01x03 - Coffin Fit

[bunniefuu]

I need someone in my life.

I need a girl to hold tight.

Someone to make me feel, make me feel
alright.

Somebody help me, yeah.

Somebody help me now.

Won't somebody tell me what I've done
wrong?

Sleepy Joe.

Sleepy Joe.

Breakfast?

It's twenty past six.

Breakfast at six.

Teaser half past four.

I'm not spending all my day in kitchen
like pigs to feed.

I said not to pull them right across,
didn't I?

Sorry.

You can rest your head on the corner of
your bed You can watch the world go by But

you're never gonna see what the other
people see If you're always gonna be a

Sleepy Joe Rise and shine Sleepy Joe There
are places to go There are windows to

clean up the waste Mr. Greengrass,
what are you doing out of bed?

I was thinking of going for a five mile
rung and looking for me clothes.

Your clothes are quite safe with me.

Look, all I needed were a good night's
sleep.

I'm as right as rain now, well,
as right as I'll ever be.

I'm sure Dr. Omarade will be delighted to
hear that when he does his ward round.

I'll be back before then.

I've got to go to the station to collect
something and he can't wait.

I'm sure it can.

But if needs be, Mr. Hopkirk will fetch it
for you.

I'm sure he will, but you see,
I won't be long.

No, you won't, because you're not going.

Come on, Mr. Greengrass, back to bed.

You don't understand, sister.

Back to bed.

Look, all I want... Back to bed.

Oh, Joey, get down.

He's all right.

Tea's in the pot.

You don't have any coffee, do you?

What's wrong with tea?

Nothing.

Thank you.

When you finish, you can wash up.

Hot water's in kettle.

Right.

Morning.

Morning.

Sister Bridget said something about a
package.

Yeah, yeah.

Look, I want it brought straight back in,
because

I'm not supposed to
let it out of my sight.

I'll see what I can do.

I won't make it worth your while.

No, you don't have to do that.

Mind you, I might have to pay some old
petrol money.

Yeah, I thought you might.

Look, I've only got this foreign money,
because I had a bit of an attack on the

plane, and I had another one on the train,
so I wasn't able to go to the bank,

but if you take it round there,
they'll watch it and change it.

Tell me, monster.

There's only one thing about the package,
like, I think it best if...

nobody else knows about it, you know,
because it's a bit, well, personal.

Trust me.

You sound like a doctor.

What on earth is that?

Obviously not the Beatles.

Good morning, doctor.

Were you in pain?

No, I was in the bath.

I, er, forgot where I was.

You are in the bathroom that's reserved
for use by patients.

That's why there's a sign on the door
saying, Patience Bathroom.

Sorry, mention.

The digs I were in last night were like
something out of the Dark Ages.

I smelt like I spent the evening in a pub
and then slept in a chit shop.

Well, I'm sure you've had more experience
of that than I have.

Well, I also came across a rather fine
specimen of Cemex Electrolaris.

Well, in that case, staff nurse Taylor
will take the appropriate action.

Excuse me.

I didn't recognise you without your
stethoscope.

Look, if you're looking for somewhere to
stay, talk to Ken Ockirk.

Oh, I did.

That's how I wound up at Coe Comfort Farm.

Any other suggestions?

Well, I should avoid mentioning bed bugs
to Maitrean, even in Latin.

She's got a bit of a thing about them.

Shall I take those to the laundry for you?

Why?

Well, you've got a change, haven't you?

Enjoy your bath.

Do you have it?

Yeah.

I need a hand with this.

Oh, dear.

I think you might need a bigger trolley.

KNOCK ON DOOR Come in.

You wanted to see me?

Oh, yes, indeed I did.

Come in, come in, come in, come in.

Please, sit down.

Well, I've spoken to Jim Alway.

And he won't be coming back for some time,
I'm afraid.

Possibly not at all.

Oh, dear.

I did wonder when I visited him.

He didn't look well.

No.

I thought you'd like to know as soon as
possible.

So, that's one more of the old guard gone.

Not many of us left now.

Oh, I'm part of the old guard,
am I?

I'm sorry.

I was attacked.

Sorry.

I should have said, longer serving members
of the staff.

I'm not sure that's much better.

Though I suppose I am the longest serving.

Next to you and Dr Alway.

I'll miss him.

We all will.

Right, hang on a sec.

OK.

Right, this way.

Oi!

Oi, Alan!

Oh, you've knocked the head off it.

What are you doing?

Here, get it off.

It's a coffin.

Well, I can see that.

What's going on, Ken?

Oh,
a patient up on Milner and Mr Greengrass

asked us to pick this
up from the station.

It's a coffin.

Well, your patient may leave here in a
coffin, but they don't usually arrive in one.

Get an undertaker to deal with it.

But Mr Greengrass asked us... Look,
I'll deal with Mr Greengrass.

Do you want me to phone the undertakers?

Let's not be too hasty, OK?

This Greengrass has got a wad that thick.

Yeah, but Mr Middleditch doesn't have to
know.

Plenty more where that came from.

You see, the trouble is, Mr Middleditch,
that my sister's dying wish to come back

to Yorkshire, and I promised her
faithfully that I'd actually stay with her.

Well, I'm sorry, but we can't keep the
coffin here.

Oh, you're worried it'll frighten away
some of your customers.

It's hospital policy.

I'm not even sure what the legal position
is.

I've got all the papers, you know,
from Barbados.

I've got the death certificate and
everything.

Well, the sister has it in me suitcase.

This is North Yorkshire, Mr Greengrass,
not the Caribbean.

We do things differently here,
I'm afraid.

I'm sure you do, but when Isabelle...
we're on her deathbed, I mean,

she begged me not
to leave her side until

she was buried six
foot under Yorkshire soil.

Well, I'm sure she'd understand that
things have changed since your illness.

And I promise you that your sister is in
safe hands.

Right, I'll leave it here till they know
what's what.

Just keep yourself still, mate.

You'll be all right.

OK.

I'll be straight back for the other two.

But they look pretty bad.

It won't be long.

Come on, try again.

Get this open.

No, it won't.

The Faberge will be here any moment.

Hey, look, relax.

It's all right.

She needs help.

Well, we'll have her anytime.

OK.

Nurse Hopkirk, can you bring the telephone
over for Mr Greengrass?

We've got to make arrangements for my
sister's funeral.

Were you close?

Yeah, on and off.

More off than on.

You know,
they say blood's thicker than water, but

you'll probably know
about that being in the trade.

Sorry, ma'am.

Morning, please.

Doctor, your lights are up.

There's a flag going down the street.

What's that like?

Fishing.

What do you mean, ours?

No, I mean, it's right by the dock.

It stinks.

What have we got here?

Trash out on the Ashfordly Road.

Here's Laurie.

What about the other car?

And his daughter.

I went to the brigade to cut him out.

I'm going back for him.

What sort of injuries?

Not to say.

The last looked bad.

I could go in and say something.

No, no, no, no.

It ought to be me, really.

Why?

Well, after what happened on your first
day, I don't think that's very fair.

This time I'll have the ride equipped.

Doctor!

Look, I need to deal with this.

Go on.

But call if you need any help.

Mr. Middleditch wants you to take to the
undertakers.

Look, what if the undertakers sort of make
the arrangements, but Isabelle can stop

here just for a bit, you know,
so she feels I'm Andy if she wants out?

You know what I mean, spiritually.

I know it's going to
cause you probably a

bit of trouble, mate,
so I'll tell you what.

Look, let me make it if you want.

Here you are, mate.

I just hope I don't lose my job.

Seeing this press in family circumstances,
she can stay for 24 hours.

Thanks, Kenny.

You've got a big heart.

Mind you, there's plenty of room for it.

I'm afraid she's going to cry.

I'm afraid it's me again.

Was that real bad, Penny?

Are they still trapped in the car?

Yes.

Can you do anything for the lads?

She's in a real bad state.

What's her name?

Carol.

She's 14.

Her father's Robert.

I'll see what I can do.

I'm a doctor.

Can I...?

Ah, you're better off around the other
side.

All right.

Hello, Robert.

Carol.

My daughter's cherished.

This is a bit of a mess, isn't it?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hold it, hold it!

Let's get some timber if you're getting
drunk at all.

Can you tell me why you're feeling the
worst pain?

My leg!

OK, let's have a look.

It looks like you fractured your femur.

That's your thigh bone.

What I'll do is give you something that
should take the pain away.

Just a quick injection.

OK.

How are you feeling, Robert?

OK?

Fine.

It's just my ribs.

How's the pain when you keep still?

Not so bad.

It is when you move the car.

I'd have to do that to get you out.

It hurts really bad.

It won't be a moment.

The girl's got a fractured femur.

I can't see her lower legs.

She could be losing a lot of blood.

I need to get her out as soon as possible
or it could be bad.

You mean she could lose her leg.

She could lose her life.

Dr. Alway never fusses like this.

He just gives me the repeat prescription.

Well,
Dr. Alway's going to be away for a bit and

we all have our own way of doing things,
don't we?

Right.

How long have you been having these pains?

Oh, it's been years, but it's just
indigestion.

But you said it was much worse last night.

I suppose so.

But my husband and I, we've got this new
business.

It's a lot of hard work, so we're eating
late and that.

Dr. Alway says that probably sets it off.

Did you take anything for the pain?

I had some indigestion pills I get from
the chemist.

Right, but they didn't make any
difference.

No, that's why I came to see you.

Well, seeing as you are here,
I'd like to run a couple

of tests just to make sure
that we know what's going on.

I don't see why.

Well, maybe we can come up with a more
effective treatment for you.

Shall I make an appointment with
reception?

No.

No, we can do them today.

I can't.

We won't take long, and I really think you
should have the tests, Mrs. Attica.

Spot of a cramp there, Mr. Greengrass.

Oh, yes, it's terrible, because it's not
just going up and down, it's going across

as well, so I thought I'd see if I could
walk it off.

You can fill this first.

I love an optimist.

I'm Kilgiram out.

I spy Colonel Pepper and his money he was
counting.

I rattle on the pistols and I drew forth
my saber.

Grind, stand, and deliver, for I am the
only seer.

I'm ushering him down, down.

Wack for the daddy, ah.

Wack for the daddy, ah.

There's whiskey in the jar.

The gold and silver coins, they look so
bright and shiny.

All right, they won't stray away.

Sister!

I know it's not your birthday,
but would you like to take the sample?

Mrs. Atticliffe.

Right, it's Staff Nurse Taylor.

I'll take you through for your tests.

There's a lot of fuss about nothing.

Doctor.

We've some more casualties from a car
crash due in.

Do you really need that test done now?

Yes, otherwise I wouldn't have asked for
it.

It's Sheila Atticliffe.

She's one of Doctor Alway's regulars.

Well, it's a shame he missed the heart
problem.

I'd be very surprised if he did.

Doctor Alway doesn't usually miss much.

Well, the ECG should tell us.

I haven't half missed you.

It's been ever so quiet since you went
away.

Yeah, don't worry about it, David.

I'm sure you'll make sure that things will
soon be back to normal.

Well, you never said your sister was out.

No, well, like a bit sudden.

What did she have then?

Is it like the same as you?

I don't really like to talk about it,
David, but...

What I want you to do is to get the lorry,
take it

around to Casualty,
and ask for a man called Ken Hopkirk.

He's a short fellow with a big...
and he wears a sort of brown overall.

All right, and when you've done that,
I want you to take this number,

ring that number in Harrogate,
and when they answer, just tell them that

Mr. Greengrass wants to talk to them about
the arrangements for the funeral.

Well, what about Mr. Scripps?

I don't want to involve him.

She won't do all that keen on him,
you know.

Did you bring the tools out so far?

Oh, yeah, yeah, they're in the bag.

Oh, yeah, a hammer, some pinchers.

David, you don't have to do a stock take.

Put them under the cupboard.

I'll take the whisky.

Not too much noise.

There's people drowned asleep.

I'll take the bottle, thank you.

The other one.

You should be working for MI5.

Merciful hour.

Ah, good God.

Get that animal out of my ward.

Go on, go on with the both of you.

Visiting hours for you are between two and
four, and the dog stays outside.

Mr.

Greengrass, you are turning into what
Matron calls one of those patients.

When faced with one of those patients,
sometimes the only option is heavy sedation.

It's not a bad idea.

I think you could do with a bit of a rest.

Here, Caro, hold my hand.

That's right.

OK, they've stopped.

It's all right.

Doctor, is there anything else you can do?

I mean, every time we move, it sets her
off again.

I've given her another dose of morphine,
but I can't guarantee it'll work.

Can you get a message to the hospital for
me?

I should be able to.

Can you tell them I need a cylinder of
Entonox as soon as possible?

Entonox?

That's right.

Is that going to work?

I mean, the injection's made no
difference.

It's all right, Caro.

Let's go.

Right, um... This isn't good news,
I'm afraid.

The ECG results show that you've actually
had a mild heart attack.

I can't have.

The pains that you felt in your chest,
they weren't indigestion.

They were what we call a
coronary thrombosis, and I'm

afraid that it's done some
damage to part of your heart.

There's got to be a mistake.

I'd know if I had a heart attack.

Well, heart attacks aren't all the same.

It's not unusual for people
to just have the sort of

pain in the chest that you had last night,
you see.

There's nothing wrong with me today.

There is.

You're just not aware of it at the moment.

The results show that
your heart is in an unstable

condition,
so we need to do something about that.

Is there something I can take for it?

No.

No, you're going to have to come into
hospital.

You need at least a fortnight's complete
bed rest.

That's the only way we can make you
better.

Your heart needs time to recover.

But I can't.

I've got things to do.

Listen to me, Sheila.

You could have another heart attack at any
time.

You can't pretend this hasn't happened.

OK.

Right, I'll go up to the ward and warn
them that you'll be coming up.

Yes, we're very lucky, Mr Green.

I thought that's just a broken rim.

Doctor.

I'll get an X-ray just to check,
though.

Can you make a start by cleaning up those
abrasions, please?

Dr. Cherryton wants a cylinder of Entonox.

There's a girl trapped up there.

She's in a lot of pain.

Well, he's going to need something
stronger than Entonox.

Then that was the message from the police.

Look, I don't suppose you'd take it out to
him, would you?

I can't leave the department.

Well, there's something we can't handle
here.

I think you're going to be more use-help
than Dr Cherryton.

I'm sorry, Doctor, but if it's just carrying
a cylinder of gas... No, no, no, no.

It's more than that.

Dr Cherryton's already
lost a patient in a similar

situation,
and I don't want that to happen again.

And you're an experienced casualty nurse.

I can't tell him what to do.

Well, I hope you're not going to have to.

Don't worry.

I'll square it with Matron.

Go on.

Izzy, have you seen Mrs Attergliff?

I sent her in to you.

Yeah, but did you see her come back out
again?

I'll check if I've got the notes back.

No, I've got the notes.

I'm looking for the patient.

That's funny.

We usually lose the notes.

I heard you said to bring Laurie around
and ask for you.

Who, me or yours?

To phone someone in Arrogate.

What do you reckon he's up to?

I don't know.

But if the organ grinder won't tell us,
maybe we should ask the monkey.

You're here for grain grass?

Yeah, that's right.

Right, well, I'm up, Kirk.

Oh, right, right.

He told me he'd given you the number of,
er... What's his name in Arrogate?

Haven't got it on you, have you?

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, asked me to give them a call.

What, about a funeral?

Yeah, but that's our little secret.

You wanted enter marks?

Yes, thanks.

Just a moment.

What's the diagnosis?

Fraction femur and acute shock.

I don't dare give her any more morphine.

Is this checking?

I did think of trying a femoral nerve block,
but I've only ever done one in theatre.

It could k*ll her if you get the artery.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Can you reach the nerve?

I'm not sure.

What do you think?

I thought it was a young girl in a lot of
pain.

Let's do it.

You're all right, it won't move.

I'm just going to cut away your skirt at
the top here.

It's only so uniform, eh?

OK, now the doctor's going to try and give
you another injection.

A different one.

But he needs to reach the top of your leg
here, all right?

Right, Carol, I need you to be very brave
for me.

Can you twist your body a little towards
me, Carol?

That's good.

That's good.

It's all right, just hold my hand.

Squeeze my hand.

That's it.

That's good.

OK, hold it there.

All right, here we go.

Ready?

Good girl.

OK.

Now, all we have to do is wait a minute.

I, er... I had one of Dr
Alway's patients in earlier.

Do you know that he had completely missed
the fact that she had a heart condition?

Well, it can happen.

No, it wouldn't have happened if you'd
been a man.

Jim made a mistake.

Yes, because he thinks that women fuss
about nothing.

You should see her notes, you know,
they're so patronising.

Had he seen her recently?

Well, no, he hadn't, but even if he had,
you know...

Well, he's exactly the same towards me,
isn't he?

He'd be so much happier
if I just stuck to mothers

and babies and left
the rework to the chaps.

Well, I don't think that's fair.

Yes, because you're a chap.

The patient's all right, is he?

I have absolutely no idea.

I can't find her.

Time for your X-ray, Mr Greengrass.

Lovely.

I'm just wondering,
if it's not too much out of

the way,
do you think we could go by the mortuary?

I'd like to just visit my sister.

I think I might have to clear it with Mr
Upkirk.

Thank you.

I'm sure it won't be a problem.

It might be,
but if this keeps up... It's all right.

How do you fasten your chest?

Can you feel the leg at all?

No, it's like it's not there.

That's good.

OK.

All right, Joel.

Are you going to tell me the real reason
why you came out here?

Just couldn't keep away.

So you weren't checking up on me?

That's not my job.

No, it isn't.

But thanks anyway.

When you have a moment,
Nurse Hopkirk... Come on, we're done.

Where is Staff Nurse Taylor?

She's gone to help Dr Teryton.

Where?

Up on the Ashfordly Road.

They're covering for her.

In future,
if there's any covering to be done,

you do not arrange it
amongst yourselves.

You come to me.

Is that understood?

Yes, Maitran.

Your patient's waiting.

Mr Middle-H, a message for you.

I'll take it down.

Lizzie?

This is in shorthand.

Sorry.

Mr Nisbet from Her Majesty's Customs and
Excuses.

I think you'll find that's excise.

That's the one.

Anyhow, he wants to speak to you about a
patient called...

Greengrass.

How did you know that?

SONG PLAYS Sheila.

I've got a hospital bed waiting for you.

Stuart and me, we're going to this big
antiques fair in London.

We can't miss it.

Health's not more important.

This stuff's all the rage at the moment.

It's our big chance.

I have to risk it.

Have you spoken to your husband?

No, and I'm not going to.

You should.

It affects him too.

It's up to me.

Am I doing this on me or no?

What?

Sorry, love, this lady was just looking at
the grandmother clock.



Thank you.

I've been saying, Sheila,
we're supposed to

be in Portobello Road today,
not next week.

If you'd like to have a think
about it and come back,

it's just that we're closed
for the next couple of days.

All right, I see.

Look, I can't force you to come in,
but you need complete

bed rest if you've got any
chance of getting better.

I'll take my chances.

Sheila!

See you in a bit.

He wants to see coffee.

I bet he does.

Did he give you any money?

Yeah.



No, not half yet.

He gave me a thousand.

Oh, I took it to the bank.

Altogether it's worth about three,
Bob.

But the commission charges half a crown.

Oh, it's running around, isn't it?

Don't worry, it might still pay off.

Ah, Ken!

Has that coffin been collected yet?

Ah, no problem there, Mr. M.

Is that a yes or a no?

It's a yes.

That's temporarily a no, but me and Alan
are seeing to it right away.

Then get on with it.

Ah!

The prodigal returns.

What have we got here?

Hello, I'm Dr. Ormrod.

We're going to give you something to stop
that hurting.

The doctor gave me an injection.

A femoral nerve block.

Really?

A femoral nerve block.

That was brave.

She'd still be there if I hadn't tried it.

Even so, it was a hell of a risk.

What else could I do?

I couldn't see the extent of her injuries.

I had to get her out.

Yes.

Well, it looks like you got away with it.

What do you mean?

It was the right thing to do.

Just so long as you weren't overcompensating
for losing that patient before.

The difference from last time is I had the
right kit.

So I could do something out there.

Instead of watching someone die.

Fair point.

Anyway...

Well done.

Not too cosy in here.

I bet you don't get too many complaints
from the residents.

Look, do you mind if I have a few moments
with her alone?

No, no, you take all the time you like.

Thanks, Kevin.

You wait here.

I'll be back in five minutes.

Thanks.

Did you find your patient?

Yeah.

She doesn't want to be admitted.

Well, it's her choice.

Honestly, I don't know what's got into
her.

I think maybe the husband might be a
problem.

Are you saying he might stop her having
treatment?

I'm not sure, really.

It doesn't seem that's all, really.

How long has she been Jim Always Patient?

Oh, forever.

Then I'll tell you who'll know all about
her.

Matron.

Is that a problem?

Well, you know me and Matron always been
the best of friends.

I've got a message for Mr Greengrass.

Do you want me to give it to him?

No, I don't think I've had to do that.

It's about his sister, you see,
and she's not at all pleased because she

thinks that Mr Greengrass has taken her
spoons.

Yeah, and she's not dead neither.

But the other sister said that I can't go
on to the ward.

What other sister?

Your sister.

I don't have a sister.

I don't understand.

Nor do I.

So what exactly is the message?

It's... Will he please phone her?

Oh.

Perhaps I can help.

Yes.

Have you got a moment?

I'd like some advice.

From me?

Yes, it's about Sheila Atticliffe.

She's refusing to be admitted.

I just wondered if there was anything I
ought to know.

I thought maybe the husband might be a
problem.

Not as far as I know.

Sheila's not scared of him.

Of Stewart?

She's devoted to him.

Not surprising after what they've been
through.

You know about their son?

No.

Little lad called Daniel.

He died here about five years ago.

Meningitis.

How old was he?

Eight.

This hospital doesn't have the best
memories for her.

I thought you would have known.

Oh, well, it wasn't in the note.

Well, there's no reason they should have
been.

Dr Alway obviously knew.

I don't think it's Stewart that's stopping
Sheila.

Maybe she just doesn't want to let him
down.

I wish I could talk to him myself.

Anyway, thank you.

Don't let us stop, yeah?

I just wanted one last look.

Aye, and I suppose it's got nothing to do
with you wanting a sample box of 25 for

Messrs 2, Baldwin, Fryer wine merchants
and tobacconists of Arrogant.

Where'd they come from?

What's this about?

She's alive and well and living
in Barbados, although she's

somewhat brassed off of
the best silver going missing.

Well, one to all those anyway.

It's family silver, and I'm half the
family, so I just had my half, that's all.

I don't know.

I don't know.

What do you think we should do,
Alan?

Oh, we could go to Mr Middleditch.

Hey, that's not worth the paper it's
printed on.

No, I'm sorry.

It can't be a party to this.

Look, I... look, I... I didn't...
honestly, I didn't like Barbados,

and I don't go home with my sister,
and in fact she was the worst of the two.

This was gonna be my passport to get over.

And then this firm in Arrogant promised me


Five hundred they told me, but first
you've got to get them there.

All right, well, if you... if... if you
help me, I'll...

I'll give you 10% of what I get.

I was thinking we're on the lines of 75.

You've got more chance of knitting.

f*ck, I'll be losing money.

Well, I could just about go to 60.

All right, I'll... I'll split it with you,


Done.

Yeah, I think you're looking at a fella as
has been.

They look fine this year in no time.

I'll be off school for a while with that
now.

Hello, Karen.

How are you feeling?

All right, thanks.

Are you sure I can't have my leg in a pot?

No, we need to put you in traction.

We'll have you dangling from the ceiling.

Staff nurse, can I have a word?

Matron.

Where were you this morning?

I went out to the road accident.

Why wasn't I told?

Dr Ormerod said he'd tell me.

It is not Dr Ormerod's job to run errands
for nurses.

To leave your post is a dereliction of
duty.

How dare you?

I'm sorry... Excuse me, Matron.

It was an emergency.

If anyone's to blame, it's me.

It wasn't you who was supposed to be
running casualty.

If you value your job and
you wish to keep it, you are not

to leave this hospital without
making sure that I know first.

Do you understand?

Yes, Matron.

Thank you, Doctor.

And that was me thinking we'd done quite a
good job.

Are you doing anything this evening?

Looking for a new job at this rate.

Any chance you'd give me handhouse
hunting?

Seeing as you know you're here round town.

Yeah, OK.

Great, so you off to work now?

It's Staff Nurse Taylor, Doctor.

My light was on.

It's Mrs Attercliff.

Her husband's formed.

He doesn't know what to do.

Right.

Excuse me.

Who gave you permission to come on to this
ward?

I'm Nisbett, Customs Investigations.

I have a search warrant.

I don't care what you've got.

You do not set foot on this ward without
speaking to me first.

I'm looking for a Claude Jeremiah
Greengrass.

Well, you're hardly likely to find him in
the cabinet.

If you'd like to follow me, I'll notify
the hospital secretary of your arrival.

I don't like the idea of him going in
the...

Look, Alan pushes bins round the hospital
all day and nobody takes no notice.

Hey, there's this bloke from Customs.

He was in the ward.

Come on, we'd better get our skates on
then.

Well, that's outside with the van,
is he?

Ready and waiting.

Are you sure you can trust him?

Oh, David, a bit more than I can trust
either of us.

We're closed.

Oh, Sheila's doctor.

She's over there.

Right.

You were here this morning.

Yes.

So you knew Sheila was ill?

Look, can you get the car started?

We need to get us straight to hospital.

Right.

It's all right, Sheila.

I'm here.

I'm sorry.

I didn't tell you.

Dr. Hallway... He did warn me.

No, she listened.

Stuart...

He needs me here.

Don't talk, Sheila.

Not now.

Hey, I've got a job for you.

You're a temporary acting, unpaired
porter.

Cop over there.

Follow me.

Mr. Nesbitt?

Yes.

I'm Middleditch, hospital secretary.

I'm having difficulty discovering the
whereabouts of one of your patients.

Ah.

Well, Mr. Greengrass would appear to have
gone AWOL.

But given his condition, it's safe to
assume that he can't have gone far.

Nurse Hopkirk?

Yes, Mr. Middleditch.

Have you seen your uncle?

Um, he's in the mortuary fixing something,
I think.

Right, sir, if you'd care to follow me.

OK, David, grab this.

Here.

Follow me.

Ah, Ken!

Just a man.

This is Mr. Nesbitt from Customs and
Excise.

Ah, pleased to meet you, sir.

And he would like some help in tracking
down Mr. Greengrass.

Ah, well, glad to be of assistance.

Well, why don't you start in there?

The mortuary?

Well, you said you wanted to search the
whole hospital.

Leave no stone unturned and all that.

I'll leave you to it.

It's not very pleasant in there,
you know.

If I want your advice, I'll ask for it.

Well, I did warn you.

It's a bit of a shock.

Is this your first one?

Yes.

Is he a patient?

Not any more.

I'm sorry.

I'm not feeling very well.

Do you want to learn from the operating
theatre next?

Now, wait there a minute.

Go outside and check the call screen.

Didn't I ask you to unblock the drain in
the theatre scrub area?

I did that yesterday.

Well, it's blocked again.

I'll take another look.

It won't be a minute.

No, you won't.

Because you're coming with me now.

Yes, ma'am.

We'll have to go out and get the monkey
lunch.

What's going on?

Sheila's had a heart attack.

I don't get it.

Why were you at the shop this morning?

I think you need to talk to Sheila.

Yeah, but you knew she was ill.

Why didn't you do something?

Was it Sheila?

It would have been preferable if she'd
come in a bit earlier.

But the main thing is that Sheila has a
very good chance of recovery.

You know, it was the same with our little
lad, Danny.

She kept saying there was nothing wrong.

Kept pretending until...

I knew she wasn't well.

I was on and on at her.

Maybe it was just difficult
for her coming back

here, you know,
after what happened to your son.

More than difficult.

I can't lose her as well, you know.

I can't.

Have you told her that?

Maybe you should.

I should be getting her on to the ward,
you know.

I don't think what he has to say will take
very long.

I was getting round to saying it,
but it took the time.

Right, come on, Claude.

How's he gone?

He's gone outside to get some fresh air.

Where are the cigars?

Well, everyone knows what to do,
so don't worry.

Sorry, but I've got to go round to the
theatre.

What was the cigar?

David's got the bin.

Does he know what was in it?

Hey, what about me?

Hello, are you working here now?

Well, yeah, I suppose so anyway.

That waste needs to go in the incinerator.

What?

The incinerator.

Down the corridor, right, left and left
again.

Right.

No, left.

Come on, I'll show you.

Come on.

See that thingy?

That's the incinerator.

What do I do?

You work it out.

All right, Dad.

Hey, you've not seen David, have you?

He's wearing a porter's coat.

Yeah, he was a bit confused, but I showed
him where to go.

And where was that?

The incinerator.

Martin.

What's it, Martin?

Get your foot down!

Oh, no, David, no!

Stop it, kid!

Do you know what you've done?

It's an all right place, isn't it?

Is that peculiar smell?

It's the new anthracite.

Really?

I don't think we've been introduced.

Oh, this is David, maintenance engineer.

He's here to fix the valve on that leaky
pump.

And there is a good reason for Mr.
Greengrass being in the boiler room?

Yes.

Enlighten me.

Because I'm missing the sunshine,
you see.

I've just come back from the West Indies.

And as you probably know, in the
West Indies, it's always sort of... hot.

And you come back to England and it's
always a bit... cold.

And it's the warmest place in the
hospital, isn't it?

Yeah.

I see.

And the coffin?

It's going.

It's gone.

Well, that would appear to be that.

Ken, would you see Mr. Greengrass back to
the ward?

However much he may have been missing in
the tropics, I don't think Sister Bridget

would approve of this type of ad hoc
therapy.

Oh, hang on.

Does this belong to anybody?

In that case, I'm going to take it.

Corona-coronas.

It should make a good prize for the
Christmas raffle.

I don't think I can afford a ticket.

Have I seen you talking to Matron?

No, Matron was talking to me.

It's a verbal equivalent of a radical
tesseract to me.

I thought you were walking a bit oddly.

You persuaded your patient to come in,
then?

She didn't have much say in them,
actually.

Apparently, Dr. Alway had warned them
months ago.

I said there was nothing you could have
done.

Well,
I could have tried listening a bit more

and not been so fast
to jump to conclusions.

Well, you could try blaming the patient
for once.

They're not always perfect.

One interesting case here.

So, what do you say, Dr. Weatherall?

Well, I'd be a bit worried about what
Sister Bridget's been feeding her patients.

I don't know.

Maybe she thought they were a bit short in
height.

Well, I'm afraid the screwdriver in your
pancreas isn't your only problem,

Mr. Greengrass.

The urine tests aren't good either.

In fact, the lab technicians said they
were fizzing... slightly.

But we needn't worry about that.

With the level of sugar in your blood,
you should be dead.

All in all, you're something of a medical
miracle.

I'm pleased to hear it.

But since your last set of clinical tests
didn't go entirely to plan...

Well, we're going to just have to repeat
them.

Why?

When you already know what's wrong with
me?

Well, we know about your malaria,
your sugar levels and your screwdriver,

Mr. Greengrass.

But they may not be the whole story.

Your clothes, Doctor.

Thanks.

They've starched my underpants.

It's hospital policy for new doctors.

What's the plan?

Well,
I've arranged to see a couple of flats

and I thought maybe
we could get a bite to eat.

Oh, great.

Oh, you might want to book a table.

Well,
if it's just the two of us... No, five.

I thought between us we could sort you
out.

Hey, and then you can buy us all a meal.

Great.