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02x02 - Floating Circus

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Below Deck Down Under". Aired: March 17, 2022 – present.*
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Series chronicles the lives of the crew members who work and reside aboard a 150-foot-plus superyacht during a six week charter season.

02x02 - Floating Circus

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on "Below
Deck Down Under"...

I'm so excited to see you.

It's like an old
expedition boat.

Yeah.

Have you worked on
a boat like this before?

- No.
- There you go.

- You get a new challenge.
- It is.

I'm Tzarina, by the way.

Tzarina?

I've lost my suitcase.

Oh no.

Laura. She's got
some good experience.

Chief stew?

Event organizer, I
love table settings.

I like everything all of this.

Okay.

- Margot.
- Yeah.

She's still on charter
on another boat.

She's not going to be
here for a couple of days.

Deck down and a stew down.

Yeah. We're two people down.

Have you ever met
anybody from New York?

Never.

- Statue of Liberty's there, hey?
- It is.

Bit worried about space.

Oh. Here I am thinking
it went all the way back.

Not a lot of prep areas.

Carmen Felder's founder
and CEO of her own PR firm.

Welcome aboard.

Hello.

Kristyl doesn't drink.

I would like extra
alcohol in that, please.

And still don't know where
things are in the galley.

Do you want me to work on these?

I give anything.
I'm so far behind.

Okay. Let's get through it.

My hero.

- We need to talk.
- No.

They're acting like I'm crazy.

We got on the boat
five minutes ago.

This is a... ing nightmare.

- Go away.
- It's the first day!

We'll be down at 10.

No, you should leave
someone up with the guests.

Help the stewardess.

I'm leaving. before
sh... gets weird.

The guests jumping in water.

Luke, Luke, do you copy?

Oh, really?

If I was a shark, I'd be out
right now looking for food.

So you went that next step,

I'm gonna go that next step.

We'll head back to
the marina tomorrow.

No, no, no.

b*tch, off.

We keep going down
this road, it gets worse.

- No, no, no.
- I didn't say off.

I meant to.

Oh, I feel bad. And I apologize.

We're just rolling down a hill.

- You know?
- Sorry. I'm sorry.

All you have to
do now is call it.

Go to sleep, and
everyone's good.

- Okay.
- Yeah?

We're going to shut that down.

- Please do.
- Right where it is.

Please do.

We'll put the lid
on alcohol now.

Actually, can we do one
more round of champagne?

No. We're done.

We're in trouble.

We're all adults. Go to sleep.

We'll be fine. We'll be fine.

They're so intoxicated.

I don't want to
ruin the charter.

I've warned them not
to get back in the water.

But if they want to make the
bad choice, that's on them.

I will go back to the marina
and call the charter off.

Sorry.

We're going to
have to call it a night.

- Yeah.
- Apologize.

- It's cool. We good.
- It's fine. It's fine, Brandon.

Oh my God.

Here we go.

It's just so cool that
you're Australian.

I love the way you talk.

It's hysterical.

Growing up in Brooklyn,
we lived in an apartment

underneath the train.

I was like five years old.

I watched the movie
called "Kangaroo Jack."

It was about two guys from
Brooklyn who went to Australia.

I've always wanted
to go to Australia.

Brother, I can't
go back to Brooklyn

without seeing a kangaroo.

That's so funny.

Hey, mate.

Get the out of my face,
you know what I mean?

There's no way
this is real right now.

I love that you...
Yeah, I love it.

I like it.

Sweet.

All right. Stay positive.

Did I tell you the stewardess
didn't make her flight?

What?

She can't be here for two days.

Are you joking?

Yeah. I'm joking.

Okay.

Game time, baby.

Good morning. How are you?

Last night, we had
guests go in the water,

which I had to get woken up for.

After we'd all gone down?

Yep.

I didn't even know about that.

I was up till three o'clock.

Captain, I feel really bad.

We've hit the ground running.
We've been short of stuff.

We're trying to
all work through.

Do you want to leave someone
up until maybe like two tonight?

Yeah. Like I said before,
keep someone else up later.

Okay.

So we've got support
for our stewardesses.

Work all that out.

Yeah, I'm so sorry.

At the end of the day, it
was my decision to go to bed.

I've been bosun
two and a half years.

I should know better.

I'm working on getting us
another deckhand very quickly.

- I think we need it.
- Yeah, we do.

- Thanks, Cap.
- Righto.

What are they
having for breakfast?

Lobster crab benis.

The fruit platter
will be in the middle.

I'm going to do
Hollandaise sauce.

I was about to make hash browns,

but then I realized there's
no cheese grater in this galley.

I'll take that.

Legend.

Yeah, I'll do that then.

So normally I feel
like I'm actually

quite highly organized,
but this galley's difficult

because there's
nowhere to put anything.

We're putting
that in this thing.

Just trying to get
an order flowing.

For some reason, I'm
just not handling this galley.

It's handling me, wish
Captain Jason was.

Morning.

Did you know that Brandon went
overboard at two this morning?

- None of us were up.
- Yeah.

Okay, so like half the issue
was we had no deck team up,

and I think it might
have been Laura, maybe,

that woke Captain.

So Captain got woken
up at 2:30 in the morning,

Yeah, Cap just called me
to the bridge to talk about it.

That's a full-a*s
man overboard.

We need to get
our sh... together.

There's going to be a
change tonight about shifts

and what we need
because we're down crew.

Let's make it happen.

Let's go.

The life.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

The new stew's going
to be here any minute.

- Ha.
- Which is awesome.

Okay.

I have experience
being Chief Stew.

I love it because
you're running the show

and thanks to my background
in the hospitality industry,

my standards are really high up.

There's a lot going on.

I don't do no shortcuts.

- Can you stay down here, sorry.
- Yeah.

I really need some
more orange juice.

- Orange juice.
- I better get back up.

- She asked a while ago.
- Yeah, go, go, go.

Shall I put the flag up?

Yeah, we should.

How's your bowline abilities?

Oh, mate. Top notch.

Beautiful.

I'm new to this size boat
but working with my brother,

I do all the lines, all
the everything by myself

on a 60, 82 foot boat.

They're big boats that
I'm driving by myself.

I've got the knowledge.
I've got the brains.

Right way round and
everything. Nailed it.

Good morning.

Oh my God.

Good morning.

- Good morning.
- Hi, how are you?

Would you like crab, lobster
or bacon eggs benedict?

Lobster.

Crab and lobster.

Do mine the same way as hers.

And the champagne. So when
mine is empty, that means refill.

Okay, sure.

That sounds so sh... .

Squeak.

- Is this?
- I'll take it.

I need champagne in my room
when I wake up in the morning.

- Yeah.
- 5:15 is a good time.

I won't be up at 5:15

but I can get it to you
as soon as I wake up.

All crew, all crew.

Looks like the new stew
coming over on port side.

Copy.

One lobster, two crab.

Perfect.

Hey.

Hello.

All right, we'll bring you
down the aft here, I think.

Thank you.

- What's your name?
- Margot.

- Margot, Luke.
- Nice to meet you.

- Pleasure.
- I'm so excited.

Come on, we've got Laura here.

- Hi.
- Aesha's just coming.

Perfect.

The women on the boat.

It's dangerous.

It's a little bit dangerous.

- Oh, wow. How are you?
- I'm good.

My longest relationship
ever was like four years.

I ended up... ing
it up really bad.

She was like, hey, I want
you to change a little bit.

Maybe we should settle down.

I'm like, I'm tapping out.

I didn't want to be the
guy mowing the lawn

every Saturday
because I was told to.

That is not me.

We're going to pick
up anchor in 15 minutes.

Crack over those windows.

- Where are you from?
- Wisconsin.

All right.

So what were you doing
before you yachting.

I worked for Amazon.
In a warehouse.

No windows.

And I wrote up descriptions

for all of the new
product coming in.

- Yeah.
- It sucked.

No, absolutely not.

So this is your cabin.

I started yachting
six months ago

because I wanted a
job where I could travel.

So if you get changed, and
then how are you with cabins?

Fine, I think.

Okay, so you feel
comfortable with cabins?

- So I think so, yeah.
- Okay.

In my last boat, my
chief stew was so,

like, a**l about
every little thing.

So now I'm scared to take
initiative, which is annoying.

But I've always
been really insecure.

I literally always think
I'm doing a bad job.

I'll get you to
jump into cabins.

Okay.

Do you want to run
through the plan today, Cap?

Yeah.

The guests have
a scuba diving trip

on the other side
of Green Island.

Okay.

There's three people
going in the water.

It's an hour to get there.

- So stand by.
- We'll get anchor prepped.

That swim ladder can come out.

Thanks, Cap.

One minute away from port.

We have a good-looking
stewardess team.

Team Margot.

Oops.

What a special team.

How are you with this?

It's a little short.

My crotch is, like, out.

Captain, Captain, we are
standing by at Port Anchor.


So it's sitting on that
guillotine right now.

It's sitting on here.

Okay, you can start lifting.

Coming up.

Anchor's off the bottom.

Amazing.

They're probably going to
drink that Hollandaise sauce.

That's it.

All right. Anchor in the house.

Let's go.

Oh, is that good, by the way?

- Yeah, yeah, perfect.
- Okay, sweet.

I may be a little
extra at times.

Do you know what I mean?

That's extremely
dangerous, what you did.

Y'all coulda died!

She's going to
do it again to me.

I just can't go
through this again.

I don't want to have
a meltdown again.

Who are you talking to? Nobody.

Don't even talk.

- Here we go.
- All right, girl.

- Thank you.
- Captain.

- Margot.
- Hello.

Hey, Margot.

- Welcome aboard.
- Nice to meet you.

Yep.

Wow.

You going to hit the
ground running, yeah?

- Yes. I'm ready.
- Perfect.

Aesha's going to get
you into line very quick.

She's pretty clear
and constructive,

and she's good at training.

We're halfway
through a charter.

Just got another
day and a half to go,

and we're back, and we
can regroup again as a team

and get into it. So,
yeah, good luck.

- Thanks.
- Go hard.

So nice to meet you.

So this is the best thing
that I've had for breakfast.

b*mb eggs benedict.

- How are you?
- Great.

I know. Welcome.

- Hey, how you doing?
- Hi.

I'm Adam. Nice to meet you.

- Adam?
- Adam, yeah.

Margot. Okay.

- Are you single?
- Yes, I'm single.

Oh, good girl.

- Are you single?
- Yes.

Single-minded.

It's good to be single around
these neck of the woods.

I agree.

- Hi there. Harry.
- Margo. Nice to meet you.

Likewise. Where are you from?

Wisconsin.

Where's that?

The United States of America.

Nice. Is it near Brooklyn?

Yeah, it's like 9,000
miles away from Brooklyn.

Hmm.

Laura, Laura, Aesha.

Do you mind taking Margot
and showing her cabins?

Yeah. Of course.

Cleaning products here.

We should start with cabins
while they're up at breakfast.

Okay, we're going
to get ready to drop.


Copy that, Captain.
We are standing by.

Okay, drop, drop.

- So unhook...
- Okay.

And then down.

Anchor dropping.

Bring the glass and
everything, right?

- Yes.
- Okay.

Drop.

That's two shackles
in the water, Cap.

Engineers. Shut
down main engines.

We're going to move
straight to launching the tender.

All right, Harry, man.
This is for you, skipper.

Okay.

Up.

Just tuck it, tuck it.

- Make it look pretty.
- Exactly.

Well done, guys.

I'm going to have
a quick cleanup.

Now I'm going to get dressed.

I'll come in.

Where's the swim ladder?

Oh, my God. That's not good.

- Wow.
- We'd forgotten it.

Oh, you know what
happened with it?

No one brought it back in.

- Oh, okay.
- So as soon as we went out,

it snapped off while
we were cruising.

- Gotcha.
- Not good. Not good at all.

Accidents happen.
We're a man down.

We're trying to
get everything done.

We can't catch everything.

Well, it's good.

So I guess we didn't
bring in the swim ladder.

So when we wound up to cruising
speed, it just ripped right off.

So we're just going to have
to order a new swim ladder.

- That's a big.
- Very big.

Does that one fit?

Do you want to just
take that one off?

Oh, you got it?

We just got to make it work.

- How'd you go?
- Not good.

What?

Sorry.

- That's not good.
- This is the tender ladder.

- It's the same size.
- Okay.

We can just make it work.

We don't want damage.

We can't have what's
going on last night and that.

That's a up.

- Fix it.
- I'm so sorry, Cap.

I'm a little bit worried
about the deck crew.

Luke has messed up twice.

I'm starting to wonder
whether he's suited for this role.

I understand we're
a deck hand down,

but this is just yachting 101.

An annoying up.

Learn from it.

Coming up...

Oh!

What happened?

Whoa! Whoa!

It's a lesson for us.

Have that look over the edge.

I saw it this morning
and I said to myself,

I'll bring it in before we
go, but in the moment,

like I just forgot.

Accidents happen
when we're a man down.

That's it.

How are we expected to
remember every single thing

on a 50-meter boat?

That's just being vigilant.

We've been on it for day two.

We're all good.

Maybe every hour, someone
just do a full deck check.

I've already made way too
many mistakes in front of Captain,

which is not good for me.

I'm here to make
money, so I can surf

paraglide, skydive, travel
the world and have fun.

So I need to get
my sh... together

because it's that
three-strike policy, isn't it?

Third strike, you're fired.

Don't stress about it.

- No, I'm not.
- Don't stress about it.

Harry, actually, you
should stress about it.

Because you did put it in.

I know.

Captain, I want to apologize.

Sorry.

No, no, it's fine. It
was a safety thing.

It was good. You
did the right thing.

You went to bed.
Thanks, Brandon.

There he is.

Brandon. Hey, baby.

Aesha, we're
ready for the diving.

Copy. Thank you.

Hey, Harry.

You're going scuba
diving with him.

Yeah, okay.

So, a big, big dinner.

Yes.

Night two, guests want a
Moulin Rouge theme party.

They welcome the crew to
join in and perform the Can Can.

We're dressing up as
Can Can girls tonight.

Are you by any chance a dancer?

Oh, no.

- Really?
- Yeah.

It's just like holding
each other like that.

Yeah.

I can do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's easy.

Yeah.

I asked for some dresses.

So what are you guys up to now?

Just get cabins done and then
get some laundry turned over.

That was the plan.
That was the plan.

- Top of the morning to you.
- How are you?

Where's the rest of your pants?

These are my long ones.

Beautiful.

- Ready to go diving?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

You're on the tender,
baby. You're on the tender.

This is so insane, bro.

Just spray hot
water on the mirror.

Wow.

Aesha. We need
another drink, baby.

Okay.

I just want to get acquainted
with this vacuum cleaner.

Beautiful.

Done here.

- What would you like?
- A drink.

I'll get you
something right now.

That's good.

Finally feeling a bit
better about my prep.

Oh, Marge. It's right here.

Here you go.

- Do I have mine?
- Making yours now.

Okay, t*tties.

Laura, Laura.

Alkaline water.

- Yes.
- Alkaline.

- Do you want ice?
- Lots of ice.

Yeah, lots of ice.

Aesha, Laura?

Go ahead.

Oh my God.

Aesha, Aesha.

Will someone give me like
a lowdown on the laundry?


Laura, could you take
on the guests, please?


Cheers.

Woo.

Let's do it.

I'm a scuba diver.

I'm certified down to 45 meters

and certified to breathe pure
oxygen, which in diving terms,

it's pretty high up
in the ranks, I guess.

I'm not trying to sound
like I've got a massive ego

on my head, but I love it.

It's such a passion of mine.

I like to swim with the fish
rather than catch the fish.

Guest stuff, if they
want it washed,

always just do
delicate and cold.

Thank you.

The first mistake was you
keep putting it in front of Ashley.

Northern Sun, Northern Sun.

Go ahead.

Tender's coming back now.

Copy that.

Margot, can you stand with
welcome towels for the boys?


Copy.

- Okay, gentlemen.
- Yes, hello.

- I'm Margot.
- Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Oh, my God. It's
getting dark already.

Chef, what are you
doing for dinner?

- Yeah.
- Yep.

Okay, so it's French night.

Moulin Rouge.

Oh, oh, oh. Ooh, ooh, ooh.

I love French food.

It's an incredible cuisine.

I lived in the French
Riviera for a bit,

been travelling
private chef there.

Mini baked potatoes, duck
for main, and then dessert.

It's like a chocolate
cake thing.

As a chef, some of my
best dishes I've done

are traditional French,

but then I do give my
own twist on how I plate it.

So today the galley's
going to be my b*tch, okay?

Nervous about
cooking for captain.

Because when he's like, oh,

can I have this food for the
rest of my life if I marry her?

And it's like, you know...

Pressure's on.

Exactly.

Amazing.

Okay.

Ready?

- Oh.
- Did you hear that?

- I felt it.
- Oh, my goodness.

Ow.

Do you feel better?

You're a real treat.

I don't have a type.

I've dated like really
as*h*le douchey boys

who are like c*ck and
arrogant and whatever.

Sometimes they're
not even that cute.

Something about someone
who's just confident.

Like, that's really
attractive to me.

Tomorrow night, get to party.

I'm so excited.

And I've dated, like,

I guess I haven't really
dated anyone that's really nice.

What's your drink?

I love tequila.

You're just getting
better and better.

So, the provisioners were
able to find a Can Can dress.

- What?
- Yeah.

So, can you do a Can Can?

Yay.

Perfect.

So, do you want to do
dinner? It's not here yet.

It's coming.

But do you want to do dinner

and when they're finishing
up dessert, then bring it out?

Are we going to have some music?

That's the Can Can, it's like

It's like, can you do
cha cha and tango?

Like, not really.

Yeah, true, true.

So, there's a... ing party.

I don't want... I've already
been a hot mess, but I'm...

Oof.

- Margie.
- Margie?

I've got to think of a fun
nickname for you now.

How old are you?

How old do you think I am?

Oof. I don't know.

How old are you?

I'm 53.

- Fifty?
- Yeah.

Twenty-seven.

- You're 24.
- I'm 23.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Okay.

I'm the youngest crew member.

- How old is Luke?
- Old.

Thirty, I think.

Do you think that's old?

Well, I'm the tallest
crew member, though.

That's true. So, you win there.

I do.

I think the height
outweighs that actually.

Yeah.

- How tall are you?
- Six foot four.

I am six foot five,
but I say six foot four,

because chicks,
like, they love it.

Six foot five girls
think is too tall.

Six foot three,
it's not tall enough.

Six foot four is, like,
the golden number.

I've learnt from experience.

It's just a number.

Hey, guys. How are we?

I am knackered, eh?

Feeling tired?

Well, I did get up at four a.m.

I haven't had a break yet.

We're down a man.
Why don't you go down?

See you in the morning.

I will borrow you
for the decorations.

I'd like to be ready by 8:20.

Right.

We can, like, refresh and
see what we're going to wear.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

How are you girls going?

This already looks gorgeous.

I love it.

Maybe, like, 8:30
we'll get changed.

Okay.

But not half an hour's worth.

It probably will be.

I don't like dancing.
I love dancing.

I like to think about all
the details from a to zed.

But you need to allocate
time to do these things.

I can't make
pancakes without flour.

We just can't all be
gone for half an hour,

so we can just get
changed and, like...

I'll be quick.

- Okay.
- Cool. Cool.

Coming up...

- Get that fender over.
- Stand by, stand by.

Don't worry about the
line. Get the fender over.

Don't let that hit.

Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.

It's very... ing close.

Okay.

You're so good at
this. Oh, my God.

Girls, girls.

Quickly get changed.

So cute.

Here we go.

Oh, my gosh. Stop it.

Hold still.

All crews. Provisions are here.

All right. Anyone just
talking to me over here?

Oh, a Can Can dress!

Amazing.

- Laura?
- Yeah?

Can Can dress.

That looks amazing.

Okay, so when
they're having dessert,

you'll have to run
off and put that on.

Yeah.

And then we can
start playing the music.

The humidity is not
a friend of my hair.

Are we ready? Let's go.

Let's do it, kids.

Deck team, if you guys
can get your costume on.


Let's go, bro.

Oh, I'm so excited.

Look at the table.

- Look at our whole Moulin Rouge.
- I love it.

- Very elegant.
- Yeah.

Look at that. We're
Moulin Rouge.

I'm pouring two more glasses
of wine and then we can go.

You need a mask.

Thank you so
much for joining us.

- It's awesome.
- All right.

Deck crew, are you ready to go?

ing born ready.

Do you want to start on cabins?

- Yeah.
- Cheers.

Cheers.

- Oh, man.
- No. Definitely not.

Today was absolutely amazing,

but scuba diving
is intimidating.

Like, do you go
scuba diving as well?

Yeah.

How long have you
been, like, scuba diving?

- Probably the last 30 years.
- 30 years.

You only look 31, so
you started very young.

Yes.

So it's stuffed baked
potato with caviar.

Yeah. Want to take them?

All right.

Okay, now, ladies. Now,
let's get in formation.

Yeah, that looks beautiful.

For your starter tonight,

stuffed baked
potato with caviar.

Enjoy.

Delectable.

- Simply amazing.
- Yeah.

What do you think, Captain?

Very good for the
palate. It's nice.

So they want the window
blinds open like this.

Sounds good.

Did you want to
start clearing these?

Thank you.

- Yes.
- Okay.

Enjoy.

I will make sure.

But I can't show my
face in Brooklyn after this.

Chef, I just got told
this was the best ever.

Really? That's good.

I'm always striving
to be perfect.

And if I'm not, I
destroy myself.

In high school, there's a
substitute teacher that came in

and I was spending a little
extra time on a painting.

and he said to the main teacher,

oh, this one must
be a perfectionist.

And she just went,
oh, God, not Tzarina.

I felt instantly discarded.

I don't want to feel
like that ever again.

So what is this?

Pan-cooked duck with
fennel and sweet potato.

Looks so good.

When's the last time you've
seen women in corsets?

So for this course, we've
got the pan-fried duck

with the fennel
and sweet potato.

Sounds very Kiwi
French, doesn't it?

How is it?

Gotta keep chewing. See?

- A little chewy.
- I know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, it's a little tough.

The flavor is good, though.

Do you want some of this?

Oh, I love it.

Because it's like...

But it's so gooey.

Chocolate mousse.

Give us the rundown on
this whole Can Can thing.

So I will come from the stairs.

Okay.

And start to dance.

And then I'm
there for too long.

- You just all...
- Come in.

Yeah.

Oh, it's rich. It's rich.

We're going to take
dessert out soon.

Do you want to go and get ready?

Okay.

Yeah, because I
need to do my hair.

I really need to clean this.

Oh, my.

Aesha.

I want to tell you I
have no radio in my ear

while I'm getting dressed.
It's just impossible.

This is a mess.

One of those polishing
a turd moments.

When do you all head back?

Are you doing some
more in Australia?

They're going to Melbourne.

And then the outback.

I don't want
anybody shushing me.

Who's shushing you?

She just shushed me.

Oh, my gosh. Gorgeous.

Really?

Gorgeous all the same.

Yeah, it's like a
gorgeous mess.

Can we get in there because
they're going to start fighting.

- Yeah.
- That was me.

- That was Rhoda.
- That was me.

- Rhoda.
- I apologize.

Please don't do that. Okay.

We're all taking turns.

Hi, guys.

So I've done a
chocolate mousse cake.

With butternut ice
cream and raspberries.

Thank you so much.

It seems a bit messy.

This dinner's a little
bit of a mismatch.

The food is not up to
superyacht standards in any way.

It tastes all right, but there's
no presentation about it.

Mmm.

This is delicious.

Laura.

I need help.

We need to get this
show on the road.

I need help.

Oh, my God.

What do you need help with?

- That.
- Pull down.

- Cool.
- Okay.

I'll get the song ready.

Thank you, Captain.

I'm going to bed.

No, you're not.
No, you're not. Stop.

No, you're not.

Krissy. Let's go smoke.

I'll come from the stairs.

- I go up.
- We need to go. We need to go.

I love you. But why are
you coming after Carmen?

I'm not coming at her no more.

Why were you
coming at her at all?

Yes.

Okay. I'll gather them.

I need some c*ck.

Yeah, we're drinking c*ck.

We're going to tell them to come
because we've got a performance?

Yeah.

Laura takes the Can
Can really seriously.

And I love that passion.

But Jesus, it's almost like
we're just in a floating circus.

Hello. Can we get c*ck?

Can you guys go
back to the table

because we've got some
entertainment prepared?

We need some...

We're up. We're up. Let's go.

Sugar and spice
and everything, nice.

I'm so ready for this.

Let's go down. They
have entertainment for us.

All right. We're going.

Okay, they're coming back.

- I think we need some music.
- We do need some music.

I think we need
some entertainment.

Oh, no. It was just playing.

My internet's
not... ing working.

Oh, my God. You're joking.

You're joking, not now!

Oh, my God.

My internet's
not - ing working.

I need to dance right now.

We need the Can Can.

You just need to get elevated.

I think we need some music. I
think we do need some music.

Okay. I'm going to
leave my phone here.

Press play from up here.

I just want to dance.

Oh, my God.

You are everything.

Oh, my God.

Yes, girls.

That was amazing.

That's so good.

I did great.

That was b*mb.

Amazing.

- You happy?
- Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, I mean.

The duck was a little bit tough.

As I was plating up, I was like,

there shouldn't be
that color when it rests

it should be still that bright,
beautiful, duck pink, red.

Yeah.

Obviously, the dessert
was a sloppy presentation.

It's very refreshing that
you knew every point

that I was going to say.

There's no backlash.
There's no blaming.

She's owning it.

She understands what went out.

And hopefully, next
time, will be better.

The self-aware chef definitely
has got the potential to grow.

- Well done.
- Thank you.

Oh, it's beautiful Captain.

Best party ever.

Well done.

I'm done. I'm passed out.

Do you mind doing
those plates, there?

Sure.

- I'm done.
- Go to bed.

- I'm out.
- Oh, I'm just going to bed.

I'm drunk. I like alcohol.

All right, guys. Let's
get going to bed.

That's great.

Okay, so go and
get some rest in here.

If you start at
quarter to seven,

and just jump in the laundry.

Okay.

I might drop down.

Can you stay up for
like another hour or so?

Sounds good, brother.

All right, girl. I'm
going to go down.

Yeah.

You just take your
eight hours, okay?

Okay, thank you.

What time do you start tomorrow?

Me? I'm off tomorrow.

They gave me the day off.

No, you're lying.

I'm serious.

They were like, because
you were helping everybody.

And you're so nice and
sweet and handsome.

You got the day off.

Are you serious?

No, I'm just playing.

Good night.

My underwear's
really uncomfortable.

ing tired.

Hey, concentrate, Tzarina.

Good morning.

Hug it out.

Good morning.

Do you want to pop down
to the laundry, maybe?

- Yeah.
- See if it needs turning over?

Is there any chance you
want to wake Carmen up?

Have you got a rose?

Yes.

I've never had a guest
request handsome yacht crew

to wake them up.

They want handsome
men to wake them up.

Breakfast in bed,
little rose, all that stuff.

Okay, I'll do it.

Big tips, big tips,
big tips, big tips.

I grew up with a lot of brothers

and Jason has become
like a brother to me.

And I just really
like putting him

in embarrassing situations
where I can laugh at him.

Good morning.

Thank you, sir.

And your flower in your
mouth is simply amazing.

I know, it's fresh, too.

I didn't get that
on my birthday.

Amazing.

Yes!

Oh, I can feel that
wind coming already.

Hope this is right.

If it's not, I'm going to
punch myself on the face.

Little quail eggs.

I feel like a giant.

Little quail eggs.

So cute.

I love mini stuff so much.

I want to make sure people
are getting something special.

So I like to be
above and beyond.

Not just a pretty face and
a perfect butt. Just saying.

They're ready to go.

- Cool.
- This is so beautiful.

Good morning.

The food is amazing.

I have more food.

Little mini pancakes.

- Mini eggs.
- They're adorable.

- My dad raises quail.
- Does he?

My dad raises
quail. I swear to God.

Would anybody like a bagel?

I want that juicy
one right there.

This is the most amazing thing.

They're so excited
about all the mini things.

Luke, Luke, swim ladders in.

Copy that, Captain.

When you're ready,
you can start hauling.


Lifting anchor.

I got to say...

Carmen, I'm so thankful
that you invited me.

This is the best.

Extra, extra read all about it.

What are we reading?

You answer that.

Why am I the one serving?

You're drinking
out of the bottle.

That is so unclassy.

I think you b*tches are boring.

Then don't come out
here. How about that?

- No, no, no.
- I want to have fun.

So I'm walking away.

Bridge aft, anchor
home, anchor home.

We're getting out of here.

- Carmen, Carmen who?
- Don't do that.

And don't go by my best friend.

Your best friend or mine?

Never.

- I can't, bro.
- You're not hungry?

No, I get seasick.
I'll throw it up.

Really?

You have no idea how bad it is.

How do you work on commercial
ships if you get seasick?

I throw up.

And you just push through it?

It's worth the money, bro.

Well, career choice.

Growing up, my mom busted a*s

to get me into this all-boy
Catholic High School.

I have friends, you know, the
new Mercedes they just got.

And I'm over here
talking to my mom about

how they raised the
price of milk 50 cents.

My ultimate goal is to make
sure my siblings are taken care of.

So with sea sickness,

you know, you
try to figure it out.

Do what you got to do.

I've never been seasick, hey?

Hey, guys, we're going
to be the tide coming out.

It's going to push
you onto the dock.

The wind's going to push us on.

The tide's going
to push us back.

Just tell me when I'm in line.

All right. Thanks, Cap.

We've been having
an enjoyable breakfast.

Let's keep it that way.

It's uncalled for.

We don't talk to non-factors.

You're nobody.

Oh, gosh.

I just want to dock this
bloody boat and get them off.

I will pay you to leave.

Please go.

We're not doing this.
Please go away from me.

This is the dock. This is us.

It's going to bow thrust in.

I'm going to give him
distances off the dock.

He wants to be parallel
to the dock coming in.

Luke, have you got
that roaming fender?

Yeah, we got two fenders.

If you want a girl up
there, you can grab interior.


Hey, Margot, can we steal you
up on the main deck, please?

Coming.

I'm, like, nervous.

I haven't been this
nervous for a long time.

You've got it. You've got it.

It's a nerve-wracking
thing docking a boat

for the first time.

Can you be our roaming
fender girl, please?

Yeah.

So just have this up and
down this companion way.

And if we're going to
get close to anything,

I'll just let you know.

This is our first docking.

Getting off the dock was hard.

- Quickly.
- Yep.

- It's about to crunch.
- Whoa.

It's about to crunch.

Good job.

How did we not hit?

Now, the wind's strong.

I've got two knots of
tide pushing me as well.

I have to drive the
boat from inside.

Normally, we have
wing stations outside

where we can see
what's going on.

So I need good
communication from Luke.

I've got a boat that's
only got one propeller.

So, yeah, I'm a
little bit worried.

- You're on the deck team now.
- Great.

Talk about being
thrown in the deep end.

It is unacceptable.

Are you free, Laura?

- Yes.
- Go down to where Harry is.

I feel like deck hand.

Hey, Adam. All ready to go?

All ready on the bow.

Respect isn't in
your vocabulary.

I am so angry at you.

- Am I parallel?
- You are parallel.

Starting to lose
the stern a little bit.

Bows coming across.

Nice and tight on that line
so we don't creep back, okay?

Right. Bring this
fender down aft.

Okay.

We just can't
step on this line.

- Okay.
- We have two meters to run.

You need to pack your bags

because you're
getting kicked off.

Bridge, we're starting to
get the stern to the dock.

A little bit unparallel.

Yeah, it's pretty swelly.

You line me up and you
can get a line on there.

Come back two meters.

Get to that corner,
all three of you.

- Where?
- Get the fender over the side.

- Tell me where.
- Yeah, this corner here.

So, can I throw this line?

- Get that fender over.
- Fender.

Don't worry about the
line. Get the fender over.

Fender over.

The corner of the boat.

Stand by. Stand by.

Watch the very corner.

It's very... ing close.

Don't let that hit.

Get that fender over.

Don't worry about the
line. Get the fender over.

Watch the very corner.

It's very... ing close.

Don't let that hit.

I'm afraid it's
going to explode.

Okay, bridge, come
back just a little bit.

All right, girls. I'm going to
throw this over your head.

The edge is coming back now.

You tighten up when you have to.

That's an offshore line ashore.

Okay, now it's good.

- Okay.
- Yay.

Good job, girls. Well done.

Lock it off. Lock her off.

Okay, bridge, we are locked
off and we're tight on our springs.


Okay, as soon as you finish
that, Adam, I'll shut down.


I don't know what I'm doing.

I'm out of my element, brother.

So close.

Well done.

Come on.

Tighten that up there, mate.
We're tight on every other line.

Like a dummy.

Okay, well done. First time.

So, I hope you
got a lot out of that.


Perfect. Thanks so much.

I'm ready to go home.

All crew, all crew.
Let's get bags.


Dress in our whites.
Ready for guest departure.

So, Krissy destroyed everything.

You're going to shut up

and you're going to
continue to shut up.

I tried to enjoy my vacation.

No. What you did
is uncalled for it,

but let's not get into it.

I was having a whole meltdown.

This is why I'm g*y.

Man, there's a look
I've never seen before.

I don't think
you pulled it off.

Let's get these guests off.

I'm gonna miss you!

I'm sorry for you
having to wake up.

- It was their fault.
- That's fine.

- Thank you.
- I'm going to apologize.

The characters here...

You guys were everything
I could possibly hope for.

And your alarm clock
was pretty good, too.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Food was delicious.

- I appreciate you.
- Oh, and good luck.

Thank you very much,
Carmen. Appreciate it.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Thank you, guys.

Could you do another
three days of that?

Bye.

Get into your work clothes.

Get all the rubbish off,
and then we'll regroup.

And we'll have a tip meeting.

Woo-hoo.

All right, let's
do this rubbish.

Get it done.

I'll take that little one.

Keep it moving.

Oh, there's a
mirror. I didn't know.

Are you going to take that?

Yeah.

You are truly a machine.

I think it's because I grew up
on my own since I'm like, teen.

I'm traveling around the world.

- Every country went alone.
- Wow.

I left Latvia as
soon as I turned 18.

I only have 200
euros and a paper

with the address
where I need to go.

My grandma told my mom,
she'll be back in two weeks.

Don't worry. Young
kid with no money.

What can she do then?

I went to Denmark
without knowing anyone,

just having two
suitcases with me.

Oh, my God.

Because I wanted
to learn English.

I got five jobs and came back.

Never.

I just always wanted
to do something more.

Yeah.

All crew, all crew.

Meet in the main
salon for the tip meeting.

- Copy.
- Copy, Captain.

I need to smash out
my galley after this.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

Woo-hoo.

Okay, guys. Welcome
to the first tip meeting.

- Yes.
- One of nine.

Let's go.

We started with two
less crew than normally.

The first 24 hours was hectic.

We got through it all.

Thank you very
much for last night

and coming up with
that to entertain people.

And that's what we have to do.

We have a deckhand
who's on route.

So he'll be here
for our next charter.

- Yeah.
- So that's good.

Right. Tips.

Yay.

So the grand total is
$17,500 U.S. Dollars.

That's $1,590
each. U.S. dollars.

Yay.

Look at the Benjamin's.

This is 120 shots at
the pier bar tonight.

Also, we have a little
award we give out.

Okay.

But this award, it's a kind
of you can do better award.

Oh, no.

However, if you do wear
it, all the juju goes away.

Oh, Lord, please, no.

The helmet goes to Culver.

Oh, no.

The helmet's got to go to Mags.

You have to wear
that for dinner.

Is it an award or
a wooden spoon?

So the award, this
charter goes to...

Look, it has to go to the deck
for losing the swim ladder.

Oh.

And because Luke has taken
ownership of the swim ladder...

So he gets the helmet tonight.

Pass it down, Cap.

Yay.

Growing up, I was
a troublemaker.

I've never had a
Dad around, like, ever.

You know, I've never had
someone, like, discipline me,

but I learned from my mistakes.

This is responsibility in
helmet form right now.

This is accountability
in helmet form.

All right, good work,
team. I'm proud of you.

All right.

I'm going to wear this on deck.

What are you going to wear out?

I look amazing in anything,
because I'm naturally beautiful.

Kind of, like, do this, too.

- What have you been doing?
- I'm wrapped up.

Go. Let's finish.

It's beer-o'clock, Eddie.

You ready to wear your helmet?

I'm going to get my d*ck
sucked with the helmet on.

The first one to do it.

First day, first one.

What did he just say?

- What?
- Extra.

Hello.

Oh, it's so nice
to see your face.

And how was the charter?

It was crazy, because
all of the guests were, like,

screaming at each other.

It was very dramatic.

Oh, and I forgot to give
my money to show you.

We got $1590 US each, so
there's some house deposit.

Scott and I have been
together for over two years now.

We're planning to buy
a house in New Zealand,

because living in the converted
ambulance has been lovely,

but we would really
like to poop in real toilets

instead of in buckets.

- I love you.
- I love you, too.

The next step in our
relationship is flushing.

Bye.

Okay, um, I take a shower?

Okay, girl.

- Yes?
- Yeah.

Awesome.

Here you go, baby. Night one.

Do you have a hair
dryer and a straightener?

I've got a straightener,
but not a hairdryer.

Still no suitcase.

I had all my outfits planned.

- It's so fun.
- I know.

I really like to dress up.
I do like my nice stuff.

Chanel's one of my favorites.

Giorgio Marni, head to toe.

My dream would be to marry rich

and start a charity
or something.

You know, just spending
my husband's money.

That would be great.

Do you want to wear
something of mine?

Can I sit in the
restaurant naked here?

- No.
- Do you have something, though?

I've got my tracksuit,

which I'm on for three
weeks, ready to go.

I don't want you to
wear your... ing tracksuit.

Why? I'm comfy in it.

It's a love potion.

It's not bad, is it?
It's not bad at all.

- What about this one.
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah, I have a whole
bunch of scents going on.

Oh, my God.

Someone went to the car
wash and paid extra for the wax.

I know!

She's still in the shower.

Unbelievable.

- You look so cute.
- This is the lads room.

Which one do you think mine is?

The bottom,
because it's longer.

How come you guys
have two pillows?

Do you want one? I only use one.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Can I actually have one?
- Yeah.

Oh, this is such good news.

I'm ready to go out tonight.

I'm feeling fantastic.

With Margot, I
already have the feels.

There is a goal to
look good, impress,

and to maybe lead to something,

but I'm going to play it cool.

Yes! Oh, I'm so happy.

Why are you not getting ready?

I'm waiting for Laura
to get out of the shower,

and it's been a
really long time.

Tell me when.

Yeah.

What are you going to wear?

- This.
- I love that about you.

- Margot!
- You done?

Yeah.

Finally.

Black shoes, black
pants, black shirt.

It's my favorite color,
bro. It's like my heart.

- Laura.
- It's a quarter passed.

Can we go?

Where the is Laura?

She's just taking
forever, you know?

What are we doing?

Laura's in the bathroom
for, I want to say, six hours.

We're all excited
and ready to go.

I mean, look at Tzarina.
She's in a track suit.

What is the time? Let's go.

I'm not close to be ready.

I really want to say something,
but I'm from Wisconsin,

and this is how we are.

We're just really polite.

We got to go. We got to go.

Coming up...

Really?

It's game on.

Yeah!

Let's go. We have to go.

We got to go!

- Honestly, love.
- What?

What are you doing?

I'm peeing.

Honestly, you've been
a long time. Let's go.

Okay, I'm coming.

I've been single
for four years,

I cannot go on the street
without being dressed up.

This would be,
like, embarrassment.

I don't want to be
dating anymore,

having boyfriends. My next
one's gonna be my husband.

Laura.

Welcome. You look good.

I can't say you look
good after three hours.

- Can we go?
- Let's go.

Yes!

Let's get the out of here, yo.

I want to be with Harry.

I'm coming in this one, baby.

Let's go!

Let's go, baby.

Go!

Bye!

I'm going to wear
one of your shirts.

With a belt.

I don't think so.

Your labia's going
to be hanging out.

I think they're talking about
who they have crushes on,

and I've got a feeling
it's the three of us here.

It's like the little
sleeves to hang out.

- Really?
- I've seen 'em.

Let's go, baby.

Hey, helmet.

Reunited.

Hey, guys. Welcome to Pier Bar.

Thanks.

- Drinks?
- Oh, yes.

Can I please get a margarita?

And can we all
get a tequila shot?

- Me too.
- Same.

Can I have a skinny...

Bacardi and coke, please.

Be right back with those.

How you feeling off the bat?

Head of department
to head of department?

Real happy.

It obviously means that
we're pretty capable.

Yeah.

No one lost,
like, the fun of it.

Do you know what I mean?

Oh, yes.

Margarita. Margarita.

Smile.

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Charter one!

I love it.

You've got the
jeans, the crop top,

not the three and a half
hours in the bathroom.

No. I don't do that.

I want to get my boogie on.

Come on.

After you, miss.

I have a pick-up line.

I'm trying to flirt with them.

I'm just like, "hey,
miss, how are you?"

And then they always just reply,

"Oh, hey, I'm really
good. How are you?"

They love it. "Miss."

And it could lead to a kiss,

and then it could
lead on from that.

But the percentage
of it leading to a kiss,

I'd say 50%.

It's pretty good.
It could be better.

But it's pretty good.

Really?

Harry is this long,
lanky, full of energy,

Dalmatian on ice.

It kind of works in
my favor a little bit,

because Harry's like,

and then I'm
like, subtle and sly.

It's game on.

- Ready?
- Oh!

Oh, what?

I don't want this.

What?

What are you guys
talking about here?

Nothing.

Yay!

Yes, I'm so happy!

Oh!

What happened?

Oh!

I'm not impressed.

Next on "Below
Deck Down Under..."

We've got the new
deck hand staring today.

- Oh, look.
- Oh!

Flirting's gone past flirting.

Has it? It's been one date.

Do you want to press it?

There's something
between... Margot and I.

Oh!

Jack Freeman is a
luxury interior designer

with expensive taste.

- How are you?
- Classic rich kids.

Daddy's money.

We're like king and queen here.

Oh, no!

I'll just wait 'til they ask.

Yeah, I need a bit of ice.

If I were chief stew, my
standards would be a bit higher.

Put these lines away.
Clean up these fenders.

We should be started up by now.

That's our fault, we
weren't prepared.

I need Luke to be on the ball.

Oh, there's glass!

He's cut himself.

- Not good in the white, is it?
- No.