02x03 - Episode 3

[bunniefuu]

I can confirm that

after 20 years,

the Chelsea Bridge case

has been re-opened.

Questions?

Do you believe that police

incompetence

hampered the investigation?

It was a challenging case,

led by our best officers

at that time.

Any sign of the fifty million?

Not at this time.

John, we can't be in here.

This isn't our case.

Everyone's saying this is the

three Chelsea Bridge robbers.

Well, what if they're wrong?

What if it's two men and a

monkey?

I'm guessing it's you

that laid them out like this.

Where did you get the tail?

I had to borrow some bits

from another tray.

Put them all back where you

found them and let's go.

This was my dad's case, Roy.

I feel like,

if I can make a breakthrough,

he'll be proud of me

like the old days.

How did it go with your dad?

You've not seen him, have you?

We've not spoken in years, Roy.

I'm nervous.

You're the best copper

in SIU, John.

Of course he's gonna be proud.

Jesus, you can't even die

without them bringing you back.

That's the other thing.

He doesn't know about

the back-from-the-dead stuff.

He was at your funeral.

Sure he's going to have

questions, mate.

He thinks I faked my own death

and spent a year undercover.

He doesn't know the AI bit.

He's old-fashioned

about stuff like that.

What do you think? Hey?

I think it's a lot worse.

You know what, Roy?

You were right.

We're not meant to be here,

let's go.

Hidden camera footage

of an unlicensed fight

in East London.

We've known about this scene

for years. It's not ill*gal.

We think there's a new drug

on the scene.

Provokes extreme strength

and aggression.

We found several bodies of fighters

dumped in locations

across the city,

beaten to death.

I want to know more about

these drugs.

Is that the best footage

we've got?

They became suspicious.

I was forced to tuck the camera

inside my clothing.

You filmed this, Boss?

I don't spend my whole life

behind that desk, DI Major.

Do I have your full attention?

Yes, Boss.

Yes, ma'am.

You're my best men.

I wouldn't give this job

to anyone else.

We'll get a result for you, boss.

But first, I want to go

and see my dad.

Bite the b*llet by the horns.

Are you going to tell him

about the AI?

No!

Maybe you should

Cheers mate.

What's the matter, DI Carver?

You seem uncomfortable.

Are you sure this

is the right case for him

right now, boss?

Dr Parfit says

he's degenerating.

And stress just makes it worse.

I'm truly sorry about DI Major,

but my hands are tied.

Resources are limited.

Budgets are being cut

to the bone.

Helicopter's here

to take you to lunch, ma'am.

Be there in five.

Tell him to hover.

Look, I need to use DI Major

before he stops functioning.

Which, from what I'm

hearing, is Pancake Day.

I know it's harsh,

but you don't buy a Porsche

and leave it in the garage.

I should know,

I've got two of them.

Anyway, choppers waiting so

Sorry, boss.

Switch off. Off.

Off!

Elizabeth Churchland,

you've waived your right

to have a lawyer present

for this interview.

There's an excellent

lawyer present.

The Chelsea Bridge g*ng

were found buried

on a plot of land

listed on your computer.

Lawyers hold deeds for people.

Yes, they do. What people?

Hi, Dad. How've you been?

Good, thanks. You?

Hi, Dad. How've you been?

Good, thanks. You?

Dad?

No one's accusing you

of anything.

We're politely asking

for your cooperation.

Churchland, you shyster!

Where's the f*cking diamonds?

Sir, this is a formal interview.

Superintendent Clifford Major,

back to advise

on the Chelsea Bridge case.

I'm Detective Sergeant.

I hope you like prison food,

Churchland.

Because that's what they serve

where you're going.

Prison!

Sir, we value your help

but we're the ones

leading this interview.

This is how we

did things back in my day.

You didn't catch anyone

back in your day.

Christ, this is all we need.

Hi, Dad. How have I been?

And you?

Look at you.

Not dead after all.

Alive and well.

I flew all the way from Spain

for that funeral,

that was a waste of time.

Yeah, sorry.

We'll let you two step outside

for some time together.

No, it'll only take a minute.

So, how's things?

You still seeing that girl?

Kelly?

- My wife?

- Still married?

I thought she might have

dumped you

for a real man by now.

Yeah. We're still married.

Things are

We should get together

for a drink.

Yeah! Great, sounds amazing.

You can come too if you like.

Turning back to Ms. Churchland,

I see you live

in Kensington Gardens.

Can't be that cheap.

Let's be honest officer.

You're clutching at straws.

We have a criminal informant.

I won't mention his or her name

at this time.

It's Cleasby.

- But he or she

- It's a he.

- has promised

more information.

Ah, Major,

could you spare a minute?

Sorry, Dad,

we'll have to catch up later.

No, I meant this Major.

From now on I'll call you

Major senior and Major junior.

- Major and Minor.

- Even better. Thank you.

You should be very proud of him.

Don't worry, he is.

So, let me get this straight,

you've not told your dad

you came back from the dead,

or that you're part-AI, or that

your marriage is over, yeah?

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Apart from that though,

you're all caught up?

Can we do our jobs please,

Carver?

No. Let's not go in

as two bizzies.

We're just two fellas,

interested in the fights.

Roger that.

Terminate! f*ck!

Again, but go rougher!

Eliminate!

When's the next fight, mate?

There's a waiting list.

That's a shame.

Looks like I'm giving all this

to the donkey sanctuary.

Apologies.

You want to place a bet?

- That's right.

- No.

We just said

that to get your attention.

Truth is, I want to fight.

- No, you don't. He's only joking.

- I don't?

What is the plan?

Just give us a minute,

please, mate.

What the f*ck are you doing?

I thought that was the plan.

It's not the f*cking plan.

The plan is to pretend

we're two gamblers.

Oh, right. We should probably

have got this bit straight

before we came in.

If I might interrupt.

It's fairly obvious that you're

both police officers.

- Is that a problem?

- Not at all.

There are no laws

being broken here. Bones, yes.

So you won't mind

if we have your fighters

drug tested, then.

Take your pick.

- Him.

- Him.

Dragan! Come here!

- Why do you do that for?

- Don't know.

Jurgen, could you give

these gentlemen a urine sample?

I assume you have something

to put it in?

This doesn't smell right.

Asparagus.

Why would they co-operate

unless they know

it's gonna come back clean?

Then it's plan B.

I go in as a fighter.

That'd get me in deep.

Oh it'd get you in deep.

What happens when

they kick the sh*t out of you?

I'm an elite cyber-cop Roy.

I've got the strength

and reflexes of a Whoops.

You're not fighting. End of.

- You're not my dad.

- Interesting choice of phrase.

What's that supposed to mean?

This whole fighting thing

is you trying to impress him.

It's not necessary.

We need to nip back

for a refill.

f*cking hell, John.

It's all over my seats!

You went over a bump!

- It stinks as well!

- Very potent.

But in our last session

you said that you feel boring,

that people don't pay

attention to you.

Have you got a minute?

No, John.

I'm committed to my client.

It's about the divorce.

- I'm ready.

- Really?

I've not been listening to you.

But I get it now.

Wow, that's

That's really mature of you.

Thank you.

I'm only asking you to wait

until my dad's gone home.

Your dad's here?

Yeah.

Are you OK with that?

I'm fantastic with it!

It's a chance to re-connect,

after all these years.

Right.

Well if you need me

for anything

Yeah, can you come out

for dinner with us both

and pretend

we're still together?

Also he doesn't know

that I'm part-AI.

Thanks. Oh, I won't touch you.

There's piss on my fingers.

Pick you up at six?

- It's not my piss by the way.

- Great.

- Piss on my fingers.

- OK.

Happy birthday, Roy.

It's not my birthday.

Oh, I think it is.

Remember I said Major

was close to death?

And that you

were giving up on him?

Yeah, rings a bell.

I've got a fix.

Before now,

I focused on software upgrades.

This is a hardware fix.

How does it work?

Basically it enables

tetra-qubit coding

at sub-static data levels.

Are you with me?

- Yeah.

- You're not

because all those words

were made up.

So you just have to trust me.

So he's not going to die?

Won't die, won't screw up,

won't break wind around my lab

even in designated

sterile areas.

He'll basically do

whatever he's programmed to do.

But he'll still be Major?

I see no reason

to change the name.

What about his personality?

What personality?

OK, fine he'll be different.

But hey, that's progress.

Remember when Microsoft got rid

of the little paperclip dude,

"Hey, looks like

you're writing a letter-"

No no no. I'm not gonna let you

k*ll off his personality.

I don't need

your permission, Roy.

Not yet you don't.

But I'm up for promotion,

and when I get it, I'm gonna

use it to keep him safe.

I've signed up Roy!

I'm going to be an MMA fighter!

Oh f*ck me.

I went back to the gym,

they've put me on the books.

Pop pop heah! Takedown!

- What about the drugs?

- The what?

The ill*gal steroids.

The reason we're investigating

the whole scene.

Yeah, I'll be honest

I've actually forgotten about that part.

How did the piss come back?

- Clean.

- There you go,

that's why we need

to do it my way.

Get to the heart

of the organisation.

You're not really gonna

let him do this, right?

Course I'm not.

You can't keep an eye on me

24/7.

- I can.

- No, you can't.

- Yes I can.

- I don't think you can.

- I think I can.

- No! You cannot!

Watch me.

Uuuugh. This is nice.

All my favourite people

together.

I didn't realise

Roy would be joining us.

It was a last-minute thing.

I come over from Spain.

Where does he bring me?

Bloody tapas.

I just thought

No, you're right, stupid idea.

We like it here.

What's going on with your neck?

What neck?

Oh, my neck, Um

You look like a p*nis, son.

Take it off.

I can't. It's

Covering something.

Covering what?

Love bite.

So how are you

finding SIU, Cliff?

What do you think of the place

these days?

Very different.

It's all computers now isn't it?

I found out today,

one of your coppers,

don't know which, is part robot.

Part robot!

I mean Jesus,

what's the world coming to?

Some people'd call it

progress, Dad.

Some people'd call it bollocks.

What?

It's me.

I'm the AI.

You're joking.

You almost look human.

Now you mention it,

there is that dead look

in the eyes

I've been augmented, that's all.

Good for you.

So, who invited

you over Clifford?

I Invited myself.

I heard on the grapevine

they were re-opening my case.

- Come to help.

- Oh yeah,

the case you didn't solve

20 years ago?

I retired 20 years ago, love.

Not my fault if the police

can't function without me.

I need a cigarette.

- You don't smoke.

- Really?

You're picking me up on that?

Excuse me.

Sorry I turned up

unannounced, Kel.

Oh.

No, you're alright, Roy.

Hmm. If anything

I was actually glad

you're here to share the pain.

Why are you pretending

you're still with him?

Why are you pretending

that you're a robot?

Because somehow we always end up

doing what John wants.

Looks like

you're not a big fan of his dad.

Yeah, no, he's a total twonk.

Is he alright

when you get to know him?

Yeah once you get to know him,

he's a complete bellend.

He walked out of John's life

with no explanation really so

So you came to stick up for him.

Yeah No John's agreed

to the divorce.

I actually think this time

he means it, so

- That's good.

- Yeah.

It'd set us both free,

John and I to, uh,

follow a new path.

Roy, why did you

come here tonight?

Just 'cos I came

to babysit John.

Just in case he sh*t!

Here we go.

Don't tell me you're on your way

to that f*cking fight?

You're not his boss, DI Carver.

Cliff, please talk to him, mate,

he'll listen to you.

My dad believes in me, Roy.

Unlike you he thinks

I can do this.

You realise this

won't help us solve the case.

This isn't about the case

anymore, Roy.

Of course, it is,

you f*cking massive twat!

Where's the venue?

You're breaking up, Carver,

I can't hear you.

He only wants what's best for me.

None of my business, but

I saw him talking to your wife

at the bar of the restaurant.

They were cosy.

They're old friends.

I'm sure they are.

Oh, there she is.

We got the hitman

who k*lled the old lady.

Cleasby gave us a name

Nice one, well done-

Where's your tablet thing,

for tracking Major?

You did not let him go

to the fight?

You had one thing to do!

Literally one thing,

don't let him get punched

repeatedly in the head!

It's not too late.

We've still got time.

Right, Kelly, you wait here,

we'll bring him straight back.

- Oh, we'll bring him

- Yeah. Come on.

Thank you

for betting with Drago 365.

Fight commencing.

Global betting closed.

Sorry.

You're up next, against Jurgen.

You should expect a mixture

of Brazilian Ju-jitsu

and Pencak.

You?

Pad Thai, Yahtzee. Bit of Jenga.

Winner Nikita.

I can't believe

you let him do this.

Straight through the tunnel,

make a left.

That thing's connected

to Major's head, right?

Yeah.

So, could you connect it

to someone who wasn't AI?

You know, to make them

more aggressive?

Remote deep-brain stimulation?

Yeah, you could switch hormones

on and off like that.

And it wouldn't show up

in a drug test?

You know I could have told you

that at the beginning, right?

You should trust me

with stuff more often.

Next fighters to the ring.

How are you feeling, Johnny?

Raring to go, Dad.

- I'm gonna make you proud.

- Good lad.

Thank you

for betting with Drago 365.

Next fight commencing

in ten seconds.

Let's go.

Let's go tear him one.

Ladies and gentlemen.

Jurgen Minsky takes on,

Detective Inspector John Major.

Go, Johnny!

Fight commencing.

Global betting closed.

Ah like that is it.

That's what I'm taking about!

Ah sh*t!

John, get up.

Turn that off.

- Now!

- OK, OK, OK.

Coming down, coming down.

Mother f*ck.

I'm arresting you

on suspicion of manslaughter-

Johnny?

It's alright John.

We got them.

All the information we needed

was on the fellas phone.

I love you too, Daddy.

He'll be alright.

Do it.

The hardware thing.

You said you didn't want it.

You said I was turning him

into a robot.

I changed my mind.

Just to re-reassure you,

I was interviewed by the police,

but they've caught nothing.

Hmm.

I'm far

from reassured, Elizabeth.

From what I hear,

Pigtails is in police custody.

Don't worry. An old friend's

taking care of that.

Look we know you're responsible

for the hit at the nursing home.

You're going down

whatever happens.

Just give us some names

and I can

Hello?

Move.