02x04 - Has All My Measurements Memorized

[bunniefuu]

[panting]

[HANAOKA]
All right, the results are in.

For the school's
cultural festival

this year, our class
will be serving up

Russian Roulette Takoyaki!

[applause]

CASINO, HAUNTED HOUSE

Score!

- Yeah.
- I dig it.

Samesies, sis.

We only have two
weeks to prepare.

So focus, find
your strengths fast,

and be sure to work as a team.

[STUDENTS]
Yes, ma'am.

Special request
for the men of our class.

I ask that you handle
the physical labor

of the interior designs.

[STUDENTS]
Yes, ma'am.

[HANAOKA] I'll open
the doors a little early,

so you can get in some
work before homeroom.

You can also come
in at lunch or after school.

If you stay beyond the window
of time we're allowed,

you will cost our team
precious points.

I guess we better
play by the rules.

So if we can lose these
points, can we gain them?

We're awarded 1
point per customer,

and our points
determine our rank.

[STUDENTS]
Huh?

If we fail
to follow the rules,

points will be subtracted
from our total.

So you'll really have
to use your heads if you

want to bring home the gold.



I didn't realize
they were ranking us!

That just means we
have to come in first.

Everybody else is toast!

They can choke
on our takoyaki.

They're so motivated!

The joys of teaching.

Please, class, quiet down.

The festival is two days long
and the main event on day 2

will be a beauty pageant.

Wait, really?

I didn't know
our school did that!

I think of it as our yearly
dose of glamour and charm.

It's always a highlight.

Whoever places first in the
pageant wins special points

and could very well lead
their class to victory.

[TAKERU]
Hold up, only first?

- That's correct.
[KENSEI] Brutal!

If it's victory that we're
after, Kitagawa is our girl.

For real?

Of course, he's for real.

You're like a literal model.

[KAREN] Let's get
you a pageant gown.

[CLASSMATE 1] I want to see
her dressed all pretty.

[CLASSMATE 2]
Do it, Marin.

[TEACHER] Before you decide,
the theme this year is drag.

So I'm afraid the ball
gown idea won't work.

If you choose Kitagawa
as your candidate,

she'll have to dress as a boy.

Like crossplay?

Why I got to dress up as one
of my faves at school?

I'm begging you guys,
please let me compete in this!

I promise I won't let you down!

[KASHIWAGI] We already
made it clear that you

should compete for us.

I guess, but what if some
other cutie wants in?

Hana-chan! I just have
to look like a guy, right?

Could I dress up
as a character?

- There's no rule against it.
- Dub!

[NOWA] What's your nerd
brain cooking up now?

Let me ponder. Dude duds.

[gasps] I got to do
Rei-sama from PrezHost.

THE STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT
IS THE NO. 1 HOST

[STUDENTS]
Rei-sama from PrezHost?

[CLASSMATE 3]
Rei-sama?

You mean mommy?

[WAKANA] They all
know PrezHost?

It must be popular.

I've never watched it,
but chicks go crazy

for the live action version.

Heck, yeah! My mom and sis
would k*ll for the himbo harem.

The show rocks.

The dudes are smoking,
but the lead actress

is the most popular because
she's stupidly talented.

[TAKERU]
Wow. Nice.

I think PrezHostis MICO's
greatest performance ever!

She just radiated cool.

I love the manga
and the anime,

but I guess I got
to watch the drama too.

So, which of Rei's outfits
are you going to cosplay?

[CLASSMATE 3]
Maybe the suit?

[RUNE]
Totes the suit.

[MARIN]
No, duh!

But as for the exact
moment, it's

got to be the bento
scene after she gets

off work at the host club.

That part just hits the feel
so hard, it hurts me!

That scene is too powerful!

You're also a PrezHost
fan, Murakami?

Yeah, sure.

My sister's favorite idol
plays one of the hosts

in the live action.

She had it on,
so I watched it with her.

That bento scene crushed
my freaking soul.

It's so emo it
should be ill*gal!

I'm with you!

If Marin cosplays the bento
scene, we'll win for sure.

Must be a touching story.

[CLASSMATE 4]
Yes!

She's the coolest ever!

Well, have we officially
decided Kitagawa

will be our candidate?

[NOWA] Totes magoats!

- Kitagawa?
- Yeah?

[HANAOKA] There are
two key components

you'll need to focus on.

The first is the costume.

The second is putting
on a performance

to charm the audience!

[MARIN]
I need some deets.

You'll each put
on a brief show,

with your goal being to win
the student council's hearts.

And keep in mind, you'll
be trying to charm

members of your own sex.

You'll need creativity,
cuteness, and all the charisma

you can muster!

Cool!

We're going
to score hella points

with our god-tier takoyaki!

It's up to you to kick
this beauty pageant's butt!

This is my freaking
forte, right?

Gojo!

It's time to study
up on PrezHost.

Gojo?

[classmates murmuring]

What am I missing here?

Gojo makes all
Marin's cosplays.

Epic, huh?
[CLASSMATE 5] Those fits rule!

[CLASSMATE 6] I didn't realize
you were so talented, Gojo!

[WAKANA]
They're, they're all staring!

Yeah!

The other classes
are dead meat.

[STUDETNS]
Dead meat!

[TEACHER] Hush,
please calm down!

[singing in Japanese]

♪ ♪

EPISODE 16: HAS ALL
MY MEASUREMENTS MEMORIZED

[gasping]

Oh, no!

If I don't hurry, I'll be
late for classroom duties.

[panting]

Huh?

[soft music]

Excuse me?

Did something happen to you?

[exhales] I'm fine.

I've just been busy
dealing with patrons.

[stomach rumbling]

I haven't had any time to eat.

Well, I'm not going to stand
here and let you starve.

I know it might not
be to your taste,

but you're welcome
to have my lunch.

Uh, thank you.

I've got to run.

I'm sorry.

Hey, come back!

♪ ♪

[bells ringing]

You didn't bring
lunch today, Koyomi?

What's going on?

I had a surprisingly
eventful morning.

You're going
to need to fill me in.

It's Rei-sama.

She's as beautiful as ever.

[KOYOMI] Who is she?

She's our student council
president, Rei Kogami.

She's gorgeous, gets amazing
grades, and excels in sports!

Not only is she
perfect, but she's kind.

She's so awesome,
she has an official fan club.

Gosh, you may have
just transferred,

but I'm shocked
you didn't know.

She's so dignified
like a queen.

What a beautiful person.

[warm music]

♪ ♪

Koyomi?

Koyomi? Hello?

We need to get ready for PE,
so we should probably head.

[KOYOMI]

I'm on classroom duty. ♪ ♪

[Pa system notification]

[WOMAN] Will
the following please report

to the student council office?

Koyomi Mishima of class 1-C.

I messed up already?

But what did I do?

This isn't a great
first impression.

[light knocking]

You wanted to see me?

[exhales deeply]

[REI]
Koyomi.

[gasps]

[REI] Thank you
for this morning.

I so appreciate your help.

Your bento was delicious.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

Truth is, both
my parents passed away.

My older brother works
as a host to make ends meet.

I went by his job
to drop something off.

They were desperate
for more hosts,

so they threw me
in a wig in a suit.

Now, I work there part-time.

You saw me,
so I thought you should know.

But I ask that you
keep it between us.

She-- she--
she's unbelievable!

Not only is she the beloved
student council President Rei,

she's the number 1 employee
at the Rainbow Rose Host Club--

the handsome Ray!

Ignore those other guys.

Only look at me.

Forget about Ray.

I'm right here.

Come sit on my lap,
little kitten.

You're my girl now.

Best not forget it.

The tension between
you and I is undeniable.

Tell them who's your daddy.

How could a regular
girl end up part

of a host club love heptagon?

What in the world is going
to happen to me next?

[upbeat music]

THE STUDENT COUNCIL PRESIDENT
IS THE NO. 1 HOST

Amazing job at work today.

I made this if you're hungry.

[REI]
Thanks so much.

Sweet of you to think of me.

A lot of other girls will put
trendy spins on their bentos.

But your cooking is just so--

It's so dull, isn't it?

I'm sorry.

I've seen them--
those super cute

bentos you get from
the girls in your fan club.

[REI] Koyomi, what
are you saying?

[KOYOMI] You're used
to eating high quality

food at fancy restaurants
with your patrons.

Rei has to be nice
to everyone she meets.

Being friendly is
part of her job.

Just because she's
kind to me doesn't

mean I'm special to her.

I can't believe I was foolish
enough to get the wrong idea.

[REI] Your bentos are classic.

They remind me of what
my mother used to make.

It puts me at ease.

Between school
and work, I'm always

so tense, always on edge.

But once I finally clock out
and get to spend time with her,

all my worries melt away.

We've gotten so close because
you know that I'm a host.

But it's because I'm
a host that you

won't believe me no matter
what I say or how I feel.

[crying]

[WAKANA]
Rei-sama.

[MARIN]
I know, right?

It totally wrecks your heart.

Now, do you understand why
everyone falls for her?

[GOJO] Yeah. It really makes
me want Rei to find happiness.

Yeah, exactly!

I really appreciate the fact
that Rei isn't just cool

because she's pretty,
but because she

understands how women feel
and supports them as well.

For sure.

She can be assertive at times,
but she's never pushy.

Like she never forces
champagne onto anyone!

Also, isn't Ray's ace, Tsumugi,
just the absolute best?

Better tell Koyomi to watch
out because this chick

is stone cold.

Yeah, I agree.

To Koyomi,
she's a romantic rival,

but then she turns around
and sticks up for Koyomi

when it counts!

That's enough!

So you're attacking the sweet
young girl to spite Ray.

If you truly hate
Ray so much, climb

the ranks as revenge instead.

To hell with that!

She had the audacity
to lie about being a man

so she could become
the number 1 host.

All of Ray's
patrons are perfectly

aware that she's a woman.

And even so, they
come to see her.

Ray does not show us lies.

She shows us dreams--
dreams so beautiful

that ideas like sex and gender
cease to matter.

Ray's who we want, who we need
in a world full of miserable

men like the three of you.

If it means I can
help Ray shine,

I couldn't care less
if I'm not the star.

In order to remain
at Ray's side,

I'll continue to be her ace.

That's my greatest
satisfaction.

You could say Tokiko Tsumugi
is the manlier of the two

with that speech of hers.

I couldn't agree more.

OK, for this one,
we're going to need

to make a complete outfit
like a three-piece suit.

For the makeup, I want to
express an androgynous beauty.

We'll need to slim
up your face a bit,

as well as thicken
your eyebrows

a touch without
going overboard.

Finally, we'll make your eyes
pop by using reserved colors.

Okily dokily!

Also--

[MARIN]
The rainbow rose.

A flower shop perhaps has one.
- For sure.

It's just that depending
on which shop you go to,

an actual rainbow rose
could probably run you

around a thousand yen apiece.

That much for one rose?

How about this?

We get an artificial
rose for cheap,

and we spray paint
it to be rainbow.

Oh, sweet.

Also, isn't Rei super tall?

We can use insoles
and boost my height.

It's perfect.

And the fabric we
used for Neon's corset

would be amazeballs.

It's got total number 1
host vibes, don't you think?

If she were a normal
number 1 host,

I would have
considered using it.

It would totally pop, right?
Wait, wha?

While it's an elegant
fabric, that's for sure,

I don't think it's quite right
for the number 1 host, Ray,

you know?

I mean, sure, Rei-sama stands
out because of her looks.

But in reality,
she's pretty reserved.

She only became student
council president and a host

because she was asked to.

She didn't seek
it out on her own.

So for the suit
fabric, I don't think

going flashy is quite the right
direction-- not here at least.

So true, bestie.

Although the club owner
does get on her case a lot

about dressing more
like a number 1 host.

So I definitely think embossing
the shirt is the right way

to go for this cosplay.
- Mm-hmm.

[WAKANA] Looking
at the designs from the series

got me curious about how all
of the suits look so slim fit.

At first, I thought
that was just

how they were depicted
in shojo manga,

but they're trimmed differently
from business suits.

It's supposed to make
the wearer look cooler.

Oh, is that true?

Your curves will
be obvious, though,

so it might be kind
of difficult to replicate

a straighter,
manlier body type.

Ah, gotcha.

I promise I'll
still do everything

in my power to make it work.

But the thing is,
your waist is pretty thin.

So there's a chance you
wouldn't make a convincing guy.

Then, again--

[MARIN] Of course,
I guess it makes sense.

With all the cosplays
we've done together,

Gojo has all
my measurements memorized.

That's a little bit--

So what's your opinion on it?

Wait, what now?

Oh, yeah, we've so got this.

There's still two weeks
till the cultural festival.

- Oh, well, uh.
- Hm?

[WAKANA] Since you're the one
entering the beauty pageant,

you'll be able to spend
all of your time

working on your outfit.

But I'm on interior design duty
and will likely be pretty busy.

Oh.

So if I can only work
on this after interior design,

I'll have even less time
than I did with Shizuku-chan.

[whimpers] So this is going
to be rough, huh?

[footsteps]

[MARIN] Hey.
[WAKANDA] Huh?

About the Rei cosplay, I'll
put it together myself, OK?

SEWING PRACTICE ROOM

All right, easy enough.

I'll just head out
and grab all of this.

If you don't know what
something is, just call me.

Also, while you're
there, talk to Mr. Usami.

He'll definitely be
able to help you out.

Gotcha!

I'll draft up instructions

on how to make the outfit.

But Kitagawa,
will you really be OK?

Yeah, it'll be no biggie.

I can absolutely
pull this off, so

don't you worry about a thing.

[GOJO]
I'm worrying.

[MARIN] Usually,
shopping is a ton of fun

because it means I'm getting
ready for another cosplay.

But...

without Gojo around,
I'm freaking out.

I have to make sure
I don't buy the wrong stuff.

I'm winning first place,
so I've got to work hard!

[GOJO]
Worst-case scenario,

I just work day 1
of the cultural festival

and somehow make it
to the beauty pageant on day 2.

I'll need to do the interior
design, the instructions

for the outfit, and--

PRACTICE DRAWING
HINA DOLL FACES

GRAMPS'S BACK PAIN,
CHORES

That'll be OK if I just believe
I can do it except I have

to manage my time properly.

So that I don't end up
burdening anybody else.

[students chattering]

OK, listen up.

[door slams open]

Gojo, is something wrong?

What are you doing here?

I thought I'd help
with interior design.

Huh? Really?

Dude, we got all that covered.

You need to make
the pageant outfit, right?

Huh?

Bro, I'm the one who's
confused right now.

Aren't you making
Kitagawa's outfit?

That's what I thought too.

Did I misremember?

- I thought so too.
- I guess we were wrong.

[CLASSMATE 1] He always
makes her cosplays, though.

[CLASSMATE 2]
Yeah.

Oh, wait a sec.

Were you planning
on doing both since Hana

asked you guys to help out

with the interior design?

Come on, man!

I mean, an extra pair
of hands would be awesome,

but you're not some
kind of superhuman.

Don't overdo it.

The strange man has a point.

None of us think
making an outfit is easy.

You don't have time to spare.

Just leave it to us.

I can try to do both.

Seriously? That's amazing!
You're the best.

Hey!

Gojo, be honest.

You know doing both would
wear you out, right?

Just say so.

Yeah.

See?

So just leave it
to us, OK, bro?

But you've actually
got to speak up.

I mean, if you say it's fine,
this guy will take it at face

value because he's stupid.

Ouch, but he's right.

You just focus
on the cosplay,

and we'll take care
of everything here.

Let's all get first
place together.

And then that leaves us,
who pretty much can't

help anyone with any of it.

I know, right?

I feel like I would immediately

screw up the sewing machine.

You're basically
a god for even knowing

how to work a sewing machine.

All this because I know
how to use a sewing machine?

Remember when we
made aprons as kids?

I wanted to die.

I couldn't figure
the sewing machine out.

Whoa, you're on team
doofus with me?

Basically, we should
all be doing our best

to support each other.

Remember what Hana-chan said?

You're the only one who
can make the outfit, Gojo.

[RUNE]
She's right!

[KASHIWAGI] But we
might need some help

carrying the heavier pieces,

so we'll count on you then.

Right.

So if you find
you're too busy,

it's totally fine to say no.

By the way, where's Marin?

Oh, she's out
buying materials.

[STUDENTS]
What?

You left that up to Marin?

[KENSEI]
No way!

We're screwed, man!

[screaming]

OK.

[KENSEI]
Gojo!

For real, though,
we're counting on you.

Do your best, dude!

Yeah, you got it!

[upbeat music]

[phone ringing]

[MARIN]
Gojo?

What's up?

[GOJO] Kitagawa,
where are you right now?

[MARIN] Right now, I'm
almost to the station.

[GOJO]
Got it.

Wait right there, all right?

I'll go with you.

Hello, Wakana.

You're pretty chipper today.

Did something happen?

Nope, not at all.

I'm totally the same as usual.

Hm?

[USAMI] Making
a host suit, huh?

[GOJO] For this, I'm thinking
of fabric without a pattern,

but something with a little
bit of glossy finish to it.

It's probably quite
similar to a suit

you'd wear to a party.

In that case,
how about this matte satin?

It looks high class, but in
an elegant,

understated kind of way.

Wow, it's gorgeous.

Wow!

This is seriously on point!

We have a few options here,
but I warn you,

none of them are cheap.

I've been working
my butt off at my job,

so we'll be totally fine.

It got to be that one.

It's just too perfect.

[laughs]

Sure thing.

Oh my gosh!

It has Rei-sama
written all over it.

I think you're
right about that.

[MARIN] It's not too fancy,
but it's still shiny.

It captures the PrezHost
vibe for sure.

[USAMI] I hope your outfit
turns out great.

[theme music]

[singing in Japanese]

♪ ♪

[WAKANA]
Next time!

EPISODE 17: 800 MILLION

[upbeat music]