01x03 - Go-Go Boy Sex Monster

[bunniefuu]

You're a Google boy, a bottoms up?

I thought you looked familiar.
I see you every week.

Oh yeah. I know you.

You're the guy without the
singles, number fives, tens.

So Alejandro, how can we help you?

You guys are like
Ghostbusters and sh*t, right?

Sort of we detect the
presence of supernatural beings.

And kick their a*s, right?

Like it said in your ad?

f*ck yeah bro.

What have you been experiencing?

This is going to sound weird.

But I've been having
dreams where I can't move,

I'm paralyzed. I try so
hard to move. It's like,

something's pressing me down.

Scary as sh*t.

Sorry to ask. But is
there a sexual component to

the dreams?

Yeah, actually.

I've been having sex dreams about

someone who works with me at the bar and

just can't remember who it is.

I know it's always the

same guy, but

I always forget who when I wake up.

Interesting. And have you
been feeling weak recently?

Tired? Run down?

Yeah, how'd you know, all that?

One of your coworkers is
a parasitic sex monster.

Which to be fair,
describes most people in LA.

They're whats called an incubus,

which is a demon that feeds
off of a human sexual energy

until the victim is dead.

They masquerade as humans
infiltrate the victims lives until

the deed is done. And then they move on.

f*ck.

The good news is we've
seen this plenty of times.

We can help, but it won't come cheap.

I'll pay whatever it takes.

Good. Cause with an incubus,

we're going to have the call in some help.

I'm here to commune
with the spirits, Herald.

I'm sorry,

I mean,

Azrael.

You're picturing me naked.

I had a stray memory of you naked it,

it wasn't intentional.

Also, stop reading my mind please.

We've spoken about this.

It's good to see you again.

You too.

We also are here.

Hi, I'm Harold.

Yeah, I got that from before.

So

A real telepath, who's a fake medium.

As real mediums should
these guys be offended?

Connecting people with
dead relatives is where the

money is. Even if it's
actually just telling them what

they want to hear.

Plain old mind reading
just isn't lucrative.

Well, it is today.

We want to hire-

- I'll do it.

We haven't to-

Right.

Telepath.

That's kind of annoying.

Try dating him.

Hi there.

Hi, we're looking for Alejandro.

He's in the dressing rooms downstairs.

One of you can grab him if you want.

The dressing room, being
where they change clothes.

That's what a dressing room is.

Go.

Thanks buddy.

f*ck.

What?

That's my ex.

Really?

Yup.

Do you want us to run interference?

No, I've been avoiding her for months.

I should get this over with.

Buy the next round?

Nat, oh my God.

What are you doing here?

I'm on a case.

You're on a case?

Wait since when are you on cases?

Am I competition now?

No, no private eyeing for me,

I'm a demon hunter.

Oh, okay.

Hey,

you made it.

Nice outfit.

Pizza polo shirt, and a name tag.

So this is where you work, huh?

Yeah.

Are they hiring?

Always.

sh*t, with your looks
you'd make a k*lling.

Hey,

So do you,

sense anything?

You're late again b*tch.

I know. Sorry guys.

Hey?

Here you go Uncle Roy.

Oh my, what is this?

Do you know you'd make
better tips if you dressed

like when one of your Go-Go boys.

Like you've ever tipped
a day in your life.

Oh, I'm just waiting for good service.

You know, if you're going
to poke around in an old

man's mind you might want
to buy him a drink first.

Oh, don't look so surprised,
I can sniff and telepath

a mile away.

Well sit down.

I'm not the one you're looking for.

Don't tell me you're a telepath.

Oh, you'd know if I was.

All right,

and what am I looking for?

Oh, I don't know something scary.

That's not you?

Honey, I'm just here for the booze.

If you don't believe me
just take a look around.

So you are.

But you're also not quite human.

Oh honey.

Who really is these days.

I found him.

It's go time.

Wait.

Who are you?

That's the last of it.

You guys ready?

Why don't you two head down to the car.

Wait, what's going on?

Look,

we appreciate all the
help you've given us.

Hang on. Are you firing me already?

No,

big no.

An incubus?

They could be dangerous.

Like

killy, stabby dangerous.

And we haven't cleared
you for field duty yet.

But I was just at the bar.

That was recon.

No engagement.

Look,

don't turn me into a
dildo or anything. Okay?

But,

you got to get some training
in before you go jumping into

the deep end.

Fine.

Thank you for understanding.

Ow!

Oh yeah? Real mature.

All you have to do now is relax

and let the sleeping pill work.

Harold will link our minds.
So I'll be in your dream.

This won't hurt, will it?

Not unless you want it to.

I like him.

Let's focus, okay?

I'll make contact with the
incubus when we're in your dream.

Harold will use his psychic
whammy to force him into the

real world.

Jeremy will k*ll him,
then this all be over.

Damn.

It never actually gets like this.

Just, you know,

in my mind.

Stay in control.

This is your dream.

But I'm so f*cking turned on.

Yeah,

me too.

We have to stop.

But I'm so horny.

This is the demon's influence.

He's literally powered
on your sexual energy.

And the more you give him.

The closer he comes to k*lling you.

He's here.

Remember what we said.

What the?

This is the house I grew up in.

Alejandro.

I always felt safe here.

You brought us here?

You're controlling your dream?

Yeah.

Can't everybody do that?

No. No, that usually means
you have some psychic ability.

(off screen) Alejandro.

He found me. He's coming.

It's okay.

No, it's not.

I'm right here.

Bring us back to your apartment.

Back to your bedroom.

It'll make the transition
to the real world easier.

No I can't, he'll be there.

I'll protect you.

I swear.

Did you miss me?

I missed you.

I missed f*cking you.

I missed you f*cking me.

Well this is awkward.

I hate to be the bearer of blue ba*ls, but

I figured you'd be pissed.

Here's the thing.

Crap.

Daniel? Did you get him?

I got him.

Good. Let's kick his a*s.

What just happened?

I turned off his brain.

You could do that?

With a few breeds of demon, yeah.

Mostly the ones that use psychic energy.

Not something I particularly
liked doing, no, but

he was

he was going to hurt you.

So he's dead?

Yup.

He's dead.

We're going to put him in my trunk.

I've got an Alchemist friend
who'd love to get his hands

on an incubus corpse.

Gross.

Thanks again, man.

You really saved us back there.

Glad I could help.

Hey, so I'll I have her
like 20 singles that where my

jock strap.

Is that enough?

$20?

Are you f*cking kidding me?

We almost died.

Well, I can think of another
way to pay you guys back.

Y'all have fun.

f*cking sex monster.