02x04 - Mind Ya Business, b*tch!

[bunniefuu]

["Friend In Me" by
Dom Jones playing]

Damn, b*tch! Does anything
fit up in here, or what?

I'm gonna find one for you, boo, but
what made you look for your dress

two months before your wedding?

Oh!

Okay, it sucks that I don't have space for
your fitting... or your bridal tantrum.

You deserve that, and it also sucks that
the bridal industry is hella sizephobic,

transphobic, and way overpriced!

Why is it so expensive?!

Oh my God. You know what? But at
least q*eer marriage is legal.

For now.

And, uh... don't worry. We're gonna
find you the most perfect dress, okay?

You also promised
real champagne, girl,

but instead, we got
this sparkling bullshit.

I'd ask for second opinions, but
we don't have enough room for that.

We may not have room
for a second opinion,

but we also don't have room
for a second bridezilla.

[all gasp]

[Mavis] Oh!

Oh my God!

- Wow! Peppermint!
- I see the vision! Oh my God!

- [Mavis] Yes!
- Perfect.

Oh sh*t.

Ooh. When is she supposed to say
yes to the rest of the dress?

[funky beat playing]

♪ Okay One time for the
big girls in the crowd ♪

♪ Hey, hear me now ♪

♪ Go on, sis, yeah Show
'em how to work it out ♪

[scoffs] Hurry up before you
let all the cold air out.

- Good to see you too, Ma.
- Mm-hmm.

What'd you bring me?

- Pff!
- It's from my garden.

Well, this is nice, baby.

I wish it was a bag of
those Hawaiian rolls, but...

Do you even drink water?

I told you Code Red has
plenty of water in it.

- [Khalil] What's this?
- It's not a big deal.

I just... owe a little
money in back taxes.

Okay, and when you say a little
money, how much are we talkin'?

- $20,000.
- Oh my God, Ma!

What?

I stopped paying my taxes
back during the Obama years.

- Didn't we all?
- We did not!

Ah! My bad.

So I gotta figure out how to
come up with some money fast.

You know, Mom's being
irresponsible as f*ck,

and I know I ain't gonna
be good till she good.

Damn, man.

Well, if you wanna make some real money,
I can introduce you to my friend Simone.

Simone, who's that again?

That's one of your friends that's
in that bougie Black-lady cabal?

Yes, she's an art
dealer. She's my soror,

and she's good people and she can help
you get out that sneakers and murals game

into a real bag.

I might be down bad enough
to actually need that.

You guys, I saw this space in
Dumbo when I was doing returns,

and it was, like, calling me.

Okay, I was thinking about Pep and
her wedding dress and all my clients,

and this spot is on a really cute Black
and bougie street with other creatives.

And I feel like I could turn it
into some sort of styling boutique.

Ooh. Okay. I see
the wheels spinnin'.

You see it? Okay.

Okay, Miss Ideas. Get it, girl.

Miss Ideas, if you're nasty.

But honestly, like, since I
styled Anderson .Paak at Afropunk,

I've had to turn down jobs.

That's wild 'cause your girl
needs all the jobs she can get,

and Peppermint's wedding
is taking over my apartment

like a monster from Stranger
Things. I'm like, "What?!"

I am thinking that I could
maybe get a small business loan.

What is collateral by the way?

Besides a movie you can
only watch on a plane.

Even my anti-capitalist a*s
knows what collateral is.

I'mma help you figure
this out, Mave.

- Really?
- [Marley] Yes.

Oh my God. That
would be amazing.

I am excited. I got bubble guts.

It's probably the breakfast
burrito from this morning.

Don't get extra banana peppers
when you 'bout to go on a run.

That is rule number two.
Nobody ever tells you.

Number two! [laughs] Get it?

No, actually, it's the breakfast burrito.
I'll be right back. I need the bathroom.

[pensive music playing]

I think you're going to absolutely
enjoy what you just bought.

Like this new artist. I
mean, up and coming. Amazing.

Just one second. Thanks.

So what do you
think of this piece?

It's safe. Pedestrian.

A... lazy derivative of
Duchamp's ready-made collection.

This just a mop
bucket, isn't it?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- You must be...
- Simone.

Simone, yeah.

Derivative of Duchamp? Huh?

I thought it was a pretty
reasonable assumption.

[chuckles] Coffee?

[Khalil] Please. After you.

[mellow music playing]

Look, I really like your work,

and if we do this, I'll be showing
it to high-net-worth individuals,

so we can get you a
nice little payday.

I'm glad you like my stuff.

So tell me more about you.

What's your family like?

Raised by a single mom,
uh... who was wild as hell.

I mean, Adrienne
is wild as hell.

She used to pick me up from school early
to take me to tapings for 106 & Park.

- [Simone gasps].
- Yeah.

And my pops, I mean, he been in
prison as long as I can remember.

- [Simone] Hmm.
- What was that?

Oh, no, okay. I see
what you tryin' to do.

- What? Get to know you better?
- Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

You tryin' to pump me for
information. You doin' some diggin'

to see how you gonna market me.

- Mm.
- Uh, this next piece is by the...

the... the... the...
prison-dad painter.

- Uh-huh.
- Tell me I'm wrong.

- You're wrong.
- Okay.

When people buy your work, what
they're really buying is your story,

and it's only natural for people to
talk about the history of an artist.

But, okay, I just don't feel right
sellin' what I've been through,

and, respectfully...

- Uh-huh.
- ...I just think art should sell art.

I want the artists I work
with to make a real living.

Do you wanna sell
prints at Target,

or do you wanna be an artist who people
are dying to be part of their collection?

That requires openness
about your life.

Call me when you figure
out if you can do that.

[mellow, pensive music playing]

Thank you.

- [Marley] Okay.
- [music fades]

- Uh, wow. Wow!
- Yeah.

- [Mavis] Look at all this space.
- [Marley] This is really somethin'.

- Right?
- It is.

Right? Oh my God! So
you feel it too. Uh!

You know, um, the guy told me that
I could get a short-term lease here,

so I was thinking about
turning it into a pop-up.

You know, people love pop-ups.

They're fun. They're exclusive.
It's a limited release.

Mm. I don't know.

Okay. I know this is not a
place where you would shop,

but places like this need to
exist for women like me, okay?

We can't go to Soho
to some boutique

where they just go up to
size "f*ck you, fatty."

- Okay, I get it.
- Okay.

But, sis, I'm gonna have to
give you a reality check.

It stinks in here, and
I know you smell it.

- No, I don't.
- And second,

we're on the garden level,
which means zero foot traffic.

- Why you got your hand raised?
- I'm waiting for my turn.

Go.

- My clientele will seek us out.
- Mm.

- Okay?
- Mm-hmm.

Peppermint needs a
wedding gown, okay,

and there are hardly any spaces where,
um, fatty baddies and trans women

with different proportions

have a safe, comfortable place
to have a bridal experience.

And so, I was thinking the
first pop-up event could be

"Oddie Body Bridal Trunk Show."

I... I get it.

- I get exactly what you're trying to do.
- Cool.

And you're gonna need a
lotta help, but I'm...

- Yes.
- I'm into it.

- [gasps] Amazing.
- Okay.

This is so amazing 'cause your
opinion matters so much to me,

and I really need help
filling out a business loan.

- I don't know how to do that.
- b*tch, I'm your business loan.

Remember I told you I wanted to invest
in Black-women-owned businesses?

I got you.

- Oh my God, Marley.
- Oh God.

[Mavis] That means so much.

Oh my God. Look out, Oprah and
Gayle and a side of Ozempic.

We are gonna do it.

Yes, but, b*tch, not in a place
that feels like it was haunted

by a nun that performed an ab*rtion
at the turn of the century.

Well, that's just
New York charm.

Uh-uh, nope, nope, nope. I am
not gonna do that to my girl.

Forget that.

Hi. Hey, Ted.

Yes, I need a commercial
broker immediately.

I'm looking for a
really nice space

that doesn't look like
the boat from Amistad.

Well, watch the damn movie.

[upbeat music playing]

Marley failed to mention that her
friend Simone is fine as f*ck.

I mean, do you know how confusing it is
to hear a bunch of sh*t you don't like

out of a mouth you do like?

Okay, so she didn't say
anything valid, like, at all?

I mean, yeah, I mean,
some of it, sure.

I just don't know if I
wanna get money with her...

- Oh.
- ...or get in bed with her.

- Oh.
- Or neither.

Okay.

- Or both.
- Wow!

Yeah, but also how else am I supposed
to get this kinda money for my moms?

Ugh, Khalil! I don't know.

- Money makes sh*t complicated.
- It does.

Like this stuff with Marley?

I know that this is the
location. I know it in my bones.

- Mm-hmm.
- But whoever pays has a say.

Nah, nah, nah, nah. She
needs to know that, like,

in this business, you got
just as much say as she does.

- I'm sorry. Have you met Marley?
- I have.

- Okay then.
- Yeah.

Okay, okay. Up. Come
on, Mave, come on.

- Okay.
- All right.

- Now, we're gonna do a little exercise.
- Oh!

- All right?
- I just ate.

- Exercise?
- Mental.

- Okay, mental exercise.
- Yes. I got you.

- I'm gonna be Marley.
- Okay.

- But you just stay Mavis.
- Thank God.

I'll be Marley, and we gonna
practice, so when you see Marley,

get it off your chest.
Tell her how you feel.

- Oh!
- Okay?

- Okay, yeah.
- Yeah.

- I'm gonna woman up.
- Yeah, let me...

You know, for Pep, oddie bodies,
my bridal, my idea, my vision.

[overzealously] Uh, Marley is in
the motherfuckin' building, b*tch!

Okay? And all I care about

is doing motherfuckin' business,
cussin' people the hell out,

and getting in my
motherfuckin' bag.

You hear me? "Periodt,"
with a motherfuckin' T.

- Marley?
- Yes, b*tch.

I know you don't like
the spot in Dumbo.

Well then, why you askin'
all these questions

that you don't like
the answers to, sissy?

Uh... Uh... Time is
money, b*tch. Can we...

Marley, I value your opinion.

Oh, do you value my opinion?

Come on, baby.

'Cause it feels like you're about
to disrespect Marley's opinion.

- Ain't nobody...
- Can somebody... What?

Ain't nobody disrespecting
your opinion.

What I'm really just trying
to do is let you know...

What? What are you trying
to do? Make me angry?

[glass shatters]

Khalil!

Knock, knock. Who's there?
It's my rich friend.

Come in.

This is so nice! I keep
forgetting how nice it is.

Wow.

So, I actually have been
thinking about the Dumbo space,

and I, uh, hired an interior
designer to draw my vision.

Oh, uh... Marley, just... can
I show you something here?

- I think you're really gonna like this.
- I don't pay you to think, Ted.

Okay, sorry.

Now what were you saying about
some drawings or something?

Um...

I really think Dumbo has some good bones.
Okay? And we just need to get creative.

We can use a conveyor on
the wall as some racks,

and I really wanna
create a community vibe,

and so I'm thinking really
fun colors, bright colors.

We can mix them, match
them, layer them, textiles.

Um, I could even get some
stools and reupholster them

with fabric already I have.

And then, also, you'll see
here from the renderings,

there's a really beautiful
space for fitting rooms.

You know, ample room for
your big-booty friends

and a really safe space for our clientele
because that's really important.

Look at you, comin' in here and
slammin' your big titty on the table.

But that's the kind
of initiative we need.

And I'm gonna follow your
lead that we do this in Dumbo.

Oh, amazing. I love
that so much. Thank you.

And you know what? These
drawings were $400.

Can I just get paid back,
reimbursed with petty cash?

Or is that what
collateral's for?

["Take It Off" playing]

♪ Take it off, take
it off, take it off ♪

♪ Buy them drawers, but take it
off Take it off, take it off... ♪

[Marley] Ooh!

Sheesh, it's hot.

Oof!

Goodness gracious.

Nala, why is it hotter in here
than Paula Deen's place in hell?

Who's Paula Deen?

Oh, um, that was probably
before you were born.

It's just racism and butter.

It's hot because ConEd
isn't getting back to me.

I filled out the form online three
times. I even did virtual assistant.

Really? Well, have you tried
picking up the phone and calling?

I'm sorry, talking on the phone is
a personal boundary of mine, so...

Oh.

Okay, so it's, uh...
it's hot as f*ck, right?

We have no lights, we
have no electricity,

and we have a whole
weekend of work we can't do

because Hannah Montana
scared of the phone.

That's not an insult 'cause she's
a complicated female character

with a job and a
secret. [snickers]

- Hey, Nala.
- [Nala] Mm?

For your health, I would just
go take a walk right now.

Oh. I...

Okay.

You can go. Thank you so much.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

- Hey, Marley.
- [Marley clears her throat]

I know she didn't
call ConEd, okay?

[Nala] Hummm-ah. [twirls lips]

Maybe that job was too big to give
her. You know, she's really good

at a lot of other things,

and the Oddie Body Bridal Pop-up is
at capacity with RSVPs because of her.

[Nala] Hmm-ah. [twirls lips]

Girl, if you don't get your
a*s up and do your job...

What did I miss? Is the
event over? How did it go?

No, no, no. It's been 15 seconds, and
I'm so sorry we interrupted you, okay?

Okay. You know what?
Stop. Stop it, stop it.

We have a bunch of brides
coming here in just a few days.

We are nowhere near ready.

What part of that don't
you understand, Nala?

And to be honest, I didn't want your
chaotic a*s here in the first place.

Marley, you are going way
too rough on her right now.

Now, you're the one that
asked me for my advice, right?

And to be honest, Mavis,

nobody was gonna give you a damn loan
with your two-digit credit score.

Wow. Okay.

Well, you're the one that told
me that you believed in me.

You also said you wanted
to help Black creatives.

So let us create.

As a child of divorce, this is
actually really triggering for me.

I'm... I'm triggered! I'm out.

What? What do you
mean, you're out?

Out! That's what
it mean. I'm out!

Are you mad at me? I'm so sorry.
Don't be mad at me. Are you mad?

- I'm mad, but I'm not mad at you, okay?
- Okay.

Nala, we gotta be like Denzel
Washington in every movie.

We gotta land that
plane coked out, okay?

We gotta bring the
train back on the tracks

and go have dinner
with Rosario Dawson.

Choo choo.

We need to find a liver or somethin'
for our son or some kinda organ.

I don't remember John Q.
like that. Not the point.

We're gonna get this done, okay?
You're gonna stay here and set up.

Okay.

I'm gonna get the lights on,
and then it's gonna be on!

["Caged Bird" playing]

[keys jangling]

Yo.

You need to talk to your girl.

For real.

I mean, I'm sick of this sh*t.

- [groans]
- How did you get in here?

You think I don't know people?

- This my house.
- And what the f*ck you got on?

You can't afford no shirt?
You can't afford sleeves?

What's happenin'?
Put something on.

I don't wanna look at
your nappy-a*s chest.

Pretty sure this is my house. Okay. I
don't know how I got dragged into this

because Mavis already sent
me a ten-minute voice memo,

so... speak your piece.

Yo, she will not take
any of my advice, bro.

Like, seriously, and
this is what I do.

What, you gonna teach Serena how to
serve? Teach Mary J. Blige how to dance?

Okay, Marley, you hopped
on the idea with her.

And you gotta stop coming at her with
that corporate-drill-sergeant sh*t.

Look, in the army, if your
boot's dirty, you get yelled at.

But what's that got to do
with the actual battle?

Follow orders and listen
to your commander.

Okay, but are you a commander,
or are you a partner?

I mean, she don't work for you.

- Y'all working together.
- Shut the f*ck up, n*gga.

I heard you, and I understood
your Black a*s the first time.

Trying to talk to
me about some sh*t.

And you know what? Maybe your
a*s need to worry less about me

and worry about your
little broke a*s

and let Simone sell
your g*dd*mn paintings.

And you need to change the
g*dd*mn locks in this m*therf*cker

'cause it's too easy to get
into this little pencil box

that you call an
apartment. You hear me?

sh*t, you ain't
wearing sleeves either.

Talk about I ain't got sleeves,
but you ain't got no sleeves.

♪ This is for the homeys
And the lonely at the bar ♪

♪ The fishes and the misses
fetchin' givin' with the sauce ♪

♪ The princess
Cinderella dreamin'... ♪

Hi. Thank you for meeting
me so last minute.

This will only take a minute.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Yes.

I just wanna let you know, okay, that
I have an extremely low sperm count.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Like, only one
comes out at a time.

- Um, this is about the power.
- Oh no! Yeah, absolutely.

See, see, I'm one who thinks
that the power's all yours.

- Uh...
- I'm bad with money and time.

And I cannot figure out how to hold
a baby no matter how hard I try.

Is that right?

Yeah, my sister, she constantly tells
me that I have to... support the neck?

Yeah.

I'm thinkin' I'm doing that. Like,
how much more support can you need?

Lamar, I think I understand
what's happening here.

- I'm not pregnant.
- Really?

Yes. I need the power turned
on at my pop-up store.

- [sighs]
- Okay? I'm a boutique owner.

And I literally just need
the electricity turned on.

- Nice.
- Can you do that for me please?

Can you turn on the power?

This is so much more easier
than holding a baby neck,

so I... I really
appreciate this.

And, yes, I will cut you on.

- Thank you. I appreciate it.
- Yeah.

And I'm sure that baby
appreciates it too.

- Right?
- You just said there was no baby.

There is no baby!
Your sister's baby!

- Oh yeah! Right.
- f*ck, Lamar! Keep up!

[Mavis] This one's beautiful.

It's really about the
detailing if anybody asks.

It has the same
stones, and it...

Huh.

- You hear somethin', Nala?
- [Nala] Mm-mm.

I get it, I get it, I get it.

The big bad wolf is
in the building. Wow.

[sighs] Y'all feng shuied
the f*ck outta this trash,

and I do mean that...
in a nice way.

- Aw.
- We are angry, Nala.

- [Nala groans]
- [Marley] Will you stop?

I came here to say I'm sorry.

We're partners.

And I know I didn't
treat you like a partner.

Although I did let you pick the space
and the design and the assistant.

- This is an apology, right?
- I'm just sayin'...

But you just gotta give me a
minute to recalibrate, Mavis.

I "Tedded" you.

Is that his last name? That is
a very unfortunate last name.

Ted Tedded?

Mavis, can I just tell you that every
white dude I've ever worked with

is a Ted.

My entire life, I have had
to push my weight around.

That's how I got
to where I am now.

And honestly, that's how
I'm gonna stay where I am.

But we're friends.

I really wanted to
be a part of this.

So I am sorry

I "Tedded" you.

Thank you

for saying sorry
about Tedding-ding me.

[poignant music playing]

I'm sorry too.

I'm gonna need you to help me.

We have to do this
together. We are sisters.

Imagine what we can accomplish if we
both put our t*tties on the table.

- Oh, t*tties!
- Not now, Nala.

- I love you.
- I love you too, Mave.

[Nala] Love y'all.

Oh, you think because... Think that I
can... act like I don't belong here.

b*tch, I'll show you
who belongs here.

'Cause I'm a badass boss business
b*tch, and I got this sh*t, okay?

And get the f*ck
out of here, Ted.

- Khalil?
- What you... Hey.

Oh, hey. Hey. What's up? I
was just enjoying your office.

- Yeah, I like the decor.
- Thank you.

Um...

Look, I... I thought about it,

and... I would love
for you to sell my art.

Good. I'm glad you're ready
to let people see who you are.

- I know they're gonna be into it.
- And I'm into you.

- What?
- I'm... I'm into you being into it.

Into the art.

- Oh. Of course.
- Yeah. Exactly.

♪ On another level,
I'm feelin' myself ♪

♪ Had to take a minute... ♪

Mave, I tell you, this
place, it's special.

- It's so dope.
- Thank you.

[Marley] Just look
at this place.

- Oh my God!
- [Khalil] Oh snap.

It's beautiful!

Thank you. You guys taking time off
from, uh... [softly] ...coochie time?

Yes, and we are
getting Barried. Ah!

Hopefully, you'll be my
maid of honor. [screams]

Oh, no, thank you. I don't wanna
do that, but congratulations.

Thank you so much.

I think it's time.

- Oh, okay.
- [Mavis] Hi, everyone.

Um, I just wanna thank
you all so very much

for coming to a
place that is, um...

literally a lifelong
dream come true, um...

especially, you know, for me

and for anyone else who has
cried in a dressing room

because we have felt like the
fashion industry has forgotten us.

Aw, you guys. Thank you. Give
it up for Miss Mavis. Okay?

Thank you so much for coming
and supporting my sister friend.

Tonight is one of many
inclusive-themed events,

and we need you to tell a friend
that's gonna tell another friend...

- Yes!
- ...to bring their asses here.

- All right.
- And don't be sweaty when they come, okay?

With dirty-a*s hands,
touchin' the garments.

I'm sayin', and bring a
good-a*s credit card that works.

- Yeah, Marley.
- I ju... Okay.

And just please spread the word.

And, um, without further ado,

I would love to introduce the
woman that inspired this event.

Just like all of you, she deserves to
feel beautiful and special on her big day.

- So, Peppermint, let's see the dress.
- Yes!

[all gasping]

- [attendee 1] God!
- [attendee 2] Yes!

[attendee 3] Yes!

Is it a slay or a nay?

- [Marley] Yes!
- [Mavis] It's a slay.

- Of course! Yes!
- [attendee 4] Amazing.

I think this is the one.

[Marley] Oh yeah!

Them b*tches at CC's, they
gonna die when they see this!

Girl, you look so good!

- [Mavis] Yes.
- I see you, Pep.

[cheering]

[voice breaking] I'm
definitely one of those people

who... has cried in a
dressing room before,

so thank you, Mavis.

You're welcome,
Peppermint. I love you.

- I love you so much.
- [Marley] Aw.

- Cheers to Peppermint!
- [all] Cheers!

And to Mavis Beaumont, baby!

- Yes!
- Cheers!

- [attendee 5] ...dress!
- [attendee 6] All right, Mavis!

["It's Been A Week" playing]

♪ Hand me that Robitussin ♪

♪ Think I need
somethin' for the pain ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Hurt myself out here lovin' ♪

♪ Should've padded
up to be safe ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ I could think of reasons... ♪

Oh my God, b*tch. Are you trying
to give me a heart attack?

[Marley] I'm so sorry.

I left my phone, so I
came back here to get it.

♪ How the hell you'd
dare to think... ♪

You look absolutely beautiful.

♪ Is somethin'
I'd be down with ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ It's been a week ♪

♪ Since you last called me ♪

♪ I'm in the deep ♪

♪ Fire and bleach, lonely ♪

♪ Left by the bathroom floor ♪

♪ Trying to mend my soul ♪

♪ It's been a week ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Since you last ♪

♪ Run, run, run away from me ♪

♪ Run, run like
you're an athlete ♪

♪ Run, run till
you're done and weak ♪

♪ Pay no attention to me ♪

♪ Don't you feel
a type of way? ♪

♪ Drownin' me in your mistakes ♪

♪ Leave me stranded all alone ♪

♪ ♪♪♪♪ you and your ego ♪

♪ No, no, no, no ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Preachin' about your lovin' ♪

♪ Boy, you never
had what it takes ♪

♪ You're up, you're down ♪

♪ You lost the plot ♪

♪ You don't even
know what you want ♪

♪ Don't bother coming back ♪

♪ After what you
did, I won't... ♪