01x02 - The Golden Baboon Head

[bunniefuu]

[baboon head roars]

[Russ panting]

[baboon head roars]

[growling]

-This day could not get any weirder!

-[panting]

[all panting]

[whimpers]

[growling, roars]

We need to get you three out of here

rather urgently.

Where's the exit?

[pants] I-It's over here.

-[panting, grunts]

-[yelps] Stop! That's the wrong way.

-[all panting, gasp]

-[Russ yells]

[laughing]

First, angry baboon heads,

now creepy dolls?

-I officially hate the restricted wing.

-[thudding]

-[screams]

-[baboon head clomping, grunting]

[whimpering]

[growling, roars]

[roars]

Why is it so angry?

And why is it only a head?

And what's wrong with only being a head?

[baboon head growls]

Perhaps we can calm it.

I've read about such techniques

on how to soothe wild animals.

Then do it.

I'll, uh, try. But I will need one of you

to distract it so I can get close enough.

-[baboon head growls]

-[whimpers]

Uh-- Uh,

maybe a fellow monkey will do the trick.

[growls, roars]

[music playing]

[roars]

-[music continues]

-[sniffing]

[whimpers]

All is well, my golden friend. Easy now.

It's working.

Hmm?

-[horn blasts]

-[growling]

Oh! [grunts]

Stanley!

[roaring]

[groans]

Uh, not what we intended.

But the coast is clear.

[chuckles]

[panting]

[Pandora] Oh, no. We left the door open.

Oh, it's in the house.

[panting]

Come on!

Uh, it was suggested long ago

we never leave the restricted wing.

How long have you been down there?

Well over a hundred years.

Your predecessors felt

we would draw too much attention.

They're not wrong. Look at us.

Yeah, that is a good point.

Maybe we should think about-- [grunts]

There are new sheriffs in town,

and we order you to come out.

-Uh.

-An order's an order.

[sighs]

Thank you. This means a lot.

Where do you think it is?

[baboon head growls]

It could be anywhere.

Th-This is an enormous house.

Then where do we start?

On my old pirate ship--

You were a pirate?

Oh, heavens. Do not get him started.

We'll talk later.

Anyway, when we had a stowaway,

we'd search deck by deck.

First thing we need to do is make sure

it hasn't already jumped overboard.

-Hmm?

-Mm-mmm.

Basically, we need to make sure

it has not left the house.

Oh.

[Stanley grunts, sighs]

I cannot remember

the last sunset I've seen.

Didn't realize how much I missed it.

Hmm.

Okay, come along.

[both grunting]

[baboon head growling]

-[lock clicks]

-[sighs] That's the last one.

Good, step one complete.

No doors open. No windows broken.

It's definitely still

in the house with us.

-[gasps]

-That's great.

Step two, we need to go cabin by cabin,

clearing every nook and cranny

for potential hiding spots.

So it's like

our hide-and-seek games with Dad.

Only this time,

we're the ones doing the seeking.

And the thing hiding is trying to maul us.

It's getting late.

To cover more ground,

let's divide and conquer.

Kids, you're staying with me.

We'll take this side of the house.

And I-I-I suppose

we will take these rooms over here.

And, uh, what exactly do we do if we find

this incredibly dangerous beast?

Uh, we figure out a step three.

[gulps]

[whimpers] Phew.

This room is clear. Everyone out.

[gasps]

It's been so long since I've been out,

I don't recognize anything anymore.

These modern contraptions, they--

they look like t*rture devices.

-[strains]

-This is nothing.

You should have seen the stuff we had

on the ship.

-[straining, yelps]

-[metal clangs]

[roars]

[grunts]

Larry! Are you okay?

I'm fine. Come on.

[panting]

[Sky] Wow. I assume it went that way.

Yes, help clear this. [grunts]

-[grunts]

-[grunts]

Oh, great. It got away.

Where did it go now?

[all gasp]

-[Stanley sighs]

-Hmm?

I think I might know.

[Sky] The electric panel.

Uh, it obviously came through here.

No way we're getting that fixed

before morning.

Looks like it's gonna be a long,

dark night.

Hmm.

[groans] I really don't like

the idea of being trapped

in the same house with that thing.

Should we call animal control?

They removed a rabid squirrel

from Debbie Kwadra's attic.

That's not really an option.

And so, we need to be very cautious

about who we share any of this with.

That is very true. You need to be careful.

There are many nefarious types

that would be extremely interested

-in the contents of the restricted wing.

-Mmm.

-Then how are we going to catch Fangs?

-"Fangs"? You named it?

[chuckles] 'Course, I name everything.

-Isn't that right, Flashy?

-[sighs]

Perhaps we could construct

some kind of netting or cage

to lure it into?

Too bad they don't make a mouse trap

for cursed baboon heads.

[gasps] That gives me an idea.

Stanley, Larry, you come with me.

Wait, what about us?

No way. With that thing out there,

it is too dangerous.

-[grunts]

-Oh, come on.

You're safer here. As soon as we leave,

barricade the entrances.

Will do.

-[Stanley] Oh.

-Hmm.

[door opens]

Look for an old dog crate,

white with a black handle.

-[grunting]

-Ooh. [grunts]

[grunts]

So, what do you, uh, think of these three?

I like 'em. They got spunk.

Yes, something about them feels different.

Oh… [inhales sharply] …Alex,

you never throw anything away.

Please don't be gone.

[Stanley] I found it!

-[grunts, strains]

-[crunching]

Mmm. Mmm.

How can you think of food

at a time like this?

Uh, we haven't eaten since breakfast.

Whoa.

Breakfast seems like a hundred years ago.

Our lives have completely changed

since this morning.

[sighs]

First, Dad turns into a statue,

and now a statue comes to life.

They have to be connected, right?

Ugh, my brain hurts so bad

I honestly don't know anymore.

I already miss Dad.

[sighs] I do too.

We're gonna see him again, right?

I mean, we're gonna figure out

some way to get him back.

I hope so.

My guess is,

if this curse wanted to k*ll him,

it would've k*lled him.

Turning him to stone

feels more like a punishment.

So, you think he's still alive?

I don't wanna even consider

the alternative.

Sounds like he's in a sort of prison.

Kinda, yeah.

Then we need to break him out. But, how?

Not sure.

But I've been mulling something over

Dad said in his message.

That we have to make right by these items.

Yeah. No clue what he meant by that.

Me neither. How do you make right

by an angry baboon head?

-[door rattles]

-[both gasp]

[pounding on door]

Kids, let us in.

-[thudding sounds]

-[whimpering]

[panting]

-[sighs]

-I like the jacket, Mom.

Thanks.

We got the cage to catch it in.

Now we just need to lure it in somehow.

We'll need some bait.

Does it like sweet chili ranch?

Who knows what it likes?

It's a disembodied monkey head.

Where could we even research

something like that?

I know just the place.

[Sky] Glad it didn't take out the power

down here.

[grunting] Perhaps these would help.

They are Cornelius Vanderhouven's

expedition journals.

-Somewhere in that mess…

-Hmm.

…of notes and scribbles, are documentation

of every artifact in this house.

[Russ] "Bronze necklace, Siam, 1887.

Inuit walrus carving, Alaska, 1879."

These aren't even in chronological order.

It's like he just picked pages at random.

[groans] Yes, the Vanderhouvens'

lack of organizational skills

have been apparent from the beginning.

Larry and I have been trying

to catalog those things for years.

Yeah, we'd have a better chance

juggling jellyfish during a typhoon.

Trust me, I've tried.

Let's get started.

We have a lot to get through.

Oh, books.

Yes, books.

The answer is in there,

and we're going to find it as a team.

I'll go back upstairs

and keep my eye peeled for old fang face.

[grunts]

Hmm?

[gasps]

[hatch door opens]

[hatch door closes]

-[groans] I need a break.

-[yawns]

[groans]

[gasps] Get off my dad, you dumb plant.

[straining]

[Stanley] You know, this will,

unfortunately, just grow back.

This incorrigible briar

winds all through the mansion.

I know, it's not called Briarstone Manor

for nothing.

But it doesn't mean

it can grow all over my dad.

[straining, grunts]

[sighs]

Is that an hourglass?

[Stanley] It is.

What's it keeping time for?

Well, I was trying not to overwhelm you

all at once,

but it's the timekeeper

for your family's curse.

Really? How does it work?

As soon as one family member

turns to stone,

the hourglass flips,

and the sand starts to fall

for the next member of the bloodline.

So that sand that's falling now,

it's falling for Russ?

Yes, and after Russ…

[gasps] How do we stop it?

No one knows.

That's what every Vanderhouven has tried

to figure out since the beginning.

[whimpers]

But look,

just because it hasn't been done…

[stammers]

…doesn't mean it cannot be done.

[Russ] Eureka! I think I found something.

Look at this old photo.

Recognize anything?

That looks just like Fangs.

Maybe that's where he's from.

Hey! Better come up here.

Something's happening.

-[bell ringing]

-[panting]

-[Stanley groans]

-[Larry] What's going on with this thing?

[Russ] It's the old bell system.

It's how they used to call the house staff

to different rooms.

-Whoa, the future.

-[gasps]

Something's triggering it

from the music room.

-That must be where it is.

-Time to test out our trap.

And you are not leaving us behind

this time.

We're a team.

[inhales sharply] Okay.

[scraping]

But we never figured out

what to use as bait.

[crunches, scoffs]

What? They're delicious.

Honey, I love the effort, but… [chuckles]

…I'm not sure that thing even eats.

-Then what if we scare it in?

-[winding]

[music playing]

[gasps]

[music stops]

Huh.

[fuses]

[sighs] It's not in here. If it were,

that would have freaked it out.

Where else could it be?

The door was closed,

and the bell rang from this room.

M-Maybe it's broken?

[bell rings]

-It works fine.

-[bell rings]

-[Pandora, Russ gasp]

-It's in another room.

I'll go check which one.

[grunts]

It's in the game room.

[panting]

When I give the word. Three. Two…

Oh, uh, stop, it's in the ballroom.

[stammers, sighs]

h*-Hold on, now it's in the family room.

Something's not right.

[panting]

[bell ringing]

It just went from the gym

to Pandora's room.

Ooh, it better not touch any of my stuff.

But those rooms are on two different

floors, that'd be impossible.

Unless…

The bell system works

by a series of cables

that run from the various rooms

in between the walls,

converging here in the kitchen.

The baboon head isn't pulling the bells

from inside the room,

it must somehow be tripping them

from within the walls.

-[roaring]

-[screaming]

[exclaims]

[roars]

Why didn't it attack us?

Follow that head.

[all panting]

Look, a footprint. Or the "fangprint"?

I mean, "fang-feetprint"?

[stammers] Whatever, it went that way.

-[groaning, whimpering]

-[Fangs growls]

If any of these animals also come to life,

I'm leaving this house

and never coming back.

We can't give it another chance to escape.

We have to capture this thing. Now.

Then it looks like we've gotta go in there

and catch it ourselves.

Let's do this.

Not you. Me. I'll do it.

But we're a team, remember?

I've told you, it's too dangerous.

It's more dangerous if you do it alone.

Mom, let us help you.

Don't worry.

I've got this.

[door creaks]

[Sky breathing heavily]

[armor squeaking]

Come on out, little fella.

We know you're in here.

[breathing heavily]

[shouting, groaning]

[grunting, groaning]

Mom, are you okay?

[grunting, panting]

-[Fangs growls]

-[gasps]

[growls]

[gasps]

[grunts, pants]

[growls]

-[gasps, yelps]

-[growling]

-Mom!

-[gasps]

-[groans, grunting]

-[roaring]

-What are we gonna do?

-I don't know.

[groaning, panting]

Think.

Too much thinking, not enough doing.

We gotta roll.

[groaning continues]

Roll?

Roll.

Attack! [grunts]

[gasps, sighs]

-[grunts]

-[growling]

[breathes heavily, grunts]

Nice thinking, kid.

That's how you win a head-to-head matchup.

[growling]

So, now that we caught it,

what do we do with it?

Perhaps if we calm it down,

it'll go back to sleep again.

-[roars]

-[yells, grunts]

It's done being calm,

it really just wants to be out of there.

Why? Where would a baboon head even go?

-[Fangs growling]

-Home.

-Huh?

-Think about it.

It could have attacked me in the kitchen,

but it didn't.

It's been trying to escape

this whole time.

And where would you go

if you'd been locked up all these years?

Home.

You might be onto something.

It doesn't belong here.

None of the artifacts do.

They were all taken from somewhere else.

Maybe we need to return it

back to its original temple.

If we do that,

maybe we can reverse the curse.

If this curse was created

by Cornelius doing wrong,

it only makes sense that it could be fixed

by us doing things right.

[Sky] Looks like we're taking this thing

back to the Congo.

[creatures roaring]