01x12 - Prison Break Grandpa

[bunniefuu]

[soft music playing]

[siren wailing]

[man] Hmm?

[alarm blaring]

[guard] It seems

like he's already made it outside.

[Seiji] Man The fact that he'd been

behaving himself should've tipped me off.

GONNA POP OUT FOR A BI

-BAN

[Seiji] Damn that old geezer.

[chuckles]

[opening theme song playing]

MISSION: YOZAKURA FAMILY

Hope you had a good day at school.

PLAN 12

PRISON BREAK GRANDPA

You know how the house's facial ID

gets reset if you're away for a year?

[Ban] I didn't feel like dealing

with all the traps,

so I hopped in just before school let out.

[sighs]

But anyway, you're my new grandchild, huh?

You sure look like a stiff.

Nice to meet you.

I'm your grandpa.

[Ban gasps]

An intruder!

[Ban] What? Did nothing I said

get through to you?

Hey, hold on!

Time out!

-[g*nsh*t echoes]

-[Ban cries out]

Jeez, for a second there,

I thought I saw Grandma.

Sorry, Mutsumi. I kind of freaked out.

Anyone would have.

That was proper self-defense.

[Mutsumi] Let's start over.

I'll introduce you.

This is Grandpa Ban.

Nice to meet you!

Please use this, if you'd like.

[Ban] Why, thank you, young lady!

Well, who knew that you'd hired

such a lovely maid while I was away?

Would you like to go shopping with me now?

[Mutsumi coughs]

[Taiyo] Who is this guy?

Huh?

Right, enough with the jokes.

Those reflexes of yours weren't bad!

What a good husband you are!

Grandpa's mind is at ease now!

It was worth coming

all this way to see you!

Here. A wedding gift-slash-pocket money

from me.

[Taiyo gasps]

You didn't really come here

just to congratulate us, did you?

For my beloved newlywed grandchildren?

Of course I did!

I wish I'd come sooner, actually.

[Ban] Well, and there's one other reason.

Taiyo! Time for a fun outing

with your new grandpa!

-Come on, let's go!

-What? All of a sudden?

[Ban] Huh?

What are you doing here, Gramps?

[Mutsumi] Big Bro!

Hey, Kyoichiro. I thought

you were away on an overseas mission.

[Kyoichiro] I got an emergency request

from the police.

Namely, "Bring back the escaped convict,

Ban Yozakura."

Escaped convict?

Oh, come on, don't put it that way.

It's misleading.

[laughing]

[Ban] I'm just permanently stationed

inside that prison

as part of my mission

to gather info from the underworld.

Okay? I'll be going back soon, so let me

have some fun outside for a moment!

[Kyoichiro] Out of the question.

Gramps, you're a walking leak who'll spill

any secret just to impress the ladies.

SCAMS, CORRUPTION, ASSASSINATIONS,

SPIES, BACKDOOR DEALS, SCANDALS

Except for emergencies,

you're prohibited from going out.

[Taiyo] He's unfit to be a pro!

Hate to break it to you,

but your vacation's over.

I don't want to hurt you. Don't resist.

[chuckles]

Well, someone's gotten c*ck

in the short time since I last saw him.

[Ban] Seems like he's forgotten

who changed his diapers.

Hmm?

Stop me if you can, greenhorn.

[Taiyo] What? He slipped through?

-[beeps]

-[expl*si*n booms]

[Mutsumi gasps]

[coughs, gasps]

Oh, no. He took Taiyo with him.

[cell phone vibrates]

[Seiji] How's it looking?

-[Kyoichiro] Sorry! He got away from me.

-[sighs]

[Seiji] Is that right?

Well, it is what it is.

[Kyoichiro] That said,

I've got Taiyo tracking him.

I'll send you the coordinates later.

[Mutsumi] A photo?

Listen up, Taiyo.

With his Joint Dislocation Skills

and Flexible Skeleton,

Grandpa Ban is a legendary mole who

can infiltrate or escape any facility.

He's gathered a massive amount of data

over several decades.

There are as many people gunning for it

as there are stars in the sky.

[Kyoichiro] It won't k*ll him

if you rough him up a bit.

Catch him before things get out of hand,

for the old guy's sake as well.

Roger that.

[Kyoichiro] So what's Gramps up to now?

We're at what he says

is a members-only bar.

[Ban] All right!

You bet I'm going to order

the hottest diamond ring on the market!

Aah! Ban, that's so generous of you!

[Taiyo] He's hitting on women

left and right!

[woman] Aww. You're so cute, little boy!

-[Taiyo] H-Hey, cut that out!

-[woman] Is that a cosplay?

[Taiyo] I have a wife!

While I'm being generous,

want to hear some hilarious state secrets?

Yes! Tell us, tell us!

[Taiyo] I'm on the front lines

of an info leak!

Using the country's slush funds,

they and

You're out!

-Whoa!

-[Ban chuckles]

-[Taiyo grunts]

-[laughs]

You're way too young to hold me back.

Huh?

[Taiyo] Extreme Glue, Nanao Rice Cake.

I'm sorry, but this is it!

[chuckles]

So naive.

The only thing that can stop me

is a beautiful woman.

[both] Oh, wow! Ban, you're so cool!

[Taiyo] Damn that geezer.

Come on, youngster.

I'll give you some training!

You

[Taiyo] Damn it! [grunting]

[Ban laughs]

Give it another five years.

Then you'll be able to at least graze me.

[Taiyo] Is this guy actually old?

So, why did you go through all the trouble

of breaking out of prison?

[Taiyo] If you wanted to see us, couldn't

you just wait till your mission was over?

It had to be today.

What?

A youngster like you

wouldn't get it just yet.

It's been a long time, Mr. Ban.

Here is the three-year-old

Kitamare vintage sake.

Ah! That was Grandma's favorite sake.

Sure brings back memories!

Give me a few bottles.

All right, Taiyo. Pick yourself up

by guzzling this down! Go!

You do know I'm underage, right?

[sighs]

Being a spy is all about

drinking, smoking, and women.

You beta males nowadays are so boring.

At this rate, you'll never

give me a great-grandchild.

[Taiyo coughing] G-Great-grandchild?

[laughs] You naive modern kid, you!

Well then, for future reference,

how about I go into graphic detail

about me and Grandma making out?

[Taiyo] I really don't need to hear that.

Save it, please.

Grandma was a gorgeous woman with

lustrous, dark hair and a cheerful smile.

[Taiyo] I'm not listening.

Before I met her,

I had no one else in the world

[Ban] I never opened up to anyone,

and I didn't care what happened,

not even to myself.

[Taiyo] Just like me?

[Ban] It was Keiko who shone a light

on the life I was leading so recklessly.

[Keiko chuckles]

Take care of yourself

like you take care of me, Ban.

[Ban] She was a fine woman.

She was way too good for the likes of me.

I'm getting the sense that you're like me.

That's why I wanted

to talk about this with you,

as a guy who also

married into the Yozakura clan.

Love may be infinite, but life is finite.

Cherish the present

so you'll never have any regrets.

[Ban] For you two to be happy,

that's all I ever want.

[Taiyo] You don't have to worry.

Mutsumi has made me happier

than I ever could've hoped.

[Taiyo] I don't have a single regret.

I'm going to do all that I can so that

Mutsumi feels the same about me.

That's really the only thing I can do.

[chuckles]

[Ban gulps]

[Ban laughs] You know what,

I like you, Taiyo!

Okay, let me take you

to an even better bar than this one!

Welcome.

-[Taiyo] I don't think

-[Ban] Don't be shy!

-I told you it's all right! [laughs]

-Ow, ow, ow!

-[handcuff clicks]

-Huh?

I knew I'd find you here.

These handcuffs will explode if you try

to take them off by force or break them.

You'd better behave yourself if you

don't want to blow off your wife's hand.

K-Keiko!

Sorry we got here so late, Taiyo.

Mutsumi?

[Mutsumi] Let me introduce you two.

This is my grandma.

Sorry for my idiot husband, Taiyo.

KEIKO YOZAKURA

EIGHTH FAMILY HEAD

G-Grandma

Keiko!

I never thought I'd get to see you!

[Taiyo] She's alive?

Unbelievable. Thank goodness

Mutsumi called me.

Look! It's your favorite sake, Kitamare!

And I also consulted the girls

to buy you this popular ring!

So let's go on a date today!

[Keiko] Don't be ridiculous.

You and I both have work to do.

Now get yourself back to prison.

[Ban] What? No way!

Come on, it's our anniversary!

I want to make out with you, Keiko!

It's their anniversary, huh?

That explains why he broke out today.

Right. I'd forgotten about it, too,

until I saw the photo.

Well, I guess I know how he feels.

[gentle music playing]

[Taiyo] Mutsumi has made me happier

than I ever could've hoped.

I don't have a single regret.

Oh.

Right.

She got herself a good husband, huh?

Yes. Just like I did.

[Mutsumi] Apparently Grandpa managed

to cry his way

into getting a date just for that one day.

The one thing to learn from him is

how to be so lovey-dovey even in old age.

[Goliath purring]

KING OF CHEATING

I'm home, my darling grandkids!

I ended up breaking out of prison again!

Here! I brought you

some Prison Break treats.

Oh, Ayaka?

Where is everybody?

[Ayaka] They've all gone out today.

It's the monthly family shopping trip.

What?

[Ban] I wanted to go, too!

So, what should we do after this?

I'm going over to Kane's,

so let's split up.

Yeah, me too.

[Nanao] I'm going to the drugstore.

Want to come with me, Big Bro Kengo?

Yeah, I'm in!

Okay, why don't we split up for now?

All right, let's head out now.

We're counting on you

to take care of the bill, "eldest son."

[scoffs] As if I'd fall for that.

The only thing I'm paying for is Mutsumi

Won't you?

[Kyoichiro] Check, please!

Thank you very much!

[Mutsumi chuckles]

All right, let's meet up in two hours.

Okay!

[Taiyo] You know, it's been a while

since I was last at this mall.

We used to come here all the time

way back when

[Mutsumi] Taiyo?

Is something the matter?

No, it's nothing.

By the way, what are we getting today?

Let's see.

Tissues, toilet paper, milk, eggs

b*ll*ts, hand grenades

[Taiyo] Hold up. Hold up. Hold up.

Man, I've been dying to see this movie.

Sui, don't piss yourself in fear, okay?

You hear that, Oga?

What? Why me?

[Mutsumi] Oh, there it is!

Let's see, for 100 yen

[Taiyo] So Mutsumi's

into this kind of thing?

[Mutsumi] Left thrice.

Right once. Left twice.

[Taiyo] She's a bit childlike

in some ways.

All right! Here it is!

[gasps]

Whoa, heavy!

[Taiyo] Hand grenades?

It sure is crowded, huh?

Y-Yeah.

Welcome! May I take your order?

100 kilograms

of iron tapioca milk tea, please!

[Taiyo] And what's iron tapioca, Mutsumi?

Thank you very much!

You can pay with cash, by credit card

or in blood or eyeballs.

[Taiyo] She understood the order!

But those payment methods are scary!

[Mutsumi] Handguns are "milk tea,"

and r*fles are "coffee."

Mutsumi, I'm starting to get an inkling,

but is this place

Yes. At this mall, they sell supplies

for spies, con artists, assassins,

and members of the underworld.

Okay, let's move on to our next stop.

[Kane] For that memory ball

from the '00s,

this alloy catalyst for analysis

should do the trick.

Thanks, Kane.

Come on, let's go, Shinzo.

H-Hold up!

KANEKICHI

WEAPONS SHOP

[Kane] That one comes

in this year's new color.

-[Shion] What is this, apparel?

-Can't make up my mind.

The choice is clear.

Whenever you waver, you pick the product

in your right hand 85% of the time.

But 97% of the time,

you regret that choice

within two days of getting home.

So, there's a 99% chance

that the left one will be the right pick.

-[Kane] Thanks for your business!

-Shion, you're amazing!

Know yourself, my dimwit big bro.

CHIYOMOMIN

[joints cracking]

[Chiyo] You're as stiff as ever, Futaba.

How many did you take out this month?

[Futaba] About 300?

Don't give me that.

You're stiff enough to have hurled 500!

CHIYO

EX-BODYGUARD, 97

Whatever you do, your body is your asset.

Young or not, don't ever overdo it.

[Futaba] Ah, feels so good

[masseuse] Is she bending a steel pipe

or something next door?

DRUGSTORE

TRIP

[Nanao sighs]

TRIP

A DRUGSTORE THAT HAS IT ALL

Isn't this cyanide too concentrated?

[shop assistant] Well, these days,

a lot of people have high tolerance.

This is a facial pack that soothes

skin and muscles made rough by disguises.

[Kengo, in high pitched voice]

I can feel it working!

[shopkeeper] Welcome, Mr. Yozakura.

I've obtained the product you wanted.

[chuckling]

MI-CHAN'S BOOKSHELF

HORRIFYING BOOKS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD

[shopkeeper] Including

the removal of blood

and bulletproofing of this shirt,

that will be 4,980 yen.

Th-Thank you very much.

HAKUINSHA

CATCHPHRASE IS "WILL CLEAN ANYTHING"

PICKED IT UP.

HEADING BACK

MUTSUMI

THANKS!

[chuckles contentedly] Oh.

Uh?

[crying]

Daddy.

[Taiyo] Mutsumi?

[girl crying]

Your love child?

[Taiyo] Are you kidding me?

Seems like this girl

got separated from her dad.

[Mutsumi] Oh, I see.

What's your name?

S-Suzu.

So, Suzu, do you remember where it was

that you got separated from your father?

The scary people took my daddy away.

-What?

-Where did they take your father?

[Suzu] Th-They said,

"Let's talk downstairs."

[Suzu continues crying]

[Mutsumi] This mall has

an unmarked basement floor,

where you'll find a black market

that sells products

that are too edgy for upstairs.

[unsettling music playing]

Gaon basement floor one

[Mutsumi] Gaon Castle.

[Taiyo] So seedy!

Make sure you stay alert, okay?

If you let your guard down,

you'll end up as a product.

[Taiyo] You mean dismembered?

Miss, I'm scared.

Don't worry.

[Mutsumi] These people are well aware

of the risks of targeting me.

[Suzu's dad] Please, spare me!

-Daddy!

-[Taiyo] This way!

[Suzu's dad] Please don't do this.

I quit being a mule!

[bald man scoffs] Losing your nerve

just because you have a kid now

You can pay the penalty

with your lungs and eyes.

[Suzu's dad] N-No.

Back off!

-[g*nsh*t fires]

-[bald man grunts]

[Suzu] Daddy!

Suzu!

[Suzu cries]

-Come on, let's get out of here now.

-Right.

[man 2] Taiyo Asano!

[man 3] The Yozakura head is one thing,

but you're a great prize yourself!

How about a blood-loss special

for $500,000?

[Taiyo] Who, me?

[criminals] First come, first served!

[Taiyo screams]

[criminals grunt]

-Uh

-You're done shopping, right?

We're heading home, you two.

[man 3] K-Kyoichiro Yozakura.

Big Bro!

Big Bro Kyoichiro

Huh?

COMPLETE COLLECTION OF t*rture

[Taiyo] It's because

he wants to try that on me

-[Mutsumi] that he saved you, huh?

-[Kyoichiro chuckles]

Damn it, we can't possibly

beat the eldest son.

Idiot! Stand your ground.

They may be Yozakuras,

but the numbers are on our side.

Whoa!

[grunts]

[Nanao grunts]

[bald man] What, they're all here?

Y-You'll pay for this, you monsters!

I swear I'll get my reven

Huh? [screams]

[loud thud]

Doesn't today's 4D technology

blow your mind?

Even the screams are realistic!

The building is collapsing for real.

Them again, huh?

BREAKING NEWS - MYSTERIOUS SINKING

[reporter] This just in.

It appears the first floor of Gaon Mall

has sunk into the ground.

[pleasant music playing]

Isn't it great

that Suzu was reunited with her dad?

Yeah. But wasn't the damage

a bit excessive?

Seriously? You couldn't even handle

that on your own, you little

[grunts]

Hey! We forgot to buy gifts

for Ayaka and the others.

[all] We bought them.

Let's come again, okay, Taiyo?

Sure.

[ending theme music playing]