02x08 - The Forbidden City

[bunniefuu]

No, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no!

She's going to flip out about this?

Is that true?

She sent a few emails, but...

Why didn't you say anything?

I did, but you said she would
tire of it.

I'm talking! I'm talking! Shut up!

Shut up!

I'm talking!

PARLIAMENT

This is a sailing boat that
doesn't consume hydrocarbons.

We hope the Parliament

will use it as inspiration
for future legislation.

Alternatives exist.
This is the proof.

Your boat is magnificent.

Magnificent! It's superb!

But... it's too small for me.

I couldn't possibly fit in the cabin.

-Gentlemen.
-Mr. President.

Hello.

-Oh, Samy!
-What?

-You scared me.
-Excuse me.

-You don't know what they did.
-What?

They made me president!

Yes, I see that.
Congratulations, by the way.

Seems like
you can get it easily here.

Oh, yeah, getting in is no problem.

It's getting out that's impossible.

Look. We're surrounded by water.

It's a fortress.

Yeah. But it's a nice office.
There's even...

Did you know that when people
give me gifts,

they take them from me.

A Japanese delegation
that was really nice

gave me a silk kimono.
I never even got to put it on.

Same with the Kazakhs
and the tea set.

OK... Michel, I need your help.

Remember the finning amendment?

The finning amendment. Michel!

The finning amendment.
That's all we did.

You don't remember it?

You don't remember it at all?

-Yeah?
-Finning.

OK. Well, there's a German woman,
a German MP, who...

Mr. Specklin?

Come, come...

Get in there! Be quiet!

I'm claustrophobic.

Mr. Specklin?

Yes?

Mr. Specklin.

The boat.

Yeah. Listen,
I don't know where it is.

Mr. Specklin.

I swear. I lost it. It's not here.
Someone stole it.

Yeah?

Then, we'll look.

I don't really like boats anyway.

Oh yeah?

No. I prefer the mountains,

walking in the woods.

I love that. I really do.

Well, well!

Look at that!

These are official gifts.

They belong to the Parliament.

I know you're keeping my gifts
for yourself.

Close call.

He almost caught you. You were lucky.

I know. Michel, you have to help me.

-I need you to--
-But we can't escape.

Don't you understand?
I've tried everything!

Look.

Look at this! Look.

What is that?

You see? I've calculated everything.
I need ten more feet.

Unless we bring Serbia and Turkey
into the Union,

we'll never make it to the ground!
Never!

Yes. OK.

When I suggested it,
they all came down on me.

They even cut off my Internet.

Michel, what's on the terrace
over there?

That's even worse.

It leads directly to
the Secretary General's office.

He's mean, too. He's German.

Everyone on this floor is German.

OK, come on, Michel!

They'll catch us.
They'll be very upset.

Michel, trust me. Come on.

Mr. Specklin?

Mr. Specklin, you...

sh*t!

-Come on, Michel!
-This way, Samy!

Come on!

Oh, boy!

East wing.

-This way. We have no choice.
-No, Michel, Michel, Michel!

Come on, Samy!

It's like in Aladdin, when
he falls from the balcony

and Jasmine falls on the magic carpet

and she is really impressed and...

-Come on, Michel!
-It hasn't changed. It's incredible!

It's only been four months.

Let's go!

It felt like seven or eight years.

No, come on! Let's go!

-Look at this. Mailboxes.
-Yeah?

Let's see if my name is still there.

Yeah, we'll do that later.
We need to talk to that deputy, OK?

-Look! How funny!
-Yeah, it is funny.

Come on. Let's take a photo
for Bertrand.

-OK, come on.
-Just one selfie.

It will make him laugh, the poor guy.

I'm going to take a photo.

He's in Luxembourg, in a parking lot.
Can you imagine?

Smile!

That's it. Do you like it?

Damn it.

Come here.

Come here!

-Where are we, Michel?
-Don't worry about it.

We have to find a German MP

to talk to her about the Blue Deal.
It's urgent.

-That's fine. This way.
-God damn it.

Come, come.

-I don't think they saw us.
-I don't think so.

Michel, Michel, we need to change
our appearances.

-Yeah, good idea. Disguise ourselves.
-OK.

That's what we're saying,

that we need to reject
the neoliberal status quo

and this kind of oligarchy...

Hello.

It's all about finance.

Exactly.

You're doing this really well.

The jargon, the tone, all of it.

I practiced with my ex.

No, I'm saying that we've had enough
of capitalism

and getting bludgeoned with taxes.

Let's get out of here!

Yes?

-We lost him.
-sh*t!

-I called for reinforcements.
-No, no!

No, he can't know.

If people find out we're playing
"Jason Bourne",

we'll lose all credibility!

Let's try to think.

To think...

like a Frenchman.

If you were French...

where would you be?

To bed!

With my mistress!

-To a cheese shop!
-Gunter!

Yes!

Yes... Yes!

The president of the Commission
for the president of the Parliament?

Send him up.

Of course!

He's very pleased.

I can't tell you how pleased he is!

Michel, the most important thing
is that you make them understand

that you're the boss.

-No problem.
-OK.

OK. This is it.

Wait.

Feels good to get the band
back together, huh?

Yeah.

-Come on, Michel. Let's get to it!
-Yeah.

Yes?

-You didn't tell me.
-What?

-She's not bad.
-Who? Really?

Ma'am.

Mr. President.

Call me Michel.

Oh, Knut.

Those are her grandchildren.

Michel, should we talk about
the Blue Deal?

Oh, they're so cute.

Is she married?

Because I don't see a Mr. Gesine
in these photos.

-Ask about Mr. Gesine...
-Yeah, but...

Thanks.

Thank you very much.

-This is the last one, Michel, OK?
-Sure.

Tell her that that building
is the Council of Europe.

It's a funny story.

It has nothing to do with
the European Council.

I think she knows, Michel.

No, tell her. It'll make her laugh.

-She knows, Michel.
-Oh yeah?

Hello?

There we go.

Martin?

Yes?

-Let's go.
-What?

Yeah.

It's time, OK?

-I haven't said goodbye.
-You'll see her again, OK?

We'll find a way. Let's go!

Yes!

Thanks for everything, Samy.

You're like my Peter Pan.

I always thought of myself
as Aladdin,

though, right now I feel like

I'm turning into Yago.

You know? He's the... toucan.

Will you come back to see me?

Yes.

You know, sometimes I feel...

like the Council of Europe.

Like everybody's confusing me
with somebody

I don't even know.

Yes, Valentine.

Yeah, it's great!

No, I'm happy too.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a long...

Yeah, I'll tell you later.

Me too. I'm really happy.

That b*stard.

No, nothing.

Yeah, it's great.

I just saw a... I'll call you back.