02x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

This is so hard.

Uh

I've been here

before, million times.

The pain never goes away.

I just don't know what to say.

It's a leaving card, John.

Just put

"all the best in your new job."

Yeah.

Are you all right, mate?

Yeah,

just things are getting to me

lately, you know, it's like

sh*t!

Oh, my God.

I'm going to jump.

Don't do it mate. Wait.

Have we got a negotiator?

I'll do it.

No, you won't. Now one of you's

must have done the course?

Some things in life

don't need a course.

Yeah. And this isn't

one of them.

Roy.

I've been there.

I died,

I know what he's messing

with better than anyone.

I'll do it!

Give us a minute!

Sorry.

I've got this.

It's all right mate,

you don't have to do this.

You could talk to someone,

get some therapy.

I've had therapy.

You've seen me having therapy.

Oh. Yeah, right,

that's you, yeah.

How's it going?

How does it look like

it's going?

sh*t.

This isn't the answer

to your problems, pal.

I'm sick of being ignored.

Now I'm centre of attention.

You'll all remember this.

Whoa, whoa, no, no, no.

Whoa, whoa.

I remember you!

I remember you!

I've seen you a few times

in Kelly's office.

Yeah, yeah.

You're an alcoholic, aren't you?

That's confidential actually.

Jeez. Sorry, sorry.

What's all this?

Nothing.

Have you been going

to Kelly's office?

No. No, a couple of times.

What for?

Nothing.

It's not important.

What was he in there for?

I don't know,

but it was emotional.

I think he wanted

Hey! You just said

that's confidential!

You're back together

with her, aren't you?

No, of course not.

I've hardly seen her.

You have.

I've seen you together.

In corners, whispering.

That's to do

with something else.

I couldn't take it

if you were back together.

I couldn't live

with that betrayal.

Not again.

John!

What are you doing?

What the f*ck!

This is just

your emotions again.

There's nothing going on.

Why should I believe you?

I'll tell you why.

Your marriage is over!

We're all free agents,

so if I was seeing Kelly,

then I'd tell you to your face,

because I'd have

nothing to hide, would I?

Yeah. I suppose.

Now get back

over the ledge, you soft twat.

Oh this is high.

Oh. Oh no.

I'm actually struggling a bit.

Can you shuffle round

and give me a hand?

Me?

No, it's dangerous.

You're about to k*ll yourself,

what do you care

if it's dangerous?

Careful!

Pull me up pull me up!

Get me leg over.

Get me leg over.

Steady, steady, steady.

Oh, yeah.

Cheers, pal. You alright?

Oh, my God.

I'm OK.

It's these mood swings

I've been having.

You had us worried there.

Yeah.

That was very high, Roy.

I'll make you a nice cup of tea.

Two sugars?

I'll get myself down

then, shall I?

Witness protection?

Why would we do that,

there's a specialist

Witpro unit.

In this instance the subject

has specifically requested

that you two handle his case.

Oh f*ck.

Don't tell me.

Cleasby? Again?

You're the only officers

he trusts.

If he had any sense,

he'd want protecting from us.

He's a valuable source.

His life is in danger.

Good.

Look it's not difficult,

just give him his new identity,

it's all in here.

I thought I should give you

a simple case. Stress-free.

After all, today's Pancake Day.

What's she on about?

No idea.

Pancake Day.

We don't understand, boss.

Do we?

No.

Pancake Day.

Oh. Oh, you mean my application

for me promotion, boss, yeah?

No.

All right, Carver, we all know

you've got your sights

set on higher things.

That's not what

I'm talking about.

Look, could you

give us a minute, please, mate?

It's all about you,

isn't it, Roy?

Yeah, right now, it is, yeah.

No, I was talking about

how Major's due to die today.

I was being subtle.

Anyway, you wanted to talk to me

about your promotion?

No. I want

to talk about John.

Oh, make your mind up,

DI Carver.

Or should I say,

Superintendent Carver.

Superintendent?

You wouldn't have been

my first choice, Roy,

but the panel saw something

in you that I don't.

Congratulations.

Thanks, boss.

And it's perfect timing,

just in case, you know,

your partner does

No, we can't

give up on him, boss.

There must be something

we can do.

I haven't given up. Dr Parfit

Dr Parfit's useless.

All she's done is build

that shitty little robot.

Searching the web

for pretty little teapot.

If you'll both

just let me finish, please.

Sorry.

Yes, Dr Parfit has let us down.

So I looked

for outside assistance.

Private sector.

You helped when Millikan Biotech

were victims of crime.

So, I asked them

to return the favour.

So which one's the AI?

Hard to tell, right?

I made sure the AI components

conformed to human-

The one with

the USB port in his head?

Yeah there is that.

Jesus. What is he

a PlayStation 2?

It's vestigial.

I've made improvements.

Graphene nanotubes?

Of course.

Convolutional networks?

Naturally.

Sentinel Prime?

Character from Transformers 3.

Oh, DI Carver.

This is

Yeah, we've met.

Right.

Can you fix him?

Yeah.

Good. Because she's been,

no offence, useless.

Literally brought a man back

from the dead.

I'd have

to examine the AI first.

Whoa, whoa.

Don't tell him he's dying.

He doesn't know.

He must've noticed.

The drop in functionality,

the inability

to pursue rational thought.

That's perfectly normal for him.

Yeah.

Also, his dad

doesn't know he's AI.

I told him I'm the AI.

Well, imagine how you'd feel

if you found out your kid

was part-robot.

Totally awesome.

Yeah.

So cool.

So listen, I was wondering

what your plans are

for the weekend.

I've got these vouchers

for Laser Quest

Johnnie, I'm going home.

Back to Spain.

What?

The Chelsea Bridge case,

it's not solved.

I came here to help on the case

and I have done.

But they've got no idea

who the real villain is.

Cleasby said it's probably

someone in the police.

Leave it, John.

Look, who was a powerful figure

in the police?

- Back then

- I said drop it!

Sorry, Johnnie.

Nothing to keep me here now.

John, this is the new AI expert.

She's going to help

with some of your issues.

Hey. Good to meet you.

I want my dad.

Why's he leaving me again?

What did I do wrong?

Wow.

He really is confused.

So what can you do about it?

Some basic neuromorphic implants

should stabilise him.

That simple?

I've never had those resources.

What I do have

is passion and commitment

Great, I'll let you know

when we organise a jumble sale.

Look, I've just been promoted.

So I'm going to have more say

in how things are run

in this department.

So you do this

Sorry, do you need to

f*cking hell!

Sorry

Listen mate, do us a favour.

Stop trying to commit suicide

every five minutes, would ya?

Because I'm such

a disappointment to him.

I mean, here's you,

with your big promotion,

Going nowhere.

This is your mood swings

talking, John.

It'll pass, mate.

Yeah.

Open the door, Carver,

I'm gonna do it.

I can't take it anymore!

Central locker, John.

Lindsay Murdoch?

That's a girls' name.

When it's spelt with an A,

it's a boy's name.

You gave me a girl's name

on purpose.

If I had my way

you'd be Billy Shitpants.

You're Lindsay Murdoch.

Get used to it, Cleasby.

Don't call him Cleasby.

What?

Nobody knows his name's Cleasby.

But we know it is Cleasby.

That's why

I'm calling him Cleasby.

OK, OK!

It's Lindsay Murdoch!

I knew you'd warm

to it, Lindsay.

So what's the deal?

Where do I live? What do I do?

After you,

Lindsay.

Look who it is.

Luke Skywalker and R2D2.

Gilbert and Ryle?

We're called Jamie

and Hilary now.

I'm Jamie, he's Hilary.

Hungry, DI Major?

Here, have a chip.

You know, a chip.

Like in a computer.

Why aren't you two in prison?

We co-operated. Gave information

on other bent coppers.

In exchange for a quiet

early retirement.

Quiet as a mouse.

You know, mouse,

like on a computer

For f*ck's sake Simon,

will you give it

a rest for once?

It's Hilary.

You remember

your old pal Cleasby, don't you?

Stop calling me Cleasby!

Sorry, Cleasby.

You remember

your old pal Cleasby, don't you?

Old pal?

He shot me in the chest.

Oh, this is a f*cking nightmare.

Why would you put me

with these two?

Because these are your

guardian angels from now on.

They want a quiet life,

you want a quiet life.

I think someone's been

watching me.

You're paranoid, Cleasby.

Stop calling me Cleasby!

It's watertight.

I've not told anyone

apart from my dad,

and neither has Carver.

We're professionals.

What?

You told your dad?

Yeah, I've been trying to build

a closer relationship with him.

- He's a cop. He's trustworthy.

- But that's not the point.

Is he?

Is he trustworthy?

We'll soon find out

if he is, won't we?

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, if someone

does k*ll Cleasby,

we'll know

your dad's responsible.

And when no one kills him,

we'll know Dad's clean.

So it's an experiment?

Yeah, if you like.

An experiment? I don't want

to be an experiment.

I want to be relocated.

Again.

So do I.

Not with him this time.

I'm sorry, Simon.

I've had enough.

It's Hilary.

Look, you're all safe, yeah,

stop worrying.

But if anything happens to me,

anything at all, then your dad

will get the blame.

Doesn't seem fair.

What? You mean,

I should make sure

Dad's not the only person

that knows where you are?

- What? No, I don't

- No, no, no, no. No, no.

No, you're right.

I'm not having my dad

get the blame if you get k*lled.

Thanks, Cleasby.

f*cking dickhead.

His name's Cleasby!

Liam Cleasby!

He works in there

and he's on the witness

protection programme!

John, shut up.

What are you doing?

Liam Cleasby! A lot of bad guys

want that information!

Shut up!

That's him! He's here!

Remember that face.

Shut up!

Look, I'm not having you

blame my dad.

I won't blame your dad.

I'll blame you!

Liam Cle-

Not Lindsay Murdoch,

Liam Cleasby!

Sir! That guy

in the coffee shop.

- DI Carver.

- Yeah, Witpro cover blown.

Very dangerous individual.

- Do not go in there.

- At the coffee

Tell everybody you know.

Liam Cleason.

Queen Street, now!

Dozy f*cking gobshite!

Alright, Roy,

you've made your point.

They all need relocating now

just because you couldn't keep

your f*ck big mouth shut.

Look I didn't want you

pinning anything on my dad.

Well, you shouldn't have told

your friggin dad then,

should you!

- Where are you going now?

- f*ck off!

Roxy. Roxy.

The sooner

you sort him out the better.

Slight change of plan there.

But you said you'd fix him.

I said I could.

Didn't say I would.

Well why did you come here

in the first place?

Fact finding expedition.

See If I could pick up

anything useful.

Which I did.

She made me

a very attractive offer.

No, you can't go,

you have got

a commitment to SIU.

To Major.

Why would you want me to stay?

You've said it yourself,

I've been,

"no offence", useless.

Dr Parfit, what can I do?

How can I save him?

f*ck, no. Wait.

Carver, Major.

There's been a hit,

on a witness protection client.

Hospital now!

Is he dead?

No. No thanks to you.

Good.

I'm going to get a Twix.

Gilbert.

What happened?

Have a wild guess.

I got bloody shot, didn't I?

Again.

Where's Cleasby?

Oh, I'm gonna

stop you there, Roy,

we definitely have to call him

Lindsay Murdoch.

That ship's

f*cking sailed, mate.

It happened just after you left.

CCTV footage come through.

Weird-looking guy came in,

Cleasby recognised him.

Oh, not again

Oh, sh*t. He's got a g*n.

Get away!

Oh, not again.

Did you push him?

No.

It looks like you pushed him.

What's he saying?

Nothing.

- Can I have a look?

- No.

Oh chip pan in the face!

Bloody hell.

Look what we missed.

He talking yet?

He said the lawyers name,

Churchland.

Soon as he's lucid

we'll find out

who she's working for.

The hitman's in a bed next door,

they've moved Cleasby

to a secret location.

Good. Where?

No I mean secret from you.

He said not to tell you, ever.

And I don't blame him,

because you're a security threat

who told his dad

where Cleasby was.

I tell Dad

everything about work.

Everything?

Yeah. We've been

helping each other out.

You're an absolute

f*cking bellend!

Kelly was right!

Your dad's bent!

Kelly?

Yeah, she said

your dad was dodgy, right?

And I ignored her because I was

trying to protect you!

Oh Right!

So you have been

talking to Kelly.

Not f*cking half as much

as I should have.

- You

- Yeah, go on.

Go on, there you go.

Run off to Daddy!

To tell him he's being framed,

by you.

He put our lives in danger.

We could have you

for negligence.

Sorry.

Or we could have him

done for battery.

You know, battery. Like a

Simon, I swear I'll turn

that f*cking thing off myself.

It's Hilary.

Kelly!

Kelly!

Kel!

Oh, OK.

It's John's dad.

He's behind the whole thing.

The picture you showed me,

you was right.

Clifford knows the hitman,

and he's probably got the lawyer

working for him as well,

and now he's using John.

Shouldn't you be

telling Dennett or somebody?

I f*cked up, Kel.

I mean, I,

I don't know what to do.

My partner hates me.

He's dying.

And now the only person

that could have saved him

has resigned because of me.

It's my fault.

I'm sorry

I didn't listen to you.

Roy.

I don't know what to do.

Where's John now?

He's gone to tell his dad

that I'm onto him.

We need to stop that.

I'm gonna get my coat.

- Start the car!

- Okay.

OK, let's try

Clifford's hotel first.

He accused you, Dad.

Said you set up

the attempt on Cleasby.

Attempt?

So he survived then, did he?

He's fine.

They got the hitman too.

They'll interview him

when he comes round.

Offer him a deal.

Where's Cleasby now?

Dad, you don't get it.

Carver thinks you were involved

in Chelsea Bridge.

He wants to arrest you.

I'm not too worried

about DI Carver.

Good.

Because I'm going

to clear your name.

Then you can stay here, with me,

we can go to Laser Quest

I'm not worried

about your robot pal

because

he won't be

a problem for much longer.

I heard some whispers at SIU.

The AI cop's going

to be dead by tomorrow.

What?

Something about his AI bit

and his human bit

being incompatible.

I don't understand the science

but basically,

his emotions are f*cked,

and he's going to crash.

Sorry, son.

I know he's a friend of yours.

John, it was all there, John.

John's dying.

You didn't listen.

John.

It's all gone to sh*t.

Cleasby survived,

they're going

to offer Pigtails a deal.

There he is.

Clifford!

Where's John?

He ran off,

seemed upset about something.

Roy, we need to go.

John's out there, on his own,

on Pancake Day.

Finish your drink.

I'll come back for you.

And you think

I'll be sitting here waiting?

Roy!

Off you go.

These things

are getting to me lately.

His emotions

are f*cked, he's gonna crash.

Oh, f*ck. Ugh!

Am I dying?

No, I swear on me mum's life.

These are mood swings,

I've been having,

I've seen you together.

In corners, whispering.

That's to do

with something else.

I couldn't live

with that betrayal.

Not again.

AI cop

dead.

Pancake Day.

Am I dying?

I'm not gonna tell ya.

Am I dying?

Am I dying?

Sorry, Johnnie.

Nothing to keep me here now.