02x08 - Garbage's Horrorscope

[bunniefuu]

[dogs screaming]

[ship crashes]

♪ Dig this
We're the last hope of the human race ♪

♪ Embark on a journey ♪

♪ Into outer space ♪

♪ Blast off, there's no going back
We're on our way ♪

♪ Dogs in Space! ♪

♪ Woo! ♪

♪ Dogs in Space! ♪

I'm here with Captain Stella

who dove into the belly
of a gross, glowing space worm

to save her crew.

Captain, is it true your team was asleep
during the attack

-Yes, the worm's glow lulls anyone...
-[Nomi grunts]

...that looks directly at it to sleep.

Really? So why weren't you asleep?

[inhales] Because Fran, I closed my eyes.

-Wow! You piloted the Pluto...
-[fighting sounds]

...and destroyed the worm blind?

You all must feel so lucky
to work with Captain Stella!

-Absolutely. Yes.
-Uh, can you turn off those cameras?

You know, when I was captain,
I too defeated a... [grunts]

Anything you'd like to say to the dogs
of the M-Bark, Captain Stella?

Only that dogs look out for each other,
no matter what.

Doesn't matter if you're a captain
or a slime shoveler.

If we have each other's backs,

it'll bring us a step closer
to finding our new home.

[Rosy] And cut!

Phew! Being on camera is stressful!

Time to relax with a lavender bath.

Or I could just...

No, Loaf! We have a mission to--

[Loaf snores]

[Loaf continues snoring]

[snores] Nachos.

You sure this is gonna wake him?

Good workout always wakes me up.

Well, technically it makes me sleepy,

but my post-workout snack routine
is a huge sugar rush.

Right. Okay.
I have to go meet with Pistachio Soup.

Ooh, check out the bigshot hanging out
with the Head of the Council. Ha.

You saved us!

You deserve to be interviewed as the hero

and have it broadcast into every room
on the M-Bark. [groans]

[Loaf continues snoring]

You ready to wake up, Loaf?

[groans] Oh, I, I'm awake,
I'm awake, I'm awake.

Welcome to the "Bounce Like A Bouncer:
An Exercise Video" with me, Jerry.

Let's do our first move:
The Check Your Perimeter For Punks.

And here we go. Left! And right!
And left! And right! And left!

-[yawns] [moans]
-And right! And left! And right!

And left! And right! And left! And right!

And left! And right!
And pat down! And pat down!

And pat down! And pat down! And pat down!

And pat down! And pat down! And pat down!

-Boo!
-[gasps] [grunts] Stardust?

Heh, heh, did you miss me, Garbage?

How are you, what are you,
I never thought, ah!

I missed you too. Bring it in!

-Oh. [grunts]
-[laughs]

Sorry, can't resist a little prank.

Loaf! Loaf! Look!

Yeah! You're doing great!

Why can't Loaf see you? Are you a ghost?

[gasps] Did they k*ll you?
I'll avenge you, I promise!

No, no, no. I've never been more alive.

-I'm just astral projecting.
-[gasps]

Loaf can't see or hear me
unless I want him to.

[gasps] Astral pr-, it, it worked?
You have powers now?

Of course. Don't tell me you became
like the rest of the M-Bark cynics,

thinking I was mad to believe
in the true power of the zodiac.

What? No!

I never thought the whole idea
of zodiac magic was nonsense.

Wait, if you're back,

[gasps] that means you found
a planet for us! Woohoo!

Uh, I, I'm working on it, working on that.

[chuckles] Work in progress.

Uh, I'm actually here
because I read your horoscope.

Whoa!

Oh, silly me,
you don’t speak star sign language.

Let me translate it.
"An old friend will come to your aid."

That's clearly me! I'm old and friendly.
So, what do you need, Captain?

Is the soda in the captain's lounge
still lukewarm?

I bet I can fix that for you.

Or, oh, I know,
where's my old captain's jacket?

Uh c-, c-, captain stuff is boring
compared to your adventures.

Tell me how you got your astral powers.

How about I show you?

[gasps] Whoa.

How are we back here?

-We're not. Well, you're not. See?
-[gasps]

[laughs]

[gasps, yelps]

Remember this?
The day I made you a captain,

the thing you yearned for
since the very moment we met

finally yours.

Uh-huh, yeah, that, that was great.

Not impressed? Fine.
I know what'll knock your socks off.

You can make a theme park ride anywhere?

I want that power!

Ha! You think you're jealous now?

Get a load of what else I can do. Hah!

Ah! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
[laughs] Woo! [laughs]

Whoa! Whoa! [laughs] Woohoo! Hoo! Hoo!

Ha-ha! Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Woohoo! [gasps]

Back on Earth, all they did

was use the position of stars
to try to predict feelings.

It's basic, boring.

But if you control the stars,
you control feelings.

Of course to master others' emotions,
you must master your own.

I wept for 400 hours,
drinking only my tears.

All I ate were the bugs
that flew into my sobbing mouth.

They offered me lunch. I said no!

Whoa! I could never turn down lunch.

Is that you? You look awesome!

No, that's, uh, Susan.
I'm, uh, on a different peak.

But look,
you see those floaty marbly things?

Those are star fragments.

The more you amass,
the more power you have.

With these, you can play anyone's emotions
like a fine-tuned piano,

make your enemies love you,
your friends hate you,

even make an entire species
want to share their planet with you.

[gasps] You found a species
to share a planet with us?

Well, uh, well, not yet.

But I did, uh, convince
a planet of tiny frogs to worship me.

Wanna see?

Sh-, yeah! But wait, show me your peak.

You're projecting, right?
So where's your real body right now?

Woohoo! Ah-ha-ha!

-[grunts, groans]
-[laughs]

I know, I know. Seeing my journey
must have overwhelmed you

with ideas of what you want.

Not to worry. Let's brainstorm
at your captain's quarters.

Race ya!

Wait, what? No! Stardust!

[pants]

Garbage? Ha! He couldn't handle
my level of fitness! [groans]

-Hmm.
-Ha! So yeah, funny story,

but it'd take like three hours to tell.

So short version is, I lost my captaincy.

-But--
-You lost my captaincy?

Garbage, who did this to you?
Was it what's-his-face?

That old Cheery, Jolly, Gladdy?

No! It wasn't Happy! It was my fault.

Please don't be mad. I'm gonna earn back
a ship of my own one day.

You don't need to earn it.
I already gave it to ya.

Hmm. So Stella's Captain of the Pluto?

What do you even call her? Captain Stella?
That sounds weird.

She's a great captain!
And I still play a vital role.

I'll prove it. Come talk to the crew
and you'll see how important I am.

Hmm.

Nomi! Pepper!
Just the teammates to talk me up.

You guys remember the globby alien mission
when I heroically saved--

Yup! Stella was all,
"Not today, glob jerks!"

Then took 'em down like surprise!
Flame-thrower!

Ah! Flame-thrower! Flame-thrower!
Flame-thrower!

[sh**ting sounds, laughs]

I agree. Captain Stella's expert moves
deserve recognition.

-Hmm.
-But what about when I--

Wait! You were there? Huh.
I thought you were off sick that day.

-Nomi, Garbage was definitely there.
-Thank you.

He made packed lunches, remember?

That's not what I... I did more than...
[groans]

Hmm, an important role?
Sounds like more of a bread roll to me.

You still carry pastries in your pocket?

[chomps]

Chonies! I'm here to help in my usual
very heroic way.

Um, we're good.

But we could really use
some of those delicious sandwiches!

Ugh!

Yo Garbage! Wanna help me out?

Sure! I take it there's something
only I can help with?

Yup! I want to sell you
some super rare tech I... found.

I'll give you a discount
because you're the Pluto's best,

uh, [chuckles], wait,
do you even have a title anymore?

Of course Garbage has a title!
He's my best friend!

-Hmm.
-Uh, they're a bit busy, but come with me.

I'll show you something
that'll blow your astral mind!

Ta-da! See? I got a reputation.

As a tea slinger?

Dogs look out for each other,
no matter what.

Doesn't matter if you're a captain
or a slime shoveler.

If we have each other's backs,

it'll bring us a step closer
to finding our new home.

You're a true hero, Captain Stella.

Keep all this up, and you may have
a seat on the Council one day.

-[gasps]
-[squeals] Congrats!

-Garbage, I'm glad you're here.
-[gasps]

Can you make me a new matcha?

Barclay can't seem to get
my cheekbones right in the foam art.

[growls]

Oh, uh, ha-ha,
you know I don't work here, right?

Of course. Of course.

Pistachio? If I may,
Garbage is a vital crew member.

Whoa! Uh, I just realized
I forgot to do my cooldown stretches.

Don't want to cramp! Oh! [grunts]

Bye!

Uh, okay.

Well, I have more ideas
on how captains can improve crew safety.

[Stella groans]

Maybe my ideas are not good enough.
I mean I'd like to re-re-revise them.

I'll- I'll catch up with you. Yeah.

Okay. But don't take too long.

Looks like someone
can't handle their oolong.

Ugh! [pants] Hmm.

God, what was that?
Get it together, Stella!

Stardust, I...

Do you remember why I put you
on my crew, hmm?

I saw a dog who let nothing stand
between him and what he wanted.

What happened to that dog?

Where's the dog who looked up to me
and wanted to be a hero?

I do still want to be a hero!

And I'll make captain again.
I just... [sighs]

You're lucky I'm here.
I have the power to fix this,

but only if you
truly want to be a captain.

Well, yeah, of course.

I mean when a position becomes available,
I would love to be a captain again.

[blows raspberry] You don’t mean it.

If I'd a known you were happy
being a lap dog,

-I'd never have given you--
-No! I do! When I'm ready, uh--

Make me believe you.

Yes! Fine!
Of course, I want to be a captain!

I miss my chair and the captain's discount
and calling the shots!

And being looked up to!

I just think I blew my shot.

Nonsense. All you need is the right
opportunity to prove yourself, right?

Then leave it to me, boy.

What? I was just having a heart-to-heart
with my invisible friend.

-Okay team, let's start by testing the--
-[Garbage clears throat]

Hey crew? I just want to say

temporarily being a non-captain with you
has been super humbling.

I have learned a lot.
And someday soon, thanks to you,

I'll be a better captain of,
let's face it, probably the Saturn.

Wrinkles is way past retirement.

I admire the optimism, Garbage.

But if you want to make captain again,
focus on the mission.

We don't want to get back late
for Loaf's potluck.

I made quiche.

[sighs] Chonies,
when I make captain again,

I want my most loyal friend by my side.
What do you say--

-[Chonies growls]
-Huh?

[continues growls]

What's wrong, Chonies?
Why are you growling at me?

[barks] Stay away from Garbage!

He's my best friend, not yours!
Back off! [growls]

[gasps] Let's get Chonies to the ship.

[growls]

And team, be careful.
Something's not right.

-[growls]
-Ah!

[growls]

-[growls] Ah!
-[gasps]

[Nomi grunts]

[both grunt]

[Nomi screams]

-[gasps] Ed! We have to help Nomi!
-That's not Nomi.

That's Fillarula Bankswap,
disguised as Nomi,

here to turn me in for a bounty.

-Huh?
-You're not Garbage. Who are you?

-[grunts]
-That's not a real face, is it?

Take off that mask!

-[Chonies growls]
-[moans]

-Garbage is not a liar!
-[Stella] What is ha-, happening?

[Nomi yells]

They're okay, they're okay,
they're okay, they're okay.

I'm okay. They're okay, they're okay.
I'm okay, I'm okay.

They're okay, they're okay,
they're okay, they're okay...

[moans]

-Nice flame-thrower! [laughs]
-Oh great! Flammable sand!

The best tactical option
is to eliminate you.

All of you.

-Ah!
-[Ed and Pepper grunting]

[gasps]

-[Ed grunts]
-[Pepper] Get off me!

[gasps, grunts]

Crew. I don’t know w-what to do.

-How-how do I fix this? Uh, I don't know.
-[Nomi laughs]

-[Chonies growling]
-[Pepper grunts]

Stella, listen. I need you.

We need you. You're our captain.

Oh no. [gasps]

Ugh!

[everyone fighting and grunting]

Stop! Stop! This isn't what I want!

What are you talkin' about?

This is exactly what you asked me for.

An opportunity to prove yourself.

Not by taking it from Stella!

You can't get what you want
without taking it.

Go on boy, save your crew, be a hero.

Then thank me later. [sneezes]

Ugh! I'm not doing this for me!

-[Ed growls]
-Chonies! Buddy! You want a hug?

Garbage! Garbage! Garbage!

Garbage! Garbage!

[laughs] Oh!

[grunts]

You're blowing my cover, fake face!

[grunts]

-Hey, Pepper. Whatcha doin'?
-[growls]

Oh, cool, cool. Well...

[gasps]

-Ah!
-[yelps]

[grunts]

[Garbage] Sorry.

[grunts]

Eh, is the cr-crew okay?

Yes. Now come on. I got you.

Stella! You okay?

You've been in there for hours.
I need to tell you.

Oh, team, I am so sorry.

Wait, Loaf, why are you on crutches?

I fell in surprise
when I saw how hurt everyone was.

Hey, Pepper looks okay!

I dislocated both my shoulders.

-Ugh.
-Stell, we're fine.

This look
is totally upping my fake ID game.

I let you all down.
I didn't lead, I didn't look out for you.

I don't know why it happens,
but I know that I froze.

I didn't do my job. And you all got hurt.

I won't let that happen again.

Wait, Stella. Can we talk?

Garbage, if it weren't for you...

Everyone, next mission's tomorrow morning.
Be there on time.

She said be here on time, right?

And we're here, on time.
Did we get the wrong time?

-[Pistachio Soup] Hmm.
-Council dog.

Why are you... where's Stella?

She's okay.
But, um, she told us what happened.

-She decided to step down...
-[gasps]

-...and recommended you to replace her.
-[gasps]

What? No! This is a mistake!

I understand this feels sudden.

But from what she told me
of how you saved the day,

it seems
I might have been wrong about you.

Now chop, chop,
you have a mission to get to, Captain.

What?

[outro theme music playing]