02x06 - Bandido de Tacos

[bunniefuu]

[bright music playing]

We should call Daddy and celebrate.

I already texted him. He's on his way!

- No, no, no!
- [women laughing]

Oh God, man, didn't I tell you?

Didn't I tell you?

Now we are family.

- Now you are family--
- Okay, listen...

- [Austin and Dallas giggling]
- Guys, guys, guys.

[shouts] Guys!

There's been a misunderstanding.

That ring's for someone else.

[upbeat music playing]

[Austin] I don't get it.
You just... You walk around

carrying an engagement ring
for your ex-girlfriend?

I know it looks bad, but it's complicated.

Well then, why were you
hanging all over me at the cook-off,

talking about kids?

Well, to be fair,
you brought that up to me,

and I was just answering honestly.

I wasn't saying
I wanted to have kids tomorrow.

I genuinely thought
we had a real connection too.

No, we do have a connection.
I had such a great time at the rodeo.

It's just been one day.

And it's too fast for an engagement.

That's how Barbara said it would happen.

Well, maybe Barbara's wrong.

You ever think about that?

It's kind of weird, psychics.

All these demonic-looking cards.

You flip them over,
there's somebody's stabbing themself,

but that's a good thing.

Flip it over again, somebody's smiling,
but that's a bad thing.

- Uh...
- [mutters indistinctly]

Look, regardless of how I feel
about psychics,

where I'm at right now,

I'm certainly not ready
for an engagement-type commitment.

Well, you are just a small child

in the body of a beautiful man.

[Mo sighs]

You know what? [clears throat]

Take your damn ring back.

[sniffles]

It's not my ring.

That's the whole point.

[Hameed] You f*cked up everything, bro.

You heard all that?

Of course. I'm sitting here. I can hear.

Bro, marriage, brothers,
one big happy family,

pfft, everything gone now, bro.

I'm so sorry, bro.

[tsks] Bro, you have to get the f*ck out
of my house.

It's so late. Can I just sleep
on the couch and leave tomorrow?

No, no, that's the thing,

you have to get the f*ck out
of my house now.

I'm very sorry, man,
I have to scream at you right now also.

Okay.

[shouts] You betray my family,
and you disrespect me!

[softly] I have to add a little bit, okay?

- [shouts] I never wanna see you again!
- [softly] What?

[softly] I'm gonna see you
tomorrow, Inshallah.

[Mo] Inshallah.

[shouts] Austin is better without you!

You're a f*cking refugee again!

[softly] I'm sorry, bro.

I'm hoping you and Austin
will come back together. I see it, bro.

But you have to get the f*ck out
of my house now.

This f*cking ring.

[groovy music playing]

[keys jangling]

[in Arabic] Peace be upon you, Mama.

And mercy and blessings
be upon you, my dear.

[in English] Moving back in already,
ya mama?

Just for the night.

Habibi, there is no shame
in living with your family.

Who said there's any shame in it?

[Yusra sighs]

I just need a little privacy
for a little bit.

[Yusra] Look at what the settlers
are doing.

Our family is there,
my sisters, your aunts.

- [in Arabic] Your aunts in Palestine.
- What's wrong with my aunts?

- [in English] They're okay?
- They're okay, mama, but I'm afraid.

I'm worried about them.

Look at the other people,
what's happening to them.

Mama, I know.

Um... [grunts]

You gotta just take a break.

Please.

I've seen the videos, Mama, 24/7.

This is not good for the heart.

I know.

[Mo sighs]

- Tell me.
- What?

What happened with Hameed?
Why you're back?

Oh, nothing. I accidentally got engaged
and divorced on the same day.

- And he has an insane amount of g*ns.
- Seriously?

But really savvy and creative
in how he keeps them.

He has a clock with Glocks.
That's what happened with Hameed.

And I'm pretty sure a grenade.

I don't know if it's real or not,
but that doesn't matter.

Tell me. Tell me. How was your day?

Not good. [exhales]

What's wrong, Mama?

Buddy's selling the farm.

[Buddy] Look, son,
it ain't nothing personal.

It's just time for me to hang up my spurs.

What are you gonna do?

You're just gonna fiddle
with your fiddle over there,

Fiddler Buddy?

Well, why the hell not?
I like fiddling with my fiddle.

You got dirt in your veins.

All right, you leave this place,
you're gonna lose your mind.

They're gonna call you Sleepy Buddy.

Oh, horseshit, I'm fit as a fiddle.

- See, you're starting to repeat words.
- You put that word in my head.

How can you sell the farm to strangers?

Buddy, it's been in your family
for generations.

Mo, I don't have any family.

The only family I've got
is a nephew in Los Angeles.

And I can't leave this place
to that goofy son of a b*tch.

- Why?
- Last time I seen him,

he had four different colors of hair
and was wearing a g*dd*mn leather harness.

- He's not a farm guy.
- Look, son, I like you. I really do.

But I like money more.

I don't got a pension, none of that.

And I gotta eat.

You expect me to just shovel horseshit
out here the rest of my life?

No. [sighs]

Tell you what.

What if I get you 70% of the sale price?
Would that do it?

All right, you're twisting my arm,

but I could do that, I suppose.

All right. What am I looking at?

Just north of $4 million.

[sucks teeth] Yeah, I can't do that.

Yeah. Look, Mo,

let me see if I can set a meeting
with the new owners.

See if you can make a deal with them,
keep 1947 up and running.

Man, now we're talking,
we're thinking, we're working it out.

I like this. I like this.

Um...

Well, what are they like?

What's their deal?

Tell you the truth,
I ain't got a f*cking clue.

- You never met them?
- Oh, I met them.

I just don't understand them.

[Mo] All right.

[horse neighs]

[calming music playing]

[stationery clatters]

Don't-- Wait. Don't come in.

- What are you doing back there?
- I'm doing nothing.

- I'm trying to clean up my room.
- Want me to help you pick that up?

- No. I can clean up my room later.
- Okay.

What?

Listen, I need to look at your SMART plan.

- Now you wanna see my plan?
- Come on, don't be like that.

I'm meeting the people
who bought the farm.

I could save the business.

Okay.

Never thought you'd ask, Hamoodi.

My God!

Phew! [chuckles]

It's...

[laughs] Yeah.

There's diagrams. Listen...

[smacks lips]

Can you just give me the CliffsNotes
or the highlights?

Broad strokes.

What broad strokes?
I thought I was... I thought...

Shouldn't I just do the presentation?

Yes, sure, sure. Sure. Sure.

Yep. Yep.

Well, when's the meeting?

It's tomorrow.

Oh, I'm actually supposed to meet
Nadia's friend tomorrow.

Nadia's taking you to meet
one of her friends!

- Yeah.
- Oh my God!

- That's amazing!
- Yeah.

- You can't miss that!
- Yeah.

I should have looked at this before I...

Thank you, really.

I'm gonna make you proud, I promise.

Okay.

My best friend.

[mutters indistinctly]

You sure you don't wanna give me
the CliffsNotes?

[Mo sighs] They don't have
an elevator here?

Jeez! [tsks]

- [Yusra sighs]
- [Mo groans softly]

How much longer
do you have to wear that thing?

I don't know, Mama.

Lizzie's working on it.

I like Lizzie.

Even though she says Sameer and I
shouldn't go to Palestine, I like her.

Oh, I'm worried too.

Especially without me.

Why?

Why? You know why.

Sameer, soldiers, checkpoints--

Hi. I'm Monica.
I'm so sorry to keep you waiting.

Can I offer either of you
a hemp-infused hydration boost?

Hemp... Hemp inf...

[Mo chuckles] Uh...

Can I have a Dr. Pepper?

[laughs] You're hilarious.

Right this way, please.

[pleasant music playing]

Attica's incredible, trust me.

She's been a friend of mine
since my freshman year at Rice.

What am I supposed to talk to her about?

Anything you want.

Say all the things you feel like
you can't say to other people.

Like what?

- Hi, Sameer.
- Hi.

- I'm Attica.
- Hi.

I just finished reviewing
your intake forms

that you had Nadia fill out.

[in Arabic] What have you told her?

No, nothing.

[in English] Just family history.

- Right?
- [Attica] Mm-hmm.

Sameer, would you feel more comfortable
if we did this alone?

Without Nadia?

Uh-- Oh.

Yeah, okay.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Okay. Good.

I'll be right out there.

[door opens]

- [door closes]
- So how do you feel, Sameer?

Do you know what brings you here today?

Nadia drove me here.

Great.

I'm curious to know
have you ever heard of autism?

No.

It's a neurodevelopmental disability.

I specialize in it.

Oh, okay.

I'd like to ask you some questions.

And try to answer as best you can.

Is that okay?

Yeah.

I read in your forms

that you got fired
from your job at Chick'n Cone.

Could you tell me
a little bit more about that?

[suspenseful music playing]

Uh...

Yeah. It wa...

It was just a... a misunderstanding.

Why did you lock yourself in the bathroom?

I'm guessing something
must have made you pretty upset?

Uh...

No.

Uh, in the bathroom, ah...

It's okay if you don't remember.

What feelings are coming up
for you right now?

Currently, we're operating
at a modest scale.

However, we do intend on scaling up,

uh, both regionally and nationally,

over the next five years.

But the oil is about more than money.

This oil is our identity.

Our family planted olive trees
in Palestine for generations.

It's in our blood.

Houston is home,

and Palestine is our homeland,

but the oil we make here
is what ties them together.

You see, it's beyond than just business.

You are so mother.

- I have three children, yes.
- [man chuckles]

You're so adorbs.

I can't even take it.

Weren't we talking about this
the other day?

I mean, it's uncanny.

I have goosebumps. Feel my arm.

No, that's okay.
I don't want an HR situation.

Hold on. You guys were talking
about Palestine during lunch?

[man] What? No.

We were talking about things
people like to post.

Representation,
women-of-color-owned businesses,

that kind of thing.

It's super important.

[all laugh]

You two should meet Jared, our CEO.

Oh my God, yes. So why don't we all
circle back on Tuesday,

grab some face-to-face with Jared,
and make it official.

- [chuckling]
- Okay.

Well, we have our numbers ready.
I was coming in here like Shark Tank.

- Call me Mr. Wonderful!
- [Mo] Mr. Wonderful!

No, I'd be Daymond because I'm Black.

[Mo] Oh, yes. Yeah.

I mean, we're not so concerned
with "numbers" here.

Our key drivers
are passion and authenticity.

Honestly, your whole vibe, it's a slay.

What is "slay"?

Uh, it means we're cool. Yeah.

Ah, cool. Cool

[in Arabic] Enough!

[Sameer exhales]

And sometimes I feel like
I don't like myself.

Why not?

Bec... [sighs]

Um...

Because people, they, uh...

People don't under... understand me, uh...

And I... I feel like, uh...

[inhales sharply]

Um... [mutters indistinctly]

It's... [sighs]

It's diff... It's diff...

- Uh...
- Are you having difficulty describing it?

Yeah. And...

That is definitely common in people
who are autistic.

Uh, I... I don't have that disorder.

In your forms, it says that

when you were younger,
your parents took you to the doctor.

And they did identify several traits
that do meet criteria for autism.

No.

Why...

Why... Why would they hide... hide it from me
all... all those years?

I wouldn't know.

Honestly, my... my biggest concern is you.

Autism is not a bad thing.

And I'd be glad to answer
any questions you might have.

[Sameer groans softly]

[softly] I don't want to be different.

[Sameer breathing shakily]

[laughs sadly]

[crying] I... I don't want to be different.

[sobbing]

I just want to be like everybody else.

I guess it feels like I'm always making...

I'm always making people uncomfortable.

Uh, like everything about me
makes people uncomfortable.

What? Like what?

What makes others uncomfortable with you?

Everything.

Why don't we take a moment?

What sensations are you feeling
in your body?

[Sameer sighs]

Tension.

- Tension?
- Yeah.

Where?

Uh, in my throat.

Okay. Good.

Is there a place on your body
that feels relaxed?

Yeah, my toes.

- Your toes?
- Yeah.

Wiggle them.

[laughs]

[Attica] Yeah.

- Now take that feeling.
- Yeah?

See if you can make that relaxed feeling
go into your throat and in your arms.

Okay.

Try and apply that same feeling
to calm your body down.

Take a deep breath.

[inhales deeply]

- [exhales]
- [Sameer exhales]

[sniffles]

It just feels like I'm...

Um, feels like I'm not...

- Enough.
- Yeah.

- You feel like you're not enough?
- Yeah.

[breathes deeply]

Well, I have news, my friend.

I'm different.

You're different.

And there is nothing wrong
with either of us.

[gentle music playing]

[music fades]

Guys, thank you so much
for the hospitality. Toya.

I'm just so excited to be with you guys!

Shh! You gonna wake my son.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
You won't even notice I'm here.

And I got you a gift.

Couple of gifts, actually.

I got you, uh,

an authentic bootleg Gucci scarf.

- Has wonderful stitching on it.
- Ooh!

I'm gonna throw in
this Chanel bootleg too. It's incredible.

- Authentic bootleg. Just what I wanted.
- [Mo] Yes.

I'm just gonna put this in here, right?

I wanna get these out of the way.
Oh, sorry.

I'll fold it right.
I'm much neater, I swear to God.

You got two bags.

I thought he was staying one night.

That's what he said.

This... This bag is just merch.

- Sorry. [chuckles]
- [Toya] Okay.

Yeah. Is this where I'm sleeping?
Is this my new home now?

Hey. Oh!

And you laid out the blankets for me.

That's so sweet.

I'm gonna take it for a little test spin.

[loudly] Oh my God, this couch is amazing!

[baby crying]

Are you serious?

- Oh, the baby's up. Let me help out.
- [Nick] No, no.

- [Mo] I'll help out.
- He's just playing.

- Go take care of the baby.
- Where are the baby wipes? Tell me.

- [baby continues crying]
- What?

If you don't stop,
you're going to get us both kicked out.

I'm just trying to be nice.

Don't.

I'm just happy to see you.

[Nick] Stop.

[doorknob rattles]

Sameer, are you okay?

[in Arabic] What's going on, my dear?

[door closes]

[in English] What's wrong?
He didn't like it at your friend's house?

Um, I took him to see my friend, Attica,

who's the therapist I told you about.

- Ya, Nadia!
- The one I took Osama...

I told you not to take him.

I know. But he really needs this.

- No! No!
- I think it went really well.

He has a family.

Family is therapy.

Mama, family's why you go to therapy.

- You think it's my fault?
- No.

He needs to go and talk to people
because I did something wrong?

Nadia, look at the doctors, what they do.
They like to medicate people.

- Mama.
- They pump drugs into them.

No one is medicating him.
I'd never take him to that kind of doctor.

I don't want that for him.

They had a conversation.
What do you have against talking?

You're trying to put ideas in his mind
that he's not good enough like the others.

Mama--

You're doing what kids did to him
in school when he was young.

No one is doing that.
That's not how therapy works.

They're trying to help him
understand himself better. That's it.

You think I'm blind?

You think I'm stupid?

- I know he's different.
- No.

He is my son, and I know him
better than anybody else!

Go, now.

Go!

[in Arabic] Nadia,
I can't look at you right now.

Leave now before I become furious!

Enough!

[in English]
You know he's 40 years old.

[Yusra in Arabic] Get lost!

[grunts]

[mutters indistinctly]

[guitar music playing]

sh*t.

Psst. Psst.

[whispers] Are you crazy?

Son of a b*tch steals my falafel tacos,
and you're saving his leftovers?

- You are a traitor.
- [Toya] Mo?

Get out!

- He stole my invention.
- Oh my God. I can't--

No, you gotta talk about it!
You can't walk away. You know he did.

You switch pita with tortilla.

It's not your invention.

You know he saw my signature dish,
here at your house,

and he put it on his menu.

You're not a chef.

- You don't need a degree to be a cook.
- Yeah, it's called culinary school.

You go there, get a degree,

become a chef,
then you get a signature dish.

Bun B has Trill Burger.
Selena Gomez has a cooking show.

Snoop is cooking with Martha Stewart.
Give me a break.

- [Nick] Hold on.
- What?

Did you put my mom's picture down?

Yes. Everywhere I'd walk,
she stared at me.

It's too much.

And don't try to change the subject.

You betrayed me.

How could you do this to me?

I'm already under heat
for you crashing on my couch.

Oh, I'm so sorry.
This is inconveniencing to you?

- Oh, here he goes.
- Your oldest friend at your home?

This is what gets you in trouble?
This is the big inconvenience?

Mo, you barged into my room,

on me and my pregnant girlfriend,

to talk about your stupid tacos.

Relax on the tacos.

- It's the principle, okay?
- [sighs]

You know, seeing those falafel tacos
that are not mine is very triggering.

He's doing it to piss me off.

Mo, if he did that, it's working.
Look at you.

You know what? I gotta go talk to him.

No, no, no. Please.

Mo, why are you putting on your shoes?

Don't do that. Relax.

I am relaxed.

You sound like Macho Man Randy Savage.

I'm just gonna talk to him, man-to-man.

- Man-to-man never ends well.
- Get out of my way.

- Get out of my way.
- All right. All right.

[shouts] Thank you, Toya!

- [baby crying]
- I appreciate it!

Why?

[sighs]

[engine revving]

[Mo] f*ck.

Piece of sh*t.

- Thanks for your patience. Appreciate it.
- No problem.

- Get out of my way. Sorry.
- All right, let's see.

Sir, there is a line.

I'm not here for that. I'm here for Guy.

Are you a friend?

Tell him Mohammed's here. We're cousins.

- Cousins?
- Oh yeah.

Yeah, both of our uncles,
Isaac and Ishmael.

We go way, way back.

Okay. I'm sorry.
Clearly, I'm incredibly busy right now.

- Go ahead and wait by the oyster bar.
- Thanks

[Mo mutters indistinctly]

[receptionist] I am so sorry.

[lounge music playing]

[suspenseful music playing]

[music intensifies]

[loud expl*si*n]

[drum roll]

[microphone feedback]

In this corner,

the Refugee Rumbler,

the mean machine from Palestine.

Say hola, habibi, to Houston's very own,

[in Spanish] The Palestinian Bear!

[grunts]

[in English] And in this corner,
the ocean-eyed Jew.

The real deal from Israel.

Shalom, m*therf*ckers.

It's the Zion Lion.

You looking for me?

- [in Arabic] f*ck you.
- No, f*ck you!

[in English] First, I take your land.

- Then I take your food.
- Ooh!

And in the name of Zion,
I take your vulgar hand gestures too.

- Ooh!
- [bell dings]

[both grunting]

[groans]

[grunts]

[Mo grunts]

[Guy groans]

[Mo] Zion Lion, my a*s.

More like Zion kitty cat.

[purring, meowing]

[Guy] Excuse me.

Hey, Mo.

[in singsong] Hello.

You, uh, got something to say to me?

Explain yourself.

Falafel taco, so what?

- You know.
- Know what?

Damn it. You know who you got those from.

Oh. What?

You think I stole the falafel tacos
from you?

Are you for real?

- 1947?
- What?

Using my family's olive oil
for your shitty food?

- [Guy] That's yours?
- You got Lebanese, Lebanese, Palestinian!

You got baklava, which is Turkish.

You got quiche. Who are you?

- Please don't make a scene.
- Guy, who are you?

I know what you are. You're a damn fraud.

Aren't you?
There's no such thing as Israeli food.

[man] I thought
this was a Mediterranean restaurant.

It is. It is a Mediterranean restaurant.

See? He's embarrassed
to even say it's Israeli.

What are you trying to hide, Guy?

Just respecting the food's regional roots.

Roots. I'll tell you about roots.

You know that big-a*s wall
that they have in Israel?

You know what's behind the wall?
That's where the recipes come from.

- They're my grandma's recipes.
- [monitor beeps]

- f*ck!
- [man] What's that?

He's got a b*mb! I'm calling the cops!

- Everyone calm down. It's not a b*mb.
- [Mo] It's an ankle bracelet!

- It's not a b*mb.
- [woman] I'm calling the cops.

- Goddammit.
- Thanks, Karen. Trying to get me arrested?

Go back to eating your shitty hummus.

What did he say about Hamas?

- [Guy] No. He didn't say--
- Oh God!

Just because an Arab guy
comes in here with a beard

and his ankle starts going off,

doesn't mean he's gonna blow up
the f*cking place!

Oh my God.

And I sure in hell
wouldn't waste it on this guy!

Sorry.

Or any guy.

Very-- Very important to note
that I would never, ever do that.

[patrons murmuring]

I was just deported.

Um...

[voice breaking] I gotta go charge
my ankle bracelet.

[softly] f*ck.

If he deported, why the hell he here?

Sorry, folks. Mimosas on the house.

- [man] Mimosas?
- [Guy sighs]

[man] Man, this whole meal
gonna be comped.

Is there a plug outside?

- Uh, there might be.
- Never mind.

- [monitor beeping]
- What?

I'm so sorry.

[slow music playing]

[Yusra] Hamoodi, mama. Mama, are you good?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm good.

Just can't believe we're gonna
be doing business with these people.

As long as we keep pressing our oil,
I'm happy.

- [Monica] Hi, folks.
- Hi.

Right this way.

Daymond John, my man.

It's Felix.

Felix. Yeah, of course.

Felix.

Monica.

Um, so where's Jared?

We've run into a bit of a hiccup
since our last conversation.

How so?

Our investors get a little squeamish
wading through certain controversies.

It's a PR nightmare.

I'm not following.

Oh, y'all haven't seen it?

Seen what?

[female voice]
Palestinian blasts Israeli restaurant.

...going off, doesn't mean
he's gonna blow up the place!

[woman] He's got a b*mb!
I'm calling the cops!

[Mo] I sure in hell
wouldn't waste it on this guy!

[Felix] It's trending on TikTok.

There's literally an "Angry Mo" challenge.

It wasn't me.

There's three more videos
with different angles.

It wasn't me.

[Felix] Okay, Shaggy,

I need you and your mother respectfully
to make your way to the elevator.

[Mo] Of course there's an elevator.

["Lord Forgive Me" playing]

♪ Lord, forgive me
Lord, forgive me ♪

♪ Lord, forgive me
Lord, forgive me ♪

♪ Lord, forgive me
I've been puttin' in work ♪

♪ Lord, forgive me
I was doin' that dirt ♪

♪ Lord, forgive me
I put a hole in his shirt ♪

♪ Lord, forgive me
He was on the wrong turf ♪

♪ Lord, forgive me
I had a p*stol at church ♪

♪ Lord, forgive me
Been cursed since birth ♪

♪ Lord, forgive me
Tryna figure my worth ♪

♪ Tryna do better, can't get no worse ♪

♪ What I done wrong, I done right ♪

♪ It's my darkness in your sunshine ♪

♪ What I done wrong, I done right ♪

♪ It's my darkness in your sunshine ♪

♪ Look, before I spit a hallelujah
I might need a hearse ♪

♪ 'Cause I ain't finna let nobody
Hoe me out here ♪

♪ My pockets on Buddha ♪

- ♪ Fat ♪
- ♪ Church ♪

♪ But demons still gotta pay
The toll 'round here ♪

♪ Big GL*CK
Keep heavy metal like Kid Rock ♪

♪ Barrel of the SIG hot
sh**t 'til my wrist lock ♪

♪ If the opposition make a pit stop
By the drip drop ♪

♪ Get popped
While some KIDZ BOP's playin' ♪

♪ Yeah, on my daughters
Know that this ain't only talk ♪

♪ My only thought
Is how to make a choppa ♪

♪ Make an oppa skate from 'round this hoe
Like Tony Hawk ♪

♪ Yeah, tell Skateboard P this a buffet ♪

[song fades]