02x05 - The Dinnervention

[bunniefuu]

Nora: Previously
on "moonshine".

Welcome back to another
edition of

"milk crate confessionals".

- ♪ 99 bottles of rum

- Promised crystal I wouldn't
drink and I'm mega wasted.

- End of summer play already?

- I uh, flirted with the idea
of acting. (chuckles)

- When crystal cleans,
your place is crystal clean.

Sammy: That could be
my birth mom.

You're the one who pushed me
to come here to find things

I probably didn't need to.
- Ow! Sammy!

(thudding blow)

- The moonshine owes $350,000
in back taxes?!

- Plus interest and penalties.

- (defeated sigh) ugh!

(big band music)

(vacuum hums)

♪♪♪

(squeegee squeaks)

♪♪♪

(water splatters)

(duster wisps)

♪♪♪

(bottles clinking)

Church lady likes to party.

♪♪♪

(blows out breath)

(alcohol sloshes)

Church lady has trust issues.

(bottles clink)

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

(light blow)

Little christian charity, jc?
(cork squeaks)

No judgment.

(alcohol burbles)

(swallows hard)

(smacks lips)
oh!

(snoring heavily)

♪♪♪

(music crescendos)

- (gasps) ugh!

♪ this is my life,
this is my life, ♪

♪ this is my life,
my life ♪

♪ this is my life,
this is my life, ♪

♪ this is my life,
my life ♪

(insects chirp)

(can taps on counter)
(plastic glove crinkling)

Felicia: Hear that sound?
- Oh!

(sighs) I'll tell you
what I'm not hearing.

You. I'm not hearing you!
- They're locusts.

Biblical beacons of peril
and plague.

Shitshow raineth down!

- Oh, the sh*t has hitteth
the fan.

And after two hours of
scrubbing your filthy trailer,

I realize there's only
one way to clean up this mess.

- Oh, do tell, lady badass.

- Lady badass with a plan.

Gale used the moonshine
to launder his dirty money.

Now I'm gonna use gale.

And after that, who knows?

Maybe I go off on my own.

- Oh. Interesting pivot.

- Do you have a better
solution to pay the tax bill,

Replenish my kids'
college fund,

Uh, finance a rebuild,

And maybe a car that's not
beat to sh*t?

- You're trying to edge
your biker boyfriend

Out of his own game.
- No!

Gale understands.
I'm a businesswoman.

He-he respects my "can do"
autonomy.

- Outlaws only respect loyalty.

- If by loyalty you mean...

Enterprising, seizing
opportunity,

Leaning in, then yes,

I've got loyalty
oozing out of my...

Barely perceptible pores.

- Uh, mom, who are you
talking to?

- (deep inhale) what?

No one. (chuckles)
no, I was just...

Oh, talking out loud to myself.

Sorting things out.

- You were arguing
with someone.

Seemed like heated.
- Yeah, that's a strategy.

I learned from my shrink.
It's a...

Therapeutic tool to process
thoughts and feelings,

And self-actualize.

You guys should try it
for your band!

- Uh, I'm not sure
if we're at the

Self-actualizing point yet.

(text message chimes)
- yeah?

♪♪♪

Mom, are you really okay?

- Better than okay.

I'm actualized.
(giggles)

Okay, I gotta go. Love you!
Mwah!

- Love you.
- Mwah! Excuse me!

(footsteps recede)

(waves lap,
indistinct chatter)

(bag crinkles, bottles clink)

(broom thuds on step)

(golf cart rumbles to a stop)

Fight with ryan?
- How can you tell?

- We uh...

We got in a fight, too.

Fists.
- (gasps)

- Open hand slaps, actually.
- Oh, gosh.

Sammy, I'm so sorry.

- You know, sometimes
a blow to the head

Cleans out the clutter.
You know, makes you...

See things clearly.

- Oh, you're right!

I cleaned, and I saw
what was right,

And for once,

I followed through on it.

I fired ryan.

Like, from my life.
- You broke up with him?

What'd he do this time?

- He was drunk on the job!

Like, curled up in
the fetal position

On an old lady's posturepedic
pillow drunk.

- You know what?
It was the right decision.

I mean, you've been taking care
of ryan for...

A long time.

- And you've been taking care
of like, everyone

For a long time.
- Yeah.

- Oh, my god!

I've been so afraid to move
forward on my own,

That I gave my best years
to my mom,

And my hottest to ryan.

- Well, maybe it's time we
gave the rest to ourselves.

Rhian: What?

Oh, my god! My hostas!

(gasps) look at this!

Oh... It is on, rodent b*tch!

(rock music)

(cord whizzes, motor buzzes)

♪♪♪

(cuts motor)

(weed whacker clatters)

(chirping and squeaking)

(glasses rattle)

(gasps)

(flashlight rattles)

(footsteps approach,
door creaks open)

(oscar muttering)
- what's happening, rhi?

- You're copulating
with a monster.

- What?
- An entire generation of...

Baby bunnies was nearly
orphaned because of me.

I'm no mother. How'm I supposed
to care for a human,

When I'm barely human?
- Babe, we're mammals!

Nurturing is an inherent
instinct.

- Do I nurture you?
Do you feel nurtured?

- To the nth degree!

- Or do you feel whipped
and dominated?

- Well, my mother nurtured me

With the heel of a handcrafted
leather sandal,

So, there's a fine line for me.

- Oh, god.
- But! But...

You will be the absolute
best mom!

It'll come naturally to you.

Just like hunting atv burglars
on the rum-runners trail

Will come naturally to me. Ha!

(backpack clatters)

(footsteps recede)

Nora: Morning, lovers.

Uh, special day here
on "milk crate confessionals".

The milk crate,
like my capacity

To tolerate dudes in khaki
shorts, is empty!

So, it's only fitting
that I tell ya about the ex

Who started it all.

The giver of said milk crate.

The incomparable
milk crate mike.

So... Why did mike and I
break up? Well...

Let's just say that records
weren't the only thing

That required needles.

But without mike, I may not
have wound up at cove fm,

So, he deserves thanks.

Sort of.

Which is why we are gonna give
ol' mike a call!

(line clicks)

Man: Hello?

- Mike? It's nora
finley-cullen.

You're on the air.
- I'm not mike.

- Okay, can you...
Call mike to the phone?

- Mike's gone.
(receiver clicks, dial tone)

- That was anticlimactic
as all hell.

Uh, speaking of...

Here is a word from foxton
funeral home and crematory.

Man: So, planning for a funeral

Isn't exactly a walk
on the beach.

Man: Hello?
- Hi, it's uh, nora again.

You are not on the air.
What's up with mike?

- I told you, he's not here.

Like... Not physically here
on the planet.

B-breathing air.
- Like, mike's dead?

- Missing. He's cooked up
with some big drug outfit

Then started sh**ting when he
was supposed to be selling.

And...

- Yeah, not in the employee
code of conduct, huh?

- Yeah, neither is crossing
the marauders.

sh*t, I didn't say that.
(call ends)

♪♪♪

(headphones rattle)

(footsteps thud slowly)

(locusts chirp)

- Hmm.
(chirping ceases)

(sighs heavily)

Hey, you're back!

- Yeah, had some club business
in new brunswick.

- Huh. Robin.

(fingers tap on counter)

Uh, tried to reach you
but your vm was full.

Admittedly, my doing.

- Heard about your little
road trip.

You know, the one...

Where you broke into my place
of business, stole my money,

Answered my phone,
threatened my supplier.

Nearly got yourself k*lled.

And brought a leblanc
to tag along.

Anything else you didn't
wanna tell me about?

- No. That was...
Pretty spot on.

- And you said there was a cop
stakin' this place out?

- Right.
God, and totally on me.

But only 'cause my sister's
grade-a paranoid.

The cop was terry,
my brother-in-law.

Ex-brother-in-law, I think.

Anyway, I don't think
they found anything.

As far as I know.

- (scoffs)

(bottle clinks)

(footsteps thud slowly)

(bottle clangs on counter)

- I'm actually touched that you
put your a*s on the line

For me, like that.

- Oh. I'm touched
you're touched

By my a*s on the line.

- I got some business to deal
with now, but uh,

You wanna do dinner later?

- I'm actually here to discuss
business.

Your business.

I want in.

I have a huge tax debt to cover

And 10 percent of your deals
isn't gonna cut it.

- Oh.

- I wanna meet more of your
associates,

Learn how the sausage is made,
so to speak.

- That's not actually
how it works.

There are uh, protocols,

Initiations,

Takes years for people
to climb the ladder.

- I'm a fast learner.
(chair clunks)

And don't think I haven't
noticed the lack of...

Female involvement
in your club.

Don't you think it's time
to consider gender equality?

- (scoffs)

Breaking the glass ceiling

Might be just the distraction
that I need.

Full partners on the take?

(chair rattles)

- Really?
- Really. You free right now?

- As a bird. What're we doing?

- Boosting a truck.
- In! (chuckles)

What does "boosting" mean,
exactly?

- First you stop the truck,
then you take the truck

And sell its contents.

- So, "boosting" is crime speak
for theft.

- Um, more like hijacking.

- Wow, I was thinking more like
another round of bingo.

Or curling.
All the rage in these parts.

We could clean a lotta money.
They already use brooms.

- Yes, but you need to make
dirty money

Before you can clean it.
- Right, of course.

(deep inhale) math.

- Still free?
- I mean... Yeah.

Let's... Boost.

♪♪♪

(keys clacking)

♪♪♪

(door creaks open,
shuts slowly)

Ryan: Hey, buddy.

I know you're mad at me.

Man, I'm mad at me!

Look, I messed up!

But that's why I'm here.
To apologize.

To make amends.
I want us to be bros.

- I... I don't have time
for this.

All right? I have my interview
in the morning.

- Grad school!

That's awesome, man!
They're gonna love you!

Uh, hey, I can help you
get ready for it.

I can help you memorize.
- It's not a test, ryan, okay?

There's nothing you can
help me with.

- Why?

- Because you just wanna help
me to help you.

You want me to tell you
that everything's okay,

So that you can feel
like everything's okay,

And it-it it's not!
All right? It's not okay.

For-for me, or for crystal.

And you have to deal with that.

(papers rustle,
computer clunks)

You deal with you.

(footsteps recede,
beads jingle)

Bea: I don't believe ya,
melvin.

If ya love the kraken still,

Why don't ya join it

At the bottom of the cold,
dark sea?

- I was a fool.

A fool.

Blinded by the ocean's
mistress.

But a fool I am, no more.

Doris, my darling,

My love burns for you,

Like syphilis.

- I don't believe you!

- Is something wrong, davide?

- Yeah, dave, what seems
to be the problem now?

- He prefers da-vide.

- Oh, I know what he prefers.

- I need you to stop acting

And start being.

What is going on in there?

How are you accessing
real emotions

Through imaginary
circumstances?

- Um, dave, we're talkin'
about an evil squid, here.

- Haven't you ever experienced
an epic love?

Something all-consuming
and deep?

That's what we need here!

I need to feel your passion
for this woman.

- I've been head over heels
for bea since we were kids.

- Not buying it.
Not your fault...

But to share publicly,
your private life,

Requires a fearlessness.

That's why we actors
are so highly paid.

That's why we are adored
by all.

Move.

Take it from uh,
love the kraken.

(bea clears her throat)
(lights clunk on)

- I don't believe you, melvin.

If you love the kraken still,
why don't ya join it

At the bottom of the cold,
dark, sea?

- I was a fool!

A fool blinded by
the ocean's mistress.

But a fool I am no more!

Doris, my darling.

- Oh!

- My love... Burns for you.

Like syphilis.

I have solved the meaning
of life!

- (chuckles lovingly)
- 'tis you! 'tis me!

Sailing the high seas!
Finding the kraken's child.

Ripping out its innards
together.

And making sweet love
in its viscera,

Right there on the deck.
- Oh, melvin.

How I've longed to hear
you say...

- (shocked gasps)
bea: (mumbles)

Men: Uh oh.
(laughs)

- Get 'er!

♪♪♪

(bea gasps for air)

- That... Is how you stay
in the moment.

Let's run it again.
And again.

Until we feel it in our bones.

- It's in someone's bone.
- (chuckling)

- Find yourself another melvin.

♪♪♪

- (sighs)

(loud drumming,
incoherent singing)

- (guests giggle)
- yeah.

(drumming and singing
continues)

- Whoa! Whoa!

What do you think
that you're doing?

- I'm manifesting meaningful
change.

- No, you're manifesting a
drunk and disorderly charge.

- I hurt sammy.

Crystal.
Everyone.

I have always been hovering
close to rock bottom, sis.

I can see it,
but I've never quite hit it.

And I need to hit it before
meaningful change can happen!

(girl giggles)

- This is my plunge.

(drumming and singing resume)

- You're like a naked babe
in the woods.

♪ oh

♪ oh

- In desperate need of a wolf
mother to rear you.

♪ oh, oh, oh

- This is a desperate cry
for help!

- No! This is a naked
drum solo for help!

♪ oh!

(drumming)

- I hear your cry, brother!

- You do?
- Yes.

And... Oh, my god.

And I am going to help you.

How? I don't know,

But it's going to be kind,

And nurturing, and...

(children giggling)

- Avert your eyes, assholes!

♪♪♪

I'm gonna nurture the sh*t
out of you.

Nora: I gotta give the
switchboards a rest.

Who knew foxton was such
a breeding ground

For true crime enthusiasts?

Anyway, speaking of heinous
crimes,

Here is a randomly selected
b-side.

(buttons click)

(music starts)
(cell phone buzzes)

(thumb taps)
hello?

Andres: Is this nora
finley-cullen?

- Yes.
- So great to connect.

This is andres
from soundmaus la.

- Sound what?

- Listen, we're massive fans
of "milk crate confessionals".

We'd love to bring you down
to la and talk partnership.

We just need...
- my banking info?

Nice try, jerko.
(taps call off, phone thuds)

(scoffs)

- Okay, we need the manifest

To find out which truck
we want when it passes by.

- Oh, I've seen my fair share
of mafia movies,

So I'm well versed.

This is the part where we
convince the dispatcher, right?

(g*n clicks)
(gasps) god, that's not real,

Is it? Is that real?
- Yeah, it's a replica.

The b*ll*ts are real.
- Okay, no, no.

No one said anything
about violence.

- Nothin' to say.
If they play nice.

- Wait, hold on.
Uh, uh...

What if I go in?
- (annoyed sigh)

- Come on, if things go south,

Who's gonna sell, "this isn't
the ladies room," better?

Him or me?
- She's got a point.

♪♪♪

(foliage rustles under foot)

Rhian: The most effective
response to any problem...

Is prevention.

But since you're already
born and raised,

The most caring and nurturing
thing that I can do for you

Is give you an intervention.

- We've tried that.
So many times!

I'm uninterventionable.

- But that's because you needed
the support of all of us,

But attendance was paltry
'cause it wasn't mandatory.

It will be different this time.

Family rituals can serve
as powerful leverage points

To support healthy
behaviour change.

And serve as unique

Intervention delivery
strategies.

Family rituals, ry.

Fa-mi-ly!

This family is going to sit
down and have dinner together.

We are going to have
a ritual dinnervention.

And we're gonna, you know,

Talk about our feelings,

And everyone will be there,
or I will k*ll them...

With my kindness

And carbohydrates.

- We'll all be there.

I can show sammy and crystal
that I put family first.

I can be responsible.
And change.

- Yes.
- And then they can forgive me.

- And I can show everyone
that I'm not just selfless.

I am the empress
of selflessness.

- All hail us!

Let's get cookin', sis!

Let the dinnervention begin.

Terry: It's a fairly quiet
town.

Few summer drunks, lost dogs.
- Dogs.

- The odd domestic.

Then of course, my in-laws.

- Uh, our in-laws, amirite?

- Yeah. Uh, speaking of which,

I need to respond to an
indecent exposure report...

At the moonshine.

- Well, wait, what about me?
- What about you?

- Oh, I thought my first day
on the shadowing job

Would be a bit more,
you know, pizzazz!

- You were an accountant cop,
right?

- Undercover accountant cop.
- Right.

- Maybe you've got something
like that?

You know, deep cover
for a veteran operative.

- Yeah... Answering phones.

Taking messages.

Watering the ficus.

You handle that, and I may...

Have you reconcile
the petty cash receipts.

- (sighs, defeated)
- nah!

That's you.

(footsteps recede)

- And if... If I need
keys to the armoury?

(door slides shut)

(insects buzz, birds chirp)

(door creaks)

(shuts lightly)

(distant chatter)

(paper rustles)

(chair rattles)

(footsteps recede)

(door opens and closes)

(quick, light footsteps)

(papers rustle)

(toilet flushes)

- Oh, my god! The manifest!

(door closes)

♪♪♪

(locust chirps)

- Shoo! Shoo!

♪♪♪

- Ah!
(locust chirping)

(pants ruffle)

- Huh.

(grunting, belt jingles)

(grunting)

(camera clicks)

(door clicks open)
(relieved sigh)

(gasps) okay, it's okay.
I got it.

♪♪♪

- Second thoughts?
- No.

If you're gonna use me,
use me.

We do this my way.
No violence.

- Your way's been working.

So far.

♪♪♪

Oh!

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪ green sweater
the wetter the weather I... ♪

♪♪♪

♪ don't wanna wear
without you ♪

♪ I don't wanna wear you
out there ♪

♪♪♪

(amp squeals)
- oh, come on!

- Where's your mom?
- No clue. Why?

- Her presence is required
at ryan's dinnervention.

Actually, as your presences.

I needed asses in seats.
- What's a dinnervention?

- It's me learning how
to be a loving person

By feeding people and making
sure my brother doesn't...

Sneak vodka into the sauce.
- Hard pass!

- It's us helping your uncle
ry, okay?

- Are you sure this
is for uncle ryan?

- Sounds like you're workin'
an agenda.

- Duh! Does it matter?

Two birds brought down
by one mama bear's stone.

- We're more worried
about mom right now

Than you or uncle ryan.

- Yeah, she's been acting
crazier than usual.

- Okay, so that's great!

k*lling three birds
with one stone

Is better than k*lling
two birds!

- What's with you
and k*lling birds?

- I'm going to help
your mom too, okay?

But that means that you have
to be there! For your mom!

And your uncle!

And absolutely,
100 percent not for me,

Because this isn't about me.

At all.
- Right.

- (sighs)
(footsteps recede)

(waves lap)

♪♪♪

Bea: Have you seen your father?

- Nope, not today.

Everything all right?

- Ah, sure.

Jesus, sammy,

When is anything
ever just all right?

- I'll take that as a no.

- How're you holding up?
- I'm a little stressed.

About my interview and...

I gotta figure out a plan
for my choice of field study.

- You got more brains
in your big toe

Than this whole outfit.
It'll sort itself out.

I actually meant that fight
with ryan.

- Ugh!

It's like, the last thing
on my mind.

My empathy tank is... On empty.

- Okay. I'll offer your regrets
at this "event"

That rhian's organizing.

- I've been at-at all of ryan's
interventions.

It-it didn't make a difference
then,

It won't make a difference now.

- Oh, a little cold!

- Well, maybe that's how
I have to be.

You know if I keep reacting
the same way

And expecting different
outcomes...

That's on me.

- Can't fix somebody else's
bad behaviour,

But you can kick yourself
in the a*s.

- Yeah.
- (sighs)

- Maybe part of surviving
this family

Is knowing when to cut bait.

Maybe you found that
sweet spot. Hmm?

But then again,

Maybe what you're really
upset about...

Isn't ryan.

Hmm?

(waves lap)

♪♪♪

Lidia: An 18-wheeler...
Of snow crabs?

- Yeah, the price per pound
doubled in the last week.

It's actually worth more
than crude oil.

- Oh, well, I'm not
complaining. Delicious.

- Okay, truck is pulling
in soon.

Now you...
- the distraction. That's me!

- You wave the truck down.

- I've already come up
with a back story.

My name's emily,
single by choice.

A little, lazy day road trip.

In search of love, lust,
and apparently snow crab.

(chuckles)
- okay. Less is more.

Just tell him your engine's
busted

And your phone ran outta juice.

He goes over, checks the car,
we step in... Boom.

Got it. Got it!

Ah! Hmm. Okay.

- Okay.
- (readying exhale)

- You got this.
- Yeah.

- Hmm.

Hmm.

(phone buzzes)

(thumb taps)

(phone rings)

- Oh! So good to know
I can rely on you

As my emergency contact.
- What's going on?

Are you okay?
- I'm grand.

Our brother,
on the other hand,

Has some serious issues
to work out,

So dinnervention, 18h00.
Attendance mandatory.

Oh! Bring that salad with
the feta and the strawberries.

- I can't make the salad.
Sorry.

- Then throw some iceberg
and croutons into a bowl.

- I'm kinda tied up
with something.

(hand pounds on knife)
- look, lidz,

I know that you've been through
the wringer lately,

And I-I wanna be here for you.

- Wow, rhian, did your aneurysm
finally pop?

- I simply care
about this family!

Maybe you've forgotten
what that means?

- I do lots for this family.

Like, a dangerous,
above and beyond, amount.

- Then get your a*s home!

- Oh, I'll get there
as soon as I can. I promise.

- Where are you?

(truck rumbles)

Lidia? (gasps)
(dial tone)

She better have lost service.
(phone clatters)

(truck rumbles)
- oh, uh, right here!

Oh, hi!

Stop! Stop, stop!

(airbrakes hiss)

(rumbles to a stop,
door opens, shuts)

Oh, my gosh!
Thank you so much for stopping!

My car broke down
and my phone is dead.

I've been waiting for hours.
- Lift?

- Uh, do you actually mind
taking a look?

This has happened before.

Sometimes you just need
to jiggle something.

- I got tools.
Just pop the hood.

- Oh, b-b-but before
you do that,

Do you know this area well?

Uh, I'm from new york. Well,
I'm technically from brooklyn,

Which if we're being honest,
is more new york

Than manhattan, these days,
amirite?

(lidia's phone rings)
- you said your phone's dead?

- It is.
Do you hear a phone?

- Still ringing.
- Uh...

- You okay, miss?
(thud blows)

- Oh no! Oh, my god!
(crashes to ground)

- My god! Did you have
to hit him so hard?

- Yep.
- Is he bleeding?

Oh, he's so nice.
He called me "miss".

Should we get him some ice?

(Body rasps heavily on gravel)
lidia: Oh!

(truck rumbles away)

♪♪♪

(remorseful exhale)

♪♪♪

(content exhale)

♪ I'm sayin' no
while I'm taking it ♪

- Artisan meatballs, sis.
God's greatest hits.

Where is everyone?
- They'll be here.

You know lidia, her picture's
in the dictionary

Next to "I brought
the fanciest side".

- Maybe we should start.

You know, word of my emotional
awakening will spread

Across the campground
and sammy and crystal

Will be here in time
for cupcakes.

♪♪♪

- I can do this.
- Hey, ken!

- Hey, dad.

Leave it to rhian to make
this a potluck.

What do you bring
to a dinnervention?

- Ah, ketchup chips suit me
just fine.

Not sure about the c*ck
onions.

(nora's phone rings)

♪ to whither away

- What?
Andres: Nora,

It's andres from soundmaus la
again.

I've been trying to get
in contact with you

About your show.
It's fire.

We'd love to be a part
of branding your unique...

- It's a spam call.
Where the hell is lidia?

- Ah, she's probably just late.

However, if she is smart,
avoiding this spectacle.

- Make way, make way.

Please be advised that we
are in a holding pattern

Until the rest
of the guests arrive.

(notepad plops on table)

♪ please forgive me
this insanity ♪

- I can do the silent
treatment baloney too, old man.

But I'm not going to.

Because I'm not a child.

You're overreacting.
It was a scene.

It's... Theatre.
- Apparently, theatre is truth.

And it sure looked real to me.

♪♪♪

- Who's that?
- Our director.

- Your director.
- He looks fun.

- You invited him?

- I mentioned our son's
issues to him.

And he volunteered
to come help the family

Access our emotions.
(smitten chuckle)

♪♪♪

(machine whirs)

(machine beeps)

Maybe we should call someone.
- About?

- Uh, the unsuspecting trucker

We left on the side
of the road?

- He'll be fine.
- He could be concussed.

His brain could be swelling.
He could be dead.

- He's a long-haul trucker.
They gotta call in to dispatch

Every hour, on the hour.
When he doesn't,

They'll just locate the gps
on his truck.

- Yeah, which they'll find
abandoned.

- So, they'll backtrack
his route and find him.

Lidia, it's okay.

I got this.

Now... (claps hands)

How 'bout that dinner?

♪♪♪

Davide: The whole community
is rooting

For your recovery, ryan.
- Took a poll, did'ja?

- Like many artists,
I too have...

Tangoed with addiction.

- Fascinating.
(nora's phone chimes)

(low hum of chatter)

Ryan: Can't keep waiting for
the rest of them, rhian.

Maybe I should make amends
with the family that are here.

- Ryan...
- hey, bruce!

- Hi, bruce.
- Thanks for coming, man.

- Wouldn't missed it.
Proud of you, kid.

And I was told
there'd be meatballs.

- Mm-hmm.
- Right?

(ryan clears his throat)

Once upon a time,
in a galaxy...

Well, this galaxy, actually,

There was a boy.
His name was ryan.

And even though he misspelt
his name with an "I"

Until the third grade,
he could say it perfectly.

Loud and proud.
And I say it now.

"my name is ryan."

Welcome to my dinnervention.

Bea: Nice.

Oscar: Slather,
double letter on the h,

Triple word score.
37 points!

Eat it, rashaad97,
you stupid fu...

(phone rings)

(chair rattles)

You've reached foxton pd.
This is oscar finley-cullen.

How may I be of service?

Hijacking?

Snow crabs?

(stammers)
help is on the way.

(receiver clunks)

Ryan: And on that day,
this day,

Young ryan stopped being
so young.

Not old exactly,
but you know,

38's the new 16, right, sis?
(chuckles)

Planet earth voyaged
around the sun

Until ryan decided
to clean up his act.

And become a man.
- Nice.

(clapping)
okay.

- That was very brave.

We all love you.

I-I'd just like to add...
davide: Bravo. (claps)

What courage.
What candor.

A confessional tour de force.
Revelatory...

- Cram it, prince charles.

Not your place.

- Ah, perhaps it's not
my place.

Or yours.

But it is ryan's place.

Misguided, maladjusted,

Unsupported ryan.

Just a guess.
- You're blaming us?

- Blame is rooted in fear.

Embrace love, ken.

All the answers you need
are right there

In ryan's story.

What do you think, ryan?

What is at the heart
of your addiction?

- That's a toughie, davide.

I like to drink.
Makes me feel better.

But then it makes me
feel worse.

- Yes! Yes, keep going.
This is good.

Dig deeper. Why?

Why does it make you
feel worse?

- Enough of this bull!
- Let him talk.

He's an artist.
Maybe he has some insights.

- Insight? Artist?

The man played a chicken
in a tv commercial in 2001!

- (chuckling)
- oh yeah, I googled ya, pal.

- Dad knows google?

- It was a rooster,
and it was a national campaign.

- Your accent?

You're from oshawa!
Ha, ha, ha!

- I spent some time
treading the boards

In london's west end.

- This is not part
of the healing process.

- Think back, ryan.

Read between the lines
of your story.

What is your subtext?

What trauma did you suffer?

- That trauma is you, pal!

- I wanna know what he writes
in the dirty black book.

- Okay, everyone, enough.

- This is not about
your baggage, okay?!

Or your obviously fake accent.

This is about ryan.

Ryan.

And my deep, maternal,
nourishing well.

- No one's here to judge,
rhian.

Or blame, rhian.

We only seek the truth.

(meatball thumps, splatters)
all: Oh!

(ken laughs)

- That is your truth.

I am here to witness it.

And to play a part
in your shame.

(meatball splatters)
(all gasp)

- Bring it... Mime!

(van rumbles slowly)

(brakes squeak)

(cuts engine)

Crystal: Sammy!

(door creaks open)

Are you ready to go?

'cause you are walking in the
wrong direction from the city.

Ooh, brownies!
(gasps)

You're going to ryan's
dinnervention.

- (emotional exhale)
I know I...

I don't need to drive
in tonight

For an interview tomorrow.
I-I can...

- Can what? Sammy, what?

You're gonna make the same
mistake

That you've made and
that I've made before,

And then, it's somehow
gonna be different?

Like, you know what
that is, right?

- A brother tryin' to do
the right thing?

I dunno, a brother who...

May be upset about something
else entirely.

Crystal, you know,
it's not ryan's fault

That we hit a dead end
looking for my bio mom.

- No. But...

That insanity... Probably is.

♪ la, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la ♪

♪ la, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la ♪

♪ la, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ now that I've lost
everything to you ♪

♪ you say you wanna
start something new ♪

♪ and it's breakin' my heart
you're leavin' ♪

♪ baby, I'm grievin'

♪ but if you wanna leave,
take good care ♪

- Is that the life you want?

♪ I hope you have a lot
of nice things to wear ♪

♪ but then a lot of nice
things turn bad out there ♪

- Come on. We can eat
the brownies on the way.

♪ ooh, baby, baby,
it's a wild world ♪

- Sammy!
Crystal, where you goin'?

♪ it's hard to get by
just upon a smile ♪

There are cupcakes!

♪ oh, baby, baby,
it's a wild world ♪

♪ and I'll always remember
you like a child, girl ♪

(loud cheering, rock music)

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

- Hmm.

Thanks.

- Behold. The club.

- Yeah, they are...

Quite something.
- (chuckles)

You...

You were great today.

Most people woulda run
at the first sign of trouble.

But not you.
Which got me thinkin'.

- Sounds serious.
- Could be.

- You're the first woman
that I've ever been with

That I... I could uh...

See a future with.

Together.

- Together, like...

Together, together?

- Like, I could get a tattoo
of your name, together.

- (nervous chuckle)
- I see a future for us.

In life, in-in love,

In... In business.

- My business.
- Your, your family business.

And mine.

- Whew.

- The marauders
and the moonshine.

A-a mutually beneficial
relationship.

It's the,
it's the perfect place...

To lay down roots.
We'd be, we'd be partners.

In every way.

- Partners.

- I invest...

And the-the club becomes
legal shareholders.

- The moonshine is far
from legal.

I mean... We don't even
have a deed.

- Ha, ha, I got a guy
can make that happen.

Whatever we need to make
the moonshine legit.

What you want.

What you need.

I can give.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

(hinges creak)

(waves lap)

(distant playful shouting)

(waves lap)

Nora: God!
(spoon rasps)

Gross.
(footsteps thud)

You hear from your mom yet?

- No, her phone's dead.

- This just so isn't like her.

- Yeah, she's been
a little loopy lately.

- Define loopy.

- We caught her talking
to herself,

Like full-on conversation.

Like she was talking
to the air.

- Debating the air, really.

Is 40 too young for dementia?
- Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

(hand taps lovingly)

(footsteps recede)

- Can't believe
we're not composting.

What is this, the 80s?
- Okay, I am super worried.

- I appreciate your concern
for me.

- No, dumb sh*t, lidia.
I'm worried about our sister.

- Oh.
- What about your sister?

- She's been boning that biker
and now she's gone awol.

- Huh, I'm actually pretty
worried about her myself.

Did that sound natural?
That felt natural.

- No offence, girls,

But of the three of you,
my money is on blondie...

From new york.
- Brooklyn, actually.

So...

Funny story.

♪♪♪

(van rumbles)

(door clunks closed)

(footsteps crunch)

Lidia: Hi! What're you
doing here? Wait, I mean,

Should a leblanc be cross
pollinating with marauders?

- Unfortunately, bees have
nothing to do with this.

I just got a call from my mom
in prison,

And there is something
that I think you should know.

(indistinct whispers)

Lidia: Okay.

(van door closes,
engine starts)

(van rumbles away)
gale: Who was that?

- Uh...
My-my brother's girlfriend.

Ex-girlfriend.
Hard to keep track.

- There a problem?

- The 18-wheeler we boosted...

Was a leblanc truck.

- That is a problem.
- I know.

I mean, I'm new to the crime
thing, but crystal says

We may have unintentionally
started a turf w*r.

- Look you, just droppin'
"boosted" and "turf w*r"

Like a pro. (chuckles)

- Wait, you knew
it was a leblanc truck?

- The business I had in uh,
new brunswick.

Chapter's looking to expand

And with the leblanc's
matriarch in prison,

Foxton's up for grabs.

- Was that not information
you might have shared with me

Before dragging me into this?

- I didn't drag you
into anything. You volunteered.

(shocked exhale)
- gale... Oh, my god.

I just need to pay
my family's tax bill.

- I know, I know,
this is a lot to process.

- Yeah.

So, what now?

- Well, these things don't
usually end in hugs.

There will be some retaliation.
- (worried exhale)

- But things... Things
will calm down. Eventually.

- sh*t. My family's having
a dinner thing. I'm late.

I gotta go.
- Of course.

Don't worry.

As long as you're in the club,

You will be protected.

♪♪♪

(hollering, party chatter)

♪♪♪

- (sighs heavily)

(footsteps crunch)

(locusts chirping)

- Oh, god!

(chirping intensifies)

Hello?
(leaves rustling)

Who's there?

(gasps)

- (laughs)

(bag rustles)
lidia: Ah!

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪