01x10 - Plopper

[bunniefuu]

The time is 7:30

and Joe Connolly
is in the mood... to dance.

The toothpaste is fresh.

His favourite song is on
shuffle.

Hurry up!

And for once,

he is first in the bathroom.

- [ What are you doing in there?
- You doing in there?

These good fortunes
are to be relished.

"Joe Connolly's
got a text!

Can you guess who it's from?
Can you guess--"

Stop texting me! I will
come out when I'm good an--

- Out!
- I'm done anyway.

Some days,
the sun shines, the birds sing,

and the world just feels right.

Nothing can go wrong.

Oh no!

Joe has a feeling in his gut

that today might not
be a good day after all.

Corrr, Joe! That reeks!

What? I dunno what--

Oh! What that you? Blimey!!

Joe stinks of guilt.
But these are his best friends.

He can trust them.

You've never been... in school?

What do you do?

Just...

Hold it until I get home.

It's never been
a problem before.

- Aghh! What in the name--
- Coming through!

Have you three
got something to share

with the rest of the class?

Thankfully,
these are Joe's best friends.

- They wouldn't say a--
- Sir! Joe's bustin' for a plop.

Okaaay, off you go, Joe!

His best friends.

Joe knows,
there's no turning back now.

So I say to Bridget,
I'm not eatin' nothing

unless it's vegan.

As if.

So, did you?

- I can hold it.
- Bad idea, mon frère.

Does the name
Bradley Browner ring a bell?

Just like you,
Bradley had a problem.

But he was like...

I don't want to use
the school toilet. Gross!

He was warned
but Bradley kept sayin'

I can hold it, it's no big deal.

Then came fifth period...

P.E.!

High jump.

The landing mat
still doesn't look the same.

P.E.!

Rugby!

Plopper! Plopper!

Following P.E., Joe would be
infamous throughout the world.

He would be forced
into isolation.

Plopper! Plopper!

When Joe
finally returns to school,

it'll be all robots
who are much cleverer than him.

What is the value of 'x'?

Sir, the human does not know.

Shut up, Droid 38764!

Stupid human
excretes in his boxer shorts.

Joe Connolly would never make it
to the final bell.

- Oh!
- Lily Scott.

Hi.

Normally the first person

Joe wants to speak to.

Right now, she's the last person
he wants to see.

Alright?

Are you okay, Joe?

This was the closest
Joe has been

to physical contact
with Lily Scott - just 3.5 cm!

Something he is very uncertain

he can handle
in his current state.

See ya!

Joe isn't a praying boy,

but right now,
he needs a miracle.

What's he doing?

He has made it.

Finally, here is
his porcelain paradise.

They should have sent a poet.

[ We'll meet you later Darren,
all right?!

Enter Roxy Brunswick.

Oh no!

It dawns on Joe.

Not only is this the girls',

this is the only cubicle.

Come on, babe! I'm burstin'!

Approximately 600 hours later,
Joe remains.

As does Roxy Brunswick.

- Wot you doin' in there?
- Just leave it, Rox.

I only use

the humanities toilet, Eisha.
You know that.

O.M.G.!

This ain't over!

[ I really don't think
I'm the best teacher for this.

- Sir, it's an emergency.
- Please, Roxy.

I think it's Gemma, Sir!
She's been cryin' ever since

Darren messaged me, and...

I think she's havin'
lady problems, Sir.

I'm gonna wet myself, Sir!

Please, Roxy! Leave this to me.

[ Hello in there.

It's Mr. Turner.

And this is how
Mr Turner ended up

having 'the girl talk'
with Joe Connolly.

Hey, you're Joe's friends,
right?

Have you seen him?
He ran off earlier.

That's the girls' toilet.
He's not--

No! No-no-no-no! Noooo!

[ What's taking so long?

It is totally normal
for your body

to be going through... changes.

Clearly Joe had made some
missteps but he has no idea

why Mr Turner
had given him a chocolate bar.

[ Who's in there?
[ Why's it taking so long? Ugh!

[ Come on! I'm gonna pee myself!

Joe had prayed for a miracle.

Perhaps Lily Scott was it.

Sir!

"Joe Connolly has got a text!

Can you guess who it's from?"

"Can you guess who it's from?
Can ya? Can ya?"

] Don't forget to check
the symbol before you go in.

Yes, Sir.

Hi!

Ummm...

As Lily Scott
stands directly in front of him,

one thing is clear.
This is surely the end for Joe.

Did you see anything
in the toilet, like...

..written on the walls?

Yet for some reason,
she still wants to speak to him.

I wrote something.

And I... emm...

And Joe knows
exactly what she wrote.

Kim Vine smells of raisins?
That's what you wrote, right?

Yes! Hah! That's what I wrote!

She really does.

So are you... coming to Maths?

I've got to do something first.

Okay, see you then.

Joe Connolly
has unfinished business.

This is HIS time.

One small step for Joe.

One giant--

So who
do you think LS and JC is?

I don't care, mate.
Can we just go?