02x07 - Blue Blue Whine

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

[knocking on door]

[sighs]

Oh, sh*t.

-What did I do?

-I knew I recognized the name on the box.

You didn’t do anything. That’s the old me.

-You’re not here to serve me?

-No.

You promise?

I’m just here to deliver a box.

-Okay.

-I’m sorry for lying to you.

I hated lying to people,

so I changed professions.

That’s-- Yeah, that’s water

under the bridge, man.

How’d the divorce go?

It-- It went-- Yeah, it’s going, so

-Oh. Okay.

-Is that for me, or--

Yeah. Uh, do you mind,

can I get a picture?

Sure, okay. Sure.

-I appreciate that.

-All right. Okay.

Oh, I see you’re gonna

take it now, all right.

-[laughs]

-All right.

[indistinct]

Yeah.

Hey, man, thank you.

Thank you, I appreciate that.

Yeah. No problem.

My sister, she would be pissed

'cause I didn’t get

a picture last time, so

Does she have a birthday coming up, or--

Yeah, next month.

-Find me on Cameo.

-Will do.

-Yeah. Okay.

-All right. Thank you.

-Yeah, thank you.

-Have a good one, brother.

[Jeremy] Okay.

[vacuum whirring]

[percussive jazz playing]

[debris rattling]

Hello! Don’t mind me.

Hello over there!

Good morning!

Can I help you?

-[screams] What?

-Oh, my God!

Jesus, Izzy, you scared

the sh*t out of me.

Well, what-- what are you doing?

Why are you cleaning

like you’re in trouble with the law?

I’m just cleaning

because Jeremy’s coming over

and I’m gonna pitch him

the eternal convention, okay?

Oh. Have you spoken to Seth?

No, I’m gonna speak to Jeremy first,

and then I’m gonna speak to Seth

to make sure Jeremy’s in first.

You’re trying to get back with Jeremy.

-[scoffs]

-Mm-hmm.

-Okay.

-Mm-hmm.

The cleaning, the planning.

This screams you trying to impress a guy,

and I just feel like maybe--

Why would I have been hanging out

with Michael then, huh?

Oh, Michael. I forgot.

So you guys are sleeping together?

-No.

-But you’re-- you're kissing.

You’re macking on?

Well, we kiss every day at work, so

You know what I mean.

Like a "kiss" kiss.

Just because you’re trying

to bonk Seth again

doesn’t actually mean

I’m trying to get back together

with Jeremy.

I’m not trying to bonk anyone, actually.

-No?

-No.

I’m trying to finish this spec shot list

so that I can send it to my showrunner

when I pitch for a director’s slot.

How have you already

not done that, bro?

Because I need a lot

of preparation before I do that.

It’s your show. Picking Daisy.

You’re Daisy. You’re good.

I-I have to prove that I know

what I’m talking about,

and that I’m learned,

and that I’ve got something to give.

Christ, mate,

you’re overthinking it, okay?

You don’t like asking for things.

That’s your biggest problem.

-[sighs]

-Last week

you drank a frothed milk

instead of the cortado

that you ordered.

-I actually quite like a frothed milk.

-Oh, come on.

Can you just sack up

and own your power, b*tch?

I’m serious, man.

These slots, they fill up fast.

You don’t want to miss the boat.

And please, Izzy,

if you’re gonna eat pita chips

in the living room,

could you put

a throw down on the couch?

Because your greasy little paws

get all over the couch covers,

and it costs a f*cking arm and a leg

to get them cleaned.

I’m gonna f*cking k*ll you.

-Excuse me?

-I said I’m gonna f*cking k*ll you.

My house, my rules.

[vacuum whirs]

-[yells]

-Oh, God! Okay, sorry!

[indistinct shouting]

[upbeat music plays]

[strains]

[grunting]

Oh!

[grunting]

Oh!

b*tch.

Ah!

f*ck!

Damn it.

[exhales]

[sighs]

[exhales]

I feel frustrated.

So, what are you doin' when you’re not

chasing actors down in a parking lot?

[clears throat] Well played, sir.

Um, I’m actually a creative director

for a health and wellness brand.

-Oh, cool.

-It’s called

MindBodyBlissfulness.com.

-I’m gonna forget that.

-Yeah.

-But I’ll ask you it later.

-No worries. I’ll text it to you.

-Oh, cool.

-You know, I joined

because it started off

as this great, like, newsletter,

daily meditations, all that stuff.

And it’s also an e-commerce,

so we sell everything

from crystals to tarot cards

to vitamins, and I-- I hate myself.

-Why, what’s--

-I’m pushing vitamins

on social media platforms.

It’s doing exactly the opposite

of what I wanted to do.

Well, aren’t vitamins good for people?

No, it’s all bullshit.

-The vitamin B?

-All of them.

Doesn’t do anything.

-D?

-No. Get more from d*ck.

[laughs] Wow.

Um, it’s actually very refreshing

to hear that from you.

Don’t you just feel like sometimes

society makes us believe

that if we follow a certain path

that it leads to happiness?

But what if it doesn’t?

I just feel like I’m at a crossroads

with all of my life choices.

I just felt like everything was stale.

I needed to shake things up.

And that’s why I-I moved to L.A.

with my sister for two months.

Well, I-I think that’s really smart

to embrace that.

I think most people can’t do that.

I feel like the world needs more Ambers

who are brave enough

to actually take a pause in life

and-- and think about forging a new path.

I think that takes a lot of guts.

Thank you.

-You’re welcome.

-Yeah.

So what have you been workin' on, man?

Oh, um, right now,

it’s kind of the, um,

anger management stuff.

-Just working through that.

-Oh. Yeah?

Punch any holes in the wall recently?

Uh, I did-- I did, yeah,

smash up a ring light.

-[laughs]

-No, but it’s actually--

It’s been really good.

I feel a lot of the stuff

that I’ve been learning with sobriety

has helped me

through that stuff, you know.

Finding solutions,

focusing on the solutions,

reaching out to my family,

communicating, you know?

Like that kind of stuff.

-I’m proud of you, man.

-Thank you.

Those tools are gonna come in handy

when you get that job.

-When you start back working.

-Yeah.

Well, hey, Jeremy,

the reason I asked you

to come out here today is, uh

I, um

I relapsed.

Oh.

-Um, are you--

-Yeah.

Are you okay?

Yeah, man. I f*cked up.

Sorry, man.

But it’s not that big of a deal, right?

Like, this kind of thing happens

all the time.

Isn’t that what they say?

Like, it takes a few goes.

No, no, no.

It’s a big f*cking deal.

-Oh.

-All right.

Sure, statistically speaking,

relapses are commonplace.

But when they happen,

you got to stop everything.

You gotta go back and figure out

what the hell went wrong

so it doesn’t happen again.

You gotta--

You gotta go all the way back?

Step one.

That seems a little bit excessive,

don’t you think?

Couldn’t you, like, start

from step six or seven?

No, man. Hey, there’s no half measures.

-Right.

-So, unfortunately,

what this means is,

I can’t be your sponsor anymore.

Okay. Um, that sucks.

What I do have for you

is a list of names and numbers.

Great guys who are gonna make

great sponsors.

[Jeremy sighs] I--

I like you, Tony. I like this.

-Oh, man.

-This is what I want for you, man.

I want you to get that job.

Somethin' steady at least, okay?

Mm.

And be of service.

It helps you to help others.

Remember that.

Be of service. Okay.

Hey, could I--

Could I help you?

Help me with?

Could I be your sponsor?

[laughs]

No, man. I've-- I’ve got my own sponsor.

It doesn’t work.

-Okay.

-Thank you, though, but

For sure.

-no.

-Cool.

[Seth] What about a cruise?

[Amber] I love boats, but no.

It’s like living on a giant petri dish.

-I’m just stuck.

-[laughs]

Maybe another 75 years.

Yeah, just wheel me on.

-Bumping walkers on there.

-[laughs]

I’ve always wanted to live on a boat.

My mom loved boats.

Well, that’s what my-- my dad tells me.

Oh, well, what happened to your mom?

Um, she passed away when I was seven.

-Oh, sh*t.

-Breast cancer.

-Yeah.

-[sighs]

f*ck. I’m sorry.

No, it’s okay, I was-- I was too young

to really remember,

but she had a really beautiful smile.

And whenever my dad

talks about her, he just--

He lights up.

Hmm.

He’s such a good dad.

I-I can’t even imagine

what it’s like being a single dad.

Like--

[scoffs] No way.

-No. It’s so hard.

-Mm.

What about you?

Any girlfriends currently?

Uh, no.

I’ve-- I've had a couple

of failed relationships.

Haven’t we all?

You know, it feels like

you should know more

about relationships when you get older,

but I’m starting to feel like

I know less.

-Ah, yes.

-[laughs] So,

I don’t want to rush and settle,

but, uh, I know the clock

is definitely ticking, so

Yeah, well, you don’t need

to say stuff like that.

It's, uh-- It just sounds

a little desperate,

and women can sniff that out a mile away.

[laughs]

Fair point. Touché.

Well, what about you?

What’s your dating situation?

Not really focused on that.

-Hmm.

-I feel like there’s a lot of things

I need to figure out for myself.

Well, do you plan on--

Should we go on a kayak ride?

[Seth] Uh, right now?

-You can swim, right?

-Yeah.

We’re good. We don’t need life vests.

Let’s try it. Come on.

I-I don’t know if we can just take those.

Oh, come on,

we’re just gonna borrow it.

Isn’t that like grand theft?

It’ll be a quick ride. Let’s go.

[laughs] Okay.

What if we get caught?

[Amber] It’s perfect.

-Everything’s here.

-[Seth] Uh-oh.

And just chuck it.

-One, two, three.

-Are you-- I don’t--

[cheerful music plays]

[doorbell rings]

[sighs]

-Hi!

-Hey, how are you?

-Good. How are you?

-Oh, good.

-You got here fast.

-Did I?

-Yeah.

-Oh.

Well, it’s a beautiful day. Come on in.

Alrighty, um

Okay, so, meeting open.

So here is what I have for you.

But before you get into it,

just know that this offer

includes first-class flights,

five-star accommodation

and double per diem.

What is that?

Well, I mean it’s--

You know what per diem is.

It’s just double.

It’s just very nice little pocket money.

This is Fantasy Con 7.

Wait this-- this is

an Eternal convention.

Well, I mean, so it’s not

an Eternal convention,

but it’s a convention

for all vampire-based shows.

-I-I know what Fang Fantasy is.

-Oh, you do?

Yeah, I tried to get us

to go to Fang Fantasy 6, remember?

This is gonna be huge. You realize that?

Like, this would be the first time

that all three of us

have gotten together in public

since the show ended.

It’s about time, right?

How did this happen?

Well, you know, I just--

I kind of got the wheels

in motion, and um--

And-- And it was-- You know what?

It was actually--

It was kind of a coincidence.

-Wait, so you--

-What?

You did this?

I-- Well, I mean,

I-I didn’t arrange it all,

but yeah, I-I just reached out to my reps

and just sort of mentioned

that, you know,

we-- we could be into it, so

Do we split this, or is this--

No, no, so everything in that folder--

See? "Jeremy." That one’s all for you.

Everything in there.

So that would be for each of us.

[laughs softly]

So are you in?

-Am I in?

-Mm-hmm.

I would do this for free.

-Yay!

-This is a dream come true.

I can’t believe

this is happening right now.

Thank you, thank you for this.

Don’t thank me.

I-- I’m just so glad

you’re excited about it.

[Jeremy] Oh, I mean,

I’ve always wanted to go to Orlando.

Yeah. Hi!

-Hey.

-Hi.

You, uh

You forgot this last night.

Oh, tha-- thank you.

Come-- Come in, come in.

I-I was-- I was just, um

running Jeremy through the--

the convention thing that--

Um, you know how we talked about it?

Oh, he-- he knows about this?

Yeah, Michael had some

really helpful insight

on the whole world because, you know,

I-I don’t know much about it, so

Super-helpful Michael.

[Andrea] No, that’s--

No, it’s just-- Whoa, hey! Hey!

Don’t even think about it, man!

Don’t even think about it!

-I was going for my journal.

-Your what?

My journal. It’s right there

on the coffee table.

Oh, man.

-[groans]

-Jesus, what the f*ck, man?

-[Michael] I thought he was--

-What are you doing?

I thought you were

comin' at me, man.

-I thought you were-- I thought--

-Comin' at you?

I don’t even know that karate move.

It’s not karate, it’s judo!

God! [sighs] This is--

-Oh, my God.

-I-I--

I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean

This is weird

that I’m even here right now.

-No, it’s not. It’s really--

-This is-- No, uh, listen,

I like-- I like you so much.

I like you so much.

This is my friend.

But I think you guys still have

some things to figure out.

And this is starting

to feel like a mistake.

So I’m gonna go.

I’m sorry.

[Michael] I’m sorry

for throwing you on the couch.

That was weird.

Goodbye.

[upbeat music playing]

[Isabella] You’re prepared.

You deserve this.

You’ve worked.

They’re not gonna be insulted.

No, they’re gonna be flattered.

They’re not gonna laugh at you.

You are--

You’re-- You’re good. You’re ready.

You are absolutely fine.

[automated voice] Call from Linda.

Picking Daisy AP, answer.

Hello. Um, hi. How’s it going?

[Linda over phone]

Hey, sorry to bother you.

Do you have a minute?

Uh, yeah. Abs--

Absolutely. Um, what’s up?

So we’ve narrowed down the candidate

for the new series regular role,

and we wanted to see

if you were still in touch with Seth?

Seth Stewart? Yeah. Yeah.

Did that end badly?

Uh, no, no, no, no.

Um, I mean, we-- We had

a falling out as people do,

but that wasn’t even

my last falling out, so

Umm, no, no, no, we’re good.

We’ve moved on.

So you’re single

and you’re friends with Seth.

Yeah. Um, yes.

But, I mean, it would be great

to work with Seth

because I think he’s very talented

and we’ve got great chemistry.

Oh, so you wanna

get back together with him.

[laughs]

No, no, no.

I-I-I didn’t say that. I--

Well, you didn’t have to.

[laughs nervously]

I’m f*cking with you!

-[both laugh]

-This is super.

We can have a lot of fun with this.

Okay, I’ll update when it’s a done deal.

-Take care, honey.

-Okay. Sorry, Linda, um,

if you’re not immediately busy

and you’re not, like, rushing

to another call,

I was just wondering and being

very mindful of the fact

that I don’t wanna waste your time.

I just wanted to see

if, um, you were potentially open

to chat about the possibility

of me directing

one episode next season?

You’re a star

You’re a star ♪

Don’t you know

You’re a star? ♪

[indistinct chattering]

Don’t you know

You’re a star? ♪

Don’t you know

You’re a star? ♪

Don’t you know

You’re a star? ♪

Good. You got it?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

[laughs]

Ah! No!

-Oh, my phone!

-[gasps] Oh, my God, here.

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, my God.

[laughing]

[grunts, sighs]

Jason’s calling. Who’s Jason?

Oh, well, that’s my agent.

Here you can use my pants to dry off.

-You sure-- You sure?

-I’m just joking, you little groper.

-Sorry.

-I’m just playing.

-Go for it. Go.

-Okay.

Here.

[laughs] Ah!

Hello?

Seth f*cking Stewart. I don’t believe it.

Well, kind of I do, but also, I don’t.

W-What’s goin' on?

I’m talking to the newest

cast member of Picking Daisy.

You did it, boy. Congrats!

f*ck me, are you serious?

[Jason laughs]

Series f*cking regular!

[grunts]

Oh, man, I hope you stocked up

on pomegranates and sweet potatoes

because your a*s is gonna be shirtless

for ten episodes of comedy gold!

Wait, wait, what?

I’m just kidding, man, all right?

Look, I’m just so proud of you.

You deserve it, all right?

I’m gonna circle up

with the lawyers, man.

We’ll come back to you.

I’ll give you all the details.

Yeah, okay, great.

Hey, thanks, Jason.

Oh, thank you, Seth Stewart.

We did it, man.

Hey, is that ex of yours still single?

Why?

’Cause your t*ts are gonna be

all up in her face.

What happened?

I booked it.

What? Yes! Yes!

-Oh, my God!

-I f*cking booked it!

-Oh, can’t do that. You’re wet.

-Sorry, sorry.

I mean, I’m a good-luck charm, right?

You are. Honestly, this is all you.

Thank you. Can I get that in writing?

Can I get ten percent?

Ten percent, I-I--

I don’t even know what to say.

-We have to celebrate.

-Let’s f*cking celebrate.

Let’s put these back.

[Andrea] You are not thinking straight,

and I get that,

I take responsibility for that.

This is a clusterfuck.

It doesn’t make any sense.

It doesn’t-- It doesn’t make any sense.

Look, just take a breath.

It’s me you’re talking to right now.

I’m not trying to f*ck with you.

-What are you writing?

-Don’t worry about it.

Oh, God. I just--

I need-- I need--

I need you to be clear with me, please?

Please.

Like, you want to be with me,

then you don’t wanna be with me,

and then you’re proud of me,

then I’m ridiculous, and then--

No, you’re not.

What’s going on?

What is going on right now?

I’m sorry, okay?

The last thing

that I wanted to do was this.

I don’t want to upset you.

I don't wanna give you mixed signals.

I feel like since the divorce

and-- and Dad dying,

you know, I’m--

I’m pretty spun out right now.

But I can’t stop asking myself

these what-if questions.

You know, like what-- what if I--

What if I spent more time with my dad?

What if I was better about helping you?

Did I abandon you when you needed me?

I know that my whole life

I’m very quick to react,

and I'm-- I’m starting to wonder

if that’s a pretty bad thing,

you know, because now I’m--

I feel pretty alone,

and I'm-- I’m thinking about you,

and-- and what if I made a mistake?

Were we too quick to divorce?

Do you really mean that?

[crying] I don’t know.

I’m really sorry. Um, I have to go.

-Don’t go.

-It's okay.

[Jeremy coughs]

-Oh!

-[Amber] Wow.

-Whoo!

-[Amber laughs]

-Smooth.

-There you go.

-Do not overflow.

-There you go.

To Picking Daisy.

[chuckles] To Picking Daisy.

[upbeat music plays]

That’s perfect.

That's nice.

So, you-- you have to tell me more

about this little trip

to Africa for a semester.

Like, were you gone

for a whole year?

That's right, I was, yeah.

I volunteered for a whole year.

And we were down in Tanzania.

-Wow.

-A little village called Obivolas.

And we spent the year

playing with the kids

and teaching them English and, um

Those kids must have thought

you were like a superhero.

-Nah.

-You were like an Avenger.

Just, like, came out of the sky.

-Thank you.

-I don’t know, like,

what the biggest

f*cking award is in the world,

but that’s what your dad deserves

for raising you.

I mean, your empathy for people

is so genuine and beautiful.

You’re an empath.

You’re a professional empath.

You also give back.

You provide entertainment

to people around the world,

and you, you know,

also provide a form of escapism,

which we all need.

And now you get to bless us

with your rock-hard abs.

[laughs]

Hopefully for ten episodes.

-I appreciate that.

-You’re really talented.

I’ve been wanting to do that all day.

-Whoo!

-Sorry.

Uh

Um, strawberry?

[electronic music playing]

[door closes]

-[Isabella] Hello!

-Oh, no.

Yeah, just in here.

[Isabella] I have got

some incredibly exciting news,

and it has taken everything

in me not to call you.

-Oh, what are you making?

-Uh, not sure.

I think I’ll just make some tea.

I’m not sure.

-Amazing.

-Boiling some water.

Well, I did it.

I sacked up, I called Linda.

And I pitched about directing.

And not only was Linda

super excited about it,

she’s given me episode three,

which is my favorite episode.

And before that, she rang to let me know

that they are offering

the series regular to Seth,

which means that I’m gonna be directing,

he’s gonna be on the show,

and I’m so excited!

How good’s that?

That’s amazing.

[exhales]

[crying] I’m so happy for you, man.

What’s wrong?

I f*cking blew it today with Jeremy.

No!

And he left, and he was so upset,

and I just left him in a state,

and it’s just the last thing

I wanted to do.

I’m so sick of being such a mess.

Oh, my God, come here!

I’m so sorry!

-Sorry I'm so crap.

-No, no, no.

You just gotta cry it out.

Hi, Tammy. Um, Jeremy Davis here.

Your friends just wanted me

to wish you a happy birthday.

Um, here it goes.

Happy birthday to you ♪

Happy birthday ♪

f*ck me.

Today.

[sighs]

Happy birthday ♪

[dramatic music plays]

[seagull squawking]

What are you doing?

Just saying good morning.

Can you-- I’m sorry, can you stop?

Yeah.

All right.

Is everything okay?

Well

I’m actually--

I’m separated

from my husband at the moment,

and I think after last night

it just made me realize

that I-I-I wanna try

and work things out with him.

-So

-Did you, um, mention this?

You know, you didn’t

mention this yesterday, no.

No, and I--

I mentioned that, um,

I am working through some stuff,

which I am.

-Right.

-I didn’t mention my husband,

and I totally own up to that.

Really sorry.

Oh, uh, you know,

you don’t have to say you’re sorry.

Well, yeah, maybe a little sorry

because the minor detail

would have been nice to know.

I mean, guys do this to girls

all the time, right?

-Do we?

-Well, yeah.

I mean, when a couple’s together

for a long time,

like my husband and I,

you know, before we had kids,

we just wanted to make sure

that we’re the right--

People for each other.

-Yeah, exactly.

-Yeah, yeah.

-See? You get it.

-I get it-- I get it.

Listen, now you know.

Uh, thank you for being

so cool about this.

No, it’s fine. Yeah.

I think you’re a really great guy.

Oh, thank you.

And I know you’re gonna find

your forever person.

-Think so?

-Yeah.

Cool, yeah.

All right, well, I’m all packed up,

and, um, checkout’s 11 a.m.

But if you need more time,

then just let me know

and I’ll-- I'll message the host.

Oh, okay.

-That’s nice of you. Thank you.

Okay. Yeah, of course.

And if you can just pull the sheets

and just start the dishwasher,

that would really help me out.

So you want me to strip the bed?

-Yes, please.

-And then, just--

okay, just, start the dishwasher?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, that’s easy. I got you.

Look, it was so nice meeting you,

and you’re gonna crush it.

-Oh, thank you.

-Yeah.

-Oh, yeah.

-See you on the silver screen.

-Okay, bye, Seth.

-Bye.

Bye!

[mellow music playing]

[keypad clacking]

[over cell phone] I am eternal ♪

[laughs]

Holy sh*t!

[laughing]

I’m Alexis. Can I have a photo?

-Um

-Can we do a photo?

Oh, my God, let’s do a photo.

No one’s gonna believe this.

Actually, I would prefer not to do one.

Excuse me, I-- Not right now.

Please, uh, your breath.

-Um

-Yes.

You smell like liquor.

You’re so cute.

What is this about?

-Um, I'm sorry. I'm--

-What’s this? What’s under here?

-Excuse me. Excuse me, ma’am.

-[laughing] Come on.

-I’m sorry, I’m--

-Come on, we’ll have fun.

-my space

-You’re a f*cking d*uche!

What’s your problem?

-[hesitates]

-You don’t like women?

I'm-- I’m waiting for a ride.

-Be Damian. Be Damian.

-Honestly, I’m begging.

Be Damian!

What the f*ck, man?

Be nice to your fans.

I watched every one

of your f*cking episodes.

All right, all right. I’ll leave you.

I’ll leave you to it.

Suck a vampire d*ck!

[funky electronic music playing]

But you got the magic ♪

You can take it from me ♪

You got the magic ♪

But you just don’t see it ♪

You got the magic

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic ♪

[exhales]

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic

You got the magic ♪

You got the magic ♪