01x03 - Fred the Cleric

[bunniefuu]

[thunder rumbles]

[uneasy music plays]

- I don't like the look

of that storm

- You're right Let's find

a place to wait it out.

- Huh?

[demons growl]

[barrier vibrates]

What happened?

They all just ran away.

- Uh

- Huh?

- It's a barrier.

A remarkably

powerful one at that.

- [Both] Hm

- [Fred] Those talismen are

what has been keeping you

safe from the demons.

You can tell by the fact

that we haven't had

a single demon related

casualty in the village.

But unfortunately, new species

have appeared as of late,

so it's important that

we stay vigilant.

Which is why

We've taken the liberty

of creating brand new talismen

for your safety!

We clerics have created for you

the ultimate protection tool!

And for today only,

we're offering them

at a special discounted price!

- [Male Villager] I'll take one!

[villagers clamor]

- [Female Villager]

One for me, please!

- Everyone calm down!

- If you want the blessing,

please form an orderly line.

- What's all the fuss about?

- [Max] Demon-resistant

talismans, huh?

- We're here

We might as well buy one, right?

[both laugh]

- Huh?

How about you folks?

These tried and true talismen

are guaranteed

to protect you in the event

of a demon attack.

- Do they actually work?

- Of course they do!

They're effective against even

the most powerful of demons.

Just hold the talisman up

like this, and abracadabra!

They'll go running off

with their tails stuck

between their legs!

- Yeah I smell a scam.

- Huh?

If you have no business here,

then leave.

- Hm?

- This is a holy place,

and slovenly tourists

such as yourselves

are not welcome to

- [All] Huh?

[thunder rumbles]

[demons snarl]

[electricity crackles]

[barrier shatters]

[Fred pants]

[Fred grunts]

[clerics exclaim]

[villagers scream]

- Huh?

[footsteps boom]

[demon grunts]

[man shouts]

[Leo exclaims]

- Get out of here!

- Yeah, okay!

[Fred pants]

[demons snarl]

- You two aren't normal

travelers, are you?

- Hm.

- And by the looks of it,

you're no ordinary cleric.

[adventurous music plays]

[demons snarl]

- Let's do this.

[all shout]

["One Room Adventure"

by MADKID plays]

- Take a look, Max.

- 'Kay, take a look at what?

- I was hoping to get your

opinion on something,

if you don't mind.

- Uh Hold on, Max!

You were never supposed

to see any of that

[Max grunts]

- This is bullshit.

[Max grunts]

[Demon Lord exclaims]

[door shuts]

- [Demon Lord] Man

- What do you think's gotten

into Max all of a sudden?

- He's not a real big fan

of sharing his feelings

Plus, I'd imagine

it's difficult for him

to talk about his

former friend's betrayal

[melancholy music plays]

- Maybe I'll hit up the

peep show or somethin'.

[Max sighs]

- Excuse me, sir?

I am with Free Day Magazine.

[camera shutter clicks]

Your name is Max, right?

[Max groans]

Are you familiar with

this recent video?

The man being chased

right here

That's you, isn't it?

- [Max] Uh Yeah.

- [Reporter] And who is

this woman?

- [Max] A friend of mine.

- Are you serious?

This naked lady's just a friend?

- Yeah, well

When we met up for drinks,

she had a few too many and

Well, y'know things got

- [Reporter] I have to ask,

she's not a minor, is she?

- [Max] No, of course not!

I made extra sure of that!

- [Reporter] And do

the two of you have

a physical relationship?

- [Max] Oh, I mean no,

I wouldn't say that, I mean

'Cause she's, you know

Well, no, no, it's

nothing like that, no

- [Reporter] Then how would you

describe this woman, exactly?

- How am I supposed to

answer that?

- [Reporter] Her line of work,

for example.

- Oh, yeah

I think she mentioned

working in an office

Sorry for takin' up

so much of your time!

I'll be on my way.

- One more question, Max!

Any comment on the Gamma

Republic's ill*gal occupation

of the Kingdom's

northernmost territory,

led by Leo the Warrior?

[Max sighs]

[reporter grunts]

[Max grunts]

[Max sighs]

- Bye.

[camera shutter clicks]

- Let's follow him!

We're gonna have to find out

his exact home address.

I want to be there the

moment that woman comes out

of his house and catch him

in another naughty act!

- You're the boss.

[reporter laughs sinisterly]

- [Reporter] What!?

He definitely went this way,

we saw him!

How in the hell?

- Whoa, he shook our asses

pretty quick

- [Reporter] Son of a biscuit!

[Max groans]

- Fantastic.

Ended up soaking

my whole damn leg.

Real smooth, loser.

Can't believe someone actually

recorded that shitshow

But I don't think they suspect

her of bein' a demon,

so that's a good thing, I guess.

Can't even frickin'

take a walk in peace

[sinister sound plays]

[door shuts]

- It would appear that he lives

in this ramshackle building.

- Well isn't this pathetic.

The one they once worshiped

as a mighty hero

is living in a dump of

an apartment, ha.

Let's move.

- [Lim And Vodka] Yes sir.

- [Demon Lord] Oh my God,

what's wrong with you!?

Waltzing in with filthy soggy

pants, are you a child?!

- [Max] Oh, shut up!

It's not like I planned

this crap, y'know?

- Hurry up and get changed!

Is your underwear soaked too?

- [Max] No, it's fine!

Hey, cut it out!

Quit tryin' to

take my pants off!

- You can't possibly be

comfortable in these!

- [Max] Leave me alone!

- C'mon, I can start

some laundry.

- [Max] Alright, fine!

I'll take 'em off!

Just, y'know, look away!

- What!? Why're you acting

all timid and bashful now?

You've been wearing boxers

since the day I got here!

- I still don't want

you lookin' at my!

[doorbell rings]

- [Demon Lord] A visitor?

See? This is why you need

to clean yourself up!

[suspenseful music plays]

[both exclaim]

[doorbell rings]

- [Max] Hide.

- [Demon Lord] But Max

I sense extremely powerful

magic behind that door.

- Don't argue.

You bein' here is only gonna

make things complicated.

Get outta sight.

- Alright, got it.

[doorbell rings]

- I heard ya'.

Gimme a minute.

[Max grunts]

[Max gasps]

- Well, well, there you are.

- What in the hell?

- Hiya, Max.

It's been a while.

It sure is good to see you

my old friend.

- What's this about, Fred?

What do you want from me?

It's been years.

- That's no way to greet

your ol' buddy, ol' pal!

We're still friends, aren't we?

I was feeling nostalgic

and dropped by.

- Were they nostalgic too?

- [Fred] I just happened to be

in the area for work.

Look, I'll make it

quick, alright?

[Max grunts]

Ah, don't worry

I'm going to have them

wait outside.

Hey guys, go take a break.

- [Lim And Vodka] Sir.

- What do you say,

will that work?

Just two friends

having a chat.

Where's the harm in that

every once in a while, eh?

[Max grunts]

- It's on you for not

callin' ahead and askin'.

Wasn't exactly prepared

to entertain

the Chief Secretary of

the Magic Bureau.

- Come on, I'm just an ordinary

guy when I'm amongst friends.

[Demon Lord groans]

You've got this place

all neat and tidy.

I remember you being more of

a slob when we were younger.

Hm?

[Fred laughs excitedly]

Blazebringer, the Holy Blade!

You shouldn't just leave it

on the floor like that.

- Ain't got a use for it.

- Well, maybe not needing

a weapon is a good thing.

But why not store it in

the closet or something?

- 'Cause my place is cramped.

I ain't got space

for that thing.

- Yeah, I guess not.

- Would ya' spit it out already?

Why're you here?

And by the way

How'd you even find out where

the hell I live anyway, Fred?

- Huh.

Those were some good times,

my friend.

Brings back memories

of our fight against

the demons ten years ago.

- Are ya' gonna tell me why

you're here or not, I'm busy.

- [Fred] Ah, just

let me reminisce!

Remember back when we had to

slip through their defenses?

My Magic Shroud Circle

came in pretty handy didn't it?

Remember?

It prevents those on the outside

from perceiving those inside?

[Max gasps]

[Max grunts]

Okay, fine then.

I suppose that's enough

reminiscing for now.

I wanted to discuss the

Gamma Republic situation.

- [Demon Lord]

The Gamma Republic

The new country

formed three years ago

by Leo the Warrior when he

defected from the Kingdom.

- They claim to be a republic,

but that is not the truth.

They're t*rrorists

illegally occupying land

that belongs to the Kingdom.

Their moron of a leader

assembled all the traitors

and criminals who defected,

and their military has shown

a concerning level of growth.

At this rate, the Kingdom

will be thrown into turmoil.

And you know as well

as I do, Max

that Leo's nothing short of

ruthless in battle.

- Are ya' tellin' me that

we're on the brink of w*r?

- [Demon Lord] Former comrades,

forced to fight

against one another

- It's not like they're

going to show up

on our doorstep tomorrow.

But we are bound to

cross swords.

So we need to prepare ourselves.

- Yeah, well

Best of luck with

all that sh*t, then.

- You know, don't you?

What I'm here to ask you.

[Fred sighs]

Fight alongside me.

With your help, we can stop Leo.

[sighs] Please.

If you were to rejoin

the Royal Army,

we can bring a swift end

to this dispute

with the Gamma Republic.

And in fact Leo might

even decide to surrender

before it turns into a w*r.

The longer the

fighting drags on,

the greater the needless

casualties on both sides.

I don't want any more bloodshed.

Not any of our blood,

nor theirs.

So please

I need your help

avoiding a bloodbath!

- In case you haven't noticed,

I'm retired.

I couldn't keep up with

a bunch of soldiers anymore.

Plus, my back's been

givin' me some problems.

Sorry, but fightin'

Leo ain't in the cards.

- I'm asking because

you're retired!

If you cooperate with

the Royal Army,

you're guaranteed

a much higher rank.

It's the perfect chance

to get back in the game!

I'm sure your savings

must have dried up by now.

[Demon Lord sighs]

[grunts] A man of

your great stature

doesn't belong in

this little sh*thole!

- You're givin' me

too much credit, Fred.

This is what my life

has amounted to.

This is it.

I'm not meant for all that.

Sorry man, but I ain't

playin' ball.

Ask someone else.

- I'm sure you have qualms

about fighting an old friend

Right?

- [scoffs]

Do I look like someone

with a moral compass?

Screw all that nonsense.

Not for the Kingdom,

for the Republic,

and definitely not

for the people.

It's all bullshit.

You're wasting your time.

Go home.

- Okay, fine.

That's too bad, Max.

Oh, well

Could ya' at least see me out?

[Max grunts]

- [Demon Lord] Thank goodness,

he's leaving.

I swear, he scares

the bejesus outta me

- [Fred] You said you were busy.

And God knows it

certainly looks like it.

- What's that supposed to mean?

- [chuckles] Oh, come on Max.

I saw the video of you.

Playing grab-a*s in the street

with some woman in

her birthday suit?

- Ah!

- You're going to get yourself

in trouble like that!

Save the naked hijinks for

inside the bedroom, my good man.

- Thank you so much

for the advice.

- So, where'd ya'

meet this girl?

Gotta say, she was

quite the looker.

- Does it really matter?

It's not that big a deal

- Well, I would say it matters

very much indeed.

I mean, why would you be

hanging out with a demon?

Ordinary people out there

might not have noticed,

but you can't fool me, Max.

I'm right, aren't I?

After all, we k*lled tons of 'em

together not too long ago

- [Max] So?

What're you getting at?

- I don't give a rat's a*s

whether you're involved

with the demons or not,

it doesn't matter to me.

If you can coexist with them,

then more power to you.

But what will the others think?

It'd be the scandal

of the century

and the media would

have a field day.

[Max breathes shakily]

"The Hero,

Sleeping with a Demon?"

"A Betrayer of Humanity."

Once the public

finds out about it,

you would be branded

a traitor, just like Leo.

- I don't know what you think

you saw in that video

But that woman was

not a damn demon.

- Relax.

No one knows but me.

Not even any of my subordinates.

For now.

Think it over, good buddy

Return to life a hero

Or become a wanted man.

- [Max] Ya' got any proof?

You know, of me bein'

involved with the demons?

'Cause ya' can't just talk

outta your a*s based on a hunch.

- Max I do wish you

wouldn't underestimate me.

It's much too late to try

and hide the evil aura

emanating from the inside

of your closet.

Not to mention

Compared to what I saw in that

video, this is much more

sinister.

[Max grunts]

[tense music plays]

Can I take a quick peek?

- Do whatever you want.

And then get the hell out.

[ghost breathes roughly]

[Fred gasps]

[ghost breathes roughly]

[door closes]

- Huh?

You okay?

What's the deal?

- [Fred] Max have you

noticed anything strange

in the time that

you've lived here?

- Huh?

Whatcha mean, Fred?

Anything "strange"?

- You mean you don't know?!

Look this is not!

- The hell's gotten into you,

ya' little freak?

Ya' look like you've seen

a ghost. You good?

- I gotta get going Sorry

- Huh?

'Kay, then.

- No no! Stay back!

- What's with you?

You're actin' weird.

- Ah, stop!

Don't come any closer!

[Fred screams]

Oh, God [whimpers]

This is bad

Really, really bad

[door closes]

- What a damn psycho.

Guess that means

we're safe for now.

[Demon Lord sighs]

- Is he gone?

Whew, that was a close one.

- Did you do somethin' to him

in the closet or what?

- Hm? 'Course not.

I didn't do anything.

I was hiding on one of

those old futons.

And thanks to my rad

powers of deception,

we managed not to get caught!

- Hm

Are you sure

that's what happened?

Well, either way

[grunts] I'm beat.

[Max sighs]

- [Demon Lord] Max

Your friends, they're

- Don't even.

They've got their lives,

and I've got mine.

This ain't somethin'

I can help 'em with.

- I guess so

I suppose you're right.

Also please forgive me.

It's my fault that you ended up

in such a precarious position

- Yeah, it is.

You're nothin' but trouble,

I swear

They left me alone this time,

but if worse comes to worst,

I might actually end up

havin' to leave the Kingdom

- Well, in that case

You can live with me!

[Max chuckles]

- [Max] Yeah, right.

Then I really would be

a "betrayer of humanity"

- Um, Mr. Secretary?

What happened in there,

are you alright?

- [Fred] [heaves] I'm fine

- The Hero didn't try

to attack you, did he?

- No, that's not

Doesn't matter, let's just go.

Take me home, would ya'?

Not back to the office

- Sorry, sir.

I'm afraid you've got a meeting

on the magical reactor project.

- [Fred] Dammit

[Fred groans]

You're not off the hook

yet, Max.

I will convince you to

help me eventually

And it's in your own

best interest, too.

But I'm never going back

to your apartment!

- [Lim] Mr. Secretary

Would you mind at least

trying to walk?

[all pant]

- You think that was

all of them?

[electricity crackles]

Ah!

- Watch out!

[Leo groans]

[Leo grunts]

Huh?

[magic twinkles]

[Leo chuckles]

[demon grunts]

[Max grunts]

[adventurous music plays]

[demon roars]

[Max exclaims]

[demon grunts]

[Max exclaims]

[demon groans]

[Max pants]

[Max exclaims]

- Huh?

[demon laughs maniacally]

[lightening strikes]

[all sigh]

- Y'know

You're not half bad, buddy!

Name's Leo, nice to meet ya'.

[Fred chuckles]

Hm?

- You guys were right,

it's a scam.

Been pushing these

crappy talismen a while.

It's been an easy way to milk

these folks out of their money.

And now that the cat's

outta the bag

I can't rightly

stay here anymore.

- [Max] But you did go to

great lengths to protect them

all the same, didn't you?

- Uh

- You created a barrier

that shields the

whole town from demons.

That takes some skill.

- Hm?

- Wait, you're the one

who did that!?

No freakin' way!

Dude, that's awesome!

- [Max] Wanna come with us?

- Huh?

- My name is Max.

What's yours?

- Name's Fred.

- We could use

a cleric on the team

Whaddya say?

[gentle music plays]

[Fred chuckles]

["Mirai=Teleport"

by Nenne plays]