01x04 - Mudlarks

[bunniefuu]

You were supposed to be
protecting me.

Now, find that boy!

Argh!

What's the word on the street?

New boy in town,
four feet tall, top hat.

I ain't seen a boy
in a top hat, sir.

What's a top hat?

SIGHS

Thank you.

There's a new boy knocking around
in Fagin's den.

So, Fagin's recruiting again, is he?

Wears a top hat, could be him.

They call him...

..Dodger.

No.

No.

Yes.

You'll do very nicely.

There, there.

Nice and quiet.

SCREAMING

Stop yawning.

Yes, sir.

And stand up straight.

Sorry, sir, I didn't get
much sleep last night, sir.

Do I look like I care?

No, sir. Correct.

Right, what have you got for me?

We've had reports of children
vanishing off the streets, sir.

Disappearing into thick air.

And smuggling has gone
rife again, sir.

Customs officers have reported cargo
going missing before ship stopped.

Thrown overboard for smugglers
to pick up.

I don't care about that.

What about the boy?

The boy, sir? You know, the boy,
the one with the top hat.

You have to narrow it down
a bit, sir.

Oh, for goodness' sake, the boy
who tried to k*ll the Queen.

Oh, that boy!

Well?

No, nothing on him, sir.

Take these and stick them
all over the city.

£20 reward!

That's a lot of money.
That should flush him out.

Where exactly would you like us
to stick these, sir?

Anywhere with a surface.

Not there!

Fagin, you will not believe
what I've just nicked.

Hmm.

What is it? Bird box on legs?

Well, it's a thing... Yeah.
..that makes pictures.

Just now we were hanging
about outside

when this posh bloke
turned up with it.

How would you like to take part
in a little experiment?

Testing out a new invention of mine.

It captures images in time
like a mirror,

and saves them to paper.

I'm taking pictures
of all sorts of people

to tell a story of life in Britain
from the very highest of the high

to the lowest of the low.

That's where you come in.

Charming!

Eh?

That's magic!

No, it's science.

It's all about light and chemicals.

Who's that ugly fella?

It's my mother.

Look at that.

If you want to put us in this
magic box, it'll cost ya,

we don't come cheap. All right.

How does a penny sound? Each.

Oh, all right, fine.

Then you've got yourself a deal. Ah!

Right, what have we got to do?
Nothing.

Nothing? You've just got to stand
still for a few minutes.

How does it work?

All you got to do
is look into it...

And...

Freeze.

Why can't we move?

It will blur and it will
render it useless.

The poor in Canning Town
were very still,

so, something to aim for.

Oh, so the punter's staring
into this thing, frozen...

..and he doesn't know
what's going on behind him?

Yeah.

There? No. Lower.

Still, perfectly still.

Don't move a muscle.

Oh, officer, officer,
I recognise that boy.

It's the police! What?!

Where? Right over there.

Officer, I'd like to report
a robbery.

We could make a fortune with this.

And you can take this thing
anywhere, can you?

Who don't want a picture
of themselves to put on a mantle,

to say, "Look at me
when I had hair and a tooth!"

What are you getting at, Fagin?

You're going to take
this contraption

to the biggest houses you can find,
shops, fancy mansions, whatever.

You get the home owner,
shop owner, to pose.

And while they're posing, you rob
them blind behind their back.

And all the time, they're staring
into this gizmo thinking,

"What a lovely day it is today
and I'm having it immortalised."

THEY LAUGH

By the time they've noticed
what's been lifted,

you're halfway down the road.

You expect us to rob people
while they're standing right there?

Yeah, it's exactly what you do
when you're pickpocketing,

only this is easier. Easier?

They could turn around and see us.
They could, but they won't.

Probably. Maybe.

Oh, Fagin, I don't know,
it's too risky.

I'll do it.

Ah, Dodger!
I knew you'd come through.

Now, listen, you start with
Stebbing's on Exmouth Street.

That old goat deserves
everything he gets.

Where are you going?

I ain't taking part in this.

We nearly got caught
at that waxwork place.

This lot all ran away
and left us to it.

We could have been arrested -
or hung.

Oh, that's the nature of the game,
my dear.

It's a high wire act being a magpie.

I don't see you up on that wire.

You're down on the ground
watching as all wobble.

And if we do fall, you'd run in
the other direction, wouldn't you?

How dare you speak to me like that?

You ungrateful little bunion.

I'm going to find an honest job.

Yeah, well, good luck with that.

I've told you,
there's no such thing.

DOOR SLAMS
I'll bring her around.

Yeah - and I want an apology,
an' all.

Amazing!

Oh, come on, Charley,
you can't leave.

Why not? No-one's going to miss me.

The others all think I'm strange
anyway. Is that it, then?

Yeah.

So where are you going to go?

Don't care, as long as
it's not here.

The life of a magpie
takes its toll sometimes.

The guilt hangs heavy on the gut.

Some people like the butterflies
in here, Dodger.

People like you and me.

Others don't.

They get the sickness, the fear.

Haven't got any jobs, have you?
I'm willing to work.

Sorry.

Any jobs?

People like her.

That's because she's honest, see?

Now, in most places,
that's a good thing, but here...

Need I say more?

Are you sure you don't want
to go with her?

Yeah.

Yeah. Good boy.

Get to work.

MUFFLED: Saunders Ness sandbank?

That's miles away.

You dropped it too far out.

The captain was getting suspicious.

I had to dump 'em fast.

You fool! I can't have cargo like
that floating out on the river.

That's your problem.

I want paying.

Oh, do you?

I know where your little
daughter sleeps.

It'd be a shame to have her snatched
from her bed now, wouldn't it?

Please, no.

It's your lucky day.

Tomorrow's the neap tide.

I'll send someone on foot
to fetch the cargo.

If they fail, I'll pay you
and your daughter a visit.

Saunders Ness!

Help me!

Hello?

Are you are all right?

Usually, if we're about to rob
somewhere,

we wait for the geezer
to be out, not in.

All right, you all know
what you're doing?

I don't know why I can't be
the photographer.

Because you look too young
to be an inventor.

No-one would believe you.

Anyway, I'm in charge
and you'll do what I say.

Let's go.

Pleasure as always.

What do you want?

Good afternoon, Mr Stebbing.

We are approaching all the reputable
shopkeepers in London,

and we wanted to know if you
would like to take part

in a little experiment. No.

You don't know what it is yet!

You see, my invention here

can turn your image
into something like this.

Show him, boy.

You did these?

Yes.

Would you like one of these
in your window?

You'll be the envy of every
jeweller in London.

Where do you want me?

Right!

Come towards me,
come over a little bit, um...

Right.

Yeah, come over a little bit.

Yeah, that's it.

Good.

All right.

Oh, can you see the whole shop,
the sign and everything?

Yeah, lovely.

Got it all.

Now, what do I do?

You hold still for five minutes
and stare into this thing.

All right? Don't move your head.

Not even your eyes.

Stay stiff as a corpse.

Hang on, five minutes?

I'd better lock up the shop.

No, no - don't, don't lock up.

The boy will take care of that.

I'd rather just lock it, there are
a lot of priceless jewels in there.

No... Wait!

Just leave the door as it is. Why?

Because of the reflections.

You'll see us in the glass
and it'll ruin the picture.

Oh, yeah, good thinking.

Right.

So, hold still.

From...now.

She's coming. Meal buckets ready.

Oh, my grubby little mudlarks.

What have you got for me
from the mud?

Oh.

Good.

Very good.

Now, that is what I like to see.

Gold, very useful.

What's this? An oyster shell.

I thought it was pretty.

It's useless.

Like you.

Take her down to dig.

Wait! No, I don't want to go,
please!

The diggers never come back
from there, please!

It's too late. Please!
Take her away.

Someone's here.

Someone who shouldn't be.

You!

Get her!

Oi!

Lucifer, got her for you.

Leave us.

Who are you?

I'm your new mistress.

You set foot on my mud.

That makes you my mudlark.

GLASS SHATTERS

What was that?

Er... Nothing, it was just...
It was a bird.

It was a bird, yeah.

And...we...are...done.

Ha, ha! I think I might have
blinked.

Nah, nah, you're all right.

We'll back later on with
your picture. All right? Bye.

Yes. Ta-ra.

What am I supposed to do?

Find stuff. Like what?

Anything that washes off the Thames.
Bits of wood, bits of fat.

Look, she's got a gold coin! Get it!

Give it.

Oi, give that back.

Let's give this to Lucifer,
come on!

That's mine, I found it.

Watch your fingers.
Here, here? Yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, oh...

£20, eh? Yeah.

What would you do with that money?

I'd get my wife a decent wooden leg.

You know, she's always leaning
to the side,

so she'll be able to stand up
straight for once.

Mm. And I'd get a horse.

Get the girls something nice. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah.

If we found him,
would we get that reward?

Of course not. It's our job.

We get paid already.

Don't seem fair, does it? Yeah.

I mean, £20, that's ten times
more than we earn in a week. Mm.

I've been thinking, right?

What if we found him...

..yeah... Yeah? ..and we didn't tell
the boss, we tell my nan instead.

All right, well,
what would your nan do?

Well, my nan,
she's not the police, right? Right.

Which means she could claim
the reward

and give us the money - and then we
can split it half and half.

You might not be able to buy a whole
wooden leg,

but you might be able to get,
I don't know, a foot or some toes.

£20.

Yeah. It's a lot of money. Yeah.

What do you think?

I think you should be
ashamed of yourself.

Oh.

I'm disappointed in you, Duff.

We're meant to be upholding
the law, not breaking it.

I was just thinking out loud,
I didn't mean it.

Well, don't think out loud
and don't let anyone hear you.

It worked.

Yeah, thanks to me.

Aha!

Come on, then, let's see it.

Go on, Polly.

THEY GRUNT AND GRUMBLE

Try this one.

Nothing.

Argh!

You've just nicked the packaging,
you soft biscuit.

What good's a jewellery box
without a jewel inside?

You should have checked the boxes
before you nicked 'em!

Remember,

if we don't rob...

..we don't get food.

If we don't get food, we don't eat.

If we don't eat, we starve.

And if we starve, what do we do?

ALL: We die.
Exactly.

Now get back out there
and don't come back

till you got something
worth flogging.

HE CHUCKLES

Why are you here?

Came for my coin.

Coin?

The coin I found in the river

that those muddy flunks
stole from me.

You're not from around these parts.

How do you know?

Because no-one who knows me

would be foolish enough
to steal from my river.

SNIFFS

Barley, cotton.

SNIFFS

Freshly-cut grass.

A country girl,
hasn't been in the city long.

SMELLS DEEPLY

Oh, not a speck of soot
in those lungs, strong as a bull.

Ooh...

Another tooth gone.

Oh, yes.

All this washed up,

unnoticed, unloved.

I collected it all.

I collect lots
of things from the river.

And now...

..I've collected you.

Right, you stay here,
look after this.

I want to find a decent house
worth nicking from.

You all right, Dodge?

I'm fine.

She will come back, you know,
once she sees what's out there.

They always do.

I don't care if Charley
comes back or not.

I've moved on.

I've found the perfect gaff.

Even the pebbles in the path
are worth nicking, come on.

Hurry up!

KNOCKS ON DOOR

Me and my assistant here

are wondering if a sophisticated
gentleman like yourself

would like to have your
image captured

as part of a little experiment.

Oh, a calotype!

Yeah.

Yes. Come in.

I used to be at the bottom
of the heap,

just like you,
when I was a little...

..match girl.

It wasn't much of a life,
the factory...

..dipping the matchsticks
in phosphorus every single day.

It's the phosphorus, you see...

..it rots you way,
softens the bones.

It starts as a toothache,
and then...

Mm.

MUMBLING: ..your teeth fall out.
Phossy jaw, they call it.

The factory owners, they know
all about it, but they do nothing.

I'm dying on the inside,
it's k*lling me, and no-one cares.

Well, I'm going to make them care.

You think I'm hiding down
here in the shadows?

I'm not hiding.

I'm waiting.

Waiting for what?

Oh, you'll see.

Now, hold your breath while I count.

Why?

It's a little game. Children
like playing games, don't they?

Now, hold your breath.

How did you get involved?

We're in his camera club.

Oh, I see, and you prefer this
process to the Daguerreotype?

Yes, yes, definitely.

We're calotyping all parts
of society to capture life

in Britain today.

Oh, splendid.

CHUCKLING

You are...
You're starting at the top.

THEY CHUCKLE

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Yes. Right, now,
which room would be best?

Whichever you prefer, sir.

Oh, perhaps the drawing room.

Or there's... Excuse me. ..my study.

Is there anyone else in the house,
sir? Any pets or big dogs?

Why do you ask?

Just in case you want them
in a picture.

Oh, I see! No, no, not today.

Ned, my young lawyer,
is in Morocco

and the housekeeper
is off with the goitre.

Right, you can take
a look at the study.

It is rather gloomy.

Perhaps, um... Excuse me.

Perhaps the drawing
room has better light.

49, 50...

Good, good, strong lungs.

Oh, the best I've heard.

Oh, you're going to be very useful.

Yes, yes.

Yes.

Come here. I want you to collect
something for me from the mud.

Yes, it's a keg.

Don't look inside. No peeping.

Walk along the causeway at low tide.
You'll see it.

But be careful, there are
sinkholes everywhere.

The mud will swallow
you up in seconds.

Two of my mud larks have tried
and failed already.

They didn't have enough
puff to survive.

So, watch your step.

If you're too t*rd, the tide
will sweep you away straight to sea.

It's a bit of a challenge,
but then you strike me as a girl

who likes a challenge.

Mm-hm.

If you try to escape,
I will find you.

My tunnels run under every
inch of London.

I will...
SNIFFS

..sniff you out and drag you down.

What if I stand in front
of my medals?

Ah, perfect, perfect.

There's one for Waterloo,
one from King George IV,

and one from Her Majesty
for services to the Police Force.

Police Force?

Yes, I'm Commissioner of the
Metropolitan Police.

Commissioner.

Chief, sort of Top Dog.

Maybe not.

Ah!

Now,

actually, there is someone
I'd like in the picture.

Mother.

KNOCKING

Oh, would you excuse me
for a moment, please?

What were we thinking?

Out of all the houses in London,
why did we have to rob his?

You picked it! Shh!
We have to get out of here now.

So, you've got news about the boy.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Not yet.

But I do have something really juicy
for you, sir.

Who's he talking to? I don't know.

Something big which
involves Lucifer. Lucifer.

Shh!

She has ears everywhere.

Well, go on.
Don't take me for a mug.

Big news means big money.

SIGHS

She's had another drop.

She's sending someone to collect
the goods at neap tide.

How do you know all this?

You'd be amazed what you hear just
hanging about all day,

if you keep the lugholes open.
Where?

Oh.

Where? Hurry up, I have visitors.

The sandbanks of Saunders Ness.
Saunders Ness.

Right. Clear off.

Sorry about that, right?

Let's get this over with.

Something has come up, I'm afraid.

Mother.

There's a new boy knocking around
in Fagin's g*ng.

They call him Dodger.

Could be him.

You just signed your death warrant.
Eh?

You nicked the Police Commissioner's
dead mother, you pancake.

She must be very small.

No, Tang, these are her ashes.

I'll take it back. No, you won't.

You never return to the scene
of the crime. You'll get snaffled.

Of all the houses in London,
why'd you pick that one?

It had the best knocker.

What happened to you?
Your brains turn to porridge?

You know what?
I'm not taking this.

If anyone needs me,
I'll be on the roof on my own.

Don't jump off. Yeah, whatever.

Fagin, I've just had a thought.

Not interested.
Don't want to hear it.

Tang, tell him about the smuggling.

What smuggling?

When we were at the policeman's
house, someone came - a snitch.

Who was it? No idea.

He said there'd been a drop
at Saunders Ness,

down by the Isle of Dogs,
and the police are going to trap

anyone who goes to collect
at low tide. Unlucky for them.

What if we get there before them
and nick it ourselves?

If it's worth smuggling,
it's bound to be pricey.

Can you swim? No.
But it can't be that hard.

If frogs can swim - and frogs are
thick - I'm sure I can pick it up.

I'm sure. They said something
about Lucifer.

What? Lucifer.

She's sending one of her mudlarks
to fetch the goods.

Who's Lucifer?

Phew. If you want to live long
enough to be the Artful Codger,

keep away.

It's not worth it.

Where are you going? Fagin's just
told you not to get involved.

I never do what I'm told.

Listen, Lucifer's dangerous.

Like, one of the most wanted
criminals ever.

No-one messes with her.
Not even the police?

No, not even the police. She nicks
kids while they're sleeping.

I'll be fine.

I tried.

I can't believe he was in my house.

Bolder than a brass bonobo.

Broad daylight.
Bonobo? It's an instrument.

No-one needs to know about this,
you understand?

If it gets out that this Dodger
character was in my home,

I'll be the biggest joke in London.

Yeah. He would. He would.

And he stole my mother.

I mean, what's left of her.

This boy is a slippery as an eel
in a Turkish bath.

I want him jellied, fast.
We will make it our priority, sir.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

No. No.

Erm, Lucifer and the smugglers.
We have to deal with this first.

I've had pressure from the palace.

Someone smuggled all the royal
pomegranates off the last shipment,

and Her Majesty is seething.

So, Duff, get down to Saunders Ness
just before low tide

and we'll catch them at it,
pink handed.

And Blathers,
you keep on looking for the Dodger.

Get those posters up all over town.

Don't worry, sir, we'll get
your mum's crumbs back for you.

Oh, where exactly is Saunders...
Saunders Ness?

The Isle of Dogs.

Yeah. Where's that?

Catford, innit? Yeah.

WHISTLES

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Someone told me you're a little
tittle-tattle.

Nah, I only tattle
for the right price.

As for tittling, well, I... Erm...

I don't know about that.
Depends what you're willing to pay.

Don't you play your games with me.

I'm not your average customer.

No, I can see that.

Now, I have something special I want
you to pass on to your friend,

the police chief.

GASPS
Be sure to tell him.

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

Another round on tick?

Your tick tocked off
a long time ago.

Fagin, I've got to tell
you something.

Dodger went to the mudflats.

I weren't supposed to say anything.

He wanted to prove he could take
on Lucifer and bring back the goods.

Well, get down to Saunders Ness
and stop him.

Come off it, he's a goner.
Just do it! Now!

SPLUTTERS

MUFFLED CRIES

MUFFLED CRIES

Help! Help! Jack?

Grab my hand!
SPLUTTERS

Come on! Get out! Get out! Go on!

Argh! That's it.

Argh!

COUGHS

Are you all right?

Charley! You're Lucifer's mudlark?!

I thought you wanted an honest job.
So did I.

What's even in that?

Oi!
PHWEEP

We've got to get out of here.

I can see ya! Where are you going?
You're going the wrong way!

Can't go back without it,
she'll k*ll me!

There's no escaping,
she's everywhere. Who's everywhere?

Lucifer! Oi!

Come back with me.
Fagin will forgive you.

I haven't got a choice.
It's the boy!

Why would she want to blow
up a matchstick factory?

Because of her face.

It was the match factory
that made her ill.

All that funny powder they use.
Phosphorous.

Yeah. Her jawbone is rotting,
her teeth are falling out

and her brain's buttered
on the wrong side.

There's a cover-up in the factories.

She says everyone knows -
the government, factory owners,

but nobody does anything about it.

So she says she will.

Midnight tonight.

She's going to blow it sky-high.

Midnight tonight.

So, you! You tried to steal it from
me before I could send my girl!

No, of course not.

Strong lungs.

BREATHES HEAVILY

What are you doing?

You're mine now. So you might as
well make yourself useful.

Come with me.

You too. And bring that.

Where we're going,
we're going to need it.

Look! Oh, no.

Is that it?

Is that all you found?

GRUNTS

The Romans built these tunnels,
hundreds of them.

A whole network linking
a whole city.

They lay undiscovered for centuries,
until now.

I need you to take this down there.

It's not so difficult,
except for the air.

It's full of methane, you see?

It's a poisonous gas.

Breathe in too much,
it makes you dizzy,

breathe in some more,
it makes you faint.

Breathe in even more, it...

Well, you can imagine the rest.

So you'd better not breathe.

What if we can't hold our
breath that long?

Then you better take small sips.

Whoever makes it to the end
gets their freedom.

Tug on the rope when you get there.

What's at the end of the tunnel?

Surprise.

Go on.

I want every building
in every street

within a five mile radius
of the factory evacuated.

If we can't stop this attack,

the whole city will become
one big conflagration.

It could make
the Great Fire of London

look like a baby's birthday candle.

How is she going to blow it up?

The ship that Lucifer smuggled
from was loaded with saltpetre.

Salt what? Saltpetre.

expl*sives!
GASPS

Hold your breath.

Evacuate the matchstick factory!
Evacuate the building!

Everybody out!

SPLUTTERS
Charley, don't breathe in!

GROANS
Come on!

We made it!

BOTH COUGH

Don't breathe in.

COUGHS

Evacuate the street!
There's going to be an expl*si*n.

SCREAMS

TICKING

COUGHS
Charley! It's a fuse!

Charley, we need to get out of here!
Charley!

GROANS

TICKING

LOUD BLAST

SHOUTS AND SCREAMS

FLAMES CRACKLE

She's tricked us.
She's tricked us all.

The factory must be dust by now.
Good job we cleared everyone out.

It's still standing.
But we heard it! It was a decoy.

Lucifer misfed information,

got us to evacuate the whole
town so she could rob it.

Rob what, sir? The Bank of England.

She's blown a hole
in the Bank of England.

No.

Dodger.

Never disobey me again.

You got that?

I thought you were dead.

You were lucky this time, but one
day your luck's going to run out.

COUGHS

Can I have my roof back?
No-one else wants it.

We got all muddied up just to save
your stupid hat from drowning.

Now, that old wizard might
have a soft spot for you,

but I've got nothing but hard spots
where you're concerned.

Yeah!

So from now on, you can do
exactly as you're told.

You two look like you need a drink.
Ha-ha-ha!

You're dustier than
a camel's eyelash!

Cheers. Cheers.

Cheers. Whatever.
GLUGS

Another round?

One bar? One bar.

Lucifer blew a hole in the Bank
of England and only took one bar.

That's what the man
at the bank said. Yeah.

But why?

Why go for all that trouble
just to steal one bar of gold?

FALTERING BREATH

Ha-ha-ha...ha-ha-ha!

MANIACAL LAUGH

Oh, Mother.

"Dear Sir Charles, still no luck
ketching" - hah - "me I see.

"Watch your pockets, because someday
when I'm north of the river,

"I might pick yours.

"The Dodger."

WHAT?!