01x07 - What Would Todd Do?

[bunniefuu]

- Previously, on "Twenties"

- What you

getting into tonight?

- You trying to link?

- No, I'm just curious

what you doing.

- I'll keep you posted.

- You do that.

- The audition was awful.

- You just have to go really

hard

and be super committed

to the craft.

You'll get there.

- I receive that.

- You know, you guys

are lucky to have her.

- You are preaching

to the choir.

- I'll be in touch.

- I basically told him

that if he wants

to work with me

he needs to earn it.

- What do you mean, you?

- I'm sure if he signs with

us, I'll be his day-to-day.

- Relax. I'm still your boss.

- For now.

[dramatic orchestral music]

- Here we see a Todd

in his natural habitat.

You can have a Todd sighting

anywhere

because Todds believe

they belong everywhere.

- The Todd species

is not to be confused

with a Michael or a Jeff.

- Jeff is such a nice guy.

- Jeff is mad cool.

- I dated a Jeff

once or twice.

- A Todd is a guy

who thinks

his mediocre ideas

are brilliant,

and he somehow manages

to convince other people

that his basic a*s

is a genius.

♪

- A Todd is a guy

who walks into any room

like his ancestors

have owned it

for hundreds of years.

And, yeah, they probably have.

But that's not a good thing.

♪

- Todds take up so much space,

they don't leave no room

for the rest of us.

And we stay letting them

get away with this sh*t.

♪

Back in the day,

there used to be a law

that said you had to

step off the sidewalk

when you saw

a Todd walking by.

♪

- Good morning.

[slurping]

- Mm.

[slurping]

- Do you have to do that?

- Mmyep.

All the vitamins and nutrients

are at the bottom.

- All right, ladies.

I have to go to class.

- I gotta go to work.

- Yeah, me too.

- I'll wish you ladies

a Todd-free day.

[laughter]

["OMG" by Sampa the Great]

- Flow ♪

- Oh, my gosh ♪

- Where man go? ♪

- Oh, my gosh ♪

- If a man see me ♪

- Oh, my gosh ♪

- I guess you never know

what you got till it's ♪

- [inhales]

Improv is the key

to a happy life.

Because with improv,

you have to say, "Yes, and"

Now, you shouldn't just be

saying, "Yes, and" in here.

You should say it out there

as well.

Otherwise, you will end up

a divorced, middle-aged man

who lives in a studio apartment

and teaches acting

to a bunch of people

that don't

have that much potential.

- [man coughs]

- Now, everyone,

I want you to say "yes"

as loud as you can.

all: Yes!

- Yes!

- Good. And now, class,

you will tell our two actors

who they are

and what they're doing.

And actors,

you will say, "Yes, and"

Take your pick.

- Boyfriend and girlfriend.

- Yes! Good.

Uh, and now, where are they?

And let's give 'em

some detail to work with.

- A dark alley

during a zombie apocalypse.

- Good. Now

Begin scene.

- I can't believe

we're in a dark alley

during a zombie apocalypse.

- Here, lean on me.

I saw you twist your ankle

when we were running away.

- Oh, my God,

you're bleeding.

- Ahh!

Uh, yes, and when we

jumped out of the window,

I fell into some glass.

I'll be okay.

Everything will be okay.

- There's nothing we can't

get through together.

- You're right.

We got through that time

you called me by

your ex-girlfriend's name

during sex.

- [laughter]

We got through that time

you tried to set up

a surprise threesome.

[laughter]

The time you forgot

our anniversary.

- Wow. I'm an as*h*le.

- Yes. Yes, you are.

Can you hop away from me?

Because I don't wanna spend

my last moments on this Earth

near you.

[laughter]

- And, scene.

Class, this is what happens

when you say yes.

[applause]

- That was really good.

- Thank you.

- And

And now you gotta

get out of here

before my next class

comes in, okay?

Do it quickly.

Nia.

Youare so talented.

- Thank you.

- Yeah, you've really

grown a lot

since you've been

coming to class.

You're good.

- Do you think I'm good enough

to get an agent?

- Uh, sure.

- I'm, uh,

I'm a little nervous

about the showcase.

- [laughs]

Don't worry about that.

The big agents, they never come

to these things.

Only their assistants.

Yeah.

Don't worry about the audience,

you just dance

like nobody's watching.

You just get out there,

and you have fun.

You're good.

Enough.

See you next week.

- I wanna feel the joy,

the magic of it all ♪

Ooh, baby ♪

♪

[phone chimes]

[dramatic music]

♪

- Ben got the promotion.

Ben got the promotion.

- What are you thinking?

- I'm not good enough.

- I figured that's what

you were thinking.

Then why did you ask me?

- Because I want you to know

it's not true.

- Yes, it is.

- No. It just means

that you work at a place

that doesn't value

what you bring to the table.

- That doesn't make me

feel better.

- Well, it's not supposed to.

- It's your job

to make me feel better.

- No, it's my job

to tell you the truth.

And the truth is

This business isn't fair.

It was never meant to be.

This industry will always

be frustrating for us.

That's not gonna stop us

from pursuing our dreams.

- What if I quit?

- You're not gonna quit.

- Of course I'm not gonna quit

because I am not a quitter.

- Nope.

- I am a warrior.

- Damn right.

Don't do that.

- What?

- Acting like it doesn't hurt.

[somber music]

It's okay to be disappointed.

- [voice breaking]

I know that.

[sobs]

- I just wanna remind you.

- I know that.

- I know.

♪

♪

- To Ben!

all: To Ben!

To Ben!

["Wonder Woman" by Lion Babe]

- Go ♪

- Whoa, oh, whoa, oh ♪

- I'm feelin' funny ♪

Feelin' high ♪

They lookin' at me ♪

I don't mind ♪

Now it is easy ♪

To walk on by ♪

♪

I don't want what you got ♪

So you better move along ♪

♪

- How's the writing going?

- Not too well.

I just got a lot on my mind.

Kinda hard to focus.

- What you writing about?

- Love.

- No wonder you can't focus.

It's a little vague.

What kinda love?

- What do you mean?

- Is it about a romantic love?

A friendly love?

A familial love?

Or is it about

an unrequited love?

- Most of my love

has been unrequited.

- Ditto.

[both laugh]

So which one is it?

- I guess it's

a complicated love

where no one

really knows what they want.

Or they do know what they want,

but they're too scared

to say it.

So everybody

just goes through life

not saying anything and

spending all of eternity

with the wrong person.

- Ah, that's deep.

- I know.

- What's the love interest

like?

- Vintage Eartha Kitt.

- You think Eartha Kitt

would be into you?

- Hell yeah.

- Please.

Vintage Eartha Kitt would

chew you up and spit you out.

- And I would enjoy

every second of it.

[both laugh]

- What a nice surprise.

- Uh

- Hey.

This is Connor.

- Good to meet you.

[slapping hands]

- What's up?

- Cool, cool, cool.

- [clears throat]

- Hi. I'm Lorraine.

- I'm Idina.

- Yeah, she works here.

We don't know each other

like that.

- Well, it's nice to meet you.

I'll see you soon.

♪

- We don't know each other like

that?

- We don't.

- Bye, Hattie.

- What?

What did I do?

- I don't, I don't,

I don't need you ♪

I just,

I just want you ♪

Ooh ♪

- [sighs]

- I thought you said agents

didn't come to these things.

- I know.

I think they got forced to.

You know, for inclusion

or Me Too stuff.

You know how it is.

Let's just have fun. Don't

Don'tdon't blow this for me,

okay?

- Yeah.

- Um, I would just like

to thank our guests again

for coming.

You know, tonight, we're gonna

switch it up a little.

Your scene partner

will tell you who you are,

where you are,

and what you're doing.

Which one of you

wants to go first?

- We're co-workers

at an office supply store,

uh, stacking shelves.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- And you just got a new weave.

- Yes.

- And all she can talk about

is this new weave.

- Okay.

Andbegin scene.

- Hey, you look different.

I just can't put my finger

on what it is.

- What do you mean?

- Did you change your hair?

- Yes.

Apparently I got a weave.

[low whooshing]

- Jesus may have saved my soul,

but this weave saved my life.

[laughs] Like, yesterday,

I was sitting up in the house,

and my weave was like,

"b*tch."

And I was like, uh, uh,

yes, weave.

And my weave was like, "b*tch!

You better take that chicken

out the freezer for dinner."

- That was a good save,

because what were

your five kids gonna eat?

- And you know they all

have different daddies.

- DeMarcus, my favorite

of the baby daddies.

[laughter]

- Mine too!

Not only because he pays

his child support on time,

but he always gives me

that good D whenever I need it.

Ah-ha!

- Oh, wow.

[crowd clamoring]

- Do you think

I could ask your weave,

Marquesha, a question?

- Sure, but she only

talks to me.

- Weave, should I make love

to a black woman?

[laughter]

[whispering]

[both laughing]

- My weave said

you're not worthy

of being inside a black woman.

[laughter]

- And scene.

Yeah! All right.

[applause]

[somber piano music]

♪

[all breathing heavily]

- As you reflect

on your practice today,

remember how you are

on the mat

is how you are off the mat.

Everyone can't be good

at everything.

Maybe there are things

you should just let go of

because they aren't meant

for you.

Some of you will never

be good at inversions.

You can hardly do Child's Pose.

♪

Namaste.

♪

all: Namaste.

♪

- Really liked your class.

- I'm glad you enjoyed it.

- I see you got

the Oshun candle burning.

- What you know about

the Oshun candle?

- I know that it represents

beauty and sensuality.

My dad's Nigerian.

- Oh, I didn't know that.

- AhI just wanted to say

I'm not an Uncle Tom,

I'm just competitive.

- Nobody thinks

you're an Uncle Tom.

- I see how y'all look at me.

I'm always hanging around

my white boss,

and y'all feel some type of way

about my white girlfriend.

- Becky?

- Her name's Lauren.

- To be honest, I don't really

think of you at all.

- I think of you often.

- Is that right?

- Yeah.

I know you're getting back

into acting, and I wanna help.

- How are you gonna help me?

- I just got a promotion.

I wanna make some

quality black content.

- That's not what I've heard.

- I know I'm not Marie's

favorite person right now,

but I only pretended to like

the same sh*t as the white

boys to get promoted.

And now that I'm in

the room where it happens,

I'm gonna go Nat Turner

on they a*s.

- So you shucked and jived

to get ahead?

- [laughs] Yes.

That's what

all the greats did

Flip Wilson,

Sammy Davis Junior,

Tyler Perry.

Give the white folks

what they need

till you're so rich

you can do whatever you want.

- Huh.

- Let's have a general meeting.

- But we already

know each other.

- So what?

And when a new VP

asks you to have

a general meeting,

you should say yes.

- Yes. Yes, I will.

- Wow, cool. Sweet.

I'm gonna go.

[light orchestral music]

- [exhales] And, scene.

♪

- Yo, guess who walked into

the coffee shop

with a Todd today.

both: Lorraine.

- Yup.

- And no one is surprised

by that.

- I still want y'all

to feel sorry for me, though.

- I'm tired of feeling

sorry for you.

- Wow.

Just for that,

I'm taking back

my "sorry you didn't

get promoted gift."

- It was a $10 gift card

to Radio Shack.

- You used to love Radio Shack.

- I can't believe Lorraine

would rather date a Todd

than be with you.

- That's my question.

- I hate Todds.

- Me too.

- And not all Todds are white.

- Speak on it.

- Ben is such a Todd.

- Ben's not that bad.

- Yes, he is.

He Todded his way

to that promotion.

- He a Uncle Todd.

[laughter]

♪

- What if for a whole day

we acted like Todds?

♪

What if you walked into every

room like you belonged there?

What if we took up space?

What if we made sure

our ideas were heard?

- I'm down.

- I ain't trying to get fired.

sh*t.

[upbeat percussive music]

♪

- I want something new,

something fresh.

Give it to me.

- What if we had

a g*y character?

- Oh, yeah.

Like a sassy, g*y black dude

who everyone loves

'cause he's so funny.

[laughter]

Right?

- That's good!

♪

- Yeah ♪

Yeah ♪

Yeah ♪

Yeah ♪

Yeah ♪

Yeah ♪

[chatter, laughter]

- If you really wanna do

something new,

you should write a character

that's a q*eer black woman.

And, you know, just write her

like she's a person.

- We did the black l*sbian

thing.

- Yeah.

- Her name was Donna,

and she had a lot of tattoos.

- Oh, yeah, I must've forgot

that she was a l*sbian

'cause I never saw her

kissing a woman.

- She kissed her roommate

on the cheek once.

[laughter]

- What's your job description

again?

- To make your life easier.

- You're not doing that

right now.

[upbeat hip-hop music]

♪

- Whoa! What is wrong with you?

- Please, if Todd had lost

the promotion,

he would've blown your car up.

- Who the hell is Todd?

- Why didn't I get

the promotion?

- [sighs]

First of all,

it's not just my decision.

Okay, and secondly,

there are a lot of factors.

- Like what?

- It's all very political.

- Obviously,

because you're talking

but not saying anything.

- Okay, hold on, hold on.

Look, look, look, look,

if it were up to me,

you would've gotten the job,

all right?

- Don't lie to me.

- I'm not.

I can't.

I respect you too much.

- Then why did you promote him

instead of me?

- Because my colleagues

aren't afraid of him.

They see you as a threat.

- So Ben got the job

because he's not as good as me.

- Precisely.

- That's ridiculous.

- I know.

I totally understand

if you quit.

You deserve better than this

- Is that what you want?

You want me to leave?

- You know that I don't.

♪

- All right, class

to quote the patron saint

of entertainers,

Beyoncé,

what goes around

comes back around.

Nee, you will choose

who you both are,

where you are,

and what you're doing.

Actors have the stage.

- You're playing a white guy.

- What?

That's not a thing.

- You know, like a Ken doll,

Mitt Romney-type dude.

- Huh?

- You've just been invited

to your old black nanny's

cookout!

- Wait a minute,

I don't know about this.

- Uh, class,

what does he need to do?

all: Say yes.

- Say yes, boo.

- Now walk in.

Perfect, you look like

you have a stick up your a*s.

[gasps] Oh, hello, Todd!

It's nice to see you.

Oh, boy. You shakin'.

- Yes, I

am a bit nervous.

- Right, 'cause you never

been around so many

black people before.

[laughter]

You are terrified.

- No, I have black friends.

- Oh, mm-hmm.

- [mouthing]

- Oh, Todd, honey.

I don't count.

I'm just your nanny.

I remember when you was

just a baby.

You had the cutest pink butt.

And it's still

as flat as a pancake.

[laughter]

You grew tall.

But you know what part of you

never grew?

Your little wee-wee.

- What?

- Ooh!

[laughter]

- Looks like you have a dish.

- Uh, yes, I brought

potato salad for the barbecue.

- That nasty stuff

your mama makes?

Ain't nobody want potato salad

with raisins and apples.

- Oh, well, I'm sorry.

I tried.

Yeah, you have a lovely pool.

Maybe we could go for a swim.

- I'll get my swimsuit.

- Oh, that's right.

You can't swim.

- Okay.

Well, you can't get wet,

'cause you'll come out

smelling like a wet dog.

- Ohh!

- You hear those sirens?

Did you call the police

on your old Opalene

and her black family

'cause they having

too much fun at the cookout?

- No, I would never do that.

- That's not a yes.

- Okay, yes,

I hear the police sirens,

but someone else

must have called them.

- Now why would they do that?

What's that sticking out

your backpack?

Is that an as*ault r*fle?

Did I hold a mass m*rder*r

to my bosom?

You was such a sweet boy.

[laughter]

- And, scene. Scene. Scene.

Huh?

[applause]

- You know, I feel like

this is reverse racism.

- I'm just trying to help you

build a character.

- That was bullshit.

- Yeah, it was.

- I said it with my chest ♪

And I don't care

who I offend ♪

Uh-huh, ha ♪

[breathing deeply]

[light piano music]

♪

- I wanna thank you all

for being here

and sharing your practice

with me today.

Everyone has a reason

for being here.

You could've made

a different choice.

You could've been anywhere

right now,

but you're here.

I want you to close your eyes.

What do you want to get

out of your practice today?

What do you want to get

out of life?

Breathe in and out.

And set your intention.

Open your eyes.

Now let's walk in our purpose.

["Dedication"

by Nipsey Hussle]

- Look, my [],

this is dedication ♪

This is anti-hesitation ♪

This a real []

celebration ♪

This a Dime Blocc

declaration ♪

59th and 5th Ave. ♪

Granny house

with vanilla wafers ♪

Hard work plus patience ♪

The sum of all my sacrifice,

I'm done waiting ♪

I'm done waiting, told you

that I wasn't playing ♪

- Oh, he gonna get it now,

get it, get it, get it now ♪

[upbeat hip-hop music]

♪