01x05 - Santa Fe

[bunniefuu]

Last week in New Orleans...

This is the kiss
Ash gave her date from Austin

but all bets were off

when she finally
got a yes from Jess.

I don't even know
if Jess is good for me.

The Big Easy
was a big downer for Kris.

Not gonna lie to you.
I haven't seen you shimmy all week.

But Kesun loved every minute
of her big date with Big Ryan.

And Reagan took a big leap of faith

and said yes to a little date
with Miami Don.

My lack of trust,
it's actually like a short-term thing

that I have to get over
based on just a few shitheads.

Four single New Yorkers

put their hearts
into the hands of this film crew

who whisked them across the country
on a dating adventure

and do the swiping for them.

This is Swiping America.

A rom-doc in eight parts.

One of the things
you hear New Yorkers say a lot is

"What's next and what else?"

People just become so disposable

and I think that
when you see a picture

or, like,
a couple pictures of someone

it's such a flash moment.

You know,
you can't even hear their voice

or have any idea of, like,
what their energy is like

or what they kind of, like,
feel like to be around.

You see one thing about someone
on a date that you

like, absolutely hate.

Then you're just like,
"Okay, I'm never dating

a French person ever again."

Figure drawing,
it is an opportunity to really see

and not just swipe
or kind of have a superficial idea

of what you're engaging with.

- How do you draw? How does...
- Yes.

- How does one draw?
- Do we get a drawing course?

I'm not gonna lie to you.

- I don't draw.
- I don't know how to draw.

Don't be afraid. Give it a shot.

This is definitely the longest time

we've probably spent
just looking at someone

without having a conversation,
which is kind of nice.

Yeah,
we do 20 to 30-minute dates, so...

Okay, so this is almost
as long as a date then, yeah?

I think it's just, like,
taking a moment

to actually look at someone

and see what's there
instead of making assumptions

or thinking that you know
something by glancing.

Exactly, yeah. Not just swiping by,
but really looking.

I'd like you to pick
your favorite drawing.

We're gonna take 'em outside
and tape 'em up.

I like when there's clouds around

and so when he was lying down
on the thing

I was like, "That could be a cloud

and I could be like da Vinci
or something."

So I chose this one.

And I like his stance here.
It's strong.

I just really liked this one.

It's also my favorite body part

- That a*s.
- When he was laying down

it was a lot harder to kind of
get a grasp of proportions.

- Yeah.
- This one felt more natural.

Yeah, it looks great.

Thanks, Tobey,
for teaching us how to draw.

- Thanks, Tobey.
- Thank you so much.

Have fun. Good luck.

Thank you.

It was great. I didn't even notice
the d*ck in the room.

I just love that you can walk this
entire town in, like, ten minutes.

I've walked it five times
already on acc...

- Me too.
- Looking for a bathroom.

I want chocolate, and I want jewelry.

- I want ice cream and jewelry.
- Amen.

Here are some cool facts
about Santa Fe.

"One drink at this altitude

is the equivalent
of three drink at sea level."

- f*ck, yeah!
- Hell, yeah!

"New Mexico has more PhDs per capita
than any other state."

- Then where are the damn doctors?
- What are they doing here?

Are you excited for Date Zeros
even though you are getting married?

Yeah, I'm excited for Date Zero.

I think it's gonna be cool
to meet people who live here.

I... I agree. I resonate with that.

How excited are we, Ash,
for Jess to get here?

- Very excited.
- I can't wait to meet her.

- I know.
- Me too.

I'm so excited to meet Don.

I'm excited to meet Don.
He's a... he's a...

- He's an enigma.
- He's a character.

How do you feel about Derrick coming?

Derrick gets in tonight.

- Oh! Really?
- Yeah.

We're gonna make pottery together.

Every time I text him,
he makes me smile.

Oh, my god. You're, like,
actually giddy right now.

I'm like, "Whoo-hoo-hoo!"

All right, should we go home now
and look at our matches?

- Hell, yeah.
- Yeah.

I got a match.

He owns an ice cream company.

I'm gonna ask him to make

a flavor of ice cream after me.

This town is, like, very different.

I would love to hear, like,
how is it to be q*eer in Santa Fe?

Interesting. One of these guys

is a wedding photographer.

He's really cute, actually.

All these girls seem, like, decent.

But ultimately,
Jess is here this week.

Wait a minute.

She's cute.

Cute.

Omar. I'm gonna ask him If he wants

to go on a date to Hawaii.

This guy's...

He's holding a goat.

Oh, man!

Alex.

He's really cute, actually.

The goat.

I have a date in two nights with Don.

I tried to FaceTime him, and he...

ignored it.

He's always doing something
every single night.

That's why he declined my call.

'Cause he's f*cking someone.

Just kidding.

- Hey! How you doing?
- I'm good. How are you?

- I'm doing well.
- Oh, sh*t. Sorry.

- Hi. Kesun. Nice to meet you.
- Pleasure to meet you.

Hey.

- Hi. How are you?
- Hey. Good.

- Hi.
- Hello.

What do you do?

- I'm a hat maker.
- Oh, amazing.

I worked on
an Eastern medicinal herb farm.

I actually wanted to be a dentist.

As a little kid, I, like,
pulled my sister's teeth out.

- Oh, my god.
- I'm an herbal engineer.

Oh, I don't know what I means.

I tool leather, so all this stuff
is stuff that I make.

I played professional soccer
for the last 12 years.

I'm an information specialist.

That's a very unique job title.

- It's real vague.
- It's so vague.

I'm gonna start
being more vague, honestly.

What do you do?

Just kidding.

What do you love about Santa Fe?

- You can be weird here, you know?
- Yeah.

You can just be
whoever you want to be.

As an artist, I couldn't think
of a more inspiring place

to, like, wake up every day.

Yeah. I drew a naked guy yesterday.

- Fantastic.
- I drew his d*ck.

You know, it's good to just focus
in on the challenging part.

They've got one g*y bar here

but it's pretty infested
with heterosexuals.

They... they do like
to overtake our clubs.

You have all the bars

- Seriously.
- They got to take everything.

I'm just like,
"You don't need to be here."

What about this writing side to you?

Since you were little,
you were a writer or...

Yeah, my ancestors were Mormon
and basically pioneers.

I have all of my ancestors' journals.

- That's awesome.
- They were, like, polygamists.

That's why I have you here.
I'm looking for a lot of husbands.

It's actually been much harder
to sleep everywhere I've gone.

Which is interesting 'cause I sleep
like a rock in New York.

- I love pop music a lot.
- That's awesome.

I just have known
a lot of people over the years

that are really into Sublime

and they're, like,
a certain type of people.

Yeah, people that suck.

Just kidding.

Do you know who Andrea Bocelli is?

- Who?
- Andrea Bocelli.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- I like Andrea Bocelli.

You said it so beautifully.

- Coldplay?
- It sounds like you're asking me

if you're allowed to like them.

- Yeah.
- "Coldplay?"

I'm a great communicator.

Okay. Are you a great listener?

I have a great job.
I have my second home.

I have multiple cars.
I have everything going for me.

I have a really hard time

finding someone on my mental,
emotional level.

I actually am kind of living the life

that I've always envisioned
for myself

- Spending a lot of time in nature.
- That's amazing.

I live on an off-grid cabin here,
outside of town, on 40 acres.

I mean, I don't even have a well.

I have a rain catchment system

- Oh, my gosh.
- Kind of thing, yeah.

- Wait, how old are you?
- I'm 28.

- Oh, my god.
- Yeah. How old are you?

The same.

- Same age then.
- Oh, my gosh, we're both 28.

That's so weird.

That's awesome.

I'm normally someone who's, like,
very thought out and strategic

but now I don't really know exactly
where I want to go

but I just know
I want things to change, so...

Right. Well, I'm confident
that whatever you choose

it'll fall into place

- because I'm the opposite of you
- I was gonna say, yeah.

Where I don't plan anything

and I'm just like,
"Oh, I'm here now. Perfect." So...

Things work out really well for you.

- Exactly.
- Yeah.

The goat in your photo,
are you guys friends?

- We are.
- He's adorable.

Yeah, he's really sweet.

But it was really nice to meet you.

- It was a pleasure.
- It was great.

Here, let me put this down.

- So nice to meet you as well.
- Yeah, it was great. Yeah.

I mean, he's just so cool.
He's a really cool guy

and he's 100%
unapologetically himself.

There's something
very charismatic about him

and his comfort
that made me intrigued.

Would I have swiped right on him?
Absolutely not.

But, is he someone who after getting
to know him a little bit more

I'm like, "Wait, I should,
like, see where this goes"?

- It was awesome.
- It was really nice to meet you.

- I'll give you a hug.
- Absolutely.

- Thank you for coming.
- I wish you luck on your journey.

- Thank you. I appreciate it.
- Hope to see you again.

- Yes, for sure.
- Have a good rest of your day.

- Thank you. Bye.
- Thank you.

She's a lovely. Very beautiful girl.

Way too young. Twenty-two years old.

I am 30.

Going on 40. Like...

- Thank you for coming.
- Thank you for having me.

- Bye.
- He's adorable.

He has a great laugh.
He has a great sense of humor.

We had a lot to talk about.

He said everything was awesome.

He's so enthusiastic.
I love that about him.

I've never kissed anyone
that much younger than me, though.

It would feel like I was taking him

on a date.

Jess is a woman that I met
for a date in New York

before I started my journey.

We had a great conversation.

I asked her if I could kiss her

and then we made out
on the side of the street.

I was like, "Oh, my god, I'm...
I'm gonna really like this girl

but I'm leaving."

I felt like I should be honest,
and tell her where I was going

and why I was leaving.

So I did that

and she was just like,
"Yeah, I can't see you."

Yeah,
we didn't really talk after that

and when I left to Asheville

basically I just sent her
a text message

that was like, "Can I call you?"

And I called her.

We started talking,
like, every day after that

and ultimately I asked her

if she would meet me here
in Santa Fe to have a dinner date.

And she said yes
for some insane reason.

So now we're here.

I'm nervous and excited

and I feel like I feel that, like,
in all parts of my being, so...

I have hopes for how it goes

but I try not to do that too much

'cause I'm just gonna
drive myself insane.

We met in person once, only once

and so this is gonna be
the second time I'm...

I'm seeing her since our first date.

And this is the craziest decision
I've ever made

and here I am in Santa Fe.

Jesus.

Jessica Smith.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- You look so pretty.
- How are you?

- Good.
- You look beautiful.

- These are for you.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- You're so sweet.

- It's been a long time.
- It's been a moment.

- Since our first date.
- It's been a moment.

Do you want to get drinks?

- I would love to get drinks.
- Okay, let's go.

I need a drink.

Can I... can I touch you?

You can touch me, yes.

- We can hold hands.
- Are we allowed?

- Yeah, we're allowed to hold hands.
- Thank you.

- Of course.
- Cool.

Are you nervous?

Yes.

So cute.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- Enjoy.
- Thank you.

Thanks for coming.

Thank...

- Thank you for having me.
- You're so welcome.

You are the most...
You are the most extra.

- Thank you. I appreciate that.
- You're welcome.

You probably never thought
you were gonna come here with me.

- Here you are, outside, with me.
- I know.

- And now we're in Santa Fe.
- Now we're randomly in Santa Fe.

- In the desert.
- In the desert, yeah.

Bringing you a cute little plate.

- Are you gonna serve me?
- I think so.

Oh, my goodness.

Just in case you start trying
to date other people in New York.

Did they serve you salad?
They didn't.

Tell me something about you
that I don't know.

Do you know
what my least favorite color is?

My guess? Purple.

- Is it?
- How did you know that?

I don't know!

Do you know my favorite color?

- Black.
- Yeah.

- We're from New York.
- I know!

What time do you get up?

On the weekends,
I'll sleep in until 7.30.

What is wrong with you?

- 7.30?
- Seize the day. Am I right?

So I'm gonna get up at nine,
just so you know

- on the weekends.
- That's fine. That's fine.

- Is that okay?
- That's totally fine.

I'll walk the dogs.
I'll take care of it.

I'll walk the dogs during the week.

- Okay.
- I can do that.

You want to open a l*sbian bar?

- I want to do that part.
- No.

I've been saying that I've been
wanting to do that for years.

- No, you haven't.
- Yes, I have.

I've been saying that
for, like, four years.

I've been saying that for four years.

Oh, my god, it's gonna be so fun.

- Look at us.
- Look at us.

I'm waiting for Josh.

He's gonna show me some
of his favorite spots in town.

So I'm excited.

There's something
about Josh that I was like

"Oh, I have to spend
some time with this guy."

Oh, hey.

- I'll give you a hug from here.
- Yeah. How's it going?

Good. I'm gonna go to the other side.

- Come on in.
- Thanks.

Hey.

So I was just, I was trying to,
like, think about

where I wanted to take you

and I was just thinking,
for this time of year

no better place than going up
to the ski basin.

There's so many amazing views.

This is beautiful nature.

You listening to, like,
Road Tripping, I imagine.

- Oh, I love Road Tripping.
- Yeah?

Yeah. The last time I was on the road

I was traveling around for a year.

Working in fashion.

My résumé is literally Valentino
to working as a lumberjack

and meditating three hours a day.

- Three hours?
- Oh, yeah.

- In one sitting?
- Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, look at this.
You want to pull over for this?

Yeah, let's do this.

So pretty.

It's pretty incredible.

So what... what is, like

your five-year goal with,
like, your life?

I don't know the answer to that,
but I do know that I'm...

I've put myself in a position
to start kind of experiencing life

in a way that I haven't up until now.

I mean, you're kind of in a place

of just building exactly who you
want to be, and that's exciting.

Did you want to work in fashion?

Yeah. That was my... my dream.

Well, you, like, took a drastic
change in the opposite direction.

Yeah, and then something about

like, moving to the mountains
and becoming a hippie.

My mom's a hippie.

How...
how did that not get passed on?

She taught me
a lot about self-expression

but not a lot of rules for my mom.

- Right.
- And I...

- flung in the other direction to try
- Right.

and add structure to my life.

Yeah.

It's getting a little chilly.

Yeah. Shall we go back?

- Yes, I am ready.
- Cool.

This is beautiful, though.

I was wondering if you wanted
to just head back to my place

and get tea or something?

- Yeah, that sounds great.
- Yeah.

We like a lot of the same things.

- We have the same sense of humor.
- Yeah.

But what are the differences?

- Oh, no.
- You're nicer, for sure.

You are calmer.

I am so much calmer than you.

You are... You are less extra.

- You courted me hard.
- I know!

- I... I know what I want.
- Like, hard.

You sent me flowers to my apartment
two weeks in a row.

- Yeah, I did.
- You sent me coffee.

Sure did.

Which was super cute.

- I'm extra.
- You're extra.

When I want something.

- It's so pretty.
- It's so pretty.

- What time is it?
- I don't know.

I turned my phone off 'cause I'm here
with you in the moment.

I know.

- How beautiful.
- I know.

- Can you believe?
- I know. I know.

You want to enjoy the moment with me?

- I do.
- Is that what's happening?

- Yes, I do. I do.
- I know. I know.

I'm not gonna kiss you.
You have to kiss me.

- I've... I've done the mostest.
- I know. Have you?

- I moved mountains.
- I don't think so.

Did I not move mountains?

- You did.
- Yeah.

- You did.
- Thank you.

- And this night is very beautiful.
- It is very beautiful.

- You're very beautiful.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- Shall we go have dessert?

- Yes. Will you kiss me?
- Yeah?

Yeah.

Dessert.

You said you were kind of,
like, nerdy in high school?

- Really?
- Yeah.

Do you not get that?

No, I don't. I mean, I guess

I mean, maybe,
like a little bit, but not much.

- But you
- Oh, yeah. Super nerd.

What were you like in high school?

I was, like, very quiet.
I kind of kept to myself.

I felt like I couldn't be as free

and as liberated
and, like, enjoy life as me.

I just didn't know how

because there was, like, that moral
obligation to be, like, not g*y.

- Yeah. Fair.
- So...

And now I'm just like,
I love being q*eer.

Fair.

So, like, what are your views
on relationships?

I don't like to hook up with guys

who I don't have a really
strong emotional connection to.

For me, they're almost intertwined.

- Like...
- Right. I'm the same way.

I don't even feel, like,
a sexual desire

unless there's, like,
an emotional connection that...

No, yeah, I mean, I need
to really care about the person

in order for me to have a...
a desire sexually.

Yeah, and that's the thing
I'm discovering

and evaluating more and more.

I think that's
where I mostly fell victim

to the expectations
of the g*y community

is like,
"Yeah, you should be having sex

or you should be doing this
or you should be hooking up

with these types of guys."

Yeah. I mean, it took me moving
to the mountains

to finally, like,
release myself from that.

It's interesting.

Well, how are you feeling?

- Are you... Yeah.
- Good.

I think, maybe it's about time
to end the night.

- Yeah...
- Is that good?

It's been really fun
getting to know you.

- Yeah.
- And yeah, you're great.

Okay, how was it?

It was great. He's such a cool guy.

Funny, because he
and I both actually expressed

that we're, like,
people who take a long time

to get emotionally close to people

and when we do,
that's we finally feel it.

I just like his influence
and his energy.

He has beautiful eyes.

I was, like, looking at the view,
and I looked at his eyes

I was like, "Damn, this is like
a very beautiful picture."

Yeah. And you still didn't make out
with him?

- Yeah.
- Oh, no.

That moment it felt right to

but that was, like,
20 minutes into our date.

So it was like, "Oh,
it's too early to establish this."

Too early to kiss.

Not too early to tell.

My friend and possibly
romantic interest, Don

has come to visit me from Miami.

We're going on a date today.
We're going vintage shopping.

I'm excited.

I'm gonna dress like, a Bond girl.

In past relationships
where I've matched their pace

which was faster than mine
I always wondered, like

what if I had insisted
that we take our time?

The only way I can know
is if I actually do it my way.

I'm just looking forward to having
a fun day with a cool person.

What do you think, Mosie?
Should I kiss Don?

Hi.

- How are you?
- You look fantastic.

- Nice to see you.
- Hi. Likewise.

- Come on, it's...
- Ready to go?

Let's go, yeah.

I drew a nude person the other day.

I did a nude sketching class
with charcoal.

I drew his d*ck.

I'm gonna tell you something crazy.

You draw dicks, too?

- I have one. This is so crazy.
- Oh, god! I can draw it.

Do you like stucco?

I'm very particular about my stucco.

It's actually really important to me.

I'm glad you're here.

So, this stucco, it's sprayed on.

Yeah, and it cracks everywhere.

But I love old stucco that's done
by hand with adobe underneath.

My boyfriend hates your building.

Yeah.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- I'm good. How are you?

- Good.
- There she is.

There's your girl.

Has she been waiting
all week to see me?

Yeah. She has been.

She's been following me around
all week asking where you are.

You're not doing
anything fun tonight?

No, I'm kind of alone.
Everyone's, like, out on dates.

One of those suitcases
is probably big enough.

I can just kind of fit me
in from now on and...

Oh, my god. I'd get, like,
one of your legs in there.

You know, if I could, like

touch my toes
and make it work, but...

You can't touch your toes?

It's a long way down. Don't judge me.

I'm not judging you. Sorry.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Good. How are you?

- Good.
- Well, it's appointment only

so you have the place
to yourselves, so go on in.

- Thank you. Appreciate it.
- Yeah.

This is beautiful. This is fantastic.

- Cool.
- Yeah.

I like Western shirts.

I could see you, like,
pulling Western off, yeah.

If I'm gonna wear Western,
it's gonna be pearl buttons.

Oh, yeah. Try that on.

I think so. Right?

Look at all these poofy skirts.

I can get down
with a poofy skirt so hard.

Oh, my...

You've got to try that one on.

- Yeah, a hundred percent.
- Yeah. Okay. Cool.

Wow, look at these pantalones.

They're, like,
for cow-milking ceremonies.

I love it.

Are you kidding me?

This is very cool.

Do you feel
like you're wearing a skirt?

I love it.

Oh, my god.

I love it.

Yeah.

How are you feeling about
coming to see me in Boulder?

I'm excited. It's a week too long.

Hopefully I'll be busy enough
this week that it'll fly by

and... and then I'll be on the way.

I'm really excited to see you.

I know. I am, too.

I'll be glad
when next week rolls around.

Yeah, I'll have
my people call your people.

My people just is me.

That's okay. We'll call you.

I'm not sipping it.

- I'm gonna chug this.
- But this is...

- Oh, I... Cheers...
- Cheers.

Do you want to go back
to my house and hold hands?

- I'd love to.
- Cool.

Oh, my gosh, this picture of you

in your little tank top and underwear

this is the cutest thing
I've ever seen in my life.

Oh, my gosh. You look so cute
in this baseball uniform.

Look at you.

What a babe.

Your laugh is so cute.

Yeah, thanks.

It's infectious. You can't help
but you can't not smile.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hello.
- Hello.

How are you?

- This is Don.
- Hey, Don.

This is Ryan.

Hey, Ryan. How's it going?

- Yeah, yeah.
- How's it going?

- You have great hair.
- You do, too.

- Thanks.
- He does have good hair.

I noticed that.

I like that you have,
like, a bowl of chilies.

Or is this,
like, just for decoration?

Like, just to make you feel like...

I don't know.
You think I decorated this place?

I'm really excited
about this right now.

Call me, call me on the...

Call me on the landline
in a little bit.

- Okay.
- All right. Bye.

- Did you hear that?
- I did.

I actually did.

- Want to see something cool?
- Yeah.

- Come here.
- Okay.

- This is what you're doing
- All right, we just...

Yeah, we just have
to walk normal, okay?

- Arms down to the side, okay?
- All right. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

- What?
- Cool, right?

Wait, wait. Let's do that again.

Oh, my Lord.

You touched my boob that time.

You did it.

I was... It was you, really.
You really...

So, anyway, like I was saying...

- Oh, hi.
- Wow, this guy's so smooth

I don't trust it.

Thanks for helping with my game.

What do you need?
You want to get on the couch?

I want to get on the couch.
Come on, let's couch.

Oh, man.

If we were a song, what would we be?

"You Are My Sunshine."

Really?

- I'm your sunshine?
- Yeah, sure.

"Yeah, I guess. I don't know."

I mean, come on.

But that's a baby's lullaby
for a baby.

You had to sing the whole thing?

"You're right, it is a baby's song."

I just had a full glass of tequila.

It was so much better
than the champagne, honestly

because the champagne
didn't work at all.

Oh, f*ck. Look what just happened.

What the f*ck?

Getting crazy. Yeah...

I respect you as, like a...
like a creative person

and I love collaborating with people
that I think I can learn from.

That would be fun to write together.

That's great. Thank you.

That's such a nice compliment to get.

- Let's do it over text.
- Okay.

Yeah.

I'm glad that you invited me,
and I said that before.

No, thanks for coming.

I've... I've impressed him.

I've had such a fantastic time
hanging out.

Me, too.

So, I'm gonna get my shoes on.

- Okay.
- And my jacket.

- And...
- I'll walk you.

Oh, thank you. Yeah.

Oh, my goodness.

Actually, that was super cute.

- I'll see you.
- Bye, Don.

- Like, in seven seconds.
- Just kidding.

All right.

- Well...
- Well, it's cold out.

That wasn't awkward.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Oh, man.

I had so much fun with Don yesterday.

I open my texts

and I have, like, so many from him,
and they're so cute.

Cheese.

Don left me another audio recording.

Play that sh*t.

You're so cute, it's ridiculous.

I sent him this photo of us.

I think my biggest takeaway
from this experience

is that I have a blonde twin.

Yeah, it's true.

- He's cute.
- Oh, Don!

- Look at that suggestive finger.
- I know.

His crush on you
is definitely very sincere.

I actually do think there is, like,
relationship potential with Don.

He said that he would travel
anywhere for me.

I'm starting to actually think
about bringing people to Hawaii.

- Yeah.
- I haven't thought about it at all.

Ryan's playing volleyball right now.

- It's adorable.
- Honestly, he's...

Yeah. He's, like, so aware of, like

how other people are feeling

and it's, like, really refreshing

because I've never really had
a sweet boyfriend.

It's kind of scary.

Why is it scary?

Feels like a little bit like it's,
like, it's too good to be true.

Yeah.

Suddenly I'm so excited
for what's next

and I'm excited about Don.

I feel excited
about romance right now.

I love love.

I love love, and I'm looking for it.

Doesn't happen very often for me

so when I like someone,
I just tell them all damn day

that I, like, have a crush on them.

We do like each other
then let's just like each other

- and see what happens.
- Totally.

Like, and then, you know,
either move on or, like, get married.

I had this thought, like

I'm actually not looking
for someone to grow old with.

I'm looking for someone to live
youthfully with for a long time.

- You know?
- That's perfect.

- I do know. I totally get that.
- Right? I don't want to grow old.

- f*ck that.
- f*ck that.

The last time I saw Derrick,
we hung out on the beach in Miami.

I think, like,
we felt quite close after that.

I decided to invite him
because I got to New Orleans

and honestly, even though
those guys were all amazing

I didn't have that same chemistry
that I had with Derrick.

I was seeing the example
of all the other girls in the house

bringing people here

and I thought,
"Why should I hold myself back?"

You know, I'm excited to see him.

But anxious.
It's a little bit of both.

- Hi there. Welcome.
- Hello.

- Thanks for coming out.
- How are you?

- Good.
- Nice to see you.

Oh, let's not let her get out.

- Come on, Mosie.
- Hi! Hi!

- Welcome.
- Thanks.

- This is my home.
- Super cute.

Very nice.

I made us some drinks.

- How was your trip?
- It's good. This is nice.

- It's definitely nicer now.
- Yeah?

Yeah.

We're cheering. Cheers.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

I'm glad you asked me to come out.

Yeah. I'm glad you were able to come.

What has been
your favorite part of Santa Fe?

That's the part
where you say "Right now."

Oh, yes! Oh, my god!

Jesus.

So embarrassed now.

Can I get a chai tea latte?

With whole milk.

The gays will cancel me.

- Don't tell anyone.
- Don't tell anyone.

- It should be just a few minutes.
- Thank you.

Go sit at these cool swings.

How do we... How do we get in these?

And bringing me back to childhood.

Oh, god.

Pants are too tight for this.

- It is kind of nice, though.
- It is nice.

So, can you tell me
how this has been?

Because I'm not gonna lie.

- You're not gonna lie.
- It's weird from my point of view.

How has it been from yours?

Very weird.

- Yeah?
- Very weird.

I mean, obviously,
like, I still had dates.

- I've been unhappy with my dates.
- But why?

Because I want to date you,
number one.

You're coming to Hawaii.

What's happening in Hawaii?
What does that even mean?

We are bringing our people
that we've connected the most with

the deepest with,
and we're going on vacation.

We'll see about Hawaii. We'll see.

- Hey. You guys here for the class?
- Hi there.

- Yes.
- Okay. What are your names?

- Kris.
- Kris? I'm Angela.

- Nice to meet you.
- Hi, I'm Derrick.

New Mexico
has a rich tradition of pottery.

Hundreds and hundreds of years

people have been making pottery here.

It is a messy sport.

You guys need to rock
some sweet coveralls.

- You look very cute.
- Oh, thanks. So do you.

Yeah.

Okay, so I have a lump of clay.

I take it, slam it
into the center of the wheel.

Then I wet my hands completely

I'd put my hands all the way around
the clay with my elbows braced

my hands braced together,
thumbs on top of the clay.

So I want to control
all the surfaces of the clay.

You're welcome,
if you want, to get started.

I'm gonna start.

Cool

- What? Yes.
- So strong.

So what brings you to Santa Fe?

Me and a... a few other New Yorkers

are kind of traveling across America

to see if we can meet our true love.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Maybe he's in Miami.

Oh, maybe. That is sweet.

Didn't you say you're a therapist?

We happen to have
a couples therapist in the room.

Oh, my god.

If you guys work out,
who's gonna move?

That's the big question.

One step at a time.

Don't pull the clay too far.

I would love for each person
to kind of show off your piece.

I would classify this closer
to art than form, but it's fun.

Yeah, had a lot of fun.

Mine, I would say,
is a lesson in perseverance.

You know...

If at first you don't succeed,
keep trying.

- That was cute.
- Yeah.

I need more practice.

I think it was great
for a first time.

Yeah.

When I was younger,
I would talk a lot

and my mom would just feed me.

I learned to keep
my mouth shut all the time or...

That was funny.

Pottery was fun.

Yeah. But I think you're more fun.

Thanks.

- What?
- Nothing.

You want to go to bed?

Not immediately, no.

But, but I'm getting tired,
that's all.

Personally, I do feel like

I... I don't necessarily want you
to stay over if it's okay.

Yeah, I mean...

Yeah, that's fine.

- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
- It's okay.

Thank you for coming to Santa Fe.

- Oh, of course.
- I appreciate it.

It was a nice time.

I know that Derrick
was excited to see me.

Trying to figure out
how to feel comfortable sexually

around someone is really hard for me.

I just kind of felt the pressure

and I wasn't ready to engage
with Derrick sexually.

I didn't handle
the situation very well.

I wasn't explicit.

I do think he felt rushed out.

I feel bad about it.

When it comes to opening up,
I wish it were easier.

Are you gonna miss me?

- I am gonna miss you.
- How much?

The most.

I think you should not go.

- I should not go? Ever?
- That's right.

I need you to be slightly upset.

I'm sad that you're going
to be dating other people.

But your dates are gonna be great.

They're gonna be so fun.

Why is your flight not delayed
or something?

I don't know.

I'm not admitting to anything
like that right now.

It'll be okay.

Okay.

- I'll see you later.
- Bye.

Please text me when you get anywhere.

Okay.

Where have you been?

I've been hanging out with Jess.

- Being in love and sh*t?
- Yeah, whatever.

It was cute.

It was very fun.

It's the first time this whole time
we've seen you just, like...

- Yeah, it's, emotions.
- Overflowing.

- Yes.
- Did you get railed?

Did you go on the rail trail?

- We had lots of fun.
- Good.

We had lots of... lots of good times.

I'm not gonna go,
into our hard-core times.

But...

But, yes, we...
we have great sexual chemistry.

Tell me about Don.

Don and I had a blast.

We had such a good date.

It was very playful,
very flirty, very cute.

I feel like before this you were like

"I don't know if I could see
myself kissing Don or not."

I said that before, and then
I was like, "Wow, I'm kissing him."

"Whoa, that happened."

And I'm open to a relationship
with Don, I think, at some point.

But I want to see
the guys in Boulder, too.

I also still want to be, like,
present in this experience.

How was your FaceTime with Ryan?

So we're really excited to, like,
actually see each other next week.

It's nice 'cause now we have
a little bit of a countdown.

I've never had a sweet boyfriend.

Not that he's my boyfriend,
but he's my fiancé.

Okay, let's be honest.

- He's your man.
- Yeah.

- What about your dates, Kris?
- Yeah.

Honestly, all over the place.

Josh was, like,
an awesome experience.

He, like, lives like
a desert hermit nomad.

That's what he called himself.

And he is, like, super open-minded.

And I was just like,
"There's so much to learn from you."

But I don't necessarily think
that practically

we would make the best couple.

And Derrick was here.

Well, so, Derrick was great.

But then, like,
towards the end of the night

he came back, and...
and I got really anxious.

Especially in the g*y community,
there's a lot of expectations

or sex-pectations about,
like, what you're supposed to do

and how quickly, and, like, I...
I asked the guy to come out here.

The night, you know,
we were kind of making out

and I could totally tell that

it wanted to go
in a certain direction.

And it ended really abruptly.

And I... I haven't told
you guys this, but...

I have erectile dysfunction.

Like, very severely.

ED is basically when men
cannot hold or maintain

an erection enough for intercourse.

I really need to feel that I want
to get there with them.

And, like, that only comes
from a level of

like, trust and comfort
that's built over time

and this journey honestly doesn't
give us opportunity to build it

like I normally get to,
and so it's been really tough for me.

Yeah, I... it's sad. It...

it makes me feel like
I'm a failure and I know it's not

but, like, I have all these
things going for me and then

where I'm the least comfortable

is like, that last kind of...

supposed to be the most fun part.

Holding things in is really,
like, poisonous.

Well, it's hard, too, 'cause, like,
for so long I denied it

for so many years,
and then It's like being g*y.

It's like a second coming out.
Like...

Like, really.

- Seriously.
- Well, thank you for telling us.

You did not have to tell us that.
And I really appreciate you.

That's not easy to say out loud.

It's weird. I don't mean to compare
that to... to having a child

but I feel like I have the same thing

where I'm like, "When do I tell them
that I have a daughter?"

- Oh, yeah.
- It's interesting

to just kind of find out
that so many people

have something that they feel
is a reason to hold back

because you're afraid

or you don't wanna be rejected
or something like that.

But it's interesting

because you have a very,
like, sexual online persona.

Online, it's not everything I want

but, like, it's an outlet

for the things that I feel like
I can't have in my real life.

- And, like...
- Yeah, that is a really good answer.

- Holy sh*t.
- And...

That makes so much sense.

So...

Hi, guys.

I feel like I understand you
so much more now.

- Me too.
- Well, I feel like we should hug.

That was a really heavy one.

Is this gonna be our first group hug?

Okay.

- Love you guys.
- Love you guys.

It was uncomfortable talking
to the girls about my ED.

I knew that they were
gonna be supportive.

It's clearly very much colored

the way I'm interacting with guys
throughout this journey.

And if you ever get to the point

when you're really excited
to hook up with someone

and then you can't,
it's really frustrating.

For Derrick,
he's a very understanding guy.

I think he will be happy to know

but I could see someone kind
of being overwhelmed

and I wouldn't blame him for that.

Before, I was definitely
feeling a little bad.

Like, am I closed off?

Do I keep people at a distance
because I'm afraid of commitment?

And actually, this week I'm realizing

It's not because I'm blocked
from relationships or anything.

It's actually just because
that's my process

in figuring out if I trust someone.

That's actually pretty smart.

It's pretty smart to do.

I really want to be with her

But we have not defined
our relationship.

It would be so selfish to even try
to define it with her

because I'm still in this experience

and all my friends are going on dates

and, like, I'm gonna probably
want to go on dates

you know, in Boulder and in Seattle.

That's not a fair conversation
to have yet

'til I'm, like, fully available
physically, mentally, emotionally.

My feelings are definitely
developing for Ryan.

Like, and they're getting stronger.

It's really refreshing and, like,
really, it's a nice feeling.

So, he's coming to Boulder next week.

I'm excited to see
what happens there.

So, Ross basically asked me
to invite him back

and I was like, why the heck not?

I have actually talked
to Ross this whole time.

Here and there.

Yes, Ross, I don't think necessarily

has long-term potential
like Don perhaps does.

But Ross could be a great fling

and a very fulfilling fling.

I didn't mean to make it sound like

I'm inviting Ross out here...

to, like, finger me or something.

I don't know what's gonna happen
maybe I'm gonna get freaked out

and not let him even touch my elbow.

And maybe...

Maybe I'll let him touch my butt.

Ross has, like, parents, you know?

So I can't talk about him like this.

I'm hot.