01x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: Again and again and again,

Ursula thought about how much

she loved her brother Teddy,

how sweet he'd been.

Got you!

After w*r was declared,

Teddy joined the Air Force.

Ursula was grateful

to be rising through the ranks

in the civil service.

It meant she could get up every day

and actively fight Hitler

..if only from a chair

in the office.

She would never be in charge.

That was still for

the Maurices of this world.

A quick word with you, Ursula.

Do you want some tea?

I was about to seek some out.

That sort of day. No tea, thank you.

Listen, I'm sorry, but I can't meet

Tedders and Jimbo tonight.

Maurice! Erm,

"Mr Todd" while we're working.

We agreed. Mr Todd,

plans have been made.

Yes, and they have to change.

Although it seems to have escaped

everyone in our family's notice,

I'm rather important round here.

Then say you have to leave early.

Oh! For goodness' sake!

You realise it might be

the last time you see them?

Why do you always have to be

so macabre?

Because there's a w*r on!

Yes, there is,

which means I don't have time to gad

around town with Teddy and Jimmy.

MAN WHISTLES ALONG TO PIANO

ALL: ♪ Show me the way to go home

♪ I'm tired and I want to go to bed

♪ I had a little drink

about an hour ago

♪ And it's gone

straight to my head ♪

Woo!

I just want him dead.

I think about it all the time,

how I would love to be the one

that just kills him.

Not to worry, my lovely.

We will do it for you.

See, I will sh**t him,

Teddy will b*mb him,

and then we'll bring you home

his moustache.

And do what with it? Burn it.

No, donate it to the British Museum.

THEY LAUGH

I keep thinking I'll wake up

and it was all a dream,

that I'm not trapped

in this endless nightmare.

Oh, chin up. It won't last forever.

Nothing does.

I wish I could go instead of you.

I really do. It isn't fair.

It would take one of his generals

being awfully heroic.

They'd have to sh**t him

in the back.

And then they'd be shot.

And would it even make a difference?

Goebbels would just run things.

I think it WOULD make a difference.

It's Hitler

that people are obsessed with.

Maybe you will b*mb him, Teddy.

Get one of his houses or something.

You know, squash him. I'll try.

It would be wonderful to be the chap

who gets to sh**t him

right between the eyes. Bang!

I'd like to buy you all a drink.

People have been buying us drinks

all night.

I'm starting to see double.

Beautiful boys.

Full of life.

But evil's evil, isn't it?

And the gods have always enjoyed

a bit of sacrifice.

Same again? Same again.

HE CHUCKLES

Don't you wonder sometimes,

if just one small thing

had been changed in the past -

I mean, if Hitler had died at birth

or if someone had kidnapped him

as a baby and brought him up in,

I don't know, a Quaker house

THEY CHUCKLE

..surely things would be different.

Do you think Quakers

could kidnap a baby?

If they knew what was going

to happen, they might.

But nobody knows

what's going to happen.

And, anyway, even if they did,

could you k*ll a baby?

Yes,

if it would keep you safe.

Jimmy, this was a poor choice

of establishment. Depressing.

What? No, no, no, no, no.

There's music downstairs.

Excellent fun.

Wanted to show it to you.

Oops! Oops!

HE LAUGHS

Come and see. But you have to shhh.

WHISPERS: It's a secret.

THEY LAUGH

I suppose we should follow him.

Yes, he seems in danger

of becoming unwieldy.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

BAND PLAYS JAUNTY TUNE

Oh!

♪ Kiss me goodnight, Sergeant Major

♪ Tuck me in my little wooden bed

♪ We all love you, Sergeant Major

♪ When we hear you bawling,

"Show a leg!"

♪ Don't forget to wake me

in the morning

♪ And bring me round

a nice hot cup of tea

♪ Kiss me goodnight, Sergeant Major

♪ Sergeant Major,

be a mother to me ♪

Evening, soldier. Just enjoy it.

It's story time, everyone!

CHEERING

Let's go! Shall we?

♪ Private Jim came in one night

Full of cheer and very bright

♪ He'd been out all day

up on the spring

♪ He bumped into the Sergeant's man

♪ Pops his arms around his neck

♪ And in his ear

he whispered tenderly

♪ He said, "Kiss me goodnight,

Sergeant Major" ♪

Were we wrong to leave Jimmy there?

Is he going to be all right?

He seemed in his element.

Did you have any idea that he likes

to frequent places like that?

No! Do you care? No.

He could be dead in a week.

He should do what he wants.

Izzie will be thrilled.

HE CHUCKLES

"Noble tradition, all that.

"All the best poets and so forth."

This is me.

You should leave me here.

Be as safe as you can.

Will do.

Fly very carefully.

Try not to die. I'll do my best.

Teddy?

AIR-RAID SIREN BLARES

Oh, bad luck to cross

on the stairs, Miss Todd.

You're going the wrong way.

I forgot my knitting.

NARRATOR: Ursula's nightly ritual

involved gathering in the basement

with the other tenants

of the boarding house.

Miss Todd. Sorry. Hello.

BABY CRIES

expl*si*n, BABY SCREAMS

Ursula thought of Teddy

in his plane

..somewhere over Germany right now.

VIOLENT RUMBLING

Shall I take Emile for a moment?

Why don't I take Emile? I'm sorry.

Hello!

SHE SINGS

You're very good with babies,

Miss Todd.

You shouldn't wait much longer.

WHISTLING OVERHEAD

SMASHING, RUMBLING

HIGH-PITCHED TONE

MUFFLED: Hello?

Hello there, my love.

We'll get you out of here

in a jiffy.

SHE MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY

What's that, my darling?

Baby. Oh, we'll find your baby.

Don't you worry about that, my love.

Don't go.

So glad I'm not going to die alone.

You're going to be fine, my darling.

Stay awake. Keep talking.

You know

..I saw Hitler once.

Did you? Really?

I was in the mountains.

I waved.

Should have stayed in Germany.

Tried to get him.

Well, someone's going to get him.

Don't you worry about that,

my darling.

I don't know why we live.

We just die. You're not going

to die. Squeeze my hand.

It's so kind of you to be with me.

I just want a good death.

How do you have a good death?

Hurry! Over here!

I want my Ted.

NARRATOR: Ursula worked

at the Home Office by day,

cataloguing

London's injured and dead,

and at night, she volunteered

as an air-raid warden,

seeing the casualties of the

relentless bombing raids first-hand.

If they can't tell you their name,

then you call them "my lovely",

"my darling", "my dear" -

any term of endearment like that.

It comforts them. Yes, all right.

You're doing superbly.

It's just a little trick. Course.

Apparently, there's quite a lot

of people unaccounted for.

Get down!

RUMBLING

Thank you. Go and see if there

were some lucky ones in there.

AIR-RAID SIREN BLARES

Hello?

MOANING

Hello?

Hello. I'm coming.

Hello, my lovely. My name's Ursula.

I'm with the volunteer

Air Raid Precautions department.

What's your name, sweetheart?

SHE MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY

Again?

Baby. Baby?

His name is Emile.

Emile?

We'll find him. We'll find him.

But, first, I'm going to get you to

a stretcher, all right?

WHISPERS: Oh, God.

There's a woman in there,

alive, only just.

We should hurry.

I didn't get her name.

I was looking for her baby.

Did you find her baby?

Deceased, I'm afraid.

I'll take you to the mother.

Hurry! Stretcher here, now!

Oh, sh*t. Sorry.

PLANE DRONES OVERHEAD

NARRATOR: Surrounded by death,

Ursula had never wanted

to live more.

If only this were the world.

Cigarette?

I don't really smoke.

I don't really f*ck strange women

in posh houses.

I like it, though.

THEY LAUGH

Is this the real world?

Bombs falling? You and me?

Probably not.

If we win this w*r, do you think

we'll build a better world,

like the politicians keep saying?

I don't know. I don't think so.

We have to.

Otherwise, what's it all for?

What's the point in anything?

Don't think too hard.

You'll hurt your head.

Have you got any food? No.

There's only wine in the cellar.

Very good wine, I might add.

This is my aunt's place.

She's wonderfully rich.

Well, let's go get some, then.

NARRATOR: They drank wine in bed.

For some reason,

there was no air-raid siren

that night

when the first bombs fell.

They both died instantly.

SHE MOANS

The cord's around her neck.

Strangled before she had

a chance to live.

God wanted her back.

He wanted her back.

I have sewing scissors.

SHE GROANS

SCISSORS SLICE, BABY CRIES

In this life, Ursula was

frequently lost in thought.

From an early age, she wondered

about the meaning of life,

which at first amused

and impressed her parents,

and later became concerning.

No. Why not?

What is the point

in studying philosophy?

Where to begin?

To discover life's purpose.

Intellectual curiosity -

dangerous in a woman, and thrilling.

Shut up, Izzie. Sylvie, can you not?

I'm so sorry.

Izzie, cease to speak.

Ha-ha! Very witty.

Looking for the meaning of life,

are you, little bear?

Seems a good enough question

on which to pin a degree -

the meaning of life,

the purpose of life.

Are we alive? Do we exist?

Teddy, leave cake

for everybody else, please.

The cake no longer exists.

When you've got some answers,

tell the rest of us, would you?

Oh, who bloody cares?

The meaning of your life

is to have a baby,

which is exactly

what you'll end up doing.

Why Oxford should waste

a degree on you, I can't imagine.

You're a repulsive human being.

You repel me.

I happen to know

the meaning of life,

in case anyone is interested.

Take care of each other.

That's all I ask.

Women going to university -

in my day, it wasn't done.

I was packed off

to finishing school.

Not terribly useful. I envy you.

But you've done so well.

You make your own money.

You drive your own car.

I admire you.

That's the nice thing about time,

isn't it?

The more it moves forward, the

better this silly old world gets,

especially for us girls.

You study

whatever you want to study,

and you give it your all.

You're a clever girl

and a pretty girl.

The deck is stacked in your favour.

You could do great things.

CAR ENGINE STARTS

NARRATOR: She was spending

the summer in Germany.

Here it comes! She was drawn

to Germany, for some reason.

EXCITED CHATTER

GIRLS CHEER

Mein Fuhrer! Mein Fuhrer!

The hysteria

among her female friends

surrounding the dank and

puffy Austrian confused Ursula

..but she fell in

with a more intellectual crowd,

who all agreed Hitler

was tremendously flawed.

The only question was

how and when he might be deposed.

THEY ARGUE IN GERMAN

A clever and ambitious German lawyer

called Jurgen

had fallen in love with her.

He made her happy.

Within a year, they were married,

and her plans for the future

took a different turn.

Hello, little one.

Frieda.

Hello, Frieda.

Welcome, Frieda.

Well done.

Well done, well done,

well done, well done.

Frieda, slow down!

She's all right.

She's enjoying herself.

No, she has weak lungs.

She has to be careful.

Can I ask you something?

When you're in Germany, and you hear

people say things against the Jews,

do you speak up at all?

The people I know

don't talk that way.

And when you see shops owned by Jews

with their windows shattered

and graffiti all over them,

as we see here in the press,

do you do anything?

Like what?

Get into a fist fight?

No, I don't.

And you wouldn't either.

I wouldn't live there.

No fighting, please.

This is supposed to be

a special time.

Ursula's only here for the week.

I wish Jurgen could have come.

They keep him very busy.

"They"

..meaning the n*zi Party.

He had to join the Party

or he couldn't work,

and we need people in the Party

with cooler heads.

I need to put Frieda down

for her nap.

How's everything?

I don't know how receptive

she'll be to the conversation.

We still have to have it.

Frieda! Mm. Come on!

Your father and I

are worried about you,

and so are your brothers and sister.

If there's going to be a w*r

..we wondered if there was any way

for all of you

to come to Fox Corner.

Maurice could find work for Jurgen.

Jurgen will never agree to that.

Just you and Frieda, then.

Choose my country over my husband?

I don't know. I don't know

what the right thing is.

Let's see how things develop.

Jurgen's fairly confident

that there'll be no w*r.

Oh, good. So is Maurice.

You have to pay

very close attention,

because if they're wrong,

you have to get out

before the borders close.

I will, Dad.

I'll pay very close attention.

I'll try to get out and visit you

in the next few months.

Yes, all right.

Would you like that -

if Grandma came to visit?

NARRATOR: The day w*r was declared,

Ursula ran to the British embassy,

dragging Frieda by the hand.

The gates were padlocked

and there were no lights on

in the building.

"They've gone,"

the passer-by told her.

"You've missed them."

Jurgen had died

in a bombing raid in '44

..and later that year,

Teddy was shot down over Berlin.

Why is it there?

The British bombed the zoo.

Lots of the animals escaped.

Ursula was astonished daily

that she and her daughter

were still alive.

Their stomachs were empty

..except for two half-raw potatoes

eaten the day before.

If Frieda hadn't been sick,

they might have joined

the exodus of people heading west,

away from the Russians

..but there was no way

she would survive such a journey.

AIR-RAID SIREN BLARES

Get up. You have to keep moving.

We have to.

SHE COUGHS

Just sit.

Sit.

I know.

BOMBING IN DISTANCE

Oh, yes.

I was going to tell you

about the chickens.

Your grandmother got chickens

during the last w*r

..because we were also worried

about food.

We thought we could eat their eggs.

But she kept the chickens

even when the w*r was over,

I think because

she fell in love with them.

Then, one day, young Uncle Teddy,

young Uncle Jimmy

opened up the chicken coop

when they weren't supposed to

..because they wanted to surprise

everybody with a chicken parade.

BOMBING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE

NARRATOR: As she drifted

into sleep

..Ursula had the terrible sense that

she'd forgotten to do something.

She found herself trying to remember

why she had come to Germany

in the first place.

There had been some task.

What was it?

I hear the baby nearly died.

"Fragile" was the word

they used for her.

What's wrong? I don't know.

It's melancholia. It's melancholia.

It's nothing to be frightened of.

Teddy? Excuse me.

Ursula, a word.

No. What?

Please don't do this.

Please don't what?

I don't know. What?

What is it? What?!

It's about Teddy.

He caught one.

No.

Yes.

Very tough. Very tough.

This w*r is

..very evil.

HE CLEARS HIS THROA

Go ahead - take the rest

of the day off. I'll clear it.

Do you need someone

to take you home?

No.

Ooh! You all right?

Let me help you.

SHE SCREAMS

SHE SOBS

SHE SCREAMS

Ursula?

Ursula Todd? Remember me?

Dr Kellet?

Your father hunted me down,

thought you might enjoy a visit.

I do remember you.

I was quite young. Yes,

but very bright and interesting.

You thought you'd been here before.

Do you believe me?

Or are you pretending?

Anything's possible.

That's what gives me hope.

I heard you

..lost a brother in the w*r.

I didn't misplace him.

I didn't put him down

and forget where.

He was m*rder*d

by some other poor chap

in a k*lling machine.

I lost my son in the w*r.

I do feel as though I misplaced him,

and he's liable to show up again

any minute.

But as you said

..he was k*lled.

How do you go on?

Amor fati - a love of fate.

Nietzsche was drawn to the concept.

Did we ever talk about that?

I hope not. I was ten.

HE CHUCKLES

It means simple acceptance

of what comes to us,

regarding it as

neither bad nor good.

"Werde, der du bist,"

as he would have it.

Do you know what that means?

It means "become who you are".

Nietzsche got that from Pindar

..who put it rather better.

"Become such as you are,

having learned what that is."

I'll tell you who I became.

Yes, why don't you?

A corpse.

A corpse

..among corpses.

But you're breathing,

so your analogy

is highly inaccurate.

If I have been here before

..and if I'm coming again

..next time, I'll do so much better.

I keep thinking,

"If I could just remember"

It's maddening not to remember.

But if I could just remember,

if I could just get there

soon enough

Get where? Munich.

If I could have gone to Munich

soon enough,

I could have changed everything.

You couldn't. Why?

Because the world is the world.

I hate it.

I hate it here.

I miss my brother.

I miss my son.

But we have no choice.

You have no choice.

I'm coming, Teddy.

Good shots for a girl.

My little bear,

you're a real Annie Oakley.

TRAM BELL DINGS

g*nshots, SCREAMING

She has bad dreams often,

and a kind of deja vu all the time.

Really?

She has said to me more than once

that she thinks

she's been here before.

Perhaps she has.

Dr Kellet,

you came highly recommended.

I hope I wasn't misinformed.

Her reality is her reality.

Perhaps it's a neurological blip

in her brain.

Perhaps it's objective truth.

Does it matter?

What she feels is what she feels.

Well, fine.

Ah! Very good.

What is that?

It's a snake

with its tail in its mouth.

It's a symbol representing

the circularity of the universe.

What?

The idea is that there is

no such thing as linear time.

We're always in the past,

we're always in the future,

which is to say, neither exists.

There is only the now.

I just want her to be happy.

She seems to find the world

such a frightening place.

But it is a frightening place.

That makes perfect sense.

That being said, amor fati. What?

Have you read any Nietzsche?

I'm ten.

TEDDY: What if we could come back

and live it all over

..again and again and again?

Wouldn't that be fantastic?

They're the two best words

in the English language

when you put them together.

"What if?"

This is me.

You should leave me here.

Teddy?

Love you.

Ursula? What?

Thank you.

Ursula, a word.

Looks delish. I'll dish it up.

Why is everyone so quiet?

This is a party.

I think I might have to lie down.

Don't lie down. Stay for the cake.

You haven't even had cake.

If she wants to lie down,

she can lie down.

Teddy used to say,

"Wouldn't it be great

"if we could do it all again?"

Do it all again? Yes.

Come back and try to put right

all the things we did wrong. Yes.

Live our favourite moments again.

You couldn't pay me

to do this again.

What about you?

I'd do it again.

I love being alive.

Well, you have your children intact.

You have most of yours,

and grandchildren,

a wonderful husband, a house,

Jimmy's on his way home.

You have plenty to be thankful for

in spite of everything.

Easy on your mother, dear.

Thank you, Izzie.

Hugh, it's your birthday.

You're very elderly now.

All right! Would you do it all again

in spite of everything?

Oh, my God, yes.

I'd do it all again just to see

Ursula take her first steps.

I understand

I've never been a favourite,

but I do feel everyone could be

more subtle about it.

I'd do it again to see Pamela

beat Maurice at tennis

for the first time.

The look on his face.

CHUCKLING

HE GROANS, SHE LAUGHS

THEY GROAN, LAUGH

Oh, I would definitely return.

Return in many guises.

That wasn't an option.

I don't care.

I'd be a spy.

I'd be an ardent lover

of an entrapped Bulgarian princess.

That sounds like something

you might have already done.

Not yet, but you're right -

never say never.

What about you, little bear?

Would you do it all over again?

I told Teddy I would.

I told Teddy it would be wonderful.

Got any inside information for us,

little bear?

When's the bloody w*r

going to be over?

Oh, you know, by Christmas.

Are we winning?

We choose to believe we are.

I don't suppose

you'd consider leaving work,

stay with us at Fox Corner?

London is so dangerous now.

I'm very careful.

I knew a chap in the trenches

who lit a match.

Bob's your uncle - German sn*per

shot his head clean off.

Good chap. Name of Rogerson.

Same as the baker's in the village.

No relation.

Poor fellow.

You know what I took from it?

You keep your head below the parapet

and your light beneath a bushel.

I know you don't mean that.

Not really. Yes, I do.

I do. I would rather you were

a coward than dead, little bear.

I couldn't bear it

if anything happened to you.

You never talk about your w*r,

what you did, what you saw.

I saw the same thing

every soldier sees.

God and the devil.

God and the devil.

Death everywhere

..and an extraordinary amount

of human kindness.

♪ Again

♪ This couldn't happen again

♪ This is that once in a lifetime

♪ This is the thrill divine

♪ What's more

♪ This never happened before

♪ Though I have prayed

for a lifetime

♪ That such as you

♪ Would suddenly be mine

♪ Mine to hold

♪ As I'm holding you now

♪ And yet never so near

♪ Mine to have when the now ♪