01x02 - Swan Song

[bunniefuu]

[Kristen] Previously
on American Classic...

Raves. Can you believe it?

- Except for The New York Times.
- Even The Times.

[Richard] He hasn't liked me
in ten years.

He said I was the anchor.

Like an anchor,

dragging the whole thing down.

You unnatural hag!

[objects clattering]

The producers
are putting you on hiatus.

[Jon] Mom's dead.

- Who's this?
- Your brother.

The only person that cares
about is himself. You know that.

I will deal with him.

[Kristen] Keep him
away from the theater.

[Richard] Dad!

- I'm g*y.
- Oh.

Uncle Richard?

Have you been to the theater?

♪ No one can resist
My matzo ba*ls ♪

[man] Yeah!

♪ It's the matzo, matzo ♪

♪ Matzo man ♪

[orchestral jazz playing]

[Richard]
It was a nightmare.

People were yelling
for gravy and potatoes

and more Brussels sprouts
and peas,

and they thought
I was a waiter.

I've never even played a waiter.

Not staying
for your mother's funeral

because of a matinee of nonsense
is overreacting.

I'm not overreacting.

Everything I loved is gone.

You just have
to get through this.

Do I?
I don't think I do.

Coffee.

Get me out of here
and get me back on stage.

I don't care how you do it.

We've been over this.

You are still a meme.

Listen, I'm asking,
Alvy, as a friend, okay?

- A what?
- A friend. You're my friend.

[laughing]
All your friends get 10%?

[Richard]
Look, I won't stay here.

Just find me a path out of--

I'll call you back.

[sighs]

What are you doing here?

Dinner. Remember?

- We need to sit down. Hey. Hey.
- Yeah, well--

We need to sit down,

have a nice meal,
drink some wine

and talk about this
like adults.

[lighthearted intriguing
music playing]

The dinner theater.

- Do not start.
- I'm not starting.

The Millersburg Festival Theater
used to be a destination--

You know absolutely nothing.

[Richard] Our parents
acted on that stage.

Dad should be there now
doing Lear.

Doing it?
He's living it.

No, he's not. He's f--Okay.

He's compromised in some ways,
but he's--he knows who he is.

He confided in me something
that, well, that I--

Confided.
So I can't share it.

- He's g*y?
- He's g*y.

- You know.
- Everybody knows.

He came out the first time
about a month ago.

Now he comes out every day

and then he forgets he did
and he comes out again.

It's sad and happy. It's weird.

Well, I wish somebody
had told me

that our dad
was in a coming-out loop.

Jesus, I--I mean,

you could've called,
I would've come and--

And done what? Beat him up?

- Oh, honey, don't say that.
- Seriously, that's not cool.

Sweetheart, don't you have
something to do?

I wanna see who wins.

He was doing
Willy Loman for me.

He did "Out, out, brief candle."

He made me cry.

It reminded me
of how great we were.

And now a dinner theater.

You are such a pompous a*s.

If you'd climb down from your
ivory tower for five minutes,

maybe-maybe you see what's
going on in this country.

Do you have any idea
how hard it is just to live?

We had to close down
for 15 months.

Our subscriber base is gone.

Miranda, why don't you take
some duck up to your room, okay?

Can I have some wine?

No. No, you cannot--
cannot have any wine.

A little glass is fine.

You know, we can't afford
to produce anything on our own.

So yes, we are bringing
in pre-packaged touring musicals

because we're just trying to
make sure this theater survives.

[whispering]
Love you, Uncle.

We are serving food.
We are serving alcohol.

And let me tell you something,

Forever Plaid and Nunsense
saved our a*s.

You're gouging out
the soul of this town.

You do know that.

What does the mayor
have to say about this?

- [Jon] She's the mayor.
- I'm the mayor.

- You're the mayor?
- Yep, I'm the mayor.

Deal with it.

Dark N' Stormy's.
I thought it was appropriate.

It's usually
ginger beer and rum,

but I've added a little--

Just give it to me.

Make it more of an event.

You've changed.

Kristen, you have fundamentally
changed as a human being.

Oh, no, no, no. You don't get
to tell me who I am.

I'm not telling you who you are.

I'm telling you who you were.

You had very high ideals.

You were an artist.

You built a theater company

with your bare hands
in New York.

- No, we.
- Out of nothing.

We built a theater company.

You just stopped showing up.

[Richard]
You still blame me

because my career took off
and yours didn't.

Maybe that's because I was
too busy taking care of you.

Or maybe it was...

something... else.

No.
No, I'm not gonna--

What? Say it.

Do I need to say it?

- Yes, you do.
- Absolutely not.

- No--
- Do not say it.

- [Jon] Do not say it.
- Say it.

[Jon] Do not say it.

- I will say it.
- Please!

- You weren't as good as I was.
- [chokes]

You are such a d*ck.

[Richard]
Well, at the time you weren't.

- You wanna know why?
- I was better than you...

I wasn't able
to go to auditions

because the entire time
I was there

I was looking after you!

- Come on, please.
- [overlapping chatter]

- [Jon] Please, please...
- [yelling continues]

[Randall] Hey.

Can use the front door,
you know?

Yeah. You always used to say

that I was super romantic
and stuff.

Hi.

[yelling continues]

Whoa, what is up
with the yelling?

My mom and uncle are having
an epic sh*t fight.

They used to date
like 20 years ago.

Your--your mom
dated your uncle?

Mm-hm.

Oh, there's duck on the bed
if you want some.

[distant yelling continues]

Mm! Oh, my God.

So I finished
our Mirandall demo.

Really?

- Mm-hm.
- And?

It's a total banger.

And you slay
the f*cking kingdom, babe.

- [music playing on phone]
- Don't say "slay."

♪ Almost breaking ♪

♪ What's meant to bend ♪

♪ Can we weather ♪

That's your voice.

Jesus, smoke out the window.

- ♪ Try to learn ♪
- Sorry.

You do sound pretty good.

♪ By looking at how--♪

So I can get us gigs
when you're at Penn.

And I got a lead on an apartment
in Brewery Town.

It's $850 a month,
which is sick.

Could we chill
for like five seconds?

Yeah.
It's not what we're doing?

Yeah. It's just you're--

I'm not accepted at Penn.

I'm waitlisted at Penn and
you're talking about apartments.

It's stressing me out.

Penn would be crazy
to not take you.

I mean, you're the smartest,
most talented,

most wonderful person
that I've ever met.

Thanks.

Why am I even trying
to go there?

It's a great school.

I know. That's what
my mom says, but...

I don't know.

My Nana's gone.

Might be moving away.

Everything just happens so fast.

[gentle music playing]

Life...

[chuckles]
You're so high.

[laughing]

[Jon] You called her
a bad actress again.

Why do you do that?

She gets all self-righteous,
you know, and just, it--

Writes off my whole life.

She gets in my head.

To this day when I'm trying to
make a decision about something,

I--I hear her voice
judging me.

You know, sometimes,

when you talk about Kristen,

it's like you think
you're married to her.

I just want to remind you

she's actually my wife.

No, I know.
Yeah, I know.

And she was a terrific actress
in New York.

She just didn't want
to be there.

Not with me.

[sighs]

Mom's dead.

She was always there.

And now...

she's not.

To Mom.

I want you to know

I've decided to stay
for the funeral.

You know, attending
your mother's funeral

is not a noble thing.

You--you make it sound noble.

[voice deepens]
It's my voice.

I'm gonna pay
for the whole thing.

- Every penny.
- Yes, you will.

Yeah. I want to have it
at the theater.

- The funeral?
- Yes.

I want Mom on stage,
one last time.

In a coffin, of course.

Obviously.

We'll invite the town.

The theater will live again,

if only briefly.

Then I'll be gone.

It'll be my swan song,

Isn't it Mom's swan song?

Yes, hers too.

It is a restaurant.

And Mom's dead.

I don't--don't know
if we can actually do that,

put a dead body in a restaurant.

We're--we're gonna need
to get a permit.

I think you'll be able
to make that happen.

You know the mayor.

[laughing]

It's a shitty
apartment building.

Where a lot of very lovely
people live.

And it's on a lot
that is not zoned commercial.

So, rezone it.

Best Buy needs


and I can't get that
within the mall footprint.

Well, I--I'm--I'm sorry,

but I can't keep going back
to Planning and Zoning for you.

People are not liking it.

Best Buy.
[chuckles] Best Buy.

I mean, I'm bringing you
a Best Buy tied up with a bow.

I mean, look at me
expanding your tax base.

It's a gift.

And I do not mean
to sound ungrateful,

but there are a lot
of people in this town

who were beginning to think
that you were the--

- The devil?
- Yeah.

Yeah, because the devil comes
to town in the dark of night

and replaces a vape shop,
Flowers by Barbara,

and a shitty residential
building with a Best Buy.

It is the worst Stephen King
novel I can imagine.

Flowers by Beverly.

Her name is Beverly.

And I'm really sorry
for Beverly,

but I didn't k*ll her business.
COVID did.

[phone ringing in distance]

Look, conversations like this

are happening
all over this country

and they're not easy.

But, you know, you can either

cry for the florist
or the vape shop or, uh...

you take my money.

And you take it
and you rebuild this town.

Or don't.

I'll just hold
a candlelight vigil

for the whole freaking thing.

If I go to P and Z for you,

then I need to be able to tell
them that you've committed

to building some
low-rent residential,

at least 12 units
and in a better location.

- Why not?
- And...

a $250,000 donation

to the daycare center at the Y.

Done.

Ooh!

Look at that, ey!

[chuckles]

You did cost me some money,

but we're doing it.
[snaps fingers]

We're doing business.

[door opens and closes]

How's the theater?

It's fine, fine.

But it's a lot right now

because
I don't know if you know, uh,

my mother-in-law just died.

Do you need help?

Because, you know,

if you help me with the taxes
on 217, roll them all in--

You need to go now.

So I, uh, crossed the line?

Hey, listen, you,
we're doing good work here.

You should be proud.

Oh, and if I am the devil,

then maybe the devil
is what Millersburg needs.

[door closes]

[playful music playing]

Hey, Dad.

Look at this.

If Jon let your cape touch
the floor even for a moment,

you chase him around the room
and beat him with your stick.

Oh, yeah, I remember that.

- Two funny boys.
- Yeah.

Your mother and I had a great
laugh about that this morning.

You two--
That's good.

Um...

Speaking of Mom, uh, we--
[clears throat]

we're doing a...

a thing for Mom tomorrow.

At the theater.

A show?

It's a--
it's a kind of show.

Um, it's--it's a--

it's a--it's--it's just--

it's a thing for--for Mom.

A celebration.

Whoa, whoa. Are you in it?

Yeah, I have a part,
but it's it's--it's--

it's more of an ensemble
kind of thing.

Mom, in fact, is...

the star.

Do you understand?

I understand, but my sweet boy,
it's not possible.

It breaks my heart
to say this, but...

she gave up
her Equity card years ago.

I--I suppose
if it's a one-off thing,

the union would reinstate her.

Let me look into it.

Mind you, if--if it's a comedy,

maybe I could take her place.

Remember my Lady Bracknell?

I had them rolling
in the aisles.

It's more of a drama, Dad.

Um...

I'll call the Equity people.

I'll let you know
what they say, okay?

- Okay.
- I'll see you later.

[laughing]

[calm music playing]

I hope it's not inappropriate
for me to say,

but I'm a big fan
of your work.

Oh, no, never inappropriate.

I followed your career.

We actually worked together
once, many years ago.

Of course we did. Yes, yes!

Yes, we did play together.
You were...

Uh, oh, I remember. I know.

I was somewhere with you.

- It was at the MFT.
- It was at the MFT, yes. What?

- A Midsummer Night's Dream.
- Yes.

Of course, you were--
You were Demetrius.

I was Demetrius.

You were Lysander.

Kenny did the glitter makeup
for the fairies.

[Richard] Oh.

That's when the bug bit me.

[chuckles]

I still do
all my clients myself.

Oh!

No more glitter though.

- No, it's good.
- No.

I mean, it is an art.

I mean, simulating
the glow of tissue

flushed with blood

and concealing scars and sutures

so your loved one doesn't,
you know,

look like a mannequin.

[awkward chuckle]

But the best moment

that I've ever had
in the theater

is the two of you
doing Our Town.

Ah.

Falling in love
in the soda shop.

You were so good together!

So real.

Thank you.

Now, shall we say hello
to your mother?

[Richard] Yes.

She's not finished,
but I think you'll be pleased.

Excuse me. Kenny? Kenny.

When--when you say
"not finished."

In--in what way not finished?

Don't worry.

She just looks
like she's asleep.

Like she could pop awake
at any moment.

Yeah.

[Kenny] Could you--

Could you just give me a moment?

[Richard] Certainly.

[door closes]

[mumbles sickly]

What? Jon.

[door closes]

[retches]

Jon's not very good with death.

I know, I know. Yeah.

Listen, I want to apologize

for what I said
at dinner last night--

About my lack of talent?

I was just--

Kenny's right.

You--you were good
in Our Town.

You're good in everything.

- I was good.
- Yeah.

Thank you.

That was a long time ago.

[calm music playing]

- Richard.
- What is it?

I'm sorry about Ethel.

- I really loved her.
- I know you did.

She was like my mother, too.

[Miranda] She wore this
to your opening

of Long Day's Journey.

Oh, it's beautiful.

We're gonna put it on her

and no one's even
gonna see it, right?

Mm...

Yeah.

Everything just feels
so ridiculous and pointless.

What do you mean--
What do you mean by everything?

Everything.

"We give birth
astride of a grave."

You're too young
to quote Beckett.

You've got your whole life
ahead of you.

What am I gonna do with it?

You're going to be an actor.

Mom wants me to go to Penn.

What--What do you want?

I want to act.

But I don't even know
if I'm any good at it.

Of course you're good.
You're my niece.

But maybe I only wanna
do it to piss mom off

because she doesn't want me
to do it. I don't know.

I have anxiety all the time

and everything
is just f*cked up.

Democracy is dying.
People hate each other.

The world is just falling apart.

It's different
than when you guys were young.

[Richard]
We had the Cold w*r,

we had the b*mb,
we had race riots, we had...

Richard Nixon,
we had the Vietnam w*r.

Did--did Papa or Nana
ever tell you about

the rock musical
that they put on at MFT?

- No.
- Viet Rock it was called.

Very controversial.
They were picketing us.

I had this song.

"Men Die Young"
was the name of the song.

♪ Don't put all your eggs
In one basket ♪

♪ Baskets wear out
And men die young ♪

One night I was singing it,

and I came face-to-face
with this woman that I knew

whose son had just
gotten his orders

for Vietnam
just two weeks before,

and I'm singing this
right in her face.

What did she do?

She threw her arms around me
and hugged me tight.

I just kept singing.

What could I do?

Every night after the play,

the audience and the actors
would gather together and talk.

Anyway, we--we had our...

troubles.

Yeah, we felt disenfranchised,

angry as hell.

But we had a place where we
could commiserate and commune.

Now that place
is a dinner theater.

Uh, yeah,
but it's still a theater,

so there's hope.

Oh, yeah.

Perfect.

Now the other one has
to come in about three inches...

towards stage left.

- How's it going?
- Oh, great.

I'm glad you're here.

You can help me
with the music cues

I'm gonna have underscoring,
you know, between--

As transition.

Why are you there?

[Richard]
That's me in Hamlet.

That was Mom's favorite.

You can't do that.

Why not?

Because it's not your funeral.

I'm shocked I have
to remind you of that.

I know it's not my funeral,

but, uh,
Mom loved that performance.

It was her favorite.

And the town will recognize it.

Ties in the whole
theater, Mom,

the graveyard, death,
the whole tragedy.

Okay, fine.

Nina, let's lose the--
the photograph stage right.

Put it downstairs

and replace it with mom
in Salome.

No.

Hold that thought.
Mom in South Pacific.

It's in the green room.

- Happy?
- Yes.

Let's run the, um,
the sound cues

for Ethel's entrance,
shall we?

Yeah, we're gonna--
we'll run cue 14.

Her entrance--
Her entrance?

Yeah.

Start with number one, please,
whenever you're ready.

Number one.

[fog machine hissing]

["Thus Spake Zarathustra"
playing on PA]

Yeah, I get it. I get it.

It's--You're transfixed.

You don't like it.
I know. It's too much.

It was just an idea.

Um, reset 14.

Reset 14.

This next one, it's gonna be
entirely different.

Much more lighthearted,
more carefree, more whimsical.

You'll recognize it.

- It's one of Mom's favorites.
- [pulleys squeaking]

Uh, number six.

Number six, going.

["Send in the Clowns"
playing on PA]

♪ Isn't it rich? ♪

Seriously?

♪ Are we a pair? ♪

What? Too light?

"Send in the Clowns."

Isn't that totally
disrespectful?

Is it just me?

Yeah, it's just you.

[Randall]
I said the same thing.

Thank you, Randall.

- You're welcome.
- [Richard] Thank you, Randall.

Yes. And how many
Tony Awards have you won?

Remind me, please.

Yeah, okay.
I don't know what I'm doing.

I mean, how would I--

Hey, take a breath.
Take a breath.

- [laughing]
- Hey, maybe--

Clearly I know nothing.

Listen, maybe, maybe, maybe

don't have the coffin descend.

Just have it on the stage
at the beginning.

Nope. Nope.

She's gotta have an entrance.
Sorry, sorry.

This--this is the theater
that Mom built with Dad,

and it's her last entrance

and it's gotta be
a big entrance.

Okay? Cue three.

[ethereal music playing]

[pulley squeaking]

["Requiem" playing on PA]

[choir singing in Latin]

- [clattering]
- [woman] Oh, my God!

[man] What the f*ck!

[feedback ringing]

Okay.

[man] Go, go, go!

[Richard sighs] I don't know
what I was thinking.

I'm sorry. I just--

I'm sacrificing everything
for some cheap spectacle.

I'm not trusting the material.

- It's a funeral.
- Yeah.

Everybody loved Mom.
They're gonna be sad.

Yeah.

I just want it to be perfect,
that's all.

I--

I know you do.
I know you do.

- It's gonna be great.
- Yeah.

Hey, just the fact
that it's here.

In our theater.

Of course. I know.
It's--You're right.

- It's your gift to her.
- Yeah.

Thanks, Jon. You're right.

Um...

Let's lose the fog machine,
Randall.

[Randall]
That's a mistake.

[Kenny] Welcome.

Nice to see you.
Thanks for coming.

Welcome.
Thanks for coming.

[crowd chattering]

[string music playing]

You have the house.

House up.

["Suite N.1 in G Major" playing]

[Linus] Richard, Richard.

Here I am.

- How you doing, Dad?
- Fine, fine.

Jon's taking good care of me.

Good.

Your mother is so looking
forward to this.

We're good.

Would you help Granddad?

Hey, sweetie.

Hi.

[cello playing]

Hi, everyone.

It means so much
looking out and...

seeing you all here.

And I want to thank you
for coming here today

to help us celebrate
the life of my mother.

Ethel Bean.

A wife,

an actress, and a friend.

[voice breaking]
A friend to all of you.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

[sniffles]

- You okay?
- Yeah. I'm good.

Where were you?

[Kristen] Friend to all

and grand dame of this, our--

our family's theater.

As some of you know,
she was born in Dayton

and she worked her way
through nursing school

as an upholsterer's assistant.

But the truth is,

life for Ethel Harper Bean
really didn't begin

until she played Laura

in The Glass Menagerie
right here on this stage.

With Linus there
as her gentleman caller.

I think I've got it.
I'm good.

I think I've got it.

You know, my mother

always dreamed
of being an actress.

But it took her a while
to find a home.

This place.

This place was her home.

The Millersburg
Festival Theater.

And it's her life in this place

that she would want us
to celebrate.

Now, we have a video for you

that was put together
by Miranda and Randall.

So, please.

♪

Horace Vandergelder never
tired of saying most people,

people in the world, were fool.

And in a way,
I think he's right, isn't he?

But there comes a moment
in everybody's life

when he must decide

whether to live
with human beings or not.

Be a fool among fools
or a fool alone.

As for me...

I've decided to live among the.

[cello continues]

[door opens and closes]

Oh, here. Excuse me.

Is--is there a funeral
happening in here?

- [whispering] Yes, there is.
- [Nadia] Wait.

- What?
- You are he.

You're from the movies,
Connor.

- Shh.
- [loudly] This is he.

He's the one I tell you about.

Oh, my God. Would you sign?

What'd you sign
one thing I have?

Maybe a little later, love.

I'm so sorry.
This is totally inappropriate.

- Yes, it is.
- My name is Connor Boyle.

I--I'm--I'm working
with the mayor.

- Your--
- Sister-in-law.

No, I mean, you are...

No, he's Richard Bean,
you idiot.

He's huge.

Oh, you know, huge.
Come on, love.

Would you sign something, please?

Of course.

- This--
- Shh! Of course.

He's nice.

Put "To Nadia."

- Na--Nad--
- Nadia.

- Nadia.
- Mm-hm.

"With great love and respect."

And I--

"And don't ever--

don't ever give up
on dreams."

I won't.

And then put,
"Your dreams will--"

"Your dreams
will come true one day."

"Your dreams..." I hope so.

"I promise."

- "Love always."
- Love...

"I carry you in my heart."

I've run out of room.

Then you just put, put--
just put your name.

Yeah. Great. Really appreciate
it. Thank you very much.

- Thank you.
- You don't know

how much this means to me.

You don't know
how the theater it feeds me.

Hope they haven't
buried her yet.

[door opens and closes]

[a capella]
♪ When you walk ♪

♪ Through a storm ♪

♪ Hold your head up high ♪

♪ And don't be afraid
Of the dark ♪

♪ At the end of the storm ♪

♪ There's a golden sky ♪

♪ And the sweet silver song ♪

♪ Of a lark ♪

♪ Walk on through the wind ♪

♪ Walk on through the rain ♪

♪ Though your dreams ♪

- [phone buzzing]
- ♪ Be tossed and blown ♪

- [whispering] Hello?

[Alvy]
It's your paid friend Alvy.

Richard, are you there?

- Yes, I am.
- Here's the deal.

They're willing to have
you back at Lear,

but you need to consent

to a psychological evaluation

and two weeks of anger
management training.

♪ Walk alone ♪

Yes. I'll have to think
about it. I'll call you back.

♪ You'll never walk alone ♪

Thank you.

I have to admit I thought
this would be a train wreck.

Well, I gave him a few notes.

It's kind of great.

"We are such stuff
that dreams are made on

and our little life
is rounded with a sleep."

Shakespeare's Tempest.

His last play

and his farewell
to the theater.

Fitting words today
as we say goodbye

to my mother, Ethel,
the founder of this--

this theater.

It's difficult for me
to explain what it was like

growing up in
an atmosphere of creativity

and free expression

and the impact
that it had on me,

my brother Jon,
on Kristen and Miranda.

And this town.

There's Mrs. Wilkie,

my favorite algebra teacher

and a brilliant Masha
in The Seagull.

Howard Frazier,

who, when the lights went out

on our Mourning
Becomes Electra,

he ran out to his truck,

hooked up our electrical system,

and in five minutes, presto,

the lights were back on.

He knew how important it was

to keep the lights on
in this theater.

At that moment, it was the most
important thing in his life.

And it still is important

because the Millersburg
Festival Theater

was not just my mother's home.

It was and is

the soul of this town.

Sadly, I must report that...

because of financial pressures

and misguided
programming choices,

this theater's in trouble.

[crowd murmuring]

It might even close.
That's right.

But we're not going
to let that happen, are we?

No.

I'm coming home to Millersburg.

I'm coming home.

And I swear to you
that together

I will restore
the soul of this town

by producing and directing
and maybe starring

in the greatest production
this country has ever seen

of a true American classic,

Thornton Wilder's Our Town.

[applause]

My son's come home!

[cheering]

This is Mom's funeral, right?

No, not anymore.

It's The Richard Bean Show.

[cheering and applause]

[mischievous music playing]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[music continues]