07x03 - Fine Art Flop

[bunniefuu]

[Gloria] Places!

[laughing]

[Rob] Welcome friends,
art-lovers, beauty seekers.

This is A Touch of
Gloss with Moss.

That's me, I'm Rob Moss.

Well, hello there, little one.

On today's segment,

artists will immerse
themselves in the wild

to capture animal subjects
in their most natural state.

♪

[humming]

[groaning]

[Melman] Huh?

[Marty] I should've picked a
pose that required less refills.

[gargling]

[scream]

[Gloria] Pickles,
Dave! Come join us!

[Melman] We're posing so
the painters can paint us.

[Pickles] We don't have
time to stand still.

We're making art of our own.

[scream]

♪

[gasp]

♪

[Rob] What a playful
little plant.

Might I suggest a splash
of yellow to lighten it up?

[Carlos] Oh, yes, of course!

Stay calm, Carlos. It's
just your artistic hero

and television
personality, Rob Moss.

Huh?

[squeaking]

[gasp]

[squeaking]

[Pickles] Thanks, Dave!

This will be perfect
for our banana collage.

Ooh!

[Carlos] Hey! I need that paint!

[Carlos groans]

[Rob] Well, friends,
sometimes we capture nature,

and sometimes
nature captures us.

[chuckle]

♪ It's a wild, wild world ♪

♪ And it's calling our name ♪

♪ It's a jungle out there ♪

♪ So let's get on our way ♪

♪ To have fun
Through the tunnel ♪

♪ See the big, big city ♪

♪ Everybody get ready ♪

♪ Get ready! ♪

♪ Time to go a little wild ♪

♪ We could go a million miles ♪

♪ Can I get a "Hey, oh!" ♪

♪ Can I get a "Let's go!" ♪

♪ On a journey All smiles ♪

♪ Time to go a little wild! ♪♪

[humming]

[Gloria] Now, for the
finishing touch...

Woo-hoo!

[Marty] Gloria! Your
painting got all wet!

[Gloria] Exactly! Now
it's a watercolor.

- [Marty] Wow!
- [Melman] Wow!

[Alex] My painting is
gonna be light on the water

and heavy on the mess.

[Marty] Watch where you're
making that mess, Alex!

Some of us have a neat and
orderly artistic vision.

- [Alex] Uh...
- [Gloria] Huh.

Squares. Cool.

[Alex] Are you gonna
color those in?

[sigh]

[Marty] Everyone's a critic.

Huh?

[humming]

[Melman] There!
Now it's finished!

[Marty] Wow!

[Alex] Whoa, Melman!
Marty looks so cool!

[Gloria] Yeah, and the
flowers really pop!

You're a terrific
artist, Melman!

[Alex] How do you do it?

[Melman] I paint the
stuff that makes me happy,

and I've got inspiration
all around me.

♪ Paint my world ♪

♪ My colors, my
patterns My magic ♪

♪ It can be Whatever
I wanna imagine ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ All I need is vision
I already have it ♪

♪ Inside of me, yeah ♪

♪ I set it free, yeah ♪

♪ When I'm shining my light ♪

♪ My world's so bright ♪

♪ When I am painting ♪

♪ With my truest colors ♪

♪ I feel I can fly ♪

♪ In a purple and yellow sky ♪

♪ Color me happy ♪

♪ Color me free ♪

♪ Color me where I wanna be ♪

♪ Color me wild ♪

♪ Just like my dreams ♪

♪ Color me ♪

♪ Color me ♪♪

[gasp]

[Alex] Look at the
color on that piece!

It's got Melman
written all over it!

[Marty] I don't see
his name anywhere!

[Gemma] Come, Mr. Moss.

Let's wrap this segment
over by the sea lions.

Watercolors by water animals.
The symmetry is divine!

Besides, I've heard
that sea lions

look exceptional on camera!

[Alex] Woah! On camera? Hang on.

I can't be the only lion
without a special segment

on the Rob Moss show!

[roar]

My roar has an artistic touch!

[groan]

[Melman] I don't think
they heard you, Alex.

[Alex] You're right.
I need to be louder!

Yeah!

We gotta hurry!

[all] Wow.

[Alex] Now, which one of
these turns on the microphone?

[alarm ringing]

[Marty] Let me try.

[screaming]

[Gloria] Let me give it a try!

[man] Congratulations!
You may have already won!

- [Alex] Awesome!
- [man] But probably not.

[grunt]

[Melman gasps]

[Melman] Is that pigeon blue?

Oh, I can paint the perfect
portrait of Ant'ney!

[chuckle]

[Alex] Nothing's working!

How am I gonna get them
to hear my best roar?

[Marty] I think you'll get
your chance! Here they come!

[gasp]

[giggle]

[gasping]

[scream]

[Kate] Don't worry,
your supplies are safe

in my office, Ms. Splatterblot.

[Gemma] What is this?

[gasp]

[Kate] I'm sorry, it
looks like my friends here

got into your supplies!

I'm sure it was an accident.

Mostly sure.

[Gemma] This is no accident.

This is

potential!

[giggle]

[all] Huh?

[Rob] Everybody's got
artistic potential.

Even a bunch of wild animals.

[Gemma] Yes. Animals can
be brilliant artists,

like that warthog at
the Cape Town MOMA.

[Rob] Oh, Willy! I loved
his impressionist work.

At least until he got his
horns stuck in the canvas.

[Gemma] Oh, it was off the buzz.

Museum tickets were
sold out for months.

We may just have Willy
the Warthog of our own!

Right here!

[Kate] We don't
have any warthogs.

[Gemma] But you
do have an artist.

Oh! I'm having an idea!

Bring the animals to the
museum tomorrow to paint.

Then we'll discover
which of your creatures

possesses this raw, wild talent!

[giggle]

[Kate] Wow, really?

Sounds like fun. We'll
see you tomorrow!

[cheering]

♪

[giggle]

[Kate] This looks like
art history in the making!

[Gemma] My dear,
history takes time!

Come, let the animals
immerse themselves in paint.

[Kate] Uh... Are
you sure you...?

[Gemma] Of course, darling,

it's not like they
know how to escape.

Besides, you must see our
exhibit in the east wing.

It's fabulous! No
one understands it!

[Melman] I've never seen a
wing's worth of art before!

[Alex] Are we talkin'
an eagle-sized wing,

or more like a parakeet?

[Gloria] Let's go take our
own tour and find out. C'mon!

[chuckling]

[gasp]

[giggling]

[laughing]

[Alex] I'm sure these
dusty old paintings

got nothing on your
artwork, Melman.

[gasp]

♪

[all] Wow!

[Alex] I take it back.
These are super impressive!

[gulp]

[Melman] My paintings
aren't that impressive.

Or big.

[Gloria] Woah! Look
at this painting!

I feel inspired already!

[laughing]

[Melman] Its eyes are
following me around.

I think it just scowled at me!

[scream]

[laugh]

[scream]

[gasping]

She's still staring at me!

I don't know if the art
here is really my style...

[gasp]

[scream]

[Marty] Wow...

Now, this is art!

[Melman] Uh, Marty,
how can words be art?

[Marty] Sure, these
are just museum rules.

But politely reminding folks

to walk, not run,
is an art form.

Take a look around, Melman.

Artists really can
change the world.

[Melman] I hadn't planned
on changing the whole world.

I'm not sure mine
belongs here...

[Gloria] Sure it does!

See, there's a space
right there for you...

As soon as you've
completed your masterpiece!

[Melman] Uh...
What's a masterpiece?

[Gloria] It's your
best painting.

The one that's so good it
has to hang in a museum

so that everybody
can look at it,

and think about it
and talk about it,

and share it and analyze it...

[Melman] Me, make a masterpiece?

[scream]

Sounds more like
a disaster-piece!

[whining]

[Gloria] Almost done
with another painting!

It's like my paintbrush
has a mind of its own!

[Melman] Uh-huh.

[Alex] Hey, Melman.

Which angle works best
for my self-portrait?

This one? Or this one?

[gulp]

[Melman] Uh... Totally.

[Alex] You're right,
they're both good.

You really are a true artiste!

[gasping]

[Marty] Hey, Melman. Can
I borrow the blue paint?

[Melman] Why? Do
you think the blue

wouldn't look good on mine?

[Marty] What? No. Are you okay?

[Melman] I mean...

I need some fresh air,
for artistic inspiration.

[gasping]

[gasping]

[sigh]

Huh?

[sniff]

Ugh, so much for fresh air!

But I guess this
is what I deserve.

Stinky air for a stinky artist!

[gasp]

[sniff]

[Andre Jean] Bonjour,
monsieur girafe.

[Melman] Mh...

[Andre Jean] I am Andre Jean,

and I am seeking
a packing peanut

- for my new sculpture.
- [Melman] Oh.

Uh... Like the ones
you're sitting on?

[Andre Jean] Ah, no.

These peanuts, they are close,
but none is quite right.

Once I see it, I
will know it is

the one.

Au revoir!

[Melman] Figures. Fancy
rat for a fancy museum.

Huh?

Even the garbage in this place

is better than
anything I could make.

If only I could
magically whip up

something this impressive.

[coughing]

Oh, no, my dusty hooves
are all over the painting!

I'm making it worse!

Now it's even covering
the artist's signature!

♪

Or maybe...

It's my signature, and
this could be my painting.

It's like everyone says,

one artist's trash is
another giraffe's treasure.

[nervous laugh]

[Marty] Let's do this!

[laughing]

[Gloria] Whoa, Melman, is
that your new painting?

[Melman] Well, sort of, I...

[Marty] It doesn't look like
anything you've painted before!

[Alex] Yeah, it looks
like you pulled it

right off the museum walls!

[Kate] I told you they might
make a bit of a mess...

[Gemma] The color, the
detail, the composition.

I think we've found
our mystery artist!

Our own Willy the Warthog!

[Alex] Awesome!

[Kate] I'm so proud
of you, Melman.

[Gemma] Mel-man!

The name that will be
plastered all over the city!

I need photo shoots,
billboards, interviews!

The works!

[Kate] A press tour?
Just for Melman?

[Gemma] Melman!

The world will want
to know everything!

What's his inspiration?
His upbringing?

His process? His muse?

Come, come, come, come.
Let's talk shop in my office!

Melman...

[Melman] We gotta stop Kate.
Tell her I'm allergic to stages!

Or spotlights! Or
stages with spotlights!

[Alex] That's just
stage fright talking.

[Gloria] You heard what she said.
That painting is a masterpiece!

[Marty] You deserve
it! [Alex] Just grab

your 15 minutes
of fame and enjoy!

[Gloria] Did you see
how proud Kate was?

She wants to show you off!

[Melman] I just hope
I don't embarrass her.

[Alex] Then, let's
practice your pawtograph!

They don't come
naturally, you know?

Hoof, paint, press!
Hoof, paint, press!

Hoof, paint, press!
Hoof, paint, press...

♪ Shine for the crowd ♪

♪ Stand proud You've earned it ♪

♪ Oh, all the praise ♪

♪ Celebrate, you deserve it ♪

♪ Cameras flashing the lights ♪

♪ They're gonna say "Wow" ♪

♪ You're famous now ♪

♪ Don't you know
All those lights ♪

♪ Are flashing for you ♪

♪ All those people
Love what you do ♪

♪ Shine for the crowd ♪

♪ Stand proud You've earned it ♪

♪ Oh, all the praise ♪

♪ Celebrate, you deserve it ♪

♪ Oh ♪♪

[Mary-Sue] So, tell us, Kate,
how did a little city giraffe

become such an
artistic supernova?

[Melman] Another interview?

[Kate] I've always known
Melman was special!

[Todd] You must have spent a lot of
time with Melman out in the wilderness,

where else would he be inspired
to paint that cozy cabin scene?

[Kate] Huh. I mean. I, I just...

[Mary-Sue] Well, his inspiration
may remain a mystery,

but this giraffe is
taking New York by storm!

[Todd] And you can see
him paint live tonight

at the New York City art museum!

- [Mary-Sue] See you under the spotlights!
- [Melman] Spotlights?

[gasping]

How did I paint the llama?
I just copied her...

I mean, I colored her!

What? What happened?
My paint brush?

[Gloria] You were talking
in your sleep, Melman.

[Melman] Sorry, Gloria!
No time to sleep.

If I need to paint in
front of a live audience,

I gotta practice making
master pieces now!

[snoring]

[Alex] Melman?

[Melman] One masterpiece
comin' right up!

[Alex] Uh, were you
out here all night?

[Melman] I was
working on this...

[gasp]

Now I'm sleepy and doomed!

I'm just a fake! A failure!

A fraud!

[Marty] Are you okay, Melman?

[whining]

[Melman] I tried to
stay up all night

and practice painting
because that painting

didn't come out of me.

[Alex] Of course it didn't.

Your cat muse brought it to you!

[Melman] No! I found
it by the garbage,

signed it with my hoofprint

and let everyone
believe it was mine.

I'm not a true artiste,
I'm an embarrassment.

And now, I'm gonna embarrass
everyone who believed in me.

Especially Kate.

[Alex] You don't need a
pretend painting, Melman.

[Marty] Yeah, you
already are an artiste.

We love your habitat paintings!

[Gloria] And Kate will too.

[Kate] C'mon, Melman!

Time to head to the
museum for your big show.

[Melman] I guess it's
time to face the artwork.

[Gloria] Cheer up, Melman.

Painting's always
made you so happy.

[Melman] But that other painting
made everybody else happy.

And they're not gonna be happy
when they find out the truth...

[Alex] Poor Melman.

[Marty] I think we need to help
him put the heart back in his art.

[Gloria] C'mon, let's
head to the museum

and cheer on our
favorite artiste!

[Alex] Dave! Pickles! We
need to hit the tunnels!

[scream]

[Pickles] You should
really know this by now.

Toll, please!

[Gloria] How about
a Melman original?

[Pickles] Hmm...
Melman's been on TV,

so this is gonna be worth
big bananas someday.

Toll accepted!

♪

- [Alex] Yay!
- [Gloria] Woo-hoo!

♪ Let's go find A
little adventure ♪

♪ Let's make it A
day to remember ♪

♪ Let's find something
new We can explore ♪

♪ Oh, explore ♪

♪ Let's go find A
little adventure ♪

♪ Let's make it A
day to remember ♪

♪ Let's charge Through
every open door ♪

♪ Adventure's calling! ♪♪

[Kate] Look, Melman!

All these people came
to watch you paint!

I'm so proud.

[gulp]

Wow, a Rob Moss original!

It sure is beautiful,
huh, Melman?

I bet yours will go
right next to it!

[phone ringing]

Hello? Oh, yes!
I'll be right over,

I'm actually walking
there right now.

♪

[gasp]

[Melman] That wasn't
just any painting.

It was a Rob Moss painting!

What have I done?

Take a deep breath.
Everything will be fine.

[exhales]

Okay, that's not working,
I gotta get outta here!

[groan]

[Andre Jean] Bonne
nuit, Monsieur Giraffe.

My goodness, you look, uh...

How you say...
Down in the dumps?

[Melman] You could say
that again, Andre Jean.

How'd your art piece turn out?

[sigh]

I bet it's not a disaster
like mine's gonna be.

[Andre Jean] That's
not possible.

Art is an extension
of the artist!

And you, mon ami,
are no disaster!

Although...

You might want to clean
yourself up just a bit.

[Melman] Thanks, Andre Jean.

Did you ever find the
perfect packing peanut?

[Andre Jean] Ah, yes!

Isn't it magnifique?

[Melman] It still looks
like a packing peanut to me.

[Andre Jean] Ah, but that
is the beauty of art, no?

To you, an ordinary
packing peanut.

But to me, it is extraordinary!

It reminds me of
summers eating crêpes

under the Eifel Tower!

[Melman] You see all that?

[Andre Jean] Oui,of course!
Art is personal, mon amie,

if it does not make you
happy, what's the point?

Now, I must be off to
paint my next masterpiece,

a stinky blue cheese,

though I don't think
it will last very long!

Au revoir!

[Melman] Au revoir!

[Gloria] There you are, Melman!

We came to pump you
up for your big event.

But you already
look pretty pumped.

[Melman] 'Cause Andre
Jean reminded me

it doesn't matter if my art
makes everyone else happy.

All I need is to paint
what makes me happy.

[Alex] That's great!
Who's Andre Jean?

[Marty] Must be an artist
from the East Wing.

[Gloria] I'm proud
of you, Melman.

Now go out there and show
the world who you are.

[Melman] A tall, spotted fraud?

[Marty] Start with
showing them the real you.

- Through your art.
- [Melman] That's what I meant.

Let's get this
painting party started!

♪

[Kate] Paint your
heart out, buddy.

♪

[Gemma] Welcome,
welcome, welcome, guests!

You're in for a treat today

when you meet our
wild, new talent.

The artistic marvel behind the
painting you know and love,

Melman the giraffe.

Let's watch the magic, shall we?

[clapping]

[sigh]

♪

[Carlos] Hey! That's
a Rob Moss original!

[gasp]

[Gemma] What... What
is going on here?

[Rob] Yes, that
does look familiar.

[Carlos] Rob Moss!

[gasp]

[Rob] This is the painting

that's gotten
everyone's attention?

[chuckle]

Oh, my. Excuse me,
pardon me there.

I've been so busy with my work,
I missed all the hullabaloo.

But it's true, this is my own.

That's my family cabin,

and my beloved
tabby cat, Murphy.

[Alex] See? Everyone
has a cat muse!

[Rob] I have to admit,

I never thought I'd see
this painting again.

- [Gemma] How did this happen?
- [Kate] I'm sure there's

a perfectly reasonable
explanation for this.

Actually, I'm not so sure.

[Rob] I poured my heart
into this painting,

but when it was done,

I thought it wasn't
serious enough

to be in a museum,
so I threw it away.

But seeing how much
you all enjoy it...

It's been wonderful.

Even if you did think it was
painted by a wild animal.

I don't know what this
little guy is capable of,

but I know he loves art. You
wanna show us what you got?

[Kate] Go on, Melman. Show
'em the giraffe I love.

[Melman] This one's
straight from the heart.

♪ When I'm shining my light ♪

♪ My world's so bright ♪

♪ When I am where I wanna be ♪

♪ Color me wild ♪

♪ Just like my dreams ♪

♪ Color me ♪

♪ Color me ♪♪

[Marty] Yeah, go,
Melman! That's my friend!

[Kate] Huh! That museum
tour must have worked,

I can really see
myself in the art!

[Melman] Maybe I'm not allergic
to spotlights after all!

[Carlos] Just a little dab here.

A happy cloud there,

and, finished!

[Dave squeaking]

Wow, I must be getting good.

I've captured nature so
well, it almost sounds alive!

Huh?

Oh, no. Pickles, Dave,
wait just one minute...

[Melman] Poor Carlos.

This would never
happen to Rob Moss.

♪

[giggle]

♪

♪ Let's go find A
little adventure ♪

♪ Let's make it A
day to remember ♪

♪ Let's find something
new We can explore ♪

♪ Oh, explore ♪

♪ Let's go find A
little adventure ♪

♪ Let's make it A
day to remember ♪

♪ Let's charge Through
every open door ♪

♪

♪ Adventure's calling! ♪♪