01x02 - Babygirl

[bunniefuu]

LOUD MUSIC OUTSIDE
OF THE BATHROOM

Alicia Keys, I need your help
with something.

I told you to knock if the door's
closed! Oh, man, it stinks!

Why you stood there, then?
And they say girls don't poo.

Yuck, man!

Close the door!

Because you shut the sleeping pills,
yeah, with the MD pills so that them

sure that they can shuffle all night
but wake up in bed, you feel me?

I got these things for cheap.

That's probably
cos they're full of rat poison.

You know, if you want to earn
some extra money,

my friend Bluey runs a strip club.

Get you clapping them
cheeks for cash.

I told you already, I ain't showing
no-one my p*ssy, Saleem.

What are these for?
Anti-psychotics.

And, what,
you don't need them any more?

When my mum got sent back to
Somalia, I didn't have anywhere

to sleep cos they took her flat,
so I was bare on the road and that.

I got into one mad situation
at a shopping centre and then, boom,

they sectioned me for no reason.

So why should I still take that?

Do you know, yeah,

that everyone in the UK's going to
be on some kind of drug by 2025?

They don't sleep.

But if the doctor gave you them...
Am I a crack head?

Man don't take pills.

I sell pills.

Sometimes I get, like, anxious
and stuff.

And I just want to smoke
and make it go away, so...

You're crazy, man.

What's happening, hustlers?

Anxious!

PHONE BUZZES

Hello?

Who's this?

No, I ain't had no accident, man.

LOUD MUSIC
FROM OUTSIDE ROOM

Let me hear it, then.

No, it's not finished.

Why do you never finish
any of your songs?

I do, I just don't sing out loud.

Boy, I remember you on the school
talent show,

you were Little Miss Confident.
What happened?

Come on, sing for me.

All right.

# I know I'm alone and nobody knows

# What I got to do for my survival

# In an expensive f*cking city

# Opinions don't pay my bills

# I know that me hustling will

# I can do this, never gonna quit

# I can make it, I'm gonna be rich

# I can do this, I'm that b*tch

# And I ain't gonna lose cos I'm
ready to, ready to... #

That's all I got. Yeah?

Go on, then!

I like it.

What's it about?

Hey, I'm Sasha, this is
the first of many songs on my page.

I'd be so lucky and blessed if you
make sure you like and subscribe.

What the f*ck?

Sorry. Wrong room.

You all right?
Yeah, I just came to pick up.

Are you living here?

Nah, well...

Yeah, I'm just crashing for a bit.

My flat got all this water damage
and it was a madness, so.

Babe, you don't need
to be living with Saleem.

I'm not, it's cool, I'm moving
into a new flat, like, tomorrow.

When I first came to London,
I was crashing with a mate.

It was proper rank.

So I know how sh*t it is
when you don't have any money.

Did I say I don't have any money?

Not that it's any of your business

but I put all of my money into
making my EP. Anyway, you can talk.

What's that supposed to mean?

Well, if you're so rich, then
why are you getting naked online?

Bare weird videos,
like, what the f*ck is that?

Oh, I've got a new subscriber!

I make thousands of pounds on
that site every month.

I'll teach you, if you like.
No, I'm all right, thanks.

Once you know how to do it,
it's like making free f*cking money.

We could even do some videos
together. Ebony and ivory, baby!

Oh, come on, don't be so stosh.

Honestly, I'm good.

Well, maybe I'll see you around.

Unless you want to stay in here
your whole life, getting high.

What you saying?

You think man should jump on
this Vigo wave?

Come sleep in my bed.

No, I'm fine here.

You was all up in my bed
when you were wanting to stay here.

What about now?

You some prestige lady?

f*ck off, Saleem.

You're funny.

David,
you need to have an appointment.

I'd love to work but I'm sick, I
can't. I can't see out of this eye.

I'm not fit to work.

I wouldn't wish it on
my worst enemy.

Sasha Clayton.

# This is the East End

# Where the streets ain't
paved with gold

# It's paved with souls

# Yellow f*g smells

# And claret-and-blue goals

# Huh, blue like my toes, cold,
sleeping alone

# On the sofa of a crackhead

# I ain't got no dough

# We're the forgotten ones

# Crabs in a bucket,
like they owe us one... #

I can't get through on the phone!

Without evidence, I can't restart
the payments. Are you kidding me?

There's nothing else I can do,
I'm afraid. It doesn't work!

This is a joke.
You're playing with people's lives.

Sasha Clayton.

It says here that you're not able to
live with your mum any more.

She doesn't want me there, no.

Do you have a letter from her?

We're not on good terms right now,
so, no, I ain't got a letter.

But I also ain't got a house.

I see you haven't had
a job for a while.

I'm not the sort of girl who's going
to be working in

f*cking Wetherspoons for £8 an hour.

Well, I can put you in touch with
an agency who can talk to your mum.

Otherwise, you might be considered
intentionally homeless.

Have you thought about renting
privately? With what money?

Aren't you supposed to help me? No.

You are a lazy scrounging stain
on the nation.

# Don't blame us

# You're a lazy c**t

# You think that you
deserve everything

# Have some pride in yourself,
yeah, yeah, yeah

# Have some pride in yourself,
yeah, yeah, yeah

# Don't blame us

# You're a lazy c**t

# Life is sh*t
and the cost of living is high

# Sky-high, like my dreams

# But p*ssy's price ain't right

# Who wants to work a 9 to 5,
we're just trying to live and thrive

# Bottom of the barrel,
f*cking vilified, this is life

# Everybody out here looking
low and depressed

# Because when you sign on,
you sign away your self-respect

# Don't let the b*stards
get you down

I'm trying.

# Cos there's more power in
a smile than a frown

# No money, more bills

Nana's tooting crack again.

# Foodbanks, bills

# All alone, it's a shame

# Pay cheque to pay cheque

# Pay cheque to pay cheque

# Don't blame us

# You're a lazy c**t

# You think that you
deserve everything

# Have some pride in yourself,
yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey, hey!

# Have some pride in yourself,
yeah, yeah, yeah

Stop that now!

# Don't blame us

# You're a lazy c**t

# Standing in line,
trying to hide my face

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# f*ck me,
I've had a fall from grace

# Whoa, whoa, whoa

# All that promise
and it's turned to waste

Whoo!

# Being broke's got a bitter taste

# My kids are too hungry to sleep

# Tired of our broken community

# Yeah, you worked hard,
still no relief

# Man, the juice really ain't
worth the squeeze

# Don't blame us

# You're a lazy c**t
Don't blame us

# You think that you
deserve everything

# Have some pride in yourself,
yeah, yeah, yeah

# Have some pride in yourself,
yeah, yeah, yeah

# Don't blame us

# You're a lazy c**t
Don't blame us

# Don't blame us

# You're a lazy c**t
Don't blame us

# You think that you
deserve everything

# Have some pride in yourself,
yeah, yeah, yeah

# Have some pride in yourself,
yeah, yeah, yeah

# Don't blame us

# You're a lazy c**t... #

I'm just a f*cking number to you
lot! I'm just a f*cking number!

This is f*cking k*lling me.

This is k*lling me.

f*ck.

Hey! Abi!

Surprised you remembered
how to find my flat. Don't be silly.

Nice T-shirt.

I never done that fire, if you're
going to start with that again.

It's not my business.
Cool, cos we broke up. So, whatever.

Have you spoken to him?

You know, most people don't go out
when they're 14

and stay together forever.

Oh, hey, Sash!
Are you joining in for puzzle time?

Yeah, I am. If that's cool?

Excuse me.

Ugh, my head is k*lling me.

Did you have a flatmate still
live here? Naomi?

She's always at her girlfriend's.

Which is good, because we were
so loud when we came in last night.

Abi carried me! It was ridiculous.

You were ridiculous.

I ended up having sex with some guy
in Ethan's hot tub!

Funny. Mmm, funny.

So, does Naomi not really live here
any more, then? No, she does.

And
you, such a sl*t shamer!

Why, because I don't want to see

your n*pples bouncing
up and down at 3am?

Hashtag, free the nipple!

It's my feminist prerogative.

You can't say, ooh,
I'm a feminist, but also,

look at my t*ts, I'm so empowered.

I didn't even know people
were looking.

Listen, you posh girls are more,
you know...

If we did that round here,
everyone would be chatting sh*t,

saying you're loose.

I'm not trying
to end up in no-one's group chat.

Yeah, well,
if people are on to you anyway,

might as well do what do you want.

DOORBELL
Are you all right?

You seemed really messed up
when I called the other night.

The thing is,
I come here cos I need...

Hello.

Mum's made you some food. In here.

Could have got it yourself.

Hey, you all right? Hi.

I'm your elder, respect me, I beg.

You're barely a year older than me.

Is that why Mum's
still washing your clothes?

Funny seeing you again.

When did you two see each other?

I saw him at some sh*t event.

How's the music going?

I'm actually working
in a studio at the moment.

What, could you get me free studio
time? Ha! He's the receptionist!

He went all the way to Japan to come
back and be a tea boy. I could try.

I swear, she been hating me
since school, right?

I'll see you guys later.

GUYS TALKING
IN THE LIVING ROOM

Alicia Keys, come, come.

What you doing with that?

Be cool.

Saleem, just give me
my f*cking sh*t.

"Because I still
see your face in my nightmares

"You're haunting me in my sleep

"Wake up to wet sheets."

Did you write that? That's poetry.

Just give it back, man.

"The streets ain't paved..."
Wait, wait.

"Cold, sleeping alone

"On a sofa of a crackhead

"Cos I ain't got no dough."
GIRL LAUGHS

You writing about me? That's you!

You're the crackhead!

Is that f*cking funny, you tr*mp?

Do I look like a crackhead to you?

You know what, since you're going to
write a song about this,

why don't you sing it now?

Go on. Sing it.

Allow her, bruv. I didn't mean...

What, you f*cking her now or
something? Hey, bro, man, chill out.

See you, you're not good for nothing
but getting on your knees,

you b*tch.

Come on, now, easy, bruv.

What?

Everyone thinks I'm a prick?

They're f*cking chatting
sh*t in my head!

You better go, man.

Saleem, calm down! Calm down, bruv!

Saleem, Saleem!

We're moving and I didn't think you
were coming back.

I text you.

I want to help, I do.

Mum!

But you have to help yourself first.

You have to grow up. Well,
what do you think I'm doing here?

You want more money

and you ain't pulling the flipping
wool over my eyes this time.

LAUGHING: Look at
the f*cking state of it!

I mean, I knew he was weird but
what a f*cking nutter.

He's got proper
mental health issues.

I'm going to need to find
a new dealer.

My song book's in there, my lyrics.

Why don't you just write
on your phone

and then you can back stuff up?

I like writing on paper.

So, what are you going to do now?

Stay with your mum and dad?

What are you, like, an orphan?

There was this little whatever
situation where, basically,

it's so long. The police think I
tried to set my ex's house on fire.

Wild. My mum kicks me out,
she's a b*tch, so, anyway,

I don't have a clue what I'm going
to do next, to be f*cking honest.

So, you've never had your own flat?

Did you f*ck Saleem?

No, obviously not. I'm not judging.

I've done worse. Have you?

I don't know, probably.

I'm a devil, me!

PHONE BUZZES

You think I could stay at yours
for a bit?

Not to do any of that funny sh*t,
though.

So, how are you going to play rent?

I weren't really looking
for a new flatmate.

Paris moved out not too long ago.

It's just to crash for a bit.

I was thinking, like, don't you need
help with your videos and stuff?

I could do your admin.
Be your assistant.

And I'm also bare f*cking funny

and I can make a sick spag bol.

I do love a spag bol.

That's my room there.

And you can stay in this one.

Paris used to rent it.

It's cosy.

Your flat's really nice.

Rent's due at the end of the week.

ORGASMIC PANTING

MAN SPEAKS OVER COMPUTER

Yeah? Yeah.

Yeah, go on.

PANTING INTENSIFIES

Open your legs.

Wider.

I'm a bad girl, Daddy.

Yeah, go on, touch yourself.

Mmm, harder.

Morning!

Did you go back to your room and
have a wank last night?

"Oh, touch me, Daddy!"

No, shut up.

Who was that guy? Nosy.

He's just a guy that paid me £200
for some quality time.

And, what, you do that every night?

It's one of the many things I do,
yeah.

Well, I couldn't do that.

You need to stop being such a prude.

Stop worrying about people's
opinions who don't pay bills.

And if you're going to be working
for me, you need to loosen up.

All right, all right.

What do you want me to do?

I need you to glue all of these.

Why?

Dirty knickers.

Or you could always
wear them for me.

I do girlfriend experience,
so guys pay me to text them,

send funny voicemails.

Some of them pay me
to rate their d*ck pics.

Weirdos, man.

Any time a guy requests a photo
of me in an outfit, you tell me

which one and I'll take the photo.

What's this meant to be?
Fast food worker.

You get to be anyone
you want online.

Girl next door, gamer girl, fin-dom.

Stoner.

# In an expensive f*cking city

# Opinions don't pay my bills...

# I know that me hustling will

# I... #

Why'd you stop? It's not ready.

You know, you've got a lovely voice.

Yeah? Thanks. Ooh!

The car's got suicide doors!

Where you going?

Got a little dinner date.

Ain't you got work to do?

SHE HUMS A MELODY

# Ready to go, ready to blow

# Ready to risk it all

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# Ready to be wrong

# Ready to be right

# Ready to risk it all

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# I will find my way

# Yes, I do my thing

# Got to make sure that I win

# From the hood to Hollywood is all
that I've been dreaming of

# I'll be running sh*t
just like a boss

# I can do this, never going to quit

# I can make it, I'm gonna be rich

# I can do this, I'm that b*tch

# And I ain't gonna lose
cos I'm ready to, ready to

# Ready to go, ready to blow

# Ready to risk it all

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# Ready to be wrong

# Ready to be right

# Ready to risk it all

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# Money's short but my dream's tall

# f*ck morals, yeah, I want it all

# Pretty girl, and I want a call

# Can't you tell?

# Gucci, I deserve it

# Bendy, cos I'm worth it

# Slaying, you know this

# Flowing, yeah, it's showing

# Ooh, get money now

# Ooh, I'm about those cheques

# I can get it now

# Oi, I'm a savage

# Ready to go, ready to blow

# Ready to go, ready to blow

# Ready, let's go

# Yeah, yeah, yeah

# Ready to be wrong

# Ready to be right

# Ready to risk it all. #

Hello.

Hi, Perry.

Are you locked out again?

You want the key for Anton's?

Is your mum in?

DISTANT MUSIC PLAYS

MUSIC GETS CLOSER

MUSIC STOPS

# And I ain't going to lose cos
I'm ready to, ready to... #

That's all I got. Yeah?

Go on, then.

I like it.

What's it about?

Just, like...

..mental sh*t and trying to survive.

Dropping out of uni, my family.

Being ready to be a new person.

I don't know, like,
wanting to be ready to do that.

If I didn't have dark thoughts
about stuff, I'd feel lighter.

OK.

You know you can talk to me.

I'd never judge you.

You're my baby girl.

What is going on?

How dare you take advantage and get
Perry involved in your nonsense?

I didn't, he gave me the key.

So you want Anton to come home
and find you? Then what?

Then I can talk to him.
And explain. Explain what?

You see my garden?
I never done it.

So why is Anton saying you did?

I've known you for a long time,

longer than I've been
Anton's neighbour.

I promised your grandma
I'd keep an eye on you.

Look, don't lie to me, Sasha,
it's not right.

If the police come
and see you here...

You know they took a statement
from me? It's serious. Good.

Then they can find the real person
and everyone can stop blaming me.

Can't have nothing nice around here.

What's Dion going to say
when he gets back home?

I'm sure it's still better
than prison.

I don't even know why they're
letting him out.

Because he served his time.

Tell that to the man he tortured.

I'm not sure what happened here

but you need to stay on the right
path and put yourself first,

even before Anton.

Remember that, men come and go but
you're stuck with yourself forever.

What?

Oi! I need you.

SHE RETCHES

Ugh, I'm dying.

I can't believe people are paying
400 quid for this.

Listen, there is
money to be made in this life.

I've made sure I'll never rely
on anyone ever again.

One...

..two...

SHE SHRIEKS

Thanks for doing that, visionaries!

I won't lie, that made me feel sexy.

That's for Ossie,
who wanted strawberry milk.

Comment with what
you want to see me do next.

Oh, my God.

Ugh, it went in my eyes.

Right.

I'm taking you out tonight,
cheer you up.

I don't need cheering up.

And you just threw up, bruv.

Wash your fanny,
I'm ready to go again.

It's because she was a wolfdog,
yes?

The ones that are dogs but
look like wolves.

And she bit the
housekeeper on the bottom.

It was so round and she just,
oh, up! And nibble, nibble!

Not to hurt her,
but he gave her a scare.

And me, I felt bad for laughing

but I said, Isabel, she is a dog!

Because she IS a dog!

How have you been, petal? I'm OK.

I twisted my ankle dancing so I've
got to pay for all this physio or

I won't make the final performance.

But you couldn't make the last one,
this is a shame.

Do you also do ballet? She does!

We met at ballet camp years ago.

Yeah, I really...love it.

Petals, order what you would like.

How can I help this evening?

Last time I was in here,
I had a Chablis that was...

What are we doing here with
this grandad?

He looks like he's from
f*cking World w*r II.

He's my friend who likes
to pay for things.

Shall we get another bottle?

Don't drink too much,
you don't want to get too giddy.

Don't, Ulrich, do not be rude.

Sorry, petal, sorry.
PHONE BUZZES

Oh, it's Stylianou.

Excuse me!

Have you been to Sweden?

No, but my mum always used to play
Roxette. She likes The Look.

# She's a juvenile scam,
never was a quitter

# Who tasted like a raindrop

# She's got the look. #

HE VOCALISES
GUITAR AND DRUMS

Please, excuse me,
I need the little boys' room.

You all right?

Skol!

Skol!

Skol!

Skol!

You girls would have such fun
at the Slottsskogen.

It sounds unreal, babe, but I've got
to pay for my physio.

Oh...

It's my birthday in a few days.

What do you think is going on here?

Only that...

..maybe me and Carly
can celebrate in Sweden?

Aha!

Oh, well, in that case...

Happy birthday!

Cheers!

Cheers! Cheers!

One, two, three, four,

one, two, three, four,

one, two, three, four!

One, two, three, four!

One, two, three, four,
one, two, three, four,

one, two, three, four,
one, two, three...

Oh, she's left me!

Come, it's your turn! Come!

You don't get away that easily!

One, two, three, four,
one, two, three, four!

Oh, my God!

I'm sorry, Ulrich. I'm fine, I'm OK.

But I think I'm going to
call it a night.

Like he doesn't want this?
Is he f*cking mad?

Stupid f*cking prick.

Let him try and find another girl
who can f*ck better than me.

Are you all right, babe?

I'm not a prude, you know.

Me and Anton used to do
bare freaky sh*t.

Like what?

He used to, like, choke me.

And make me open my mouth
and he'd spit in it. Oh.

Not in, like, a nasty way, he would
just watch stuff and want to do it.

And did you want to do it?

Yeah.

Then he'd get all embarrassed
and weird the next day.

Like, "Girlfriends don't do
that stuff!"

I would have done anything for him.

We were together for ten years.

We grew up together.

He was so funny.

Then he got this new job,
wears a fancy suit,

all of these new friends.

Then I told him something cos...

..he just stopped talking to me.

So, I met Ulrich at this
super-posh event with this

woman called Giuliana.

She books models and girls
for image jobs.

Really elite.

You basically wear
a ballgown at every job she does.

Maybe, if you step it up,

I'll see if I can get you in
with her.

Yeah.

Sick.

I don't know why you don't just
come online with me.

In case you've forgotten,
I'm trying to make it as a singer.

What are you on about?

Sex sells.

Have you heard of Cardi B?

Do you think she cares
what her ex thinks?

It's no different from putting
bikini pics up on your Instagram.

Don't you need some
money for your music?

Just do it for a bit.

Then delete it.

Never happened.

What about...

..Lexi?

I know.

THEY LAUGH

What?

No.

Hi, visionaries! Who's awake?

Where's all my sexy Americans at?

Meet my friend, Lexi Caramel.

Highest tipper gets
a treat in their inbox!

That's quite naughty, DirtyHarry669.

Say hi, Lexi.

Hi, boys.

Be gentle. I told you, Lexi's new.

Hi, Ben.

If we get to £500,

I'll spank this dirty b*tch.

f*ck off.

Play along.

£500 and I'll do it.

Oh!

Right, get on your knees.

No.

Don't you want to see her face?

Look at my mate's a*s.

It's such a round booty.

SHE SLAPS

Make sure you sign up
to Lexi Caramel, boys.

What else do you want to see?