01x06 - Kelechi the Rooster

[bunniefuu]

I'm so single I'm dressed as a panda bear

to try to find a connection with somebody.

I'm at the point now where I'm dating

probably to marry somebody.

So, are you like a nerd-nerd

or are you like a hot nerd?

Baby, I'm a hot nerd.

Yes!

When it comes to dating,

we all go for looks first.

Is it love at first sight?

So, in this show,

everyone looks as weird as possible.

Could you fall in love

with someone based on personality alone?

a*s first, personality second.

Would you still feel

that way when you see their real face?

You are hot!

Welcome to the strangest blind date ever.

This is Sexy Beasts.

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Kelechi,

a pharmacy student

from Knoxville, Tennessee.

Yes, we've got a hot, soon-to-be doctor,

so why is he here?

I've been single for two,

two and a half years.

Been on some great dates,

but I also have been on tragic dates.

I'm trying to find out if I can end

this streak of bad dates I have been on.

We're here to help.

So, what kind of girl

will get our chicken clucking?

The ideal person that I can meet today

is someone who is smart, funny,

physically in shape,

doesn't take themselves too seriously.

I do expect to connect with someone

on a deeper level.

But what if a woman

only has eyes for your flaps?

I mean, they are very beguiling.

I mean, look at that.

Look me in the eyes, not my flaps.

That's all I'm asking.

Let's get it done.

I'm ready for these dates.

Well, Kelechi's up and ready,

so let's meet the three ladies

hoping to ravish the rooster.

First up, meet Lilly,

a model and former scientist

from London, England.

I definitely think men

judge me on my looks.

I really want someone

just to get to know me

and want to be with Lilly,

rather than just a pretty face.

So, is it just a pretty face

that's a roadblock to romance?

I think the big problem for me

is I do end up becoming mates with guys,

then they end up fancying me,

and then it's just not reciprocated.

I just enjoy having guy friends.

Surely, if anyone can tempt

Lilly out of her self-imposed friend zone,

it's a big, old ripped rooster.

I've been single now for quite some time,

but I do think

I'm now ready for a relationship.

Next up is Cassie,

an investment manager

originally from Toronto.

So, believe it or not,

this will be my first date

in over two years.

What a way

to get back on the dating scene.

When I thought about getting back

into dating game, I never expected

that I would be dressed up

in this frog mask.

This is gonna be a new one for me.

So, what's Cassie hopping

I'm sorry,

hoping to get out of this experience?

I absolutely love Disney,

and the most incredible thing in the world

would be to find my Prince Charming,

be swept off my feet,

and to be able to spend my life

with somebody that I love.

Mmm. That is really beautiful.

And when I find my one true love,

I'm gonna grab him by the ba*ls

and never let him go.

I'm not sure I've seen that Disney film.

Finally, meet Martha,

a sales executive

from Southampton, England.

I've had so many people say to me

that my face

doesn't actually match my personality

'cause I'm completely nuts.

I'll make strange noises.

I'd say I'm fun to be around.

So, what is our fun fawn

looking for in a guy?

I'd ideally like someone who is not

a complete and utter moron.

And does not cheat.

sh**t for the stars, Martha.

I like it.

I mean, like, a good career

would be ideal, but I'm easy.

I'm not easy.

Kelechi has come to London

to roost on a barstool

and speed date our three hopefuls

- How tall are you? Woo-hoo!

- I'm six-three. Yeah?

Thank good lord.

before kicking one of them

out of the game

based just on first impressions.

- Ever seen a frog this glamorous?

- Never.

Only then will her real face be revealed.

- You been on a speed date before?

- A speed date? Yeah, but not like this.

Let's c*ck-a-doodle-do this.

A reindeer and a rooster walk into a bar.

They'd be like,

"That's a couple and a half!"

Yeah, right?

- You're like a lion-chicken-turkey.

- Lion-chicken You know what?

That's like a sandwich.

- Can I get a lion-chicken-turkey, please?

- Oh my God.

I like Martha a lot.

It was super natural.

I could talk to her for hours.

- I am originally from Toronto.

- Okay.

I ended up in New York.

Went to Cornell and

Really? So, you're smart?

Cornell, all right

Well, I like to think I'm smart.

One of the big things I was looking for

was intelligence. She's smart.

She's gone to Cornell University.

A huge Ivy League school.

- What do you like to do in your free time?

- Massively into my fitness.

- So, I like running.

- Really?

- Any sort of fitness.

- Same.

For me, that was a plus.

The big check mark.

All right, cool. She's into fitness.

What else do you do in your spare time

other than sport?

- I actually play video games a lot.

- What video games?

Mostly first-person shooters.

I play Call of Duty or Halo.

Okay.

I was like, "A first-person sh**ter?"

I felt there was a good connection.

I like her a lot.

- Like being out of your comfort zone?

- Yeah. I mean, hello.

I'm an adrenaline junkie.

That's why I asked.

- I really enjoy going skydiving.

- You've been skydiving?

- Yeah, no, I did.

- I'm covering my eyes.

I've only ever been to America once.

Where'd you go?

It was an accident.

I went to Philadelphia.

You went on accident?

Supposed to go into Dominican Republic.

Accidentally got a flight to Philly.

- Where'd you leave from?

- Manchester.

- And you ended up in Philadelphia?

- Yeah.

- Jeez Louise!

- Honestly, it was a nightmare.

I can honestly say

I've never met anyone

that visited a different continent

on accident.

That's a great story.

Believe it or not,

I have not been on a date in two years.

So, all I wanted out of this experience

was to meet some awesome people.

- Which, of course, I did.

- Yeah.

And to be on my first date

in over two years.

It shocked me she hadn't been

on a date in two years.

It was uh

I don't wanna say a red flag

but, I mean, it was a red flag.

What made you want to be on the show?

I think, for me,

it was just breaking down the boundaries

of meeting someone just by how they look,

and wanting to get to know someone.

Takes a whole new meaning

to blind date, huh?

I find it crazy.

People have dating apps,

and it's like

All the time! You just think,

"All you do is judge on looks."

Like, no one sits there and goes,

"Oh, they sound like a lovely soul."

Doesn't happen.

Oh my God, I haven't given this a go yet.

- I don't wanna get my beard like

- It's okay. It matches my

- Your dangly bits.

- My dangly bits.

Your red, spotty dangly bits,

which is rather attractive.

That's what we're calling them.

Apart from objectifying

his majestic dangly bits,

what did our lady beasts make of Kelechi?

He was so lovely.

He was really, like, welcoming.

We didn't have any awkward silences.

I'll be gutted if he didn't choose me.

He's such a sweet guy,

and we had a wonderful time.

It was the best kind

of stepping back into the game

I could've asked for.

The conversation between us was natural.

It flowed really well.

Be great to get to spend more time

and actually show him

more of my personality.

And has our beaky bachelor

finally ended that bad dating streak?

I enjoyed the dates very much so.

All three were easy to talk to, easygoing.

We had good conversation.

I gotta figure out who I have to let go.

It'll be a tough one, honestly.

To discover our rooster's pecking order,

let's make our way to Sexy Beasts Manor,

the stately home designed for dumping.

One of our girls

is about to be eliminated,

and then have her real face revealed.

Hello, ladies.

I had great dates with you all today.

I hope you enjoyed yourself 'cause I did.

Lilly, we had great conversation.

However, I don't know

if this is more of a romantic

or a friendship connection.

Cassie,

I love that you're super intelligent.

However, I don't know

if we were on the same vibe.

Martha, we had an awesome date as well.

It was super natural, super easygoing.

I love that you're spontaneous like I am.

However, I don't know

if you're looking for a deeper connection.

I made a decision

and have to let someone go.

And that person is

Cassie.

Sorry.

- Oh.

- Oh!

Her first date in two years,

and she's been chucked by a chicken.

Honestly, I'm not disappointed at all.

If he had a better connection with

the other girls, that's fine.

So, yeah, I'm 100% in the dating game.

And Prince Charming, if you're out there,

I'm waiting to be kissed.

It was tough to let Cassie go, honestly.

I feel like she was super intelligent.

I just didn't feel like it was

a natural connection from the beginning.

So, Cassie's hopes of romance

have croaked,

but before she goes, it's time to reveal

the queen beneath the green.

Whoa!

Where was all that hair hiding?

Will Kelechi regret his decision?

All eyes on you.

- He's loving it.

- Oh, yeah.

It's okay. I know I'm pretty.

- Oh my gosh!

- Wow.

- Oh my God!

- You look amazing.

- I love your outfit!

- You look gorgeous.

Surprise!

Oh my God, your hair!

I know, can you believe

that it fit under that mask?

- You look beautiful under it.

- Thank you so much.

From a frog to a princess,

quite literally.

If I saw Cassie in a bar,

she would catch my eye.

The decision I made

is based off personality,

and conversation and how we vibed,

so I'm sticking with it.

No regrets at all.

All is cool with Kelechi,

but what will Cassie think

of his real face,

as we give her a sneaky peek

behind the pecker?

Not like that.

I mean, he's stunning.

Definitely not what I expected though.

I just hope

he's ultimately happy with his decision.

So, it's witch versus deer

in the battle for potential passion.

They both have one more shot

at roping the rooster

before he chooses his Sexy Beast,

and all the masks come off.

Martha's up first.

It could go somewhere.

We'll have to find out, wait and see.

I mean, who wouldn't be attracted to this?

Kelechi is taking Martha

on a sophisticated wine-tasting date.

- Hi, guys. How we doing?

- How are you?

Helping them get to grips

with the grape,

or to just get drunk, is Tim.

I have a technique which is cool.

The three S's.

Swirl, sniff and slurp.

The three S's. Swirl.

Okay, I'm swirling.

Sniff.

That's, like, barky, deep and sexual.

And swig a lot of alcohol.

Mmm.

Hmm.

Huh?

I love a bit of fizz.

One of these is a lot better

than the other in terms of quality.

Give that a nose.

- Bet it looked great, didn't it?

- Oh.

- Oh!

- Yeah.

What are you getting?

Absolutely nothing.

- Being completely honest

- I can't really get it in my nose.

Not getting anything.

I'm having a wonderful time with Martha.

We've laughed a lot.

I like it so far. I enjoyed it.

- It's not

- You struggling there?

- I got it, just Yep, there you go.

- Mmm.

That's the cheap one.

We just get along well.

Like, the conversation flows.

Feels like I've known him for a long time.

But I've known him for,

like, a couple of hours.

Wine tasting over,

our pair head to the roof to,

well, drink more wine

and admire some of London's

famous landmarks.

The sites are so pretty.

I learned that that building is the

- The Shard, right?

- The Shard? Yeah.

That one? The Grekit?

- Gherkin.

- Is that like a croissant?

- No.

- That's a serious question.

Okay. So, like, a gherkin

Oh, this is gonna sound really sexy.

- A long, green, bumpy thing.

- What's wrong with that?

Slightly pickled?

I don't know if that's sexy.

I feel like that's not.

A green version of this,

but slightly thinner and longer.

So, you don't think

my dangly bits are sexy?

If they're green.

- No!

- Wow! Wow!

Translation: a gherkin is a pickle.

And yes, they are very sexy.

Just do a handful.

I mean Oh! Oh!

Are they sensitive?

- A little bit.

- I mean, Oh, they feel

- They're quite heavy.

- They are.

Playing with someone's dangly bits

is definitely a sign

that a date's going well.

- I just wanna yell

- For the queen!

I can do a better bird noise.

Oh, yeah.

We had a great time. We've laughed a lot.

Personality-wise,

we're getting on phenomenally.

I don't think what she looks like

will have a big effect on me.

Oh my gosh, I'm freezing!

- Come here.

- I'm freezing! Oh, hello.

Hello, muscles!

Oh, you're crazy.

This was one of the best dates

I've been on.

So, the reindeer has charmed the chicken.

Time for Lilly the Witch

to put a fire under Kelechi's cauldron.

Love is not a competition for me.

It's, "What does he want in a person?"

I wanna find out

if I match his personality

and have that complete vibe.

Unfortunately for Lilly,

love is a competition on this show.

Can she get our rooster's heart racing

as they go off-roading

with instructor Ashley?

Can we have a c*ck-a-doodle-do to

Right, okay.

- Let's get in the cars.

- Let's do it!

Hold on to your face

and prepare for the adrenaline rush

of your lives!

Party on!

Go! Go! Go!

Is this really how fast they're gonna go?

All right. Okay,

so this music doesn't work then.

- Better.

- Perfect.

Are you sure that's perfect?

- Oh, yeah.

- Jeez.

- Okay.

- We're going up.

You know, those hills on the track

look like they're not that big.

- Holy sh*t.

- Yeah?

But when you're in an SUV, you look down,

and think you'll tip over, screams happen.

- Okay! Okay!

- Oh, yeah.

I really enjoyed it.

It was so nice

to see the car just tip over like that.

God, why is it a two-wheel thing?

Like, why? What's the

- We've got four! We've got four wheels!

- There's a reason!

Oh God.

I'm done! I'm done! I'm done!

Ah, now I see why

we dressed him as a chicken.

Oh, I'm in the hot seat.

Time for the witch to take the wheel.

What are we doing? Am I balancing?

Oh my goodness! Oh!

Oh, yeah, there it is!

There you go.

Oh! I feel like one of them

school moms gone wild.

I feel our date has been super fun.

Oh my God!

I feel Lilly's personality

really came out today,

and it made me think of her

a lot differently.

Okay, there's a bounce.

Gotcha, there it is. There it is.

Oh, sh*t!

How do I get down?

- Oh!

- Sheesh!

Keep you on your toes.

Isn't that what every man wants?

We do get on really well.

I think we both like having a laugh

and doing new experiences.

On the last hill,

I'm pretty sure the car was gonna flip

'cause she screamed before I did.

Yeah, sure,

she was the scared one.

Oh, sh*t!

Why'd the chicken cross the road?

Well, in this case, it's because

we told him to for this cheap visual gag,

or he wouldn't get a nice cup of tea.

This scenery is ridiculous.

- The current queen had her honeymoon here.

- Really?

- Wild, yeah.

- So this is our first honeymoon?

- It's all I hear.

- This is how the honeymoon should go.

This is what I wanna wear on my honeymoon.

I was thinking that.

If Glam Squad turns up,

I wanna look like a witch.

Exactly. I mean, I'll sip to that.

- Pinkies up.

- Pinkies up.

I feel the more romantic vibe

since we had this date.

She's letting more of her personality out

and is flirting a little more,

which I thought was really attractive.

- I think I did win the driving thing.

- I'm gonna go for more of a tie.

I didn't even feel scared.

I don't think there was a moment

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

Cool, calm, collected.

So, why did you scream?

It was a witch's cackle.

- Like a

- You're right. A witch's cackle.

I had so much fun.

I didn't know what to expect at all,

but he's a lovely, lovely guy.

It was just really natural.

After the first date,

I thought Martha was a front-runner,

but after this great date with Lilly,

I really don't know who I'm gonna pick.

Well,

it's time to get pickin', chicken,

as we return to the Manor

for Kelechi to choose his Sexy Beast.

Will he heed Martha's sultry bird call?

Or has the witch got him under her spell?

Keep you on your toes.

Isn't that what every man wants?

Hello, my gorgeous beasts.

Hi.

I had phenomenal dates

with both of you.

We had a great date, Martha.

All the sightseeing, hanging out,

just having drinks, talking.

It was so fun.

And, Lilly, our date was amazing.

I got to see your personality

so much more.

Being able to hang out,

doing some crazy stunts,

it was just super fun.

But I can only pick one person.

My Sexy Beast is

Martha.

- Congratulations, guys!

- Thank you!

The deer's done it!

Give us a hug!

Shows you how far

fondling dangly bits'll get you.

That decision was extremely hard.

I had great dates with both of them,

and it made it so much harder to choose.

I am disappointed

that I didn't find the one for me.

Think I was just hopeful

that I would have that real connection

based on personality alone.

Maybe this experience has taught me that,

yeah, there needs to be

that bit extra to create a spark.

When he said "Martha," I was like, "Yes!"

Trying to play it cool, though.

I was just like,

"Yeah, thanks. Cheers for that."

We have really natural energy together.

When we hang out,

it's just been super easy.

My decision was definitely based off

of personality only,

but I'm definitely hoping

Martha's smoking hot.

Well, we are about to find out,

as the time has come

for everyone's real faces to be freed.

And first up,

who wants to see a headless chicken?

This is the real Kelechi.

Wow!

Chicken might be off the menu,

but he's one slab of pure beef.

Martha's in for a finger-licking feast.

But before they come face-to-face,

let's de-wart Lilly the Witch.

Well, polish my broomstick!

She certainly casts a spell.

Will Kelechi regret his decision

when they meet for the first time?

We'll find out here

in the Manor's Great Hall of Romance.

Oh my Gosh!

Hello!

- Wow! Hey!

- Did not expect that at all!

Hello, it's lovely to meet you.

I don't regret my decision,

but Lilly does look phenomenal.

- Wow, they really covered up everything!

- Yeah!

- You looked rough earlier.

- No!

He's a lovely guy.

Didn't get a romantic connection

I was looking for,

but it was just so nice

to put a face to the personality.

Good luck with everything, with Martha!

Thank you so much. Bye!

I wasn't expecting her

to look like this,

but I'm looking forward

to going to see Martha.

And here she comes.

Will a romantic future flourish

as our Sexy Beasts meet

for the very first time?

Wow.

Hello.

- Hey, how are you?

- Yeah, I'm good.

You look beautiful.

He's not wrong.

The deer has caught us in her headlights

with a smile so dazzling,

it could cause permanent eye damage.

I just

- Is this what you expected?

- No! No!

You are hot!

- So are you.

- Oh my gosh!

My legs were literally shaking.

As I walked in, I was like,

"Please don't fall over.

That'll be embarrassing."

- You're gorgeous. Like, so pretty.

- Thank you!

I'm like, "Ah!"

- This is crazy!

- I know.

Martha looked incredible,

just completely jaw-dropped.

Was not expecting it at all.

He's got an amazing physique.

He's really good-looking.

He's gonna be a doctor.

He lives on the other side of the world,

but I love America,

so it is looking good from here.

We should go on another date.

Yeah, I'd love to.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

I'm happy seeing where things go.

We have a good connection.

Plus, I mean, she's smoking hot.

I'm a very happy man right now.

Cool.