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Trevor (2023)

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Comedy Movie Collection.

Trevor (2023)

Post by bunniefuu »

(aeroplane engine roaring)

(soft upbeat music)

(soft upbeat music continues)

(singer vocalising)

(soft upbeat music continues)

It's beautiful.

It's, it's remote.

But we do.

We have Antxon.

Handyman.

From the north of the country, I think.

Don't know.

He speaks about four words of English.

"Hello.

Money.

More money.

And wine."

Except he says Bine.

With a B.

Well come over.

Next year.

There's lots of space.

Okay.

Love you too.

Bye.

(engine rumbling)

(birds chirping)

(Jen breathing heavily)

- Panic attack again?

- Yes.

What do you think?

A bit early.

Bit early like the people in the village.

(bottles clattering)

Drinking wine.

Chatting.

Together.

(Lyn sighing)

Hi, I'm Lyn. (Clearing throat)

(Lyn sighing)

Hi.

I'm Lyn.

(birds chirping)

(light orchestral music)

(tense music)

Die, m*therf*cker.

Die!

Where were you Doomsong88?

Wendy!

Wendy!

The bloody power's out and

I've got a conference call.

Who with?

Does it matter?

I have to be on it.

[Wendy] No, I suppose not.

Why can't you use your mobile?

I can't.

I need my computer.

Oh.

It's that type of conference call.

For your witchcraft.

It's not witchcraft.

It's Warcraft.

"World of Warcraft".

A special gathering

from the West Coast to Asia.

Been arranged for weeks.

Yes, so have our visitors.

I know.

I just have to do this call first.

And then I'll cook the lamb.

All in time for Jen.

Does anything work in this f*cking place?

Where's that guy, Antman?

It's Antxon.

Antxon!

(bottles clattering)

The fridge isn't working

and the lamb's getting warm,

which I'm bloody sure mean

it'll be covered in ants

by the time I blink

because once those little

b*stards figure out

the power's off, they'll be all over it.

So why don't you cook

it now and eat it later?

I can't cook it now

because the power's off.

That means the oven's off too.

Well then cook it outside

on a bloody barbecue.

We haven't got a bloody barbecue.

Well then it's time for a quest.

A quest to make a bloody barbecue.

Away from the world of witchcraft.

Make a bloody barbecue?

Are you going to help me?

(insects and birds chirping)

Antman!

Antman!

(muffled upbeat music)

Hello rock.

Let's roll.

(upbeat pop music)

(singer vocalising)

(upbeat pop music continues)

Wendy.

Wendy!

Can I borrow your lighter.

- I don't smoke.

When did you stop?

When we moved here.

I never realised.

Well are there any matches?

There's none in the living room.

You told me to build a bloody barbecue.

And have you?

Yes.

But I can't light it.

- Antxon has a lighter.

But he's not here.

And I need to cook.

Now.

Antman!

Right.

(upbeat pop music)

(singer vocalising)

(rocks clacking)

(birds chirping)

Bollocks.

- That's him.

- What is he doing?

Gardening?

(rocks clacking)

- Jen.

- Hi Dad.

Lighter.

Got a lighter on you haven't you?

No I don't have a lighter.

Why has everyone stopped?

Have you got a lighter?

- No, I-

- Scour the house!

There must be matches in there somewhere.

A lighter of some kind.

These things, useless.

God's sake.

Come on, Dave.

- Find matches

or a lighter of some kind.

There must be one in there somewhere.

Jen.

Jen.

"Hello Dave.

Nice to finally meet you after, what?

A decade of nothing?

Jen's told me all about you."

[Jen] Except I haven't.

Yeah, he's a bit mad.

Banging those stones together

like he thinks they're flint.

I just want to talk to him.

And he just wants a lighter from me.

How does he always manage to piss me off?

Just give it a minute.

[Jen] I've given him 10 years.

So another minute won't k*ll you.

[Wendy] Hello?

Hello.

I'm Wendy.

And you're Jen.

And you're Dave?

Hello.

So you found us okay?

I was expecting...

Platinum blonde.

Like-

No.

Never been platinum.

Or like.

Please, sit down.

Quite a long drive in the end.

Of course.

You must be thirsty.

I'd love a cup of

Wine?

- Okay.

- Oh good.

I was hoping we'd have

something in common.

Glasses are over there.

(cork popping)

(bottle opening clattering)

I used to work in catering.

Fire!

Fire!

sh*t.

We forgot to look for the matches.

Try the kitchen.

(upbeat music)

The cupboard under the sink.

(cabinets thudding)

Ah, Finchy.

This is Trevor's daughter.

[Dave] Nothing here.

Try the cupboard on the left.

No, the far left.

I'm Lyn.

And you're?

- Jen.

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you too.

You've changed

Wendy calls me Finchy.

It's a nickname from years ago.

But I'm Lyn.

(matches clattering)

Found some.

Cheers.

Now we have fire.

Get the tongs.

(upbeat music continues)

(singer vocalising)

Now what?

(tongs clattering)

(upbeat music continues)

Tarpaulin!

Pretty sure we don't have a tarpaulin.

He needs a tarpaulin.

We haven't got a tarpaulin.

Okay.

(upbeat music continues)

Thanks.

No tarpaulin.

What do you mean?

No tarpaulin.

Right.

You, now.

Be a starfish.

What?

Come on man.

Be a starfish.

What are you talking about?

You should model.

Isn't she gorgeous?

Mmm.

Gorgeous.

Gorgeous.

Be right back.

Right.

Now what?

(thunder crashing)

- Dad, could I-

- Just a sec, just a sec.

No, I need to talk, it's really

Medium High for 30 minutes.

Can you just listen to me for a moment?

I'm all yours after the lamb.

M.H. for 30.

[Jen] Look I've come all the way from

Lamb!

M.H. for 30.

He's always like this when he cooks.

Yeah.

He'll be back in 30.

(thunder crashing)

Antxon.

Dave.

Starfish!

Umbrella.

It has to be cooked at 30 degrees

for half an hour or it'll be slaughtered.

He's gone.

This guy, he's

He's Trevor.

He's a perfectionist in the kitchen.

Hi.

Dave.

Lyn.

[Both] Nice to meet you.

(both laughing)

Top up?

Please.

(upbeat music)

(singer vocalising)

(thunder crashing)

[Dave] You can really lose yourself

on the nature trails.

[Jen] We drove through the village.

At the foot of the mountain.

Went into a little store there.

Well it's completely remote.

Nice caf too.

Quite a few people.

You know it's a two-hour hike

to the village.

And a beer.

Oh I don't drink beer.

Some beers.

I can't drink beer.

Gives me gas.

Can't stop farting.

Finchy.

Well don't blame me.

Blame my body.

It gives me gas too.

I live with it though.

Which means I live with it too.

[Dave] I like beer.

How often do you go to the village?

Mmm.

Never.

[Jen] Never?

Well it feels like an all-day hike

in the heat.

And it's uphill all the way back too.

You go there often, Lyn?

Never.

Never?

No car.

[Dave] Why don't you have a car?

We did but, Trevor,

he's not good with cars.

He's not good with people either.

- Dave!

- What?

What is he good at?

Trevor's good at...

Food.

He's good at food.

So, what do you do up here?

What do we do?

What do we do?

What do you think we do, Dave?

I don't know.

It's a big place.

Renovation?

Exactly.

Well there's lots to be done.

And that's what we do.

And you do it all yourself?

The renovation, I mean.

Me?

Do it all myself?

No I mean you, and Dad, and Lyn and

Well we are three different people.

Yes but we're not a threesome.

(all laughing)

I didn't mean that.

I just

Who is doing the renovation?

Do.

If you want specifics I

suppose I manage the doing.

Which means I sit and I think

and I plan but I don't do.

Mmm.

Antxon here.

He does the doing.

(cork popping)

See?

Thank you.

And Trevor, does he do?

Trevor's doing his own things,

but he doesn't do the house.

He works up here?

Of course.

Well there's plenty of things

you can do in the middle of nowhere.

How can you work when

you don't have any power?

Oh no, we do have power.

It's just a little quirky.

Trevor's always doing something.

In his office.

Well he's not in his office now.

He's doing something in the garden.

Well, that's true.

He's out there in the rain.

Yes well he can hardly cook his lamb

in his office, now can he?

No he's trying out his barbecue.

He doesn't have to cook for us.

Sounds like a storm's started out there.

He should come in.

No.

Leave him.

He said he wanted to cook.

He's been talking about it for weeks.

But it's raining cats and dogs out there.

And I don't even like meat that much.

I like vegetables.

You're a vegetarian.

You can't tell him you're vegetarian.

I'm not a vegetarian.

Because we lost the power

and he spent ages building a barbecue

and now he's out there cooking his lamb.

And he's happy.

He's mad.

He's soaking.

His lamb could give him pneumonia.

Oh of course it couldn't.

(thunder crashing)

Antman!

You have to eat the lamb too.

I don't have to eat anything.

Well he's cooking it for you.

Said it was your favourite.

When I was seven.

When I liked Monopoly.

It will just be easier.

He'll just be easier if you eat the lamb.

I don't like meat that much.

I rarely touch it.

Hey.

You like chicken.

- No I don't.

- Yeah we

He's cooking it for you.

Specifically.

- I said-

- In the middle of a storm.

I'm not going to do it.

Please.

No.

Look.

Can you just put a bit on your plate?

And then when he's not looking

you can always throw it under the table.

You're kidding, right?

No, because he'll be very upset

if you don't eat that lamb.

He's been playing with

sauces and stuff for weeks.

And you want me to

throw it under the table.

Well if you're not going to eat it.

I can't see what the big deal is about.

I'll just tell him I'm not that keen

on meat anymore.

No!

Please.

Because then you'll go.

So?

And there'll be all the pieces

to pick up after you've gone.

Depression.

Well, it's inevitable.

He's bound to feel it if he realises

that he doesn't know you at all anymore.

I think you're being a bit dramatic.

Am I?

Yes I think

You're not close to him.

Even if you were in the past,

you're not anymore.

Look I've been with him

for eight years now.

And you and me, we've never even met.

It's an observation.

Not an accusation.

I mean we've hardly gone

out of our way either

to get on a plane.

- Exactly.

- But you don't know him.

Not anymore.

It's normal.

Things change.

People change.

So you want me to eat the lamb.

Or at least put a bit on your plate.

And throw it

Under the table.

He'll never look there.

Oh, but give me a sign if you do that.

Because I'll have to deal with the ants.

Ants?

Mmm.

They swarm on anything.

Hot climate, you know.

Look, we bought some

cheese in the village.

You can have that.

Yes.

A cheese and wine party.

With lamb.

(thunder rumbling)

Absolutely pissing down out there.

Did you manage to cook the lamb?

Yes by some miracle and no thanks

to the f*cking weather gods,

I did manage to cook the lamb.

I tasted some of it.

Jen, you're going to love this lamb.

I think I should tell you about

I'll have some lamb.

I thought you were a vegetarian?

Well it's a special occasion.

I'm taking the night off.

I didn't think it worked like that.

Oh here's your man.

His name's Dave.

Dave.

Right.

Sorry.

Crap with names.

I can wear a badge if you want.

Would you?

- Yeah.

- No.

He's not going to wear a badge.

He's Dave.

And I'm Jen.

And no one's wearing badges

unless you wear a badge too.

I'd be happy to wear a badge.

I've got some prepared.

So we're all going to wear badges

because you can't be bothered

to remember someone's name?

I'm crap with names.

You know that.

Dad.

There are five people in this room.

You're one of them.

You know your own name, right?

Yes.

What is it?

Trevor.

Right.

And your wife's here too.

You know her name?

Yes.

- What is it?

- Wendy.

And I know you know mine

'cause I just told you.

So, that's three down.

Two to go.

- Is this a game?

- Not even close.

This is about my partner.

Who is he?

(Trevor sighing)

I'll give you a clue.

Four letters.

Starts with a D.

d*ck?

You think I'd go out

with a guy called d*ck?

Doug?

Oh come on!

Jen.

It's okay.

No it's not.

I'm bad with names, you know that.

But I do know that that's Finchy.

See I remembered that.

Oh come on everybody.

The lamb's getting cold.

Let's eat.

Why can't you just say

It's alright.

Look, you can call me Starfish or Starman

or whatever the f*ck you like,

I don't care.

I just want that lamb.

- Thanks, um-

- Dave!

Dave.

(upbeat music)

(singer vocalising)

- Went to Hong Kong once.

- Did you?

[Trevor] Just the once.

Meant to be twice

but I couldn't stand it again.

[Dave] Hong Kong is different for sure.

All those people.

Chaos.

First time I'd even seen

poverty and wealth hand-in-hand.

And people taking birds in cages for walks

as if they were a dog on a leash.

Why do people go to Asia anyway?

I've never seen the pull?

It's exotic.

Can be erotic.

If you like.

I do. (Chuckling)

It's not home.

Finchy went there, didn't you Finchy?

Lyn.

Yeah I've been to a few places.

Where did you go?

Thailand.

Vietnam.

Cambodia.

Thailand again.

We met in Vietnam.

Ah.

Business or pleasure.

Pleasure of course.

We were on package tours.

We didn't know each other then.

My group was crammed onto

the same bus as Dave's group.

It came with a guide.

f*cking useless that guide.

Spent most of his time screaming

when the vegetation rustled.

We all got dumped off the bus

at a hostel in the middle of nowhere.

But right next to a barnful of beer.

Can you imagine?

Ice cold beer in the heat.

Yeah we talked a lot and drank

like a couple of rabid dogs.

We've been together ever since.

Aw. (Chuckling)

Did you go on a tour?

I prefer to travel alone.

(Trevor laughing)

Sexual tourist, Lyn.

Well you can say that

if you want to say that.

No, my first time I fell

in love in Thailand.

Then Asia gave me the travel bug.

Me too.

And Jen.

She didn't get the bug from me.

Must have been from her mother.

She liked moving on.

I need to talk to you.

About Asia?

Sort of.

I need to talk now.

[Trevor] My god.

What is it?

Are you ill?

- It's not really about me.

Then what is it?

Mom's alive.

[Wendy] Are you sure?

I saw her.

Where?

Thailand.

At the Royal Phuket Marina.

We were crewing on a super yacht.

We went ashore.

I smelled her before I saw her.

Remember that perfume?

And the bleached platinum

blonde bubble cut

like a huge white space helmet.

I always remember her being big

but I think she's even bigger now.

Couldn't believe it.

I just stood there and stared at her.

Then she saw me.

I don't know who was more shocked.

Then she turned and started to run.

I mean, seriously, run?

My mother ran away from me.

Why do you think she did that?

I thought she was dead.

I thought she'd drowned.

I thought she had.

Did you?

Really?

Because I had to come all the way here

to look you in the eye and ask

did you really believe she was dead?

You never said anything apart from

"she's lost at sea".

That's all I knew.

That's it?

That's all?

That woman left for a trip to France

the day before you left

to go around the world.

She got on a boat,

never came off the other end.

Presumed overboard.

Lost at sea.

But she's not lost at sea.

She's in Thailand in a f*cking marina.

That's the mystery?

Why do you think she did that?

I don't know.

I don't know why she ever did anything.

So you have absolutely no idea

why she'd let everyone think she was dead?

No.

There's absolutely nothing else to add.

Nothing.

Nothing?

Well except for that credit card stuff.

What?

Well she owed a bunch

of money on credit cards.

Not a fortune

but I'm glad it wasn't my debt.

That's one good thing

about being dead I suppose.

The credit card companies

tend to leave you alone.

But she's not dead.

She's in Thailand.

She ran away from me.

And she is not built for running.

What?

Trying to lighten things up here.

So she owed money on credit cards.

How much money?

About 50 grand.

And that's enough for her

to want to just disappear

and want to run away from me?

Well I wouldn't have thought so.

Debt was nothing new to her.

And it certainly wouldn't

have worried her.

So we're back to square one.

Why did she run?

We've travelled half way around the world

to get some answers.

So far we've got nothing.

(soft music)

Well, it's late.

Everyone's tired.

Money.

Well that woman you're talking about

wasn't capable of love.

I mean not the way

you're talking about her.

And if it isn't love, it's always money.

There wasn't any money.

Just debt.

Money is money

and debt creates money.

And you know what?

There's always money somewhere.

- Money.

- Where the f*ck

did you come from?

Find the money.

Find the money.

Find the money.

Find the money, honey.

(soft upbeat music)

(singer vocalising)

(birds chirping)

(soft music)

Sun.

And more sun for my birthday.

Not that that matters.

Trevor?

He's got lamb on the menu at the moment.

He cooked a shoulder last week

and overdid the sprigs of rosemary.

They singed in the oven.

Looked like a bearded hipster.

Bit disturbing.

He's into barbecues now.

(door clicking)

I have to go.

Finchy's just walked in.

But come over, yes?

Next year, there's plenty of space.

Okay, love you too.

Bye.

Bye.

Good morning.

(sighing) Morning.

Got any plans?

Nope, not yet.

You?

Well, I was going to clear up in here.

Mmm, leave it.

We can do it later, I just want to relax

for a little bit longer.

Too much wine?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I'll come back later and

give you a hand, okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Morning, Finchy.

Lyn.

Lyn, sorry.

Crap with names.

You're not wearing a badge, either.

These are funny days.

With my ex-wife turning up alive.

There's something about

you I've always liked.

You're more of a mate

than a woman, really.

If you know what I mean.

No of fence, I hope.

You're someone I can talk to.

You listen to me.

Unlike my first wife.

God, I wish she was dead.

I mean really dead this

time, that f*cking woman.

When I find out what

the f*ck she's up to...

(insects chirping)

(soft orchestral music)

(singer vocalising)

I smelled her before I saw her.

Remember that perfume?

And the bleached,

platinum blonde bubble cut

like a huge white space helmet?

Bleached blond bubble cut.

(upbeat music continues)

(keys clacking)

(upbeat music continues)

(papers rustling)

(papers rustling)

(upbeat music continues)

(birds chirping)

[Dave] You got a bit woo hoo last night.

[Jen] What's that supposed to mean?

[Dave] You know, you got a bit weird

around old Trevor there.

- No, I didn't.

- Come on, you totally did.

- f*ck off, Dave.

[Dave] You f*ck off.

I just mean that I've never

seen you like that before.

- Like what?

- Like that.

All tense, all f*cked up.

All angry at the world.

[Jen] What are you talking about?

[Dave] Well, you!

Because there's no one else around.

Just because of that woman.

[Jen] My mother's got

nothing to do with you

so stop talking about

her like you know her!

[Dave] Well I'm not, and I don't.

I'm talking about you

and your dad last night.

You were angry at Trevor.

[Jen] I wasn't.

It's none of your business.

None of it.

[Dave] Oh, so why the f*ck am I here

if it's none of my business?

I didn't have to come.

[Jen] So why did you

come if you didn't have to?

[Dave] Because you asked me to!

You don't sound anything like him.

[Jen] I sound like her.

- Does it piss him off?

- Probably.

[Dave] He is a bit mad.

[Jen] Don't start.

[Dave] I like mad people,

just as long as they don't have knives.

[Jen] He's got knives, he's a chef!

[Dave] sh*t, I forgot.

You think he'd come up

with any answers soon?

No idea.

Not even sure he was listening last night.

We all had a fair bit of wine.

Lovely and cold.

Like him.

Mmm.

He's not cold, he's just

not very good with people.

No, well,

I wonder, if he thinks about me.

Well, do you ever think about him?

Of course I do.

Well, then.

You got a bit angry back there.

I know.

I like it, just not every day.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Is this where I ask why?

Mm-hm.

Why?

Make up sex.

Worth every insult.

Oh, yes.

I always wanted to do it.

In a field, in the sun, in a foreign land.

Well, it's kind of sunny.

I reckon we can tick the other boxes.

(soft music)

(keys clacking)

(sighing) Hello, Hamish.

Trevor.

No, Trevor McAlister.

Exactly, McAlister.

Look, I won't keep you, but

do you remember the account

you set up for my daughter, Jen?

Yes, that's the one.

Well, she's visiting at the moment.

I'd like to show her what

she's getting for her 30th.

You know, a nice surprise,

that sort of thing.

But I can't find the

online banking password.

Well yes, of course.

But she would have left

by the time it arrives.

Oh, you could?

A screenshot, now?

Splendid!

You know, been ages since

I looked at the account.

There must be nearly

Three million in there, now, yes.

Do me a favour, Hamish, would you?

And change the password.

To future30.

Yes, I supposed it isn't

regular banking procedure but

neither is three million.

So change the password,

or should I move my cash to another bank?

(Hamish speaking indistinctly)

Good man.

Banker.

I found the money, honey.

Better?

100 times better.

Got inspired by the guests?

Don't know, inspired by something.

Ah.

Ah, still writing your lists.

You were always writing lists.

Mmm.

I like lists.

I like their structure.

What's gone and what's to come.

What is that?

Is that like a female trait?

No, it's a Wendy trait.

Definitely a Wendy trait.

You, you want to take

a walk with me outside

in the garden?

No?

Come and take a look at the sun.

I can see it from here.

Yeah, but

it's not the same as

feeling it on your skin

I don't want to feel it on my skin.

Not with my health luck.

You can't stay inside forever.

Want to bet?

(Lyn laughing)

You know, there's a lot

of things growing out there

Good for them.

Mmm.

I saw some poppies out

there, and I thought

I'm going to start harvesting opium.

You know?

And then, I'm going to season

the lamb with some opium,

and put it on the barbecue.

(sighing) I'll go out one day.

Why not today?

Mm-mm.

Not today.

You know you got that

all cleared up, right?

You know that.

You know you're well again.

Yeah, I know.

Okay.

Okay.

Come on.

No!

What are you doing?

- I-

- What?

What are you doing

I just want to see if

you still feel, okay?

To see if you're still the same.

Of course we're not the same.

It was a lifetime ago.

A different continent.

We were different people.

We're not that different, now.

Of course we are.

I'm changed.

When you're ill, your body stinks.

And even when you're well,

the stink just clings.

It changes you.

That's what disease does.

And you,

you, you are f*cking different now.

- I only-

- Finchy,

you were a man.

- I don't need you-

- Stop.

Just stop it.

(Lyn sighing)

(Lyn exhaling)

Stop what?

Just stop.

Like, what you were doing last night.

The wistful glances.

- I wasn't giving you any-

- You were.

Thank Christ the lights were

out and no one else saw.

I'm trying to adjust.

The change is huge.

I...

I know the change is huge.

But it's your change, not mine.

You have got to stop

living in the past or,

or you've got to leave this house.

There is no other option.

- I'm-

- I know.

I know you're broke.

How?

Because nobody lives

with their ex up a mountain

with no car, in the

middle of f*cking nowhere

if they're not broke.

Or obsessed with yoga.

I like you.

I always have.

And I probably always will.

But you can't live off us

if you hurt me, or Trevor.

Or yourself.

f*ck.

(soft upbeat music)

A proper one!

Thanks, Antman.

Antxon, sorry.

Antxon.

Oh, you want money?

I'll pay you later.

I won't pay you later?

Pay you now?

(Trevor sighing)

Guitar?

I don't need a guitar.

Look, I must have spent

a couple of thousands

on these odds and the sods,

but I don't need a guitar!

In fact, not only do

I don't need a guitar.

I know nobody else who

needs a guitar either.

(string plucking)

f*ck!

It's Wendy's birthday.

Tomorrow!

I do need a guitar!

I'll pay you later.

Money.

I won't pay you later, I'll pay you now.

Right.

Hello, Antxon.

You know, sometimes it

is hard being a woman.

I need someone to talk

to, can I talk to you?

You know you're ideal

because you don't understand

a word I'm saying.

I made a complete a*s out of myself today.

(sighing) I kissed Wendy.

And not a peck on the cheek.

No like a full lock-and-load

right on the lips

just like we used to.

She wasn't happy.

Thank Christ I kept my tongue in my mouth.

I thought she was going to, like,

(sighing) I don't know what I thought.

That's the problem, I didn't think.

I don't know what to do anymore.

About anything.

(sombre music)

You know, this operation.

This life-changing op, my dream come true.

It's cleaned me right out.

Right at the time when

my tenants, you know.

My f*cking tenants, if they

just pay me the two grand,

I could get back up on my feet, you know?

Maybe I could start dating.

Never dated a man before,

I mean how does that work?

How does a woman get given flowers, huh?

Why the f*ck am I asking you?

What will be, will be.

(soft music)

What will be, will be.

(insects chirping)

(soft music)

(birds chirping)

(both chattering indistinctly)

Hey!

- Good walk?

- Lovely fields.

Not too remote?

No.

Tall grass, ideal.

We could spend a lot more time there.

We walked to the village.

[Dave] It's only 40 minutes.

Is that all?

Yeah but it's uphill on the way back.

You look fit.

You could handle it.

Oh.

Thanks, Dave!

(soft music)

(all chattering)

(Jen laughing)

(both chattering indistinctly)

(Jen laughing)

(both chattering indistinctly)

(water running)

(Jen laughing)

Mmm.

Barbecue chicken!

What can I do to help?

Nothing.

Come on, I won't be in the way.

Yes, you will.

Trevor, why are you being an as*h*le?

Okay, well how long before

I need to set the table?

30 degrees for 30 minutes.

- I'll tell the others.

- Go on, then.

(soft music)

(soft upbeat music)

(Wendy sighing)

Thanks.

[Dave] Yeah, we'll

take a blanket next time.

I really liked the watermill.

Hey, been to the watermill?

The cafe's amazing.

And those views.

The watermill?

We're going to go next week.

So what I wanted to ask is, is this you?

Yep, it was quite a while ago.

Not that long ago.

Before dad?

No, with Trevor.

The early days.

He was always in the audience.

Really?

I didn't know he liked clubs.

He doesn't.

He liked me.

Well, you look great.

Well, like I said, it was a while ago.

And a lot's happened since then.

(hand slamming)

It was four years ago.

Four.

It wasn't the 17th century!

- What's going on?

- She's well.

For f*ck sake, tell her she's well again!

What are you talking about

It doesn't matter.

Well, it sounds like it

matters if Lyn's punching tables.

Punching tables?

Why are you punching tables, Lyn?

She sits on that sofa all day long

like she's still ill.

Why don't you notice?

Whoa, I don't know why

you're screaming at him

but don't scream at him!

What the f*ck do you care?

You haven't seen him in 10 years.

What the f*ck's that got to do with you?

Yeah, what the f*ck's that

got to do with you, Lyn?

Look, Lyn, I don't know

what you've been smoking,

but it sounds like you're out of order.

No, Dave, I'm not.

I'm probably the only one

here who's not out of order

because I'm the only one

here who can say out loud

that I actually care about someone else.

Are you saying I don't care about Jen?

Are you f*cking kidding me?

I'm talking about Wendy.

Drop it!

Why did you just say

you care about Wendy, Lyn?

(tense music)

f*ck sake!

Antman!

(soft music)

How the f*ck does he do that?

Excuse me.

Anyone want to tell me

what we were arguing about?

Help yourselves.

(soft music)

You know what, I think I'll turn in.

But it's only

Early start tomorrow.

This place, it's just too remote.

You are too remote.

Jen.

I'm sorry.

Give me an hour alone, okay?

Come on, Jen

Just give me an hour alone.

(soft music continues)

(Dave sighing)

She said you weren't

very good with people.

She's probably right.

But I'm excellent at other things.

Oh yeah?

What's that?

Research.

(soft music continues)

That f

woman, with her platinum

blonde bubble cut.

She went phishing.

Fishing?

Phishing with a P-H.

Identity theft.

Spear phishing to be precise.

You know, targeting some individual

with some con or other.

They're taking the money

and putting it in the account we set up

for Jen years ago.

Brilliant, really.

Brilliant.

Yes, brilliant.

Because if they ever trace

the money to the account,

my hands are all over it.

I'd be right

But she is supposed to be dead.

If only.

She can't do anything

She can and she did.

Because she could always

pretend to be Jen online

as long as she had the right access codes.

Jen never said anything

about an account.

She wouldn't, it's a

surprise for her 30th.

And there was meant to be

thirty grand in there, but

Three million?

Not a bad return for a 10 year lie.

Why would she do this to Jen, or to you?

I don't know.

Like I said Irreconcilable differences.

When did you find all this out?

This afternoon.

But you didn't tell Jen?

Trying to find the right moment.

God, you are mad.

Over to you, Starfish.

(hands smacking)

(birds chirping)

(upbeat music)

(singer vocalising)

(phone ringing)

(upbeat music continues)

(footsteps thudding)

Sleep well?

We had a lot of sex.

Well done.

We're starving.

Thought we'd drive to the village.

Get something to eat there.

And read that package again.

You'll let me know if there's

anything I can do, okay?

- Okay.

- I mean anything at all,

okay?

- Okay.

Anything?

Okay. (Laughing)

You're coming back, aren't you?

Of course we're coming back.

I hear you're cooking lamb.

(singer vocalising)

(Wendy sobbing)

I'm not ready to go outside.

You have to today.

Why?

Because it's your birthday.

(upbeat music continues)

(singer vocalising)

(soft music)

[Antxon] Hello, Lyn.

(soft orchestral music)

(Lyn laughing)

(soft orchestral music continues)

(upbeat pop music)

(singer vocalising)

Time waits

Time never passes

Time stands still

And we live

Loving laughing passing time

With a tick, tock, tick, tock

All this time, all this time

All this luscious wasted

stealing fighting time

All this time

All this tempus fugit

boundless dancing time

Oh, I've loved you

And you've loved me too

It's a miracle meeting you

You make me smile

Yeah

You make me smile

Yeah

Love moves

Love is the wave that floats the clock

And we ride

Flowing forever, we never stop

For a tick, tock, tick, tock

All this time, all this time

All this luscious wasted

stealing fighting time

All this time

All this tempus fugit

boundless dancing time

Oh I've loved you

And you've loved me too

It's a miracle meeting you

You make me smile

Yeah

You make me smile

Yeah

You make me smile

Yeah

You make me smile

Yeah

You make me smile

(singers vocalising)

(soft upbeat music continues)

(soft upbeat music continues)

(soft upbeat music continues)