01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

Not hungry?

Just distracted.

Tuition's due.

You think it's better to take
out crippling student loans

or max out my credit cards?

[laughing] Yeah.

I love Chinese food.

[men groaning with pleasure]

I love you.

- What?
- I love you.

You don't have to say anything.

I mean,

all I mean is that,

in a general sense
you're awesome.

You're rad.

You're lit.

Usually.

Okay. Shut up and f*ck me.

[men continue groaning]

So he said that he loves you?

Right in the middle of sex.

That's like psychosomatic.

Well, my dad used
to say that guys

would have to say I love
you in order to get sex.

So I guess it's like
a mental association

between having sex
and saying I love you.

For old people.

Science explains everything.

How many times have
you seen this guy?

Three and a half.

Half?

He dropped me off
a new iPhone, so I
blew him in his car.

No wonder he loves you.

Well, what are you gonna do?

I don't know.

Maybe he won't say it again.

No. It's like a can of pop.

Once you open it,

you gotta drink it or
it loses all its fizz.

You thing my relationship
is gonna go flat

if I don't say I love you back?

Every time.

Then I don't know.

I don't wanna lead him on.

I would just say it.

You don't have to mean it.

Just break up with
him whenever you want.

It's not a relationship,
it's an arrangement.

I feel like he crossed a line.

How about you?

Any cherry juice on the
back of those pants?

I haven't popped my
cherry, thank you very much.

He bought you
shoes, a computer,

a week's worth of clothes,

and you haven't put out?

No.

Dude.

I'm not ready.

How's he doing with all that?

He's cool.

He just likes my company.

He just values you
as a conversationalist.

And knows your search
for a daddy going?

We've got an overdue power bill.

I have got a different
thing going on.

Got some handyman
work to do right now.

Plus, I'm late.

I gotta go to work,

'cause I don't want
us to get evicted,

and I don't want
myself to get deported.

I don't wanna work.

I want to be high, and
party, and f*ck, and dance.

Wait a minute,
you're a foreigner?

You know I'm Canadian.

Isn't that where Alaska is?

Is Alaska not part of Canada?

[gate creaking]

[door knocking]

Mr. O'Malley?

Mr. O'Malley?

[hammer banging]

[woman screaming]

Whoa!

[Mickey groaning]

Who are you?

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. I was just
putting these up for you.

Why are you naked?

I'm going to work after
this at a different job.

I didn't want to get
my clothes dirty.

No one was home,

I didn't think
anyone would see me.

I'm sorry.

Where's my husband?

Are you Miss O'Malley?

I'm Mickey.

Mr. O'Malley hired me
to put these up for you

about a week, maybe 10 days ago.

Did he?

You wanted a study?

I've wanted it
for a long time.

Should I get dressed?

Suit yourself.

Seven and eight.

Pique one, two.

Spiral, three, four.

Jump, five, six.

Contraction, seven,
chassé eight.

Enveloppé, one, two.

But don't rush, three.

Plié, four, spiral, five, six.

Walk, seven, eight.

And on one, that's it Clark.

Two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight.

Enveloppé, one, two, a three.

Big plié, four, spiral, five.

Six, walk, seven, eight.

Hold there.

All right. Relax.

Let's switch lines.

From the top.

And one.

Wanna grab a burger?

Do you really think this
relationship is ready for lunch?

We only had sex once.

It's just a burger.

Hmm.

I do crave meat.

[Clark scoffing]

Well, I got fired
from my handyman gig.

[Bud tutting]

What did you do?

The husband and wife had
some conflicting ideas.

So you're down
to just two jobs.

One.

You've given up on your
energy drink pyramid scheme?

Dude, we gotta have a party

just to give all that sh*t away.

Do you have a card?

I can call you anytime I
need work under the condo.

His daddy pays for his condo.

You can just reach
me through Bud.

Well, I guess that means

you have to gimme
your digits then.

Smooth.

All right.

I better get back to work,
otherwise I'll have zero jobs.

Leave me a f*cking tip.

You are my roommate and friend.

I wouldn't insult you by
paying you like a servant.

f*ck you.

Leave me a f*cking tip.

So classless.

I'll get the tip.

So do you wanna come
back to my place?

I feel like we're becoming
more friends than booty calls.

Well, we could be both.

I'm not looking for this

in my life

right now.

This?

This hot, handsome,
struggling artists

shacking up living
on love situation.

I'm just working out some
other sh*t right now.

Other priorities.

Sounds serious.

We're in the same
boat, you and me.

I just need to get my boat
seaworthy before I sink.

Okay.

See you in class.

Everybody wants a serious
relationship with me today.

I just want someone who's
gonna use me sexually

and pay me off.

Well what are you gonna do?

I'm gonna look
for a better deal.

I mean, I will
put up with a lot,

but not with an old man
telling me he loves me.

Even my grandfather doesn't
get away with that sh*t.

I might too.

[Bud] What?

Look for a better deal.

Who has a better
deal than you?

All you have to do is sit
there and look pretty,

and he buys you
whatever you ask him to.

Yeah, but I've seen
him like five times.

I should start with someone new.

Mm.

This guy

wants to meet.

Is that your plan?

To just string each
one along with no sex

for as long as you can,

and then jump to the next
one and never put out.

Do you think it'll work?

I don't know.

I've never not had
sex on the first date.

I don't think I could
handle all that listening.

I'm really good at listening.

You have attention deficit.

And you sold all your ADD
drugs at a Flo-Rida concert.

Yeah, but I look
like I'm listening.

Well, I wouldn't
dump your sugar daddy

until you've found a new one.

Don't count your chickens.

What chickens?

[door closing]

I'm Paul.

Tab.

Pretty cute, Tab.

Thanks.

Can I get you
a glass of water?

Sure.

[water rushing]

Thanks.

Well.

Let's see.

Let's see what?

You.

See the goods you're
selling and I'm buying.

Take your shirt off.

Oh.

[Paul chuckling]

You're a gym bunny.

I'm not a bunny.

Keep going.

Where?

Pants.

Do you want to go grab
dinner or something?

It's four o'clock.

We could go shopping.

I don't really have
time to go shopping.

I work at 6.30.

Oh.

I have time for
you to suck my d*ck.

No. I don't even know you.

That's why you're here, right?

To have sex?

No, not just like that.

Oh.

That's fine.

No, we can just hang out.

Cool.

I'm not gonna give you
any money though, right?

Like, I already have friends.

I don't have to pay anyone
to hang out with me.

I know.

Have you done this before?

Yeah.

So you know how it works.

You know what sugar is?

Presents.

It means you give me sex
and I give you presents.

Yeah.

So.

So do you wanna suck my
d*ck so you can get paid?

I'm just gonna go.

Go ahead.

[notes rustling]

So, I was thinking we
could start pooling tips.

f*ck.

Sorry.

Sarah, you make the most
tips out of everyone here.

Yeah, I know.

You'd lose money.

Yeah, I get it.

Look, you work just
as hard as I do.

Okay. You could work on
your flirt game a little.

But they're never gonna
let you wear a mini skirt.

And even if you did flirt,
men are better tippers.

So, fair's fair.

This is like insanely nice.

Hang in there Mickey.

You're gonna make it.

[coins clinking]

[Bud sighing]

Well, do you want
to go to the mall?

I could use a headband.

We went shopping
the last four times.

I don't like shopping as
much as you do, oddly enough.

We can go get dinner.

We just had dinner.

Ah, yeah.

I could use another dinner.

Why don't we go to my place
where we can talk in private?

Well, what do you
want to talk about?

You know what about.

It's nice here.

Thanks.

Can I have some water?

I've gotten a sense
that you're not that
interested in me.

I think you're interesting.

Sexually.

I'm just nervous, I guess.

I get it.

I'm not naive.

I understand why you're here.

You don't understand
why I'm here.

When I was your age,
I was in the closet.

A lot of people were.
It was a different time.

I was in denial

and afraid

So as a result, I missed out
on a lot of things in my youth

that I'm trying to
make up for now.

I didn't afford myself

the freedom of playing around.

I didn't feel free.

At your age, I'd never
even been in love.

Neither have I.

Thanks.

♪ Give me one kiss goodbye

♪ Don't try to make
me stay for a while ♪

[upbeat music]