02x03 - Who Wants a Treaty?

[bunniefuu]

[dogs screaming]

[ship crashes]

♪ Dig this ♪

♪ We're the last hope for the human race ♪

♪ Embark on a journey ♪

♪ Into outer space ♪

♪ Blast off, there's no going back ♪

♪ We're on our way ♪

♪ Dogs in Space! ♪

♪ Woo! ♪

♪ Dogs in Space! ♪

[fast-paced music playing]

[sniffing]

-[exhales sharply]
-Welcome back, Garbage.

[all applauding, cheering]

-Yay, Captain Garbage!
-Garbage!

Garbage!

Oh, thank you, thank you.
Hold your applause.

[record scratches]

Oh, I thought "hold you applause"
meant "keep doing it"?

-Restart your applause!
-The moment's gone, buddy.

Welcome back.

-[sighs]
-Pepper, you know Garbage, right?

I'm better acquainted
with General Basura, but--

Pepper, General Basura

was me in disguise. [laughs]

I thought you were smart.

Oh, it's great to be back!
Oh, look!

I missed this light switch. Uh-oh.

Someone turned the lights
way down by accident.

Don't worry, I got it.

-[whirrs, beeps]
-[gasps]

-[screaming]
-[grunts]

Okay, so I actually prefer
the way I left it.

And someone set the thermostat
to arctic for some reason.

What is this, Penguins in Space ?
[laughs]

-[alarm beeping]
-[all groaning, panting]

Garbage, I'm glad you're back, but...

[sighs]

Oops! Duh.

-Sorry, force of habit.
-It's fine.

-We should get going.
-Absolutely.

-Nomi, take us out.
-Aye aye, Cap... Uh...

[hesitantly] Not-Captain.
Uh, Garbage? Garbage.

Oh... Uh, Stel...

Captain, I'm super sorry.

-Not thinking. Muscle memory.
-Giving orders is muscle memory?

Well, the tongue is a muscle.

[both] Not now, Chonies.

I'm just gonna sit down... Uh, sorry.

Hey, everyone, do what Stella says.

But not because I told you to.

I'm gonna get out of your fur.
All good, Captain?

Okay, bye.

[grunts]

[sighs]

Are you sure you're cool
with staying in Kira's older quarters?

Sure. I mean, I've spent
the last few weeks

being constantly reminded
of my, quote, unquote, "Kira fiasco."

-What's one more thing?
-[buzzing faintly]

-[screams]
-[clinks]

I could build you a bunk in my room.

in fact, I already did.

Chonies, don't worry. I'll be fine.

You should get back out there.
Take it from me.

A Captain can't do
without their Med-Tech Officer.

[chuckles] So glad you're back, Capta...

Garbage, we all missed you.

[sighs]

I missed me, too.

[all gasp]

[adventurous music playing]

-What do you think, Captain?
-Check lots of boxes.

Look at that sky! Oh, those trees!

The air seems so... [sniffs]
clean. [gasps]

This could be the place
that saves everyone on Earth.

[all cheering]

-Fantastic work.
-Yeah!

[engine rumbles]

[grunting]

[gasps]

[exclaims]

This planet checks a lot of [indistinct].

Look at those stinging nettles,
and those [indistinct].

And the air seems so... [sniffs]

Oh! [indistinct] Crew,

this might be the planet
that saves our beloved Frockwisers.

-[gasps]
-Splendid.

[Stella clears throat]

Okay, this is a delicate situation.

We must approach with diplomacy, tact,

-and strategy.
-[Garbage] Hey!

-Get lost! We got here first!
-[gasps]

Looks like we need to get
a few things straight, planet thieves.

More like, you need to get
a few things straight off our planet.

By which I mean, you and your crew!

[clinking]

[gasps] No! No, no, no, no, no, no.

-[grunts]
-Are you the ship's first-in-command?

-My name's--
-I am Captain Stergil,

and I'm already speaking
with your Captain, madam. Shush!

Wha... No. Oh, man. Okay.

I think I see what... [laughs]

Stella's the Captain.
I'm just the former, uh...

-Previous, um, guy.
-Argh!

[softly] I swear I didn't mean
to step on your toes, Captain.

Garbage, you steam-rolled my toes!

You need to stop acting
like you're Captain.

I stuck my neck out for you.

Please don't make me regret it.

I-I didn't meant to undermine you.

I've got your back, I promise.

This is Captain Stella!
First-in-command of the Pluto.

Hero of a thousand battles.
Champion of the underdog.

Champion of the overdog.

Uh... champion of the in-between dog.

Thank you, Garbage.

Well, I'd have my crew list
my achievements,

but that would take too long.
Just to be clear,

we both wish to lay claim
to this planet, correct?

That's right. So,
why don't we talk things--

I say we talk things out!

Okay. I just, uh... Yup.

So, this guy seems...

-[relaxing music playing]
-[slurping]

...charming.

This planet's twice the size of Earth.
We should negotiate.

-I mean, maybe, we can share?
-Great idea, Captain!

-Thanks, Garbage.
-Hey, I know.

While you negotiate,
I could sneak on to their ship,

and dig up some dirt
on these... smockgeezers.

Yeah! Let's fill their ship with dirt!

That'll show 'em who's boss! [grunts]

Guys, try to be useful. Please?

Captain, if I may.
That might actually be a good idea.

[both cheering]

To blackmail them,
or fill their ship with dirt?

-[both] Woo-hoo!
-Neither.

-[both] Aww!
-But if we search their ship,

we might find something that
lets us know what drives their crew.

It could give us an edge.

No, we wouldn't want them
sneaking around behind our backs.

We'll win them over
by understanding their perspective.

Great point, Captain!

Garbage, I appreciate
what you're trying to do,

but supporting me
doesn't mean being a suck-up.

Whatever you say, Captain. 100%.

I'll stop being a suck-up.
Great advice! Thank you.

[sighs in despair]

Okay, team, let's be useful.
I'll test the acidity of the soil.

Nomi, you check
the lake's ecosystem, and...

Ed! What are you doing?

Stella said we shouldn't break
on to their ship and look for dirt.

Yeah, I know, but she never said

anything about sneaking
on to their ship and looking for loot.

I feel like it was implied.

Oh, "feel," "implied,"

eh, it seems like kind of a grey area.

-And that's my favorite color area.
-Argh!

[softly] Ed! We've gotta get outta here
before we get caught!

Absolutely. But who knows
when that'll be?

-Hi, guys! I came to help.
-[both yelp]

How is being on the ship
helping us not be on the ship?

Uh, the sooner Ed steals some valuables,

-the sooner he'll leave?
-Can't argue with that.

[sighs] Ed, steal faster!

-[surging]
-Captain Stergil,

your Tactical Officer Marta said that
you had to abandon your planet?

Hostile invaders invaded.
You escaped, and--

Mm...

Clearly, you're new
to negotiating, Captain.

So, before we take aim,

allow me to give you some pointers?

Ah, sure.

Hah! First fail! You just conceded to me.

Number one rule of negotiating,
never concede anything!

Uh-huh. And, uh,

what's the number two rule
of negotiating?

[scoffs] I'm not gonna tell you.

[inhales sharply] Unless
you let us keep this planet.

Boom! Second rule of negotiating,

make everything a demand.

Captain Stergil, maybe we should

find a middle ground?

Wait, I got it. The perfect idea.

How about we try and find
some kind of ground? In the middle.

-[whirrs, beeps]
-[all gasp]

Oh, man, that is so cool!

Yikes! [chuckles]

How much does this guy love himself?

Uh, I mean, yeah.

Yikes. I would never
want something like that.

Look, I get it.
You want to save your kind,

-you wanna be their hero.
-Uh-uh.

-I am their hero.
-Uh-huh.

Well, if you let us share this planet,

you saved not just your species,

-[whispers] but ours.
-Wait.

-So, I'd be a double hero?
-You sure would.

-Right, everyone?
-They'd sing songs about you.

-Yup, songs.
-[gasps]

A double hero.

[heroic music playing]

-Uh, Captain Stergil?
-[chuckles] It's all right.

You just made him fantasize
about being a hero.

Yeah, I recognize the look.

-Single tear on the way?
-Yes.

In three, two...

and there it is.

[both sigh]

We should get coffee after this.

Check this out.
This guy's obsessed

with some lady
from a different species.

Huh! Wow.

Imagine being that guy.

[clicks, whirring]

Ooh, a secret door.

[all yelp]

-[chain rattling]
-Oh!

[gasps]

[beeps]

-[clangs]
-[gasps]

Is this for making waffles
out of their enemies?

-Ew!
-[clanging]

Huh? [straining]

Help! I'm stuck! It's eating me!

[screams] So sticky! So minty!

-[weapon powers up]
-[groans]

Guys, these aren't weapons,
they're t*rture instruments.

Oh, I knew these guys were shady!

[whimpering]

[suspenseful music playing]

[babbles]

-[all] Aww!
-This settles it!

Trapping cute creatures
is definitely a bad guy thing.

We gotta warn Stella.

[whimpering]

So, we're agreed.

Earth takes the northern hemisphere,

and the Frockwisers take the south.

I'm so pleased we were
able to come to an understanding.

-Yes, we are pleased--
-I have saved you!

-You're welcome.
-Just sign on the dotted line

and we have a treaty.
This is historic!

Captain Stella, do not sign that!

Unless it is a declaration of w*r!

-What are you talking about?
-Look what we found on their ship.

You went on their ship?

Yeah, to do what you asked.

Which was to not go on their ship!

No, to get Ed off the...

Why does it matter?
Look at these! [yelps]

-[whimpers]
-Garbage!

-[clanging]
-The Frockwisers' planet

was invaded by w*r-mongering aliens.

Stergil's species commandeered
some of their warships to escape.

[cringing] Why?

These horrific devices
were used on our species.

We never used them ourselves.
We don't even know how.

But they were in a hidden room.

'Cause they're not nice to look at?

Captain Stergil, I can explain.

This is a gargantuan betrayal!

Glad to know how dogs define "loyalty."

Captain, they're lying.

Yeah, they had a cute,
little alien baby in a cage!

-[all gasp]
-Wait.

What do you mean, "had"?

[chomps, growls]

[roars]

And you're saying these things are...

-[roars]
-[all scream]

Invincible planet-eating
living weapons, yes!

We must protect our new home!

Wait! Let's strategize together!

No! I will be the hero!
I will save the day!

You can't be trusted, dog.

Frockwisers, attack!

[action music playing]

[chomping]

[gulps]

[roars]

Well, that was my plan. Anyone?

Captain, I have an idea. What if--

[grumbles]

Captain, tactically speaking,
this planet is now clearly a lost cause.

I think we should hear Garbage's plan.

And why should we trust him now?

Garbage's plan
will no doubt be deeply, deeply flawed,

But right now,
I'd say that's better than nothing.

[all scream]

Captain, I know I made things worse,

-but--
-Garbage! Planet being eaten!

-What's your plan?
-Trust me.

[grunts]

-[clunks]
-[gasps]

-[both grunting]
-Hi.

Can I have a word
with your Captain, please?

[roars]

-Huh. Maybe they k*lled him.
-Nomi!

Sorry. They probably didn't. Right?

-[chuckles] Whoa!
-What is that?

[roars]

You're welcome, planet.

How'd you get him not to k*ll you?

-Your negotiations usually end in--
-Running for our lives?

-You are correct, sir.
-I kinda miss it.

-I really don't miss it.
-But this time,

I won him over by

understanding his perspective.

[sobbing]

I just wanna make her proud of me.

I get it, man. I get it.

A captain like Stergil always needs
to prove that he's the hero.

But if he doesn't let go of that,

he'll never actually be one.

Wow. Sounds like

Stergil really figured something out.

Uh, I wouldn't be so sure.

That baby ate a bunch of this planet
thanks to you!

-Stergil, they saved us!
-Me! Me saved us!

I thought we had a breakthrough, Stergil.

-We cried together.
-No, we didn't!

I never cry! Never! Not even as a baby!

[gasps]

[roars]

-[all scream]
-[groans]

Marta, come on! Hurry!

Cowards! Run away!

This over-confident beast
is no match for me!

Stergil, we have to go!

No! I'm not letting anyone else
rob me of glory!

[roars]

For the Frockwisers!

Ugh! That guy was the worst!

I'm glad you tried to reason with him.
Even though it didn't work,

sharing a planet with Stergil would
definitely have been a lost cause.

[sighs]

Speaking of lost causes,

I guess it's back to the tea room for me.

Nah. You should definitely
stay away from the tea shop.

You're way less dangerous here.

Thanks, Captain.

-[burps, babbles]
-[rumbles]

[outro theme music playing]