01x04 - Everybody Loves Julia

[bunniefuu]

The following programme
contains strong language,

violence, and scenes of
a sexual nature.

'Farrow?'
Yes, ma'am.

'I just got Jackson Pollocked.
Suspect opened a-'

'People I'd love to k*ll...'

'Don't suppose you could
pop into Next

'and buy me a top on your way in?'
'The DI,

'for calling me
at inappropriate times,

'asking me to do
inappropriate things.'

No man-made fibres, ma'am.

'My landlady,

'for having a bath
every f*cking morning.'

Mrs Wheeler!

Um, the water was cold again.

Gosh, I'm sorry.

Perhaps you should try
waking up a touch earlier,

ensure you get some.

'Whoever let these jokers
join the police.'

'I took a video, cos I thought,
I'm probably first on the scene.'

'Make sure you get DNA evidence-'

'Witnesses who've listened
to too many true crime podcasts.'

'Cause of death looks
like loads of stabbing.'

'And, of course,

'people who think they can
actually k*ll people...

'..and get away with it.'

♪ CHINCHILLA: Do You See Me Now ♪

♪ Swallow my tongue,
back of my throat

♪ Like it's finite

♪ Only so long I can chew
till I choke

♪ Hide in plain sight

♪ What have you done? My rabbit run

♪ Caught in the headlights

♪ And I'm bigger now

♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh

♪ So say my name
like I'm ten feet tall

♪ Bow your head like I'm royal

♪ And every day that I get older

♪ Bow your head like I'm royal

♪ I guess my blood's
running colder ♪

What the f*ck?

This is actually a kidnapping.

You're doing a kidnapping!

Well... it was meant to be a m*rder,

but... once again, you have
to go and ruin everything.

Rhiannon, please!

Rhi.

You're clearly going through
something 'cos of your dad.

So, why don't I get out of your hair

and... you can call
the Samaritans or something?

Are you taking the piss?

We were kids! It was a joke!
A joke?

You bullied me until
I started pulling my hair out.

That was years ago, Rhiannon!

We're adults now.
You need to get over it.

It's not healthy
being so stuck in the past.

I wore a wig...

until I was 23!

Rhiannon-
I'm stuck here...

because of you.

You did this!

You made me feel
f*cking invisible, Julia.

And I stayed in this town,
in this house,

because of you and now you're trying
to take that away from me, too.

I don't care about
your sh*t life, you-

You're f*cking done, Julia.

This is just like you, Rhi.

Stop it.
Stop what?

I'm not the one playing out
some dramatic kidnap fantasy.

You're a m*rder*r now,
a serial k*ller.

f*ck off!

Actually, to be a serial k*ller you
have to have k*lled three people,

and I've only k*lled two, so-
This is weird, Rhiannon.

Why are you so f*cking weird?

You're not a victim.

You're a f*cking loser

who blames everyone else
for your sh*t life.

f*ck!

You just can't stand that my life is
actually good and you have nothing!

k*lling me won't change that. Wait!
I'll deal with you later.

I'm not a loser.

f*cking hell!

f*ck off! That's 3,000 a week!
Get your sh*t together.

Craig, I need to speak to you.

Oh, Rhiannon. Hi.

f*cking- What are you doing?

Now!
Oh-h*-h*-h*!

Look, about last night...

What about it?
You flirting with Julia

or you helping to
sell my house out from under me?

I had no idea that you
didn't know about the house.

Who said you could put
your shirt back on?

Sit.

Woah!

You like Julia?

Ow!

Argh!
Shut up.

My f*cking God!

Oh.
Look at me.

What... Rhi!

f*ck!

Agh!

You're so f*cking hot!
Shh!

Craig, look at me!

Look at me! Look at me!
Look at me!

Look at me!

Rhi, that was magical.

Yeah.

I actually feel quite emotional.

Oh, f*ck!

Uh...

When can I see you again?

When I say you can.

Alright.

Hi, Seren, it's me. Just wondering

when you were gonna tell me
that you agreed an offer with Julia

to buy Dad's house. If you could
stop pretending that I don't exist,

that would be great. Thanks!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I make you uncomfortable?

Morning.

Morning.

Ooph! Oh!

Just working on the old dexterity.

Got a bit of a weak grip.
I've got a scoop for you.

People tend not to say 'scoop'
in the real world, sweetpea.

They say 'lead' or 'exclusive'.

It's about the murders.

- Jeff!
- I'm not telling you what
it is unless you promote me.

Junior reporter, like AJ.

What's going on?
She wants to be a junior reporter.

We both know I deserve it.

Well, I'm not sure
we are there just yet, sweetpea-

You would never have gotten
the real Ryan story without me.

- Ay?
- You know that.
I know you'll love this one.

It's bigger than a double m*rder.

And The Telegram haven't got
a whiff of it yet.

You don't need two junior reporters,
Norman. One's bad enough.

Trial period, probationary.

- What?
- OK?
This is blatant box-ticking.

I mean... people wonder why
white men are so depressed.

I'm sorry-If it makes you
that sad, Jeff,

you can take a personal day.

Uh-uh-uh! Not so fast.

Story first.

Missing woman. Think she could
be our third victim.

Come off it!
That's such a tenuous link.

And if it was a missing person,
I'd know about it.

I know people, police people,
so, yeah, I'd know about it.

Not if the police
don't know about it yet.

Who's your source?

Yeah! Good one, Jeff.

You go write it!

Junior reporter.

Norman, can we just talk about this?

Should you be doing that?

You're a reporter now.

I hope it doesn't end up being one
of those Hunger Games-type scenarios

where you and I have to fight
to the death in a bid to survive.

Uh, you'll be alright.

Heard there's a job
going on reception now.

I'm happy for you.

Thanks.
You really wanted this.

Caught that vibe
the first time we met.

And there's something about you.

And anyway, um,
the second m*rder victim,

bit of a tosser, apparently.
Local landlord.

Uh, two-bed flats with, like,


Evicted a single mum
and her newborn,

so he could exploit
a load of immigrants.

I'm thinking we have, like,
a vigilante on our hands,

like, a kind of murdery
Robin Hood kind of thing.

You do? That's...

That's a pretty cool take.

But do you...
Do you think it's any good?

I mean, if it's true, then,

yeah, I think it's cool.

Cool. Well, maybe
I'll pitch it to Norman.

Hmm. Maybe I'll get you
a third m*rder victim.

What?

'Cos I, uh... I think I found one.

Yeah, I'll... I'll let you know.

OK.

Um...

Quiz at The Bell later?

Yeah, sure.
Oh, it's on me.

And I'll just do the rest of these.

It's good practice for...

reception.

Yeah! Boo! Paperwork.

Just chuck it in the bin.

Yeah, just so many dead ends
to work through.

I can give it to someone else if
it's too inconvenient for you.

Not at all. I love it.

Love paperwork. Love it!

It's just...
I think it's a dead end.

Uh, DS Sager and I spoke
to everyone at the club

and no one saw anything.

I was hoping to go join the others
at the second crime scene.

Rory said something about a witness
mentioning some laddy lads.

Did you look into that?
Yeah. I just didn't think

being 'laddy' qualified
as much of a motive, ma'am.

That's not what I asked.
I need facts, DC Farrow,

and you're giving me
your interpretation, so...

Go back through the CCTV,
look into it.

Focus on your task.

Oh, and I got a few more
for you from the second victim.

Bit dry for my tastes.

Read them all.

Right! Let's do this, team.

These are the cases
podcasts are made of.

'Hello?'
Hi, it's Rhiannon.

'Oh, my God, Rhiannon!'
All OK?

'No one's seen Julia
since yesterday.'

Wow! Oh, my God, wow! So...

She just didn't come home?

sh*t!

No, I know. I mean...

Yeah, I would be, too.

Well, you know, um,
I actually work at The Gazette.

No, I just got promoted,
actually, so...

Uh, I could speak to my editor,

maybe write a piece
about Julia's disappearance?

Draw attention to it.

You know, the first 24 hours
are the most vital.

OK, great. Yeah, no, uh...

Yeah, that- that sounds good.

So, I'll, uh... I'll see you there?

Great! OK. Uh, bye.

Uh, going to meet
some contacts for the story.

Yes!

Who knew, eh?

So, uh... what made you think that
something was wrong with Julia?

She hasn't posted
a story in 17 hours.

Like, not even a meme.
It is really unlike her.

She's not responded
on the group chat either

and she's such a quick texter.
Yeah, that is... concerning.

And then Marcus said
she didn't come home last night.

Honestly, that's
the most worrying thing.

They do everything together.
He came to my hen do!

They're so sweet together.
Hm!

Sounds like
the perfect relationship.

No problems whatsoever.

You know, it pretty much is.

It's actually kind of sickening.
What about other areas of her life?

Is she worried about anything?

Under pressure at work?
Wedding stress?

Mm... No.

Well, did she have any enemies?

Is there anyone that might
have wanted to harm her?

What? No.

Everyone loves Julia.

Sorry, why are you asking that?

Oh, just, uh... context, really.

People love to know the details,
the worse the better, so...

if you can think of anything...

Look at you!

Being all... reportery.

Well, you know, just...
doing my job, really.

It's great to see you
doing so well now.

I know things were... hard...

at school.

Mm! Not that hard.

No. I mean, doesn't
everyone think...

school is hard?

This is really nice.
Yeah.

Well, no, 'cos our friend
is missing.

But... I mean catching up.

We should go for drinks.
You seem, like, really fun now.

Oh!

Yeah. I am.

Yeah.

Boom! What are you up to?

Just playing "Where's Wally?"
with a bunch of rugby lads.

- What?
- I'm following up on the
Rhiannon Lewis statement.

She said she saw some dodgy lads
the night of Ryan Lloyd's m*rder.

Oh, the one whose dog died.
- Mm.
- Oh.

I don't know if I'd go out
the night my dog died,

but then again, grief affects
us all differently.

Yeah... Sweet girl.

Yeah, I've got three more hours
of this-What about them there?

I'll leave you to it, then.

That's for you by the way.
Uh-huh.

Yeah, really scary.

Hi.
Hi, Marcus.

I'm Rhiannon Lewis.
I work at The Gazette.

Julia's friends got in touch.

Right, uh... how can I help?

I'm writing a piece
about Julia's disappearance.

Raise awareness to help
try to find her...

Please, come on in.

Uh, can I get you a cup of tea?
- Coffee?
- Great, yeah. Thanks.

I like your home. It's...

very modern.

Yeah, no, this is Julia's
favourite type of architecture.

When we first bought the place,
it was just completely soulless,

but she really put her mark on it.

She made a whole Pinterest board
just on couches, and...

...I made fun of it, but now I...

I can't stop looking
at that couch wondering,

"Is she ever gonna sit there again?"

Um, so, why don't you tell me
what's happened?

She's just never done
anything like this before, you know.

She always replies
to my texts, and, um...

Until last night, and then
she didn't come home. I just...

Ugh! I just don't know
what to do, you know?

What do people do
in these situations?

I just feel so f*cking useless.

Sorry.

So, what did you do?

Well, when I couldn't
reach her around seven,

I, um... I checked Find My Friends.

And that was turned off and...

We're always able to reach
one another, you know?

And you don't know where
she could have gone?

She said she had no plans
last night?

We go through our plans
every morning.

She said she was coming
straight home after work.

She gets off at 6:45.

And how have things
been between you?

Are you happy? Is she happy?

Any... secret drinking problems
or anything?

I know you have to ask that
question. It's just- No, no...

We're- We're fine.
We're good, you know?

And, um...

Have you...

reported her disappearance
to the police yet?

Um...

Yeah, first thing this morning.

I would have done it last night,
it's just...

I kept hoping
she'd walk through the door,

but then she didn't, and then...

...it was six o'clock in the morning.
Uh, what did the police say?

Um, just that...

they'd keep an eye out.

Keep an eye out?
Doesn't seem very thorough.

I'm sure they're doing
everything they can.

Do you have any photos
I could use for the article?

Yeah, this one.

She's so joyful here.

Maybe too joyful?

Do you have anything
more, uh...

wistful, maybe?

Wistful? Yeah.

Yeah, I got just the one.

If you could return
this after you're done,

I'd really appreciate it.

One night,
after too much Chateau Pape,

we picked our missing-person
photos for a laugh.

This was hers.
It was her idea, like she knew.

I'll take care of that for you.

'What time did you go to the club?'

'Uh... about eleven.'

'Until?'
'Late.'

'Were you with anyone?'

'Uh, Pidge, Anni, Lucille,

'Julia Blenkingsopp.'

'Hello, Badgerton's.'

Um, I would like to speak
to Julia Blenkingsopp, please.

'I'm afraid Julia is unavailable.'

This is DC Farrow calling
from the North Berkshire police.

It just would be great to speak
to her as soon as possible-

'As I said, she's unavailable.

'I'd recommend calling tomorrow.'

She'll be back tomorrow.

A spa weekend, lovers' tiff,
drugs bender...

I mean, there's loads of reasons.
This- This is reckless reporting.

Night, Jeff.
Yeah.

So, what do you think, Phil?

It's official!
You're a published writer.

Yeah!

- Oh!
- I'm so sorry.
No, it's, um...

- Well done!
- Thanks!

Should-Sorry.

My phone's ringing.

Hi, Seren.'Julia offered a great
price, and I had to make a decision.

'I knew you'd freak out.'
Well, 'cos you- You didn't even-

'Of course you exist.
You're making me very aware of that.

'But I'm the oldest,
and I need a deposit.

'This is happening. I can't get
hold of Julia to finalise,

'but a surveyor
is coming round today.'

What? When? Not-
'Yeah, now.

'He's got keys, so you don't
have to put yourself out.'

f*ck!

Is everything alright?
Uh, yeah. Fine.

I just have to sort
something at the house.

I'll see you at the pub!

Hey! Stop!

This is trespassing!
Oh, no, it's um...

I'm Neil, the surveyor
from Badgerton's.

Who said you could come
into my house?

Stella. Stella Gleason from-
from Badgerton's.

Stella doesn't know what she's
on about 'cos we're not selling,

so, thank you!
Uh... are you sure?

Because Stella said-
Get the f*ck off my porch, Neil.

Be quiet!

I wouldn't bother.
Nobody can hear you.

The perks of living
on a dual carriageway.

Should have put that
in the listing.

Anyway, I'm going out

so you're just gonna
exhaust yourself.

What's that?

Why am I celebrating?

Oh, well, because my life's
not sh*t anymore.

You know, I got a promotion today?

Published an amazing story.

A deep dive into
a local estate agent.

A woman who...
seemed to have it all,

and then...

poof, just disappeared!

Ended up dead.

See?

Don't underestimate me.

Somebody help!

I'm locked in a garage!

Help!

You know,

I used to think about
you dying all the time.

What my life would be like
if you weren't in it.

And do you know what?

I think it will just keep
- getting better.
- This is insane!

You're gonna get caught.

Marcus will be looking for me-
Oh, but you...

turned off your Find My Friends when
you went to see Craig last night,

didn't you? Marcus told me.

c*ck that up, didn't you?

Is that my top?

Yeah, it is.

Nice wine, by the way.
Yeah, thanks for that.

And your house, just...

Anyway, like I said,

I'm going out, so...

I'll deal with you later.

You look sh*t!

Like one of those child
beauty-pageant contestants.

A creepy little pre-teen.

You can insult me all you want,
but you're dying tonight.

And the answer is...

Cheryl Tweedy.

- Hey.
- Hey!
Where are the others?

What? I thought...
It's- It's just us.

But I can call Jeff if you...

Oh, no! Uh...

Cool, yeah. That's, um...
Don't do that.

Uh, this is for you.

Thanks.

Uh, are you alright? Is all...

all OK at home?

Yeah. Why?

What- What do you mean?
No, I don't know, I just...

thought you'd been a bit...

Um...

You're just scared
I'm coming for your job, so...

No, I'm not.

And now for the bonus question.

Right, the category is,

famous murderers.

In honour of those poor men.

In 1972, Seattle's crime
Prevention Advisory Committee

unknowingly appointed
which serial k*ller?

Uh...

Uh, Charles Manson?

Uh... '70s is too late.

Oh, the chainsaw guy, Ed...

Gein?
John Wayne Gacy. No!

It's Ted Bundy. Ted Bundy.
- You sure?
- It's Ted Bundy.

Bundy?

Pens down!
Ooh, quickly!

For five bonus points
the answer was...

...Ted Bundy.
Yes!

You are full of surprises.

Oi! Get your hands
off my missus.

He wasn't-
Oh, wha- Sorry...

Are you two...?
His face!

I'm f*cking with you!

She's not my bird... yet!

You alright, babe?

Oh!

Um... I'm AJ.

- Oh, right, yeah.
- He's-
Craig.

That's... quite a grip.
Yeah, mate,

that's a grafter's grip. That's what
that is, yeah.

I'm on the tools all day,
you know what I mean?

Picking up concrete blocks.
Yeah, that's my gym, so.

Cool.
Yeah.

Actually, do you mind if I grab her
for a couple of minutes,

is that OK? It'd be good if
we could finally talk some business.

We keep getting distracted.
Yeah?

Yeah. We keep having sex.

Yeah...
Yeah.

Yeah, I'll... leave you to it, then.

Oh! AJ, you don't-
No, I do actually have to go,

'cos it was supposed to be
a quick pint.

So, yeah, I'll, um...

I'll see you at work.

See you later, mate.

He's a bit moist, ain't he?

Oh, what?

AJ!

AJ, come on!

AJ!

f*ck's sake!

Marcus?

It's OK.
You alright?

I'm fine. Ugh... fine!

Is she back?

Has she come back yet?

It's fine. She'll be back.
She always comes back.

When her Monzo runs out.
What?

Marcus, you... you...

Marcus, what do you mean?

You said that she hasn't done
this before.

You called the police.

Yeah, I lied.
I know she'll be back.

Marcus, we need to talk.

Give me the keys.
I'm driving you home.

Right, so you gonna tell me
what's really been going on then?

Not sure Julia would like that.
Oh, f*ck her!

What?
She doesn't even love me.

Marcus... What do you mean?
You said everything was-

Hello? Yeah...

Marcus, what's going on?
Spring rolls.

'Is that it?

'What else do you want?

'Hello?'

I'm onto you.

That hurts, Rhiannon.

You make it look like
you've got this perfect life,

but actually...

it's all fake, isn't it?

What?

Everyone thinks
that you're f*cking lovely,

that you've got this f*cking
lovely life, but actually...

...you don't, do you?

And you're not.

You're awful.

I know it.

Marcus knows it.

Marcus?

What's he got to do with it?

That's right,

you won't have seen
his many, many messages.

So I'll share them, shall I?

"Why won't you f*cking reply?"

"You always do this,
you f*cking b*tch!"

"Why are you always trying
to hurt me?"

"I'm going to k*ll myself

and it will all be your fault."

"It's f*cking abuse."

"You're a*usive."

That's not even the worst of them.

f*ck off, Rhiannon.

So, what'd you do to him?

Nothing.

You must have done something,
'cos he is not happy with you.

I didn't do anything.
What was it?

Did you erode his self-worth

and general context in the world?

No.
You ruin lives, Julia!

You're like cancer.

Or... climate change.

Or Russia.

Yeah. The world would be
a better place without you.

Except, at least with Russia,

everyone knows what
a psycho Putin is.

No one even knows about you.

And by the time they do,
it's too late,

'cos you've already destroyed them.
Fine!

I'm a terrible person!

I deserve him. I deserve this.

It's all a lie!
I'm a huge f*cking fake.

Is that what you want to hear?

Oh, God!
What?

He's a f*cking monster!

I don't know how to get out.

I don't know how to get out.

I don't know how to get out.

I don't know how to get out.

He controls everything.

I don't know how to get out.

I don't know how to get out.

f*ck me!
'Cheeky!

'Careful or I'll have you up
for inappropriate conduct.'

Apologies, ma'am, I, uh...

hadn't realised I'd answered
so quickly.

'Robust reflexes. Good thing
you're not in the g*n squad, eh?'

Yeah.
'Listen, have you seen The Gazette?

'A woman's gone missing.

'Says the husband reported it
this morning,

'but, well, I've had a look,
and there's nothing on file.

'We need to get across this.
Can't take any chances.'

Oh, my God.

'Is everything OK?'
Uh...

Yeah, I think I might have
something. Can I call you back?

'Don't be all night...'

♪ PEACHES: Boys Wanna Be Her ♪

♪ You've got them all by the ba*ls

♪ Causin' waterfalls,
stone walls, bar brawls

♪ Common stalls that cause 'em all

♪ To you they crawl,
body sprawl, smokin' Pall Malls

♪ Close call, stand tall

♪ Doll, you make them feel so small

♪ And they love it

♪ Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

♪ Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

♪ The boys wanna be her

♪ The girls wanna be her

♪ The boys wanna be her

♪ The girls wanna be her

♪ The boys wanna be her

♪ The girls wanna be her

♪ The boys wanna be her

♪ I wanna be her

♪ Yes, I do

♪ Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! ♪