02x04 - Alternative Therapies

[bunniefuu]

Ow! MINA: That doesn't hurt.

Well, it does a bit, but

Thanks for squeezing

me in this week.

I've always wanted

to try acupuncture.

I hear it's really good

for bringing the body

SHIV SCREAMS Jesus

f*cking Christ!

Oh! That's your kidneys.

SHIV WHIMPERS That one hurts.

SHE EXHALES

How's your father?

Good, yeah.

Yeah, he's really Glad

you brought him up, actually,

cos that way, you know,

I'm not being co-dependent.

Turn over.

Er I don't know if you know,

but he and Mom

are separated now.

Properly. So

he's completely available.

He's a very needy man.

Well, he's a lot

more independent now.

And, er, he's got more

time on his hands.

You should call him or

go and see him sometime.

I know he's there today. I'm

sure he'd love to see you if

I've been doing

some online dating.

Irishmen are very depressing.

Mm, yeah.

MINA EXHALES

You're a very repressed person.

What?!

Your heart is very closed.

No. No, no. I'm in a new

relationship, actually,

and it's going

really well, so

Is there someone

you're not forgiving?

No. No?

Can't think of anyone, no.

Holding grudges,

very bad for skin.

Look, it's all very well to

say, "Just forgive someone,"

but what if that person's

done some really bad things?

And what if you've done some

really bad things with that person?

I am finally at a place in

my life where I can say,

"No, that's not good for

me, I'm not gonna go there.

"I'm going to look after myself

and take care of number one.

"And sorry if you find that hurtful

or if you're having a sh*t time.

"But do you know what?

That is not my problem.

"Because I am making

healthy choices every day."

"And I am my own best friend."

"I think that's really

powerful, actually."

Actually, I'm really

f*cking proud of myself

for getting here, you know.

That's 80 euros.

COFFEE MACHINE DRONES

Can I take one of these?

Mm, help yourself.

I thought you might

be pulling a sickie.

Heard you throwing

up last night.

Not out on the

razzmatazz, were you?

No, just a tummy bug.

Aw.

She always says you're

the sensible one.

She's very proud of you,

you know, your mother.

Your achievements,

your unbroken success.

I mean with Carl

and then Shiv.

Jesus, Shiv, what a

mess FINBAR SCOFFS

even without the

alcoholism. BOTH CHUCKLE.

But you She always says

"Caroline. She's the one."

"She's the one who'll

make us proud."

Thought I'd share that with you.

How do I look?

Great. Where you going?

Oh, important business meeting.

Wish me luck! HE CHUCKLES.

Go easy on those, not

great for the old

SLAPS HIS BOTTOM

Hey!

Oh! What are you doing here?

Hi, love.

You know Shiv, my daughter.

She goes to the

afternoon meetings.

That's not the Shiv they

kicked out last week?

Mm-hm. Heard he

made a babby cry.

No, that's not

Jack turned up to a meeting.

Oh. My ex. He's

not an alcoholic.

How do you know?

Oh, he's going through a very

tough time. Custody battles.

SYMPATHETIC MURMURS

That's not what

meetings are for.

So, back to your interview.

What interview?

Oh, it's nothing.

It's not nothin'. I mean, they're

doing a photo sh**t an' all.

A friend of Billy's

is a journalist.

They wanna do a

little piece about me,

and Pam.

But should you do that? They're

calling you as a witness.

She's not gonna be

talking about the trial.

No!

It's about our friendship

and who Pam was.

But is this the wisest thing

when you're in recovery?

Ooh, someone's a stickler.

I'm not a stickler.

I just think you

should be focusing

Well, I think it's important.

I mean, all we're getting in the

media is true crime documentaries

and detective dramas and dead

women, dead women, dead women.

Here's a situation

where a woman actually solves

another woman's m*rder.

Well, she didn't solve it

I played my part. Mm-hm.

He'd still be spinning that

Majorca yarn if it wasn't for me.

Exactly! I think

you're a role model.

Oh, I wouldn't go that far, but

maybe, yeah.

It's just the way she acts like she

knows everything about sobriety now.

Like I'm just some loser who's

not part of the cool g*ng.

KAREN LAUGHS

The cool g*ng of

recovering alcoholics (?)

How does she even

know about Jack?

Oh, wow! Wotcha think?

Bodice too tight? No, it's

I'm going for dominatrix.

I can see that, yeah.

Is that for Gav? Gav?

Your husband?

Oh, maybe.

Or just to broaden me

horizons. CHUCKLES.

SIGHS WISTFULLY Reach

for something new.

Oh, my God. I got

short-listed for that bursary.

Wow! Like, hundreds

of people applied.

Oh, well, everything's just

coming up roses for you, isn't it?

New boyfriend, new bursary

I haven't got it yet, I

have to do the interview,

but, God, it would be amazing.

Money, a residency

Mm. I should tell Alex.

Unless did you wanna

show me something else?

No, no. It's grand.

Don't think I can pull

off dominatrix, anyway.

You have to be pretty ferocious.

I just don't have it in me.

Hello, Tom.

Hey! What was that?

Ah, beggars coming

into the cafe.

Hazard of the job.

What are you doing here?

Great. I mean, it's

not really a big deal.

Nah - it's just a shortlist.

Anyone could do that.

THEY CHUCKLE

I think we have to

celebrate, though.

Get your family involved.

My family don't really do that.

It's

Well, maybe they're

gonna have to start.

That was all in

the fridge? Yeah.

Shiv's new fella's a foodie.

Standards have gone up.

GLASSES CLINK, TOM SIGHS

I've missed you, Mina.

I know.

Who's that?

Oh, that's just Finbar.

Bernie's new fella.

He's living in the house?

Ah, no, no! He's

not living there.

He's just been staying there.

For a while He's, er,

an academic or something.

He wrote a book.

Anyway

where were we?

MINA SIGHS

Could we go inside?

KNOCK AT DOOR

Dr Sheridan.

Hi, yeah, what?

Er, checking that

you're all right

to cover my elective

inpatients next week?

I'm, er, taking a

few days' leave.

Me and some of the lads

are walking the Camino.

OK. Great. Great. Yeah.

Er, Gary was saying that you

were talking about consultancy.

Yeah. Er, well, thinking

about it, anyway.

Right. Do you

think you're ready?

I dunno. Erm I mean, it's

Yeah, yeah. No, listen, you're

absolutely right to be cautious.

I mean, look, it's a big step.

You know, there's, er, more

responsibility, less freedom, and

there's always sacrifices.

But, look, if ever you

need some advice or,

you know, someone to talk to,

I'd be more than happy to.

I've to I, er,

I have to just

In a purely professional

capacity. Er

Thanks, Dr Sheridan.

PHONE RINGS Ugh.

Hello? 'Shiv, hi.

Are you at work?'

Oh, on my way. It's my half day.

Of course it is. Er, I was

thinking of popping in.

I'm just in town, so

I Oh, yeah. I mean,

I'll be working, but,

actually, I have some good

Hi.

Jesus! You haven't

been home all week.

Yeah, that's cos I have a

boyfriend, who you haven't even

I have some news. Oh.

I have some news, too, actually.

Think mine's probably

a bit bigger.

Yeah. Of course it is.

When has anyone in this family ever

given a f*ck about my achievements?

What achievements?

Oh, I'm sorry I'm not

Little Miss Perfect

What?

With my six A1's in

the leaving cert,

and my brilliant medical career

and my fabulous five-year plan

that'll no doubt work out

just f*cking perfectly

cos everything always does

for Little Miss Perfect,

Caroline, doesn't it?

f*ck you, Shiv!

What?

Caroline!

What's that? Guest lecturer.

His new exhibition

just got panned.

"An orgy of banality".

Jesus. Mm.

That's the nice

part. You know him?

No, no, no. Surprising.

Thought he'd slept

with every woman

within sniffing distance

of a gallery. Really?

Oh, yeah. Shelley Dearbhla.

It was Christmas.

Anyway, we're dropping

him next term.

Cos he got a bad review?

Because he's a mess. Last I heard,

he was practically homeless.

Homeless?

Ach, he's not homeless.

He's just been

living in his car

Anthony! Word.

Hey, Eddie, all good?

I want you to take

a look at something.

That was a compost bin.

I'm sorry.

Listen, Anthony

I've tried to be fair, do a favour

for your dead bro or whatever,

but you're f*cking pissing

all over my shoes here, man!

Laughing into a door-cam.

I wasn't laughing. I don't think

you leave me much choice here

Please don't fire me!

Look, I know it was

a shitty thing to do,

but so is treating

me like a paper boy.

My first month here,

I sold a house.

To your boyfriend. Yeah.

That fell through. Yeah,

but then I sold him a flat.

In fact, in my first quarter here,

I sold three flats and a mews.

You're not bringing in any

new business. Yes, I am!

I-I will be.

I'm actually working on

something now, actually.

Oh, yeah. What?

Well, I can't say till

I've locked it down, but

it's big.

It's a big fish?

Ooh, it's a f*cking

massive fish.

It's

massive.

Bloody cats!

Sorry.

WATER HITS WINDOW

No. This won't work.

No, it will work, I promise.

I'm very aroused.

I meant this.

What woman wants to date

a man who lives in a shed?

But it It's not a shed.

It is a shed, Tom!

Where is your dignity?

You're a grown man,

you work hard all your life,

and this is where

you're going to end up?

With your ex-wife and her lover

living in the house you paid for.

Well, no, it's not like that.

This it's only temporary.

Grow some ba*ls, Tom.

So, we're all set for

tonight. I've got steaks

'I was actually wondering

if we could cancel tonight.'

Well, you've already

cancelled twice.

It's just, I've had kind of a

stressy day. I don't feel

'Babe, babe, they've been

asking to meet you for months.

'It looks weird.'

Forget it. Sorry, er, how many

bottles of wine will I get?

'Actually, my folks aren't

really big drinkers.'

And I think we should

take it easy, too.

I want them to get

to know ya. Why?

Er No worries.

Erm, see you later.

PHONE RINGS Oh, wow!

Hello, Bernie Sheridan's phone.

Is my mom there? Tell

him I'll call him back.

'She's actually in the

middle of something.

'Can I get her to

call you back?'

Yeah, tell her don't bother.

Bit more of a smile

Smile?

HE SIGHS Just a little one.

HE MOUTHS

SHUTTER CLICKS

I know it's a sad story,

but no-one wants to see a

face like a flattened fanny

in the morning paper, do they?

Right, well what about the

wall? She's good sitting.

Let's sit you on the wall.

OK.

Shiv!

How do you find me? A friend

said you might be here.

JACK CHUCKLES

Well, come on in.

Grab a pew, here.

Do you want a tea? Sure.

Takes a few minutes

to get going, but, er

it's as good as a kettle.

So CLEARS THROA

this is where you're living?

Isn't it great? I get

all this for free.

And Stevie loves it, so

Won't they move you on?

Ah, yeah, they move

me on all the time.

I just find somewhere else.

Now, where did I leave that mug?

It's in here somewhere.

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

Cross your legs.

Really?! Yeah.

Now, head back and big smile!

I don't think I

She was m*rder*d.

And you're making sure

that people remember her.

Lovely!

Ah, great!

Gorgeous! Show us them pins!

Ah yeah, that's the ticket!

RAPID CLICKS

Oh, yeah!

Lovely!

So, I saw that review of your

Ah, f*ck.

Total stitch-up.

That reviewer was just pissed off

at me cos I didn't call her back.

You slept with the reviewer?

Years ago. Where's the

f*ck' professionalism?

JACK SCOFFS

Anyway, whatever about

the rest of my life,

my work's never

been better, so

Listen, Jack Did you

mean what you said to me?

At Caroline's engagement thing?

Oh, Jesus!

That night was

If you mean what I said about

you being a mediocre artist

I mean what you said about

being in love with me.

Cos EXHALES.

I had no idea.

I mean, maybe I had some

idea deep down, but

Anyway, I've been

thinking about that and

I've been thinking

about you, a lot.

I'm in a relationship.

It's serious.

The guy who collected you?

He's decent and

caring and committed.

Sounds boring.

He's good for me.

I don't think you were

I don't think you and I were

very good for each other.

No

Probably not.

But I I don't wanna be

And how I behaved at

the meeting wasn't

If you wanna come to meetings

or you need support right

now, you've every right.

We can be friend ly.

Or friends, or if you,

you know, want that?

Of course, I want that.

You're my best friend.

No-one else has come

up here to find me.

I need to be really clear

that what happened before

will never happen again.

That's over.

Understood.

You hungry? I've got beans.

LIVELY CHATTER, LAUGHTER

There he is. Mr Big Shot!

Hey, don't be embarrassing.

Here, come meet Ant.

WOMAN: Oh! Hey!

INAUDIBLE SPEECH AND LAUGHTER

So moving in together? Big step.

You told them Be careful.

Because once you do it, it's

very hard to extract yourself.

I have been trying for years.

Well, don't look at

me. It was his idea.

Well, no-one's forcing it, Ant.

Max has always been an old soul.

Even when he was a teenager.

14 going on 40. ANT LAUGHS

60 more like. DEE LAUGHS.

So, um, where are you

living now Anthony?

Just, erm, at home

with the family.

Ugh, poor you. Hey!

Thank you. Max said

yo use didn't drink.

I thought you'd be

total dry shites.

HE LAUGHS

I mean, my family are all teetotal,

we're basically all alcoholics.

Really? Your whole family?

Don't mind Dee. Always

wants to know everything.

Yes, she's studying

to be a therapist.

Thinks she is Dr Freud.

Eh, no, I don't actually

think I'm a patriarchal creep

who was perving on his patients,

but I do have an

interest in addictions.

Especially in families.

Well, Ant's family have

been through a lot,

So Have we?

I think so.

Oh, OK.

Show me a family that

doesn't have problems.

Mm. POLITE CHUCKLING.

My brother k*lled himself. So

Oh, I'm so sorry.

That's awful. No, it's grand.

Like, I mean, it totally

f*cked up my parents,

but I don't really remember

him, so That's not true.

What?

Am I not traumatised

enough for you? HE SCOFFS.

What? Where did that come from?

Well, Carl studied law, too.

Actually, he would have been

a perfect boyfriend for you.

Good looking lawyer,

total f*ck-up.

LAUGHS DRUNKENLY

All the boxes ticked! SNORTS.

Oh, though, he wasn't

q*eer, though, was he?

Although, who actually knows

because he did, like

GLASSES CLATTER ..top himself

before any of us could

actually find out.

So who knows?

WINE SLOSHES IN GLASS Thank you.

Hm?

You've got something

on your nose. Hm?

Thanks.

If you ever wanna talk

Nice to meet you,

Anthony. Yes, you too.

I'll call you tomorrow. Hm?

Take care, son.

EXHALES SHAKILY

You were doing coke

in the Jacks, Ant?

I was trying to sober up

MAX SIGHS I really

f*cked up, didn't I?

Do you want me to go? I think

we need to talk about this.

I'm not sure we're

ready for It's OK.

I'll go. Ant

I'll go.

Bernie.

Can I have a word

er, in private?

Now? Can it wait?

I've had a long day.

TOM SIGHS I 'spose.

Well, no, it can't

wait, actually.

Well, can we just finish this round?

We're kind of in the middle of

No, we can't just finish

this round, Finbar!

I wanna have a f*cking word

with me ex-f*cking-wife

in my own f*cking home.

Thank you very f*cking much.

Tom?!

Caroline! CAR DOOR SLAMS

Caroline, look, I'm really

sorry about earlier.

Are you OK?

SHARP WHISTLE Brought the party!

Booze-free Prosecco.

Doesn't matter.

The famous Caroline?

Ant? Big night, yeah?

I thought you were having

dinner with Max's parents.

ANT GROANS

Oh! Everyone's here. Great!

Cos Shiv's actually

got some good news.

We're getting a divorce,

and your father wants to sell

the house out from under us.

What's your good news?

It's over You're

lying on a cold shoulder

Let's do whatever

to forget her

She's leaving you, just

let her Cos you're better off

Oh, I don't wanna see

you Waste another day

Your heart break,

your heart break

I don't wanna see

you Waste another day

Your heart break

Your heart break

I don't wanna see you