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02x06 - Forever Drunk

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Pause with Sam Jay". Aired: May 21, 2021 – July 8, 2022.*
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Each episode takes place in a house party, where comedian Sam Jay talks to guests over drinks about the episode's central topic.

02x06 - Forever Drunk

Post by bunniefuu »

Yo!

You look good.

- Don't I, b*tch?
- It... it's giving me real Clueless.

You not going to address my crystals?

No, no, I don't really...

- where, your t*tties?
- What if I take it out of my vag*na

and give it to you?

That'd be, absolutely not.

All your witchcraft,
lies, and Hennessy.

- You're fast and over, b*tch.
- I believe nothing.

Silly faces.

- Babe, get out of here. No.
- Just, c'mon, silly faces.

Dorchester. Dorchester.

Jungle is always r*cist.

- Always.
- You think so?

Yo, jungle bunny, jungle white...

- Any word, any word.
- Jungle and the race.

Jungle Asian. Yeah, bad.

I got a f*cking problem.

I don't really have a handle on it.

- I do it when I don't want to do it.
- Yup.

- Yeah, I feel you.
- Like, it's a problem.

- A hundred percent.
- It's a problem.

- Yes.
- Yes.

That's all the things
that set up an addiction.

Like, it doesn't require anything
of you to keep doing it.

I'll put it on wax,
cigarettes, quit that.

I could smoke crack once,
never do it again.

- b*tch...
- Porn...

- No, you can't
- I will always be

- addicted to that.
- You can smoke crack once.

No, the f*ck you can't.

- What are you talking about?
- n*gga, you can't smoke crack once.

I smoke...
I smoke crack from the hood.

- I brought your a*s from the train.
- You're African.

Wait... you don't think

- that you can smoke crack one time
- No.

- and then...
- No.

just drive somewhere,
and get over there?

- You can smoke crack once.
- No.

Are you telling me crack has
a hundred percent conversion rate?

- For n*gg*s, for n*gg*s.
- That's wrong. That's wrong.

- For n*gga...
- You have to have

- an addictive personality though.
- Mimosa, boom

and then whatever happens
after that...

I got to go somewhere
where there's no crack, though.

Well, n*gga,
then you can't smoke it once.

- You're a crack head.
- Bro! Bro!

You got to go somewhere to...

None of this, none of this...

And you're the strongest n*gga ever.

None of this signals a crack habit.

So what do you feel like... what do
you feel like you're addicted to?

I think right now, my screens.

I think I'm addicted to screen time.

I think I always have
my television on

- What do you play on there, dude?
- or my cell phone

- or whatever.
- Screen time and alcohol?

You think you're addicted to alcohol?

- Yeah.
- Why?

- I drink everyday.
- if that sh*t was crack

- she wouldn't be talking like that.
- Me and you drink every day.

- And?
- So we're not addicted to it?

- No! I'm definitely not addicted...
- Not even a little bit?

- No. No.
- Babe...

- My love, you are addicted.
- Okay. I think I'm trying to get...

- I love you...
- I'm not addicted to alcohol.

I fully understand
my relationship with alcohol.

It's not an addictive relationship.

- What is it? Then what...
- It's, I...

I drink 'cause I like that sh*t.

So I was drunk, like really... drunk

and I was hanging out
with my homeboy, Will.

We were at this club

and Will's, like,
a seven-foot-tall dude.

Like, he's really, really tall.

So, we were walking
through this crowd

and I was walking behind him,
you know what I'm saying?

And I guess he got
in this altercation

because I just saw his hand

and the dude took
a whole, like, full glass of beer

and threw it in my f*cking face...

'Cause he's at the dance floor

he's like dutty wining
with this chick.

If you don't know what
dutty wining is, just look it up.

He had even bought
this nameplate belt

that said duct tape

and so I started just
throwing drinks down at the dudes

like a bunch of drinks,
a bunch of drinks.

And then I flipped over
the whole table on top of them

so then, of course,
security came running

but I used to go to this club,
like, every week and get f*cked up.

"This n*gga threw
a f*cking drink on me

and it's my birthday"

and so they ended up throwing
that dude out.

So then I felt the f*cking man,
I was like

"Hell f*cking yeah!"

So I kept drinking.
I went to the bathroom

but I was so drunk
that I just like sat down on the top

and I didn't lift the toilet seat up.

I pissed all over my legs and stuff.

I went up to her and I was like

"There's an Indian girl out there.
Go find her."

Also, we were in black a*s Atlanta.

So she was the only Indian girl
in the club.

So I knew she was gonna be able
to find her.

I got into a very desperate spot.
If you like gum and tampons

and body spray?

And then Kerri came,
she tied a jacket around my waist

and we got the f*ck out of there.

Do you think I'm an alcoholic?

I mean, I think that

you know,
a story like that...

yes and no.

I know for me, I think everybody
has to have their threshold

and I'm like, "Bro..."

I ain't never been drug out of no bar

I ain't never been so passed out

y'all n*gg*s had to carry me nowhere.

- Yeah, right.
- I'm always in control

of my faculties

- Yeah.
- what I'm doing, where I'm going.

Now, I may get through
that threshold, and with you

- have a total breakdown.
- I was about to say now, baby

- you have been a mess.
- I may, but so have you.

I mean, we grew up together

- watching each other.
- Hey, hey. What you not gonna do?

That's different, and there was
a time where it was bad.

When my mother died, it was bad.
It was dark. I was dark drinking

I was f*cking blacking out

- I would say...
- But that wasn't alcoholism either

- that was...
- I would say that was.

I would say that was an addiction.

But do you think... you think
you were addicted at that point?

I think I was

because I was using it
to cure something it couldn't cure

and I was being
in a very dark place with it.

- Using it as a vice.
- And I wasn't...

and I wasn't in control
of my relationship with it

and I had to stop drinking.

I stopped drinking
for, like, a year and a half.

I'm not saying there isn't a line
that could possibly cross

where like, my sh*t is in shambles
and I'm selling my shoes...

If my credit goes down,
I have to quit drinking.

Right, and I'm selling my shoes
on a corner or some sh*t

but I'm saying
I'd never have allowed alcohol

to f*cking put me out
and I've seen people do that.

I got f*cking relatives.

Alcohol has put them out.

- Yeah.
- They are down bad, my n*gga

- and it's only over liquor.
- Right.

- So what do you...
- So, if I don't hit that sh*t

I'm like, n*gga, I'm chilling.

- What are you talking about?
- So how do you make that delineation

between what the bad, negative word

addiction is,
and something that you just like?

Yeah, I mean, is that the issue,
is the term?

I think so.

I drink in the shower sometimes.
It's nice.

Like a good shower c*ck, n*gga.

How you keep the water out the drink?

Sometimes I put it...

- Dude, how small is your shower?
- First of all

how small is your shower? Thank you!

- Queen...
- Y'all can jump in my shower!

Queen, how small is your shower,
n*gga?

- Where do you live?
- I still think

- you can smoke crack one time.
- No!

A vice can be something that

ranges from

something that you like

you feel like it gives you
a little edge, loosens you up.

When it comes to alcohol being a vice

it becomes an addiction

when it is starting to eclipse

everything else
that's good in your life.

Is there any like, space

where it's, like, if you're addicted
to something

but you can afford to maintain it

and it's not ruining your life,
where it's like

sure, you're addicted to this,
but it's not a big deal?

They usually call those people,
like, functioning alcoholics

functioning addicts

and, you know, that kind of...
that kind of justification

kind of keeps them sick
and suffering.

You know, it... it's like...

You know, "Oh, sure, I might go
a little overboard

with my drinking and, you know

it has some negative consequences,
but...

I still got a job,
my rent's still paid."

It's like

the chaos that their life has become
becomes the new norm.

You know,
is it compromising your life

to the point
where it's eclipsing the good things

that, you know,
in terms of your functionality?

Are your relationships suffering?

Are you letting people down?
You know?

Like, say I go full A Star is Born,
like I'm in the shallow

I... I'm on stage, pissing my pants

pass out drunk

it's a public debacle,
but I only do it one time.

Is the minute the behavior goes
over the edge like that

it's like, it's time
for someone to step in?

No, not necessarily. Listen...

with everybody, it's different.
It's... it's...

You know?
Sometimes it takes multiple times

sometimes it takes multiple
treatment centers and interventions

and, you know,
relapse is... is a huge part

of... of many people's story.

You know?
It's all about being open about it

and telling on yourself,
and... and play the tape forward.

You know? We're... we're fond
of that phrase. It's just like...

Let me just take a minute
and see what's going to happen

if I go down that road again.

Is there anything

that you could be addicted to
that's good for you

like paying bills
or eating p*ssy or...

Yeah, I mean, listen...

workaholics, you know,
they're on the...

they're on the high end of...
of the spectrum.

You know? Everything in moderation

is probably a... a good measure.

There's mad
f*cking problems out here

and there's so many
levels of this sh*t

and I think we all just focus on
like drugs, alcohol, beer, cocaine...

- Brown b*tches.
- Brown b*tches, yes.

And then there's, like, these weirdly
universal addictions of, like...

we're all, like, addicted
to attention a little bit.

We're all just addicted
to the bullshit.

We're all screen-timing.

- To the dopamine hit?
- I feel like...

Yeah, the dopamine hit.

I feel like everybody like,
"Yo, I'm... I'm a little..."

they're a little addicted to, like,
the feeling something

- you know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.

Feeling f*cking something

and like, how the f*ck do you
figure out how to feel something?

And especially now

it seems like the easiest access
to feel sh*t

is just being on that f*cking phone
and catching a hit.

I disagree, though.
That's how you don't feel sh*t.

Nah, I feel like that's
how n*gg*s feel the quickest.

I don't know that it lasts,
but I feel like

they feel it the most.

- You feel something but it's like...
- It's like a slot machine.

- But it's...
- It doesn't last.

It's in... it's trying to get away
from the actual feeling.

It's just like, I'm going
to numb out and look...

But it is...
they built it to be exactly...

It fills some sh*t.

Yeah, you can't say...
You... you get the hit, like

there's a reason n*gg*s is on there

- doing the goofy sh*t they're doing.
- Oh, yeah.

- "I went viral!"
- But that's the same as...

- You get the hit.
- But that's the same reason

- You get the f*cking hit.
- you gamble, though.

- is to get that f*ck'
- Right, it's not...

- like dopamine hit.
- That's a...

that's an American mental condition.
It's a...

it's a thing of a life
that sets you up to chase

but we can't ignore that, like

now we have this whole access
to just chase that.

The fact that you got all these like,
white girls on TikTok

like, twerking in front of f*cking
George Washington Carver facts.

It's like, these hoes don't care

- they don't give a f*ck.
- No, they don't give a f*ck.

They just want the click,
they want the thing

and we've been feeding that
addiction, I think, for a long...

like... this weird addiction
to attention

that I feel like spirals
into everything

- Yeah.
- No, that's it. I'm not...

- Yeah, like drug Jay be drawn out.
- You're a crazy b*tch.

How many years were you
in reality television?

Let's say probably about ten.

- Yeah.
- Was that all

your production experience,
pretty much?

No, I've done production

in one way, shape or form,
for 20 years.

- Oh, okay.
- Yeah, I'm much older than I look.

And you're not still
in the business of...

No, I'm a mental health
therapist now.

- What a... what a switch.
- Yeah. I...

But smoother than you would think.

It's not that drastic

of a transition.

So when you're casting
those type of shows

what are you looking for in someone?

Bad Girls Club specifically, like...

what... more like...
the more high drama

- situations?
- Yeah.

Well, I didn't cast
either one of those shows

but I know people
who cast those shows.

And one of my friends said once

it was pretty spectacular,
I said, "How do you...

When there's thousands of people
wanting to be on the show

how do you pick seven?"

Because at one point

it was that's how it started,
with just seven people.

He said...

"You just put them all together

and you pick out the narcissist
in every group

and then you just...
they just kind of battle it out."

You just put all the narcissists
in one house?

So I guess that leads
to my question of, like...

and this would be
from the production end of it

how much of the... the drama
and the fighting is natural

and how much of it is production
turning the knobs to make it happen?

So I can only speak for the shows
that I produced and directed.

So there are definitely shows
where you can tell

that it's, you know,
these scenarios have been implanted

and then like, "You guys
are going to talk about this."

It's hot topic between these people,
and you know, a fight could ensue.

You just bring on,
you cast the right people

- and they'll do their thing.
- Just cast the right people

give them enough alcohol

- and they will...
- and they'll fight each other

- eventually.
- They will jockey for attention.

Right, attention.

That seems to be the... thing

that, like, everybody is running
to reality TV for now.

You have these franchise shows where
it's just plugging in certain people

and I think
that people really do amp things up.

They... they wanna be larger
than life

because they want
to have a following.

Shows like, especially like the...
like the Bad Girls Club

shows where they're like,
constantly drinking

and constantly fighting

and as a viewer,
you can clearly watch and be like

"This is terrible."

And I'm still guilty
because I'm watching

you know, but I'm like

"This is terrible."

How is it for you,
a person in the room?

You know, my saving grace was they...

you know, no one plucked them out
of their life and said

"You have to do this show."

They all voluntarily applied for it.

They've seen
every other season before.

They know
what to expect to an extent.

And so, you know, there are times
when, you know

they would go really wild

and that can stroke some sense of,
"I got to really prove myself.

- Yeah, and be a more...
- I've got to be a badass."

I got to be the badass

- 'cause I'm representing something.
- Well, I mean

it's called the Bad Girls Club

- Yes!
- so you're coming, you're coming

- to prove that you're
- Yeah.

- the baddest girl of them all.
- Yeah, the baddest b*tch.

Excuse me. They all want to be
the baddest b*tch.

It's weird, the addictions
we treat that...

Eventually, all we're going to do
is make legal and regulate...

Beer, cocaine.

It's like all this sh*t
that we be like

"Ah, this sh*t is the thing."

It's like, what are we doing?

And the thing we're not treating
is like a sickness.

- A real one.
- A sickness.

That's truly f*cking up our kids,
f*cking us up.

- It makes people do...
- It's bum.

Have you, like, spoke
to a 18-year-old, though, recently?

I had one on tour with me

so I'm only saying that like,
yo, it's different.

Like, the way they...
the way they think is just different.

My niece, I was like,
"What do you want to do"

and she was like,
"I want to be a influencer."

- Ooh, how old is your niece?
- Nasty words.

- She's f*cking, like, 18, 19.
- Nasty words bro.

- I said...
- But that's what

- they want to do at that age, man.
- I said, "Influencer?"

She was like, "Yeah."
I was like, "Of what?"

And she was like,
"Stuff," and I was like...

But what was worse to me was

- I could not argue with her.
- Nah.

- Couldn't do it.
- I could not argue with her.

I was like, "Okay," like...

Just, like, it is what it is, yeah.

That seems more realistic
to her than like...

Anything I'm selling,
anything I'm selling.

What does this generation
have to look forward to?

- They're f*cked. They're f*cked.
- Boom. There he goes.

- They have to do that.
- That's what I'm saying

- and so there's no...
- They got nothing.

There's no place for me to interject
and say you're wrong.

It's like,
I don't think you should do that

but n*gga, I... I'm 40.

It took me this long to be something.

- Yeah.
- She watches b*tches

who are two days away

from her who are millionaires,
so she's like, "You're dumb.

I'm going to go do this."

- "You're an idiot."
- Can't tell you nothing.

What are you talking about?

This is the first thing
I've ever seen addictive

that we're freely letting kids do.

- It's just... it's awful, dude.
- Where we're like...

- That's crazy. And like, kids go...
- That we're freely...

Where were freely...
That's what I'm saying

we're freely letting...

Look, I got a 14-year-old sister
who's like

on TikTok and doing TikToks

and like I've seen her sh*t
where she's like

"No one's following me.
What am I doing?"

- And I'm like, "You're 14."
- But that's what I'm saying.

Do you think overall as a society,
we're addicted to attention?

f*ck yeah.

I, you know, I think that you know

whenever we're growing up

there are certain things
that good parenting does for you.

It's supposed to create
a safe environment for you

you feel good about yourself

and I think that there's less
and less of that happening.

And so when you go on a reality show

you're getting millions
of eyes on you

and that can inflate your ego
in very bad ways

and it's not sustainable.

So you get people that keep trying
to find ways to inject

and insert themselves
in different scenarios

so they can keep that momentum going.

As far as where we are as a society

our addiction to attention

our addiction to watching
these people

who are addicted to attention

do you think this is curable
or reversible

or we're... we're here?

I think we're here.

I think we're here.

I think it would take a collective

you know, moment for us all to say

"Enough is enough.
This has gone too far."

You know, preventative care is not
what America's about, unfortunately.

It's about watching
the train go off the tracks

and then trying to piece everything
back together again.

So, you know, something horrible...

I think something horrible
would have to happen.

Have you... have you ever
experienced in your work

a moment where someone was like

"Hey, this isn't good
for this person"

or, "This is really unhealthy.

We're seeing this person, like,
really spiral out here.

Let's get them out of here
and, like, send them home"

or is it, like, roll the cameras
till they crash and burn?

It's pretty much roll the cameras
until they crash and burn.

I have seen a few moments

where, you know,
a couple of kids were just...

They were spiraling
and it wasn't a health...

They couldn't make good decisions
for themselves.

And so, you know, it has...
there have been a couple of times

where people will get sent home
but it's still extremely rare

because when people flip out,
that's good TV.

You know, having a big personality
and being reactive

that's what everybody knows
of every show.

You know
the most reactive personalities.

'Cause it's kind
of like making cigarettes.

It's like,
you know this is k*lling people.

At some point

don't the people who are pumping
the product have to go like

"Hey, this is something
we're not going to do"

or, "This is f*cked up?"

To an extent. I'm very much
into personal accountability.

You know,
how much are absolute strangers

supposed to be in charge
of what you decide to do?

You know yourself better
than I ever will

so you should be able
to know what your limits are

or the people in your circle
should know those limits

and you should be able
to have a conversation

and... and decide that.

You know, it's...
it's a hard question

that people need to...

or people need to answer

this question themselves

and they need to decide what their...

you know, what's the limit?

How far am I willing to go?

And unfortunately,
a lot of people are really willing

to go pretty damn far.

At some point,
it seems that with these shows

the intention gets lost

- Yeah.
- and then it's just about

the ratings and, you know,
keeping the show going.

Isn't it kinda like,
"Yo, pull the plug"

'cause I mean

- you can just make another show?
- Yeah.

But that's where capitalism comes in.

It's if... if it's still making money

they crank out another season.

I think that's it more than anything

is whatever's making money,
that's what continues.

Do you think like

TikTok, Instagram,
all these things, are like

reality TV's, like, aborted babies?

Absolutely

because you don't even have
to be on a TV show

to become a gazillionaire anymore.

You know,
you can just have this video

and then millions of people
look at it

and they pass it all over the place

and then now
you're a brand ambassador.

So, yeah, I think that

that's... that's the latest thing,
is the TikTok craze.

I got... I got one of them little...

one of them little vacuum cleaners
that just do their own thing.

- Roombas?
- A Roomba?

- It's that time...
- n*gga, that's not a flex.

Hey, ain't no right?

No, it's not.

No, if you own sh*t my mom owns,
it's not a flex, okay?

I mean, I... No... but it depends...

It do, though.

It depends on what you own
before that.

That's the whole thing
with owning sh*t.

A Dyson?

That's the whole thing
with owning sh*t.

And now I got this little n*gga that
just rolling around the house.

Yeah, yeah, you sweep up all day.

What are you talking about?
It was that time. It was...

- Yeah.
- It always feels good

- to buy some sh*t.
- It do.

It feels so good to go
in somewhere and be like...

- I like...
- I like to buy it and take it back.

"I like that sh*t.
Let me get that sh*t."

- I'm that type. It feels good.
- I love purchasing stuff.

Dude, I just,
I love purchasing stuff.

I love, like, I've always loved like,
antiques and vintage things

and stuff that like,
no one else will have...

- I love that.
- That I come over and I'm like

"Oh, look at that, no one else

- has that weird sh*t. I have it."
- I love that too.

I have it.

I'm a psycho
because I love all that sh*t.

Like, my range is crazy.

Like, I'll buy the new Prada sh*t
and I'll go buy the first Superman.

- I'm like, what's dope? What's dope?
- Yes!

I want all the sh*t!

- Why?
- I love...

- It's time. That sh*t's the word...
- I'll say to that, though...

that's the word for 2020.
"It's time."

On some real sh*t,
like, I thought about it

'cause I'm, like,
I'm growing as a person.

When... when is it, bro?

And I don't...
I don't know what it is

but it's the only thing in my life
that feels addictive.

It's the only thing in my life
that feels like an addiction

and I do a lot of sh*t, bro.

I drink a lot, I smoke a lot

I'll f*ck with Molly,
I'll go here, I'll go here

but that sh*t,
my sh*t with stuff is like...

Sometimes it feels gross.

When I was broke as f*ck
and didn't have sh*t

I would go hungry to buy a Prada hat.

- Yup.
- Two, three weeks

like, I'm broke, n*gga.

I'm... living off fumes

but I'm going to get this hat

and then I'm going
to shut everything down, n*gga.

I'm going to shut everything down.

When I step out of this bucket,
it's going to be crazy.

But then I'll put the bucket on
and step out and be like

"Bro, I'm still hungry, though."

- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.

- I don't know if this feels great.
- But it motivated you.

You looked great while going
to get your...

- the sh*t that you was going for.
- Yeah.

- You know what I mean?
- But it didn't curve it

'cause now I'm at the goal,
and I just buy more sh*t

and that's what's scary to me.

That's the part of it
why I'm like, damn.

- Shopping is an addiction, though.
- Is this addictive?

If I had to think about
something being addictive

it's this,
because I also lie about it.

- It's the only thing I lie about.
- Oh, then that's...

That's the only thing I lie about.

I'll... I'll lie about
what I spent on something.

I'll lie about like,
"Oh, nah, I didn't...

it wasn't that much," but I know

- how much it f*cking was.
- Yes. Okay.

Or I f*cking hide sh*t from my girl

like, I don't want her to see
that I bought sh*t.

- Like, I... I do...
- Underneath other sh*t.

I got mad sh*t.

- Just like people hide Amazon boxes.
- I got mad sh*t.

So I do... I do funny sh*t for stuff.

- Okay.
- I do funny sh*t

and it's definitely been times,
even in the last four or five years

where I've been making money

where it's like,
I'm waiting for some checks

and it's not wise
to buy this right now

- I'mma to buy that sh*t.
- Do they text you

when they have new inventory?

- Sometimes.
- Oh, yeah, you got it bad.

- I got a few n*gg*s.
- They only ask

- for certain n*gga's phone numbers.
- I got a few n*gg*s.

And when they start texting you

- they send you photos.
- I got a... Versace...

Everybody got hoes.

I got a Versace n*gga,
I got Louis Vuitton n*gga.

They be like, "There's new
swim trunks," and I'm like...

Sam, I didn't even tell you this,
but...

By proxy,
a watch n*gga has been hitting me up.

I'm like, "No, I just beat with Sam."

Don't be this.
I'm a... I'm a lame-a*s n*gga.

- Tell him, hit me up.
- I'mma ride my bike

- touch the grass a*s n*gga.
- Tell him, hit me up.

Like, I remember I was talking
to my business manager

and he's a n*gga that's always like,
"You buy too much stuff"

and I'm good, but he's like,
"n*gga, I want you to be great

and you buy too much stuff."

So we had this whole talk this year
about my budget

about where I was as a person

we went through it, and he was like,
"Yo, cut down on the jewelry."

Like, we had room.
Like, "Don't buy this. Don't do that.

You be splurging.

You're good,
but you would be a lot better

and if the things you want are real,
you got to do this."

And I was like, "Yo, I seriously want
to be a homeowner."

And that's real for me.
Owner of something

'cause I... I've never been that.

I'm a kid that f*cking grew up
in the projects in apartments.

That's all I know.

So I never had my own sh*t,
and I was displaced.

My mom died,
my dad died, I was an orphan

I lived with mad n*gg*s,
I was just f*cked up a lot.

So for me, if I always had
a spot that was mine

boy, that would mean so much

so he's making the plan
for me to have that.

And he's like, "In order to do this,
you have to cut back on the splurging

you have to cut back
on the big purchases

of senseless things.
You have a lot of clothes

you don't need this,
you don't need that."

And I looked at this n*gga,
I was like, "Yes, Scott, correct.

- I will do that. You make..."
- Whoa, Scott who? Scott who?"

We'll do that later.

I was fixing to say, nah,
we might have the same one.

I was like, "Yes, Scott, correct.

I will do that, bro.
You f*cking got it."

I hung up the phone

I went online

it had to be an hour

and I bought a Gucci North Face.

Dude, you are scared.

Had to be an hour

- and I was like...
- You are scared.

this sh*t fire, though.

What's the reinforcement
when you buy something?

- When you get it
- When you do it.

and like, people are like,
"That's nice."

What... what is the point?

- Nah, it's reinforced.
- It's nice to me.

- It's nice to me.
- It... it feels like...

It's never even
about no n*gg*s saying it

it's just like, I caught that sh*t.

I got that sh*t.
And it's art... and it's...

- It's like I got it, boy. What?
- The way you're explaining it...

And it's hard, boy.

But it's like the way
you're explaining it

is it sounds to me
as someone who does self-sabotage

it sounds like self-sabotage.
You want this thing

and all you got to do is just stop
spending money on the things

and you... you can't do it

'cause if you get that goal,
then what?

And I feel like that's a thing
with a lot of artists

is like, "We get the goal"

- and then we're like, then what?
- I don't know if it's that.

As much as it's like...

it's deeper and more psychotic
'cause what it is for me is like

if I'm a real-a*s n*gga

I should be able
to have all that sh*t.

- I should be able to have my coat
- Everything I want, yeah.

my f*cking crib, all that sh*t.

If this coat... if this coat's
going to keep me from the crib

then I didn't... I wasn't
the n*gga that earned a crib.

Then what?
You got everything you wanted.

- Seriously, yeah.
- Seriously, though...

That'd be my dumbass logic, too.

The way that you're feeling
when you get this thing

and you're like,
"I got that, I got that."

Is there anything else that you
can feel that way about, so you...

Nothing's ever
felt better in my life.

- Nothing in your life?
- Since I was a kid...

Since I... put on my first pair
of Patrick Ewings

and showed up to school
the day them shits came out

and crushed n*gg*s.

Nothing's felt better in my life.

Leah, would you like to share?

Sure.

- So, I'm Leah, I'm an alcoholic.
- Hi, Leah.

And I would've been sober

for three months last Friday,
but a few days before

- whenever my parents came to town...
- Yeah...

My name is Sam

and I'm here
because I'm addicted to stuff

expensive stuff, extravagant stuff

disposable jeans, I love it all.

But more importantly

I'm here to shed
the stigma and the shame

that comes with going to rehab.

I'm here to inspire you.

Don't be ashamed that you are here

'cause we should all be here.

We are all addicts.

You, with crack, and me
with whatever the hell I want

because I'm rich,
and I refuse to try crack.

No offense.

There are all these studies that say
how many drinks

a woman's supposed to have in a day

but there are no studies that say

how many TikToks you can post
before your soul is gone.

We're all just too afraid to admit

- we have problems.
- Ma'am...

this is a closed meeting.

- Clearly, you're drunk.
- Yes

but that's not my problem.

The real problem is that
this group is closed

in the first place.

Closed to the public

closed to our hearts

closed-minded to the true meaning
of addiction.

Whether they be to alcohol,
shopping, or thotting on TV

wouldn't exist if there wasn't
a market propping them up.

And until we acknowledge that,
we're all a part of that scam

that ruse, that long con

and we'll never be free
of the shackles of shame.

This drunk lady's right

for I too have an addiction

and my addiction
is eating a*s with Colman Domingo.

The show. He's not a friend

although I wish he would be.

I thought I ruined my life.

I don't speak to my wife.

I don't speak to my kids.

All I do is watch this guy travel
around foreign places

interviewing strangers.

You have no idea
how they eat a*s in Greece

and when they're done,
they break plates and say, "Opa!"

Anyway, I ain't ashamed no more.

I can't wait for next week

'cause they're traveling
to New Zealand

to eat a*s with the Maori warriors.

I have one last question.

Why do they have to be naked
and afraid?

- Isn't one bad enough?
- It seems like it.

- Who the f*ck does that?
- White people.

I know, right?

Whenever I see somebody black
on there, I'm like...

- Right, they're sus.
- We're going to revoke your card.

They're sus. It doesn't happen often.

- It does not happen often.
- That looks like t*rture.

It is insane, but that is my sh*t.

Naked and Afraid is my sh*t.

I like that survival sh*t.

I'm a country girl, and I feel like

if you threw me somewhere

I'd come out, like, fatter

and stronger, with, like

- some, like, bear suit on.
- For real?

- Yeah. I like dirty.
- All right.

sh*t.