(suspenseful music)
(suspenseful music continues)
(radio chattering)
- Can you hear?
Can you hear me now?
Can you hear me?
(radio chattering)
Good.
Secure the hostage.
Ow.
- [Tank] What do we
do with his body?
- Bring me his head.
Packaged discreetly.
I don't need to see that.
Go ahead.
I love the retro thing
but the sound,
don't get me wrong,
I love the gift, I just, hello?
(helicopter whirring)
- Somebody found us.
What's the plan?
- Search the perimeter.
Bring him back to me alive.
Brock freaking Belfrie,
when are you gonna learn?
You're too old for this game.
- [Radio] We're ready to
rock, just give us the word.
(Brock grunting)
- [Radio] Belfrie, you copy?
Belfrie?
Belfrie?
(speaking in a foreign language)
- Don't start, sit down.
Sit down.
(hand punching)
You know when they
put you to pasture
you're gonna be right
there next to me.
(g*n banging)
(hands punching)
(body banging)
(body banging)
(Tank grunting)
Ah.
You will not see the
last of me, Belfrie.
Ah.
(b*mb beeping)
(b*mb exploding)
- Hello?
(radio chattering)
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
One time only, one time deep
She said you
need a ride back
Some cash
And one decided
been a long while
Since I played, and can liar
And we had a good time
Had a good time
Such a good time
Blackhawk
You know a Blackhawk
Every inch of the way
And when you rock you
better roll, Willy
That's a long lift
(upbeat music)
(slow music)
- Mr. Belfrie, how are
you feeling this morning?
Hello?
- Oh, I'm, I'm good.
I guess I'm just ready
to get out of here.
- It looks like you're gonna
be here for a few weeks.
- Oh, come on.
- You have a lacerated deltoid.
Your planter tendon
needs surgery.
You're gonna have to be patient.
How old are you?
- 42.
- You're getting a
little long in the tooth
to be playing hero.
So, today's agenda,
you have X-rays,
11 am prelim with your
physical therapist.
Yummy hospital lunch at 1,
oh yes, and it's bath day.
You down for a
little sponge bath?
- Oh yeah, well all right.
- Great, Ingrid,
sergeant Befrie is ready
for his sponge bath.
(slow music)
(slow music)
(Belfrie grunting)
Doing good.
(upbeat music)
You've come so far.
(upbeat music)
Look how far you've come.
(upbeat music)
Real good.
(upbeat music)
- Thanks, doc.
I never thought I'd be sad
to be leaving this place.
- [Mia] Gonna miss all
those hospital lunches, eh?
- A lot more than that.
- Then maybe you should
ask me to lunch sometimes.
- Doctor Lang.
- Mia?
- Mia, I was curious.
Could you see yourself
with someone like me?
- Lunch?
Absolutely.
Friends, yes, end up with you
as in end up with
you, not likely.
- Too good for me?
That what it is?
- No, soldiers come
through here all the time.
Not all of them are
as lucky as you.
I'd be worried that one
day you'd go to work and...
- Be unlucky.
- Belfrie, you are now
honorably discharged
from the United States Army.
In exchange you are
to keep your history
and your assignments
fully classified.
- We're suggesting a relocation
as well as flying under
the radar at the moment.
- You come across any
strange situations
you contact our
office immediately.
- And please keep us
abreast of your whereabouts
just to be safe.
- Most importantly,
you come across
any of those unsavory characters
that you faced on
the b*ttlefield,
you contact me immediately.
All right, Belfrie, good
luck with everything.
- You are now a civilian.
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
- [Belfrie] Looking
forward to the new us.
- Okay.
- And, ah.
(upbeat music)
(glass clinking)
(upbeat music)
(TV chattering)
(upbeat music)
(door closing)
(suspenseful music)
(g*ns banging)
- Oh come on,
that's not how you,
you can't reach a door...
Ah, number three is
flagging number two?
What the hell?
Just...
(g*ns banging)
Yeah cool, flag each other.
This...
(g*ns banging)
- You miss it?
- I am exactly where I wanna be.
- You're not bored?
- No.
Well, maybe a little.
- I knew it.
You know what I think you need?
- Bam chicks wow wow?
- Besides that.
I think you need to find
something that interests you.
Like coaching little
league, maybe a hobby.
You have a whole new
life ahead of you.
- Hm, you know what?
You are right.
You're right.
I'm gonna get me a job.
- Hey, bout time you start
carrying your own
weight around here.
- Carry some more
weight than just mine.
- [Mia] Okay.
- Hm, good idea.
(Mia laughing)
(slow music)
- Get my chopper to the helipad.
- So, Mr. Belfrie, what kind
of work experience do you have?
- Well, nothing I can
talk about really.
Well see, I signed
an NDA on my last gig
but I promise you I am
a natural born k*ll...
Leader, natural born leader,
but I'm not looking for that
kind of responsibility anymore.
- What a surprise.
Office skills?
- Well...
(phone ringing)
- Hello?
I'm working.
I'm sitting in my
office right now.
I have someone sitting
across from me.
By the time we see the sun
- Food service experience?
- Can make a mac 'n
cheese that's fire.
What else you got?
- Experience in sales.
House painting.
Bartending.
No?
Birthday party clown.
- Come on now, really?
- Work with me, Belfrie.
Aside from being a
standup comedian,
you must possess some skills.
- What I do have are a very
particular set of skills.
You could say I have experience
working in security.
- Actually, I have something
that might be right for you.
- Really?
What's that?
- Rent-a-Cop has an opening.
(upbeat music)
- Mister I made poopa.
- Well, get the
hell away from me
and take your poopa
with you, little girl.
Go on.
(child screaming)
- What did you
just say to my kid?
If I wasn't on parole
I would beat your a*s.
- Really, need to tend to
your little girl there.
- I've seen your type before.
What do you think you're
a cop? You're a loser.
I wanna speak to your
supervisor. Supervisor.
- This one will be
hard to screw up.
Play it safe, don't
talk to anybody.
(upbeat music)
(wall banging)
- Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, calm down.
(washer door closing)
Hey man, put your
drawers back on.
(change rattling)
- [Customer] Money,
money, money.
(speaking in a foreign language)
- But this wasn't my fault.
The man was naked.
I'm not talking half naked,
I'm talking about buck, stark,
full frontal just nasty.
I wasn't about to
put my hands on him.
- Then I got called
to the maternity ward
to deliver two
babies in three hours
followed by removing a
dime from a kid's nose.
Sorry.
How was your day at work?
- Well, about that...
- I know the jobs that
they've been sending you on
aren't ideal and
I know that I said
that we don't need
the extra money
but speaking of
maternity ward...
- What?
- You're gonna be a daddy.
- What?
Me?
When?
- December.
- Oh, I love you so much.
- I love you too.
- What?
Oh my god.
- Yeah.
- A baby.
- We're gonna be the
perfect little family
and I was thinking
the extra money
that you've been making,
we can put it towards
the baby's room.
- Hmm.
- So, what were
you gonna tell me?
- Oh nothing, nothing.
We are going to have a baby.
We are going to have a baby.
Hello, hello, I'm your daddy.
Hey.
- So, before you
bailed the last time
I had one last job that
is suitable for you.
- I'll take it.
- You don't even
know what it is yet.
- Doesn't matter, I need a job.
- Fine.
- The Sunnydale
Retirement Village?
- One and only.
They need an extra security guy.
- What about that
square dancing place?
I can absolutely outrun
that woman if I need to.
- Oh, that ship has
sailed, Belfrie.
So suck it up.
This is the last
job that suits you.
That's it.
- A retirement village?
But the way you
carry your persona
It's been a long
call making it out
Louisville, gateway
to the south
So Louisville
So Louisville
This is for our city
So Louisville
So Louisville
This is for my
city, for my city
I'm so glad we feel
cold or flow griff
Taking places is
smart down 35th
I'm like Ali feeling
like the greatest
Wouldn't feel right without
a shout and static mate
(car engine revving)
(car door closing)
(upbeat music)
Yes, sir
(air whooshing)
When I touch down
- I'm looking for Kurt?
- Don't bother, he's in a
constant state of meditation.
Has anyone told you you
have a radiant aura?
- No, ma'am.
- Herta Sherry.
- Brock.
- I'm picking up
a marvelous vibe.
- Is Kurt around?
- Kurt?
The operations manager?
Virgo, sweet but
extremely uptight.
What's your sign?
- May I have my hand back?
- My guess would be Gemini.
Cut the deck.
Are you married?
- Yes.
- I myself am not.
Not that I wouldn't
give it another whirl.
Seven is my lucky number.
- You've been
married seven times?
- Six.
- Seven's the one that'll stick.
Touchdown in your
town all we do is ball
Touchdown in your
town all we do is ball
- You remind me of my son.
(hand slapping)
Hate my son.
That boy still owes me $400.
- Brock Belfrie?
- [Herta] We have to talk.
Something right bad is
about to happen to you.
- Kurt Hamper,
operations manager.
I was afraid you
changed your mind.
Come on.
Get my business
right, player
Take an oath this year
- Welcome to the Sunnydale team.
As you can see, I
have my hands full.
- Well, I wasn't expecting that.
- Well, you know, you hear
the term retirement village
and you think, oh bingo
and knitting circles
but the truth is
it's hell on earth.
Yeah, and it's thanks
to social media
because they got the
old people thinking
that this age is just a number.
Last week I caught two
of our 90 year olds
running an Only Fans account.
Yeah, it was like,
like watching 50 Shades
of Gray in diapers.
- Ah, sorry I'm late.
Martha and Enzo
were doing bong rips
on the veranda again.
What up, dog?
Kirby Carmichael.
Welcome to our humble abode.
- Brock.
How long have you lived here?
- Oh, I don't.
I'm the head of security.
So, did you tell him about our,
the super fun assignment?
- Oh, oh my goodness,
you are gonna love this.
So, once a year a few of our
more manageable residents
get a reward and it's just a,
it's a quick road trip.
- To Atlantic City baby.
High five.
- Atlantic City?
Oh, no, I'm sorry, I can't.
- Oh no, no, no,
it's okay, no, no.
They're, it's not a problem.
All your expenses are
paid including money
for gas and snacks.
- I will help around here but I,
I can't go to Atlantic City.
I'm married.
- Don't worry, I'll make sure
you don't get your freak on.
- I don't get my freak on.
- Reservations have
already been made.
- Yeah.
Okay.
- Bon voyage.
(upbeat music)
Martha, I have told you
not to smoke in here.
- I'm sorry, my memory
must be going to crap.
- Do that around
Francis's oxygen
and this place is gonna
go up like the Hindenburg.
- Read your cards.
You have a very
interesting trajectory.
Did I tell you that my grandson
was abducted by a UFO?
- You don't even
have a grandson.
- Have another
drink, Martha May.
That's why your son
never comes to visit you.
- This is Brock.
- He's taking us
to Atlantic City.
- Well hello there,
big and beefy.
Mitzi Monet here,
charmed I'm sure.
- Sorry, Mitz, he's married.
- But not buried.
- Big dog, I'm Teddy, this
is Enzo, and that's Francis.
- Beg your pardon?
- He's taking us
to Atlantic City.
- No, I'm not.
- Can't find my keys.
- He don't hear too good.
- He also doesn't drive.
- But he's a hell of a
paisano, right Francis?
- Okay, and this is Ophelia.
(Ophelia yelling)
No, no, no, no, no.
- Down girl, down girl.
He remind me of my son.
(upbeat music)
(airplane engine revving)
(tires screeching)
- Did you guys
find him yet, huh?
The boss is getting antsy.
(radio buzzing)
- Son of a b*tch, I got him.
- [Sketch] What?
- I got him.
- [Sketch] Brock?
- Yeah, got his cell
phone right here, listen.
- Mia, I am not going.
- Calm down you big baby.
It's only a weekend.
- [Sketch] He's in Kentucky.
- Sh.
- [Sketch] Let me in on that.
- Stop.
Son of a...
I lost him.
- I should have never agreed
to work with this clan.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, listen.
- I mean, they may be veterans
but they are seriously twisted.
- Veterans.
- They are totally
breaking it down.
- This is not good,
this is not good.
- [Sketch] This is
Zero Dark Thirty stuff.
- This is not what I expected.
One of 'em almost
blew up the place.
They're animals.
- It's not gonna be that bad.
- I'm telling you, this mob
doesn't play by the rules.
- Mob?
This mob.
It's like a secret mob.
Of course.
- [Tank] I lost him.
- Kentucky Fried Illuminati.
- Illuminati.
Hey, we gotta get out of here.
That means they
know our location.
We gotta go.
Clean up this stuff.
- That's not the point, Mia.
I just don't roll
with old people.
- Not all old people
are gonna smother you
like they did when
you were little.
- I just can't leave you alone.
- Honey, I'm fine.
I'm a big girl.
I will be okay.
- Well, don't forget I'm
supposed to be laying low.
- Everything's gonna
be great, all right?
I'll talk to you soon.
I love you.
Bye.
- Yeah well, closer
isn't good enough.
Thanks to you buffoons
I'm a laughing stock
of the international
kidnapping community.
Ow.
Okay, listen, I appreciate you
putting the man in manicure
but you are mining
my cuticles, baby.
- We're tracking Belfrie's
phone as we speak.
He's somewhere in Kentucky.
- Really?
Wow, very clever.
Okay gentlemen, this is your
last chance to find him.
Get it?
Jagger, you go lick your wounds.
Take a staycation.
Rest of you, find
sergeant Belfrie
and his new k*ll squad.
- We need more intel.
- Yeah.
- Well, that's exactly
what you'll get.
Gentlemen, meet Tasha Sharp.
She's graciously come on board
to provide us with a
little inside information.
- Hiya boys.
- [Sketch] Hey Tasha.
- Eliminate them all.
No, no clear coat, like
just a, just a buff.
What am I, Nathan Lane?
(slow music)
(bag banging)
(door closing)
- Hello?
- [Tasha] It's Tasha
Sharp over at Special Ops.
I was just calling to
see how civilian life
is treating you.
- Well, so far so good.
I think I'm gonna stay
in Louisville for a bit.
- Great to hear.
Well, make sure to absolutely
send us your address
so we can keep it on file
and out of curiosity, are
you working with anyone?
- Well, right now I'm teamed up
at a place called Sunnydale.
- Well, it makes me warm hearted
to hear that you
are doing so well.
Make sure to keep us
posted on your whereabouts
and stay golden.
- I will.
Babe.
- Yes.
I got it.
- What?
- They took my bid.
There's a, Steve Austin
action figure, the original.
You look through the eye
and it has this kind
of telescopic thing.
(inaudible)
How was your thing?
(slow music)
(car door closing)
(car engine revving)
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)
- I can't find my keys.
- It's okay, it's okay.
Listen, Ophelia's meds should be
kicking in any minute.
Have fun, be careful.
Have fun.
- [Ladies] Good
morning, Mr. Belfrie.
- Looking sharp, ladies.
- This is gonna be a trip
we're never gonna forget.
- I don't doubt that.
- Hidey h*, partner.
You didn't have to
wear your uniform.
Loosen up.
- I don't loosen.
- Well, I myself am
ready to throw down.
Get my drink on.
Get hizzy for my shizzy.
- Will you please
stop doing that?
- Word.
Oh.
According to the old navigator
in about 12 hours we should
roll into Atlantic City.
14 if you count
the potty breaks.
I'll cover the first leg.
- The hell you will.
Keys.
- Suit yourself.
(everyone cheering)
(upbeat music)
- [Herta] Mr. Belfrie?
- Yes, Herta.
- [Herta] Can you pull over,
please. I need a potty break.
- Get ready for lots of that.
I kinda have to go too,
I mean, to be honest.
Anybody else have to go?
Hands up.
We all have to go.
(sirens blaring)
- Get on the bus.
(sirens blaring)
Get on the bus, please.
(upbeat music)
Get on the bus.
Get on the bus.
(upbeat music)
(phone buzzing)
- Belfrie.
- Oh, hi it's Tasha,
just checking in.
- Yeah, I'm on a road trip
if you wanna call it that.
- Well earned.
Where exactly are you?
- Well, I'm headed
out of state and...
(phone clicking)
- You're supposed to rest.
It is imperative that I
have your specific location
for your safety.
- I gotta call you back.
Get on the bus.
(upbeat music)
And a good time,
such a good time
(upbeat music)
- Okay, who's ready
for an egg salad Sammy?
- [Herta] Yeah.
- Egg salad?
- [Teddy] Yeah.
- Egg salad, egg
salad, egg salad?
- Are you sure this
is the right way?
- Well, the old flip
phone is never wrong.
Egg salad?
Chow down, folks.
(upbeat music)
- This is where he's hiding out?
- Tasha said it was Sunnydale.
- Gentlemen, Kurt Hamper,
operations manager.
Can I help you?
- We're looking for
a friend of ours.
- Belfrie.
- Brock Belfrie.
- Ha ha ha, sure, yeah, he's,
oh no, no, no, you
can't go inside.
No, I'm sorry, you can't...
I'm sorry, Brock who?
- Brock Belfrie.
- There is no Brock Belfrie.
We have a Brock Bellingslyinge.
He's Norwegian.
He has like vibrant blue
eyes, they're stunning
but yeah, there's
no Brock Belfrie.
- He ain't in there.
- See?
- Where is he?
- I, there, I don't,
wait, what are you doing?
What are you, no,
no, no, I can't go,
are you taking?
I have to call bingo
ba*ls at three.
- [Sketch] This is the
way, get in the van.
- [Kurt] Oh my god,
are you kidnapping me?
(upbeat music)
- Hey, how's it going?
- It's going.
- You good?
- Define good.
- I have a surprise for you.
- Yeah, what's that?
- I'm gonna come down there
and hang out with you guys.
- Oh babe, as bad as I
wanna see you I just,
it's just not a good time.
- Okay.
- Stay put, I'll see
you when I get home.
I love you.
- I love you more.
- [Brock] Bye bye.
- Okay, bye.
(upbeat music)
(tire screeching)
(car door closing)
- It's flat.
- [Tank] Is he on the move?
- Looks like he's heading east.
- It looks like Tasha's
information was correct.
- Where is he?
- He's heading east now.
We did capture one of
his accomplices though.
We're interrogating
him right now.
- Just get it done.
Morons.
It's like asking the
touring company of Roadhouse
to sub in for Sweeney Todd.
- Go with Hern.
- Like Cario.
- Ah, point taken.
- Something tells me I'm gonna
have to handle this myself.
That's what you get
when you hire personal
trainers for henchmen.
Your little vacation done?
- Ready to rumble.
- Why did I do that?
I always default
to the diminutive.
Little this, little
that, it's kind of,
it's not threatening, is it?
- Pretty campy.
- It is, it's a little
cam, there I did it again.
It's just, I don't
know, I don't get it.
It's odd.
Lemon drop?
- Sure.
- Do we have any
more information
from our guest back there?
- Where is Brock Belfrie.
- Okay, I will say it again,
I don't know any Brock Belfrie.
Now look, if you just let me out
I swear I won't utter a
word of this to anyone.
- Tank, just let me k*ll him.
- He's heading to the
Silver Slipper casino
in Atlantic City.
- Hey, that checks out.
He's heading that direction.
(Sketch laughing)
(slow music)
(tire banging)
- Looks like you
got a flat tire.
(slow music)
- Boy, what the
hell'd you run over?
- Don't start, Ophelia.
- Zip it, you old fool.
You don't know me.
- Will everybody
just please calm down
and get back on the bus?
(slow music)
- There's a spare
tire in the back.
- It's okay, I see a
little rest stop up ahead.
I'll pull up there.
- Good plan, Ace.
(door closing)
- Look, I want you
to take them inside
and buy them lunch
while I fix this.
One hour.
- Roger dodger.
- And Kirby, come and get me
if you see anyone strange.
- Okay.
- [Brock] Well, more strange.
- 10/4 good buddy.
You know what?
I'm starting to think we
make a really great team.
Kinda like Starsky and Hutch.
- One hour, Kirby.
- Sure thing, Starsky.
- And, don't bring
them back here
until you're satisfied
that everyone
has gone to the bathroom, okay?
- All right, gotcha.
Come on everybody,
it's chow time.
(whistle blowing)
This way, this way.
Come on.
- You need help at all?
- No, no, I'm good.
- You're okay?
- Yeah.
- All right.
(slow music)
- Look, let's make
it fast all right.
Pit stop.
- Hey, order me some grub
while you're in there.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hey darling, how
many of you are there?
- Uh, table for eight please.
- Anywhere you like.
- [Kirby] Come on, g*ng.
(rocks crunching)
- Where is he?
- He's here.
(people chattering)
(suspenseful music)
- Well, well, well, fancy
running into you here.
I told you I'd find you.
- Well, you surely did.
(upbeat music)
- Toss it.
(upbeat music)
Oh, I'm not gonna fall for that.
(upbeat music)
- Has anyone told you,
you have a radiant aura?
- All the time.
- Herta Ziering.
- General Burt Langley.
- General.
- Hey Burt, can I
warm up your coffee?
- Sure.
- And, got your number seven.
- Lucky number seven.
Thanks, Cherry.
- Number seven?
(upbeat music)
(Sketch grunting)
(upbeat music)
(metal banging)
(upbeat music)
- Where's the head?
- Up at the cashiers.
(upbeat music)
(air whooshing)
- Hello there, Cherry.
Do you sell chili dogs?
- What if I do?
- Well, then I'd
have to bother you
for three chili dogs,
footlongs please.
- All right.
- Wow.
- Where'd I put my keys?
- So beautiful,
what brings you out
to the middle of nowhere?
- Oh, just a quick road trip
with a few old friends.
You?
- Normally I'm not
allowed to discuss my past
but I'm retired.
I was stationed
over at Fort Knox.
Got this little house
right next to the place.
- Fort Knox?
Where they keep all the money?
- That ain't all they
got locked up there.
You wouldn't believe what
they're holding in that place.
I'm talking UFO's.
Let me know if you ever want
a little after hours tour.
- Check please.
- Ha ha ha, there you are.
You son of a b*tch.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
(engine revving)
(Francis laughing)
- Cool jacket.
I used to have one
back in the '80s
when I was a roadie
for Judas Priest.
Did a tour in Munich once,
partied our asses off.
Yeah, I don't remember
a lot of that tour.
Okay, I'll see you later.
Thanks, Cherry.
(can scraping)
- Yeah, it's about time.
- Cabin fever getting to you?
I'm with you.
You look busted.
- [Brock] Yeah.
- I could have helped
you change the tire.
- No, it's done, let's go.
- All right.
Oh, got you pie.
- I appreciate that.
Now, can we get on
the road please?
Hey, this is Red Dog 3182,
former agent Brock Belfrie.
Can you connect me
with sergeant Green
in the Special Ops
Black Unit, please?
- Belfrie, what's your status.
- Two of Pierce's g*ons
caught up with me.
- Herta, what are you doing?
- We're taking a
little side excursion.
You and the others go ahead.
We'll catch up later.
- You don't even know this guy.
- If anyone knows him it's me.
- Oh, 'cause you
know things, right?
How are you gonna find us?
- I'll find you.
Remember, I have the gift.
- [Burt] And terrific GPS.
- Oh hon.
(car engine revving)
- None now, I disarmed them.
They're tied up behind
Dusty's Diner in Bridgecrest.
- We'll get some MP's
over there right away.
You got wheels?
- [Brock] You can say that.
- There's probably a
third one lurking nearby.
I'll call you when we
scoop him up, all right?
Be safe.
- Copy.
- Dammit.
I don't know how they
were on him so quickly.
- I don't know.
I can look into it.
Did he say where he's headed?
I'm on it.
- Everybody here?
- Six, seven, Mitzy,
is Francis back there?
- He's gone night night.
- Let's hit the road, man.
- All accounted for.
Everybody except...
- Herta.
- Where's Herta?
- Well, she's probably
just met number seven.
- Number seven?
- She'll be fine.
She did the same thing
with five and six.
- Okay.
(upbeat music)
(Francis mumbling)
- Don't forget to signal.
- I got it, Kirby.
- Copy that, Starsky.
- And stop calling me Starsky.
- Copy that.
- And stop saying, copy that.
- Gotcha.
Egg salad?
- If I took one, will
you stop asking me?
- Uh, I can't promise that.
Maybe, yeah go ahead.
Want the other half?
(slow music)
- [Tank] Moose.
- Guys.
- Moose.
- Moose.
- Who else it gonna
be, you idiot?
(knocking on can)
- What are you guys
doing in there?
- We're not in there,
we're back here.
- [Tank] Hurry up.
- [Moose] Well, what the hell
are you guys doing back here?
- Hurry up, move.
Come on.
- [Henchman] I think he used
like a hitch knot or something.
(Francis laughing)
- Four more hours.
Just get comfortable.
- Slow down, slow
down, slow down.
(Francis laughing)
- Gee Tank, why you
walking so fast?
- So bad, I got rope
rash on my wrist.
- Where the hell is our ride?
- That son of a b*tch
and his k*ll squad
must have jacked it.
- Did you see him?
- Nope.
(slow music)
(knocking on door)
- Sorry fellas, I'm
on my lunch break.
(slow music)
- [Biker] Hey.
- Absolutely not.
(slow music)
- Thanks for stopping.
My friend is unconscious.
(slow music)
- Everybody stay put.
(slow music)
- You heard him.
Everybody stay put.
- Hold her head back.
- Hurry please.
- How long has she
been like this?
- Just now.
- [Biker] Can we get a
ride to an emergency room?
- No, I'm sorry.
I got a bus full already
but I'll call for...
- How about now rent-a-cop?
(slow music)
- [Biker] Everybody off the bus.
- [Biker] Move
it, you old bitty.
- Ladies, you're not
thinking this through.
- Shut up, grandpa.
- You're right.
You're lucky I'm
not your grandpa
because I'd tan your behinds.
- Oh, bet you'd like that.
- Got a point.
- I ain't seen one of
these in a long time.
- You're gonna have
to k*ll me dead
before you can
take my fanny pack.
- Don't tempt her, Martha.
- [Biker] Where's your
wallet, tough guy?
- It's on the bus.
- Well, what are
you waiting for?
Move your a*s.
You too, empty your purse.
- Such a pretty girl,
remind me of my daughter.
I hate my damn daughter.
- Freeze.
- Beat it.
- Or not.
(motorcycle engines revving)
(upbeat music)
- I spy with my little eye.
Do you need some Kleenex?
(car beeping)
I'll get you some.
Who's got Kleenex?
(tires screeching)
- Everybody stays put.
Do not get out of the bus.
- You heard what the man said.
No matter what, nobody
gets off the bus.
- Kirby, stay with them.
I'm gonna see if I can
find the police station.
- Gotcha.
(upbeat music)
Everyone, everyone. Brock
will be back in a minute.
Just stay right here.
- I'm feeling dehydrated.
I could go for a glass of water.
- Yeah, I need to
wet my whistle.
- Martha, Martha please.
Please, Brock will
be right back.
Ophelia.
Martha, Martha.
All right, go on.
- Wait up, fellas.
(upbeat music)
- [Brock] Hello
(knocking on door)
- How can I help ya?
- Hi, is there a
sheriff's station in town?
- You're standing in it.
- Well, I need to talk
to a police officer.
- What can I do you for?
- You're a cop?
- I am.
I'm also a notary, a CPA, and
a certified iowaska therapist.
Got a sweat lodge out back.
Did you wanna make
an appointment?
- No, I'm good.
I'm transporting a
bus load of seniors
to Atlantic City and
we were just robbed
out on the highway.
- Let me guess, you
wanna file a report?
- Yeah.
- [Officer] All right.
Fill these out.
- Woo.
Come on, take it.
(frat guys laughing)
- Hey dude, check it
out, our dates are here.
- Hello young man.
Is it happy hour?
- No, ma'am, not until six.
- Do you take senior discounts?
- I'm sorry, we don't.
- Hey GILF's.
Hey, hey, over here,
drinks on us, we'll buy.
That's if you
ladies can keep up.
(frat guys laughing)
- Line 'em up, boy.
(pen scribbling)
(upbeat music)
(everyone screeching)
(upbeat music)
(everyone cheering)
- Hey, to women
of a certain age.
- And one for the dead.
- One for the dead.
Hell yes.
Hey bartender, another round.
(everyone laughing)
- Keep it coming.
- Here, these.
(Francis sputtering)
- Yeah, yeah.
- He loves to get around.
- You better make it rain.
- Yeah buddy, all
that ain't free.
(everyone cheering)
- Hurry up with that
second round baby girl.
- Mitzi, are you crazy?
We don't got cash.
(everyone cheering)
- See this now.
Okay, so let me get
this straight here.
You's was robbed by
some biker chicks?
- Yes.
- Let me guess, were
they on pink motorcycles
with them fringy things
on the handlebars?
- No.
They were bad a*s biker b*tches.
- Okay, hold on one second.
Information Center,
this is Reba.
I told you kids not to be
calling me here all day.
No, I don't care how many
damn Funyuns he's had.
He's not enough to
give him pig belly.
I can't talk right now.
I'm conducting some
official police business.
Now, put this phone
down right now
and don't call me unless
one of you's are dying.
Jesus.
Go ahead.
(upbeat music)
- Lady, I'm in love with you.
- I know.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, you
better slow it down ladies.
Don't forget you're drinking
with the profess...
(Ophelia laughing)
(upbeat music)
- [Francis] Wanna
come live with me?
- No, no, no.
- [Francis] Got my own house.
(everyone clapping)
- Let's hear it for Ruby
and her new boyfriend.
Time to clean up pal,
she's a man eater.
Now, as most of
our regulars know
the generous proprietors
of the Jelly's Club
have started the daily
amateur spotlight
where nubile newbies
can come up on stage
and sh**t their shot.
If our contestant gets
a big round of applause,
she'll get 100 bucks cash,
all the tips you
scumbags throw at her
and we'll cover her tab.
Please welcome to the stage,
Mitzi the titsy blitzy.
(everyone clapping)
(upbeat music)
- She didn't.
- I think maybe she did.
(upbeat music)
(everyone cheering)
(upbeat music)
- Who said no, say baby.
- [DJ] We have a winner.
(Martha laughing)
- Lightweights.
- Look, there's the
b*tches that robbed us.
- I'll handle those h*'s.
- No, no, no, sh,
they're packing heat.
- I got Mace.
- Put that away.
Come on, we need a plan.
- All right big guy,
looks like we're all set.
We'll let you know if
we come across them
k*ller lady bikers.
We don't want those gals
terrorizing you and your
old posse now, do we?
- Thank you.
(phone buzzing)
Belfrie.
- [Sergeant Green]
Belfrie, sergeant Green.
Looks like Tank and Sketch
got loose before we got there.
- Damn.
The thing is I'm driving
a group of seniors
to Atlantic City and
this could get sticky.
- [Sergeant Green] Okay
well watch your back.
Keep moving.
I'll try to find you an escort.
- Okay, copy.
- [Sergeant Green]
We're in the process of
tracking them down.
Odds are we'll find them
before they find you
but stay in touch.
- All right, okay.
(suspenseful music)
- Not too bad for a day's heist.
(suspenseful music)
- Hey, what are you looking at?
- A b*tch with a
hole in her head
if you don't give
us our money back.
- Drop your weapons you
very bad young girls.
Now, where is our money?
And where's my fanny pack?
(g*n banging)
(g*ns banging)
- What in the name of
Driving Miss Daisy
on crack is going on?
I told you to stay on the bus.
I said it over and over again.
- [Ophelia] I got the money back
and then some.
- [Martha] And I
got my fanny pack.
- I don't care.
I don't give a damn
about your fanny pack.
(Brock grunting)
I've had it with you lunatics.
Had it with your
stupid egg salad.
Your stupid potty breaks
and your stupid
back seat driving.
- If I could...
- Zip it.
Shut hells up.
Just shut up.
Now, I should have
stuck with my gut
and not agreed to
this living hell.
I tried everything I could
to keep driving you people.
It's like herding
a box of kittens.
Old a*s crack head kittens.
Now, I am done.
You are on your own.
I will walk my a*s
all the way home
before I endure another
minute of this insanity.
(slow music)
(car hood closing)
- All fixed, just let
me get the paperwork.
- You need a ride home?
- Nah, I'll rent a
car and head back.
- So, what's next for you?
- I don't know.
I'll think of something.
- You know Kurt
will want you back
once he realizes
who you really are.
Red Dog Special Ops Black Unit.
- How did you figure that out?
- Meet Red Dog
Special Ops Gray Unit.
- Really?
Gray unit?
- Team leader.
- Wow, look at you.
So, why did you retire?
- I got older.
It's time to settle down
and I'm loving it.
Speaking of, you need to start
showing old folks some respect.
- Yeah, you know it's
really not like that.
My father died in combat
when I was just a little kid
and my grandparents and
aunts helped raise me.
I had my fill I guess, you know?
Especially after today.
- Give 'em a break.
They were having fun.
Til we were robbed.
- Right?
- You do realize that you
going to be old too one day
if you're lucky.
Life ain't over
when you grow old.
It just means that you,
you got more miles
on the odometer.
Life experience.
Look at me.
Minus a few aches, I'm
74 and still unstoppable.
The secret is to stay
young right here.
So, show some respect.
- Copy that.
(wood banging)
- Did I interrupt your
tender greeting card moment?
(upbeat music)
(Francis laughing)
- [Kurt] Francis?
- Hurry up, get him in.
- [Tank] We got him.
- I'll send you the
coordinates to the rendezvous.
To the rendezvous rende...
Could you have this
burned, please?
Get my chopper to the helipad.
- See if I can get a
charter, it's a little...
- Oh, just humor me.
(slow music)
(phone ringing)
- [Kurt] Oh, it's a
good thing we found you.
You know these air feds
are really something.
- You two just sit
tight, all right?
- If you're good little boys
you just might get a popsicle.
- Now that you kidnapped us
on this damned ice cream truck,
where exactly are you taking us?
- Kidnapped?
- I need you to navigate.
I have absolutely no
idea where we are.
- Sure.
- I hope you three kidnappers
taking us northbound
on I15 through Maryland
towards Lancaster don't hurt us.
- Hey, I'm gonna
need a pit stop.
- You really gonna
do this, Tank?
- You shoulda stayed
in your own lane, pal.
Boss is miffed, that
ain't good for ya.
- Where exactly
are you taking us?
- Shut up.
- What's up with you?
- The shelf above you.
The shelf, look.
- Yeah, why are you taking
the Maryland turnpike
heading north?
Where are you taking us?
- You see?
I told you we should
have took the 179.
Do you even know
where we're going?
(suspenseful music)
- Okay, let's do this.
(suspenseful music)
- Listen to me very closely.
Brock and Teddy
have been kidnapped.
Kidnapped by an evil
group of ice cream men.
Sh sh sh, hold on a second.
(suspenseful music)
(coffee splashing)
(suspenseful music)
- Why is Malachi
Pierce kidnapping us?
When Special Ops
finds out about this
you are in a world of hurt.
They'll find us once somebody
calls the authorities
and tells them we
are in trouble.
- Special Ops?
I thought he was a rent-a-cop.
- I'd like to
report a kidnapping.
- The hell is that?
- They're on the turnpike,
just like he said.
This is tracking Brock's phone.
- Francis, Francis,
where'd you get this rig?
- Say again.
- Who's RV is this?
- Isn't it mine?
- I say we track
these fools down.
- Kurt would never
let us do that.
Get Herta on the horn.
Tell her new man we're
gonna need some backup.
- [Cashier] Change?
Ya d*ck.
(RV engine revving)
- Oh no, oh no, no, oh hell no.
Stop.
Stop.
God dammit.
(suspenseful music)
- Yeah, they're all snug.
- Nice, don't even
try anything funny
or I'll finish you off myself.
- Yeah, good luck with that.
- Good luck with this.
(hand slapping)
- Special Ops, eh?
You a tough guy too?
- Untie me, try me out.
- We're so scared.
(hand slapping)
- What happened to you, Tank?
You were my brother.
You took an oath to fight
the bad guys, not become one.
(fist banging)
- He said, shut up.
- Yeah, I sure did.
Until the Special Ops
decided to dump me
for some young scrubs.
- Age had nothing to do with it.
They dumped you because
you were a thief
and an as*h*le.
But you should have
minded your own business.
- That is such an
ironic statement
coming from someone
who's about to die
because they could not
stay in their lane.
Good evening, gentlemen.
I'm Malachi Pierce.
You know my
associate, Mr. Jagger.
Welcome to an evening
of excruciating t*rture.
- What's up?
- [Malachi] And I think you
have been acquainted already
with Miss Sharp.
- Surprise.
- It's a shame to meet
under such circumstances.
Can't imagine what this
air is doing to our skin
let alone our lungs.
What that's called, that meso,
the thing, the
meso thing we had.
We, we watch a little late
night television together.
Those commercials they just,
too much information.
Personally I had
hoped my stooges here
could have, could
have done the job
in between rehearsals
for Roadhouse The Musical
and then maybe we'd,
we'd, we'd be somewhere.
Had you done your homework
you'd have known
that my organization
isn't normally in the
business of harming people.
(suspenseful music)
(fist banging)
- You're a friend.
You finish him off.
- I'm sorry, pal.
I guess for old
time's sakes, huh?
(metal clanging)
(upbeat music)
- Norman.
- Grandma?
- What on god's green
earth are you doing here?
- Geez, Atlantic
City's dark as sh*t.
(metal clanging)
- And one for the dead.
(oxygen tank exploding)
- Hold tight Starskey,
help's arrived.
Charge.
- Oh, Mitzi.
- I got ya.
(metal clanging)
- Yes, yes.
(upbeat music)
(wood banging)
- Okay, okay.
Love it.
Go, go, go.
- Who do you think you
are carrying on like this?
Your mother's gonna
be beside herself.
(metal clanging)
- Such a pretty girl.
You remind me of
my younger sister.
And I hate my sister.
(metal clanging)
(fists banging)
Running
Running and running
(g*n banging)
(fists banging)
- My butt.
You shot my butt?
(upbeat music)
(shoes stomping)
- Get 'em.
Get 'em.
Get 'em.
Get 'em, get 'em, get 'em.
(upbeat music)
- Belfrie, where you at?
We're here.
(slow music)
(upbeat music)
- Take a right.
- He's gonna make
me kick his a*s.
Slow him down.
(everyone chattering)
- Another word for spicy.
Enzo, 20 to 1.
- 20 to 1.
- My Philly Twirl.
(upbeat music)
(phone clicking)
- [Kirby] Oh look at
that, guys on the left,
look on the left.
(upbeat music)
(ball rolling)
(machines dinging)
- International
kidnapper, Malachi Pierce
was captured outside of
Maryland this evening
by a very unlikely
team of heroes.
(upbeat music)
A group of retirees on
their way to Atlantic City
helped track and arrest the
long time career criminal
and saved the rent-a-cop
who was escorting them.
(everyone chattering)
It just goes to show you
that age is positively
just a number.
(upbeat music)
- [Worker] Belfrie, a
call at the front desk.
Brock Belfrie, please
come to the front desk.
A thousand times before
That if you love a little
Then you can hate a little
Then you can hate a little
Then you can hate a little
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music)
Yes, sir
(upbeat music)
Uh, I touch down,
I touch down
When I touch down,
when I touch down
Okay, I care less
about your hood
And what click you're with
A hundred choker chains
swag on foolishness
Skinny jeans on the
king, that's ludacris
You might see
me with my queen
Shorty's super thick
I'm so sin see I did
it for the have nots
Stack and wrap money
guess I gotta have not
Home city rooting
for me like a mascot
Connecting like
WiFi to a laptop
Flow super throw, ball
like the super bowl
Your flow's weak, yeah people
thinking you should know
I'm old school like
them buy caprises
Treat my solo
black and males
All your boy do
is freak, hey
No time if your attitude
c*ck on tilt, catch me
sliding through the city
Tell the truth,
why you hating me
Being with your man
Falls it's a ring
with the committee
Touch down, in your
town all we do is ball
Touch down, in your
town all we do is ball
Now show out, now
show out, now show out
Now show out, now
show out, now show out
Touchdown, in your
town all we do is ball
Touchdown, in your
town all we do is ball
Let's show out, let's
show out, let's show out
Let's show out, let's
show out, let's show out
The world says your
butt's so sincere
Get my business right,
player taking off this year
Somebody wipe me off,
I gotta cool it down
'Cause when it come
to spitting bars
I don't fool around
I heard your little mix tape
Boy, you do that now
Waving pistols in your video
You a clown
I hit G sharp, bro I
need the newest sound
Ground hold music boy,
I'm too underground
It's that new wave,
fresh like your new Jays
Mix it up, make a
sweet straight koolaid
Touchdown, got
them hands up now
Monday move when I move
Stacking grands up now
Song blast we
deliver the classic
That's a brand,
that's a wrap
Toss some rappers in caskets
Whatever song
I'm a body that
When I'm in your
city show me love
Where the party at
I just touched down
Touchdown, in your
town all we do is ball
Touchdown, in your
town all we do is ball
Let's show out, let's
show out, let's show out
Let's show out, let's
show out, let's show out
Touchdown, in your
town all we do is ball
Touchdown, in your
town all we do is ball
Let's show out, let's
show out, let's show out
Let's show out, let's
show out, let's show out
Hut one and a hut
two and a hut three
Sincere coming through
Hut one and a hut
two and a hut three
Sincere coming through
Hut one and a hut
two and a hut three
Sincere coming through
Hut one and a hut
two and a hut three
Sincere coming through
Touchdown, in your
town all we do is ball
Touchdown, in your
town all we do is ball
Let's show out, let's
show out, let's show out
Let's show out, let's
show out, let's show out
Touchdown, in your
town all we do is ball
Touchdown, in your
town all we do is ball
Let's show out, let's
show out, let's show out
Let's show out, let's
show out, let's show out
- [Speaker] Everyday you
build, you put blocks down.
You guys ever see a mansion?
A big, beautiful mansion?
You gotta build a
foundation, man.
That's what we're doing here.
Understand that you
gotta build the blocks.
(upbeat music)
(crickets chirping)
- Oh, oh, help me, help me.
Help me, god.
Oh, thank god.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I've been stranded
and I've been walking
and walking and walking.
(motorcycle engines revving)
(Curt screaming)
(g*ns banging)
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Special Op: Rent-a-Cop (2026)
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