(MUFFLED GULPS)
You d*ck.
You absolute d*ck.
What did you say?
Did you tell 'em?
- Hey, Kev.
- Barry!
(PEDESTRIAN CROSSING BEEPING)
(HORNS HONKING,
DISTANT SIREN WAILS)
Morning.
- Morning.
- Mr Murray.
(BELL WARBLES)
(SECURITY BUZZER)
You not offering me any, Jim?
You don't want sausage juice
all down your expensive suit,
Mr Murray.
Expensive?
- Dunnes boutique!
- (JIM LAUGHS)
But here, seriously.
The word on the grapevine is
that the Aussies want to know...
WOMAN: Morning, Mr Murray.
The Aussies want to know
who's getting the chop-chop.
- Where'd you hear that?
- Jungle drums. Staff bogs.
I'm fairly sure as manager here
I'd be the first to hear that.
So, it's not true?
How's Billy, Mags?
Back crooning the bars yet?
(QUIETLY) Yeah.
Non-stop crooning(!)
(WHISPERS) as*h*le.
(HUM OF CONVERSATIONS,
FOOTSTEPS)
(TINKLE OF CHRISTMAS MUSIC)
- How are you doing today?
- How are you doing?
(NEARBY CONVERSATION)
(LIVELY CONVERSATION)
f*ck off...!
Barry? A word, please.
BARRY: Hang on a sec.
- The manager.
- Barry!
- Over here, please.
- See you in a sec.
What is it with you? Why'd you
have to keep doing this?
Doing what?
He's a mate. I'm being friendly,
Richard, the Northern Bank way.
You're in a position
of responsibility.
There you are,
swinging your vault keys about
like you're Jack-the-lad.
Anyone could distract you
and snatch those keys.
Wise up, for f*ck's sake!
You do know it's your attitude
and your gob
that keeps you in the vault?
- Suits me just fine.
- Well, that's good to know.
On your way.
OK, goodbye.
(PHONES RINGING,
QUIET HUM OF CONVERSATION)
Everyone, I need your attention.
I've got a serious announcement.
- Secret Santa, folks.
- (LAUGHTER, CHEERS)
Everyone, gather round!
- Fair play.
- What have we got?
- BARRY: Ooh!
- Hurry up, I need to get back.
Well, we'll get Ebeneezer done
first. There you are, Margaret.
- Open it up, your lordship.
- Yeah, laters.
Fair enough. Next up, we have...
..bossman himself, starting
with the top, Richard Murray.
- (JEERS)
- Not here? Sorry, no pressie.
You know the rules, folks.
Can't be arsed to show up,
you don't get a present.
- What?
- Don't ask. A bit of history.
To the newest member of the
team, Paul, you've worked hard.
- Cheers.
- You have not! Wise up!
(# JINGLE BELLS)
BARRY: Help yourself to the rest
of those pressies. I'm away.
(COLLEAGUES CHEER)
Someone left me a note to say
Susan's requested
a change of shift...
"Someone"?
Sorry, it's just you left them
with me...
Fine. Just let Barry know
he has to swap.
Is that all?
Yeah.
- All good?
- Who had me in Secret Santa?
- That'll be a secret, Mags.
- Not in the mood, Barry. Who?
Er...
That was Murray. Why?
That man has vanished
up his own arse. (SHE SIGHS)
Here,
you and your mammy have that.
Oh, Mags,
just what the doctor ordered?
A bit of fine dining for the man
who can't leave the house.
- I saw it just now.
- Your pinky's finally grown?
I was in Murray's office
getting something signed.
A folder on his desk
said "Confidential:
Belfast staff cuts".
f*ck off, it did not!
Nice one.
(DISTANT SIREN WAILING)
MURRAY: First thing Monday
for the final redundancies?
Are you serious, Tracey?
Tell him I need more time.
It's Christmas, for God's sake.
They'll be expecting bonuses,
not P45s.
I know, but it's easy for him
to swing the axe
on the other side
of the bloody world.
Yeah, listen, Tracey...
Let me call you back.
- What's this?
- I'm moving in the spare room.
Need some time alone to think.
To think about what?
(SIGHS) To think about
how I'm married
to someone
I only see at the weekend.
Right, OK, so, what should I do?
You tell me.
I quit my job and hope the
mortgage magically pays itself?
- Don't be a sh*t.
- Well, forgive me.
I'm trying to figure out
what exactly my wife wants.
I'm not your wife.
I'm your housemaid.
All we do now
is make small-talk.
It's...
It's so...
It's so draining
not to feel anything.
(PHONE RINGS)
You should get that.
Hello?
Yes, yes. No, it's fine.
(LAUGHTER, CHAT)
Cheers, nice one, mate. Sound.
Oi, Anto! Where's that 20 quid?
Short arms, long pockets, mate,
is that it?
Have it next week.
Getting Ronaldinho
in the transfer window or what?
For 300 quid?
- And Lionel as well.
- Aye.
- Thank you. Good man.
- Oi!
Just waiting for the bags.
Slainte, boys.
- Yeah, well done.
- Fair do's.
- Table's free in the back.
- Who's in there?
Usuals.
They'd like yous to join them.
Few treats in there and all.
Aye, f*ck it!
Let's celebrate the win, lads.
There's more than one.
How's your lads now, eh?
Hello, Baz,
how's your form, all right?
- Keeping well?
- Yeah, not too bad.
Work away here, lads.
There's a few lines of sniff
there, too, if you fancy it.
Chrissy,
get the lads some shorts.
Count me out.
Hi, Baz. How you been?
All good, Dink. All good, mate.
Good, good. How about your ma?
- Aye, she's sweet.
- No sign of moving out soon?
Not yet.
- I'm on a pig's back with her.
- All right.
(VOICE ECHOING) Are you still
in the, er... in the bank?
Aye, yeah, for my sins.
Must be pretty senior now.
You'll be the boss soon.
Pete was saying you've got
the cash vault keys on yer hip!
Was he now?
I do, aye. Swinging down.
(SNORTS)
No, it's good, yeah. Easy.
DINK: Good.
(TV QUIETLY IN THE BACKGROUND)
Right, get this into yer.
You'll feel better.
Ah, ye legend.
No red sauce in the house, Mum?
Buck eejit!
Give yer poor wee son a break.
Can't you see I'm not well?
- Only yourself to blame.
- (GROANS)
Here.
How much do you want?
That's plenty.
- My head turned, you know that?
- I love you, Mummy.
Mrs Murray, I'm afraid
there's been an accident.
Can we come in?
What is it?
Come with us.
- (CROCKERY SMASHES)
- MRS MURRAY: What you doing?
- MAN: Shut up!
- MURRAY: Celine, out the house!
- MURRAY: Stay there!
- CELINE: Get your hands off me!
- Steady!
- Shut the f*ck up!
- Ow! You're hurting! Get off!
- MURRAY: What's going on?
GET OFF ME!
- Get off me! Let me go!
- Celine! Celine!
Look what you've f*cking done!
This is your fault! Get off me!
- Get out my house! Get out!
- Call off your attack dog.
Celine, stop!
Jesus Christ, he'll k*ll yer!
Get her out of here.
- Get off me!
- You piece of sh*t!
f*ck off!
Let's get the other one.
- (FOOTBALL ON TV)
- The one with the hair's good.
- Ronaldinho? Aye, he's alright.
- You done with that?
Mm-hm. Thank you.
Go on, have a go. Have a go...
Thank you, Mum.
- (DOORBELL)
- I'll get it.
All right, Baz? Just a quick
word about the club, yeah?
- Ceiltigh go Deo.
- What about the club?
- What's he doing? Ma?
- (SHE SCREAMS)
Take your f*cking hands off her!
Get your hands off her!
- What are you doing?
- What's going on?
- Focus, focus. Listen, please.
- We've not done anything.
Listen to me.
You've a very simple choice
to make here, Baz.
Cooperate
and your ma'll be fine.
Don't, she'll be dead. Simple.
- What?
- Ssh.
Now, you've got the keys
home with you, don't you?
What keys?
Don't play the hero, son.
I'm gonna ask ye one more time.
You've got the bank keys
home with you, don't you?
- You need two sets of keys.
- Where are your keys?
Right.
Go upstairs and get them, and
everything for work tomorrow.
Don't forget anything because
you'll not be coming back here.
Go.
Move!
- Mammy.
- Sit.
- No...
- Sit!
I dare you.
Get downstairs.
- Where are you taking my son?
- Behave yourself.
And he'll be fine.
Understood?
Not me, sunshine.
You'll be needing them.
Look, take the keys, you've got
what you wanted and leave us...
- Leave us in peace!
- She has asthma.
She ends up in hospital
if she gets an attack.
All the more reason
for everyone...
..to stay calm.
BARRY: It's gonna be OK.
OK? Let's go.
Let's go.
It's all right, Ma.
I'll be back for you, OK?
Hurry the f*ck up!
Here, turn around.
(FASTENING POPPERS)
No, get off me!
I'm not gonna f*cking ride you,
missus.
- Get off me!
- Shut... the f*ck... up.
(SHE GROANS)
No, no, please.
Not... Not the tape.
Let me wear a hat. There's...
There's a hat in the drawer.
Let me wear a hat. Not the tape.
CELINE: Get off me! Stop!
(CLATTER)
GANGSTER: Get her out
of the house. Move.
- (MUFFLED CRASHES)
- CELINE: Richard!
Just stop!
(BEEP)
Please don't hurt my wife.
Well, now...
that's very much up to you.
Richard Murray.
- CELINE: Let me go.
- (WHISPERS) Bank manager.
CELINE: I've not done anything.
Richard, what have you done?
Get him up.
- CELINE: Where you taking me?
- Shut up.
CELINE:
I need to use the toilet.
You could have asked before we
put the f*cking boiler suit on.
Please, I'm desperate.
For f*ck's sake!
- Do you want to go or not?
- Can I take the hat off?
No. You should know
where your pisshole is by now.
- Go on.
- I need privacy.
(HE TUTS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(URINATING)
Here.
- (SCREAMS)
- (LAUGHS)
GANGSTER: Relax, it isn't
anything I haven't seen before!
MURRAY: What is it you want?
There's no money here.
Agh.
- Barry? What are you...?
- They've got my mother.
They've got Celine, too.
Do you know these people?
- No, do you?
- No, Barry.
I don't associate
with people like this.
You think I do? f*ck you!
You think I'd put my m...?
What? What?
Nothing, just...
Barry, if you know something,
you tell me right now.
Just some hoods in the pub
asking questions.
- What hoods?
- Local guys, heavies.
- What did you tell them?
- I can't f*cking remember!
Another Murray/McKenna
brief encounter.
What?
Let's hope with more amicable
consequences than last time,
eh, Baz?
That was a rumour spread by ones
who wanted Da out West Belfast.
- It's what you want to believe.
- That's the f*cking truth!
Enough!
Both of you.
Let's make this simple.
Do you remember that
kidnapping protocols lecture
you went to last month,
Mr Manager?
- Aye.
- Well, then.
You'll have a head start
on young Baz here, won't you?
You know exactly
what to do in these situations?
The question was what
do you do in these situations?
Cooperate,
depending on the outcome.
Mm.
sh*t.
Sorry, was there something
you wanted to share there?
No, it's just...
I've got an important call
with head office.
f*ck head office.
f*ck the bank!
You owe those b*stards nothing,
and nothing is more important
than what I'm telling you now.
Got it?
Cooperate. Because
we're very serious people.
And we're very serious about
what'll happen if you don't.
You f*ck up,
Baz's ma gets ex*cuted.
You f*ck up,
Richard's wife gets ex*cuted.
No, no way! I'm not putting
Celine's life in his hands!
f*ck you! I don't want you being
responsible for my ma!
- This mess is all your fault!
- All my fault?
MURRAY: Your f*cking mess!
Finished?
Look,
your job is to keep
each other's loved ones alive.
Now,
you'll both be given a phone.
Baz, you'll be given two phones.
What each phone is for
will become clear.
Answer the phones when we call.
Tomorrow,
at an unspecified time,
a white box van
will pull into Wellington Street
beside the bullion bay.
This is the contractor
you've ordered
to clear away the office rubbish
before Christmas.
You will evade security,
fill three cages with cash,
and bring them to us.
This will be
a very swift operation,
and here's the clever bit.
Not one of my men
will set foot inside the bank
at any time.
Get a good night's sleep, lads.
You're gonna need it.
(BIRDSONG)
BARRY: Hello?
OK.
Understood.
(FOOTSTEPS)
What are you at?
I'm making myself pretty
for the g*ng who have my wife.
I'm trying to hide the large
bruise erupting on my face.
No, you're making it worse.
What did they say?
They said we have to go. Now.
Right.
Just take my lead on this.
- We have to stay calm.
- I need to take security down.
There's no way Mags will let us
take a red cent out of the bank.
How do you propose
taking down security?
I've a wrench in my locker.
- What the hell is this, Cluedo?
- So, what's your great plan?
Nothing that involves violence
against my staff!
- You're just a thug.
- What?
What were you blabbing about
to your mates the other night?
- They're not my mates.
- That main guy called you Baz.
- So?
- Like he knows you.
How can you be sure it wasn't
him you were blabbing to?
- Because it wasn't.
- Why have you got two phones?
A back-up maybe? This has
f*ck-all to do with me, yeah?
Well,
that's for you to live with.
Must be your worst nightmare,
stuck in here with me.
You've treated me
like sh*t on your shoes,
scum from West Belfast
since day one.
Once you found out exactly who
I was, that was my card marked.
You'd never consider me
for promotion, everyone but me.
You? Promotion? Wise up.
f*ck! What you doing?
- Get your f*cking hand off.
- (WHEELS SCREECHING)
You'll get us f*cking k*lled!
MURRAY: I'll drop you a block
away. We can't be seen together.
We need to f*cking do this,
all right? Not for you and me...
- There is no you and me.
- Oh, I know that.
I know you can't wait to get me
off your payroll, Richard,
but today all I care about is
my ma, so you can go and shite!
(DISTANT SIREN WAILS)
You can go and shite and all.
Give the g*ng what they want
and away they go.
All right.
And no violence.
I heard you the first time.
(MUTE)
(SECURITY BUZZER)
Not too long before the big man
arrives, eh, Mr Murray?
What?
Father Christmas.
- No Christmas cheer, then?
- You know, Monday and all that.
- What happened to your head?
- I, er...
I caught the corner
of the cupboard.
There's a rubbish van
coming later to do a pick-up.
- Is it in the book?
- No, last-minute thing.
We need to get this place
organised before we close up.
I'll need the details.
I'll give it to you
in a wee minute.
Let me settle first.
Will you buzz me through?
(BUZZER, DOOR UNLOCKS)
Grumpy f*ck!
Agh! f*ck!
PAUL: Mr Murray?
Sorry, I did knock.
I've been tasked
with the chip shop run today,
and I thought that...
Oh. Hold on, Mr Larkin,
he's here.
- Mr Murray.
- I need five.
BARRY: What did you say?
Did you tell 'em?
(BANG)
f*ck!
(GROANS)
(TOILET FLUSHES)
Is there something
I can help you with, Graeme?
(HAND DRIER BLOWS)
You're the one
who needs help, pal.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR SLAMS)
(BUZZER)
(BUZZER)
(BUZZER)
- Mr Murray.
- Hello...
- Jeff.
- Yeah, sorry. My head's away.
Jeff, where have
the staff lockers been moved to?
Thanks.
Jeff, which one's
Barry McKenna's?
- The orange one at the end.
- Right you are.
sh*t!
(BUZZER)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Mr Larkham from head office
is still waiting.
He's furious.
What happened you?
Do you have the list?
I'm finalising it now, OK?
He'll have it soon.
TRACEY: Mr Larkin.
- Mr Murray is here now.
- 'Richard!
'Finally. Not quite first thing
Monday, though, is it?'
Sorry, sir.
I've had quite the weekend.
'I'm happy to hear
you had a good one, mate.
'You do realise it's the middle
of the f*cking night here?
'So, where's
my redundancy list?'
(PHONE RINGS)
(ECHOING) 'Somebody
or something is ringing
'or we've all got tinnitus.'
(RINGING CONTINUING)
Mr Murray, what are you doing?
(RINGING CONTINUING)
(BEEP)
Hello?
GANGSTER: 'I thought
you'd answer a bit quicker
'considering we have a g*n
to your wife's head.'
It was in my pocket.
'This is a test run, Richard.
'When we call,
you answer immediately.
'Fail, she dies.'
(CALL ENDS)
(LIFT BELL DINGS)
(CLOCK TICKING)
(BUZZER)
(BUZZER)
(TICKING FADES)
- (# THEME TO "THE BILL")
- Ah, class!
You ever watched this, missus?
Your loss.
I had such a crush on that one.
I was pure gutted
when she got married.
(LONDON ACCENT) Time for a brew.
Innit? (CHUCKLES)
Where's the biccies at?
(CLATTERING IN KITCHEN)
- (CROCKERY CLATTERS)
- Didn't break, it's all right.
Is this lino or real wood?
Thinking of getting me ma
a new kitchen.
(VOICES OUTSIDE)
(WHISTLING OUTSIDE)
Agh! Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God, no.
- Get up!
Oh, my God.
Don't f*cking move again,
all right?
Are you f*cking listening to me?
- Don't f*cking move again.
- (SOBS)
BARRY: I'm listening.
GANGSTER: 'Your ma thought it
would be clever to write a note
- 'and put it in the letterbox.'
- Jesus Christ, don't hurt her.
- Please don't hurt her.
- 'Swear on it!'
- f*ck...
- 'Swear on the holy picture!'
Please, just do it, Ma, yeah?
Just do it, please.
- MA: 'I swear to Jesus Christ.'
- GANGSTER: 'Louder!'
Calm your breathing, Mum, yeah?
- Just breathe.
- 'Listen to your son.
'You've now sworn
on the holy picture.'
Has she got her inhaler?
She needs...
(CALL ENDS)
(PHONE RINGS)
Yeah?
GANGSTER: 'We want a sweetener.
'1 million in 20s at 6:25.'
How are we supposed to do that?
That'll be impossible to get
past Mags' X-ray f*cking vision.
'That's for you to work out.
'You know what's at stake here,
don't you?'
Sorry. Sorry, OK.
- Where do you want it?
- You'll receive instructions.
- He done quite the job on it.
- Who did?
Murray. He stoved it in
with a screwdriver.
Why would he do that
to your locker?
I don't know, it's all good.
I said he could, yeah?
Honestly.
I'd be having a word with HR,
if I were you.
- I'd be a witness, if you want.
- It's all good, Jeff, yeah?
It's all good, mate.
f*ck.
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
- They want a million out first.
- What?
- What did you say? A million?
- Ssh!
They want 1 million
out in 20s at 6:25.
6:25? But that's not
what they mentioned yesterday.
They said they're coming
in a van. Why the change?
How should I know?
He said it's a wee sweetener.
- What does that mean?
- Ring back and ask, Richard.
Oh, sh*t!
The rubbish collection.
Meet me in the vault in five.
(PHONE RINGING)
- Yes, Steve.
- No, it's Richard, listen.
'About the rubbish collection.'
I don't have specifics on time,
but they'll let me know
when they're ready.
If we don't have the details,
how do I log it, Mr Murray?
Mags, as I said, they will let
me know and I'll let you know.
If you give me the number,
I'll confirm the collection.
(CALL ENDS)
(BELL WARBLES)
(BUZZER)
(CLOCK TICKING)
BARRY: What were you hoping
to find? Weapons? Balaclavas?
I never touched your damn
locker. Let's get this done.
MURRAY: One... two... three.
(HEAVY CLUNK)
(METAL GRATING)
(CLUNK)
Where are your phones?
Where are your f*cking phones?
What the hell are you doing?
- You had three calls from them.
- Yeah, I would.
- One earlier saying time to go.
- And then?
To hear my ma crying and
swearing on her holy picture.
- After that?
- They want to take 1 million.
- And bring it out where?
- I don't know yet.
I have to call them when
I'm out, on the other phone.
This is gonna end in tears
for you if you're involved.
You, too,
will have to "disappear".
You honestly think
I'm in on it, do ye?
- Where did that appear from?
- Oh, for f*ck...
My training bag's been in the
bottom of my locker for months.
You know that already. You've
been in my f*cking locker.
Do you think I would put my ma,
the woman I love more than
anything, through this sh*t?
I don't know your ma's actually
going through anything.
I had a g*n put to my head by a
coked-up wee c**t in a tracksuit
who, right now,
is in my house with my ma.
What do you want me to say,
Richard?
My dad put your f*cking da out,
is that it?
Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't.
I don't know.
I'm not my f*cking da.
You don't trust me and my type.
I was brought up
not to trust you and your type.
- I'm f*cking Catholic like you!
- But your sh*t don't stink.
Whatever you need
to tell yourself.
Richard, I am not my f*cking da.
You are not your da.
So, believe it or not, see us,
in this moment, we are equal.
Might k*ll you to admit it,
but it's true.
Give me the phones.
Just give me the phones.
He definitely said 20s? Cos
that's not gonna fit in there.
- (BUZZER)
- What do we say?
(DOOR OPENS)
Hello! Hello.
Everything OK down here?
Yes. Fine thanks, Mags.
How are you?
I saw you fall.
Oh, um...
He helped me move the cages
and he slipped.
Yeah. Getting ready
for the rubbish collection.
What happened to your hand?
- Skinned it on the cages.
- MURRAY: Yeah.
They're really heavy.
Busiest time of the year.
Christmas.
OK.
Thought you'd hurt yourself,
Mr Murray.
No, um...
Thanks for your concern, Mags.
- She's going.
- (BUZZER)
(PHONE RINGS)
Hello?
- (MUFFLED VOICE)
- Hello?
- (VOICE CUTTING OUT)
- Signal's coming and going.
MURRAY: Hello? Hello?
(PHONE RINGS)
Just go, go, go! Just go!
Go!
(RINGING CONTINUING)
(RINGING STOPS)
(LIFT BELL DINGS)
Well?
Says he slipped.
Barry ran in there, left there
and went up to the women's bogs.
(GULLS CALLING)
Drink.
It's only water.
Is my husband OK?
What if he can't get them
what they want?
There's security guards,
how's he supposed...?
Do you not have faith
in your husband, Mrs Murray?
- Not always.
- (LAUGHS)
I hear ye.
Well, I suppose you'll know
all about him one way or another
after this.
I buttered you some Paris bun.
No, thanks.
You'll need the sugar
for energy.
Energy for what?
What's gonna happen?
- Why are you doing all this?
- All what?
Taking people hostage, an
innocent woman, for Christ sake.
We're all innocent, love.
Are you the mother
to one of them?
Nope.
- Wife?
- Definitely not.
- So, why does a woman...?
- Listen, sweetheart.
The Troubles visit
people's doors
in different ways
and we all need to survive.
Troubles visited our door, too.
I didn't end up in a g*ng.
Well, lucky you.
You had a bank manager
to bring home money, I didn't.
I had nobody
to bring me anything.
So, sit there and shut
yer damn gob, Miss Prim.
(BUZZER)
Mr Murray?
Mr Larkin sent this.
It's the redundancy list.
He told me to put it directly
into your hand.
MURRAY: Marjorie Fulton?
Mags is on the list!
(BUZZER)
I asked if they're OK
with bigger notes.
Tracey.
Be careful, Barry,
for Christ's sake.
- Wise up, she'd no clue.
- (BUZZER)
- What did he say?
- What?
- Who was it?
- Oh, I don't know.
Deep voice.
Told him we need time
to answer calls in the vault.
- Why did he call?
- Checking up.
- Checking up?
- Yeah.
I don't know.
Checking the phones work, OK?
Jesus Christ.
Who's getting the boot, then?
No need to pretend.
- I know I'm already gone.
- My head's on the block, too.
Bullshit. You know you're safe,
nobody knows the place like you.
- You have no idea.
- They need you for a takeover.
They don't need the likes of me.
Clearly.
MURRAY: Right.
That's a million.
Are you OK?
Yeah, all good. Just, er...
Just need a second.
- You need to look normal.
- Yeah, I know that.
I know, I'm trying to, but...
Jesus.
Barry, you need to calm down.
Just give me a second.
If I f*ck this up, Richard,
they sh**t my mother.
Your wife.
Blood on my hands
for the rest of my life.
- No, no, listen...
- I can't do it. I can't...
Forget about everything else
right now.
I've gotta go.
Good luck.
(CLOCK TICKING)
Good.
They'll know something's up.
GANGSTER: 'That's your problem,
Richard.'
OK.
- OK, fine, I'll give it a go.
- 'You'll give it a go?'
No, no, no. I'll do it.
I'll do it.
Tracey?
Can I have a word?
Can you quickly let the staff
know they can head home now?
- They'll be paid until nine.
- Sure.
Get some last-minute
Christmas shopping in.
Richard? When are you gonna
notify the staff on the list?
I...
f*cking list!
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
f*ck!
Merry Christmas!
(EXCITED CHATTER)
(LIFT BELL DINGS)
(PRESSES BUZZER)
(BUZZER)
Sneaking away early,
are you, man?
Ah, you know yourself.
Here till we're closed.
Anything in that bag for me?
Not unless you want to wash
11 million football jerseys.
I'm gonna need
to see inside the bag.
Aye.
(SIGHS)
Bloody thing.
- Any time of day, like.
- Yeah, I know.
(LIFT BELL DINGS,
VOICES APPROACH)
This thing's f*cked. One second.
- Mags.
- Jim?
Jim?
- What is going on today?
- He's let them out to shop.
- I'll buzz them through.
- What's the hold-up, Jim?
(LOCK OPENS, PEOPLE CHEER)
JIM: Thank you very much.
Not too often we get this,
is it? A free shopping day.
Enjoy.
No sneaky parties, you two.
Why are you sending staff home?
(MURRAY SIGHS) Just to give
them a bit of shopping time.
- They've been so busy recently.
- Would be nice to be notified.
I'm sorry, Mags.
I'm just a bit distracted today.
Yeah, I can see that
very clearly.
You need to be straight
with people.
It's not fair
to be keeping them in limbo.
What?
You can't mess people about
if you know what's gonna happen.
If they're gonna make cuts,
then for God's sake,
please, let me know now so
I can make a plan.
You've needed me a lot in here
over the years.
I need you now to be fair to me.
You will not be on that list,
Mags, whatever happens.
You can trust me on that.
I will trust you on that.
Mags.
If you want to take a wee bit of
time, too, you know, feel free.
Get some shopping in, maybe.
Jim and I can surely hold
the fort for a couple of hours.
Really, could you? You can run
security here as well, can you?
I'm not saying that.
Jesus Christ, I'm just...
I'm just giving you some time.
I don't need time, Richard.
I need my job.
(CLOCK TICKING)
I'm outside, with the bag.
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC BLARES)
Yeah, no,
Queen's Street, I know it.
- Big ba*ls!
- Give me that.
What the f*ck is in that?
Is there f*cking bricks in it?
- You're a f*cking bricky now?
- Give me the f*cking bag, Pete.
What the f*ck's wrong with you?
I have to go.
Baz!
(BUZZER)
They took it.
- Who was it?
- Some guy. Didn't say anything.
No, I didn't know him.
He didn't give
any other instructions?
Well, maybe that's it.
Maybe that's all they wanted.
Aye, yeah.
(PHONE CHIMES)
- Oh, God, no.
- What?
Jesus Christ, is that a g*n?
Richard...
(PHONE CHIMES)
You f*cking serious? I've just
given them a million pound.
I'll f*cking k*ll you if you
hurt my mother. I'll k*ll you!
'And now
on BBC1 Northern Ireland...'
Now, was that the best smile
you could do for your son?
Was it?
She'll be in a bad way
with her breathing.
(PHONE RINGS)
Wait till we get up top.
Wait till we get up top.
(RINGING CONTINUING)
Wait till we get up top.
- (BUZZER)
- Yeah? Hello? Hello?
Hello.
GANGSTER: 'I want three
full cages waiting.
'Tell Baz to call us
when you're ready.'
Right.
(PHONE RINGS)
Mr Murray?
'The rubbish contractor's
gonna pick up shortly.'
- Do you have the details yet?
- 'No. Not yet.'
- Beyond my pay grade to care.
- Well, it's not beyond mine.
Get your arse down there and get
the details when they turn up.
Please.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Thanking you.
BARRY: What do we do? 20s? 50s?
MURRAY: God knows.
Just throw it in.
- (BUZZER)
- Someone's coming.
- Murray, are you there?
- Ah, Jim.
Yeah.
Jim.
- You got that name for me yet?
- What name?
The name of the rubbish folks
for the access log.
What's the name
of the rubbish company?
Jim, I'm up to me eyes. You'll
see their name when they arrive.
No worries. Not much wrong
with that old chair.
Oh, dodgy leg. Death trap.
Nah, get away.
That'll do me for my shed.
Jim.
Can't let you take it.
- Why not?
- It's, er... bank property.
Well, God forbid(!)
"Bank property"?
(BUZZER)
(PHONE RINGS)
What?
- Go. Go.
- Yes.
(BUZZER)
Hello?
GANGSTER: 'We are ready.'
Give it a push!
- Use your back.
- OK.
(BUZZER)
(PHONE RINGS)
Let the prick wait.
f*ck him!
"Bank property" my arse!
f*ck!
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.
(STRAINING)
(BUZZER)
(BUZZER)
(CLOCK TICKING)
(CLUNK)
(DOOR GRINDING, SQUEAKING)
GANGSTER: Right, lads. Move.
Can you make sure my ma's got
her inhaler? She's got asthma.
GANGSTER: Hey, compadre!
Where you going?
Give that a wee push on there.
Don't just f*cking
stand there, Barry. Help him.
For f*ck's sake.
(MOTOR WHIRRING)
(MOTOR WHIRRING)
(REVELLERS LAUGHING, CHEERING)
(CHEERING)
Well, lads, working late?
(LAUGHTER)
What's with the wigs?
Are yous on a stag?
(LAUGHTER)
(VOICES FADE AWAY)
GANGSTER: Get the last cage on.
Hurry up.
- On you get.
- (MOTOR WHIRRING)
Right, hold her steady.
All the way into the back there.
- Stay in there.
- BARRY: What? Why?
Why am I going?
Why do you need to take him?
Insurance, Rich. Insurance.
Stay inside, keep warm.
Wait for the call.
(DOOR SLAMS, ENGINE STARTS)
JIM: What are you doing?
Have they taken our cages?
Er... No. They'll bring them
back tomorrow.
Where's the Sundance Kid?
- Who?
- Barry, who do you think?
Oh, he said he's away for f*gs.
Is he coming back or what?
I very much doubt it.
JIM: Here, you still have
to get me the name
of the rubbish folk for the log.
(SPLUTTERS)
(COUGHING)
What you f*cking done?
This is your fault!
Why have you got two phones?
You don't honestly think
I'm in on this?
'Emergency.
Which service do you require?'
- (PHONE RINGS)
- 'Hello?'
'Hello?'
'Richard.'
Yes?
'It's me, Barry.
'Richard, are you there?'
Why are you...?
- 'We're coming back, me and...'
- Who?
'Me and the g*ng.
They want more.'
- More what?
- 'Cash.
'They want to do another run.
'They want more cash,
are you listening to me?'
Barry,
what the f*ck is going on?
'I'll be there in 20 minutes.
'Do you hear me?'
(CALL ENDS)
(OWL HOOTING)
(STRAINED BREATHING)
(OWLS HOOTING)
(SOBBING)
Ugh.
Please.
Please what, Miss Prim? You want
your buttered Paris bun now?
(CLICK)
Please return my body
to my family.
- Shut your mouth.
- (CRIES)
- (BUZZER)
- Night, Jeff.
Mags,
you need to take a look at this.
(BUZZER, DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(BUZZER, DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
Richard.
Come on.
(STRAINING)
(BUZZER)
(BUZZER CONTINUING)
Mags is looking for you.
Is she? Can you buzz us through?
Is that more...?
- Are they coming back for that?
- Aye, they are.
Can you buzz us through?
(BUZZER)
(CLOCK TICKING)
Jim!
Can you open the roller doors?
Jim!
Please!
(CLUNK)
(MOTOR WHIRRING)
(SHALLOW, LABOURED BREATHING)
(OWLS HOOTING)
My car?
That's my car. No!
(MOTOR WHIRRING)
(SNIFFS) Whiskey?
- Aye, I had...
- You drinking on the job?
Drinking on OUR job?
Uisce Beatha.
Baz, you'll know. Tell him.
- The water of life.
- Correct.
The water of life, Richard.
All right, lads, that's it.
In one hour,
you can go back to your lives.
Merry Christmas.
Help!
'Emergency,
which service do you require?'
MAN: I need the police.
I've a woman here.
There's been a kidnapping
and I think a bank robbery.
All right?
(CROCKERY RATTLES)
- (CRIES OUT)
- Calm down.
Now, I'm gonna leave you,
but you have to stay
on the floor for one full hour.
We will be watching.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SIREN BLARING)
'Foxtrot 524 from Uniform.'
Go ahead, Uniform.
'Foxtrot 524,
Wellington Street, Belfast.
'Reported activity,
side of the Northern Bank.
'Believed suspicious.
Can you take a look?'
Roger, Uniform.
- Suspicious activities?
- 'Roger.
'Caller reports men,
believed to be wearing wigs
'whilst loading a white van.'
Roger, Uniform,
we'll check it out.
Could be Father Christmas
robbing a bank.
Times are hard, you know.
We'll take a cruise by.
'Roger.'
Worth having
the holding cells free.
In case he's his reindeer
with him.
Foxtrot 524.
Wellington Street is all clear.
No suspicious activities.
- (BARRY SOBBING)
- They got what they wanted.
Do... Do you think my ma
and your wife are safe?
They'd have no reason
to hurt them.
Yeah.
Jesus.
I've probably done more damage
to Celine over the years
than they did.
Barry, this is all I've done
for years, work-work-work 24/7,
and never bothered me arse
about Celine because of the job.
That's all I thought about,
day and night.
Everything was falling apart
under my nose at home
and all I could think about
was...
..was all the things
that might go wrong in a bank.
Like a g*ng of binmen
coming to rob the place?
Like having to make
half the staff redundant.
- It'll be easier for you now.
- How's that?
To let people off
now you're down 20-odd million.
Aye.
Every cloud.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Ah, you... b*stard.
Can you blame me?
I thought all those cash amounts
were g*ng payments.
Yeah, course you did.
30 quid. That'd be a shite
return for a bank robbery.
These are the football club's
members' fees.
- You never heard of a computer?
- Ah.
Too bloody lazy.
What do you reckon?
We sign you up for next season?
Sure, why not?
I'd say I'll have
a lot more free time.
I'd say we both will.
Sweetheart, did they hurt you?
Did they hurt you?
Celine, no.
Celine, no, look at me.
Celine.
(MUSIC SWELLS, DIALOGUE FADES)
(INAUDIBLE)
REPORTER: 'Precise in its
planning, daring in execution
'and staggering in its scale.
'This was a bank robbery which
has netted the g*ng behind it
'in excess
of 20 million sterling,
'making it one of the most
lucrative heists ever.
'The family of two
bank officials were held hostage
'by a g*ng from Sunday evening
until Monday night.
'The men, both senior officials,
'were ordered to remove the vast
sum from the bank's vaults.
'How the money was transported
from the bank and by whom,
'and how many individuals were
involved is still not known.'
SPOKESMAN: 'This was a violent
and brutal crime.
'It was not
some Robin Hood effort.
'Two families were kidnapped,
they were abducted.
'People were threatened with
death if they did not comply
'with the kidnappers'
instructions.
'They were put through
a great deal of trauma,
'which is why
we take it so seriously.
'Over 45 detectives are employed
on this enquiry,
'plus substantial numbers of
analysts and forensic experts.
'Already 100 interviews
have been conducted.
'We have about 100 more planned,
'and there have been
many searches of both domestic
'and commercial properties
in relation to this crime.
'We have been in consultation
with the Northern Bank.
They will make an announcement
this afternoon
in relation to their banknotes.
They intend to withdraw
all banknotes from circulation,
and to reissue them
in a different colour and style.
'In essence,
this large robbery has become
'the largest theft
of waste paper
'in the living history of
Northern Ireland.'
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No Ordinary Heist (2026)
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