01x01 - Pilot

[bunniefuu]

Nice one.

Not very happy about
the hook in his dinner.

Catch him on a hopper?

Hopper's out yet?

There's one out.

Yeah, they're sure not buying
this salmonfly.

They're not buying
your presentation.

You're slapping the water
with it. Just lay it.

Too much action in your wrist.

Stop trying
to hail a cab on Fifth Avenue.

Just lay it down.

Like that.

And on a hopper.

I do this for a living,
big brother.

Well, sort of.

You should do it for a living.

Never make work
of your passions.

Well, counterpoint to that is:
love what you do,

you never work a day
in your life.

- You love what you do?
- I don't even like what I do.

You should analyze that.

That's exactly what I'm doing.

Glad you're doing something,

'cause you damn sure
ain't catching any trout.

You better not be doing
what I think you're doing.

- Tying on a nymph.
- Don't you dare!

This is my last day, Paul.

I'm tying on a nymph.

And if you f*ck with me
even a little,

I'm putting on a streamer.

I don't know you anymore.

I recognize your face,

but the words coming from it
are the words of a stranger.

- Ha!
- Doesn't count.

It counts.

I got a spincaster in the truck.

Why don't you just put
some cheese on a treble hook.

Get out of here.

Hey.

I'm keeping it.

Course you are,
f*cking fish k*ller.

I'm keeping it,
and you're cooking it.

All right.

And lay it out there.

Hey, I have the Hermès scarf
and the blouse from Brunello.

I'm meeting her
at the Greenwich,

and then we'll depart
for the opening at five-fifteen.

Well, does her assistant know?

Okay, yeah, calling now.

The Washington
Heights Women's Center

will provide essential services

for New York's
most underprivileged

and underrepresented
demographic.

Beyond reproductive care,

the Women's Center
will provide wellness care,

counseling,
dietary consultation...

The nutritionist was my idea.

The diet of some of those people
is abhorrent.

They just don't know any better.

They don't eat junk
because they like it, Laura.

They eat it because it's cheap.

They don't need a nutritionist.
They need better food.

The food bank has
a bigger selection of produce

than my Whole Foods, Stacy,
and that all rots.

They won't eat it.

They want chips and chicken
nuggets, sugarcoated cereals.

They need education.

Excuse me.

Paige?

I was attacked.

Attacked?

A man just walked up and hit me.

Took my bags and hit me.

- Oh, my...
- Can you see it?

Did you call the police?

- It just happened.
- Where are you?

Uh, downtown.

- Get in a cab.
- Should I go to the hospital?

- Like, look at this.
- No.

Go to Dr. Steele's office.
I'll meet you there.

Wait. There's a police car.

What happened?

I was attacked and robbed.

- Somebody hit you?
- Hit me and took two bags,

- shopping bags.
- Uh, what'd they look like?

Uh, maybe 30.

A navy sweatshirt,
hood over his head, tall,

- tall and skinny.
- What color was he?

Color?

His skin.

I... I can't. I-I can't.

You didn't notice?

Was he dark like me
or light like him?

I don't know.
I only saw him walking away.

But you think he's 30.
How you know that?

I-I saw for an instant, but yes,
he looked 30 or maybe younger,

but I don't want to say his race
because I don't know.

How about this?

What color were
the shopping bags?

White, two of them.

Navy blue sweatshirt,
two white bags.

Got it.

You need to file a report.

Are you still there?

One-seventeen Park Avenue.

How many stitches?

I think it's gonna take six.

How big a scar?

We'll deal with the scar later.

It's easy for you to say.
It's not on your face.

Russell might like it.

Scars are sexy.

Scars on men are sexy.

Scars on women are...

I'm gonna look like
a battered spouse.

I don't know why
you were walking.

Why were you walking?
You know better than that.

I was on Fifth Avenue, Mom.

If you can't walk on Fifth
Avenue, where can you walk?

You can't.
That's the whole point.

Did you call Daddy?

- No, he's fishing.
- And that means

- you can't call him?
- No, honey,

I can call him.
I just can't reach him.

He doesn't have cell service
on the river.

He'll call tonight.

But I can tell you
what he'll say.

He'll say take the car.

Stay still.

He hit me.

For no reason.

I would have given him the bags.

I know.

- He just hit me.
- I know.

Just leave all that sh*t
on the plane.

I got a surprise for you
tomorrow.

Paul, I have to leave tomorrow.

You're fishing
the Big Lost tomorrow.

You have to pack into
the Big Lost.

I fly in the smoke jumpers,
and we can use their strip.

Happy birthday.

Oh, sh*t.

Ah.

- Ah.
- Baby.

- Yeah.
- Baby.

- Soft.
- Oh.

Soft.

Sixty-four.

Astonishing where the time goes.

I wonder,

what do I have, maybe ten,


to do anything more
than just remember?

I took Stacy and the kids
to this resort in the Caribbean.

Rooms are ten grand a night.

Villas are 30.

This sh*t doesn't impress me.

No, Paul,
it doesn't impress me either.

I'm just trying
to tell you a story.

Now...

if you quantify making it
by the things you can afford,

then this place is
making it, yeah?

We're sitting there on the beach

and watching all these couples
walk by.

We're the youngest there
by, like, two decades.

I mean, everyone's
in their 70s and 80s.

Barely waddle across the sand.

All covered up in their big hats
and their long-sleeved shirts.

They'd made it.

But their bodies are too old
to enjoy it.

Flew halfway around the world,

and they were
too old and crippled.

Swim the water, run in the sand,
make love, none of it.

They finally made it.

They were all too old
to create a single memory.

And they knew it.

It was on every one
of their faces.

Saw them at the restaurant.

Same thing.
Not a smile among them.

'Cause they knew.

They worked their whole lives
for that moment.

The moment had already
passed them by.

That's why I'm here.

That's why I quit.

I make a memory a day, brother.

Sometimes more.

But make them for who, huh?

Hmm?

No kids.

No... no wife.

You-you... you got nobody
to share it with, Paul.

I'm sharing it with you
right now.

Once a year,
you share it with me.

Then you should come more often.

At least get a girlfriend.

Not on your life.

How about a dog?

They're needier
than girlfriends.

Maybe a goldfish, then.

- Maybe.
- Huh.

You'd probably try to k*ll it

with one of
your giant hook streamers.

True.

Thank you. Mmm.

Oh, sorry.

Abby, how was your day?

Laser resurfacing is
the most effective.

Doesn't that make your skin
shiny, like, forever?

I still haven't seen it.

You're never seeing it.
Looks like a bloody zipper.

I wish I had been there.

What, so he could've
hit you, too?

All you would've gotten is
shot, stabbed or worse.

What's worse than getting shot?

I don't know, but
that's what would have happened.

- Being set on fire is worse.
- Girls,

- please, can we just...
- And then the police,

they just kept asking,
"What was his race?"

Like that has anything
to do with it.

I mean, it's pretty
important information

when you're trying
to find somebody.

- Whoa.
- That's so r*cist.

Where are you going?

It's your father.

So? Where are you going?

It is rude to talk on the phone
in a restaurant.

It is also rude to play

on your phone in a restaurant
and surf the Internet.

Basically, what all of you
are doing right now is rude.

Rude to who?

It's rude to me.
It's rude to each other.

It's rude to the staff.

Just f*cking rude.

It's so bright there.

- What time is it?
- Seven.

Full moon.

Wow. Look at those stars.

My view's better.

Well,

until your brother
gets indoor plumbing,

I'll have to take
your word for it.

Oh, there's plumbing of sorts.

Got a sink.

- Got a shower now.
- Well, until

the outhouse moves indoors,

then I'll have to rely
on pictures.

You feel rested?

What time do you land tomorrow?

Okay, gonna have to push it
back a day, honey,

because Paul has something very,

very special planned
for tomorrow.

- Mm-hmm.
- It's a stretch of river

that can only be reached
by packhorse.

Takes, like, a week.

Paul has permission
to fly us into it.

Honey, this is like...

Well, it's virgin water.

Oh, now there's
virgins involved.

Nobody fishes this stretch,
honey. Nobody.

Maybe a dozen people a year,
if that.

Hey, um, some bad news.

Uh, Paige got mugged today
down in the Village.

What? Mugged?

- Is she okay?
- Yeah.

She just, you know,
she got a pretty good shiner and

a decent cut.

The doctor saw her.
Six stitches.

g*dd*mn it. I cannot come up
with one plausible reason

- why we still live in that city.
- Well,

I'll give you two.

Our children.

Two more.
Our grandchildren, my parents.

Make her use the car, honey.
That's what it's for.

She thinks
it's a garish display of wealth.

Well,
if my money's so offensive,

maybe we should stop
giving it to her.

- Oh, honey.
- No, I'm serious.

Sell her apartment
and put her up in a house

in Great Neck,
or she takes the f*cking car.

Yeah, I knew
you were gonna do this.

- What am I doing?
- Okay, let's...

This problem will be right here
when you get back.

Let's deal with it then.

All right.

She's okay, though, huh?

Yes. In the meantime,
enjoy your mountains,

enjoy your brother,
enjoy the hole in the ground

he thinks is a toilet,
and I'll see you Monday.

Monday.

I love you, honey.

Love you.

So, Russell,
anything interesting

happen in your world today,

besides your wife
getting mugged?

Uh...

Uh, yeah, we're, uh...

Well, we're, uh, we're investing
in a Dutch cargo ship venture.

I mean,
some of these larger vessels,

they, uh, carry
over 25,000 containers.

Like, 2,000 and change
per container.

That's over 50 million a load
in freight.

And you have crew fees
and docking fees, fuel by far

being the largest expense...

So... no,
nothing interesting happened.

Excuse me. Um, can I order
a martini, gin, three olives?

Thank you.

What's wrong with you?

I was the one that got punched.

Let's go.

- Prest?
- Yeah.

You might want to grab your rod.

Oh, sh*t. Christ.

The way you talk
about this place,

I thought
I'd only need my net, so...

Hey.

Caddis are hatching.

Up! Yeah!

Oh.

It's gonna be
one of those days, brother.

Good.

I could use one.

That worry you at all?

We're not going that way.

'Cause that storm sure looks
like it's coming this way.

There wasn't any weather
on the radar this morning.

Well, there's weather
there now, Paul.

Storms build over the mountains
every afternoon.

But we're going that way.

We can leave now if you want.

I don't ever want to leave.

Can't do it
any better than that.

Ah.

Oh, no!

No!

I just h...
it was a monster!

We should go.

Yeah.

sh*t!

What do you think? What-what's
this telling you here?

I'm just gonna pick
my way through it.

It's gonna be a little bumpy
over the mountains.

Yeah. Okay.

Jesus!

Yep.

Big Sky Approach,
this is Cessna 185 Bravo Zulu.

I need a SWAP.

Copy, Nancy-Bravo.
Speed and altitude?

One-thirty knots at 8,200.

Maintain southwest heading,
climb to 11,000.

Copy that. Eleven thousand.
Thank you, tower.

We'll get up over this.

Jesus!

- f*ck, Paul!
- Hold on.

Christ.

Stacy!

- Wait, where was she?
- Five blocks from here.

Middle of the day.

Politicians in this city
have guilted us into chaos.

Michael wants us
to move to Connecticut.

- Mm.
- Or just stay in the Hamptons

year-round,
and I'm running out of excuses.

The kids are gone.

He can work from anywhere
these days.

Well, why don't you?

'Cause our marriage
wouldn't last a month.

Oh, stop it.

I'd have to learn
how to cook, for one.

Oh, God forbid, yeah.

And what in the world
would we talk about?

All of our friends are here,
the ones

- that haven't moved to Florida.
- Yeah.

Hmm. This is my city.

It has gone to hell before.

It will come back.
It always does.

Now, you, on the other hand,

how you keep your mountain man
in Manhattan,

that is a trick
that you must show me.

Our daughters is the trick.

He would never leave them,

and he will never get
the girls to leave, so...

- No.
- No, he just, as long as he gets

his little escapes.

But you have to wonder
why we choose to live

in a place we need to escape.

Because there's no stock
exchange in Telluride, my dear.

Whenever I see Michael
looking at properties online,

I just, I just remind him
how far that is

from Yankee Stadium,
and that usually does it.

You'd have to stock
the Hudson with trout

to entice mine.

Just buy him a little cabin
in the Catskills.

I think they invented
fly-fishing there.

It's just three hours away.

He can go there
whenever he wants.

It's easier to get there
than the Hamptons.

You realize all we ever
talk about is leaving.

- It's all anyone talks about.
- Well, of course we do.

We're New Yorkers. What else
are we gonna talk about

if we can't complain
about our city?

- Hmm.
- Hmm?

Do we know anyone in Idaho?

The Greenbergs have
a house in Sun Valley.

Yeah, Preston didn't call me
last night.

I'm just gonna, um...

Hello?

Is this Mrs. Clyburn?

It is.

Who's this?

I'm Officer Shepherd with
the U.S. Department of Forestry.

Yes?

Is your husband Preston Clyburn?

Yes.

Ma'am, your husband was involved
in a plane crash on a mountain

called Borah Peak.

Uh, can I... is...

Can I speak to him?
Is he all right?

No, ma'am.

I'm sorry to say
both he and a Paul Clyburn

did not survive the crash.

Stacy?

Uh, ma'am?

What do I do? What do I...

Well, ma'am,
we'd like you to come here

and identify the bodies.

Help arrange transport
to wherever you choose

as their resting place.

Hi. This is Stacy's friend.
What's happened?

Uh...

Okay, uh, just let... uh, um...

Let me get that.

Uh...

Uh, I-Idaho Falls.

Is there an airport?

Okay. Okay.

Oh, honey.

I'm so...
- I just, just...

just-just let me...

I'll get the car.

Mom.

They just think it's him.
They don't know.

- Paige.
- What? They don't.

- Please.
- They look like pilgrims.

Where are we?

Hey.

I texted and I left a message.

This is a little more important
than school, don't you think?

I can't include you in decisions
when you do not respond.

I will tell you why.

Because he is my f*cking father
and they are my children.

When people talk about
life-altering events,

they are talking about this.

Then get on a plane
and come get them.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

Would you like to check in
at the hotel?

Deal with the rest
in the morning?

Take me to the coroner.
I want to get this over with.

- Would you like some music?
- I would not.

Okay.

Do we all go in?

I don't know. Uh...

Let me get the lay of the land.

Ma'am,

we're very sorry for your loss.

Walk me through this.

You knew the brother as well?

- I did.
- The state requires

that remains
be positively identified

by a relative or close friend.

Someone with enough familiarity
to make visual recognition.

Won't take long.

There's no other way?

I mean, clearly,
you know who it is

or you wouldn't have known
to contact me.

We found a phone, ma'am.

That does not
positively identify a body.

But why else
would he have the phone?

I don't make the laws, ma'am,
but I do have to enforce them.

You're gonna force me.

Before he left, he kissed me.

And he smiled,

and that is the last image
of him in my mind.

If...

If I go in there and see what...

happened to him,

that is the last image
in my mind.

Forever.

I'll do it, Mom.

No.

No, you won't.

Which is which?

We don't know.

Paul.

What's wrong with fingerprints?

How dare you?

Show me what you showed her.

He had a will?

- Yes.
- Life insurance?

- Yes.
- I hate to ask

- these things, but...
- We, we're taken care of.

What about a funeral?

I don't know.

The ranch, maybe.

I guess I'll take care
of his brother as well.

He didn't...
he doesn't have anyone.

Then you'll never be able
to visit him, Stacy.

I'll close my eyes
when I want to visit him.

What are you gonna do
with this cabin?

- It's not my cabin.
- It's your cabin now,

and if you sell it, then
you can't visit him anywhere.

Think about that.
Bring him home, honey.

Okay, this is too much.

It's too many decisions
for one day.

- Take a sleeping pill.
- I plan to.

- I'll call you tomorrow.
- Okay.

We were thinking
a slumber party.

Come on in.

Come on.

There's bound to be
some shitty pizza in this town.

You think?

I hope so.

Girls, can you ninja up
some Netflix on the TV?

For you.

Oh. God bless you.

Nothing
teaches you to self-medicate

like a good divorce.

What do you want, Grandma?

A comedy.

Uh...

Hmm, how about
A River Runs Through It?

It was Grandpa's favorite movie.

A river may run through it,

but I've never actually
gotten through it.

So, in honor of him.

You've come to the right place.

Uh... Pizza. Can you find some?

- Pizza?
- Yeah.

- Yeah. I'll...
- And ice cream.

Uh, what flavors?

Dazzle us with options.

- Done.
- Thanks, Russ.

Is it gonna be sad?

Oh...

It's about fishing.
How sad can it be?

I am haunted by waters.

Thanks, Mom.
I sure feel better now.

Jesus.

It made your father cry, too.

Every time, like a big baby.

Uh, that and, uh, Rudy.

Only men can cry
over fishing and football.

God, for life to be that simple.

You know,

in 39 years of marriage...

we never fought.

Not once.

I mean, we... we-we danced

right to the edge, but...

But we both knew
how-how precious

and how rare what we had was.

I should be happy
that he died out here...

doing something
that he loves, not...

tethered to some hospital bed,

like most men waiting to die.

He died living, not existing.

How many could say that?

I hope you find
what we had someday, honey.

I really, really do.

I hope you meet a man
that's worth missing.

I'd just like one
to return my calls.

Oh, God.

We got to work
on your standards.

Do you guys have service?

Are we close?

I don't know.
Never been there before.

We're close, I think.

I guess this is it.

This is it?

This is what the nav says.

Stop.

I've seen that photo.

Okay.

Should we be worried
about bears?

Preston never mentioned bears.

It's very weird.

There's a sink and a shower
but no toilet.

Toilets are outside.

- Outside?
- There's no septic system.

The cabins are too close
to the river.

- That's why we never visited.
- I have

absolutely no idea how you would
get this furniture up here.

Where are you going?

I want to find Preston's cabin.

Well, take this. Be careful.

Uh, what's that?

- Bear spray.
- You said no bears.

I said he never mentioned bears.

I'm taking a bath.

Don't you have dinner

with the girls tonight?

No, um...

Bridgett has some dance,

something in Chelsea
of all places.

As if there aren't


And Paige has some work,

something with Russell
at that...

that new club
they wasted their money joining.

Our money.

They wasted our money
joining it.

I stand corrected.

What are you doing?

I am making coffee.

What time is it there?

I don't know. Five-thirty?

Babe, you'll be up all night.

Well, I try to sleep as little
as possible when I'm here.

You know, at night, the bull elk

come down to the river
and bugle.

- They bugle?
- They bugle.

Kind of a high-pitched,
almost like a whistle,

and it drives
the lady elk crazy.

Oh.

I remember
when you used to bugle.

I can still bugle.

Well...

it's more like a trombone
these days,

but hey,
I am no spring lady elk,

so trombone
is just fine with me.

How do you make coffee?

I-I thought you said
you didn't have electricity.

Well, there's electricity,
just no outlets.

You know, we got a light
over the porch

and light over the table.

Huh.

You didn't answer my question.

Well, I build a fire
in the stove

and fill the pot from the river.

Pour the coffee in the pot,

boil the water,
and there you go.

You can taste the smoke, Stacy.

It's the best cup of coffee
you'll ever have.

Oh, my God.

Oh, honey, I think
you are romanticizing this

to the point
of physical impossibility.

Maybe you should
just wash the pot.

Well, technically,
it's a percolator.

- Ah.
- And if you'll ever come here,

I'll make you a cup.

The best you'll ever have.

If you really wanted me
to come there,

you and your brother
would build a bathroom.

It has a bathroom.

Inside the house.

God, you're spoiled.

The conveniences have
become your necessities.

We went camping once
a long time ago,

or have you managed
to block that out?

No, no, no, no.
That was not camping.

That was an excuse
to get you in a tent.

I had planned nothing

past the sex.

Well, you married
a city mouse, honey.

City mice stay in the city.

You need to see it, Stace.

Just once.

I do. I do see it.

Every time you send
a picture of you

and some traumatized trout.

Nah, it's not the same.

Oh.

Girls?

Girls?

Where are you going?

- We just want to check it out.
- Well, don't climb on anything.

Watch out for snakes.

- Are there snakes?
- I don't know,

so you probably
should watch out for them.

What in the world?

Uh, I found a motel

about an hour away.

Does not look great.

We could drive
into Bozeman or Helena.

Everything seems to be about
two hours from everything else.

How long you think
she wants to stay?

Gonna go find out.

Mom?

Mom?

What's that?

Coffee maker.

- It is?
- Think it's done.

You want some?

Why not?

He sat here and called me.

Right here.

Talked about fish.

And I'd pretend like I cared.

He was right.

Not the same in pictures.

I never came with him because...

I thought I'd be bored.

Or, uh, you know, a third wheel.

I didn't want
to interrupt his man time,

his brother time.

I thought about bringing you two
out when you were younger.

But then, you know,
it's not a vacation for him.

It's a, it's a trip,

and he's worried about pleasing
you and not himself, and...

Wow, was I wrong.

I robbed us of this.

I robbed him
of sharing it with us.

Please don't do that.

Do not blame yourself
for things that you didn't do.

You had a loving marriage
for 40 years in New York City.

I mean, they should build
a statue of you two.

Miss him.

God knows I will.

But no blame.

You two did it right.

It's getting late.

Motel's a hike.
We can come back in the morning.

Mm...

I'm gonna stay here.

Mmm. He was right.

You can taste the smoke.

Hmm.

She's just gonna stay?

And do what? There's not
even a bathroom here.

Oh, I found one.
They're... It's outside.

It's Spartan.

What does "Spartan" mean?

- Rustic.
- Yeah.

There's, like, a hornet's nest
inside the hole.

Adds a certain degree
of difficulty.

She can't stay here.

Okay? It's selfish.

She's acting like she's
the only one who lost somebody.

- He was my father.
- Don't you f*cking dare.

She has been with him
since she was 19.

I've been with him
since I was born. So were you!

We were not with him!

He was present
when we needed something.

When we needed a chauffeur
or a cheerleader.

A therapist. A bank.

You want to mourn something?
Why don't we mourn the time

that we didn't give him?

He was her lover
and her best friend.

It is not the same thing.

You lost the idea of him, Paige,

which you can still have.

- Girls, go back outside now.
- We can hear you yelling.

Oh!

God bless your uncle.

Hey, did I see, uh,
a garden somewhere?

Mm-hmm, by the barn.

- What's in it?
- We didn't check.

- Let's check.
- Mm-hmm.

I'd say you nailed it, with me.

But if that's all he was
to you two...

what a shame, girls.

Kale and, I think, Swiss chard.

I think these are scallions.

Oh, this is thyme.

This... will come in handy.

Nice, right?

Strawberries?

- Wow.
- Wait.

You can just grow them?

Apparently.

I thought they just came
from farms.

Well, that's what this is.
It's an itty-bitty farm.

- Oh.
- I think...

this is spinach.

What's this?

Oh, sh*t!

That's a snake!

Everything okay?!

We're okay! It's okay.

He's more scared of you
than you are of him.

Okay, let's just go over here.

Oh!

All right.

Lesson learned.
Less is more with this stuff.

Ooh.

When was the last time
you saw one of those, girls?

One of what?

Sunset.

Can't remember?

Nah, me neither.

There must be a nice
grocery store around here,

because Paul has every cheese
on the planet.

I sent a package.
Your father likes to rough it,

but he doesn't like to starve.

- Somebody grate the Parmesan?
- Uh, we got it here.

What are you making?

Polenta.

How are you making polenta?

You just boil cornmeal, honey.

I-I don't think polenta
has corn in it.

That's all polenta has.

Just corn and liquid and cheese.

- I think that's grits.
- Yes.

Grits and polenta
are the same thing.

Mother, they make grits
in Alabama.

You're telling me it's the same
thing as the dish from Italy?

It's the exact same thing.

Just finish it
with different toppings.

If it has different ingredients,
it's a different dish.

- Can somebody pour me some wine?
- Like,

they're making the same thing
in Birmingham

that they're making in Florence?

With different cheese.
That's the only difference.

Okay. I'm not
gonna argue with you

because you're in mourning,
but the time will come

where I will tell you
how wrong you are.

Um...

Oh, that looks great.

Yeah, um...

I don't think this is beef.

- What? It's beef.
- Yeah, it didn't,

it didn't cook like beef,
it doesn't smell like beef.

Look at me. It's beef, okay?

For tonight, it's beef.

Okay.

Um, but w-what-what...
what is it really?

It said "elk,"

but the world
doesn't need to know that.

Why?

Do you think the, uh, you think
the world would, uh, r-revolt?

How do you think
your wife would react?

Um, yeah,

not, uh, not good?

- Multiply that by four.
- Right.

Okay, so, should I slice it?

No, I think you should just do
whatever you think will make it

- look more like beef.
- Okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,

I got it. Got it.

Can I have more of the steak?

Mm. You bet, honey.

Me, too, please.
You're a really good cook.

- Thanks.
- Steak's really good, honey.

Thank you.

- Do you girls want more grits?
- It's not grits.

- It's polenta.
- All right, you and I

can agree to disagree, but
I'm not lying to my children.

- They're my children.
- They're my nieces.

You know what I mean.
They're basically my children.

They're not even
kind of your children,

but if you want them
to be your children,

you can get them to dance
on Tuesday and Thursday

and then take them
to f*cking Paramus

at eight in the morning
for gymnastics.

Fine.

"The children."
I'm not lying to the children.

I don't see why not.
I'm lying to mine.

Are you enjoying the elk, Paige?

The what?

It's elk.

Elk? Like the deer?

No, no, not a deer.

- The big deer?
- No, it's a different species.

It's kind of like
grits and polenta,

- according to your logic.
- It has big horns

and hooves,
and it was roaming around freely

until your brother-in-law
shot it.

That's what I'm eating?

I'm not sure
that they have hooves.

Did you know?

You knew. I can f*cking tell.

You knew, and you cooked it,

and you were just gonna
let me eat it?

I think it's really good.

- Mom.
- What do you think

is gonna happen to all the food
in this house, Paige?

It's gonna get eaten
or it's gonna rot.

I didn't k*ll the thing.

Your uncle will never
k*ll another one.

I suppose we could
throw it all away.

And then it's nourishing

some raccoon or worms or...
I guess.

Or it can nourish us.

Which is what it's doing.

When's the last time
you cooked a meal, Paige?

Not reheated one,
not microwaved one.

We picked that from a garden.

Your uncle took that
from somewhere around here.

The cornmeal is in a jar.

Did he make that? Maybe.

Everything we ate
came from this...

this little world
that your father adored.

We made a meal
from this place together.

I think it's beautiful.

I think it's perfect.

And I know
your father would, too.

I wonder who has to die for us
to make another meal together.

Ah, so... Good night.

I wonder if that stuff works.

I guess.

So long as the wind
is at your back.

Good point.

What are you reading?

A journal.

Your father kept a journal here.

Twenty-five years.

Uh, what's it say?

Talks about, um, which river,

and then it says
to crack a window

when lighting the stove
in a wind.

Uh, there's a downdraft
that pushes the smoke

back into the cabin.

It's half diary, half...

how-to guide.

Then there's this...

about me.

There's a, um, spot upriver...

and he calls it Stacy's Valley.

The elk don't graze there
for some reason,

so the grass grows tall
and it's yellow,

and it reminds him of my hair.

I-I need to know...

his last little secret.

How can I say goodbye
when there's still...

more to know?

So, tomorrow morning,

I'm gonna get up...

and I'm gonna find
this little valley.

And then I'm gonna bring
your father here.

And I'm gonna bury him there.

And then I'm gonna
take this book,

and I'm gonna visit

every place he wrote about.

And you can tell me I'm crazy,
you can say I need to move on,

I have a whole life ahead of me
and all that sh*t.

I am 65 years old.

I don't have a whole life
ahead of me.

I have a very small window
to be reckless,

to make decisions that feed this

and never factor this
into the equation.

And that's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna do what he begged me
to do for 30 years.

I'm gonna finally see
this place.

Want some company?

I'd love some.

Well, then I'll see you
in the morning.

Okay.

Poor choice of footwear
in retrospect.

Okay.

I, personally, for the record,

feel that we are underdressed,
unarmed and just...

generally unprepared
for any kind of

exploratory venture afoot.

"Afoot."

I didn't know they taught
the Queen's English at Brown.

Well, they do. I mean,
I didn't actually study it,

but the-the course does exist.

Ah. And the world is
a better place for it, Russell.

Let's go find this spot.