01x10 - There Was a Young Shark

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music]

[in French]

[exhales sharply]

[beeps]

[in English]
Yeah?

Toto, I need a favor.

I can't do it, man.

I can't get in the building,
I don't know why.

It's like my files have been
erased during the night.

Jesus, man, it's...

It's unfortunate.

Wait.

You know about this?

What?

No.

Toto?

I know nothing! Ingeborg
didn't tell me

anything about
Michel firing you!

Why are you mentioning Ingeborg?

What?

I don't remember that.

Is she plotting something?

You got to let me in, okay?

[suspenseful music]

Okay,
but it's not because I like you

that's because I feel terrible

about that fake tabling
desk episode, okay?

The fake what?

-What?
-The fake what?

Dude man...

The fake...?

I'm gonna be down in five.

Down in five.

[exhales sharply]

[gibbers]

[in French]

[in English]
We did it, Ma'am.

Hi. I still need you
to sign me off today.

Oh, yeah, of course, pet.

Just packing away
a few things, you know.

I've always loved Strasbourg.

People talk about waste,

but there's a whole
second Parliament

that nobody ever uses.

[giggles]

Is that a signed photo
of the Queen?

Yeah. Not by her Maj.
It's a gift from Nigel.

-Right.
-Don't want any flags, do you?

-I seem to have plenty.
-No.

I won't need them.

I thought about it,
but there are so many there.

Yeah.

So, it's just this one
little signature.

I know, what about

a farewell drink this afternoon?
Like a cup of coffee?

To say goodbye would be nice,
wouldn't it?

-I'll sign it then.
-Okay.

Great. Lovely.
A drink. Good, good.

-Rose?
-Yes?

Weren't you wearing
the same clothes yesterday?

No, I don't think so.

-You don't think so?
-No, I don't. Bye.

I don't know, do I want them?
No. Just chuck them...

Sorry, sorry, love.

[tense music]

Hey, thanks, man.

Really, thanks.

[chuckles]

I owe you.

Just buy me leather stuff.
I like that.

[laughs]

World Wurst Festival!

How is this guy
allowed and not me?

It's the World Wurst Festival.

The entire Parliament waits
for it all year.

-What? I've never heard of it.
-Yeah.

Maybe it's not
the entire Parliament,

maybe it's mainly the Germans.

-It's actually just the Germans.
-Michel?

[dramatic music]

-He's taking the piss.
-Just go!

[panting]

[in French]

[sighs]

[clicks tongue]

[playful music]

[door opens and closes]

[in English]
Is that working?

Can you hear me?

Do you want to jump
over to Skype?

No, we don't use Skype.
It's a competitor.

Yeah. No. It's good.

-Connection's great.
-Just give me a second.

Sorry, I'm just downloading

a BitTorrent of sex-positive,
female-directed p*rn*graphy.

It was eating up my bandwidth.
I just canceled that.

Good.

I can't tell if you're joking.
[laughs]

Let's change the topic.

I'm really excited
to get out there.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow, wow!

I mean, Rose,

we've been saying f*ck, yeah
about you coming

all freaking past week.

In celebration, we've been
micro-dosing like crazy.

When I was with my masseuse
last week,

I thought
I didn't have your Insta.

Yeah.

I need that.
You have that, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Um...

I'll send you the details, soon.

The details?

Yeah, my log name.

I can't... I've lost you again.

Can you hear me?

-What were you saying?
-Yes, so anyway,

After our little pow-wow
over the bonfire last week...

-What does that mean?
-..we discussed your salary,

We think it's a good offer.

So we can just send
you the contract

and we're good-good-good to go.

Great. Perfect.

I guess I could just scroll down

to the bottom
and click "Accept".

Rose...

-Yeah?
-We don't joke about privacy

here at Facebook, so...

Yeah, of course.

Of course.

Okay. Bye.

Bye.

Wow. Just a joke.

[instrumental music]

[in French]

[suspenseful music]

[in English]

Don't bother this guy,
he has a lot of troubles.

[in French]

[instrumental music]

[in English]
One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven, eight,

nine, ten.

[exhales]

Lovely.

Where is it you're going again?

Something with Internet phones?

-Facebook.
-Of course.

Will you thank them

from me for all they did
for the Brexit campaign?

We couldn't have done
it without them.

And what they did for Trump?

Terrific job!

Yeah, I'll pass it on.

I just want to say
thank you again.

I appreciate you
signing me off early.

It's the least I can do,
isn't it?

I don't know what I would've
done without you.

[laughs]

I can't believe it.
We tore the place down!

-Didn't we, Rose?
-Did we?

I think everybody did their bit.

You know, it's like

a little butterfly
will flap his wings

here, in the Parliament,

and on the other side
of the world,

hundreds and hundreds
and hundreds die.

Right, but

History doesn't blame
the butterfly for that.

The butterfly just does her job.

Yeah. It's funny, though.

You dedicate your whole life
to something and...

[sighs]

The funny thing is, I suppose,

what's worse than not getting
what you want?

Sometimes,
it's getting what you want.

Yeah. So...

Well.

-I guess this is it.
-Yes.

I'm gonna miss you, pet.

Oh!

I'm honestly surprised to say:

I'm gonna miss you too, Sharon.

I guess there's something
I can do

here, in the Parliament.

I could always help somebody...

maybe keep the UK away?

Yeah.

I'm sure they'd like that.

There we go.

Thank you.

-It's great.
-Just one thing.

Give your hand.

Love you!

-I do!
-You're a good one.

[lively music]

[in French]

[in English]
Hey, hi.

What are you doing here?

[in Spanish]

[in French]

[in English]

How's it going?

Not good.
We don't have the majority.

I got to postpone
the vote at 7:50 pm

cos the president
won't stay after 8 pm,

but it won't be enough.

I'm sorry.

Weren't you wearing the same
clothes yesterday?

[in French]

[in English]
What are you doing?

Just a memory.

I really need to pad
out my Instagram.

But I refuse to take
pictures of food.

Nice.

[in French]

[in English]
Hello, sir, the sharks.

-You're good.
-Yeah? I don't know.

[clears throat]

-Friend request. Guess who?
-Torsten?

Yeah.

It's the entire time
we've known each other.

[chuckles]

[in French]

[in English]
Have you done the shark thing

this whole time?

No, I've done a lot
of other things.

Like what?

Like...

Try to make you like me.

-And I sort of managed.
-Sort of.

Very almost.

[in French]

[in English]
And now you're leaving.

And the amendment is as dead
as the sharks I didn't save.

In fifteen minutes,

it will all be over.

Oh, it's the sausage fest.

Okay, you don't care.

No, Toto's just posted that.

Is that why the president
wants to leave at eight?

He's German, no?

Yeah.

Did I say something
very offensive?

Well, yes, but it's about
the Germans, so it's okay.

[in French]

[in English]
If the Germans

want to leave at eight,

that's when you want
the vote to happen.

What?

How do you win a vote if you
have the majority against you?

You get a large chunk
of your opponents

to not vote.

-Okay.
-Trump taught us that.

-Oh, right. Hello.
-Hi. Sharks.

-Yes, right?
-Yeah.

It's so great
to have an evil friend.

Yeah!

[in French]

[in English]
Save the sharks.

I love you.

-As a friend.
-Yes.

I appreciate that. As a friend.

-Okay.
-The sharks!

How will you fill
those ten minutes?

[instrumental music]

[speaking in foreign language]

[in German]

[in English]
Oh, sh*t, they're on time.

We're next on the agenda.

Ten minutes till the Germans
leave. If they do.

-Yeah. But I have a plan.

[in German]

[in English]
Is that your plan?

Have Cornelius
make a point of order?

That's gonna buy a few
minutes max.

-Will it?
-If I could make a...

point of

order at this stage.

My God, you're going to hell,
you know that?

You gotta do what you gotta do.

..of the rules of this...

Parliament.

I would like to come...

I would like to come...

We'll still need five
more minutes.

Yeah, maybe

some will have a change of heart
and vote differently.

I don't think that ever happens.

At least, you understand
how Parliament works.

Yeah, right before I get fired.

Thank you for your

attention.

[in German]

[suspenseful music]

[speaking in German]

[in English]
Here it goes!

[in German]

[in English]
Excuse me.

[in German]

[in French]

[in German]

[in French]

[dramatic music]

[indistinct chatter]

[chuckles]

[in English]
Hey.

Hey.

You think
it's the time for this?

I don't think you can eat here.

This isn't for eating.

This is for luring.

Are you gonna stake the future
of sharks on the stereotype

-that Germans love sausages?
-Look!

[laughs]

He's leaving.

I didn't think that would work.

It's working.

Is it us?

[in French]

[indistinct chatter]

[in English]

Okay... How many do we need?

[in French]

[in English]

-Thank you.
-No food is allowed in here.

-I know.
-Come with me, please.

[giggles]

-Yeah, okay. Sure.
-See you later.

-Please!
-What?

I didn't...

I was the one with the sausages.

You have to go.

He's fine, I'll go.

[light music]

[in German]

[in French]

[cheering]

[in English]

-That's... Whoa!
-Yes, sorry.

I'm gonna see
the press conference.

Yes, go.

[exhales]

Eamon?

[in French]

[laughs]

[dramatic music]

[dramatic music continues]

[in English]

-You don't have any luggage?
-Shut up!

[giggling]

-Alright.
-Yeah.

Are we going to stay in touch?

Yeah, I mean if...

You've got Instagram?
I'm kind of a big deal

-on Instagram now.
-I've heard.

[car honks]

Yes.

Right.

Yeah.

Okay.

We'll stay in touch. Yeah.

And remember, before I go,

you're not an arsehole, Samy,

you're just trying
so hard to be.

Is that from The Social Network?

Yes, I watched it.

I couldn't think of anything
cool to say.

-Quite cool.
-Yeah.

I think... so.

One last try?

Sure.

Okay.

[giggles]

I was just...

I was doing three.

Yeah.

It's actually two here.

I know. It's just...

I was doing a little

-one specifically for you.
-Okay.

So...

-Okay!
-Yeah.

Bye.

Bye.

[door closes]

You should run after her.

No, it's too humiliating.

I'm gonna text her
that I love her

as soon as she's gonna
be out of reach.

Okay.

Rose, Rose!

Don't go!

They're postponing Brexit.

Theresa May said
it's not happening yet.

It's a scandal.

[laughs]

I'm so angry.

We're not taking
back control yet.

[suspenseful music]

[suspenseful music continues]