01x11 - Episode 11

[bunniefuu]

♪

What?

- I'm happy.

It's important you know
how happy you make me.

♪

- What happened last year?

Um, I'm sorry.

Is it okay that I'm asking?

- Yeah.

It's alright.

I was doing this job

in, uh, in California.

It was really tough.

Just long days and--

The director was a bit of an arsehole

and I was smoking a lot
and I couldn't sleep

and I got pretty rundown

and I had to drop out of the film
in the end.

And it just felt like everyone was

disappointed.

- That sounds hard.
- Yeah.

Melissa and I weren't really in touch.

Um--

She'd been away.

And then we both go back to Dublin

and we just kept arguing and--

And we had this weird row about kids.

Um, I think she sort of just announced it,

"I don't want babies,"
this sort of grand statement thing,

felt like she just discovered.

And I was like,

"Well... f*ck.

"I do.

I thought that was the plan."

I said things I regret.

And then

I just couldn't get up.

I'd sleep all the time.

Wouldn't eat.

I think she thought
that I was punishing her

and, you know, it was about her,

I was doing it to her, you know.

But, um, it was pretty clear soon

that I was, uh,

sick, I guess.

And she really tried,

you know, getting me to the doctor
and a counselor or whatever.

But I just... like, I wouldn't go.

Um--

I was admitted to, um, hospital

for, um,

six weeks, I think.

And then she messaged
she started seeing someone.

A friend of ours.

And she told me about it

and she said she wanted a divorce.

And think I just
didn't really do anything actually.

I didn't react, um,

and she was crying and I was just

trying to thank her for helping me

and-and she just lost it.

Broke down.

She'd been really, really scared.

I hadn't noticed that
and thought about that.

She was so guilty about everything.

And we talked... for ages

and said sorry, both of us,

I mean, properly and

agreed to keep living together
in separate rooms

just until we could
figure something out, you know.

I started working again,
exercising, reading,

walking the dog.

She stopped seeing Chris,
who was the guy and--

Yeah. Life sort of got to be

yeah, okay,

I guess.

I was functioning, but I felt... pathetic.

Worthless.

Just a waste of everyone's time.

And that's where I was at when I met you.

It was really hard to believe

that you actually had
any interest in me, Frances.

- I didn't know
you were feeling like that.

- No.

Well--

I like trying to be this cool person
you thought I was.

Hmm.

Don't get carried away now.
No one said the word "cool."

I know you felt that
I wasn't expressive enough.

I just found it so hard.

- It sounds like I'm making excuses.
- No.

I'm not expressive either.

I feel like I was
really cold sometimes, and

I could never seem
to actually express what I felt

and I--

Yeah.

For the record,

you make you really happy too.

♪

Do you still want children?

- Yeah.

But

that's off the table.

- You don't know.

You're still young.

What?

I think you'd be a great dad.

You have a kind nature.

And you're very loving.

- We have to talk about something else
or I'm just gonna cry.

♪

♪

Where are you meeting your mum?

I'll walk you.

- You wanna meet my mum?

Yeah.

Is that alright?

- Okay.

♪

♪

- Hi.
- Frances.

Um, this is my friend Nick.

Nick, this is my mother, Paula.

- It's lovely to meet you.

- Famous Nick. Yeah.

- Frances showed me your picture
but you're more handsome in person.

- Oh, my God. Mum.

- And younger.
- That's very kind.

- Okay.

Will you, um, will you join us for dinner?

Thank you. I have to go.

But maybe another time.

Sure.

Good luck tomorrow.

Will you call me after?
- Yeah.

Okay.

- I'll see you then. Enjoy.
- Bye.

- Thank you.

- Do you wanna sit? Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

Hey.
- Hey. How's Paula?

- Yeah, she's good.

She was asking after you.

- She's staying at Vicky's?

Hmm.

- You okay?

Yep. I'm just tired.

- You sure?

You want some tea?

Wine?
- No, I'm okay.

- You should go to bed.

- It was funny seeing you
like that yesterday.

You looked like a real grown-up.

You look very elegant together.

Like film stars.

- Um, that's Nick.

He's glamorous.

- So,

are the two of you together then?

- I don't really have
a straightforward answer to that, Mum.

- You're a wild woman.

- I learned from the best.

- I'm no match for you, Frances.

- Frances Flynn?
- Yeah.

No fibroids, no cysts.

Nothing life-threatening.
Your ultrasound is clear.

So that's the good news.

Have you heard of endometriosis, Frances?

It's a condition where cells
from inside the uterus

grow elsewhere in the body.

These cells are benign,
as in they're noncancerous,

but endometriosis is complicated.

It's difficult to diagnose
and there's no cure as such.

It's not uncommon.
One in ten women suffer from it.

There are surgical interventions,

but they're only really necessary
in particularly severe cases.

So our focus right now is pain management

and preventing it
from becoming debilitating.

Um--

There's one other thing.

- Right.

Unfortunately, this can lead

to fertility issues for some women.

- Right.

- But there's much more
we can do about that.

Now, this really doesn't mean
what it used to.

♪

Can I ask if you're trying to conceive
or planning to in the near future?

- No.

Uh, I mean,
that's not something I'm currently, um--

No.

♪

♪

♪

♪

She said, "All clear."

- So does clear mean-- What, like--

- It's just like bad period pain, I guess.

- Seemed like it was more than
bad period pain, Frances.

- Well, apparently not.
- But you were practically fainting.

- I'm just telling you what she told me.

- Well, did-did she mention
any treatments or--

- Uh, yes. She said
switching my pill might help.

Frances?

Did the doctor say something else?

- No.

That was it.

- Okay.

Bobbi?

Hi.

Hey. You okay?

- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

I've been calling you.

- Sorry. I ran out of battery.

How did it go?

Frances?
- Yeah, it was fine.

Uh, just bad periods.

Really? And that's all?

- Yeah.
- Oh.

Well, that's good, right?

I mean, not good that you're in pain,

but it's good it's not, you know,
anything more complicated or--

I'm not helping.
- You are, it's fine.

Um, I feel stupid for making such a fuss.

You didn't make a fuss.

- Well, I know my mother
enjoyed meeting you.

I enjoyed meeting her.

She seems great.

- Yeah, she's a cool lady.

What?

I heard you do that thing

where you breathe in
'cause you're about to say something.

I mean--

It's fine, um--

Actually, it can wait.

- No. What? What is it?

My timing is, uh--

- Okay, what--

You have to say it, Nick.

Melissa and I kissed. Uh--

Actually, we slept together.

I feel weird telling you
about it on the phone.

Frances?

Are you there?

- Yeah. I'm here. I heard.

I didn't mean to tell you like this.

- It's alright.

Okay.

- Uh, I better get back to--

Talk soon.

Nick and Melissa
are sleeping with each other again.

- Okay. Is that a problem for you?

- Well, I think it's reasonable
to need to process that information.

- We kissed.

- That's different.

- Okay.

- I have to go.

♪

...reaching for his own legacy

his own quest to put his name
to ancient mythologies.

Joyce in turn was not behind the door...

...in admitting that his writing contained
"the intentionality of literary allusions"

and clues to puzzles that he predicted

would have academics talking
about his work for the next century.

And here we are.

What you might have
assumed to be arrogance

is now, with hindsight, a prophecy.

♪

- Are you okay?

- Yeah.

Um, thanks.

♪

♪

Well, it's good to see you.

- Hmm.
- Hmm.

- Hey.
- Hello, there.

Hey.

- Happy birthday.

Thank you.

- Are you having a nice time?

- Yeah, I am, actually.

Do you wanna come in and--

- Uh, if you need to go mingle, then--

You okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- Good.

- I mean, I am having some difficulty

processing the whole...
f*cking your wife thing.

- Okay.
- And possibly it's just the timing,

because, like, I saw you the day before.

You felt you had to
tell me all about it, so--

Did you call me
with your d*ck still inside of her

or was there a gap?

- Can we talk about this properly, please?

Not here.

- We're leaving. Happy birthday.

- You don't have to stay,
but you on the other hand--

- Happy birthday, man.
- Thanks.

- Frances, this is my sister, Laura.
- Hi, Frances.

- Hi.
- And Jim.

Hi. We met at Melissa's.

Yeah. Hello.

- And this is my niece.

Maybe my favorite human.

- Oh.
- Hey, Rachel.

- We're invisible to Nick now.

- She's really cute.

- Isn't she?

- Would you like a hold?

- Okay. Sure.

Sorry.

Uh, is that okay?

Aw. You're a natural.

She looks so comfy.

- This is a great baby.

She is.

- Ten out of ten.

Hi, Frances.

- Hi.

I'll take her.

Hey.

- She's lovely.

Yeah, she's a charmer.

We need to get going.

She'll be less charming
if I don't put her into a cot soon.

- Lies.
- Have fun.

It was lovely to meet you, Frances.

Good to see you.

- Cute kid.

How you doing?

- Yeah, fine, thanks.

Um, I'm gonna go.

- Frances?

- This was stupid.
- Can't you stay?

I'll call you tomorrow.

♪

Hey.

Do you want coffee?

Did you... have a good night?

- Melissa showed me your story.

- What? How?

- Were you going to tell me?

- I'm sorry.

- I heard you're getting
good money for it.

- Yeah.
- f*ck you.

- I actually need the money.

I realize that's like
an alien concept to you.

- So f*ck morals and friendship
and honesty then.

- That's not what I meant.

- "She belongs everywhere.

"She never seems to be serious nor joking.

"She can be unrestrained, abrasive.

"She breaks things and treats people,
men, with contempt.

And whatever she wants, she can have."

- It's fiction.

- So why couldn't you show it to me then?

What is wrong with you?

- I'm sorry.

- I don't think you think
anyone else is real, Frances.

Standing in front of
all those people at that party,

all f*cking wounded, kissing me,

and then writing this sh*t
instead of communicating anything.

Even now, you can't.

Your self-obsession is exhausting

and it's hurtful and it's f*cking boring.

"Sometimes when I'm doing something dull,

"like walking home from college...
- Okay.

"...or hanging up laundry,

"I like to imagine that I am her.

"Her wrists are slender
and she has long, elegant hands.

"She has better posture than I do
and a memorably beautiful face.

"I find myself believing
that if I looked like her,

then nothing bad would ever happen to me."

That's so f*cking dehumanizing.

I mean, f*ck, Frances.

Is that really how you see me?

Like, my only role is to move effortlessly
through the world

in contrast to poor f*cking you?

I don't think I can be
your friend anymore.

I don't want you in my life.

♪

Could we talk about it?

There's nothing to talk about.

Frances.

♪

Do you want me to leave her?

♪

♪

- No.

I don't really know, um--

how to do this anymore.

I don't think I'm managing it very well.

- I hate making you so unhappy.

- Maybe we shouldn't
see each other anymore.

- Is that what you want?

- Yeah.

- I love you.

- I know.

♪ k*ller by Phoebe Bridgers playing ♪

♪

♪ Sometimes I think I'm a k*ller ♪

♪

♪ I scared you in your house ♪

♪ I even scared myself by talking ♪

♪ About Dahmer on your couch ♪

♪ But I can't sleep next to a body ♪

♪ Even harmless in death ♪

♪ Plus, I'm pretty sure I'd miss you ♪

♪ And faking sleep to count your breath ♪

♪ Can the k*ller in me ♪

♪ Tame the fire in you? ♪

♪ Is there nothing left to do for us? ♪

♪

♪ I am sick of the... ♪