01x04 - K-Pop

[bunniefuu]

[Together] [ Chanting
] We're number one!

We're number one!

We're number one!

[Young man] Whoo!

♪♪

[ Electronic sounds echoing ]

♪♪

Young woman: No justice!

Together: [ Chanting ] No peace!

No justice! No peace!

No justice! No peace!

No justice! No peace!

No justice!

♪♪

Great.

I guess my a*s
needs an identity.

♪♪

You could do a sport, like maybe
one of the intramural teams?

Peter, you know I
refuse to sweat.

Mm. Uh, you could try the
Speech and Debate club.

Okay, Denise, I cannot
stress this enough.

I actively hate everyone
involved in that activity.

Guys, these aren't really
feeling like Chad to me.

Like, when you describe me
to others, what do you say?

What? You know,

like, when you're describing
me to various people

you're trying to impress, like,
what would you say my thing is?

You don't like being outdoors.

You also don't
like being indoors.

Guys, these are
honestly dead on,

but, like, what do I like?

What about Asian
Appreciation Club?

Oh, I don't know if
Chad would like that.

Well, Chad's right
here. Let's ask him.

What's Asian Appreciation Club?

It's really neat.

We dip our toes into
everything that's great

about Asian culture.

We read manga,
sample Asian candies,

and watch Chinese action films.

Wait, so you just sit
around eating snacks

and watching movies for credit?

What a scam. I love it.

Yeah, sign my a*s up.

It's not a scam.

It's about honoring
Asian experiences.

And understanding the culture
and exploring the issues.

Yep, I'm into all that...

P.F. Chang's, Awkwafina,
the whole deal.

It's not about P.F. Chang's.

It's about culture.

Okay, Denise, whatever it
is you need to hear me say,

just pretend I said it.

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

Oh, God.

[ Door closes ]

[ Wolf-whistles ]

Playa pimp! [ Chuckles ]

Excuse me?

Oh, sorry, I didn't
mean to whistle.

That was weird.

Um, I'm just going to
Asian Appreciation Club.

I'm not, like, excited
about it or anything.

I'm sorry, were you
gonna say something?

Your mouth moved a little bit.

No, no.

Hey, uh, bump me.

[ Laughs ]

Alright, well...

Alright, see ya.

Wow, sitting on the floor
right out of the gates.

Wow, you're here.

Ah, it's like my two favorite
worlds are finally colliding.

Peter, stop waving. I'm
three feet away from you.

Welcome to Asian
Appreciation Club, Chad.

Please feel free to
peruse our art, food,

and literature station.

Thank you. I will.

[ Gong crashes ]

Your people like
that sound, Denise?

Sorry. Wow.

And now for the moment
I've been excited for most.

I'd like to introduce you to
someone very special to me.

Fantastic. Yeah.

Whoa. Peter: Yeah.

It's a fully functioning,
perfect-grade Gundam model.

I've been working
on it for 32 hours.

It has an internal skeleton.

You a freak, my man.

How quickly can you fire
up one of these for me?

Very. Hell yeah.

Great club, you guys.

I seriously appreciate Asia now.

In fact, I'm gonna head on
over there and appreciate

the Asian craftsmanship
that went into this iPhone.

See ya.

[ Sighs ]

[ Muffled music plays ]

♪♪

Hey, man.

Just want to say I'm
really loving your choices,

like, head to toe.

You look sick, dude.

Thanks.

What's your birth name?

Mine's Ferydoon.

What, were you born,
like, Kiko or something?

No, just Kevin.

You were born Kevin?

Yeah.

That wasn't, like, a
late-in-the-game pivot?

No.

Kev-dog, what are you...
What are you watching?

It's K-pop, man.

Oh. Oh, yeah, K-pop.

[ Singing in Korean ]

♪ Drama ♪

♪ Dramama Ramama Ramama, hey ♪

♪ Dramama Ramama Ramama, hey ♪

♪ Dramama Ramama Ramama, hey ♪

♪ Hey, yeah, yeah ♪

Are you done? Can I have
my bud back, please?

Uh-huh.

♪♪

One spaghetti for Mrs. Popular,
and one for Mr. Cellphone Music.

Honey, put that away.

Oh, my God.

Have you guys, like, heard
about this K-pop thing?

It's awesome. You
probably haven't.

It hasn't really
hit the States yet.

Slow down, you're gonna choke.

[ Coughing ] Chad,
chew your food.

Drink some water.

[ Coughs ]

Ugh. It's awesome.

It's basically this
Korean mash-up of pop,

hip-hop, and R&B.

And they have to go to
these, like, crazy schools

where they basically train
for like 17 hours a day,

and some of them even have
to get plastic surgery.

It's so awesome, Mom.

You're so stupid.

Everyone already
knows about K-pop.

It's literally one of the
most famous things on earth.

Which... Which is
what I'm saying.

We all know about K-pop
and... And we all like it.

I'm really glad you're
excited about something, Chad.

I really am.

It's so sick, Mom.

I feel like it was made for me.

I mean, it was made for
teenage girls, but okay.

Oh, yeah? Can a
teenage girl do this?

♪♪

Oh, those moves.

Your Chad is talented.

This is K-pop.

Wow.

♪♪

[ Singing in Korean ]

Denise: The multicultural
assembly is only two weeks away,

and we're gonna show this school

what Asian Appreciation
Club is all about.

Hey, Kev, check it out.

Got that MONSTA X merch.

The website wasn't in English,

so I accidentally bought


Tight. Which is why
this year I decided

we're going to do a traditional
Chinese tea ceremony.

[ Coughs ] Weak
sauce. Excuse me?

I coughed and said
"weak sauce," Denise.

Your idea is horrifying.

Do you have any
better ideas, Chad?

Actually, I do.

You guys have been sitting
on an Asian gold mine,

and that gold mine is K-pop.

Why don't we do a K-pop concert

and blow the lid off
this whole damn school?

I-I don't think a K-pop
performance is appropriate

for an educational assembly.

You're right, Denise.

Yeah, maybe we should just
do the tea ceremony then.

O-Oh, and while we're
humiliating ourselves,

maybe we can throw
on some baby overalls

and stick our
thumbs up our asses.

Or we can be the most
popular club in school

and be rock-star legends!

Chad, you can't just show up and
derail Asian Appreciation Club.

Baby doll, you're
not even full Asian.

Your dad's a Polish
real-estate agent,

and I'm Iranian, which is smack
dab in the middle of Asia.

So it turns out I can't
derail Asian Appreciation Club

because I am Asian
Appreciation Club!

Who's with me?!

Are you guys in or what?

This is gonna be awesome!

Come on, Denise!

What do you say, Kevin?

I know what that tiny
little shrug means.

Kevin's in! Let's do it.

♪♪

It's okay, it's okay. We can
do the tea ceremony next year.

♪♪

And 5, 6, 7, 8,


Strike and mm, and
pose, and uh-huh.

On time. Okay, get
into formation.

Pump those ba*ls,
even the girls.

More in sync, you guys, come on.

This time on the
beat. Faster, Peter.

Like you got a huge-a*s
crush on someone.

Now get that money out.
We have too much money!

We need to get
rid of some of it.

Everyone's looking confident.

Would it k*ll you
to smile, Denise?

Give me one of these
and go into a heart.

Ohhh!

We are from Korea!

Good.

[ Knocking ] Chad, get out of
the bathroom! I need to pee.

Pee in the backyard.

Mom!

Chad's been in the
bathroom for an hour.

I think he's, like, jerking it.

Okay. I got it.

Honey? Is everything
okay in there?

Yeah, I'll be right out.

[ Sighs ]

Chad, what is that on your face?

Oh, it's a sheet mask made
of Korean shark sperm.

If you want glass skin, you
got to work for it, Mom.

Freak. Sticks and stones, wh*re.

Chad! Not you!

Mom, check this out.

Is that... you? Yeah.

I mean, hopefully
it will be one day.

I-I just got to get a job
to pay for all my surgeries.

Uh, honey, aren't
you taking all this.

K-pop stuff a little too far?

Are you kidding, Mom? I love it.

It's like I'm finally
part of an awesome culture

I can be proud of.

What about being Persian?

We have amazing
food, incredible tea,

and people love our cats.

Pass.

I don't want any of
that. Ooh, ooh, ooh!

If you like cool music,
you'll love this.

[ Singing in Farsi ]

Hey!

♪ Dokhtar Irooni mesleh goleh ♪

This is a classic! Come on,
Chad, why aren't you dancing?

I'm upset.

[ School bell ringing ]

Oh, hey, Reid.

A-Are you, um, going to the
multicultural assembly tomorrow?

Well, yeah, it's mandatory,
so I kind of have to.

For sure, for sure.

Um, 'cause me and the
Asian Appreciation Club

are gonna be doing
a K-pop performance.

K-pop? Really? Wow.

Y-Yeah, that's
really cool, right?

Yeah. It's just...

It's like a really
big swing, you know?

Takes a lot of ba*ls, but
you're a maniac, dude.

I love it.

I'm a maniac. [ Chuckles ]

[ Singing in Korean ]

♪♪

That was good. Yeah,
that's getting better.

The snap was like...

- Yeah.
- Alright.

You guys thought that was great?

- Yeah.
- All pretty proud of yourselves,

but that was dog sh*t.

That was full-on dog sh*t
stuck to a horse's p*nis.

I didn't think it was that bad.

I mean, we were
having fun, right?

I'm surprised you guys
didn't pee your pants

because that's how
little control you had

over your bodies.

The performance is tomorrow.

Does everyone understand
K-pop is a big swing?

Come on, Chad.

Let's do it again.



Stop! Stop, stop.

Peter, what was that?

That was a body roll.

Oh, my God, he thinks
that was a body...

I need you to show up, Peter.

Have you even been practicing?

Of course I have.

All I do is practice this
and work on my Gundam robot.

I'm taking that away from you.

What? I'm taking
it away from you.

You're distracted.
No, no, no, no, no!

Chad, I'm so close
to finishing it.

Please, it's not
Little Peter's fault.

You named him Little Peter?

Wha... That's so weird!

He's not your little
son! So hectic.

Stop, the glue's still drying!

Chad, you're gonna...

Sorry. I'll put... Help
put him back together.

Just leave it, Chad.

You've touched him enough.

Chad, you're taking
this way too far.

You're being a jerk.

Here we go.

Denise is being a hater.

Very surprising turn
of events... not.

Right, guys? Not.

Right, Kevin?

I mean, I hesitate
to engage with you,

but you are being wack.

How could you pop
off at me like that

after everything we've
been through together?

As a founding member of the
Asian Appreciation Club,

I'm calling an emergency vote.

All those in favor of
kicking Chad out of the club.

♪♪

Well, I'm really sorry
you guys feel that way.

But guess what, I'm
gonna do this concert

with or without you.

I don't even care if
it's a one-man show.

Watch me rep this damn
culture all by my damn self.

Sayonara, b*tches.

[ Crunch ]

♪♪

Dear God or Allah or little
baby Jesus or whatever,

I've never really prayed
before, but figured

I'd give it a try since

I'm so scared about
tomorrow's performance.

Chaddy joon.

You're praying?

Just figured it couldn't hurt.

You want to know
what I think God is?

What? I think God is just love.

Okay, I don't really know
what to do with that.

I'm just not sure
how random-a*s love

is gonna save me from
this performance tomorrow.

Well, that is why
you have your friends

going up there with you...

To have your back, lift you up,
to keep you from eating sh*t.

What? What do you mean?

Oh, my God, Chad,

when I was your age,
I ate so much sh*t.

I thought I was this hotshot
little man boy who knew it all.

But I was wrong.

Without friends,
you're basically

a lonely little street
rat eating sh*t left

and right... breakfast,
lunch, snack, and dinner.

You're a sh*t-eating machine.

You're a sh*t-eating machine?

Man, if it was just you
up there on this stage,

[chuckles] g*dd*mn, that
would be depressing.

[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ]

You... Just you
alone, freaking out.

[ Laughs ]

I... Don't even think about it.

♪♪

I don't want to eat sh*t.

♪♪

[ Shofar sounding ]

Te-ki-yaaah!

[ Applause ]

Charles: Yes. Let's give it
up for little Bobby Padnik,

who is bringing the High Holy
Days to Westpark High, right?

Dare I say...

Shofar, so good.

We got your text, Chad.

What do you want?

You know, they say sorry
is the hardest word.

Well, guess what.

I'm brave then,
because I'm sorry.

I'm hanging by a thread,
begging you for forgiveness.

Please, please forgive me
so we can perform together.

It's all I'll ever ask
of you, and I promise

I won't F-up again.

Denise, I'm sorry I called
you a half-Polish loser.

I don't remember you saying
those exact words, but...

Well, I definitely did.

I-I honestly went out
of my way to do it.

Multiple times.

Don't you have someone you
owe an extra apology to?

Kevin, brosef, my main man...

I'm talking about Peter.

Peter, Peter pumpkin eater.

Man, we've been
through a lot together.

I'm so sorry I completely
m*rder*d your beautiful robot.

Little Peter was
an absolute gem,

and it would be my honor to
buy you a new Little Peter.

Thank you for remembering
his name, but he was $500.

Let's put a pin in that.

I love you so much.

Okay. Guys, I am so sorry,

and I'm trying to be
vulnerable as hell right now,

standing before you as a
little boy in a floral blouse

just straight-up holding
my d*ck in my hands.

So what do you say?

Let's blow the roof off this
gymnasium and do our dance!

Please, Denise.

Please. I mean, we did
practice extremely hard.

Up next, Asian Appreciation
Club with a tribute to K-pop.

[ Applause ]

♪♪

Man: Hey!

♪♪

♪ Dramarama ♪

♪♪

Ow!

[ Singing in Korean ]

♪♪

♪ No way, not funny ♪

[ Singing in Korean ]

♪♪

♪ Dramama Ramama Ramama, hey ♪

♪ Dramama Ramama Ramama, hey ♪

♪ Dramama Ramama Ramama, hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

[ Singing in Korean ]

♪♪

Chad: ♪ Dramarama, dramarama ♪

♪ Dramama dramama mamama ♪

♪ And 5, 6, mama, 6, mamamama ♪

♪ Dramam... Ramama ♪

[ Applause ]

That was awesome. Crushed it.

Really did. I was like... And
then you were like, "Aah!"

And then Peter was like, "Ah!"

- And the girls were also in it.
- We got to celebrate.

How about we grab some Boba
and hang out at my place?

Hell yeah! Kevin, you in?

Yeah. Kevin's in!

Oh, my God, yeah!

Chad, come here. [ Laughing ]

What? Oh, I'll be right
[clears throat] right back.

Chad, that dance thing
was freaking hilarious.

You had me cracking up. Way
to make fun of the assembly.

You bodied that sh*t.

I was supposed to be funny,

so that's good that that's
what that was to you.

But seriously, dude, you're
really freaking funny.

You should write memes.

Thanks, I'll try to immediately.

Uh, do you like tacos?

We're gonna go make a Del run.

Uh, I love tacos. [ Chuckles ]

Okay, cool, let's bounce.

Okay, I'm coming with you.

Chad, I thought we were
gonna grab some Boba.

I...

just have to eat tacos.

Okay, Chad. Have a super night.

We'll miss you.

Hey, Reid, wait up!

Yeah, that makes sense.

♪♪

Reid, wait up!

Reid: Tacos! Tacos!

Tacos! Tacos!

Tacos! Tacos!

[ Sighs ]

You guys, you're never
gonna believe it!

I changed my mind!

[ Singing in Korean ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Dramarama ♪

♪ Dramama Ramama Ramama, hey ♪

♪ Dramama Ramama Ramama, hey ♪

[ Singing in Korean ]

♪ Dramarama ♪