Space Rodent, The (2025)

[bunniefuu]

Thank you.

You have to open your mouth wider. I

can't get that small of a target.

Okay, hold still.

Oh, my God. Hold on.

What? Yeah.

Oh, God, your hands are cold. Yeah, it's

okay.

Tia, meet Tamara.

Yeah,

that's it. Is it?

Naked thing is too much.

Stay still.

Hold on, hold on.

Okay, don't move.

Perfect. All right, hold on.

What's happening?

Oh, yeah.

You have light all over you, girl. Oh,

my God, I'm shedding. Yeah.

You're good now.

Okay. All right, Mac.

Wider.

Wider. Mac, you know the drill.

You're being ridiculous.

I like having friends.

Fine. No fire.

What fire?

I have got to hear this.

All right. So you guys know our friends

Doug and Samantha, right?

Okay. Well, Mac thought it'd be a good

idea to show Doug a flame trick.

No, that's not the story.

It was a barbecue lid. It wouldn't

close.

He literally knocked the barbecue over

and set their entire patio furniture on

fire. Wait, what?

Their brand new set? Did you have to pay

for it?

No, thank God. With me just bartending

and Mac out of work, we can't afford

that. Hi. Hey. No.

In between gigs. I'm in between gigs.

Yeah, for six months.

You see, I have a particular set of

skills that I was blessed with, and they

should be compensated for. I think

that's fair.

You know, we have a barbecue, and we

wouldn't charge either, you know, if

anything bad happened.

Hey, now.

What? I don't see this place catching

fire a bad thing. Okay.

You know what?

Fantasia never did anything but love

you.

It's a never -ending story thing.

Don't encourage it.

I hate this place.

This place is a family heirloom. Your

uncle went to prison, and then we moved

two weeks later.

Like I said, heirloom. I like it. I

think it's cozy.

Thank you.

Everything is cozy.

Okay, please behave, both of you. You

sure you just don't want to come with us

tonight? We're sure.

We'll be back around 3 a .m.

Well, why don't you girls just hang out

with us tonight, I mean?

What, and watch Ancient Aliens with you?

That is a great show.

So many discoveries.

Aliens are a fact of life, and we need

to be prepared. In fact... Wait, no.

Babe?

Well, I was... Put the book away.

No. No, thank you.

Okay. Um, please feed the children.

What children?

The trick -or -treaters. You don't feed

the kids candy?

I mean... Last year he put a sign out

that read, Bring this bell and die.

There we go.

I mean, it's not ambiguous.

They're children.

Please give them candy.

Okay, sure.

I'll encourage the behavior of walking

up to a complete stranger's home. The

third Halloween, yeah.

Walk the matches.

Top left door. You're welcome.

She can hear you.

Quick, he's talking about Fantasia. Go.

You want to see something cool?

Do I want to see something cool? Yeah.

Oh, now. You meant now.

Well, when you said cool, your bathroom

didn't come to mind.

Magic time.

You ready?

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Nice. Is that new?

Oh, yeah.

And that's not all.

Okay.

You install these yourself?

You really fancied the place up, didn't

you? Oh, yeah.

All sensors?

I don't have to touch a thing. It really

is like magic.

All right. I'm not going to. This is

awesome.

I'm told that. This is fantastic,

actually.

Wait, why did you do all the additions

if Skylar wants to leave?

What? Why would we leave this place?

We've got everything we need right here.

Yeah, I don't know.

Are we really going to watch Ancient

Aliens?

Oh yeah, I got like ten seasons. Go pick

one and can I get you a drink?

Yes and yes.

Why is this in your car?

Oh, my God.

f*cking Dean keeps putting that in my

car every time I'm about to go

What's that?

Give it to me. You know what's f*cked

up?

This.

Oh, yeah.

This is awesome.

This is fantastic.

Oh, my gosh. Who even has these anymore?

You know, they say that aliens live deep

underwater and among us.

Like...

Regularly.

Yeah, I don't know about all that.

These are like records, man.

This is crazy.

Do you have something to play this?

Can you take a neat?

Is there any other way?

I think we're going to do season 11.

No, going on with the whole job thing.

You really think that they're

underground? Like in the water

I see what you're doing.

Yes, I do believe, though. Okay.

Six months, though? That's... Well, it's

more like five and a half, but... Yeah.

Look, I'm trying to start my own

company, okay? And the process is taking

little bit longer than I would hope,

than I thought.

But Amanda just... She just... wants me

to get a job now. She wants me to get a

piece of sh*t job that pays sh*t, and

it's stupid, and she wants me to give up

on my hopes, and she doesn't believe in

my dreams.

I don't know if all that's true, that

last part, but it's stupid.

Do you think that maybe she feels

frustrated because she feels alone?

she wants the thing between you two to

go further.

But you're not going and getting a job,

not bringing home any money. It feels

like you don't care.

That's some deep sh*t.

All right.

Serious question.

Serious answer.

Okay. Seriously, though.

All right. Which drugs are off the table

tonight?

And how far is, like, officially

cheating?

Amanda. I know.

Okay, I want to get f*cked up, but I'm

not trying to f*ck up my whole life.

Well, that's fine. So what drug?

Okay,

so... Weed? Yes.

Alcohol?

Cocaine? Candy.

Yay, all right.

Okay.

Okay. I don't...

What did...

I don't know.

Now this is a true work of art.

Oh, like an indie film.

Because of China.

Oh, God, no. This is a porn. No. No, no,

yes.

It's naked people. This is an

artistically driven narrative about two

physically expressing their love for one

another.

Yeah, I know.

What's the title thing for?

The Night We f*cked.

We'd be f*cked.

No. f*cked is a situation I'm currently

in.

What are you talking about?

It's Max.

I mean, you know I love him more than

anything, but he hasn't worked for six

months. Drained our savings.

Talking to him about it? No, I just

don't want to piss him off, you know?

Okay, that sounds very wife -beater -ish

to me.

Nothing like that. I just haven't found

the right time.

It's a sensitive topic.

So let's switch topics.

Uh, how are you, Dean and Fantasia?

f*cking wh*re. Skye, it's not that bad.

Okay, it's that bad. You know what?

I've needed this for a long time.

Don't say that. Same here.

You know, we used to go on vacations all

the time.

And then we just stopped.

Why? I don't know why.

So, these nights out with just us.

Yeah. They're my new mini vacations.

Thanks.

You know, come to think of it, I don't

think Mac and I have ever been on a

vacation. That's because you can't

afford one. You're a sl*t.

I'm a vampire.

Okay.

Okay.

Happy Halloween!

Little f*ck.

It was faster.

Fair enough.

I miss that whole entire being super

happy off of the Halloween.

What in God's name is that?

Oh, you know what? That was my uncle's.

Yeah.

Actually, it was here before we got

here. And I think probably all those

roosters you're hearing right now used

to live there and escaped.

Oh,

okay.

Yeah, I was going to go with sex page.

That looks like something Jenna Jameson

trained in before she hit it big and

found her stride. Who? Yeah, I'm pretty

sure a forensic team is going to be

showing up to collect samples at the

least vivid.

Okay, actually, that sounds awesome, and

I invite that possibility.

Well, then here's the crazy sh*t

happening.

Yes, sir. That's weird.

Cheers.

We don't have a stereo.

The f*ck was that?

That. In your face sh*t.

What's in your face sh*t?

Do you... Do you feel this?

It's like the rain.

Without the rain. What?

It's like the rain without the... Get

your face out here.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay, that is wild.

It was nice.

It's like Petricor's little brother.

Pop core Angelic it's like Ariel singing

a song It

is unusual It's beautiful, huh?

Let's go inside, okay?

Wow, oh my god, what?

f*ck What is it? There's like Rain drops

on my

face and on my tongue.

There's none on your car.

And there's no clouds.

Yeah, that is kind of wild.

In this installment, we hear the

Pentagon confirm yet more startling UFO

sightings.

We learn about a group of scientists who

are putting pressure on the government

to release all of their secrets on

flying objects.

That doesn't make any f*cking sense. No,

it really does. Just, okay.

Think about it. Okay.

I don't believe you.

Okay, well.

Right.

Flippers. And debunking.

Are you here? Because it does.

They touch. They sure do.

They touch. I know.

Wait,

this doesn't prove anything.

These are my pants.

Give me your pants.

Your pants. Okay.

This is nuts.

This is nuts.

I never have to try on pants again.

Never. This is crazy.

You're like a wizard.

It's been said.

Okay.

Okay.

I swear

to God, I don't even know

why I put the sign out.

This just speaks to the education

system.

What are you doing?

Trick or treat. Don't even finish that.

I really did, though.

Mm -mm.

Mm -mm.

You're like half an adult.

Why are you out here? Why can't I just

get some candy? Because there's an age

limit. That's ageist.

Not how that works. Not how that works

at all. Can I just get some candy, old

man? Old man? Wow. I'm talking to him,

actually.

Checked out. Okay. Okay. You know what

you should be doing? You should be at

home, listening to Hurt, crying about

somebody who stood you up tonight.

What the f*ck is Hurt? What the f*ck?

Okay, I'm going to have to show you a

lesson here. Please educate this one.

Maybe this little ditty is going to ring

a bell.

You let me violate you.

This is the first day of my life. I like

that one, too.

Next track.

The world is a vampire.

And you could have it all.

My empire.

Oh, that one by Johnny Cash, right?

Oh, God.

Okay. Leave.

Just go. Why don't you leave?

Because this is my house. That's why. My

house. Our house.

Together. Together.

Not your concern. You need to go away,

vampire.

Be gone. I'm sorry.

Interrupted your eyes wide shut moment.

Be gone, okay?

Make like a crow.

Just go.

Please.

Be gone.

Yeah.

Bad bye.

Find another home, Crusader.

Okay.

This is going to lead to m*rder, huh?

Okay, come on.

I spent so long on that.

I know. Who would do that?

Well, I mean, probably the teenager that

was out here earlier.

That would be my guess. I'm not a

detective, but, I mean, I would assume

what happened there. Probably. Okay.

Let's see. Right here.

What? You probably see it on your ring.

Doorbell. Oh, I don't pay for the

service.

What? Why do you have it?

Because I need a doorbell.

I mean, it makes sense. That checks out,

actually.

Okay, but seriously?

Yeah. You're not bringing any strays

home tonight.

Oh, but I make the best friends. You are

not Captain Save -A -h*.

All right, we need to be able to look

back hell years later and be like, that

sh*t was a f*cking epic.

Thank you.

I'll turn you back on. Bye.

Okay, you heard that, right? Yeah. Heard

it. Saw it. Felt it.

All right. Okay.

That's a young child screaming. Yep.

Yep.

You should probably go check that out.

We can check it out. Yeah.

Alright, the sound came from the shed.

Yeah, I think our little b*stard is

hiding in there.

Okay, take out your phone.

Okay, open it.

What? Open it.

You open it. You're close, sir.

By all means.

It's just a kid.

I got it.

What the f*ck was that?

That, my friend, was an alien.

Are you happy about this?

Yeah. Wait, no.

Yes?

Was that... Was it chewing on the

teenager?

Dude, we were looking at the same thing.

And that was an alien trash panda.

Was that really an alien?

Oh. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Uh, oh.

Oh.

Okay.

New plan.

Huh? Evidence.

Move. What? What? No.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no,

no. What are you doing? No, no, no, no,

no, no.

Okay.

Definitely an alien.

Oh, man.

No one's going to believe this.

Oh, God. Was it a teenager in there?

Dude. How are you... Ooh, seems

aggressive.

Oh,

what I think is that it's done with its

appetite.

Ooh, that appetizer has a name.

Oh, what is it?

Okay, you know what? We need weapons.

Hey!

Sorry, I thought you said go.

What? No. Okay, first, we need to

fortify this door.

Yeah.

So maybe if we grab... Okay.

This was a complete betrayal of our

friendship.

Complete betrayal!

We've really got to work on our

communication, okay?

That's fair.

Okay.

And now... We need g*ns.

Lots of g*ns.

Do you have g*ns?

No.

We don't have a g*n?

No.

That's a butter knife.

Yeah, well, I wasn't expecting an alien

rodent invasion, okay?

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Are you having a stroke?

Your book.

What about your book?

Didn't you write a book about this?

Amanda.

Come here.

I'm going to wake up.

I'm starting a new company. That's

what's happening.

I'm going to comb this little alien

creature's hair.

Just thought I'd comb a little f*ck

down.

Peanut butter.

Uh, rats like peanut butter. It looks

like a rat, so... It's like a... It's

a... Here, come here!

Feed. Oh. And then it's like an attack.

Okay. You just come at it aggressively.

You know, I got something here.

So, it says... Listen for a sound the

creature makes.

You try to imitate it. To communicate.

Alright.

It says... You wrote it.

Look, with eating a small child, I feel

like we're past communicating.

Amanda? Amanda, wake up! What?

Where are we?

What's going on?

Oh, sh*t.

Amanda. Are we okay?

Define okay.

Amanda, what's happening? Quiet.

What's going on? Shh.

They're out there.

Look.

Shh.

What are we going to do? I don't know.

Amanda, we need to be quiet.

We need to be very still. Do not move.

We need to get out of here.

Like, fast.

We're gonna die.

We can't die out here.

We can't die just like this.

Just calm down. Just calm down, okay?

Calm down. We're on a deserted road

surrounded by monster rats.

We have no cell service.

Oh, my God.

Is that Dean?

Yes. No.

No. Oh, my God.

We crashed our car on Empire Mine Road.

Because it's fast. Sure.

It's faster.

Race? Okay, just stop, all right?

We crashed our car on Empire Line Road,

and now we're surrounded by zombie cats.

She's seen them, too.

I know, I can hear it.

Okay, babe, I need you to stay put. We

are coming to get you.

Just don't move.

Oh, let me talk to Amanda.

Thank you.

That can't be good.

Babe, I'm going to have to call you

back.

Mac?

Mac?

It's f*cking useless.

We're going to f*cking die.

We're going to die.

We're going to die.

Okay, everything's fine. Everything's

fine. Everything's not fine.

Nope. Nope.

It's gone. It's gone?

We're going to be okay. I don't like

this.

We're going to f*cking die.

Okay, we're okay.

We just need to eat.

And calm down.

Hi.

What? What? What are you doing?

Where's mine?

Well, I, uh, you guys... Okay, I only

found four.

You only made one for yourself?

All right.

Uh,

where are you going?

Uh, we're a team.

The aliens are that way. The girls are

that way.

I can come in first.

Well, you should go in first, actually.

And then I'll come in behind you.

And then I'll do like... Are you kidding

me with this?

This entire time I've been in the

kitchen building a Lego set with peanut

and you've had an alien neutralizer on

you the whole time?

This is the odd chance.

Our time is now.

There's no going back.

One for all, and all for one.

We'll show them why we chose Disneyland

over Knott's Berry Farm.

What?

I don't know.

Should we have a name?

I thought it was obvious.

Yeah, it's... Okay.

Broaders of...

Alien.

Convergence.

Division. Division.

MacD,

m*therf*cker.

I was looking under the car. Okay.

It's

locked. Sorry.

How do you not know your own father?

Twice.

Okay.

There we go.

Heat it up. I know.

Nice jousting position. I like it.

Did you hear that?

I didn't hear sh*t. Let's go.

Help me!

I know you hear that.

Okay, but what if that's like some kind

of alien voice trick or

something? How do we even know that's

the teenager?

Hey, if you can hear me, I'm the

teenager from earlier.

This is how people die.

Saving others?

No.

Deviating. Our goal was the girl. The

first part to getting toward that goal

getting in the car.

We're in the car!

Okay, that's fair.

She needs our help.

Okay, you realize we're probably only

going to be saving half a teenager,

Come on. Let's go.

Let's make this quick, all right?

Me first? Yeah. Okay.

All right.

I think something was eating me.

Right. Well, you know, you should have

gone home.

Not the time.

You're going to be okay.

None of that is true.

Go, go,

go, go, go, go.

Up like a rabbit. Up like a rabbit.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I'm making it sound.

It's not making that sound. You're

making it horn.

Oh.

God damn.

It's a boy.

Bet you're hungry now, you little

f*ck.

Swing, Merrill!

Swing! Go, go, go, go!

Swing!

Get out of here!

Are you f*cking kidding me right now?

You just put the saver in.

This is the thing. The f*cking tip, man.

The f*cking thing. I told you.

You nearly got you in the... f*ck.

What is that thing?

Looked like something I bought my

f*cking niece for Christmas last year.

well, not all alien life form is carbon

-based, okay? Okay, I'm just saying,

it's like really rubbery.

Well, this kind of looks like we're

right back where we started.

Yeah, it does look like that, Mac.

It really does.

Huh.

Funny.

What do we do?

I think we just... Make it back to the

house.

Okay. That sounds okay.

Is it another one?

These stupid signs made it horny.

Okay. Hey.

What do you see?

I don't see it. Nothing.

God. Why?

Why?

Why? I don't have my phone. Okay. Do you

have yours?

Yeah.

I left it in the car.

f*ck. f*ck.

Okay, it's fine.

Is it?

Yeah, we're fine.

Yeah, are we? Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Okay, we just have to... What?

We just... Just have to...

We have to... What the... Oh,

no, no, no.

Oh, sh*t.

Never want to...

That's not them.

No?

Is that a good thing?

Is that a question?

I don't know. Tonight is f*cking weird.

That could be a good Samaritan.

He just ran a car and he's just walking

over to help us.

Yes.

Or he could have created a possum

kingdom of aliens and released them into

world. And now he's here to collect his

offspring and he's going to viciously

m*rder any of the witnesses.

That's the other option.

No, I didn't mean to cause you a fright.

I just, uh, I noticed some smoke coming

from your car and, uh, wondered if,

uh, you ladies needed any help.

Um, yes. Hello, good sir.

Sir? Oh, the name is, uh, the name is

Sam.

You know, you're all on a dangerous road

here.

Hello, Sam.

Yes, I'm aware of the road.

Are you ladies all right? No, there's

creepy critters running all

around out there.

What's that?

You've heard of m*rder hornets, right?

m*rder hornets?

Yeah. Okay, think m*rder hornets, but

they look like baboon rats.

Baboon rats?

I don't quite follow.

Can you roll the window down a little

bit? Not a good idea, Sam. You need to

back in your car.

You want me to leave?

Yes. Don't leave.

You want me to get back in my van?

No. Yes.

Are you all on drugs?

What? No, I... Okay.

I could see how it might seem like that,

but no.

Mm -hmm.

Do you really not see anything?

Okay. We'll roll the window down.

What? It's fine.

Hmm.

Sam, if you try any weird sh*t, we'll

f*ck your a*s.

Up. We will f*ck your a*s up. Okay? We

don't have time for creepy raper K*llers

tonight. Okay? This night's already a

f*cking mess.

Raper K*llers?

Look, I was just trying to give you

ladies a hand.

Hmm. I think I'll leave if you all want

me to.

Sam, we need to get out of here fast.

Can you help us with that?

I knew it.

g*dd*mn creepy m*therf*cker.

Hey, buddy.

I'm going to need you to get up here.

Hello?

Get up in that space, little Jimmy.

Hello?

That'll get you up.

That'll get you up, huh?

Oh, sh*t.

Two of us need a partner here. Come on,

man.

You wake up.

I'm going to play a little game called

Wake the f*ck Up.

Sorry. Sorry.

I got away from you. I apologize. I just

need you to wake up.

Please, just...

For the love of God, will you please

just wake the f*ck up?

Oh, f*ck. Okay.

Okay, actually, you stay here.

I need you to stay in here. f*ck.

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck. Why

am I lying? Why me?

Joe McLean.

party. Let's have a little fun.

Bring a little aliens.

f*ck my life.

Okay, you're going to run to the truck,

start it up, and you're going to drive

back to me. Yes.

Okay, why don't we leave at the same

time?

You can be lookout.

What, so I can see when you're going to

die?

Are you ready?

How do you know where Keith is?

They're probably on him.

I'm ready.

Are you okay? Yeah.

He's staring at me. Is he alive?

No.

Okay, we just need the keys.

The f*ck? How is that possible?

Skylar, quit f*cking with him.

He's f*cking with me.

Let me know when it's clear.

Okay.

Okay, I think it's all clear.

It's all clear.

Shut the f*ck up. You're going to get

f*cking k*lled.

Whose fault is that? What the f*ck are

you doing?

Human sealed.

Are you serious?

Are you watching?

You're being ridiculous.

I can't smell what they already k*lled.

How can... It's only a f*cking thing.

f*ck you.

f*ck you. You. f*ck you. f*ck you.

You. f*ck you. f*ck you. You. f*ck you.

You.

f*ck you.

f*ck you. f*ck you.

Oh, that's cool.

Yeah, just an open window with a

bloodthirsty base rodent running around

the property.

Awesome.

Good morning, sunshine.

What's that behind you?

Locking the door?

Why are you wet?

Because you Jean -Claude Van Damme my

a*s into the bathroom.

For your safety, okay?

How about those water sensors, though?

Did they work out?

Yeah,

they were actually pretty good.

Can you believe Skyler didn't want those

in there? They make no g*dd*mn sense

right now.

I don't know how an alien would justify

that.

Well, I did.

Abby. What's going on? Shut up. You're

going to draw attention.

Where are you taking me? Let go of me,

crazy friend. Just be quiet.

Be quiet.

You f*cking cut me.

You f*cking cut me.

Just be quiet. You're dead.

Just be quiet. You're f*cking dead.

Be quiet.

Newman Shields.

I got the keys. Let's go.

Wait a minute, girls!

It's my truck, you f*cking bananas!

What?

Hey, kangaroo f*ck!

You're gonna die.

They're trapping this thing. We are?

Yeah, yeah. Thanks. Yeah, why are we

holding the door?

I don't know. I was just following your

lead.

It's in there. It's in there pretty

good. So we can move away.

All right.

We got to get your phone.

Do you know where it is?

In front of the shed.

Yes.

MACD.

MACD, m*therf*cker!

I would be Willard in this situation.

He would be Ben. Your Ben.

We just need you.

God damn it. Stop with the fighting. Bad

rat.

Bad rat.

I know what you like.

Is this what you want?

Are you kidding me? You did that on

purpose.

That was an accident.

No, that was my best performance, and

you

ruined it.

That was an atrocity, okay? And it only

figures that a space demon could destroy

it.

Okay, this truth comes out.

You're jealous of my night moves.

What are you doing?

Why are you moving like that?

Stop it.

Stop that.

Please.

Now.

No.

Okay.

That's... That's a breathing mechanism.

Dude, dude, dude, dude, stop that!

Oh,

f*ck. Oh.

Sorry.

Oh, my God.

Are you okay? Yes, yes, yes. Here. Are

you okay? Yeah.

Where did you get this?

From a dead kid in your car down the

street. We were driving by and we

to call to see if it was safe.

Well, it is now. I mean, how did you do

that?

Um, like this. Oh, my God. Babe, what

happened?

I got bit.

Wait, what about you?

I'm not as good of a wrestler as I

thought I was.

But let's get you cleaned up, okay?

Yeah. Okay.

I'm okay, too. I mean, I got attacked by

aliens.

You have no idea how good it feels to be

back.

Yeah, it was a f*cking nightmare out

there.

I'm just glad you're both back safe.

You got your car swum by a teenager?

I mean, it's more complicated than that,

but yes.

Okay, no, it is not complicated.

He deviated. Okay, she was screaming for

her life?

How many are there?

Teenagers? Creatures, idiot.

I think we're splitting hairs here.

What the f*ck are these things?

I don't know.

I don't know. I know that they, like,

water like candy and f*cking flashlights

apparently k*ll them.

Okay, wait, but the flashlights on her

phone didn't do anything.

All right, so it's the type of light. I

don't know sh*t about light, but there's

something with that. Yeah? Wait, um,

those are black lights.

That's it.

Ultraviolet radiation.

What the sun produces that bounces

around the atmosphere, daylight.

I wish we had more of those.

We do, actually.

You remember the blacklight Christmas

party.

No.

What the f*ck was that?

I don't see it. Oh, sh*t.

There.

It's right here. Look.

There it is.

That's so f*cking funny.

All of it.

All of it's funny.

Just when we think we got a handle on

it.

Boom.

No handle.

We lose grip.

I mean, I don't know if you guys are

seeing this, but we're f*cked, okay?

You're f*cked.

You're f*cked.

You might be f*cked. Okay. Still on the

fence with, I need you to calm down.

Because there's only one thing we can

do.

What is that?

Mac D, this b*tch.

Hell yeah.

Mac D?

Yeah.

It's our group name. Yeah. We have a

group. We created a group while you guys

were gone. Pretty cool.

So you should join. Yeah. Actually, I

don't know why you... No initiation.

You're already here.

How'd you land on that?

Pretty simple.

Yeah. Yeah. Hit it with the name. Okay.

Yep. Here it comes. Ready?

Waiting.

Marauders of Alien Convergence.

Dicks. Division.

Division. Not dicks. Division.

Okay.

McBee.

Selling it. Why don't we call ourselves

Security K*llers for

you.

Alliance. Like that. Gaia. Gaia, b*tch.

You don't have time for this.

This is the stupidest name.

I think it's ever heard.

So dumb. So dumb. Say it again for me.

It's really bad. It's great. You know

what it's like? It's like they're trying

to take their names and like just force

them into an acronym.

I'm going to make the biggest sandwich

that makes no sense.

Same thing that you guys did.

It's bad.

I think that's its way of knocking.

Okay. Let's do what we all do bad.

f*ck sh*t up. We f*ck sh*t up. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Come on. Bring it in.

No. Pilot on top. No, thanks. Pilot on

top.

No, thank you. Okay.

Go with your energy.

What are we looking at here? Excuse me.

Jesus. Where is me?

What's wrong? What's with all the

pillows?

Block arteries, you know, for biting,

scratches.

Go ahead.

Take a tear.

Nothing. Nothing. That's actually pretty

smart. Right?

Yeah, babe, I'm impressed.

You are?

Yeah. Thank you.

Okay, I'm so glad you said that.

I've got a brilliant idea, okay? What is

it?

I'm glad you asked.

All right, so how do we do this pillow

thing?

I kind of used up all the pillows.

Seriously? And the duct tape.

What about us?

You are a selfish man.

Can

you

see that?

He sees something.

Holy sh*t.

Is that the dead teenager that we saw

when we were driving up?

Hey, look what I found.

That is her.

That son of a b*tch.

Hey. No, no, no, no, no. You don't get

to say hi to me.

You stole my car, you little monster.

Actually, I think I crashed your car.

How do you not know if you crashed the

car?

You either did or you didn't crash the

car.

This kid doesn't die.

Hey.

Get up, buddy. It's going.

Dean, where's Mac?

What?

No, no, no, no. Where is Mac?

I don't know. He was right behind me.

What? We need to calm down, like all of

us. What do you mean, calm down? Mac's

f*cking missing. I understand.

Doesn't seem like it.

Dean, give me your flashlight.

I don't have it.

What do you mean? It got knocked out of

my hands.

Wait, what time is it?

It's almost 5 .30. Why?

Sunrise, daylight, UV.

Yeah, the cage outside the m*rder cage.

Yes. I'm missing some verbal

communication, you guys.

Cage, sun, monster.

Trap the m*therf*cker in the cage.

Just in time for sunlight. Okay? Okay.

Oh, sh*t. These hits are getting way

worse.

Okay. We have to move now.

Wait.

Max is still out there. You left him

with a creature?

Is he dead?

Oh, God. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Marauders never say die, okay?

What?

We can't give up pursuing our dreams.

Never say die. In here, our time is now.

In here.

Okay? And that all goes away the moment

we ride Troy's bucket. What the f*ck are

you talking about? It's the Goonies.

He's doing the Goonies. Yeah.

We don't know anything, so we cannot

assume the worst.

Come here.

Look at me.

We need you right now. All right?

There's a freakishly huge hairy space

c*ck outside that wants us as a meal.

We need to trap that m*therf*cker and

watch it burn.

Then we can look for Mac.

Okay? Mac, he's a really smart guy,

okay?

He can handle himself and... I'll let

you in on a little secret.

When we have our sleepovers at night, I

read to him from my book that I wrote,

so he's very well versed... Babe, what

the f*ck?

Okay. I want to do this.

Do what?

Lure the space rat into the cage.

I want to do it.

Are you sure?

No, it's okay.

I'll do it. No, it's fine.

I want to do this.

Okay. Go.

Hi. Hi. You're alive. Yeah. Yeah.

I've got to do this.

I'm going to do this. No, let me go.

We own it. Oh.

Oh, we like this.

Bring it with me.

Bring it with me. Bring it with me.

Bring it with me.

Bring it with me.

You're so smart with the music.

Here's the pillow, man. I'm putting that

in my pillow. For sure.

Bring it in.

I'm fine. Let's just, let's go inside.

Okay.

Let's go.

Everyone,

everyone, let's go. I saw a monster

block.

We did it. We did. Guys.

Nobody, where's our, okay.

Well,

I'm just saying like.

Yeah.

Hmm. I've been thinking.

If you really want to get out of here,

we can.

If you want.

I want.

Well, good.

Because I'm coming in some money soon.

Oh, yeah?

Mm -hmm.

Me and Mac are starting a business.

Cool.

Well.

How you feeling?

Good.

Yeah, like, really good.

A little hungry, strangely.

How are you feeling?

I feel... great.

Hey, earlier today... About that, um...

Yeah.

It was weird, right?

I felt it too.

The sun?

Yeah.

How's your wound?

Healed. Whoa.

Completely.

Yours?

Hey, what is it?

Um, it's healed.

Okay, what is it?

Dean.

Have you seen the movie Junior?

Hey, you two are still here.

What the f*ck?

Think I'm pregnant?

Oh God.

I don't think we're alone out there.

I don't think we're alone in here

either.

He wrote a book that nobody wanted him

to smash. Out of work for

six months running. The two thought a

group of camaraders of alien

conversion. Not alone out there.

Not alone in here. Zombie cat. They're a

retro and a kind of situation.

Slumming cats, they're a rash, trash,

and a kind of situation.