02x07 - 44.6304N 64.0515W

[bunniefuu]

Rhian: Previously on
"moonshine".

Lidia: Kidnapping me. (gasps)
the moonshine is in trouble!

The hole is deeper
than we thought.

- How deep?
- $350k deep.

- Did you know that your
boyfriend is probably involved

In the disappearance
of milk crate mike?

Nora: Who's that?
- Our director.

Ooh! Ooh!
Ken: Your director.

Nora: Some big media company
offered me a job... In la.

- Ow. I felt a twitch.

I went to pee
and there was blood.

- Ani.
- Hey, ryan.

(water rippling)

Ani: Caretta, caretta,

Aka the loggerhead
sea turtle.

Sexiest beast of the deep,
blue sea.

They're driven by
magnetoreception.

The earth's magnetic field
directs the turtles

To return to their
exact birthplace.

A sense of home encoded
in their very dna.

Some women are lionesses,

Others are cougars.

I am the loggerhead.

I hide in my shell,

Smart, but shy,
(hear beat thumps)

And there's an instinctual
force in me, too.

(keys clack)

But it's not leading me
back to where I was born.

It's leading me back
to the place

That changed my life forever.

(waves lap)

- Wait so...

You're sammy's mom?

And I'm sammy's father?

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

Ani: Yeah, I know.

♪ this is my life,
this is my life ♪

♪ this is my life,
my life ♪

♪ this is my life,
this is my life ♪

♪ this is my life,
my life ♪

(birds chirp)

(seagulls cry)

- I'm sorry, ryan.

I'm sorry for everything.

- I always thought that you
never returned my calls

Because you somehow
figured out

That I'd become a screw-up.
- I never, ever thought that.

- Broke my heart when you
disappeared.

Just wish I'd known sooner.

Like, 22 years sooner.

Things might've been different.

- I never even told my parents.

- You had the baby alone.

- I said I wanted to learn
french,

And then, I transferred
to school in montreal.

I stayed with some friends.

That's where I had him.

I wanted to tell you so much.

But then, I knew you would come
looking for me, and...

Then they would find out.

I was scared of my family.

I was scared of being judged.

- I get that.

I really get that.

- It was hard.

I thought about him
every single day.

(sighs) and then, I saw
that video and...

Something clicked.

I was drawn back here.

Like a turtle.

Caretta, caretta
of family cheloniidae.

- (laughs)

Oh, my god!

He's got your brain!

- He does?
- He does!

You have to meet him.

And everyone. Oh uh...

- Wait, right now, ryan?

- I have been waiting
a long time for this.

And so has sammy.

Now is the only time
that exists.

- Okay.

- We thought that
the leblanc's nabbed you.

- What? No, no.

It was just a girls',
cabin-in-the-woods

Exorcism getaway thing.

Not as relaxing as it sounds.

What are you doing here?
- Oh. (laboured exhale)

Would you um, excuse us?

I need to have a little...

Tête-a-tte with my wife.

- Ex-wife.

(glass clinks)

- Fine. I'm only coming
'cause I really need to pee.

(muttering)
what the...

(door clicks open)

You could've given me
a heads up you were coming.

And what's all this chummy,
kumbaya-by-the-fire sh*t?

- Oh, I'm so sorry.
(door slams)

Did you find it upsetting
to see your husband

Hanging out with your new biker
boyfriend?

Do you know what else
is pretty upsetting?

Discovering that the mother
of your children

Has hijacked a truckload
of snow crabs,

And is involved in the middle
of a turf w*r,

And you could pee without
the water running?

I don't even know
who you are anymore.

- Can you hand me
some toilet paper?

Top of the fridge
by the tub of jerky.

- You know, el and finn
begged me to come, and...

And I could now see why.

(door clicks open)
you have lost your mind.

- They think I've lost my mind?
- You're dating a felon!

And did you meet his
little sidekick?

Well, that man is a wall
of aggression.

They held me here, hostage,
against my will.

- What I saw there didn't look
like it was against your will.

- Eventually I decided to stay
because gale...

He's really cool. But that
doesn't change the fact

That he's a menace to society.

- You have no right to judge
me, mr. Bang-the-intern.

- Oh, come on, at least marcie
is not a criminal.

- Just go, please.

Tell the kids I'm okay.
Wake them up.

I'll be over soon.
Go, go, go.

Thank you.

Uh, sorry,
I-I need to shower.

Alone. Huh.

But I do need to talk to you.

- Okay?

- Meet me at the diner at 1:00.

(door creaks shut)

♪♪♪

(cell phone buzzes)

Nora: Wow.

(clears throat)
reason for visit?

- Uh, the thing
in my uterus died,

Along with my hopes and dreams.

- I'll just circle a.

We don't know that for sure,
about the thing.

- You're right.
It's probably nothing.

Let's go get an egg sammy.

- You need to get your vagine
checked and face reality.

Ignoring it is not gonna
make it any less real.

- Since when are you the expert
on facing reality,

Miss moving-to-la
and-not-telling-terry?

- I'm sorry, I was a little
busy in the woods

Dealing with lidia's
perimenopausal psychosis.

- Terry supports your dreams.

Way more than he ever
supported mine,

Which is annoying.

Why are you so afraid
to tell him?

- Because the furthest I have
ever been from foxton is truro.

What if I hate la?

All those entitled
showbiz vegans.

What if people don't like
my stuff?

And telling people,
telling terry,

I just, I... It's... I...

- Ignoring it isn't gonna
make it any less real.

Match point, me.

- Can you for one second
be cool?

- (breathing quickly)
oh, god.

I came as fast as your
lawnmower would take me.

I will be right by your side,
no matter what.

They would have to
horse-tranq me to stop me.

- You rode my lawnmower
without my permission?

Nurse: Rhian finley-cullen?

- Come on.

♪♪♪

Davide: (sighs) quick, my love!

Take up my harpoon and
complete our adventure!

- Over the years,

I have envied my husband's
adventures.

(deep breath)

(questioning sigh)

This feels silly.

- What does, my dear?
- The words.

I'm supposed to make...
- the audience remember

That child-like wonder
still exists.

- I-I don't know
if I know how to do that.

- Trust me.

You have the gravitas
of a woman who's lived.

Silver strands.

Laugh lines.
Strong hands.

- Man, I don't know
how you do it.

- Do what?

- Watch bobby broadway
jazz-hands your woman.

- Apparently it's all just
theatre.

- Would the tentacles
kindly remember

They do not have mouths!

- I'd like to stick that
harpoon up his a*s.

- (scoffs) hmm.

- Let's take it from the kiss.

- Uh, um... The kiss.

I wanted to talk to you
about that.

- Some notes are always
worth exploring.

- The other day,

Was it a kiss-kiss?

Because it felt like it was.

- Hmm. What if it was?

What do your instincts
tell you, bea?

♪♪♪

(playful laughter,
waves lapping)

- I'm sorry if I've been
a little...

- Batshit?
- Mia?

- We got anymore lox?
- But seriously,

Should we get your shrink
on zoom?

- (scoffs) god.

(footsteps thud)

(papers rattle,
drawers clunking)

I put it where
I'd know to look.

- Hey, dad.
How's the play goin'?

- Oh, ask your mother.

Or, should I say, doris.

- It's going well, dear.
- Ah, ha!

There she is. In the freezer.
(door clunks)

For the ceremonial uncorking
of the moonshine on labour day.

Or getting rid of davide.

- Oh, yes. The moonshine party
with actual moonshine.

- Wow, if that thing slips,

You're gonna need
a tetanus shot.

Do you have something that's
a little less dated?

- Why is everyone so consumed
with replacing old things?

- Ken, we may not like daniel,

But if you're gonna be rude...
(chuckles)

Ken: Sammy! Are we booking
that flight to England?

- Doubt it.
Interview was a mess.

- I find that hard to believe.

- Well, I've never volunteered

With the indigenous people
of guyana.

So, as far as the nepotism
channel goes...

No offence, mom and dad.

- Tell 'em about my moonshine.
Tell 'em I'm a...

Chemical engineer.
(all scoff and laugh)

- Listen, I get that gale has

This undeniable magnetism,
and those eyes,

So stormy blue with just
a hint of green-grey,

But you're gonna have to nip
this whole midlife crisis

In the bud. Pronto.

Mainly because we can't
afford bail.

- Okay, so you got to stop
weighing in on my choices

When our marriage ended.

But in this case,
I agree with you.

By sundown, my outlaw
biker fling

Will be nothing but a memory.

Memory I will think of often
in... More private times.

- Okay. Well, I hope
your breakup skills

Have improved since
you dumped me.

Publicly. Loudly.

Under a pirate chuppah.

- I hope so, too.

And I'm sorry.
- Nah, I deserved it.

Just do me a favour,
let gale down gently

Because losing you...

Really sucks.

And he's got a g*n.

(slurps coffee)

- Ryan, maybe you should give
yourself some time to process.

I've had 22 years.

You've had 22 minutes.

- No, this isn't about me.

Sammy's been looking for you.

Wondering about you
his whole life.

He thought you were dead!
This is a good thing.

- I just think we need
to be gentle here.

- Nobody knows this family
better than me.

And would you rather just
rando run into sammy?

Then what?
- Just wait!

Ryan, wait, just, just...

Oh, I don't think we
should do this right now.

(door clicks closed)

- (nervous exhale)

Sammy.

Uh, look at you.

Oh, my god.

- What's... What's going on?

- Sammy, everyone,

I'd like to introduce
you to someone...

Special to me.

An old friend of mine,

Ani.

She worked one summer at
the fish and chips shack,

And we kinda fell in love.

We had our first boning
session on the beach...

- Ryan, I don't think...
- ani...

Everyone, drumroll, please!

Seriously, you're gonna
want a drumroll.

- What's happening here?

- Sammy,
- no.

- ...We found her.

Ani is your bio mom.

And we've got somethin' else
to tell you.

- Spit it out, son.
- It's me!

I'm sammy's bio dad!

And I've been here,
all along!

- h*-ly sh*t.

- So, that means, lidia,
nora, rhian,

They're all your aunts.

Dad's your grandpa,
mom's your grandma,

Eleanor and finn are your...
- hi. Um...

This isn't exactly the way I
wanted to have this go down,

But I am so glad to meet you.

(waves lap in distance)

(distant playful chatter
and laughter)

(footsteps thud)

Bea: Sammy!

(door clunks open)

- Get ready for your minds
to be blown, people.

I am having twins!

Woo!

Twins! Ha, ha!

Two babies.

♪♪♪

(light knock,
door creaks open)

- Can we talk?

- Oh, honey.

We love you so...
- no, mom, don't.

Just don't, okay.

We all know how this is
gonna go, so,

Why don't I just...

(sighs) save everyone
the trouble.

- Okay.

How's it gonna go?

- You usually walk in here

And you say comforting things

To duct-tape over the problem.

And then,
if that doesn't work,

I talk to lidia.

If lidia's not busy
stealing trucks.

And if she is busy
stealing trucks,

I'm sure rhian
will threaten ryan

Until he apologizes

For the absolute grenade
that he just dropped.

And then, sh*t really goes
south, and then, from there,

I go to nora, who will
only make me see

That the absurdity
of the situation is just...

Is just something that
just can't be fixed.

- You're good.

- Very good.

- Oh, god.

- We're gonna leave you alone.

We just wanted to see
if you needed us.

- Yeah, I do, I have um,

I have one question.

How is it possible

That nobody noticed a black,
teenage girl

Working here for an entire
summer,

And-and ryan,
who had sex with everybody,

Found me, I don't know,
what, nine months later?

- Hun, we had...

Hundreds of part-time employees
over the years.

- Oh, please.

- We may not have been
as attentive

As-as we could've been.

I know that, and it's not an
excuse.

- Yeah. We are so sorry.

We can only imagine
how you feel.

- No! You can't!

Because the brother that
I've been taking care of

Since I could talk,

Is, is my biological father!

And... Her!

She knew where I was
the entire time.

And she just like,
never came looking?

I changed my mind.
I changed my mind.

I wish I never found her.

Just, just tell her to go.

Just tell her to go!

- Congratulations.

(footsteps recede)

(door clicks open, shuts)

- Was that...

- Yep.

(waves lap)

(bottle clangs,
alcohol burbles)

Kid had a point.
(accepting sigh)

How did we miss putting those
puzzle pieces together?

- We looked for that girl.

We tried.

- Not hard enough, I guess.

Maybe it was selfish.

You know, some part of us
not wanting

Sammy's real mother
to be found.

- It wasn't selfish.

We had five kids
and this place.

We were overwhelmed.

So... It takes a massive
family crisis

For us to get talking again.

- I've been around.

You've been busy.
- Yes.

Davide and I are trying
to put on a show.

- I'd like to put his teeny,
tiny face in a bench vice.

- He's not the problem here.

- Things were just dandy
before he showed up.

- No, it wasn't.
You've half-assed everything

I've wanted to do
since retiring.

- Seems the only thing
you want to do, is davide.

- Is it so wrong,

For me to want to have a man
look at me again,

And not fall asleep?
- I look at you all the time.

I'm lookin' at you right now.

- You might look at me,
but you don't see me, ken.

- I'm playin' a g*dd*mn
tentacle, for god's sake.

I don't know what more
you want from me.

- Forget it.

(footsteps crunch away)

- (frustrated sigh)

(trunk slams)

Ryan: Ani! Ani! Ani! Ani! Ani!
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!

- That could not
have gone any worse.

- When I rehearsed it
in my head, it was a beautiful,

Poignant reunion, I swear.

(door shuts)

Let me fix this.
Please?

- It's not all on you.

I agreed, so it's on me.

I didn't know the right thing
to do then,

And I sure don't now.
- We can make this better.

- No, you guys have
some things to work out.

And sammy clearly wants
nothing to do with me, so,

I should just go.
- You can't leave.

Promise rock decrees it.
- Excuse me?

- Remember the rocks
we painted that summer?

- I don't know what
you're talkin' about.

- We swore that if one of us
ever needed anything,

Really bad,

All one person had to do
was present that rock,

And then, the other person
had to do it.

One time only.
No questions asked.

This rock says "kelsey".

- Ha, ha!

In the spirit
of the promise rock,

Give me one hour.

Please, just meet me for a
paddle boat like we used to.

- That wasn't me either, ryan.

(sighs)
okay, that was me.

- Ha, ha.

- Fine. One hour.
- That's all I need.

At the marina. Okay?

(cars whoosh by)

- The last few weeks
have been amazing

But I-I just feel like
I need some space.

(door closes)

Like, a lot of space.

I-I feel like I need
to focus on myself.

- Honey, just rip off
the bandage.

(coffee burbles)
- hmm.

(gentle tap on glass)
- (nervous) oh, hi.

(bell jingles)

(lidia giggles nervously)
hey.

(leather crinkles)

- Hi.

Alison. I'm starvin'.
What's good here?

- Everything.

- All right,
I'll have the burger,

Side salad instead of fries

And a iced tea,

Unsweetened. Please.

So, (clears throat)
- oh?

- About this morning.
- Hmm. Right, yeah.

Just a lot of family stuff.

Turns out my brother
is actually my nephew.

And... It's a very long story.

Uh.

About you coming to my parents'
play tonight,

- Uh, is that what
this is about?

You're nervous about
the first official

Family event?

- Hmm, what I'm about to say
is-is actually a big deal.

- Okay, I-I've been meaning

To have a big deal chat
with you, too.

- You have?

- This, us, you and me.
I mean, it's a lot,

And it's been happening...

So fast, and after meeting
daniel I-I just wonder,

You know, if you need
to take a beat?

And...

You know, (sighs)

Finish your unfinished
business.

- Wait, are you breaking up
with me?

- Think you should
take some time

And some space.

Focus on yourself.

- On myself.

Okay.

Whoa, that's...

I've never had a man care about
my emotional space before.

It's refreshing.

I mean, most guys
would just ghost you

Once they don't wanna
be with you anymore.

(door bell jingles)

- I didn't say I didn't
wanna be with you.

- Oh.

- Uh...

I'm just trying to do
what's right for you.

(rock music plays,
door thumping)

♪♪♪

Lidia: Oh, gale! Oh!

(motorcycle revs away)

♪♪♪

(receipt crinkles)
- glad you came...

To your senses.

- Hmm.

(police siren wails)

- Did you dump his biker a*s,
or what?

- Uh, well,

I mean, we had a conversation
and decided to...

- Why are you flushed?
- Hmm?

- Is that a hickey?
Jesus.

In that filthy diner bathroom?
Who are you, me?

- What're you even doing here?
- Oh, nothing.

Just saving your life.

That bathroom bang could've
been your last. Ever.

Because you got m*rder*d.
Tell her, ter.

- So, nora got a tip.
He called into the show.

- Gale's a m*rder*r!

Oh, and gale is not
his real name.

Though unclear why anyone would
choose "gale" as an alias.

- What? No, no.
- Mm-hmm.

- I mean, I-I know he's a
criminal, but he's-he's...

- Gale k*lled milk crate mike.

My druggie ex?

Yeah, they found mike's body.

Well, technically, parts
of his body, his ankle,

And a few teeth.
Show her, ter!

That warehouse is the crime
scene of the m*rder.

And gale, not his real name's
fingerprints are all over it.

- Where'd you get this?
- I've got buddy...

- Colleague in fredericton.
They've got ballistics,

Photos, and all of it points
to blue eyes.

A lesser person would gloat.

Say "I told you so."
- okay,

If you have evidence,
then why is he roaming free?

And being so-so sensitive,

And saying just
the perfect things?

And having exceptional day sex

In unacceptable bathrooms
with unsuspecting women?

- Ha! So you did bang
in the bathroom.

- Okay, they're building
a federal case

Against the marauders.

If I arrest him now,
it tips them off,

And blows the whole
investigation.

- Okay. Great.

So, what am I supposed
to do here?

- Loyalty is very important
to outlaw bikers.

They feel betrayed,
they lash out. Right?

Until we arrest the leadership,
which could be weeks,

Or even months,
best play is just...

Keep things status quo.

- So, I'm supposed to just um,

Keep boning a really
inappropriate,

Maybe m*rder*r,

For the indefinite future.

- I rest my case.

You are me.

♪♪♪

(waves lap gently,
seagulls cry)

- (sighs)

(footsteps tap on boards)

Sammy: Hey!

- Sammy. Ryan set us up.

- (sighs)

Yeah, he's uh,
full of surprises this week.

(reads) "paddle your into each
others livers. Love ryan"

"aka big papi."

Save you seats at the play.

- If you wanna just walk away,
I understand.

You don't owe me anything.
- No, I know, I just...

I've been doing a lot
of thinking,

And I still have no idea
how to handle this,

Or if I even...

Want to handle this?

I'm uh...

I'm-I'm lost.

- I'm lost, too.

♪♪♪

(paddles whomping in water)

- I've always loved this view.

- Me too.
- (chuckles)

- (nervous chuckle)

- So, you interviewed
for oxford?

- Yeah!
- I love london.

- Oh yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

- That's really cool.
I've-I've, um,

I've never been outside canada.
- Oh.

So, is there anything
you wanna ask me?

Anything at all?

- Uh, ryan says you're uh,
a professor in new york.

Uh, what's your focus?

- Archaeology.
- Oh, cool!

- What's yours?
- Uh, anthropology, as well.

- Oh!
- But um, ethnology.

- Cool.
- Yeah.

It's um...

Okay, this isn't
going anywhere.

- Yeah, I know.
It's awkward.

I'm sorry, I just, I really
wanna make this work.

- No, no, I mean like,
the boat, we're not...

- Oh!

- We're not moving.

Paddle must be broken again.

- Then how do we get home?

- Oh, with the uh,
battery motor that we...

Keep in here.

Okay, um, ryan has removed it.

But...

Burritos and root beer?

- Carnitas forever.

(both chuckle)
(bottles clink)

- Might as well eat
while we wait for someone

To come find us.
- Yeah.

♪♪♪

(Rickets chirp,
thunder rolls gently)

(jazz music in distance)

(pacing footsteps tap)

Gale: Hey.
- (gasps) oh, god. Ha.

- You okay?
- Yeah, right as rain.

Or an ominous squall,

As the case may be.
(giggles)

Good thing my big,
strong man

Is here to keep me safe.
(giggles)

- After you.

(thunder rolls)

(low hum of chatter,
jazz music continues)

♪♪♪

- Hey.

- Wow, you're super
affectionate tonight.

- Pda lidia. That's me!
(giggles)

Hands off, ladies.
He's mine! (giggles)

Davide: Good evening,
the foxton thespian society

Welcomes you. Please,
silence all your devices

Because electronics
cannot save you from...

"the call of the kraken!"

(clapping)
woman: Woo-hoo!

(lights clunk)
come ye all,

Draw close and near.

To hear a tale of woe and fear.

While the waves crash

At a furious whip.

Watch as our stage
becomes the doomed ship.

(ominous music,
floorboards creak)

(brooms swishing)

♪♪♪

There be a storm
on the horizon.

Raise the sails and pray
to your salty gods,

That we can outrun
this foul deluge.

(ship's wheel rumbles)

(thunder sheet twangs)

The storm is almost upon us.

♪♪♪

- Have you seen ani
and sammy yet?

- No, but I gotta say,

This play's really doin'
it for me.

- Shhh!
- You shh!

- They should've returned
from their paddle voyage

Of reunification by now.

- Ry, sometimes you just need
to take a night off

From the never-ending
shitfinity that is this family.

- Shhh!

- Shush me again, oink,

And I will make it so
that your ears wind up

Where the sun don't shine

And the short and curlies
do cause choking.

Speaking of which,
tell terry yet?

- Shh.
- Ha!

- Nora!
- Yeah?

- I'm diggin' your show.
- Shh!

(all shushing)

(davide continues performing)

- It be upon us!
The storm!

(thunder crashes)

(heavy rain patters)

(ominous music)

(pulleys clanging)

Davide: This be
no normal storm!

This be the dark magic

Of the kraken's tempest!

(thunder cracks)

Ani: Where are we?!

I can't see the shore!

Davide: Pull!

If you want your lungs
free from a briny death!

You... Must... Pull!

(ominous music)

- I'm gonna try to swim us
back to shore!

- Be careful, sammy!

(thunder cracks,
water splashes)

Finn: Ah! Ah!

- Man overboard! Help him!

Ani: Sammy! Hold on!

(water bubbling)
ani: (muffled) hold on!

(water bubbles)
(panting heavily)

Finn: It be davey jones'
locker for me.

Ani: Sammy!

- (mumbling)

(gasps for air)

- Ah! Ah! Help!

Eleanor: Cut and run!

It be too late for hamish,
captain!

The kraken will have us all.

Davide: I'd like to see
that foul beast try!

Ani: Sammy!

- The current is too strong!

Finn: I'm drowning! Ah!

(thunder cracks)

Ani: Hold on, sammy!
I'm coming in to help!

(thunder cracks)

Finn: Ah!
- Oh, finn!

- Ah!

(water splashes violently)
ani: Sammy! Sammy!

Finn: Ah! Ah! Ah!

(ominous music)

- Hamish is dead.

- Goodbye, hamish.

(rain patters, thunder cracks)

Ani: Sammy!

(clapping)
- tempo!

Bea: That was magnificent.

- Prick thinks he owns
this stage.

- Quit whining, man.

It's time you reminded them
who built the damn stage.

- Hammered every g*dd*mn nail.

Eleanor: It be many years
later, says I.

♪♪♪

(audience claps and cheers)

♪♪♪

Bea: But you k*lled
the kraken years ago.

Have you gone into a madness?

- I be more sane than any man
who's ever lived.

And I say the kraken's
had a child.

And it wants us dead!

Bea: Then we will k*ll it!

Together.

(light blow)

(audience claps)
rhian: Woo! That was great.

- That was good.
- That was really good.

(thunder claps)

Davide: There will now be
a 15-minute intermission.

(ominous music)

(rain patters, thunder claps)

- This play is
really somethin'.

- Hmm. You're really
something. (giggles)

Mm.
(lips smack)

- I'll be back in a minute.
- Okay. Don't be long.

Miss you!

(low hum of chatter)

- What was that back there?
- What?

I'm just doing what terry
told me to,

Keeping it status quo.

- Status quo is giving hand
jobs during the first act.

You are overdoing it!
- I know!

I'm a terrible liar.

Male egos are fragile

And dangerous enough
with normal dudes.

This guy knows our secrets,
and is a m*rder*r.

- I know!
- And terry was no help.

I can't believe the cops
can't protect me.

- Well, what were you
expecting? A new identity?

Relocation services?

Foxton pd barely has a coffee
machine that works.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Maybe I-I have to go
the opposite way.

To the dark side.
- Okay.

Someone who knows how to beat
gale at his own game.

(sly inhale)

Jill leblanc.
Is that crazy?

- The jill who you
stabbed in the back

And put behind bars? Yes!

(scoffs)
is this light beer?

I need to drink away
this terrible performance,

And I mean you and gale.

Play's pretty good.
I guess.

(thunder claps in distance)

- Ugh! Ew!

(ominous music)

♪♪♪

(water rushes)

- Oh, hey.

Didn't peg you for being
much of a theatre guy.

- I played mr. Mistoffelees
in grade school.

- (laughs) yeah, right.

Are you joking?

Because I can't tell.

Anyway, I'm uh,
I'm surprised to see you.

It's uh...

It was very big of you
to come.

I guess lidia took my advice

And was more gentle
breaking up with you

Than she was with me
because the ice cream scoop

That she used to dig out
my heart

Was pretty dull, my friend.

(sighs) gettin' dumped,
it's never easy.

(water rushes)

But you'll get over her.

Eventually.
Time heals all wounds.

- Depends on the wound.
- Yeah.

Well, enjoy the rest of
the show.

My son tells me that my
soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law

Will be fighting a calamari.

(footsteps recede)

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

(footsteps thud)
- boss, we gotta talk.

♪♪♪

(Aps)

Ryan: Wah! Wah! Sammy!

♪♪♪

Sammy!!

Sammy!!

(oars creaking)

Davide: This final blow
be for mccuddy.

And bill.
And little reggie.

And hamish.

And all the rest of my men
who are on the bottom,

You vile... (grunts)

(audience chuckles)

- Quick, my love,
take up my harpoon,

And complete our adventure.

(groaning and grunting)

- Over the years,

I have envied my husband's
adventures.

I have despaired
his obsessions.

I...

...Find myself...

Asking...

Davide: Asking was it worth it?

Was it worth it?

♪♪♪

(waves fluttering)

(boat rasps on boards)

Davide: What's happening?
(bea gasps)

(light thuds on)
david: What's happening?

- (gasps) a spotlight?
Davide: That's not the cue.

- For me?

(audience chuckling)

- Doris, my love,
come kiss me

And let us stab the kraken's
eyeball,

As one!

- No.

No, I've changed my mind.

- Doris, I think you
mean to say,

"yes, and...
We'll keep searchin'!"

- No, I don't need
to keep searching.

And I certainly don't need
to harpoon the kraken.

(audience laughs)

Because I am in love

With one of its tentacles,
damn it!

(audience laughs and oohs)

(oohing and ahhing)

(boisterous cheering)

(clapping)

(cat calls)
- woooo!

Finn: Way to go, grandma!
- You kiss that tentacle!

(boisterous cheering)

Davide: This is not
in my script!

(cheering continues)

Davide: Cut the lights.

Cut the lights!

- Best play ever.

- Oh, we should've done
community theatre years ago.

- Stay in character.

My harpoon is locked
and loaded.

(bea chuckles)

(thunder claps, rain patters)
- sammy!

Sammy: (faintly) ryan.

- Hello? Hello? I need help.
Sammy: Ryan!

- Sammy!

Sammy! Ah!

- Ryan, hey. It's okay.
- Oh!

- It's okay.
- Oh, I thought I lost you.

- It's okay. We're fine.

- I thought I lost you.

- We're wet and cold
but we're fine!

- I suck at fixing
paddle boats.

- Ha, yeah!

♪♪♪

(rain patter heavily)

- Come on, sammy.

Come on.

♪♪♪

(flames crackle)

♪♪♪

- Marshmallow, bro?
- Hmm.

Thanks.

- Can I still
call you "bro"?

"son" seems weird.

- It's weird. (chuckles)

Stick with bro?

I'm gonna see if I can
track down some chocolate.

(footsteps recede)

(ani sighs)

- You still sure there's
nothing you wanna ask me?

- Actually, uh, yeah.

There is, and...

It's a hard question.

But...

I have to know.

When you left me here,
- (emotional sigh)

Sammy, uh,

My father was a pastor

And my mom was a jesus freak.

If they would've found out
that I was pregnant,

They would've either put you
in the system,

Or worse.

Done the classic passing
you off as their own trick.

I didn't grow up
in a happy home.

It was cold and...

Strict.

No one said, "I love you."

I was scared.

And alone.

(teary inhale)

I couldn't do that
to another child.

I couldn't do that to my child.

The greatest gift
I could give you was...

Letting you grow up
at the moonshine.

With this family.

Your family.

Doesn't mean I don't regret it

Because if I could
change it now...

(catches breath)

(clicks tongue)

Anyway, um,

Does that answer your question?

- You know,

I was actually gonna ask,

(chuckles)

Where the hell did you think
I was gonna get my hair done?

- (laughs)
oh wait, you mean to tell me

They don't have black
hairdressers in foxton?

- (laughs)
- right. (laughs)

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

(nora's phone buzzes
then rings)

- Oh no.

Terry: How was the play?

- Uh, it was spectacular.

- (deep inhale)

I have something
that might top it.

Come on.

(car rumbles)

(brakes squeak)

(window whirs open)

- What're we doing here?

Is this where the marauders
bury the bodies?

- Oh, I hope not.
- Heh.

- Because that would really
k*ll the property value,

And I...

Just forked out a down payment.

- On what?

- The house.

- You're moving?

- (chuckles) no.

We're moving!

(chuckles) I mean,
I hope we are.

Okay, look,
it-it's a 3-bedroom,

I'm not gonna be in your hair
and uh,

There's a, there's
a garage around back

That I was thinking we could

Convert into a studio,

If you wanted to work remotely.

We can finally
have our own place.

A home.

- Terry.

I...

I am actually gonna be
working remotely.

- Great.
Good, good, good.

I'll get going on
that garage right away.

I'll put up some
soundproofing. Uh...

- No, terry.

Um...

I am leaving foxton.

I got a gig...

In la.

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

(rain patters)

(rock music)

♪♪♪

- Did you know
that baby corn

Is legit a baby corn, but baby
carrots are just adult carrots

Cut into baby shape.
- Have you seen gale?

- Yeah, yeah, I saw him in
the men's room in intermission.

Looked like he was
taking it pretty well.

- Taking what pretty well?

- The break-up.

I asked him how he's doin'
and seemed okay.

They don't even try
baby cauliflower,

Which seems like a perfectly
wasted opportunity.

(motorcycles rumble loudly)

(rumbling intensifies)

(engines rev)

Woman: What's happening?!

(engines rev)

- Hey, hun.

I was worried.

- Yeah, you should be.

- 'cause there's not enough
drink tickets for your pals?

- I was just showing the boys
here their new home.

Man: Yeah!

♪♪♪

Woman: Yeah!

(engines roar and rev)

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪

♪♪♪