02x02 - Unpacked Feelings

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

It'll just be, like, sexy, crazy,

you're a goddess.

-You're a feminist goddess.

-[Miriam] Okay, yeah.

[Julia] You're wearing a tank,

a white t-shirt.

-[laughs]

-This is not very exciting.

-Try these on first.

-[Miriam] Okay.

But what should I wear on top?

Let's see what they're like on you,

then we decide.

Miriam is throwing a l*sbian rager

in our apartment for her birthday.

[Julia] Nice! Hold on.

I like that.

A lot of side-boob.

-Good.

-I wanna see the necklace.

That's why I want you

to be super crazy sexy.

It's your birthday!

I'm really trying to be here for Miriam,

but I've got to tell you,

I'm really scared,

because this amicable divorce

I'm doing with Silvio, it feels like

it's not gonna happen.

Silvio reneged on our deal.

[intriguing music playing]

That is very hot.

Yes, but not these pants.

Black leather pants.

I'm not gonna make a drama out of it.

I'm just gonna smile

because this is so special.

It's such an important day

and I want Miriam to be celebrated.

It makes me so happy that she gets

to be celebrated for being herself,

because she

should be celebrated every day.

All right, let's do this thing.

[upbeat music playing]

-[Amelia] To f*cking Miriam!

-[cheering]

-[Marianna] Let's go get a shot.

-Let's do it.

This party is looking so sick.

I am so pumped right now.

I have rainbow pride Jell-O shots,

a photo booth,

but the best part of this whole party is

the "I Love p*ssy" neon light sign.

-[Miriam] Baby, do you love p*ssy?

-[Nathalie] I love p*ssy.

Me, I love p*ssy.

This party is special because this year

was really the first year

that I've truly embraced my sexuality.

I've overcome so many difficulties,

not accepting who I am.

So this is a celebration of who I am,

fully unrestricted.

[cheering]

[woman] Woohoo!

Yeah!

[Miriam]

Shlomo is definitely getting his fun on.

There's this girl at the party.

Her name's Marianna,

and she's Nathalie's teammate.

Shlomo's been crushing on her, actually.

It seems like she's into it,

so go Shlomo for keeping up.

[cheering]

First of all, I wanna say

thank you everyone so much for coming

to Miriam's birthday party.

-[Miriam's friends] Aww!

-I love you.

[Julia] Before I give you your card,

I just wanna say something to you.

You're the most special person,

and I love you so much.

I'm so lucky to be your mom

and you made my life better,

-and I really love you.

-[applause]

[Batsheva] A few words. A few words.

Thank you to everyone who's been here.

We're celebrating love here.

We're celebrating being yourself.

We're celebrating accepting who you are,

no matter where you come from.

And now I'm in this place

where my mother and my siblings

and my friends and my girlfriend

support me for who I am.

I love you all.

Let's be q*eer because that's who we are.

[cheering]

-Cheers to that.

-[all] Cheers!

-Hello! Happy birthday!

-Hey!

[Ra'ed] Mama! You look beautiful!

[Miriam] Hi! Our honorary man.

Am I allowed to be here? I'm lesbianese.

-You're lesbianese!

-[Ra'ed] There you go!

Hi, beautiful.

You are because you have

the biggest package.

-The biggest

-Biggest gift.

Erotic dice! Should we do it?

[Miriam] "Lick boobs"!

[cheering]

[Miriam] Lick it!

[screaming]

-We're old friends!

-[Miriam] I love dice!

Cheers!

Yeah!

[Miriam's friend] This is so good.

Shlomo, are we the only men at this party?

[Shlomo] I think so.

So, since last year,

I have decided to change my outlook on

dating and eating and a few other things.

I'm currently working at Elite World Group

in their legal department.

-[Miriam] You look nice behind the chair.

-Thank you.

And I used to be, like, super religious.

But I thought long and hard

and decided it wasn't for me.

[Julia] If you're dating someone,

it doesn't need to be

the one you're going to be with

for the rest of your life.

I'm currently on, like, four dating apps

and I'm still a virgin. Yeah, everybody.

I would like to lose it.

I think the way to accomplish that

is to not hold myself back.

As my mom says, getting comfortable

with being uncomfortable really works.

-You think there are straight girls?

-There are.

You have the pick of the litter.

I'll teach you what to do.

-What do I do?

-I'm a professional. I have a PhD in this.

My buddy Shlomo

needs initiative with women.

I mean, my buddy, I'm here for you

because I'm the best wingman

on the face of this planet.

[Ra'ed] Ladies,

may I invite you to a dance?

-[Marianna] Yes. Only if you lead.

-[Ra'ed] Shlomo, copy everything I do.

[Marianna] Oh! [laughs]

-[Ra'ed] One, two, three, hip!

-[Shlomo] You wish you were right here.

-[Marianna] There's the spin.

-And then the kiss comes in.

[Marianna] No! [laughs]

[blonde woman] Oh my. Okay.

I think I'm becoming straight-curious

after this party.

-Mission accomplished.

-[blonde woman] I love it.

Um, yes, I think Marianna

is very attractive.

Liquid courage makes you do things

that you might not have done otherwise.

[Marianna laughs] Ooh!

It's Nathalie's tennis team!

I thought you guys would be naked

having sex on the floor. What's going on?

This is my mom?

This is my mom right next to me.

[Batsheva] I'll go with the Titty Twister.

I'm having the best time at this party.

This is everything.

Especially to be able to celebrate

Miriam's birthday without Silvio.

[Maeghan] Suck on my titty.

[Batsheva] If he was here,

there wouldn't be loud music.

And there wouldn't be everybody running

around. It's fun to be able to let loose.

[cheering]

[Julia] I'm cold.

I'm getting into a nipple. I don't care.

How do I look as a nipple?

[Miriam]

What do you think of Nathalie?

-Honestly, that is your woman.

-I know.

I'll be your woman any day,

any f*cking time.

Truth be told,

I had a little crush on you.

-Me?

-You were my moment in my sexuality.

I was, like,

"Why am I attracted to this person?"

-Not fair!

-More crushes?

-Way to tell me three years later.

-I remember you were grinding on me.

-I was like

-I know! I remember!

I was like, "This is turning me on!"

[Amelia laughs]

[Miriam] Uh-oh.

Okay, I need to She was a pillar

in me realizing I was bisexual.

I hope that's not a problem.

She helped me.

-That was weird, babe.

-Is that weird?

You said, "You were turning me on,"

to someone else?

I was saying, when I was 18,

she helped me realize

That's not what I heard.

Like, "This turns me on now."

-No, that's not what happened at all.

-That's how it sounded.

Yeah.

I need another drink. I know I like that.

[Miriam] Can I talk to you?

Can you come into the bathroom?

Are you really upset?

-[Nathalie] Explain it to me.

-Okay.

-Do you want

-[Nathalie] Explain it to me.

[Miriam] We were having a conversation

about how much I love you.

And, literally, I said that when I was 18,

she turned me on and, therefore,

it helped me realize that I was bisexual.

-[Nathalie] It didn't sound like that.

-[Miriam] She doesn't turn me on now.

You turn me on right now.

I f*cking love you.

[Nathalie] Well, like, no.

What you said was real.

Oh my gosh.

[Miriam] Where are you going?

Wait. I don't want this night to be

about a fight. I want it to be about love.

Why did you say those things then?

It's so insensitive.

Like, it's not okay.

You have a f*cking girlfriend.

[sighs]

[relaxing music playing]

[Robert] All right. Okay.

Run.

[kisses]

Richard! Ah!

[relaxing music distorts and fades]

[laughs]

Oh my God, that is so funny.

No! [laughs]

[woman] Ernie!

No, no, no. No more. No, thank you.

The fire hydrant is closed.

[dog whimpers]

[Robert] Thank you.

Mm!

Oh my God, come closer to me.

I'm cold. [shivers]

You missed the hottest guy who was here.

Why didn't you keep him here?

-He was rushing out.

-Chase after him.

-Why do we do cold drinks?

-Ugly dog, hot guy.

-Ugly dog, hot guy.

-Why did you do cold drinks?

-You only drink iced.

-Yeah, but not when I'm very cold.

Where are you coming from?

You disappeared.

I woke up at 6:30 and went to the gym.

Had a crazy experience at the gym.

Crazy, crazy, crazy.

I cannot wait to tell you.

-You wanna sit down somewhere?

-Yeah.

This new gym that I've signed up for

has the hottest guys ever.

I was doing the pulldown machine

and then there was this big,

beautiful, bubble-butted bottom two feet

in front of my face just doing squats.

I maxed out the machine. I was

[snorts]

-Legit. I was, like, beast mode.

-You have a problem.

-You have an absolute problem.

-I can't.

Put this most beautiful thing

in front of me,

and what do you expect me to do?

I started talking. I'm like,

"Do you wanna have coffee?" Then

He said, "I have coffee in my apartment."

[Robert scoffs]

And I was like, "Excellent."

It's Folgers.

Ra'ed and I are in an open relationship,

which basically means

-Although we love each other very much

-Although.

-What?

-The way you said "although" was weird.

-Say it again.

-Just be quiet.

We love each other very, very much,

but we can sleep with other people

outside the relationship.

So I was on a budget call.

You were on a d*ck appointment.

-Babe, it was

-It makes sense. It makes solid sense.

[Robert] The guy's back.

He's right there.

Oh my God, look at his body.

-Jeez, he's so cute.

-He is very cute.

Ooh!

-Gotta love those g*y staches.

-My goodness.

-My goodness indeed. Lord.

-Do I need to go attack? He's alone?

What would your tactic be

if you were to approach him?

Very easy. Just talk to him

about something dumb like the weather

or some dumb question about what time

this place closes and opens.

-"What time?"

-[laughs]

-Oh my God.

-"What time does the dog park open?"

The gazelle is alone

and I come as the lion.

Oh my God. Richard.

Your father is about to embarrass us.

[Ra'ed] What a cute doggie.

Is this your dog?

I'm not actively participating

in the open relationship.

It's probably because I never thought

anyone would enjoy sex with me,

so I'm not gonna talk about it

or bring attention to myself.

But with this new body, I'm like,

"Oh gosh, I haven't explored the world."

[Robert] No. No. No.

-So Steve, do you have a partner?

-[Steve] I do.

[Robert] No. No. No.

-Hi.

-This is Steve.

-I'm Rob. Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

I noticed you when we walked in

and I thought

Ra'ed would enjoy speaking to you.

-I'm glad you said hi. I noticed you both.

-[Robert] He's very confident.

I'm the opposite. I have no, uh

-No ability to function with people.

-But we're working on it, honey.

-I think you're doing okay.

-[Robert] Thank you.

You have to learn, okay?

I'll teach you something.

-What're you gonna teach me?

-[Ra'ed] This is how you approach.

You say, "Tell me about your workout."

"How What do you do

to have such an amazing body?"

It would work on me.

[laughing]

-Have you ever been out to Danbury?

-I have not.

We just bought a place in Connecticut.

We're throwing a party

in Connecticut, and you're invited.

I would love to come.

I'll bring my boyfriend.

-There are strict rules in the house.

-What's that?

-Clothing prohibited.

-Okay. I'll pack light.

-"I'll pack light"!

-[all laugh]

I'm open to the idea

of hooking up with other men.

I think I come off as so much more

closed off than Ra'ed does.

I feel like I'm totally not approachable,

and it's his superpower.

-Did you learn anything?

-Well done.

-Did you learn anything?

-Only that you're a complete idiot.

[laughs]

[gentle music playing]

-[Nathalie] Hey, babe.

-[Miriam] Hi, baby.

[Nathalie] How are you feeling?

Um

I'm feeling okay.

Last night was supposed to be a night

of fun and exciting things,

but it did not turn out as expected.

And now I'm feeling a little upset

and I really wanna sort things out.

I did wake up early

and, like, I actually felt really bad

from yesterday.

Because [sighs] you know, it's like

I don't know. I was drunk and I, like,

upset at you 'cause me hearing something

that was totally out of context, you know.

Mm-hmm.

Obviously, like, I realize

how stupid that was now.

-It was stupid.

-You were really upset.

And I

I feel really ridiculous because

I haven't really seen myself

as a jealous person, to be honest.

Mm-hmm.

So I feel really bad.

-So I'm sorry.

-Yeah.

Well, thank you.

Seriously, thank you for apologizing.

Like, you don't have to worry about that.

I think you're so f*cking beautiful,

literally inside and out.

I love who you are.

I really need you

to be able to trust that.

-Yeah.

-Like, fully.

Because my life is so crazy,

because my family,

we've been through so much,

it scares me that one day

you're gonna be, like,

"This is too much.

I don't wanna be a part of this."

-"This is too much stress for me."

-Yeah.

That's why I get scared when we have

these little arguments about things.

It's that I feel like I'm not pleasing you

and it's the guilt that I have sometimes.

It's weird because I feel like I don't

wanna be feeling this way and yet I am.

Growing up in my community,

I internalized that women's jobs

were there to please their partner

and that being g*y is just not an option.

And now being in a q*eer relationship,

I still find it very hard

to not be in that mindset

that I have to constantly please,

and that it's okay

to experience pleasure myself.

It's something

I'm constantly struggling with.

I can't listen to myself

and I have to think about

I can think about myself in bed sometimes.

I feel that way.

You know that I would fake

-I used to fake orgasms.

-Yeah.

Just trying to think, please you and like

-Yeah.

-I couldn't think about myself.

And if I did, it just didn't feel right.

It's so crazy that there's a word for it,

internalized h*m*.

I don't think I realized

that it was a thing.

Like, the first time that, like,

I had an orgasm was with you.

Yeah.

Literally, instantly, after it happened,

I was like, "Why am I feeling so bad now?"

I know you've been going through a lot.

Like, why would you wanna be with me

if I'm not, like, if I'm not, you know

Yeah.

[sobs]

I'm sorry. That's really hard.

Come here.

I'm so sorry.

[Miriam sobs]

I'm so sorry.

It's okay, though. You're with me.

[Miriam sobs]

I love you.

I love you so much.

It's okay.

-Aww, baby, I love you.

-[laughs]

I'm so sorry. Like, it makes me so sad.

I'll be there for you. Through everything.

Thanks, baby.

And I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

[upbeat music playing]

[Julia] Yeah. Okay, great.

I'm just, um

Okay, so, uh, I'll call you back.

Yeah, I'll call you back.

I know, it's crazy. Okay.

[laughs]

Ooh, I love these.

Normally, Julia loves, loves, loves

to come with me, shopping.

She loves to pick things out for me.

She loves to see me try on things.

She'd be arms deep in the racks by now.

Yeah, he was there.

[Robert] I don't know what's going on.

I'm a little worried because she seems

worried. But something's definitely off.

Okay. Bye-bye. Okay, bye.

[Robert] Hey.

[sighs]

-[Robert] Busy day.

-Crazy day.

I think most divorces are really nasty,

especially when there's money involved.

I know that, you know,

there's a Jekyll and Hyde side to Silvio,

which is why I've been so nice to him,

so smiley, so warm.

So when our lawyer called me and he said,

"Julia, you better prepare

for a fight, be careful,"

I realized that I'm about to be f*cked.

[Julia chuckles]

-Oh, I kinda like it. That's fun.

-I knew you would.

-I love the colors.

-I knew you would. I know my man.

I am so excited.

Finally, I get to try on things

that I would never

have even attempted to try on.

I wouldn't even touch it on the hanger.

I just wanna walk into that store,

just toss my credit card at the register,

and walk the f*ck out of this store

looking snatched for the Gods.

-I think that's

-[Julia] Ha.

Is this too peasant?

Yes.

[Robert] A little shimmer, a little shine.

What have you been up to today?

[Julia] Oh my God.

I don't wanna talk about it.

-What? You don't talk about it?

-[sighs] Don't even ask.

So good things only.

-[exhales]

-[Robert] You had a crazy few days.

-I've had a crazy few days.

-Tell me.

The other morning, we were at the dog park

and Ra'ed had to share with me

his d*ck appointment of the morning.

-What does that mean?

-He had been previously engaged.

-I see. But you know that he's

-Of course. Yeah. It's an agreement.

-So what's the matter?

-He's pushing me and pressuring me.

Just to, like, I don't know,

participate more?

He wants you to have

as much sex with other men?

Yes. As he is. [laughs]

-I'm confused, sorry.

-You don't see the issue? The problem?

Yes, I'm a bit lost. Wait one second.

-Explain this to me because I'm slow.

-Are you seating?

-You need to sit?

-I am. It's been a day.

I'm gonna keep looking,

but I'll stand and talk.

[Julia] You're not complaining

that he's seeing other guys.

-I'm not complaining to him, for sure.

-But are you

In my head, I'm like,

"Mm, is this what I want?"

-[Julia] So is it what you want?

-I don't know.

I love him.

Am I in love with him? I think so. Yes.

I think that there are things

in our relationship

that we have to see eye to eye on

before I feel like I can

let my guard down to feel those feelings.

Okay, honestly, I think

-That I need this shirt.

-You need the shirt.

-That's not a question.

-Not a question.

This is definitely the only serious

relationship I've ever been in in my life.

I should choose kindness.

This is fun. Right?

-[Julia] I love that.

-It's a good color.

[Julia] Why did you do all this?

[Robert] All what? All this?

-Why'd I do all this?

-Yeah.

-To like, you know, like myself more.

-Like which part of yourself more?

-My body.

-[Julia] Exactly.

-You did this to like your body more.

-[Robert] Yeah.

That's what I think you need to explain.

"Look, you're ready for me to jump on in."

"Now I have this new fabulous body."

"You think I can switch from being

that person to this in seconds."

Yeah. The other thing is

I just love him so much.

-I'm so comfortable.

-He's so wonderful.

I love being around him.

He's my best friend.

-I love the way you guys are.

-He's great.

But you see, I think your mind and heart

haven't caught up with your body.

It's more about just talking to each other

and giving each other space and time.

Look at that.

I just saved $200 on therapy.

-You're welcome.

-[Robert] Let's add a shirt.

Let's add a shirt.

[upbeat music playing]

[Batsheva] Cute.

Wow, you have a lot of clothes.

-That's Ima's. I need to give it back.

-Where's Ima pile?

-Should make an Ima pile

-Put it over there.

I'm gonna go back to my apartment

and there's gonna be so many clothing

that I didn't remember I had.

-[Miriam] Yeah. That's exciting.

-I haven't seen it in so long.

[Batsheva] Ben has found a new apartment

that he is moving into.

I think it's gonna be a big adjustment

for me to move back in.

I went from living in my parents' home

to living with my husband.

I'm 28 years old

and I've never lived on my own ever.

I'm nervous about, like, feeling lonely.

And I'm gonna have to learn how

to take a shower at night by myself.

-[Miriam] Are you scared to do that?

-What if a bad guy came in?

[laughs] Are you serious?

Yes. [laughs]

I'm a scaredy-cat.

Batsheva moving out. She's living

on her own the first time.

She's going to bed alone, brushing

her teeth alone, doing everything alone.

Getting her mail. She hasn't gotten

her mail before, literally.

It's a huge deal, and I'm gonna try

to be as supportive as I can.

You can't leave your key in your door

and turn the security system on.

Before sleep,

you turn the security system on.

-When is this being installed?

-[Julia] Tomorrow.

[Miriam and Batsheva grunt]

[Batsheva] Okay. So he took the desk.

[Miriam, laughing] Oh my God!

He just took the desk.

-[Batsheva] Okay.

-That's interesting.

[Batsheva] Took the coat rack.

Didn't take the suitcase. That's nice.

I have one pan.

And

he left me the glasses

from Bubbe and Poppy.

Our marriage certificate. Just don't

ruin it because I need it to get a get.

-You haven't done that yet?

-No, I'm not Jewish divorced either.

[Miriam] Crazy.

I'm surprised he didn't take

this with him. I'm very surprised.

-[Miriam] Why?

-I don't know.

He's the religious one, you know?

You would think

he would wanna hold on to the ketubah.

-Bat, where's the garbage can?

-Did he take the garbage can?

[Batsheva] He took a nightstand.

Well, first of all, can we

This is weird.

Um

[Miriam] You'll be okay.

[Batsheva sighs]

-You're a strong, independent woman.

-I am a strong, independent woman.

I'm definitely super proud of Batsheva.

I think that it takes a lot of courage

to end a relationship with somebody

that you have so much history with.

But it's very triggering for Batsheva

to go into this apartment where

this is a place that they lived together

and built together.

I need to throw out some sh*t.

I don't wanna see

I don't want anything that triggers me.

Goodbye, towels.

And I wanna toss this.

This also reminds me of him.

-I wanna get rid of that treadmill.

-[Miriam] Okay.

[Batsheva] Left me my wedding album.

[somber music playing]

I think Batsheva does feel a void

in her life now that Ben's gone

because it's this whole part

of herself that she's missing.

[Batsheva] I need some alcohol.

I can't do this right now

completely sober.

Yeah. Let's drink.

[Miriam] She's my big sister

and seeing her like this hurts.

I just hope I can help by being there.

I am very thankful for my family.

[Miriam] Aww!

And, like, I'm also thankful

that nobody pushed me in either direction.

It was still like, "We love Ben."

"But if, like, you're not happy,

then we support you."

-There was never any sh*t talking on him.

-No.

-Because he was a great person.

-Yeah.

-I want him to be happy.

-Right.

I appreciate

that everybody wants him to be happy.

[Batsheva] Ben and I only talk now

for logistic reasons or divorce things.

I feel like usually when people

get divorced it's like

you were fighting all the time,

or there was infidelity,

or there's something dramatic happened.

But for us, when we would talk

about starting a family

and what that would look like,

it was like we wanted different things.

So let's just end it now while we both

have love and respect for each other.

But, like, honestly,

if we could still be best friends

right now, we would've continued

that relationship.

We just felt it was easier for us to have

a clean split since we don't have kids.

We don't have pets. There's really

no reason for us to stay in touch.

It would just make it

harder for us to move on.

I remember when, like,

the news broke and I called you.

[Miriam] Mm-hmm.

-You were there for me. Thank you.

-Of course, Batsheva.

I'll always be there for you.

You know that.

Like, seriously, no matter what.

[chuckles]

I'm your sister.

I know you'll be there for me also.

[chuckles]

It's not even a question, you know?

[Batsheva] Mm-hmm.

[sobs]

[upbeat music playing]

[Julia] Hello?

-Hi.

-Thank you so much for coming.

-[Robert] Hi.

-[Julia laughs]

[Amber] Julia's here.

Let me introduce you.

-Nice to meet you. What's your name?

-Shmuel.

Shmuel. You must be very proud

of your mommy.

Your mommy is a warrior.

-Did you know that?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-[Amber] He's like, "Yeah."

[Amber laughs]

Amber is running for New York City Council

to help protect women

against the archaic laws

in the ultra-Orthodox world we come from.

For example, a man can divorce his wife

for any reason whatsoever.

He can beat her children, doesn't matter.

If he doesn't agree to get a divorce,

she cannot divorce him.

I'm really excited that I'm in a position

to help these women.

I mean, the purpose of everything

that I do is freedom for myself,

freedom for my children,

freedom for as many women

as humanly possible.

If I can free these women

from this oppression,

if I can be part of that,

then it makes all the rest of the hell

I'm going through worth it.

[Julia] So tell us your story.

Explain where you come from,

how you got here, what made you run.

Okay. So going through the community,

there was a lot of pressure to marry.

Of course.

And we decided to get married after, like,

the first day.

-[Julia] There you go.

-[Adina] Wow.

[Amber] So I'm starting to see red flags.

He's getting, like, agitated all the time.

-[Julia] Uh-oh.

-[Amber] And, um

then there was a big incident.

[Julia] What was the big incident

if you don't mind sharing?

Um

I'm so sorry.

I, um He got really mad

and he, like, started punching the walls.

And, um

my son was very little

and I got really scared and I literally,

at that minute, I called my rabbi

while he was in the bathroom screaming.

And I was like,

"What do I do? Do I call the police?"

"I don't wanna call the police

if it's gonna be the wrong thing to do."

He was like, "Call the police."

And that's when I said,

"I have to be out of this relationship.

I have to get out."

-[Amber] I said, "I want a divorce."

-Is there a formal process?

-Do you have to ask through a rabbi?

-Basically, a Jewish marriage

um, is something that

while you both go and agree to,

if you're a woman

and you wanna get out of it,

you actually need the man to let you out.

You can't get divorced

without your husband's permission.

Exactly. You're being forced to stay

connected to someone who hurt you

and harmed you, and you can't walk away.

And most people who have hurt

and harmed a woman are not gonna be,

"Oh, yes, let me free you.

Let me give you a divorce."

And he can also get remarried

and have more children

-while she's waiting for her freedom.

-Oh, wow.

So he can get remarried.

He can continue his life.

She's stuck.

She's not divorced,

but she's not living with him.

So she's a woman on her own in limbo.

In my world, there's this very traumatic

situation called the agunah.

An agunah is a woman

who has left her husband,

but usually if you're leaving

with your husband not

giving you permission,

your life has to be really hell.

She's literally left alone

for the rest of her life

.

And she can't remarry, and she has no one,

and she's a second-class citizen.

And the thing is that you all love

the religious community. It's beautiful.

It's not about that.

It's about changing those things

that are harming women, that's it.

The rest is beautiful.

[Julia] Of course, in that world,

there are a lot of strong,

loving, committed relationships.

It doesn't mean that the law is just.

And so I wanna help women

escape a*usive men

or worlds in which they have no rights.

And so I'm really excited that

I have found a group of committed women.

I do believe

we're gonna change history together.

I think there is no knowledge

in this community.

People don't understand abuse.

They don't understand trauma.

They don't understand red flags.

They feel like you are agunah.

That's the abuse.

But no, if he's a narcissist,

then you are a victim

of narcissistic abuse.

You need help.

You are probably suffering

from complex PTSD.

They need to learn more.

Yeah.

[Julia] When people leave

any fundamentalist community,

they need education.

Because when I left,

I had no one and nothing.

I had no support system, no housing.

So my idea is to buy a building

where women can come with their families

and live a very beautiful Jewish life.

There is a volunteer EMT organization

within our community,

which only accepts male EMTs.

Hatzala is the ambulance service

of the Jewish Community.

-They don't call 911. They call Hatzalah.

-[Robert] Okay.

So there was a group of women

who had asked to join

and there were

continuous barriers of entry.

The claim is that there's equal rights,

but every time there's an attempt

for a small amount of liberation,

there's just so much patriarchal pushback.

-[Robert] Beautifully said.

-Beautifully.

You don't understand.

For these women to come here

-Very brave.

-One of the bravest things I've ever seen.

I mean, I'm not kidding. Like, I know

what you're going to deal with

because you're here.

I had great training for being miserable

on the inside and smiling on the outside.

It took me eight years to plan my escape

because you always have to have

your own money, your own things

to walk out the door.

And so, from a financial perspective,

getting out from under a man's control,

those are the challenges.

They took a massive toll on me.

I understand how difficult it is. I've had

many people reach out to me saying,

"I wish I could talk.

I wish I could share. I'm so scared."

I really wanna help women

get out of horrible marriages.

[upbeat music playing]

[somber music playing]

[Julia] It's in the press already.

He's done it already.

He's already done it.

-It's in the press.

-[Jeffrey] I just heard too.

[Julia] Have you not spoken to Silvio?

Have you not seen what's going on?

He sent a company-wide email

saying I'm no longer CEO.

And Paolo Barbieri has been elected CEO.

He fired me.

-[Jeffrey] You're kidding.

-I'm not kidding.

They posted on all their social media.

Today, he made

a global public announcement.

He's a f*cking lunatic.

-He sent an email to the whole firm?

-[Julia] That's correct.

The entire company.

Then he shut off my email access.

He took me off the credit cards.

He took me off the bank statements.

He has lost his freaking mind.

Oh my God. [sighs]

[Julia] Everyone's panicking.

Nobody knows what's happening.

Um, how are you?

-I'm super angry. He's crazy.

-Okay.

He's gonna ruin everything we've built.

[Julia] I don't understand it.

I gotta be honest, I don't.

I'm the face of EWG.

I'm the person

who has all the relationships.

I'm the one who created these

new divisions, built these new divisions.

I've spoken with the investors.

I'm the person that they know.

And now he fired me.

It feels like I'm back in Monsey

where I started,

where men rule my life

and control me

and I have no voice.

"Oh, Julia, copacetic. Happy divorce."

[expl*si*n sound]

Every single day, I make my decisions ♪

No one tucks with me ♪

Oh, you only want for you only ♪

You won't catch me looking back ♪

Babe, I have no time for that ♪

Gotta keep making that paper ♪

All you only want for you only ♪

You won't catch me looking back ♪

Babe, I have no time for that ♪

Gotta keep making that paper ♪

All you only want for you only ♪

Once ♪