About a century ago, the late Great Sir,
[Narrator: The late Houshang Latifpour]
One hundred tomans in the money of that time,
Placed in a silver tray,
And sent as a gift to the presence of "Mozaffaroddin Mirza."
[Mozaffaroddin Mirza, or Mozaffaroddin Shah Qajar,
the fifth king of Iran from the Qajar dynasty]
In return,
He received permission to seize a large garden,
And with the bricks and mud of the people, he built this mansion.
His son, Sir,
The Patriarch,
Who had taken the silver tray to the presence of the heir apparent,
Thinking that after his death,
No discord or division would arise among his children,
Built seven other mansions in the garden,
And divided them among them.
Dear Uncle Napoleon,
Who was the eldest son,
After Sir’s death,
Inherited both his mansion,
And his temperament,
And also the title of "Sir."
Dear Uncle,
Under the pretext of preserving the sacred family unity,
Interfered so much in the lives of his brothers and sisters,
That most of them,
Either built walls around their houses,
Or, through court orders, sold them and left.
Remained,
Our house, which was my mother’s inheritance, not my father’s property,
And Dear Uncle Colonel’s house,
Who had managed to put up,
A short iron fence around his courtyard.
Dear Uncle Napoleon,
Like the spirit of Great Sir,
Lived in the lordly mansion,
And from the large windows of this mansion,
Which was in fact the ruling seat of the garden,
Kept an eye on everything.
[Sound of a wall clock’s pendulum]
Dear Uncle,
Was fascinated by Napoleon Bonaparte, the Emperor of France!
He saw many similarities,
Between his own life and Napoleon’s life.
Like Napoleon, he had seven brothers and sisters.
Like Napoleon,
His childhood years,
Had passed in dreams of conquest.
At the age of young Napoleon,
He too had entered the military.
And finally,
Just like Napoleon,
Thirteen years after marriage,
He had divorced his wife!
The only thing his life lacked compared to Napoleon,
Was the irreconcilable enmity of the English.
This deficiency too,
He compensated for with his powerful imagination!
A few simple missions around Kazerun and Mamasani
[Names of two cities in Iran]
That were related,
To his service period in Colonel Liakhov’s Cossack regiment,
[Russian officer who bombarded the Constitutional Parliament]
In his imagination had turned,
Into wars with cannons and r*fles,
And with the military formations of Napoleon Bonaparte,
In Austerlitz,
[Famous Napoleon battle in 1805]
And Waterloo.
[Napoleon’s final defeat in 1815]
[Sound of horses’ hooves]
Dear Uncle Napoleon
♪ Sound of military march trumpet ♪
Based on the novel Dear Uncle Napoleon
Written by The late Iraj Pezeshkzad
Persian is one of the richest languages in the world, full of poetry, proverbs, and nuances drawn from Iran’s culture and history. In this translation, these elements have been preserved as faithfully as possible to maintain the spirit of the Persian text. For better understanding, explanatory notes have also been added to the subtitles so that non-Persian-speaking viewers can grasp the meaning and atmosphere of the text more accurately.
Dedicated to my spouse, Persian speakers, and lovers of the sweet Persian language.
Subtitles: Iman Soleimani zadeh
The subtitles of this series have been translated from Persian into a second language with the help of AI, so errors and misunderstandings are possible. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough experience or knowledge of other languages. Please kindly forgive any potential mistakes. :]
♪ Military march ♪
Screenwriter, Producer, and Director: The late Nasser Taghvai
♪ Chahargah Piece – Faramarz Payvar & Hossein Tehrani ♪
Did I wake you up?
No, I wasn’t asleep.
Why did you come here?
I came to tell you to come to our house this afternoon.
What’s the news?
I don’t know!
Babajoon said the kids should come to our house this afternoon.
If you feel like it, come a bit earlier.
[Sound of a wall clock]
On a hot summer day,
Exactly on the thirteenth of Mordad,
Around a quarter to three in the afternoon,
I fell in love!
I, who was Agha Jan’s son,
Fell in love with Leili, Dear Uncle Napoleon’s daughter.
Exactly as if Churchill’s son,
Fell in love with Hitler’s daughter!
Hello, Dear Shajoon.
You didn’t sleep again?
They came for me.
In the midday heat, where to?
Dear Uncle’s house.
Which Dear Uncle?
Dear Uncle, of course! Leili came to tell me.
You must have given a bouquet to the water again
[Idiom meaning causing trouble]
No, Dear Shajoon!
I don’t know what they want.
Leili said all the kids should gather there.
Eat a slice of watermelon and go.
Alright, I’ll be back.
Goodbye.
I didn’t understand what your brother,
Has to do with the kids.
Once a week,
He gathers the family kids to admonish them.
Is there a problem with that?
This brother of yours,
Takes out the frustration of the Liakhov Cossacks’ disobedience,
On the kids!
May I be your sacrifice,
Whatever he is, he’s the great Sir of the family.
His respect must be upheld.
For the motherless Cossacks too, I suppose,
He must have given a speech once a week at roll call!
A hundred mercies on Napoleon with all his quirks.
Babam Hey!
[Something akin to alas and alack]
Siamak!
Aren’t you coming to Dear Uncle’s house?!
It’s still early!
Should I go there to stand in the sun for what?!
You don’t know why Dear Uncle,
Has called the kids?
- What do I know!
Go ask Mash Ghasem!
[Mash is a prefix for someone from Mashhad,
also referring to a pilgrim of the eighth Shiite Imam]
Alright.
Babam Hey!
[Namoos is a frequently used word in Iranian culture,
which has no direct equivalent in the English dictionary.
Beyond its literal meaning of honor or dignity, it can colloquially refer to the women of the family]
["Without Namoos" refers to someone who not only disregards the status and inappropriate behavior of the women in their family but also has eyes for other women]
The "head of the father" of every without Namoos Nastaran!
[head of the father is a kind of insult]
Mash Ghasem!
Ouch! Our back is broken!
Babam Jan, you scared us!
[Babam Jan is a colloquial term similar to "my child"]
What’s my fault?!
You yourself keep pestering this Nastaran from morning to night!
It’s Sir’s fault that this Nastaran,
Is loved more than Miss Leili, who is his own daughter!
Ouch!
Babam Hey!
If Sir finds out we broke this branch,
He’ll ruin our entire lineage!
Did you see what dust fell on our heads?!
[Idiom meaning a calamity befell someone]
May God make it so Sir doesn’t catch a whiff.
[Idiom meaning not noticing]
Couldn’t you have not called us, Babam Jan?!
With all these branches and leaves, how would they know,
That you broke the Nastaran branch?
Sir planted this Nastaran with his own hands.
You still don’t know Sir.
May God make our fate turn out well.
May God Himself have mercy on us.
In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
Have you gone mad, Mash Ghasem?!
What do you want to do with it?
Don’t let anything slip from your mouth, Babam Jan,
In front of Sir!
No, don’t worry… be at ease!
Mash Ghasem!
Don’t you know what’s happening here today?
By God, Babam Jan, why lie!
[Walla is short for Wallah, meaning by God’s oath]
Until the grave, A A A A!
[Meaning since the path to death is short, why should I lie]
We don’t know, but Sir said,
All the kids should gather today.
You go quickly too… hurry… Sir will come out soon.
Hurry!
Go, Babam Jan… go!
Indeed, we belong to God, and to Him we shall return
[We are from God, and to Him we return]
Don’t you know what Dear Uncle wants with us?
[The kids are whispering]
I don’t know, it seems he wants to admonish me again.
My place is here!
- Go make yourself scarce, cheeky kid!
- Get lost!
Are you short on words?
- Shut up, Gambo! [Said to a fat person]
♪ Sound of military march ♪
Hello, Dear Uncle!
Dear Uncle, hello!
Hello, Uncle!
Hello, Dear Uncle!
Hello, Uncle!
Hello, Dear Uncle! Dear Uncle, hello!
Hello, Sir!
Hello, Dear Uncle!
♪ Sound of military march ♪
Sixteen years had passed of my age,
But I had neither fallen in love,
Nor seen a single person in love!
H-h-h-hello…
From recalling the fate of lovers,
That I had read about in books, I was terrified.
All of them had a tragic fate,
And the end of their love was death and demise.
I was afraid that I, too, for the sin of loving Leili,
Would be k*lled by Dear Uncle’s hands.
Ali!
Why has Dear Uncle called the kids?
- I don’t know, by God!
♪ Music ♪
Who blackened this wall with charcoal?
[Writing on the wall: Napoleon is a donkey]
I said, who dirtied this wall with charcoal?
[Sound of children’s laughter]
- Oh… oh!
- Ouch! See, it’s Siamak’s doing!
Grab his hand, you illegitimate child!
By God, it wasn’t me, Dear Uncle!
Ghasem, grab him!
No, by God, it wasn’t me, Dear Uncle!
[He’s crying]
Don’t be scared, Babam Jan!
- Let me go!
Don’t make Sir so angry!
- By God, it wasn’t me, Dear Uncle!
Don’t let him escape, Ghasem!
It’s all your fault!
You were the one who told Dear Uncle,
That I write things on the wall!
We didn’t say, Babam Jan!
Then I’ll say,
That you broke Dear Uncle’s Nastaran branch!
Let him go!
You broke it yourself!
Who broke the Nastaran branch?
Who broke the Nastaran branch?!
- By God, I’m not lying, Dear Uncle!
Come, I’ll show you, Dear Uncle!
- Who broke it!
[Sound of commotion]
I saw it myself, Dear Uncle!
By Saint Abbas, I saw it from behind the trees!
[Saint Abbas is the third Shiite Imam]
He hid it here, Dear Uncle!
Ghasem!
Sir, forgive us!
For God’s sake, forgive us, Sir!
Forgive us, we did wrong, Sir!
Shameless ungrateful!
[Sound of children’s commotion]
Ignorant!
- Babam Hey!
Fool!
Traitor!
- Forgive us, Sir, we did wrong
Mercenary!
Madman!
Idiot!
Impudent!
Ignorant… father-burned!
Traitor!
[Sound of children’s commotion]
- Mash Ghasem, escape!
What’s going on!
- What’s going on, Sir?!
Kids, step aside!
Stop him, he’ll k*ll him now!
[Sound of commotion and Mash Ghasem’s groans]
- Babam Hey!
What has he done that he’ll k*ll him?!
Sir, do you remember in what wars,
You saved our life?
Evil-eyed… worthless!
[Commotion, groans, and pleas from Mash Ghasem]
Saeed, what is it? What’s happened?
You claim you were part of my army?
He broke the Nastaran branch!
Babajoon is very angry!
I’m afraid he’ll k*ll Mash Ghasem!
Don’t be afraid, Leili!
What’s the matter? What’s happened?
[Commotion, groans, and pleas from Mash Ghasem]
Saeed!
What’s going on?
Mash Ghasem broke the Nastaran branch!
That’s it?!
Sir, my hand clings to your skirt!
[Idiom meaning begging and pleading for someone’s help]
Why are you crying?
May God give me death!
Mama, he hit me!
Who?!
Dear Uncle!
May God humiliate him. Which Dear Uncle?
Dear Uncle Napoleon!
Bite your tongue, child!
[Idiom meaning be quiet]
He did you right!
May you go mute!
Accursed dead!
Babam Hey!
What a pity for all the sacrifices,
That I made for you!
There’s no place for you in this house anymore!
Get lost!
Sir, you should either with Ajan,
[Ajan refers to a police officer, especially during the Pahlavi era]
Throw us out of this house,
Or carry out our corpse!
We won’t leave on our own feet!
Brother Khan!
The word **“Khan”**, which often follows male names,
is an **honorific title** used to show respect.
This time, forgive his sin!
He did wrong!
He didn’t understand!
Sir, you saved our life a hundred times!
Now you want to take our life?!
[He’s crying]
As long as we have life,
We must serve you in this house.
Who else would have done for us what you did?!
Once in the Kazerun w*r, we were shot,
Fallen between two rocks…
[Makes sh**ting sounds with his mouth]
b*ll*ts were raining from the sky like rain!
We had already recited our Shahada
[Idiom meaning preparing oneself for death]
Vulture birds were circling,
In the sky above our heads,
Waiting for when we would die!
Suddenly, bless him, Sir,
May God not diminish his greatness and nobility,
May God grant him honor,
In the midst of that hail of b*ll*ts,
He reached us!
Like a lion, he threw us on his back!
Carried us the distance of a journey,
Until he brought us to our own trench!
Do you think such things are forgotten from our memory?
If Sir wasn’t there,
We, like poor Sultan Ali Khan,
Would have rotted a hundred shrouds by now!
Poor thing!
Poor Sultan Ali Khan!
Ghasem, we wanted to do something for him too,
But it wasn’t his fate!
May God have mercy on him.
Brother Khan!
May I make a request of your presence?
Tomorrow night, deign to trouble your steps,
[Idiom meaning to endure the effort of going somewhere]
Honor us.
Tomorrow night?
Yes, Dear Uncle!
We want to be together.
You see, Pouri Joon got his bachelor’s degree!
Well done, boy! Well done!
We will definitely come.
Ghasem!
Yes, Sir!
The kids dirtied this wall.
Clean it up quickly.
Yes, Sir!
It passed safely, Mash Ghasem!
May God grant Sir honor.
You must come too.
It’ll be a good night.
Alright!
Let’s go.
May I be your sacrifice, sister.
May I be your sacrifice.
Saeed!
[Commotion of kids]
Dear Leili!
You must come too!
After this incident, Dear Uncle officially accepted,
That Mash Ghasem was with him in the wars!
Thus, Mash Ghasem,
Whose greatest life event,
In Ghias Abad,
[Name of a place]
Was fighting with a few stray dogs,
Joined the ranks of the brave warriors of the Kazerun w*r!
♪ Traditional music ♪
Saeed!
What is it, Dear Shajoon?
May I be your sacrifice, mother!
Your Agha Jan said tonight,
We should send dinner for Mash Ghasem.
For Mash Ghasem?!
Yes. The tongue-tied one might be too shy,
[Idiom referring to an innocent or oppressed person]
He should go to your Dear Uncle’s house tonight.
Watch out, mother.
It’s hot, don’t burn yourself!
No!
♪ Traditional music ♪
O Ali…
[Seeking aid from the first Shiite Imam, Ali]
Mash Ghasem, how are you?
Don’t ask, Babam Jan!
What’s this you brought?
I brought you dinner.
It’s hot!
My Dear Shajoon sent it for you!
May God keep you for her, Babam Jan,
For thinking of us!
Are you preparing your lessons?
You’re doing well!
There’s not much time left until the schools reopen!
It’s not lessons!
It’s a storybook!
Instead of these books, you should learn to read the Quran,
Babam Jan!
To be honest, Mash Ghasem…
I came to ask you something.
Speak, Babam Jan!
I have a classmate,
Who thinks he’s fallen in love!
What?!
I don’t know how to say it!
He’s not sure!
He’s too shy to ask anyone.
He’s fallen in love?!
You mean he’s become infatuated?!
Your classmate?!
Mash Ghasem!
Do you know how a person realizes,
That they’ve fallen in love?
By God, Babam Jan, why lie!
Until the grave, A A A A!
We ourselves became infatuated!
No, no, no, no, we didn’t!
We didn’t!
I mean, why did we!
In short, we know what a calamity it is!
No, no, no, Babam Jan! No!
We ourselves became infatuated,
But you didn’t!
Grown adults don’t survive it,
Let alone your classmate!
But Mash Ghasem!
This classmate of mine,
Who thinks he’s fallen in love,
First wants to know if he’s really in love or not!
Then, if he sees he’s in love,
He wants to somehow cure his pain!
Babam Jan, is infatuation,
That easy?!
He’ll perish, fatherless!
[Fatherless, meaning orphan, is a colloquial term
sometimes used for a wretched person]
You still didn’t say how a person,
Realizes they’ve fallen in love.
By God, Babam Jan, why lie!
When you don’t see her,
It’s as if ice freezes in your heart!
When you see her,
It’s as if in your heart,
They’ve lit a baker’s oven!
I mean, that’s how it was for the one we saw!
All the wealth and possessions of the world,
You want for her!
In short, you have no peace,
Unless they eat sweets for that girl for you.
[In Iranian culture, eating sweets means
formalizing an engagement]
But if she got married and left,
Then woe is me!!!
[Colloquial idiom to show a disastrous situation]
There was someone in our town who became infatuated.
♪ Segah – Gholamhossein Banan ♪
One day, that girl,
Was betrothed to someone else.
The next morning, our townsman,
Took the path to the wilderness and left.
Now twenty years have passed,
And still, no one knows what happened!
Where he went!
As if he turned to smoke,
And went with the sky!
[He sighs]
[He gives a cold laugh]
I should probably get going now.
Are you coming tomorrow night?
It’s the Colonel’s party.
They’ve brought lots of tables and chairs.
A party for Dear Pouri’s acceptance!
Oh, God…
By the way, Mash Ghasem!
Don’t let Dear Uncle find out,
That I asked you about love and infatuation!
Us tell Sir something?!
Are we tired of living?!
If Sir hears talk of love and infatuation,
He’ll raise hell!
[Idiom meaning causing a commotion and uproar]
Balaa Nesbat[With all due respect], he’ll k*ll someone!
[Idiom used to exclude the person being addressed from the described situation]
God forbid someone falls in love with Miss Leili!
By God, Sir would reap his ancestors and descendants!
♪ Sound of military march ♪
What happened, Babam Jan?!
Nothing.
My head spun.
Get up, come on… Ali!
♪ Iranian music ♪
Shahpour or Pouri, nicknamed the great genius,
Son of Dear Uncle Colonel,
Was the only person in our family who became a bachelor.
[Obtained a bachelor’s degree]
Dear Uncle Colonel was the kind of person,
Who loved to throw parties for any occasion.
Dear Uncle Colonel wasn’t actually a colonel.
He was a major, which back then they called "Yaavar."
[Sound of group laughter]
To your health!
- To your health!
To the health of you, Pouri, and the lady!
One night at a party,
By the implicit decree of Dear Uncle Napoleon,
Who had called him Brother Colonel,
Gradually everyone got used to,
Calling him Mr. Colonel.
He and his wife,
Had raised Pouri as their precious darling.
In my opinion, Pouri wasn’t a smart kid!
He just studied like a donkey!
[In Iranian colloquial culture, using the word "donkey" with verbs like working or studying indicates the intensity of the effort]
He memorized the lessons without missing a single "V",
[Idiom meaning memorizing with extreme precision]
And got good grades.
Until the age of eighteen,
His mother held his hand,
And crossed him over the street!
Hello, lady! Have you seen Aziz?
You naughty thing!
Don’t tell me you put her head under water?!
[Idiom meaning to k*ll someone]
It’s a nice night… isn’t it?
On nights like this, I’m in great spirits!
You get to see the whole family.
Especially me!
Go away, you tasteless joker!
Mr. Dustali Khan,
Was distantly related to our family,
And his eyes were notorious among women for impurity.
No one was better than Prince Asadollah Mirza,
Whose absence was felt at the party,
At handling him.
His wife, Mrs Aziz al-Saltaneh,
Was a close relative of ours.
Mrs Aziz al-Saltaneh,
Had another husband before Dustali Khan,
Who apparently had gone missing!
Perhaps for the sake of Ghamar’s wealth,
Mr. Dustali Khan,
Endured living with Mrs Aziz al-Saltaneh!
He endured it!
Dear Mrs Aziz, from her late husband,
Had inherited a chubby, wild, gluttonous daughter,
Named Ghamar,
Who had not yet reached the legal age.
Say, how about we tease,
Dr. Naser Al-hokama a bit!
Have some fun with him!
There he is!
That’s the guy!
- Go!
Prince Shamsali Mirza,
The elder brother of Asadollah Mirza,
Was an interrogator in the judiciary,
[Investigator or interrogator in Iran’s old judicial system]
And until two years ago, for an unknown reason,
Was put on standby, having been the head of the Hamedan judiciary.
[Removed from his post,
but not yet officially fired or retired]
Due to his profession,
He considered trial and interrogation,
The key to solving all the world’s problems!
Miss Farrokh Lagha,
Miss Farrokh Lagha,
Was an ill-fated sour woman,
[Sour, is a colloquial idiom meaning
a girl who has passed the age of her marriage and has not married]
Who once was supposed to,
Become Mr. Dustali Khan’s wife.
Poor thing, whenever she entered through a door,
An ominous news entered that house!
Sir!
Sir has arrived!
Hello, Brother Khan!
You’ve shown great kindness!
- Hello!
You’ve done us a favor!
Thank you!
How are you, Dear Pouri?
Hello!
Hello. Congratulations, buddy… Well done!
- Thanks!
Wow! What a girl!
May I be your sacrifice!
May I be sacrificed for your moon-like face!
You’ll become a bride, kid!
- Wow… wow… Naser Al-hokama!
Let’s go to Brother Khan.
- She’s very lovely!
- Oh! Shamsali Mirza is here too!
Leili!
Leili!
Why are you standing here?
I was waiting for you! Why were you late?
- Well! Candle, flower, moth, and nightingale are all gathered!
[Commotion of guests]
- Please, come in!
I want to bring you a nice four and two!
Look! Aha!
Pour!
Four and two!
[Sound of laughter]
Looks like you need to close your house!
Yes… that’s the custom!
What business do you have with the battle of the brave!
[A verse from the Shahnameh]
Pour, Sir!
Now you pay attention,
How they hold the dice!
Pour, Sir! Pour!
You need to come to me,
To learn how to roll dice!
I need to teach you first,
How to hold the dice in your hand!
Look!
Five and three.
It was five and two!
Come on… it was five and three!
- It was five and two!
Look for yourself, it was five and three!
- It was five and two, five and two.
It was five and two, Sir!
We didn’t have any cheating!
- Why did you collect them?
Why did you collect them? It was five and two!
Babajoon, what…
What do you mean, it was five and two!
It was five and three!
It was five and two… five and two!
[Commotion and argument]
By God, it was five and three!
I’m not trying to cheat!
You wanted to cheat, but it didn’t work!
[They laugh]
Seven!
Here’s another five and three,
So justice reaches the rightful!
Agha Jan, you tell us!
Was it five and two or five and three?
Sir, you’re the witness,
Was it five and two or five and three?
By God, what can I say!
If you have a conscience, tell the truth!
If I haven’t made a mistake, it was five and two!
It was five and two… there you go!
Didn’t I say?
Go away, Dear Leili!
Get up and bring a few walnuts,
For Babajoon to play with!
He doesn’t know what dice are!
If dice are not heard well, everyone is a gambler!
[Gambler means someone who plays backgammon]
[It means your success is by chance]
Ouch!
You don’t know how to play!
They’ve started fighting again!
You don’t know how to play, so why waste my time!
Moment, Moment!
Hands up!
[Group laughter]
Welcome!
- Asadollah!
You scared us!
I said you’d probably forget to bring it for me again!
I wanted instead of a g*n,
To bring you a very beautiful girl!
Brother Khan!
Let’s go to Uncle Asadollah.
- With permission.
Take a look at him.
Take it.
Look at me, blindy!
[In Iranian culture, depending on the context,
such expressions are affectionate and carry no negative connotation]
Again, you barge in like this,
Crashing into people’s homes!
- Wow!
My dear Mrs Aziz al-Saltaneh!
Where’s that donkey Dustali?
Let your sweat dry, you tasteless joker,
[Meaning wait a bit after arriving before starting]
I’ll tell you later!
Tasteless joker!
Candle, flower, moth, and nightingale are all gathered!
[Said by someone joining a group of friends]
- He’s such a dull person, and so tasteless!
- How can you say that?
Hello, Dear Saeed!
- What a splendid man!
Leili has become such a lady! Let me take a look!
[Sound of a scream]
Make sure there’s no b*llet in it!
Oh, I’m scared!
For God’s sake, tell Sir not to play with the g*n!
Don’t be afraid, Miss Farrokh Lagha!
We grew up with g*ns!
You naughty thing!
Uncle Asadollah makes such jokes!
Shazdeh Asadollah Mirza,
[Shazdeh” means “prince,” which I have chosen to leave untranslated]
The younger brother of Shamsali Mirza,
And a member of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs,
Had just returned from a mission in the Caucasus.
[The Caucasus is a mountainous region
between the Black Sea and the Caspian Sea]
For Shazdeh, nothing in the world was serious.
Not even the hateful looks of husbands,
When he teased their wives!
So, how’s my Dear Aziz doing?
You eat!
You eat!
Why, even at a joyful gathering,
Have you worn mourning clothes, Farrokh Lagha!?
None of your business!
She’s looking more and more like an owl every day!
Dustali, you’ve made this poor woman,
Wear black for the rest of her life!
Go for a San Francisco, bro!
[Shazdeh’s catchphrase referring to sex]
Agha jan,
He wasn’t from a landed or aristocratic family.
He was a licensed pharmacist,
whom the pharmacy customers called “doctor.”
Uncle Napoleon,
considered his sister’s marriage to a non-aristocratic merchant,
the greatest tragedy in history!
Of course, that wasn’t very important.
The real reason for the dispute between these two,
was Napoleon Bonaparte, Emperor of France.
Contrary to Uncle’s opinion,
sir considered Napoleon merely an adventurer,
who had brought Europe to blood and ruin.
Why are you eating so much, girl?
You’ll get sick!
Aziz Khanum!
Take care of this girl, please!
Asadollah brought you a nice souvenir, bro.
I had a g*n just like this one myself.
I remember one time,
During the heat of the Mamasani w*r…
No, Sir, no… it was the Kazerun w*r… yes!
I’m saying it was during the Mamasani w*r!
Why are you talking nonsense!
By God, Sir, why lie!
As far as we remember,
It was the Kazerun w*r!
Honest man!
One day during the heat of the Mamasani w*r!
We were trapped in a valley during the w*r.
Mountains on both sides and around it,
Were held by armed bandits.
It was a valley, in width,
Three or four times the size of this room, where,
It was me,
And forty or fifty riflemen…
With your servant Ghasem!
Yes!
This Ghasem, as they called him back then,
Was my Masdar.
[Masdar means an appointed servant]
Didn’t we say, Sir, it was the Kazerun w*r?!
It was the Mamasani w*r!
It was me and forty or fifty riflemen!
Now, these riflemen,
What a wretched state they were in, let that be!
As Napoleon said,
One commander with a hundred well-fed soldiers,
Can fight better,
Than with a thousand hungry soldiers!
That’s right!
While we were under siege,
All of a sudden, a rain of b*ll*ts started!
[Makes the sound of g*nf*re]
The first thing I did,
Was throw myself off the horse.
Then I reached out,
Grabbed the waist of I don’t know who…
It seems it was Ghasem or someone else…
I grabbed and pulled him down!
It was us, Sir!
If it’s not too bold,
We say it was the Kazerun w*r!
Whatever hell it was!
Will you let me tell my story or not!?
Very well, Sir!
We don’t understand anything at all.
We’ve gone completely mute!
This fool,
I wish my hand had been broken,
And I hadn’t saved him,
I pulled him down from the horse.
Now, what’s the situation,
God knows!
Several of my men had been shot.
I ordered the rest,
To take position behind the boulders.
From the way the enemy attacked and shot,
I immediately realized,
That we were facing the g*ng of the rebel Khodadad Khan!
The same Khodadad Khan, the notorious rebel,
Old servant of the English!
Didn’t we say, Sir, it was the Kazerun w*r!?
Shut up!
[Group laughter]
I said we must, by any means,
Tear off Khodadad Khan’s trick.
[The idiom tearing off someone’s trick
means k*lling that person]
These villains,
As long as their leader is alive, they’re bold!
As soon as their leader is k*lled,
They flee!
Crawling, crawling,
I reached the top of that mountain!
Up there!
I had a fur hat on my head!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
I took the hat off my head,
Put it on the tip of the bayonet,
And raised the r*fle.
Didn’t we say, Sir!?
In the Mamasani w*r, you didn’t have a fur hat!
In the Kazerun w*r, when you were galloping on the horse,
You lost your fur hat!
No, no… I mean, it was shot!
In the Mamasani w*r, you didn’t have a fur hat at all!
It seems Ghasem is right!
W-W-W-Well, there you go!
It was indeed the Kazerun w*r!
I mean,
It was the early days of the Kazerun w*r.
Yes… there you go… there you go!
The only thought in my head was,
To sh**t Khodadad Khan.
As soon as I put the fur hat on the bayonet,
And raised the r*fle,
Khodadad Khan, who was a top-notch sh**ter,
Poked his head out from behind the boulders.
Now it’s just me and him!
I remembered the Master of the Pious and held my breath.
[Refers to Imam Ali [peace be upon him], the first Shiite Imam]
I was searching for Khodadad Khan’s forehead.
I had seen his face from afar once.
Eyes like bowls of blood!
Thick eyebrows!
I aimed between his two eyebrows and…
[In the book’s text, it is said a sound like
a chair leg being dragged on stone
was mistaken by Dear Uncle for a fart]
[Ghamar starts laughing]
[The guests start laughing]
Shut up!
You rootless scoundrel!
Raising the heads of the vile,
And expecting goodness from them!
[Implying elevating unworthy people to power
and expecting good from them]
It is to lose the thread of one’s own affairs,
It is to nurture a snake in one’s pocket!
[Implying losing control due to trusting
the unworthy and creating enemies for oneself]
[Sound of commotion]
Ghasem!
[Sound of commotion]
Brother Khan! Where’s Brother Khan!
Leili… home!
Brother Khan… you’re mistaken!
Brother Khan, please come back!
Where!
It’s a misunderstanding, please come back!
Why did you get upset!
- Brother Khan… stay with us!
Brother Khan! Please!
Alright, come on… he’s not going!
- Come back!
What’s that? What happened? What’s going on? Huh?
Let’s go home!
Oh!
Why aren’t you talking?
What’s happened?
Tell me what’s going on? What’s the matter?
- I won’t leave any honor for these people!
He accuses me?
- Oh, God strike me dead… quieter!
It’s shameful!
Come, woman!
Wait a minute!
Be forgiving now!
What’s happened!
Ladies and gentlemen, ladies!
Please… please!
It’s not a big deal.
It’s a misunderstanding!
Ladies and gentlemen!
Now whoever it was, tell the truth!
Who was it in the middle of Sir’s talk,
That let out a shot?
[Group laughter]
Whatever it is, he’s our elder brother.
May I die for you.
You be forgiving.
I’ll show him a Kazeruni w*r that he’ll enjoy!
Poetry for me,
“Raising the heads of the vile” he recites!?
I’ll make a Napoleonic,
That seven Napoleons come out of his side!
The turmoil and agitation of the start of love,
Had not yet subsided in my heart,
When the fear of w*r,
Cast a shadow over the large garden of the house.
That night,
In the maddening silence of the garden,
Everyone, even the flowers and trees,
Were awaiting a w*r,
More ruthless than the first world w*r!
The w*r of Agha Jan and Dear Uncle Napoleon!
♪ Traditional music ♪
In those years, there was still no piped water.
Once a month, the Mir-Ab Bashi,
[Guardian and distributor of water in the past]
Would divert water to our house,
And through the channels in the garden,
We would fill the pools and water reservoirs.
The water from the first alley
would flow into the pool in Uncle Napoleon's courtyard,
and from there, it would reach our house.
Mash Ghasem, on Dear Uncle’s orders, at the water channel,
Built a dam where it entered our house,
And he, like a brave officer,
Stood guard.
♪ Traditional music ♪
Cutting off our house’s water,
Was equivalent to cutting off Dear Uncle Colonel’s water.
Because the water went from our house to their reservoir.
In this dispute,
Poor Dear Uncle Colonel,
Whose garden’s flowers and trees,
Were being sacrificed to the conflict between Agha Jan and Dear Uncle.
♪ Traditional music ♪
Mash Ghasem, where are the kids?
Didn’t they come to the garden today?
By God, Babam Jan, why lie!
Truth is, we’re not supposed to talk to you!
Why?!
Don’t you see?
We’re a Gharavol.
[Gharavol means sentinel]
Mash Ghasem!
Leili didn’t come either?
By God, we don’t know anything.
But it could be that Sir told Miss Leili,
That she doesn’t have the right to step out of the house.
Why, Mash Ghasem?
Weren’t you at Mr. Colonel’s house last night?
Babam Jan, didn’t you see what happened?
Did Dear Uncle get very angry?
By God, Babam Jan, why lie!
Since morning until now,
We haven’t seen Sir with our own eyes,
But we heard his voice from the room with our own ears.
Like a wounded lion!
I mean, Babam Jan, Sir is right!
When the talk is about the Kazerun w*r,
And it turns out like that?!
Now, if it was the Mamasani w*r, that’s one thing!
But when the talk is about the Kazerun w*r,
It’s not a joking matter!
We ourselves, with our own eyes,
Saw what Sir did!
This peace and safety that’s now in the province,
Is thanks to Sir!
May God keep him alive.
When he rode his Kahar horse,
[Kahar refers to a horse with a reddish-brown or copper-brown color]
And galloped in the b*ttlefield with a sword in hand,
As if a male lion was coming!
We ourselves, who were from our own army,
We became zahre tarak!
[In colloquial language, they say zahle tarak, and it is an idiom meaning
intense and sudden fear resulting from a tangible event]
Let alone the enemy!
Now, Mash Ghasem!
Do you think that sound last night…
Yes, Babam Jan!
It was him!
No lie at all!
Till the grave, A A A A!
We didn’t hear it with our own ears.
I mean, we did hear!
But our attention was on Sir’s words,
And shots and r*fles!
We’ve heard these sounds plenty before!
It’s a sound that, even amidst cannons and shots and r*fles,
Reaches the ears!
But this time, Sir heard it with his own ears!
I mean, truth is, when we were returning home with Sir,
This Pouri Sir also caused a lot of mischief and trouble!
Did Pouri come to Dear Uncle’s house too?
Yes, Babam Jan! He came to the door!
You mean, you came too!
And he kept whispering in Sir’s ear,
That Sir had been disrespected!
But why, Mash Ghasem?!
What does Pouri gain,
From a fight and quarrel between Dear Uncle and Agha Jan?
Honestly, Babam Jan, if you’re asking us,
This Pouri Sir loves Miss Leili!
He even sent his mother once,
To propose to Miss Leili!
And last night, when you were playing with Miss Leili,
He was very jealous.
He don’ know anymore that Miss Leili,
She’s thirteen or fourteen years old, she kan get married,
[Mistakenly says "kan" instead of "can" because of his/her accent]
But Babam Jan!
You, who are fourteen or fifteen years old,
You kan’t get married!
Mash Ghasem!
In all the love stories I had read,
There was one lover, one beloved, and one rival!
It was strange that I had never,
Thought of a rival!
Now I was gradually understanding,
Why from the very first day,
I was afraid of love without reason!
Mash Ghasem!
Hum!
Last night, did you block our water?
Honestly, Mr. Colonel, that’s how it happened!
How did it happen?
What does “that’s how it happened” mean?
Honestly, why lie! We don’ know nothin’!
What does “we don’t know” mean?
You blocked the water and now you don’ know?
When did we block your water?
We blocked the water of your sister’s husband!
The water’s gotta come from Mr. Doctor’s house to ours!
Don’t come forward, Mr. Colonel, don’t come forward!
Sure, you’re a colonel,
But we’re a gharavol here too!
Sir gave orders like this!
Even if our jugular vein gets cut,
We won’t let the water go from this side to that!
You mean to say,
Sir told you to cut off our water?
This mornin’ Sir himself said,
Ghasem, you stand here,
Don’t let anyone touch this dam!
Whoever comes, you hit ’em in the head with this shovel!
Go! Don't stand there! Uh…
I wanna slap him right in the face.
In whose face?
Mr. Colonel!?
No, in Pouri’s face!
With that long face of his!
Sure, Pouri Sir is a bit foolish,
But he’s water under the straw!
[Idiomatically, water under the straw refers to a cunning and deceitful person]
Mash Ghasem!
In your opinion, will Leili become Pouri’s wife?
Honestly, Babam Jan!
Miss Leili is a Dame bakht-girl.
[Dame bakht refers to a girl whose time for marrying has arrived]
Pouri Sir, even if,
Is a bit mama’s boy and foolish!
But he’s finished his studies.
Cousin girl and cousin boy,
Their marriage was bound in the heavens!
[A traditional Iranian custom where
cousin boy and cousin girl are intended for each other]
Can you tell Leili to come to the garden for a bit?
Mercy on us with you kids!
If Sir finds out,
We took your message to Miss Leili,
He’ll roast us all alive!
Alright, then let it be for now.
Fine, another day then.
From the very first day,
I was against his marriage to our sister.
It was your fault.
Brother Khan, don’t make the matter so big.
This w*r and quarrel is all the result of a misunderstanding.
Why don’t you say indigestion!
A sound comes up in the middle of my talk?
I’ll burn the father of that father-burned!
[Father-burned is a colloquial term
for wicked and vile people]
I’ll make him flee from this city.
What a pity for our dear sister,
Who became the wife of this vile man!
You are our master.
You are our elder.
Come, with your greatness, forgive him.
It’s not good for people to know,
You cut off the water to your own family!
There’s not a drop of water in our reservoir.
Our trees are dying of thirst.
Hurry up and get out of here!
- You’ve had a dispute with your sister’s husband,
Babam Jan said if I talk to you
- Why do you cut off our water?
He’ll set the whole house on fire!
Leili… Leili!
- Maybe it’s your sister’s husband,
Do you know what Mash Ghasem was sayin’?
- But my sister’s husband, never!
Saeed, get out of here!
- Go tell our sister to get a divorce…
Mash Ghasem was sayin’,
Pouri wants to send his mother to propose!
Propose for me?!
- Don’t shame me.
Mash Ghasem was sayin’!
Mash Ghasem said Pouri loves you.
- Please,
Well, if it’s true, what’ll you do?
Me?! Me?!
- Go tell him Sir said,
- He should come here himself and apologize to me!
[Leili cries]
♪ Sad music ♪
When Leili cried,
I finally realized what a foolish thing I’d done!
Before I confessed my own love to her,
I’d become a tool for the rival’s love,
To reach the beloved’s ears!
With this mistake, I understood that love,
Sometimes makes a person foolish.
Everyone knows that sound wasn’t from you.
But Brother Khan’s bein’ stubborn!
He's just stubborn!
Now you be the bigger person,
Go on tiptoe and apologize to them,
[The idiom tiptoe means to go somewhere briefly]
So maybe these disputes will end.
Me apologize?!
He insulted me,
And I should apologize to him?!
What Sir did,
Reminds a person of the Karbala desert!
[Refers to the event of the noon of Ashura and cutting off water
to Imam Hussein and his companions]
Is he Shimr, cutting off water to the people!?
Huh?
Everyone knows I came,
To beg you to make peace.
Tell him if he insists on cutting off the water,
By the force of the court and the police,
I’ll put his right in the palm of his hand!
[The idiom putting his right in the palm of his hand
means making someone face the consequences of their actions]
The Adlieh [court]?
The Nazmieh [police]?
Oh, what a calamity!
Two whole days passed,
That I hadn’t seen Leili.
Comings and goings and diplomatic talks,
For a peaceful resolution of the dispute and ending the water shortage,
Had become so numerous,
That I had forgotten my own grief and pain.
Not even a drop of water,
Remained in Dear Uncle Colonel’s reservoir.
- Shazdeh has arrived.
Agha Jan didn’t make the slightest protest.
By his order,
Water in our house was rationed,
And for this reason,
We still had a little water stored in the reservoir.
Everyone’s hopes,
Were pinned on Dear Uncle Colonel’s efforts,
Were fixed.
His fate in the water crisis,
Was entirely tied to our fate.
- Please close that door.
Go to the kids.
- Please.
- Come in… What’s with the please!
Come in!
- Ladies, gentlemen!
From this situation that’s arisen,
The late Mr. Elder’s soul is trembling in his grave.
[Idiomatically, it means his soul is in torment]
I did everything I could,
To preserve the unity of this old family,
I tried hard.
I even fell at the feet of both!
But neither Brother Khan,
Nor my sister’s husband,
Would come down from the devil’s donkey!
[This proverb refers to someone
who stubbornly persists in wrong decisions]
Now I’ve turned to you for help,
To do something for,
Preserving the sacred centuries-old unity of this family.
Mr. Shamsali Mirza!
Please don’t let the police and the court,
Enter this house again!
Yes!
I thank the ladies and gentlemen,
Who have given me the honor.
As the chair of the meeting, I must say that I,
Since the establishment of the court,
Have served as an interrogator in the court.
I consider investigation and interrogation,
The key to solving any issue,
Be it political,
Social,
Familial, and so on and so forth!
For this reason, I propose that,
Before anything else,
It must be clarified that
That suspicious sound at Mr. Colonel’s party night,
Which caused the emergence,
Of all these disputes,
Did it have a human origin,
Or a non-human one?
Secondly!
In case,
It had a human origin,
It must be determined whether,
It came from your sister’s husband,
That is, Mr. Doctor!
- Oh, my face is black! [An idiom for showing shame and embarrassment]
Or not!
Thirdly!
If it was from your sister’s husband,
Was it intentional or unintentional!
If it’s clear the sound was definitely from Mr. Doctor,
The enmity will get worse!
Yes, it’ll get much worse!
Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!
[Crowd murmurs]
Allow me! Mrs Aziz al-Saltaneh,
You’re absolutely right.
- Thank you!
We held this meeting to maybe reconcile them!
Not to make them worse,
And set them against each other!
- Very well… Please allow me!
[Crowd murmurs]
Moment… Moment-
If the court isn’t seeking the truth,
[Crowd murmurs]
Then with the permission of the ladies and gentlemen,
I’ll take my leave!
- Where!
[Crowd murmurs]
- Please!
If we said something, we didn’t mean any harm!
[Crowd murmurs]
Ladies and gentlemen!
- Yes, we didn’t mean anything.
Whatever it is, brother,
The interrogator is at the service of the court!
We’re not experts!
Brother Khan, don’t get upset.
- Please!
We agree with your investigation!
[Crowd murmurs]
- Yes! We completely agree!
Bless you!
[Catchphrase of Dr. Naser al-Hekma]
Please! I mean, everyone’s pleading!
[Crowd murmurs]
- Come forward, Your Excellency!
Please, come forward!
Therefore, I will raise my first question.
All of you,
Who were present at that night’s party,
Did that suspicious sound,
Have a human or non-human origin?
Human!
Non-human!
It was like the sound of a chair.
Moment, Moment, Moment
I’m torn between human and chair.
Bless you!
My ears are a bit heavy.
I didn’t hear it clearly.
Quiet, quiet!
Ladies and gentlemen!
Silence!
Now that no one knows if that suspicious sound,
Had a human or non-human origin,
I will raise a sub-question related to the first main question,
I will ask!
- Go ahead!
We need to see,
Who was sitting near the place where the suspicious sound occurred,
Was seated!
Sir! Sir himself!
No! No! He won’t show up here!
Doctor!
Your sister’s husband!
He won’t come either!
He’s fallen into stubbornness!
I talked to him at length.
He won’t agree no matter what!
Ghamar!
Miss Ghamar!
Daughter of Mrs Aziz al-Saltaneh!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes, Uncle Asadollah?
Did you call me?
No, dear! No, bless you!
Go outside.
We just called you like that!
- Yes!
Bless you!
Bless you!
It wouldn’t have hurt if she sat here.
Ghamar is still a child.
- Oh! What’s this about it not hurting?!
What does a child know about interrogation?
True!
- Mrs Aziz is right!
Then you tell me,
Who should I interrogate?
Wait!
If you recall,
That night, next to Brother Khan,
Mash Ghasem was there too!
Mash Ghasem wasn’t next to Sir,
He was behind Sir!
Now, Sir didn’t have a sound direction finder!
I propose,
We send someone to get Mash Ghasem!
If we don’t get results from the investigation,
We need to somehow convince Mash Ghasem that,
He accepts the sound came from him!
Sir will believe him.
This way… maybe the fight will be settled!
This Mash Ghasem, I know him well.
Well?!
He’s not the kind to go under the load.
[The idiom going under the load means to accept or agree]
He considers such sounds,
A matter of namoos!
If you give him a good sum of money,
He might agree!
Mash Ghasem isn’t swayed by money!
Mash Ghasem was saying a while ago,
He only has one wish!
He wishes to build a reservoir in Ghias Abad, Qom,
And dedicate it to the people!
That’s it!
- Well done!
Well done!
Stay well!
It was a reasonable proposal!
My eyes don’t drink water,
[An idiom meaning being pessimistic about something]
That Mash Ghasem will agree!
We gotta find a way to convince him then!
- Why!
Building a reservoir ain’t cheap!
We’ll tell him,
In return, God’ll be pleased with his deeds in the next world!
Make his reservoir a handspan bigger,
He’ll agree!
[Sound of laughter]
Mash Ghasem!
Hey, Mash Ghasem!
Come, my dear Babam Jan wants you!
What does Mr. Colonel want with us?!
They wanna ask you somethin’.
God, make it pass safely.
[Sound of whispering]
- Well, well, Mash Ghasem!
- Welcome, sit down!
- Come in!
Well…
Mr. Mash Ghasem!
Your testimony,
Is needed for the unity of a noble family!
Swear to tell nothing but the truth!
Sir, when have we ever lied!?
Mr. Mash Ghasem!
You,
At Mr. Colonel’s party that night,
When a sound went off in the middle of Sir’s speech,
Did you hear the sound with your own ears or not?
Yes?
Honestly, Sir, why lie!
Till the grave, A-A-A-A!
Mr. Mash Ghasem!
You’re standing before a judge!
A-A-A-A, what’s that?!
Sorry, Your Excellency!
It’s Mash Ghasem’s habit!
It means from here to the grave, four fingers.
A-A-A-A!
Why would I lie!
[Crowd laughter]
Mr. Mash Ghasem, please,
Don’t repeat that gesture.
Answer my question.
Yes, sir!
Yes, Sir! We’re your servant!
You said that that Suspishes sound…
[He incorrectly pronounces suspicious as Suspishes]
Suspicious! Suspicious, sir!
What does it mean?!
“What does it mean” means what!?
You said Suspishes,
I told you to say Suspicious!
Honestly, Sir!
Why lie!
Now, what’s the difference?
Difference in what?
The difference between what we said and what you said!
Oh my…
Sir, a suspicious sound means…
[Makes a farting sound with his mouth]
[Crowd laughter]
Moment, Moment, Moment
[Crowd laughter]
Quiet!
[Crowd laughter]
What’s that, Sir, it’s not funny!
[Crowd laughter]
Quiet!
[Crowd laughter]
Quiet!
- Stay well!
Sir, you shouldn’t joke with justice and the court!
Brother Khan, please sit down!
[Crowd laughter]
Why are you getting angry?
I was explaining!
I was describing the scene!
Please, you go ahead and sit down!
I wanted Mash Ghasem to understand your meaning!
[Crowd laughter]
Quiet!
Quiet!
Moment. What’s that?
Well!
Mash Ghasem, now that you understand what’s meant,
Tell me, this suspicious sound,
Did you hear it with your own ears or not?
Honestly, Sir, L… L… L… L
Do you want the lie or the truth?
Bless you!
Bless you!
What’s that, Babam Jan! Are you joking?!
When Mr. Shamsali Mirza,
Asks you a question,
Well, obviously, he wants the truth!
Honestly…
It… it was like that sound itself, y… y… yes!
That sound itself, yes!
[Crowd laughter]
The answer to the first question has been given.
Now let’s move on to the second question.
Mr. Mash Ghasem!
You who were present at the party that night,
Tell me,
That suspicious sound,
Who did it come from?
Huh?
Honestly…
Honestly…
Why lie?!
Till the grave, A-A-A-A!
Our ears were on Sir’s speech,
He was telling the story of the Kazerun w*r.
He was sayin’:
They aimed right at Mr. Khodadad Khan’s forehead,
And pulled the trigger.
The first shot missed!
Right by Khodadad Khan’s ear!
Mash Ghasem!
Yes… yes… yes!
Brother Khan didn’t get to that part!
He only got to aiming at Khodadad Khan’s head!
Yes, Sir!
Well, we saw it with our own eyes,
We’ll tell you the story ourselves!
- Mash Ghasem!
No need to tell it!
Just answer His Excellency’s questions.
Honestly…
Honestly…
Why lie!
We… when the sound came, our attention was on Sir.
When we turned around, first we saw,
It was your sister’s husband,
And behind him, Miss Ghamar was there!
What?!
Ghamar?!
Mrs Aziz al-Saltaneh, please!
Calm down, calm down.
- What’s that, listen to what he’s sayin’!
He’s talkin’!
- Quiet!
Shazdeh, if you agree, I have a proposal.
Talk about the reservoir.
- Alright.
In my opinion, there’s no problem at all.
I completely agree.
No one said anything to upset you, Mrs Aziz!
What else did you want them to say?
We recall one day in the Kazerun w*r,
A b*llet had hit,
Right between the eyes of one of our men!
It went out the back of his head.
The poor guy was from Malayer.
[Malayer is the name of a city]
No matter how much we tried to put him on the horse’s back,
To take him out of the b*ttlefield,
He just wouldn’t agree!
He said, Mash Ghasem, you go!
We don’t have much time left in our life.
But did we let him go!
Mash Ghasem, save these stories for later.
Are you ready in this critical moment,
To help us?
Honestly, Sir…
Mash Ghasem!
Yes!
We’ve almost found a way,
To resolve the disputes between Brother Khan and Mr. Doctor.
Yes!
Only one problem remains.
That’s the matter of the suspicious sound from the party night.
Damn the doer and its accomplices, Cusre!
[He mistakenly pronounces curse as Cusre]
Mash Ghasem?
Remember you said you wanted,
To build a reservoir in Ghias Abad,
And dedicate it to the people?
Yeah? Do you remember?
Well, no lie!
Ever since we were an "Alef Bache",
[Alef = "A", bache = "kid"; meaning: refers to being a tiny, weak little child]
We wanted it!
But God didn’t will that its expenses be covered.
These poor Ghias Abad folks,
Even to this day, they still take water from the same Ditchh.
[They mistakenly pronounce ditch as Ditchh]
Mash Ghasem!
Now, if we’re willing,
To cover all the costs of this reservoir,
Are you ready to help us?
Huh?!
Honestly, it’s not bad!
Bala nesbat, if you tell us,
[Bala nesbat[No offense] is a word used to make an exception for the other party]
Go climb Mount Qaf!
[Qaf is a legendary, towering mountain said to encircle the earth,
from behind which the sun rises]
We’ll go to make it happen!
Long live, Mash Ghasem!
Bravo!
- I knew he’d agree!
- Bravo!
Come on, well done, well done, bravo…
Alive be you!
[The idiom "Alive be you!" is a well-wishing expression for the other party’s longevity and health]
Mash Ghasem!
The help we’re asking from you is this,
That you accept that suspicious sound from the party night,
That went off in the middle of Sir’s speech,
came from your side!
You mean it came from our village?
[He thinks “Side” refers to his hometown]
No… no!
You didn’t get it!
I mean that sound came from you!
Just by accident!
I swear by this lamp’s light if it was me!
[He swears by something at hand, like the lamp’s light]
Where, Mash Ghasem?
I swear by Sir’s bread and salt, it wasn’t us!
[Trust, friendship, and loyalty based on sharing the same table]
- We know it wasn’t you!
We love Sir more than the apple of our eye,
We’d be in our shroud if it was us!
You mean you’re sayin’ we’re that much without namoos!?
Mash Ghasem!
- Oh man, who said anything about no namoos?
Mash Ghasem! … Why don’t you get it!
- Who said you got no namoos!
We all know it wasn’t you!
- Yes!
But we’re askin’ you to make a sacrifice,
Say it was you.
So maybe this fight and feud can end!
You mean we should come and lie?!
Lie, and to Sir of all people?!
Astaghfirullah!
[A verbal or practical request
to God for forgiveness of sins]
How far is it to the grave?!
- Hold on… hold on, Mash Ghasem!
Think about the reservoir!
They’ll name it the Mash Ghasem Reservoir!
The good prayers of the people of Ghias Abad!
We should come and,
Pin this kind of no-namoos stuff on ourselves,
So the folks of Ghias Abad can drink water?!
I’d rather they don’t drink for seventy years!
Oh man, where you goin’ now, Mash Ghasem?
[Crowd murmurs]
If the folks of Ghias Abad find out,
We built a reservoir with no-namoos money,
Even if their water gets saltier,
They won’t touch a drop for seventy years!
You think,
We don’t care about our namoos?!
Did we pick up our namoos from the side of the road?
You done or not!
How much nonsense?
How much rubbish?
I’d rather you don’t agree for seventy black years!
Get lost, go outside!
- Don’t get worked up!
You shameless fool!
- Colonel, don’t upset yourself!
Go, get lost!
- Poor guy doesn’t get it!
Ugh… what’s that!
Bless you!
Without eyes and face!
[An idiom used for an ungrateful person]
Bless you!
Bless you!
[He sighs]
Wow, wow, wow, wow… what pretensions!
I suggest we get back to the topic.
How about continuing the investigation,
so that the main cause of the sound might be discovered!
Gentlemen!
I just had an idea.
If Mrs Aziz al-Saltaneh agrees,
I mean, if Mrs Aziz al-Saltaneh, for the sake of
preserving family unity,
makes a small sacrifice…
What kind of sacrifice?!
If you agree,
we’ll tell brother khan that this thing…
this minor sound,
came from Miss Ghamar…
I don’t understand!
Ghamar what?!
I said…
If we tell brother khan,
that that night Ghamar
was a little unwell…
What do you mean?
-It doesn’t get any better than this!
Shame is a good thing!
Aren’t you ashamed in front of me too?!
You’ve brought out its salt!
[An idiom meaning to go too far in anything]
My daughter?!
My daughter would do such things?!
I raised her like a bouquet of flowers!
Now that a suitor has come for her,
Now that she is about to reach an outcome,
Her relatives have taken a bite for her!
[An idiom referring to actions usually done for someone against their will or awareness]
You all,
cannot bear to see the happiness of others.
[An idiom referring to a jealous person]
Her first husband left because of you all!
Now that a suitor has come for her again,
you want to ruin her reputation and honor!
May the grave-digger take you all!
[A colloquial idiom meaning wishing death upon someone]
May the grave-digger take this family unity of yours!
[A colloquial curse wishing destruction upon someone's family unity]
You are right, Mrs Aziz!
These people,
don’t consider the reputation and honor of a girl at all!
Bless your mouth, Miss Farokh-Lagha!
[An idiom meaning hearing your own words from someone else's mouth]
They don’t know that,
raising a daughter and marrying her off is such a misery!
Everything I suffer is because of them!
This Mr. Dr. Naser al-Hokama,
Has throwed the chow everywhere that…
[chow, An idiom meaning to spread rumors]
Ghamar has no sense!
-What happened?
These very people caused her to divorce her husband!
They bewitched the poor man!
They locked him!
[An idiom referring to bewitching and blocking one’s luck]
-You’re right!
My mother-dead daughter,
[A phrase used to show sympathy or pity for someone]
She waited for a whole year!
For a whole year, her husband would die for her!
But well, what can be done?
When a man is locked,
what dirt can the poor guy throw on himself?
["Throwing dirt on oneself" means trying to find a solution]
Moment!
Moment!
It wasn’t her relatives’ fault either!
Now also you their stones on chest hit?
[An idiom meaning to take someone's side / to defend someone]
You were the one who found out late!
If you'd told us earlier,
we would have done something about it!
After all, in the family,
there's always a set of keys that,
can open the locks!
[mocking]
-Bravo!
We too, in the world of relatives,
are ready for all kinds of sacrifices.
[Apparently Aziz al-Saltaneh mentioned her childlessness, and Asadollah says he could have helped Ghamar]
Corpse-washer take your shape!
Aren’t you ashamed to say this in front of me?
-What do you mean? What do you mean?
Leave me alone, sir! Leave me alone!
-Don’t get angry!
Why is he doing this?
Your corpse-washer…
-Bless you!
Be ashamed!
May they heap dirt on all of you!
[A kind of curse/insult]
I’m making a suggestion!
Ghamar! Ghamar!
Let’s go!
-I’m making a sacrifice!
Shame and modesty are good things!
-Please, don’t get angry!
-Mrs Aziz, please wait!
-What do you mean!
-They don’t feel shame even in front of me!
-Aziz…!
Really, you’ve overdone it, Shazdeh!
-Moment!
Why are all of you staring at me sideways?
I said it out of goodwill!
If my new suitor, God forbid, gets locked,
everyone should know that in the world of relatives,
we’re ready for any service!
I didn’t say anything!
Aziz grabbed everyone’s trouser!
[The idiom “grabbed the trouser” means
getting unnecessarily involved with someone]
Didn’t you see what she said to Dr.?
What did I say to him?
Bless you!
Did I say something wrong?
If I said something wrong, say it!
One doesn’t dare to speak!
Dad!
What are you saying?
What does “locked” mean?
At your age,
you don’t know what “locked” means?
Then what do you know?
How should I know?
It hasn’t become San Francisco!
[Asadollah Mirza uses “San Francisco” to refer to having sexual relations]
Ah… Asdollah!
When is this the time for jokes?
-What? I’m just saying the meaning!
Seems like the matter has reached joking and laughing!
In that case, with your permission…
!Moment…Moment
Please don’t get angry, brother!
I’m seriously trying to find a solution!
I want to ask Colonel,
why exactly,
do we need Mrs. Aziz al-Saltaneh’s consent?
Huh?
Why is it necessary to put her in the loop?
-Ah…
Actually, Colonel,
you yourself go and tell him
that this act was Ghamar’s!
Yes, really, what’s the need
to tell Mrs. Aziz al-Saltaneh about it?
Exactly!
I’ve tried so much,
to reconcile my brother-in-law and Khan Dadash,
that
he no longer believes me.
My going is pointless.
Moment!
How about we ask Dr. Naser al-Hokama
to do this job for us!
Bless you!
Bless you!
Yes, sir!
Exactly!
Actually, I’ve repeatedly,
told Mrs. Aziz al-Saltaneh
that Miss Ghamar,
needs treatment!
-Exactly!
This girl’s fat!
Yeah!
She eats too much.
-Yeah, true!
She eats gassy stuff!
Exactly!
Bravo... bravo... exactly!
Well, she doesn’t have much sense either!
Naturally!
Gentlemen!
When—
the mind
is missing,
and the stomach’s full of gas,
these sounds are inevitable!
Gentlemen!
I shall go myself!
-Bravo... that’s right... good... yes, exactly...
I even swear on the soul of the late The Great Sir,
that I myself heard it
with my own ears that night,
and I even identified the direction right!
Yes, sir!
Bless you!
-The doctor is leaving.
Bless you!
-I wouldn’t bet my eyes on it.
[idiom: expressing doubt or pessimism]
-I don’t think he’ll agree!
Hello, Doctor!
Hello, my boy, how are you?
Bless you!
Hello, Doctor!
- Hello!
Where is Sir right now?
First, Sir was in this room,
then, via the corridor, he went to that room.
So now he’s there!
Right there!
Yes!
Bless you!
If you see him,
don’t say
If Sir finds out, our big piece is in our ear!
- Bless you!
By the way...
Bro!
Do you have a match?
- No!
- You don't have one...
Ma...match?
No...I don't. No!
Match?
No...no!
Match?
Cigarettes aren't good for your heart.
- Hope everything's fine!
Gentlemen!
Bless you!
What happened, Doctor?!
What happened? Huh?
Sir is very regretful that,
he rushed in judgment!
They promised to go tomorrow,
and apologize to their sister's husband!
Moment! Moment!
[laughter]
Since I’m a member of the Foreign Ministry,
I suggest Dr. Naser Al-Hokama
for the presidency of the United Nations!
[laughter]
Moment!
The family unity has been saved!
But be careful,
don’t let Ghamar’s suitor hear anything!
Otherwise, Mrs. Aziz Al-saltaneh,
will make everyone’s lock and key into one!
[laughter]
Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me!
I suggest we all go together,
to pay a visit to my dear sister’s husband.
[murmur and laughter]
All together!
-Bless you!
[murmur and laughter]
Go ahead!
[murmur and laughter]
Shajoon!
Shajoon!
What is it? I'm here!
Uncle has promised to come,
to apologize to Agha Joon!
In fact, my foolishness
is a blessing for some people!
- Now that he’s backed down,
- you back down too!
I’d sacrifice myself for you!
I swear on the souls of your deceased,
don't go after him anymore!
- Okay, I won't go after him!
I'll give him a Kazeroon fight he'll enjoy!
♪ Sound of a military march ♪
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
01x01 - Episode 1
Watch/Buy Amazon
Widely regarded as one of the most popular television series in Iranian history, My Uncle Napoleon became a cultural phenomenon upon its 1976 release.
Widely regarded as one of the most popular television series in Iranian history, My Uncle Napoleon became a cultural phenomenon upon its 1976 release.