03x09 - Episode 9

[bunniefuu]

[disturbing music]

[growl]

[growl]

-It's you, thank god!

It's not far to the finish line, take me
and then the rest.

Seryozha.

Why are you looking like this?

Sergey?

It's me. Don't you recognize me?

Seryozha!

-Ah-ah!

Ah-ah-ah!

[growl]

[roar]

[roar]

-OH!

As far as I can see,

was the hunt a success?

-Beaver.

-Mmm, it smells so good of blood!

Professor, would you be so kind
Would you let me go hunting?

-I remind you that you're blind.
Aren't you afraid of becoming a victim?

-Professor, you're underestimating me again.

-Oh, you're lucky here.
Okay, frolic.

-Thanks.

[growls]

[breathes convulsively]

[Sergey's growl]

[basilisk roar]

-Hsh-hhh!

Quiet, quiet, brother.

Let's come to your senses.

[roars]

[growls]

-Sergey.

Sergey, it's me!

[intense music]

[Mumiy Troll - Ghosts Tomorrow]

[baby crying]

[includes loud music]

[Agatha Christie - Helicopter Carpet]

Mom, this is a fool
Mom, this is not the case with me...

-Open it now, woodpecker.

... Is it really the sky, is it really the sky
Hitting my head?

On a helicopter carpet
Past the rainbow

We're flying and you're crawling
You're weirdos, weirdos...

-Stop! Stop!

-Drive it.

Why did you get up? We've already left.
-If we tear up now, we're definitely going to burn.

-Is there something wrong?

Oh! Thank you so much.

On a helicopter carpet
Past the rainbow

We're flying...

[basilisk roar]

-Zhenechka, calm down, it's you.
You're human, can you hear me?

Look at you. Look, can you hear me?

Look at this!

-Where are we?

-Brother, you did it.

-Hello.
-Go on.

I told you I'd get you out.

-Frankly speaking, I was surprised.

-And I thought you were older.

Come on, we should get out of here as soon as possible.

[growl]

-Jean, what's up with him?

-He's in a parallel reality right now.

-He's a vampire. How is this even possible?

-A pig will find dirt everywhere.

We should drain him some blood
for him to come to his senses.

-I'm always happy to be the one.

[groans]

-Olya.

What's up with you?

-That's a pretty odd picture.

It's not very clear who's after whom.

What's wrong with your eyes?

-Well, according to women,

they're beautiful.

-You know, from a scientific point of view
It would be interesting to know how you saw the light.

On the other hand, though,
let at least something remain a secret.

Ah-ah-ah!

-Open his mouth. Open his mouth!

Close it.

-Thanks.

-Go!

-Where is Olya?

[loud music in the distance]

[loud music, cheerful screams]

-This is Stefan.

[music is coming]

[motor noise]

Hell, someone else.

-Are you good at thinking?
Will you be able to act?

Then you go there and I go there.

[Stefan's laughter]

[howling]

-I know you're in here somewhere.

Now, daddy's going to punish someone.

-Whoa whoa, take it easy, hero!

-I thought it was prey.

-Are you stunned or what?
-No, I just didn't recognize you.

-Brother is a moron, now you are too.

What do I need this for, huh?

[sniffs]

I think there's still some game left here.

-Hang on, wait.

I'm sorry, I promise I won't do it again.

Stefan just gave me a treat,
I couldn't say no.

I think about you all the time.

-And I'm talking about you, cat. Be patient a little bit.

I'm just gonna k*ll your girlfriend.
She runs around here somewhere.

-Which girlfriend? I don't know what you're talking about.

-But I understood everything.

A cat.

-Sorry, Mia, she has already crossed the finish line.

-It's time to enter video replays.

-Well, here's our winner, gentlemen!

-The hunt is over!

-Well done, Olga Anvarovna.
To be honest, I didn't expect it.

-I want my prize. Right away.

-No problem, we keep our word.

If you don't give your word, be strong
and when you give it, hold on.

Russian folk proverb.

Well sorry, Miechka,
I understand you're annoyed.

Which defeat in a row.
-Thanks for reminding me every time.

-Just to do it for you
a small comforting present.

thou

You can k*ll her.

-With pleasure.

Too bad it was only once.

-Winners are so rare in our hunts.

This is doubly valuable.
I want to enjoy the moment.

-Boy, why again
did your contestant win?

Last time it was Vlad, today it was this one.

-Well, be afraid
At least some god, Madam.

Between these two winners


So this is a very dubious “again”.

-How time flies!

-Well, that's enough, turn it around.

-And what you whispered in my ear,
is this real? Can you do that?

-I've been married for 200 years.

I've only shared my preludes with you.

-I'll tell you later.

[branch crunch]

Oh, the wind of change!

-Thanks, honey!
-Nothing to thank me for yet.

We've only taken one step.
-Where is Demid?

-And Vlad? Didn't he show up?

-I think you'll see them soon.

-So, is everything according to plan?
-So far, let's move on.

These are just a pain in the a*s.

-Demid Akimovich, what about the test?
Didn't Muscovites burst their pockets?

-We're not going to get impoverished. I think they'll fall behind.

-So this is great news.
We don't dare to delay it.

[electricity crackling]

-How much longer?
-Don't cry, vampires don't get tired.

-I didn't say I was tired. I'm just tired of it.

-Is everything all right?

-I'd like to apologize to you.

-What are you talking about?

[dark music]

-It's a fun moment in our tradition.

The winner's first glass of blood
You are far from your first one.

-Where is my son? I want to see it.

-Don't worry, he's safe.

And much closer than you are even
You can guess.

Enjoy the win.

[loud music in the distance]

-Borya.

-Mia, I think I told your brother

so that he listens to this garbage of his own
only in my room. Or with headphones.

[loud music]

[turns off music]

[laughter]

-Yes, yeah! We did it.

[Andrey, by phone]
-I'm proud of you, son.

-Thanks, dad.
-How did it go?

-So how? Like clockwork!

Except he's the youngest
the participant in the operation pooped.

Fate saved you from this,
you didn't wash my a*s.

But I've had a hard time with Nastya.

[disturbing music]

-What is it?

-This is a girl.
-It's a trap, go away!

[steps]

-Demid?
-I'm right here.

-An unexpected meeting, huh?

For you. I've been waiting for you.

Almost a minute in a minute.

[electricity crackling]

They say you have a strange animal hiding in you?
-Don't touch it, you b*stard!

[electricity crackling]

-Thanks. Well, let's get started.

I see your reviewers
haven't been brought in yet.

Okay, so far without them.
They're only human after all.

You're all probably wondering

how we all ended up together
at the same time.

-Boris, stop your theatrical work.

[electricity crackling]

-Shall we do without lines from the audience?

So that's it.

It all started with

what surprised me
our esteemed Professor.

Are you sure?
-Absolutely.

They're definitely not vampire skulls.

-By the way, where is the Professor?

Well, one way or another, I started to think.

How did it happen
Why were we fooled so easily?

I saw it myself

like the esteemed Svyatoslav Vernidubovich
I got into the car with you.

I've seen your bodies burn.

The only thing I didn't see
This is how Vlad removed his skulls.

Vlad, you're the only one who came back from Smolensk
with Mila's skull.

You were alone when Agatha was k*lled.
And you were alone when Jean ran away.

A thief. A thief can deceive into saying he didn't steal.

A m*rder*r. A m*rder*r can cheat -
saying I didn't k*ll.

But a man in love

will never be able to hide
falling in love with others.

You smiled too much after
when I came back from Smolensk.

That's what k*lled you.

Here's what you didn't disappoint me about
so it's about choosing your heart.

You two look great together.

I promise to make the dream of lovers come true.

You're going to die one day.
Probably today.

And then you came to see Demid a lot.

No friendship though
It's never been seen between you two.

With Demid and Seraphim
It was all clear from the start.

But I must give you my due.
You masterfully staged an assassination attempt on me.

Do you know where you miscalculated?
-You go.

-That's how I was a rude Kupchin,
that's how it stayed.

You made the wrong choice of yours
a so-called ally.

I knew him too well.
In his tiny blond head

would never fit
such a big idea.

If only he hadn't been inspired to do it.

Thank you for not turning me down
my forest nymph.

It's amazing, but I even
I've never been here for you.

-What do you want?
-The answer.

Why did you want to k*ll me?

-I didn't want to k*ll you.

I wanted Seraphim not to die.

This is not fair.

-So you're for justice?

I mean if I k*ll you right now
would that be fair?

Because you wanted to k*ll me.
But you didn't make it.

But I can do it.

-It hurts more than 50 years ago
You can't do it to me anymore.

-Oh well.

Are you still mad?

There is no one more frightening than an offended woman.

Even time is unable to alleviate this resentment.

-Well, we found that out.

I'm mad you're not going to k*ll me.

Anything else?
-Yes.

I'm asking you to help me.

I know that once upon a time
you and I broke up badly.

But we used to feel good together.

For these,

maybe not so long,
but delightful moments

help me out.

-How weak you are!

-Well, after I found out your plans,

I've arranged you like figures
on a chessboard.

And I controlled your every move.

Of course it was possible to cover you all at once.

But why?

Why would I deprive myself
so much fun?

I've regained my appetite for life

I played such an amazing game.

There's one thing I don't understand.

Where my dearly loved one
Svyatoslav Vernidubovich?

Can you hear me, Svyatoslav Vernidubovich?

You need a shah.

Where are you hiding, Svyatoslav Vernidubovich?

Aw! Where are you?

Where are you? Where are you?

-Don't bother, he stayed in Smolensk.

People are more important to him.

-Ah!

It's a shame.

Well, it was the final.
somewhat oiled.

But life is seldom perfect.

So I guess that's it.

Finita la comedy.

A curtain.

[growl]

[formidable music]

-All right, a*s for you.

[growls]

-Oh, so this isn't the final yet?

Bravo, Svyatoslav Vernidubovich!

I'm right about you. Spectacular!

And this suit with wings
did you take it to the Smolensk Youth Theater?

-No, it's my personal one.

For particularly important meetings, ceremonial.

To, so to speak,
emphasize personal dislike.

-I appreciated it. Appreciated it.

Just all of these are yours, so to speak,
body movements are in vain.

There are a lot of us.

-Yes!

A formidable force.

Well, I'm not alone either.

[whistles]

Oh, the boys are here.

So, Borenka, give me mine, huh?

And let's go home peacefully.

Otherwise, a lot of yours are in the sausage,
shoved with a finger, it will turn, a lot.

-Oh, Svyatoslav Vernidubovich!

Your offer is so naive
which is even insulting.

[growl]

[growls]

[growl]

[whistling]

-Oh oh! Good job, what are you doing?

No way, a meeting?

[Boris]
-Oh, Foma Kazimirovich,

at the wrong time you got distracted from the fish.

It's time to pull the carps.
-Nothing, Boron, nothing.

I'm not going to take it today -
they'll be fatter tomorrow.

-Foma Kazimirovich, you're in the way.

-And you would shut your mouth, Borenka.

The main thing is, I'm going.

I see, they don't seem to be ours.

And that's right.

Not ours.

I'm Tom Kazimirovich.

-Very nice. Svyatoslav Vernidubovich.

How is it a ploy?

-But I took a carp - for a kilo!
-Wow!

-And you, Svyatoslav Vernidubovich,
visiting us al on business?

-On the case. I just came to pick up mine.

-Yours?

Are these yours or what?
-Mine.

-So, of course, take it. Take it away!
-What do you mean by “pick it up”?

This is at least a vote.
-You're a weirdo, Borh.

I asked you to close my mouth -
Well, I would take it to close it, right?

Boris, give back everything you took to the esteemed man.
We don't want conflicts.

But tell me, Svyatoslav Vernidubovich,

we are with you nowhere before
Couldn't we cross paths?

-Well, the earth isn't that big
for those who have been living for hundreds of years.

-It's your truth.

Svyatoslav Vernidubovich, never you
Didn't you wear such a fur hat?

With a fox tail.

-Ah!

And that's it, huh? It was. Mine, mine.

-Aha! So it's definitely you.

Gruenwald, 1410.

-Well, that was the case.

That was the hat! Wore it, wore it -
and that's where I sowed it.

And I regretted it so much!

-You could hardly remember me.

I was wearing a helmet and armor.
I met the Teutons at that time.

-Yeah, with them, huh?
-Yes.

All right, who will remember the old one,
There's an eye out of him.

-And whoever forgets, both of them.

-Oh, we raked it then
from your Smolensk regiments!

-We can do it, we can do it.

Well, a lot of people have robbed us.

-Listen, good gentlemen,
Or is it enough?

-Shut up, jerk,
when adults talk!

-Notable!

-Give it back to Svyatoslav Vernidubovich
his people.

And so you are in Smolensk there...

Is this a supervisor?

-This is not how a family is run.

-Wisely, wisely.

And you see, I wasn't lucky enough to start a family.

So I organized a community.

And then he retired

And the kids, wow, let's play too much!

Well, Svyatoslav Vernidubovich,
It's time for us to agree on something.

We don't want to fight with you.

Well, we'll fight, we'll put a lot of people down
on both sides. Who feels better?

-Yes to no one. But also great friends
We're not going to be either. We're too different.

So let's go our separate ways.

Live the way you live.

What do you say there? We want barzo.

-Aha, and you'll prosper.

-Sorry to interrupt
your tedious conversation

but I'll repeat the question. Where is my baby?

-So this one's yours too?

-To be honest, when how.
But it's ours, it's ours.

-What's up with the baby? Give it back to his mother.

-God, please.

[mystery music]

-Well, that's it?

-No, not all of them.

We want Vlad.

-And I'm not going to give Vlad to you.

It was only about Smolensk ones.

And Vlad is mine! I'll decide for myself what to do with it.

-So Borya is right.

-So you're going to k*ll him, paskuda.

-Absolutely.
-I offer an exchange.

-Sharing is a different thing.

Sharing is fair.

-Vlad is with us,

and you're left with this one.

It seems he's settled down here.
-Olechka!

What are you talking about, Ol?
-Seryozha, stop it.

We've got our way and you've got your trip.

They're waiting for you there.
-Well, wait for your exchange.

If you don't even need it,
What are we wearing it for?

-You don't want it.
And I agree to an exchange.

-Me too. This is fair.

-Oh my God, let's go
We'll change and leave.

Well, Tom Kazimirovich?

-Okay, hell with you.

But you, Vladik, don't relax.
I'll find you baby.

-Come on, all of you!

I'm not leaving my child behind.

-Sergey, I am very grateful to you for the baby.

Now go to hell.

-Well, what are we worth?
Did you really like your visit?

Let's go home. Go home.

[Tom coughs]

-Release them.

We'll talk.

-Olya, thanks. I didn't expect it.

-I still know how to surprise.

-You've always been able to.

-At least you can do it.

No, no, we're not friends.

-Grandpa, are you real
Did you make them all vampires?

-Do you have any doubts?

[Irina]
-That's how nice...

[growls]

Oh my God!

-Grandpa Slava, do I look like a vampire?
-Just like that!

I was so scared and almost dazed.

-Don't these teeth stop you from kissing?

-I don't even remember when.

-The girl is growing up.

-Uh, yeah.

Nastya, well, put your teeth on again.

A spilled vampire.

Irinochka Vitalievna,
Can I ask you something?

-Try it.

-I'm not going to force anyone.

The mission is dangerous.

So if anyone says no,

There's no shame in that.

-But remember, boys,
vampires can't cope without our help.

-What should we do?

-It seems like nothing complicated.

It's like a masquerade.

We just don't have to go back.

-If you don't have to dig and carry heavy things,
we're ready.

-That's right.

-Well, grandpa, of course, you're immortal!
What if they didn't believe it?

-Well, stunned, you believed it.
-We all believed it.

-Zhenya!

-Where? Back, back.

Let's go to the Christmas tree, then we'll have it.

[Sirotkin - “It's better to be afraid together”]

Even in the dark

It's better to be afraid together.

It will soon run out of space at all.

And we don't need to like it

We should stay close instead of words.

Grab each other

We're still here for a long time.

-We're at our place. Goodbye, Svyatoslav Vernidubovich.

-Thank you, Kostya.

-No way.
I hope you'll keep your end of the deal.

-But what about.

-What's the deal, grandpa?

-And we must leave Smolensk.

What would we be

If we had the courage.