02x05 - 800 Million

[bunniefuu]

[KAORU]
I see, you're making

an outfit
for your school's contest.

Going with the suit?
- Mm.

We're going to be working
on this one as a team.

We're a team when we
make Hina dolls, too.

It helps to split the workload.

It's not a solo gig?

Well, the tasks are
typically divided.

LET'S MAKE HINA DOLLS
LET'S LEARN THINGS

Head, clothes,
hands, props, hair.

And a different
artisan puts together

all the finishing touches.

At our shop, it takes
approximately 10 people

to complete one Hina doll.

Whoa! That's a whole squad!

Multiple artists often work
together on the same face.

Each feature is its own job.

That's seriously wild stuff.

So, like, how
many Hina dolls do

you apply makeup to in a day?

Usually, it's around


[gasps]

Stop. You're kidding, right?

On busy days,
we'll do even more than that.

Painting those teeny-tiny
faces looks so impossible.

I would have guessed you guys
only knock out, like, 10 or so

when you're super locked in.

Only 10?

[laughter]

We would never make
our shipping deadlines.

[MARIN] I wasn't really going
for funny.[laughs awkwardly]

[KAORU] The only reason
we're able to do it

is because we
have lots of help.

Specialized work like this
isn't the sort of thing

you can do on your own.

It'll drive you nuts.

It may be easy
to lend a friend a hand,

but the ability to ask
for help when you need it

is a tricky skill to cultivate.

[sips] We must learn
to rely on those around us.

[WAKANA]
Right.

[MARIN]
Your girl needs seconds!

Mm.

[KAORU]
If you're booked up

until the festival is over,

I could do your laundry
to save you some time.

[WAKANA] That's OK.

I don't want you
to hurt your back again.

[KAORU] I'm fine.

The doctor said
it's as good as new.

[WAKANA]
I'm almost certain they didn't.

[rice cooker beeping steadily]

[KAORU]
Oh, what do you know?

Huh?

[beeping continues]

[Spira Spica, "Ao To Kirameki"]

[singing in Japanese]

♪ ♪

[light music]

EPISODE 17
"800 MILLION"

[keys jingling]

[footsteps departing]

[birds chirping]

[footsteps pattering]

AN ANDROGYNOUS ELEGANCE

[grim tone]

Happy morning, Gojo!

Happy morning, Kitagawa.

[yawns]

[WAKANA]
Get enough sleep?

Yeah. I'm good.

Just had an early
start, is all.

I wanted to help, so I made
you a little bento or whatever.

[WAKANA gasps]

[guitar music]

You buy lunch
at the school store, yeah?

It's always crowded.

So to save you some time,
I made a little snacky for you.

[WAKANA]
Wow, such determination!

If Kitagawa is cooking, I know
what that means-- fried rice.

SORRY

I'd at least like
to know which kind.

It's a nice gesture,
but I could

be in for a world of hurt.

Say, I would love
to know what you made.

Well, until we get
to lunchtime, that's secret.

TEHEHE

[croaks]

[MARIN]
Come hungry, K?

K.

[suspenseful music,
clock ticking]

♪ ♪

[door sliding]

And just like that,
lunchtime had arrived.

[MARIN] The line for the store
was literal madness.

[unzipping]

Yes.

[MARIN]
To be totes transparent,

this is my first attempt
at making a bento.

[breathing in]

I'm low-key freaking
out right now.

[WAKANA]
That makes two of us.

♪ ♪

It's a little funky,
but please don't laugh.

[suspenseful music building]

♪ ♪

[imitating celebratory horns]
Ta-da!

A spam onigiri sando!

[congratulatory music]

[WAKANA] So it's not
fried rice surprise?

[MARIN] I wanted something
you could eat quickly,

so I landed on this bad boy.

Awesome!

It looks super delicious!

I'm-- I'm sorry
I was being so weird.

Just thinking about
the bento you made me,

my heart felt like it was
going to beat out of my chest!

Thank you so much!

♪ ♪

[MARIN] His heart felt like it
was beating out of his chest?

That means he was
mega happy, right?

All that over my bento?

Ah-ha-ha!

I could literally die!

This is a total
surprise attack.

Way unfair, dude!

I love you so much.
I love you too much!

Every day I love you even more,
and it's gonna make me explode!

Almighty bento,
thank you for this gift.

Uh, Kitagawa?

So happy you're excited!

I worked my literal
butt cheeks off!

But I'll make you
another one tomorrow.

It doesn't even matter!
- Huh?

You still gotta try it.

Here.

[WAKANA]
Thank you so mu--

[mysterious music]

Huh?

Hold on.

Why is it so heavy?

♪ ♪

[funky music]

♪ ♪

[door sliding]

[MARIN]
Hey, lunch buddy.

I slayed yesterday so hard
I decided to cook some more.

[unzipping]

Marin Spam Onigiri 2.0!

♪ ♪

[door sliding]

[gasps]

Today's menu...

karaage skewers!

[unzipping]

[door sliding]

I worked hard today.

Meaty rice goodness.

♪ ♪

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

This buri daikon is b*mb!

I have to agree.

The mackerel miso you made us
yesterday was incredible, too.

So are you on some kind
of fish cooking kick right now?

You could say that.

[MARIN]
Hmm?

♪ ♪

I need seconds.

[KAORU] I'm always
impressed with you, Marin.

You have such
a healthy appetite.

[MARIN laughs] This
belly never takes a break.

Hey, could I get you
seconds, too, Grandpa?

[KAORU]
Sure. Thank you.

[MARIN]
You got it.


THE CULTURAL FESTIVAL

[background chatter]

Here are the official deets.

The drag kings
will perform first,

followed by the drag queens.

You'll have one minute
to charm the audience.

[NOWA] A minute? So short!

[MARIN] I mean, every
single class participates.

If I want to charm
them as Rei-sama--

Just do the champ call.

[gasping]

CHAMP CALL:
SHORT FOR "CHAMPAGNE CALL"

[GIRLS
Ooh. [giggling]

[bright music]

♪ ♪

[HOST] ♪ The hottest
host is back again ♪

♪ Back with all his sexy men ♪

♪ Any host here,
yell loud and proud ♪

♪ Let's get them hyped
Let's slay this crowd ♪

♪ Tie your necktie
nice and tight ♪

♪ 'Cuz host boys
working hard tonight ♪

♪ Go find your princess,
take her hand ♪

♪ Get her so hot that
she can't stand ♪

♪ Treat her like a queen ♪

♪ Treat her like a toy ♪

♪ Her heart is yours to play ♪

[RUNE]
It's way longer than I thought.

We're going to have to shorten
the heck out of this thing.

Cut the parts that
mention champagne.

[NOWA]
So no getting crunk?

This is for a high school
festival, not a real club.

Too bad.

Hmm.

WWRD?

STRIVE TO BE THE NO. 1

If I were Rei-sama,
I'd do this part.

Hmm?

♪ ♪

You could do the call and
response with boys from class.

Yes!

That.

I love it!

Genius call.

This is straight fire!

Mm-hmm.

[MARIN] Let's replicate the
lighting from the host club.

[NOWA] We are
so freaking smart!

[RUNE] I'm getting
so hyped up for this!

I can't wait to see
Marin as Rei-sama!

[DAIA giggles]
You're so obsessed with Rei.

It's kind of creepy.

[RUNE]
Of course I am.

She makes you feel
like a princess.

If only someone could
treat me like that.

The bento scene k*lled me.

[MARIN]
Yeah, same here.

After all that time,
she shows Koyomi her true self!

If a mysterious hottie revealed
herself to me, of all people,

I would fold like a lawn chair!

Did you pick up
on the fact that

it's the only time Rei-sama
ever asks anyone for anything?

Will you make another?

I melt when she asks Koyomi
to make her another bento

because it reminds
her of her mom!

I wish Rei would ask
me to do something!

The emotion of that
scene makes Volume 14

the best volume ever!

The day I got it,
I read it 20 times.

And talking about it
again now makes me

want to be Rei-sama even more!

I just can't wait to see
that moment come to life.

[WAKANA]
Being special in the eyes

of someone everyone loves--
I get it.

Of course they like
the bento scene.

I do, too.

It's perfect.

[gasps]

You love that
scene, too, Gojo?

Sorry for eavesdropping!

Your fave character
is Tsumugi, isn't it?

Uh, yeah.

[RUNE] Nice. So you
watched the entire anime?

[DAIA]
That's quite a big feat.

[RUNE] Isn't the bento
scene just the greatest?

[WAKANA]
De-- definitely.

But it took you talking about
it for me to realize how

amazing Rei-sama really is.

I guess I don't understand
exactly how girls feel

or exactly what shojo--

[NOWA]
You're in too deep.

Even for us girls,

it can be hard
to relate to those

princess-type characters.

That makes sense.

Their lives are
pretty far removed

from what we experience
in the real world.

[gasps]

[jaunty piano music]

Uh--

Hello there.

I'm Marin.

It's a pleasure.

[chuckles]

Uh--

[MARIN] Is this
your first time, Princess?

I'm pretty certain
I'm not a princess.

[MARIN] I'm helping you
relate to Koyomi, goober.

[squealing]

[stammering]

[MARIN] Can you handle
your liquor, Princess?

I've never had any,
so I have no way of knowing.

- Let's find out.
- [whimpering]

I'm drinking champagne.

[squeals] You're a pro!

She's way too pushy.

[twinkling]

Don't forget about me, Marin.

Come on.

I came all the way here
because I missed you.

Fine.

How much can you spend?

[NOWA]
I'm sorry.

I don't have much
today, only 800 million.

Will that do?

[WAKANA]
I'd hope so!

And how much cash does
my princess over here

have to spend on me?

[whimpering softly]
[GIRLS] Champagne!

Champagne!
Champagne!

Champagne!
[SHIKI] Gojo.

[GIRLS] Champagne!
Champagne!

Champagne! Champagne!

Champagne!
[SHIKI] Got a second, man?

[GIRLS]
Champagne! Champagne!

Of course.
[GIRLS] Champagne!

Is there something
I can help you with?

[GIRLS]
Champagne!

Yeah, we need a hand.

Think you can help bring
this giant sign inside?

[WAKANA] Mm. Mm-hmm.
[SHIKI] Cool.

The interior design team
wants to nail down a menu.

[NOWA]
OK.

[RUNE] Coming!
[DAIA] Uh-huh.

[RUNE] Nowa, your hair
looks really cute like that.

It should be your go-to style.

[NOWA]
For reals?

[DAIA gasps] Should we
get fancy for the pageant?

[NOWA]
Yes, and also, duh.

[light music]

♪ ♪

[gasps]

Hey there.

Yeah? What's up?

[WAKANA]
Not much.

They just want to practice
the champagne call,

so they need you
in the classroom.

Great. Sounds epic.

I'll head there now.

[whimpers]

[exaggerated laugh]
Bye-bye!

Sorry.

I promise I'll fix it
right after this, OK?

[WAKANA]
Huh?

Please, leave it!

[footsteps departing]

Champagne!

Champagne! Champagne!

Champagne!
Champagne!

Champagne! Champagne!

[WAKANA] Looks like Kitagawa
tried to sew on a button.

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

She messed it up.

[pensive music]

Huh?

♪ ♪



[WAKANA] Tomorrow, I'm going
to have her try on her outfit.

Since suits are new to me,
I hope that everything fits OK.

Other people pull them off.

SURPASSING THE GENDER WALL
AND EXPRESSING YOUR OWN WORLD

Looking through these again,
I wonder how so many women

achieve that masculine look.

Last time I worked
on a crossplay,

this magazine gave me makeup
and body shaping tips.

But there's something
I'm missing.

All of these people must know
something that I don't yet.

What is it?

Finding out could be
the key to Rei-sama.

[rain pattering]

[MARIN] It says all
that I have to do

is line my breasts up with
the cups, fasten the hooks,

and smooth everything out.

Slowly lift up, holding the
center of the front and back.

Lift over your hips.

FLAT BUTT & CHEST MAKERS
COLOR:BEIGE, SIZE:M

[lighthearted music]

What the hell?

Sorcery!

These babies are
literally magical!

Your girl has gone pancake!

[DAIA]
This is intense, Marin.

I never thought about how
much work cosplay takes.

[RUNE] Don't you get
sweaty and tired?

[MARIN] My passion for these
characters and the desire

to be them outweighs
all that junk.

But this dude stuff is a lot.

I didn't know until I tried.

[chuckles]

[footsteps pattering]

♪ ♪

[gasping]

♪ ♪

The verdict is-- yay!

[giggles]

[KENSEI]
The quality is crazy!

[DAIA]
You just became Rei-sama.

I even watched parts
of the sewing process,

and I'm still totally floored!

It's kind of scary how
awesome you are at this, Gojo.

[RUNE]
You're so tall!

The insoles are
working overtime!

That fabric is to die for.

Usami actually
picked it out for us.

Huh?

So, uh, please be honest.

We're not done yet.

The suit's too big, isn't it?

[MARIN]
Huh?

I didn't think so.

Pardon me.

[MARIN]
Pardoned.

[WAKANA] I'm pretty sure
it should fit like this.

Ooh!

[MARIN, RUNE] That totally
captures Rei-sama's essence!

[RUNE] It's a tiny tweak, but
it makes all the difference!

[WAKANA gasps]

Oh.

I didn't account
for any shapewear

when I first sized the suit.

Huh?

Hmm?

I messed up.

I'll fix it.

[ALL]
Huh?

Well, if I leave it,
then it won't be accurate.

Are you sure you
have time for all that?

I swear I'll get it
done before the pageant.

Okie-doke.

Mm.

You're really redoing it?

Mm-hmm.

[KENSEI]
It's so damn good!

What a waste!

Gojo, so you're fixing
the top and the bottoms?

[KENSEI]
Madness!

Before that,
I'd like to try something.

[MARIN]
Then try away.

[WAKANA] No matter how perfect
your facial expressions are,

they'll be hard
to see from far away.

And in the interview section,

you won't be able
to hold the same face.

You'll have the suit
and the makeup,

but there's one
other thing I'd like

you to try to look
more masculine.

I think it could really
help sell the character.

The whole time Himeno
was in cosplay,

he held himself like a woman.

It may seem trivial,
but the way you act

will change how
everyone sees you.

[MARIN]
You're right.

Amane was totes a girl.

Question-- who's
this Amane person?

[DAIA, RUNE]
So cute!

[squealing]

[MARIN]
College student Amane Himeno.

Whoa! Please, Kitagawa,
introduce me, like, right now!

I can, but just so you
know, he's a dude.

My life is over!

Get a grip.

[RUNE]
I've never seen someone get

their heart broken that fast.

[MARIN]
I need to be more manly, right?

Uh, yeah.

Man me up.

[KAORU] We must learn
to rely on those around us.

[gasps]

[soft music]

♪ ♪

Huh?

Morita, uh, the way you
move is so confident and cool.

It's masculine
without even trying.

If you could, I'd appreciate
it if you'd help her out.

Hmm?

Kitagawa, you are my pupil now!

Welcome to the school
of being manly and cool!

[groans] You are so annoying!

[WAKANA]
No fighting, team.

Please lighten up, you two.

[KENSEI]
Like this?

[WAKANA] Keep your feet
shoulder width apart,

and point
your toes out a little.

Stand up straight,
stick out your chest slightly,

and tuck in your chin.

[MARIN]
How's this?

You're so cool!

You instantly turned
into a guy from the neck down.

[KENSEI]
I'm a good teacher.

[MARIN]
Eat my suit.

[TAKERU]
Whoa!

So the fit is all done!

You're a damn genius.

[MARIN]
Gojo is a sewing wizard.

Shazam!

Here.

These are from Hana-chan.

[MARIN]
Arigato, Takeru-kun.

[WAKANA]
Thank you.

Murakami,
get in here already.

He's been waiting to come
see you for a while.

Shut up, you dumbass!

Don't tell them that!

Dude, what's your problem?

I was trying to be chill.

They might think I'm a creep
for liking the series.

It's embarrassing enough that
you guys heard me nerd out

over the drama the other day.

That isn't something you
should be embarrassed about.

Oh--

So it's normal?

Yeah, of course.

It's the kind of show

that has something
for everybody.

As for your nerding
out, that just means

you built a strong connection.

I mean, I watched
the drama, too.

Yeah, but you weren't
holding the remote.

MORITA HIERARCHY: GRANDMA]
MOM]SISTERS]DOG]DAD & KENSEI

Maybe you're right.

I mean...

screw it.

Sorry, but can
I get a quick picture?

I want to tell my sister that
my friend made Rei's suit.

Major bragging rights.

Uh, yeah.

I'd be honored.

[MURAKAMI]
Thanks, man.

[DAIA] Marin, do that sick
pose you just mastered.

[MARIN]
Roger!

[MURAKAMI]
Whoa.

This is crazy.

You are Rei-sama in the flesh!

[camera shutter clicks]

My mind is blown.

Thanks, Kitagawa!

How dare you cut off my head!

No question that
you're hardcore, bro.

[DAIA] While you're here,
check out all the details.

[MURAKAMI]
Maybe I need one more picture.

[Piki, "Kawaii Kaiwai"]

[singing in Japanese]

♪ ♪

[DAIA, RUNE, NOWA]
Next time.

EPISODE 18:
I'LL MAKE IT HAPPEN,

NO MATTER WHAT
WITH THESE TWO HANDS

[bright music]