02x09 - The Wicked Switch of the West

[bunniefuu]

Tonight, a Karen
telling us we can't film her.

It's Isabella Roland!

Don't, don't! Don't, don't film this!

Don't film this! No, no!

I'm calling 911! My
brother's on the force!

A time traveler
whose machine just worked,

it's Brennan Lee Mulligan!

[Brennan mimics inhaling
and exhaling through device]

My word, the future!

And a clicker from "The
Last of Us," it's Erika Ishii!

I don't like it.

Oh god!

They're all here to...

Make! Some! Noise!

Welcome to "Make Some Noise,"

the game so good we spun it off unchanged.

I am your host, Sam Reich.
Here's how the show works.

I have here a series of
improvisational prompts

our players have never seen before.

Isn't that right, players?

- We won't know-
- Don't Brennan. Do not-

We won't know if we haven't
seen them until we see them!

- I saw them.
- You did?

Yeah. I saw them all.

They will, to the best of their ability,

fulfill these prompts.

I will award them corresponding points,

and the winner will go home
with the coveted Golden Ear,

which is f*cking sick as sh*t.

Wait, they have a
two out of three chance

of going home with it!
- That's true.

That's true, Erika. Well mathed.

But I have a secret apartment
that I have affairs in.

So I can bring it there.

We don't have an Ear for that apartment.

First off, an amuse-bouche, if you will,

something to whet the palate.

Izzy.
- Mm-hmm.

The one Jew in Whoville.

Hello!

Hello near, hello far.

To any ear, to any heart,

does anybody have saline?

My nose is stuffy! My ears are muffly!

My chest is huffy and puffy!

Some eyedrops, too.

And also to any of you from the Jewy Who.

Izzy, that
was f*cking spectacular.

I am going to burn.

- Listen, we're allowed-
- We don't believe in hell.

Exactly, we don't believe in hell.

Yeah, that's a great point.

Let's say eight crazy points for you.

- Okay.
- How's that?

Brennan, a dom DM.

Get on your knees.

So you got a three.

Um, okay, so you try to get on your knees.

And you get really close

and you sort of stumble
at the last minute,

but actually, give me a performance check

to see if you can recover.

A one.

You open your mouth
like a good little girl.

And actually, I want you to
give me a constitution save

so you can resist the
little whips and chains.

That's right, you do have
three levels of exhaustion,

so you will be rolling with disadvantage.

Okay, you only take...

Yeah, you take two points
of damage, and it feels...

You had two hit points left.

Banana, banana, banana, banana.

I like that a lot, Brennan.

I think it was "good little girl"

that sent Erika to the edge.
- That sent Erika

into whatever this fugue
state is over here.

That's right.

Let's say a safe word
amount of points for you.

Erika.
- Mm.

Five different types of VO death scream.

You got your standard sword.

Oh!

There is electricity.

That's pretty good!

You're on fire.

Ah, ah,

She's a professional.

- A bear.
- Okay, okay.

It's good. Hey, let's just be cool.

Oh, Jesus Christ!

And of course your classic
falling from a great height.

They fade it in post.

That is very good, Erika.

I mean, I think we gotta say

at least an after minimum
amount of points for you.

- Mm!
- However much that is.

Izzy.
- Ah?

Why this version
of "Jurassic Park..."

- Okay.
- Is going to work.

I-I know.

I know, okay?

But listen, we've got an idea...

Where we give them edibles.

We'll give the dinosaurs
edibles, right, okay?

Do you understand how much
money this makes, okay?

You give a...

You give-a give-a, give-a...

They give a, they give a...

They give the dinosaurs a bunch of weed!

Dr. Malcolm, won't
that make them hungrier?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no!

No, no, no, no, no!

Not hungry, you just got uh,
uh, uh, you got crafts, crafty.

Craft services! Anyway!

And hey, popemobiles for everybody.

Big case.

So this is Dr. Malcolm?

This is the Jeff Goldblum character?

It is Dr. Malcolm.

I can't...

Whether or not this is a
Jeff Goldblum impression,

I love it.

It also felt like why this version

of "Jurassic Park" is going to work

and why it needs to work
in the next 20 minutes.

This person is definitely

paying off gambling debt as well.

They're gonna take my hands!

Izzy, you were so busy earning points

you forgot to ask yourself why you should.

I literally thought
you were about to say,

"You didn't say, 'Um,
actually,'" and I was gonna sh*t-

Whoo!

- Brennan.
- Mm-hmm.

Another lesser-known entrance to Narnia.

The hell?

There's a leak in the
f*cking roof of the cave.

Oh
sh*t! A f*cking Earth kid!

Oh d*ck! Oh sh*t!

Oh, welcome to Narnia. I'm f*cking Gump.

Hold on.

Oh sh*t!

Oh, I'm naked. My d*ck's out, sorry.

Let me get my little robe
and my hat with a bell on.

Hey.

Are you Mr. Tumnus?

f*ck you! No!

I mean, welcome to Narnia.

You probably let your a*s
touch the water of the toilet

in the old house outside of London.

Your parents are dead 'cause
of World w*r II, right?

- Yeah.
- Is that what's?

Yeah, bummer.
- Of course.

Well, so when your a*s, if
you don't put the seat down

and you go in the middle of the night,

your a*s touched the water,
you get sucked to Narnia.

I will cut you off there.

Holy sh*t!
- f*cking Gump!

It's rare that you sit
your whole a*s in the water.

Yeah, sure, yeah, but if you do,

you might have a magical
adventure to explore.

There you go.

A Turkish delight
amount of points for you.

Fun fact,

a friend of mine used to
refer to her vag*na as Narnia.

No!

I thought you were
gonna say Turkish delight.

Oh, I thought you were
gonna say Turkish delight!

I thought she was gonna say Turkish-

And I thought you were gonna say Gump.

Erika.
- Mm.

A voice you can't take seriously

delivers a pivotal monologue.

My fellow citizens!

We will fight them on the shores.

We will fight them in the hills!

But mark my words, we will
not stop until every one

of those pigs has left our native soil!

Join me in a righteous fight!

Hip-hip-huzzah! Hip-hip-huzzah!

I would follow this character anywhere.

This character is Wallace Shawn.

It's 100% Vizzini from
"The Princess Bride."



Yeah, a charge amount
of points for you, Erika.

Izzy.
- Mm-hmm.

The leader of a cult tries
to return some robes.

Hi, I would like to make a return.

I have the receipt.

Little wet.

And the stains were there already.

Um, if you could give it
back to me in store vouchers

Um, if you could give it
back to me in store vouchers

or a couple years subscription
to my new self-help course.

or a couple years subscription
to my new self-help course.

So you take all these back.

And you buy this book

and come live with me in
Albany for three years.

I will cut you off there,
Izzy. What are the stains?

- c*m and blood.
- There you go.

- You didn't have to ask.
- Yeah.

A level seven worth of points for you.

Brennan.

- Sauron-
- Oh my god.

- Stop!
- But it's Donald Trump.

His Trump, no...

Wait, does he have a Donald Trump?

Look,
these people are

tiny little freaks, okay.

They don't wear shoes. They're
smoking crack, perhaps.

And they live in holes
in the ground, people.

Hey, you see a round door
with a knob in the middle.

Where does it go? To the side?

How does the knob in the middle
of the door open the door?

Folks, we're gonna have
a beautiful all-black,

all-black tower.

Choke the world in smoke, okay?

We're gonna have Balrogs.

Every Orc in Mordor

is gonna have a Balrog
protecting you, okay?

And these people...

And they say Denethor, by the
way, people don't know this.

Not a real king. Not
the real king of Gondor.

Let's make Isengard great again!

Yes, we're going to make
Middle Earth great again, folks.

Listen, people don't understand.

I'll tell you this right now.
If you ever see Denethor...

And I call him Little Tomato.

Because if you've ever
seen this guy eat tomatoes,

what a freak, what a freaky, freaky guy.

We're gonna have so much poison smoke,

by the end you're gonna be...

The Age of the Orc?

You're gonna be tired of
the Age of the Orc, okay?

We have nine Nazgûl flying on their horses

drowned in a river.

Very nasty Elf-Man Elrond.

Very nasty Elf made a river come to life

with horses to drown.

Who drowns a horse? Beautiful horse.

These horses, expensive.

Expensive, the most expensive
horses you've ever seen.

But I said, no-

Brennan, I've got...

I mean, I think you could go
on for forever. Holy sh*t.

I mean, I am so deep down
glad that I did not know

that you had that impression
in you until this moment.

I make him do it all the time.

I worked at CollegeHumor
during the Trump presidency.

Yes.

And didn't tell anyone
about that because it was so-

- You didn't wanna do it.
- Didn't wanna do it.

It's definitely unfunny-
- Of course not.

And now that we're a few years out...

Yeah, a precious amount
of points for you, Brennan.

- Oh!
- Love it.

- Erika.
- Mm?

Last prompt of round one.

The wicked switch of the West.

Give me your shoes.

You're gonna get down on your knees

and you're gonna put them onto

my feet.

That's right, nice and slow.

Yeah, yeah, you want me to
click them together don't you?

Yeah, you'd like that, you
dirty little farm girl.

Okay, all right, all
right. Now it's my turn.

Okay, yeah. It's different.

- Okay.
- Yeah, different...

Different, yeah, mm-hmm.

Pweez, daddy, can I please have a heart.

Or like, if you have
extra bwains for me. UwU!

I don't know.

I could absolutely use
some courwage and stuff.

I promise that I'll be a
good little witch for it.

Ah.
- Yes!

I thought we were
talking about the Game Boy!

Mamma mia!

Holding your own up here,
Erika. Un-f*cking-believable.

There's no place like home
amount of points for you.

Yes.

That brings us to our first minigame.

This is a minigame that we
like to call Name That Sword.

Simple rules, players.

I am going to show you a sword,

and you buzz in and name that
sword for me a la Excalibur.

This isn't fair for me.

These are not swords that
exist in the real world.

You will be giving it a creative name.

- Okay.
- Oh.

Paul, can I have the
first sword, please?

Brennan.

Flaccion.

That's pretty good,
Brennan. I like that a lot.

Izzy.

Meltatandra.

Ooh, epic.

- The blacksmith's shame.
- Erika.

I like that a lot, too.

I think I'm gonna give this
one to Izzy for Meltatandra.

I like that, Izzy. Next sword.

Erika.

Sweet Icebreaker.

Oh, that's good.

Sweet Icebreaker is very good.

Izzy.

Lickety-Split Your Skull, b*tch.

I like that a lot, too.

Brennan.

Freezer Burn: The Dairy Blade.

Oh, I like that. God,
these are all great options.

I think that is gonna go to Erika.

Well done, Erika.
- Hey!

Next sword, Paul.

Izzy.

Underpass Glory.

Brennan.

- Trash Fire.
- Trash Fire is good.

Erika.

The Refusal of the Call.

I do think that point is
gonna go to Erika as well.

Bravo, Erika.
- Thank you.

Next sword please, Paul.

- Hope you're hungry.
- Oh?

Brennan.

The Dragonslayer Cake.

That's pretty good, Brennan.

Frostingmorn.

God, these are great!

Izzy.

Is It Sword: A Netflix Show.

I think that point
is gonna go to Brennan.

Bravo, Brennan.

Brennan, how many swords do you have?

- One.
- Uh...

- Sorry.
- It's fine, you are wrong.

I have more than one.
- Where?

The apartment where he has his affairs.

My affairs apartment is just where I go

and keep my swords.

That's all it is.

I need you to deliver
another sword. Don't tell Izzy!

Don't tell my wife!

Next sword please, Paul.

Hehe.

Izzy.

An Olive's Friend.

It came out of
you almost involuntarily.

That sounded like you were announcing

the SNL musical guest.

- An Olive's Friend.
- An Olive's Friend.

Izzy.

Toothpick of Destiny.

- Yeah, I mean, that's good.
- Wow!

Izzy!

It Gets Bigger I Swear.

I like that a lot, Izzy.

Wow, three great options
from Isabella. I mean-

Brennan.

'Caliboo!

Sorry, one more time.

'Caliboo!

That's, I mean, yeah.
No pressure, Erika.

Needle.

Yeah, very appropriate.

I think that point is gonna go to Izzy

for It Gets Bigger I Swear.

Hope you're hungry part two.

Pizza.

There's
more! Is it really made?

If it's really made of
pizza, I'm going to eat it.

Erika.

The Slice-er.

Oh yeah, of course.

- Ooh!
- Oh yeah!

Brennan.

Excalzoneibur.

Yeah, that's good.

Izzy.

Death by Tony Soprano.

Oh, yeah!

I think that one's gotta
go with Brennan, g*ng.

- Oh, my...
- Excalzoneibur.

- Do you want a bite?
- Is it really? Oh my god!

Is it biteable?

I just saw someone shake their head no.

Yes, it is. It's safe.

Oh, oh Paul.

Last sword of our minigame, Paul.

Who is this handsome man?

- Hey guys.
- That is so good.

Brennan.

Ouch-O Marx.

I like that a lot!

Izzy.

Sesame Bleed.

Yeah, yeah, that works for me.

Yeah, that's Frank.

- Frank.
- Frank the Sword.

- That's Frank.
- Frank the Sword.

That's Frank.

You know, sorry g*ng,
I think that's Frank.

Yeah.

And I think that needs to go to Erika.

Round of applause for our
art team. I mean, holy-

- Oh my gosh!
- Incredible. So cool.

- Yeah.
- So, so cool.

Unbelievable!

That brings us to round
two where our players

will now test their
talents in teams of twos.

Izzy.
- Yeah.

- Brennan.
- Uh-huh.

A job interview with
the same arc in quality

as "Game of Thrones."

Oy vey.

I see we started with
you doing this exact job

straight out of college.
- Yeah.

For Kaiser Permanente,
which is obviously

one of the largest, you know,
healthcare service companies

in the country.
- Mm-hmm.

Two years at Anthem, which is amazing.

And it says here that you actually

had a team management position.

Oh yeah, yeah.

And then you had the sort
of senior vice president

over at Blue Cross Blue Shield.

And then in the last year
it says "Kickin' dogs."

Yeah, I just sort of thought that, um,

I would wrap things up pretty fast

because I knew that I
had another opportunity.

And I know that I could have
taken longer to, you know,

work on the career that I
had already established,

but I just decided that
I wanted to kick dogs.

Right, 'cause I noticed

that it was under the Blue
Cross Blue Shield heading.

Did Blue Cross know you
were "kickin' dogs"?

So I was getting paid no matter what

so I just decided to do whatever I wanted.

And that was...

Kick dogs in the face and body.

- Can I tell you something?
- Sure.

All of the world for
the past seven years

has been talking about how great

at healthcare management you are.

- Thank you. I-
- I would walk down the street

and see bars-
- I know.

- Having get-togethers-
- I know.

For people to talk about
how f*cking great you are.

Sort of got people

who weren't into healthcare
before into healthcare.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Gateway for a lot of people.

And then I just
thought I could kick dogs

in the face and body.

Yeah, you keep saying the face and body,

which is all of a dog.
- Yeah.

I will cut you off there.

- Oops.
- Oops.

Jesus Christ! Kickin' dogs.

Kickin'.

Like there was an apostrophe
at the end of the N.

Yes, you got my object work.

The resume had an apostrophe
and no G at the end.

Yeah.

Three spinoffs worth of
points for the both of you.

Wow.

Brennan and Erika.

Good Cop / Dryad Cop.

- What's Dryad?
- A Dryad is a creature from,

or a spirit from Greek mythology

that is a woman that is
the spirit of a tree.

- Cool.
- Thank you, Brennan.

Look, buddy.

We know it wasn't you, all right?

You're not gonna be in trouble.

We're just trying to
find out who did this.

Yeah, I used to be a full-a*s woman.

Then Pan came along and I was like, "No!"

Hey, hey, hey, hey, oh!

You want roots up there, buddy?

- Whoa!
- You want some foliage?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Calliope!
Come on, knock it off!

Listen, buddy.

Look, I wanna help you, okay.
I know you didn't do it.

My partner, she's got this thing

where when people vandalize
city trees, she goes crazy!

I'm not saying nothin'!

That pocket knife had your
fingerprints all over it!

Oh, oh, oh, oh!

Aw, I could shove an
acorn down her gullet!

Listen, the last thing I wanna see,

is for my mythological partner

to shove an acorn down your gullet, okay?

She hadn't read the law books.

She's from ancient Greece, okay?

I didn't leave my post by the Ionian Sea

to have to deal with scumbags like you!

So it's up to you. You
play it how you want.

You wanna wait around for
your lawyer to show up.

You don't wanna give us-

Oh, he's dead.

We can make it look like an
accident.

Ah, don't decompose the
body with your tree magic.

I will cut you off there.

The two of you!

Don't talk to the cops
without a lawyer present!

A mythological amount of
points for the both of you.

Erika and Izzy.

Oedipus's mom grounds
him for k*lling his dad.

Young man, you have
really pissed me off.

Oh, and you like that?

Don't!

Don't, okay!
- Come on, Ma.

Don't get, stop, stop, stop!

You're a little tense.
You're a little tense.

- Stop!
- All right, all right.

- I'm really pissed, okay?
- Okay.

Just because we're king and queen now.

Yeah, as is my right
as having married you.

Everybody's talking and they said,

"He's gonna k*ll his dad.

He's gonna f*ck his mom."

- Mom, come on!
- You gotta go.

You gotta go to your room
for a little bit. I have-

No, I am the king of this whole kingdom!

I have to seem like I have it together

a little bit, all right?

My reputation is riding on a thin line.

These PTA meetings, do you
know how they look at me?

Clytemnestra
would never do this.

I told you, if you bring them up...

They never have to
deal with this bullshit!

You get in that bed and
you take your clothes off.

And I'm gonna f*ck you.

God, you're the worst!

You wanna read me a bedtime story?

And cut. Yeah, fantastic.

A incestral amount of points?
- Love it.

Izzy and Brennan.

It's unclear if your neighbors
are swingers or cannibals.

Hi, so sorry. My wife and I noticed you.

And we were just wondering, like,

'cause it looks like you work out.

Do you...
- Do you eat?

- Like, what do you eat?
- What do you eat?

What do you eat?

What do you bench?

Would you say that you
eat a lot of shellfish?

- Shellfish or things...
- Or other things

that have a possibility for-
- White meat.

White meat or...

'Cause you look swole.

There's a lot of meat and...
- Yeah.

Do you get massage?

Like, would you say that
your muscles are very tender?

Do you like to f*ck
other people or do you eat?

I'm sorry.

- No, sweetie, don't-
- Okay, sorry, sorry.

I'm sorry, that was very...

My wife and I...

We've never done this before.

We're not a

traditional couple.
- Traditional couple.

- Um, we...
- We...

- Eat people.
- Oh.

We were dancing around it.

- We were dancing around it.
- Yeah.

A little bit of salt and
pepper amount of points

for the both of you.
- Mm!

Brennan and Erika.

Two nerdy teens trade bird cards.

- What are we doing, man?
- This is ruining our life.

So you don't want a grackle?

- You have a grackle?
- Mm-hmm.

What do you want for a grackle?

Scrub jay?

I don't know. They're
kinda basic but like...

Well, the only scrub
jay I have is holographic

so you're not getting my scrub.

Come on, this is first edition.

Oh, first edition-

You didn't even play this game!

It's an investment because these cards

are going to be worth a lot

when climate change kills all the birds!

Damn.

I have 20 roseate spoonbills.

Those are trash cards.
They're trash cards.

- They're not trash!
- They're trash cards.

They're from the Special Edition.

Hey, do either of you boys wanna f*ck?

I'm sorry, let me handle this.

By entering this room you hit a trip wire

that has already called the police.

How dare you come into Bird Club.

We talked to the principal,
and this is cordoned off.

And the last thing I
need is dirty, dirty sex

ruining my bird time!

Wow, I'm sorry.

I just really wanted to
have sex with both of you.

Well,
maybe if you had a grackle,

then we could talk.

I do.

Okay, I will either give
you 19 roseate spoonbills

or f*ck you one time.

I will cut you off there!

Incredible assist there, Izzy.
Love seeing that play out.

Yeah, let's say a m*rder of points.

A parliament of points.

- What's a parliament?
- Owls.

That's the coolest
thing I've ever heard.

- m*rder of crows.
- They make laws.

Last prompt of round
two. Izzy and Erika.

Mm.

A scene from George R. R.
Martin's yet-to-be-adapted

"A Bucket of Piss & sh*t."

Lady Toilet, I have brought my bannermen

to kneel at your grody feet.

I appreciate that, Lord Dinkleberry.

But unfortunately, my brother-husband

has already stormed the gates

of the outer Poopylands!

Lord Urinal Puck has done no such thing!

He has!

Well,
we must make great haste!

We shall forward the-
- Hold on!

Now drink my piss!

And be my bedfellow.

To the glory of Queen Toilet!

To my glory. I've poisoned you.

Oh...

That's right.

Avenge me!

M'lady, now that your enemy lies dead,

I wanted to remind you that it would take

only the smallest bit of effort

for you to become absolute
ruler of the Seven Queefdoms.

for you to become absolute
ruler of the Seven Queefdoms.

All you have to do is take a
big, old dump on the throne

and it shall be yours.

Well, I already have.

For real?

Is this what you wanted?

This is exactly what I
wanted! And this is exactly-

- You did it.
- 'Cause you said that.

- Yeah, I did this.
- You said that.

I did this, and it is
exactly what I wanted.

What? There's an earwig on set.

Let's say a six seasons
and a movie amount of points

for the three of you.
- Ooh.

It's time for your next minigame.

The minigame in question, it's a Toss Up.

This Toss Up will be taglines

for "The Real Housewives of Gotham City."

Mm-hmm.

First up, the Joker.

Brennan.

The only laugh I'll
be having is the last.

So catty.

Izzy.

Why so serious, c**t?

I like it a lot.

Erika.

White guys identify with
me a totally normal amount.

I think this one has
gotta go with Brennan.

Next up, Catwoman.

Brennan.

Cats don't like to swim,

but at this pool it's the summer of p*ssy.

Nice!

Izzy.

Cats have nine lives, and
I've spent eight of them

under the plastic surgery knife.

- Ooh!
- Ooh.

Izzy, I like that a lot. Very authentic.

She died eight times in surgery.

Erika.

Feeling frisky? Well, it's
time to bring out the claws.

Meow!
- Yes!

Oh my god, so true to a reality show!

Mm-hmm.

This is very tough. I think
this is gonna go for Izzy.

Next up, Penguin.

Brennan.

Penguins mate for life, and
my enemies need to get one.

Oh my god, that was so good.

See, you're doing this to yourself!

What? It's a fact about penguins!

- Yes, totally!
- They mate for life!

I honestly think, Brennan,
that you could like,

write these.
- That was so good.

Like if your career wasn't like,

well off and running already,

this could be a great side hustle.

Izzy.

I may live underground,
but I don't mean any shade.

Ooh!

What is happening?

These are really very good. My god!

Brennan.

I've got a g*n in my umbrella,

but you'll never rain on my parade.

Yes! I think I gotta
say Brennan for that one.

Last up, Two-Face.

Erika.

You don't wanna get on my bad side.

- Oh, hell yes!
- Oh wow, that's really good.

Yeah, there it is. There it is.

Hell yes. Izzy.

A lot of people say I'm two-faced,

but I actually have
five thanks to fillers.

Oh!

Yeah.
- Oh! Oh my god!

Yeah.

Brennan.

Just like quarters, there's
two sides to every story.

Yes, I see it, Brennan.

Erika.

One side's my good side,

and on the other side I'm a lawyer.

I like that a lot, Erika!

Yeah, I think that one goes to Erika.

Whoo!

That brings us to round three

where our players will now hold hands

and jump into the abyss together.

Oh!

Izzy, Brennan, Erika, "The
Great Gnomish Baking Show."

Uh, I've made a pudding
made of marigolds and smiles

presented to you in the
shape of my toadstool.

Butterflies.

It's raw.

It's raw, dear.
- Okay.

And see, along the bottom
here, that scrapes off.

When that scrapes off,

it turns into little twinkles of light?

Mm-hmm.

You want it to turn into a full illusion

of a smiling rabbit.
- Right.

What I do love is that you have included

a child's laughter in the fondant.

That's my son's. I bottled
it and I brought it here.

Well, you know, it's a lovely touch,

but it seems the time's
gotten away from you.

We'll just take a look
over here at your macarons.

These macarons are
made of a frog's kisses.

And um, they've got fairy dust on top.

I'm getting a little bit of
a sunshine and what is that?

Oh, this is a babbling brook.

A little babbling brook and also lemon?

And lemon.

For me that's bang on.

Oh my god! I told you.

I will cut you off
there! I liked that a lot!

Showstopper amount of
points for the three of you.

Wow.

Next up, senior superlatives
for your fellow cast.

Most likely to have buckles
where I've never seen before.

I have so many.

- So many buckles.
- And wears them well.

Most likely to cancel a dinner

and let me catch up on my shows.

I don't think I've ever canceled on you.

- No!
- Oh wait, that's not true.

One time you came to my house.
I just completely forgot.

That's very funny.

Most likely to talk sh*t

about every single person you know.

We love a self-aware queen.

Most likely to have an app.

What?

Most likely to have an app for whatever.

For literally whatever.

For literally whatever. Yeah.

For me being like,
"Oh, I've been kidnapped

and they're gonna drop me
in the Andes Mountains."

And you're like, "Well, I have an app for-

Oh, do you have like, Super Andes?

Sam is most likely to
try and convince you,

like, he's really
excited about a new thing

that you're in that's coming out.

But I am! But I actually am!

Most almonds eaten in a day.

Oh, for sure.

Most likely to say a word

I've never heard a human being say before.

- Because it's not real?
- Because it's not real.

Yeah.

Most likely to spend an
entire conversation silent

until the one funny thing
comes out of their mouth.

- Yeah.
- Aw.

Least likely to have
both feet on the ground.

Always. True.

Most likely to want
to watch TV at a time

that I really didn't think
you would want to watch TV,

and it's like, the best.

Oh, that's so nice!

Most likely to show
up on my TikTok feed.

Most likely to show up on my TikTok feed

without a TikTok account.

- Yes, there we go.
- Yeah.

Most likely to suggest in a
conversation that we zoom out.

Do you feel seen?

I feel got and seen at the same time!

But if we zoom out, I guess I feel both.

Most likely to win points, all of you.

Last prompt of our game.

- Yeah.
- Let's go. Here we go.

Gods debating what to watch on Godflix.

Behold, the realm of mortals revealed

within this looking glass atop
the heights of Mount Olympus.

All of the deeds and misdeeds

of humankind arrayed before us.

I've seen this one already!

What do you mean
you've seen this already?

We're watching it together.

I don't wanna watch it again!

I was looking forward
to this all millennia.

Well, yes, but Hephaestus and I decided

that we were gonna see it.

Like, you were out of
town and so we thought

we would want to, you know-
- And we finished it!

Then we finished it. I'm sorry.

Wow, okay.

Well, look, it looks like Egypt

is doing something
interesting this season.

- Mm.
- Mm.

It's not really gripping me.

Just give it two millennia, all right!

The first season was better!

I want to see something
I haven't seen before!

Go to New York City!

Hm!

A man masturbating on the subway!

See where he's going with this.

Oh, they just canceled it!

I can't believe they
keep canceling people

for jerking off on the subway.

This is ridiculous! What
are we supposed to watch?

Oh...

We could check out "Drag Race."

Did you see the last lip sync?

Wait, who was it? Who
was in the bottom two?

Anetra and Marcia Marcia Marcia.

Oh sh*t, okay. Would you
hate to watch it again?

No, I would actually love
to watch that one again.

- I'm in, too. I'm in, too.
- Great.

Looks like we're just gonna
put on "Drag Race" again.

And cut. Incredible!

Just when when I get invested,

they keep canceling man
masturbating on the subway.

It's fascinating.

Like, if they aren't gonna
do more than one season.

- Yeah.
- Why do 'em at all?

There are so many unanswered questions

from the first season of
man masturbating on subway.

Like, what's he masturbating to?

Exactly.

Yeah, a Lip Sync For
Your Life amount of points

for the three of you.

That brings us to the end of our show.

Our winner this eve...

Izzy Roland.

Izzy, you are the recipient
of the coveted Golden Ear.

I'd like to thank god.

That does it for us
here at "Make Some Noise."

Tune in next time for
more of the Game Samer.

I'm Sam Reich, and that
sounds pretty good to me.

Good night.