02x01 - Class President

[bunniefuu]

♪

Chad, you alright, man?

You've been up there
for a while.

Are you kidding me?

I freaking love it up here.

I've been shredding the gnar
my whole life.

Think that's
a snowboarding thing.

Okay, here we go.

[ Sighs ]

Oh, real quick,

does anyone
have any extra wrist pads?

You took
all the wrist pads, Chad.

Oh, yeah.

That's such a good point,
Joey.

Thanks, man.

I love you for
bringing the truth!

Cool if I drop in?

Uh, I-I was gonna go,
but yeah, for sure,

go ahead and take it away.

I'm just gonna let
this little girl go first!

♪

What the...

Dude, if it's too high,
you can just bail.

It's totally cool.

Yeah, right, Caleb.

Can you imagine, after
talking about it all summer

and the entire car ride
over here,

I just fully bail on skating?

[ Laughs ]

Alright, here I go.

♪ New boy in the neighborhood ♪

♪ Lives downstairs,
and it's understood ♪

♪ He's there just to take
good care of me ♪

♪ Like he's one of the family ♪

♪

♪ Charles in charge ♪

Dude, go!

Whoa, whoa!

Uh! Oh!

Oh!

Holy sh*t, Chad,
are you alright?

I think he's alive.

Did I shred?

♪

Woman: At the tone,
please record your message.

Heeey, Peter!

It's your best friend, Chad.

Um, not sure if you got
any of my earlier messages.

I left exactly 11.

Um, yeah.

Hope you had a fantastic trip
to Italy this summer.

I just picture you being
ba*ls-deep in pasta.

[ Italian accent ]
I can't-a believe-a

I was not-a-a there with you.

[ Normal voice ] That was me
doing my Italian accent for ya.

Uh, feel free to show that
to your parents.

What else?
What else?

Um, oh, I did Meals on Wheels
with Joey.

Mm, it was whatever.
[ Beep ]

If you are satisfied
with your message, press 1.

To listen to your message,
press 2.

To erase and re-record,
press 3.

Message erased.

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater!

♪

Ah, there he is,
Mr. Class President.

Thanks, Hamid.
I-I am so sorry.

I definitely do not have time

for in-person breakfast
this year.

I thought you were gonna talk
to him about that.

Do you mind throwing these eggs
in a zippy for me?

No problem.
Chad, at least use a fork.

Mmm!
I love a loose egg.

So--
Mmm-mmm-mmm, mmm!

I love eggs.

First day as a sophomore,
how does it feel?

Mm, exhilarating.
Happiest I've ever been.

I have an entire student body
waiting on my arrival.

Niki, have you heard
I'm class president this year?

Yeah.
Everyone just feels bad for you

because you were the victim
of a hate crime.

Well, guess what, Niki.
I'm k*lling it,

so I no longer feel the need
to tear you down.

Have a blessed day,
little sister.

[ Horn honking ]

Oh, that's the sound
of my boys picking me up.

Got to run. Liam's Ford Flex
waits for no one.

Wait, you're not walking
to the bus stop with Peter?

Nope,
I just talked about Liam.

[ Birdy Nam Nam's "Hammerhead"
plays ]

♪ Blood starts boiling,
there's nothing I can see ♪

♪ Time is up, doors are shut,
swallowed all the keys ♪

♪ So I'm kicking ba*ls
and I'm watching 'em fall ♪

♪ Till I'm sucked up
in the hole ♪

♪ Scratching hands and feet ♪

♪ Shocked, shocked,
knocked, knocked ♪

♪ Like a hammerhead ♪

♪ Losing my temper's
a danger to myself ♪

♪ I'm a wreaking ball
and the breaking wall ♪

♪ Gotta find needles ♪

♪ Need stitches to be fixed
because I'm ♪

♪ Broken, hit, hit
by a hammerhead ♪

♪ All you can do
if you really wanna help ♪

♪ Is stitch me kindly,
stitch me kindly ♪

♪ I'm a Frankenstein
and I'm going to hell ♪

Woman: Stitch!

Stitch!

♪

Stitch!

♪

Stitch!

[ Music distorts, stops ]

Oh, crap.
Is that my best friend Peter

or a damn
Italian movie star?

Okay, someone had
a growth spurt.

Hello, Chad.

So, Italy.
Tell me all about it.

I'm loving this tan
on you.

Oh, it was great.
It was great?

Okay, so tell me more.

Did you go on a boat?

I went on three boats.

I-I got to head to class, actually.

It was nice speaking
with you.

But...

My turn.

I'm not doing piggyback
right now.

Geez.

So, Arthur, you can
take care of that.
Arthur: Alright, yeah.

[ To the tune of
Wagner's "Bridal Chorus" ]
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba! ♪

Hail to the Chief!

Uh, that was
the wedding march,

and you're 15 minutes late.

Uh, actually,
I'm class president,

so I think you were


Student Council!

What's up, everyone?

I'm so excited to learn
all of your guys' names.

What's up?
That's a beautiful cardigan.

Oh, my God,
look at this guy.

He's like, "Uh-oh,
the boss is here."

Howdy, sunshine.

Alright.
First things first,

I'm gonna say
what everyone's thinking--

This meeting
could've been an e-mail.

Right, guys?

Are you guys all familiar
with that famous Internet phrase

"this meeting could've been
an e-mail"?

Yeah, that meme's
a few years old.

Exactly.

That's--
And that's why it's timeless.

Chad, we were in the middle
of discussing

the first school assembly.

We're not announcing
the "Tolerance Grant"

that we've received in response
to the hate crime.

Ooh, the hate crime
committed against moi?

Yeah.
Damn.

Then I guess we have
to go ba*ls out.

Use every connection
we have.

Book some celebrity guests.

I'll DM
the cast of "Euphoria."

Kyle, your dad was in
a colon cancer commercial.

There's got to be
something there.

Actually, Chad...
Call your dad, Kyle.

...this isn't helpful
at all.

Kyle, call your dad.

So why don't you just let
the big kids handle this

and you can go back
to doing whatever it is you do?

Guys, can I have the room, please?

The room, please!

♪

Please tell me,
why must you be this way?

I know you did something shady
to become class president.

And I'm gonna figure it out.

Well, why don't I save you
the trouble, Denise?

I did it.

I did the whole thing.
What?

I vandalized my own locker
to make it look like a girl

had a horny crush on me.

And people accidentally
mistook that for a hate crime

and thus elected me
president.

You don't think I'm gonna go to
the administration about this?

Who are you gonna go to?
Charles?

The guy who goes to
Harry Potter World

on his birthday
with his mom?

The guy
who wears cargo shorts

with the freaking pockets
in the front of the shorts?

Go talk to him.

I dare you.

[ Gasps ] Witch.

Chad,
you know I can stand.

I have
chronic fatigue syndrome.

Okay,
it's just so jarring.

But what you apparently
didn't know...

...is that we record
all student council meetings.

You might've heard that if
you weren't 15 minutes late.

How dare you?

Chad: Charles?

Chad: Charles? The

Chad: Charles? The guy

Chad: Charles? The guy who

Chad: Charles? The guy who goes

Chad: Charles? The guy who goes
to

Chad: Charles? The guy who goes
to Harry

Chad: Charles? The guy who goes
to Harry Potter

Chad: Charles? The guy who goes
to Harry Potter World

on his birthday
with his mom?

The guy
who wears cargo shorts

with the freaking pockets
in the front of the shorts?

Go talk to him.

I dare you.

Okay.
First of all,

some crazy hurtful stuff
on that recording.

Shake that off.

Second of all, how many
student council members

were witness
to this little outburst?

Just us.

Okay, so, Chad, what do you
have to say for yourself?

Mmmm, that I'm really sorry
and I learned my lesson

and I'll be a good boy now.

And also sorry about the
Harry Potter World comments.

Great.
I think we're done here.

Bloop!
What the hell?!

Why did you delete it?

Oh, my God.
He said he's sorry.

Come on, Denise!

You really think
the school board

is gonna let us keep
this money if they find out

Chad fudged the whole thing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.

Plus, I'd have to fill out
tons of paperwork.

It's, like, honestly probably
double-digit numbers of forms.

This is insane.

He lied to win the election!

Is that what happened,
Chad?

I didn't totally lie so much
as I went along with the lie.

See? There you go.

He went along
with the lie.

It's barely anything.

So he's just gonna get away
with this scot-free?

It sounds like it, yeah.

Another way to look at this,
Denise,

is the school
has been gifted $10,000,

and no one got hurt.

I did!

I'm supposed to be president.

He doesn't even care
about the school.

I do!

Ohh, my God, if you care
about the school so much,

then why don't you let us
keep the money for the school?

Damn, son.
Checkmate.

Okay, can you help me
out here now?

Is the problem that I went
to Harry Potter World

or that I went
with my mom?

I would say it's the combination
of the two.

♪

[ Door closes ]

Thank you, Arthur.
You're released.

And who do I talk to
about the school credit

you promised me
for doing this?

Just, that w-- That part
will be later, Arthur.

Okay.

Exit the roof, Arthur.

Yes.

[ Door opens, closes ]

Hello, sweet boy.

Hello, Chad.

You want to take a wild guess
where we are right now, Peter?

It's very clear we're on
the roof of the school.

You're g*dd*mn right
we're on the roof of the school.

But do you know why
I summoned you up here?

No, Chad.

Because together,
we're on top.

Not just me. We.

It's symbolism, Peter.

You looooove your symbolism.

I should really get back
to class.

Don't trot off
before you try these.

♪

Pizza bagels?

That's right, man.

Pizza bagels,
your absolute favorite.

How?

I told the lunch ladies
these were for student council.

And they believed me.

That's the kind of access

you can start
getting used to, my man.

Dig in.

Mmm.

Room temp.

Just the way we like it.

I'm not supposed to eat
any nightshades

because of
my juvenile arthritis.

Peter, you're k*lling
the vibe of the moment.

Eat the bagels.

No, what am I doing?

I can't have these.

Peter, we're on the roof!

Eat a bagel!

I shouldn't.

These are blood bagels.

What are you doing, Peter?

What are you doing?!

This is all for us!

Look around you, Peter!

We're on the g*dd*mn roof,
for God's sake!

Just tell me what you want!

Anything!
I'll get it for us!

I want you to stop acting
like a jerk, okay?

I think all of this power
has gone to your head.

I don't even know
if you're a good guy anymore.

What do you want, man?

Just tell me.
I-I'll do anything.

I-I don't know, Chad.

This doesn't feel right.

I don't think we should
be friends anymore.

Why would you say
such a thing?

Peter.

Peter!

[ Sighs ]

Aaah!

[ Crash ]

sh*t.

Hey, Chad, you alright
back there?

Uh, yep, yep,
I'm all set.

Cozy and tight.

My sister doesn't
really ride in here.

It's, like, not a big deal to
toss the car seat in the back.

Liam, thank you for being so
concerned about my well-being.

I said I'm all set-tuh.

♪

Oh, Chad?

Chad?

Hello?
Hmm?

Hey, you strapped in too tight
or something?

Mnh-mnh, everything's fine.

♪

Jolted me.

[ Piano music playing ]

♪ We shall overcome ♪

God, what the hell is this,
you guys?

I literally spelled out
"hire Migos."

I requested
at least one Migo.

A-A-And you brought
a-- a choir that looks like

they exclusively do
children's funerals.

It's the school choir.

Well, they're bad, Denise.

This assembly has
to go perfectly.

We need to show people we're
really making a difference.

Yeah, you're really making
a difference, Chad.

Denise,
I have been real cool,

but I am reaching
a breaking point, my dear.

H-Have we heard back
from any famous people?

Has anyone heard back
from Anne Hathaway's camp?

We were able to get a cameo
from the lady

who plays Phyllis
on "The Office."

Phyllis on "The Office"?

Do you need more time?
Are you good?

I can probably beatbox
for another 10, 15.

Oh, my God,
you've been beatboxing?

And doing impressions.
Please don't do that.

I have been doing a mix
of things.

You cannot go rogue.
We talked about this.

Okay, you ready to go?
I am.

Let's do it!

I just want to take
this moment to thank the choir

for their lovely rendition
of "We Shall Overcome."

Please, if you guys
can just be helpful

and say a little prayer
for me in all--

in all your different
little religions.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I am so excited to introduce
the man

who got us our tolerance grant
and your class president,

Chad Amani!

[ Cheers and applause,
rap music plays ]

♪

[ Laughing ] Stop.

You guys.

Knock it off!

[ Chanting ] Chad, Chad,
Chad, Chad, Chad!

[ Crowd chanting "Chad" ]

Yes!

Oh, my God,
that's so embarrassing.

But I did love it.

Thank you.

This is a monumental day
in our school's history.

We have been given a grant
of tolerance

for our school's tolerance
because of me.

Applause break.

[ Cheers and applause ]

We have been through
some tough times this year,

but I think we can all agree

that the ends
justify the means.

But don't take my word
for it.

I want to play you a message
from a big-a*s Hollywood star

who is here to thank you all
for your tireless efforts.

Ladies and gentlemen,
the star of "The Office,"

that lady named Phyllis!

Jennifer, big congrats
on graduating med school.

That was
a huge accomplishment.

Lillian and Greg
are so proud of you.

'Kay, and that was Phyllis.

[ Scattered applause ]
Young man: Yeah, okay.

Young man: Yeah.

You guys, racism is over!

At Westpark High, and hopefully
eventually in the world soon!

And it wouldn't have been
possible

without the horrible abuse
I suffered.

I just want everyone
to get along

and I want people of all colors
holding hands, hugging,

and telling each other
awesome secrets.

[ Sighs, clears throat ]

And...

But we-- we have
a lot more work to do,

and yes, we can, and...

I'm a liar.

What?

I'm a little bit of a liar.

Oh, my God, Peter,
I said it.

The mike is on, right?

Chad, are you okay, man?

Mm... Peter, do something.

I can't tell them.
You should tell them.

I don't want to tell them,
Peter.

You're already
halfway there.

Oh, my God,
he's coming out.

I-I'm not coming out.

That's not what this is.

Chad, it's okay
if you're g*y, man.

Young man: Yeah.
Just come out.

Oh, my God, you guys,
if only it were that simple.

I wish I was a g*y person
coming out.

[ Chanting ] Be g*y! Be g*y!
Be g*y! Be g*y!

Peter, they think
I'm coming out.

Can we just tell them
I'm g*y

and then go on with the rest--
second half of our day?

Tell the truth.

I don't want to tell them.

Chad.
Mnh-mnh.

Go on.
You can do it.

♪

I was not the victim
of a hate crime.

What you saw happen
to my locker...

I did myself.

I vandalized my own locker.

You faked a hate crime?

N-No,
I-I-I didn't fake it.

I just went along with it.

You guys just wanted me
to be a victim so bad,

I didn't want
to let you down.

You guys wanted this.
You did this!

Whoa!
You guys! You guys!

[ Students booing ]

Okay, see, now, I feel like
this is a hate crime.

Right?

[ Booing continues ]

[ Indistinct shouting ]

Wow. Uh...

[ Groans ]

A-Alright, Peter,
give it to me straight.

Overall, what did you think
of the vibe of that assembly?

I'd say "chaotic"
and "heartbreaking"

are words
that come to mind.

Okay, yeah. People were
throwing vape pens at my head.

I--
Hey, Chad.

Hey, Reid.

Uh, were you
at the assembly?

Yeah.

And you were pretty much
paying attention the whole time

and saw what transpired?

Yeah.

Dang it.

Chad, I'm not mad at you.

Oh, thank heavens.

Oh, my God, well,
thanks for stopping by, bro.

I'm worried about you.

Clearly you have
a lot of demons.

We all do,
but yours are like... mm!

Yeah.

Look, I'm just hoping
you can find the real Chad

or something.

Yeah. [ Stammers ]
Where is he?

Bye, Pete.
Bye.

See ya, Reid.

Thanks for the notes, Reid.

Appreciate it.

Guess we're back to square one,
you and I.

Not really.

Last year, I'd say most kids
didn't know your name,

but now, they've
actively turned against you.

But they know my name.

♪ I'm just chilling
with my boys, yeah, ooh ♪

♪ I'm just, I'm just, I'm just ♪

♪ Chilling making noise,
yeah, ooh ♪

♪ I'm just, I'm just, I'm just ♪

♪ Filling up the joint,
yeah, ooh ♪

♪ I'm just, I'm just, I'm just
chilling till deployed, yeah ♪

♪ Catch us out on Dundas ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ With drugs and tons
of blunt wraps ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ We searching
where to munch at ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Get it, get it
eating pho, yeah, ooh ♪

♪ Get it, get it
like I'm broke, yeah, ooh ♪
♪ Get it, get it ♪

♪ Get it,
get it like I'm on that ♪
♪ Get it ♪

♪ Ay, we just waiting for
the call back ♪
♪ Ay ♪

♪ Everyone wants a piece ♪

♪ Yeah, I know exactly what
to call that, shady ♪

♪ Catch me with my boys ♪