01x09 - Umm, Hello

[bunniefuu]

Get your Pauly's D here.

I would love to find DJ Pauly D a girl who holds it down.

Oh, hey, boo!

What the [bleep] is that?

We failed. An epic, legendary fail.

[laughter]

He has a dead body.

What the [bleep] is that? Is that Angelina?

I'm the king of prank wars. I'm a prank w*r champion.

[screaming]

What the [bleep] is that?

♪ Here I come

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now.

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frick out of here, you crazy!

♪ Here I come ♪

♪ This one for my soldiers in the field, brah ♪

♪ All my women that kept it more than real y'all ♪

♪ Know the streets is more than just beef ♪

♪ If you listen to the rose that grew from concrete ♪

♪ Hip hop

Hello. Hello.

You guys, what are we gonna do while the girls are gone?

What time do the strippers get here?

Uh, :.

The strippers get here at :,

so make sure you're ready.

So tonight, we'll have a party?

When Nicole and Jenni announced

that they're gonna go home for a few days to see their kids,

I kind of am happy about it.

We're gonna have less complaining

and nagging in the house.

They can get that out of their system

and then return to Miami with a clearer head and happy.

I figure we can go to Mokai tomorrow night.

Dude, that's tomorrow night.

[Pauly] The girls are going back home to see their kids,

so I'm realizing right now that we're stuck with Deena.

I don't know, dude.

Why are you being like a weirdo?

[laughs] [laughs]

We all know what happened with Deena.

The last time she came out with us, she turned into "Mean-a."

She was falling.

She was crying.

We don't want that on guys' weekend,

so we need to figure out what to do with Deena.

Boys' meeting real quick.

We've got to get Deena out of here.

You've seen what happened at Shock.

Do you want that all weekend?

Definitely not.

We should put her on a flight back to Jersey

so she can see Chris.Oh, hell, yeah.

We'll surprise her. She'll be happy.

We win, she wins. Win, win. Okay.

We've got to think of like a funny way to tell her, too.

Yeah.Let's write her a note.

[laughter]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's write her a note. [laughs]

She would fall for the bait, too.

Hell, yeah.

Operation: Boys' Weekend.

Boys' weekend, fellas, Just the boys, fellas.

Operation: Boys' Weekend is officially in full effect.

She might fall, going through security.

I'm just warning, if you want to write it on her ticket,

but she could... She will make it through.

You know, I forgot, she actually just got married,

so it's Buckner, not Cortese.

Yeah. B-U-C-K...

"N" as in "Nancy," "E" as in "Edward," "R"...

"R" as in "Rudolph," the red-nosed reindeer.

"R" as in "Rudolph," the red-nosed reindeer.

You don't have to write the "Rudolph,

the red-nosed reindeer" part.

[Ronnie] We're all taking our part

into making this Operation: Boys' Weekend.

You know, we're planning the flights.

You know, I'm writing the note.

[Vinny] Wait, wait.

Ron, you can write?

Oh!

Ron writing a note. Hello, irony.

Welcome home to the Shore house.

[bleep] writing "Lord of the Rings" up in here.

[laughs]

♪ Keep it on the down low

♪ On the down low

♪ Keep it on the down low

I'm packed. Vacuuming sucks.

I want us to come back to like a nice, clean place.

Yeah, it's like brewing.

Good for you.

Oh! It's gonna be the worst.

Come here. I just want to talk to you.

Let's go in your bedroom, 'cause I feel like

you need to sit down for this.

Why? You're scaring me.

Oh, my God. Like, who died? Like, what's happening?

Obviously, you have friends in Jersey and stuff,

and I got a phone call this morning.

Wait, what?

And then I found this.

[Nicole] Whenever there's a note involved, I mean,

it can't be good. It's usually bad news.

So I'm hoping that they're just [bleep] with her,

because she will die.

Oh, [bleep]. You gave it to her, son?

[Vinny] Our note is gonna be pretty good,

but it's not gonna top the original note.

The original note is like the Bible.

You can't rewrite that.

"Dear Deena Buckner, the first night you left,

"Chris went to Mr. East

"and he was grinded on multiple meatballs.

"He motorboated multiple meatballs.

"We just thought you should know.

This was really appalling."

Ron is a stugots when it comes to writing a note.

"This is a note, not a joke." [Jenni] What?

Stugots is an Italian way to say, "you [bleep] idiot."

Chris would never do that.

Why are you lying? You're starting [bleep].

What is happening and why am I getting this note

and who wrote it? Because the grammar is terrible.

Like, we're about to leave.All right, then, fine.

Then we're talking [bleep], then.

All right, so we're talking [bleep].

Ronnie didn't do so good writing his note.

He spelled it all wrong. It was horrible.

It was like having a five-year-old write this note.

I should have wrote this note.

Chris doesn't even talk to girls.

All right. Why are you yelling at us?

Don't sh**t the messenger.Chris stays home and plays video games.

I'm just relaying the message.

Who called you?

My friend from Jersey.[Nicole] Who?

And who's that? 'Cause I'm about to go to Jersey.

Brian. [Nicole] Brian what?

Brian who? Buckner.

[Nicole] How old is he?

She wasn't buying it. Nobody was buying it.

They actually wrote another note.

Yeah. This gets...

It's more of the note before the note.

This gets even worse.You guys are rude.

[Jenni] Stop.

"Just kidding. You're going to Jersey."

[shouting and cheering]

Why are you crying?

[Deena] I'm crying just because I'm so happy.

I thought I was staying here

with these fricking guys all weekend.

Now I am so excited to see my family.

We got you on the same flight as them.

Yep.

Girl, you better start packing.

[Nicole] Start packing. We gotta go.

Yo, so we pulled off the most epic note.

"He was grinded"?

This doesn't even make sense. Who wrote this?

Wait.Prank wars.

Second most epic note.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah,

nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

"This was really appalling." [laughs]

Who even wrote that?

"This was really appalling." [laughs]

Were we that bad when we wrote the note?

No, our note was, like, grammatically correct.

[Jenni] The boys gave Deena a ticket to go home.

This is amazing. But this letter is so poorly done,

they should have came to the number one letter writer.

You guys excited to go home?

Yeah. Yes.

Am I home yet?Yeah, can we go?

Yep, let's do it.

Yo, you guys handling the food for us?

Bro, you don't worry about a thing, bro, all right?

You just worry about being a guido.

I don't worry about that. It comes natural.

Bye. See you in two days. I love you.

Love you.

Peace!

Bye, house.

Bye, girl.

Let's go, [bleep].

Then there was two. [laughs]

Finally together, alone.

Alone.

Ah!

[laughter]

I just cheated.[laughs]

If he's got guylights, is it cheating?

True.

[Nicole] Back to Jersey!

♪ This is glorious, we're ten feet tall ♪

♪ We fly over land

I love you guys. Love you so much. Thank you.

♪ Finally free, ooh ooh ooh ♪

Give Roger and the kids my love.

I will.See you in two days.

I'll see you in a couple days.

Boys' weekend!

Boys' weekend!

RSVP.

What could go wrong?

Agreed! Let's go take another drink.

[bleep].Boys, just wait.

♪ We're finally free

Whoo-hoo! The girls are gone! That's right! Yep.

[laughs] The girls are gone! That's right!

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh

♪ We're finally free

[line ringing]

[Pauly] Mike's transformed into this nice guy,

so I have an idea.

Let's see if he really changed.

[Angelina] Hello? Angelina.

Who's this? It's Pauly D.

Prank wars.

What's up? Oh, my God.

What are you doing?

♪ We party, party, party from the night to the day ♪

♪ And won't stop until fair ladies say hoo-rah ♪

[Pauly] You know what time it is?

♪ It's t-shirt time

It's the first night out with just the boys.

The girls are back home with their family,

so tonight, we're about to turn up.

Hey!Paisan!

Forget about it, huh?

You see the thing the other day on TV?

Hey, which thing? The first thing or the second thing?

Hey! Hey!

What are you doing?

Mwah! Mwah!What are you doing?

Still going to that barber on th Street?

Yeah. Little Mario.

That barber owes me $. Next time I see him,

I'm gonna give him a hee-yah!

Still got the sanitation business?

Yeah. You still got the cab business?

I still got the cab... I threw that a little bit on the side.

Uber, right?

I swear to God, I'll [bleep] beat an Uber driver to death

if I [bleep] see one.

Kid from the Shore, Pauly,

he used to say, "the cabs are here."

Now there's [bleep] no more [bleep] cabs.

We do not stereotype Italians.

Italians are good people and they don't behave like that.

Now get the [bleep] out of here! Get the [bleep] out of here!

I just want to let everybody know

it's time to put their t-shirt on. "Facts!"

"Facts!"

Roll out. Roll out.

Mike's DD. Designation in the house!

If it's not cash...

♪ Prepare yourself, I can't even bear it myself ♪

♪ Too hot, CD burned the shelf ♪

♪ Life's the name, up in the game and y'all hate it ♪

♪ Life young brother, I can live it or take it ♪

♪ Your whole damn clique get invaded ♪

♪ Lord of the Rings with six belts ♪

♪ I stay faded

♪ Yes, my thoughts a tad jaded ♪

I think my boy Pauly likes you.

♪ Microphones and lightsabers ♪

♪ I rip one for the fortune strong with this, son ♪

This is how guys' night is supposed to be. [laughs]

♪ I grab my crew

♪ I got my dancing shoes, I got what I need ♪

[Vinny] We see a girl dancing who looks like

junior mini Sammi Sweetheart.

Like, Sammi Sweetheart crossed with a meatball

that could literally play Sammi Sweetheart

in some, like, bad musical somewhere.

Crazy. She literally looks like a mini Sammi with an edge

'cause she has tattoos and some piercings.

She did not look like Sammi. Sammi was way hotter.

I have way better taste than that.

[Sammi] You will never find someone like me.

There's no way she looks like Sammi. No. Definitely not.

Mokai's right now is flooded with women.

But out of all the options, I have to go with the mini Sammi.

I see the lights.

So I'm taking a separate cab from Ronnie.

I don't want him to get flashbacks of him and Sam.

You look like Sammi.

Ronnie will maybe not like that so much, but I like it.

It's not the first time I've heard that, though.Really?

[Ronnie] Oh, he's not here, either? [Vinny] He's in the cab.

Don't go near Ronnie, though, 'cause he'll get jealous.

[Courtney laughs]

[Vinny] Pauly brought home Sammi Sweetheart Junior.

She looks nothing like Sam, bro.

Do you guys know Sammi? Mini Sammi Sweetheart.

What do you think about seeing Ronnie tonight?

She moved on to bigger, better things. Pauly D.Right.

[Pauly] Ronnie, don't talk to us.

Yo, you brought home Sam? Pauly!

No, for real. Seriously. Sorry about that.

She doesn't look like Sam.

I'm gonna go with nuggets.

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

♪ Ooh ♪ When you're in your world

Okay, two burgers.

My best life includes burgers and fries.

♪ Got something to say now

♪ Yeah Mmm!

Where'd everybody go?

[Ronnie] She can't sleep with him.

That's like disrespecting me.

[bleep] your feelings.

Where's Vin?

Is Vin still crying in the corner?

This is beautiful. I put in so much work tonight

to find a girl for Pauly.

I'm seeing the hard work pay off

and it's just like an amazing fireworks show

to the end of the night.

Keto guidos.

I have to give this to the Keto guidos.

Keto guido.

There you go, son. Enjoy.

Maybe the first night I was here, she might have.

Oh, that's what I've got to do. [laughs]

Oh, you guys thought you were...

smarter than the average bear.

Know what I mean, plant?

[line ringing]

[female dispatcher] Miami Beach Taxi.

Enough is enough. We need to get

the fake Sammi out of here.

Cabs are here.

Cabs are here.

I don't know what the deal is, but I'm like, what the [bleep]?

Cabs are here.

The cabs are here. They're outside.

Ronnie, what the [bleep] are you doing?

Bye.Bye, fake Sam.

Ronnie's clearly over Sammi. Not jealous at all.

Yeah, right.

Bye, ex-girlfriend.Bye, ex-boyfriend.

Bye.Bye-bye.

I like starting trouble when I had nothing to do with it.

Now I know how Mike felt his whole life.

She doesn't look like Sam.

♪♪

♪♪

[Pauly] Ronnie called a cab for her.

[Vinny] He actually called a cab?

Yeah. I'm like, what the hell?

I was like... I wanted to wake up,

see what she looked like in the morning, talk to her.

No, you didn't.

Yeah, 'cause she was like another Sammi.

I think that's why he called a cab.

Oh, that's why he called it?

I think. It's so weird.

♪♪

I think it's like degrees up in Jersey right now.

Oh, yeah, the girls will be freezing their butts off.

So they must be freezing.I'm so happy to be here.

I know they're happier with their kids.

Yeah, they probably are happy to be with their kids.

They're happy with their kids

but not happy about the weather.Yeah.

Well, you know you can't have your cake

and eat it too, unless you're Mike.

[laughter]

Oh, my God.

All right, bro. Come at me, bro.

Let the roasting begin.

Any shore house that I've ever done,

you've been an extra.

Oh, my God! Mike's been waiting for this day.

Mike's been waiting for this moment.

'Cause he can finally put a sentence together, that's why.

Oh!

Let me get to school. I've got my backpack.

Fire in the hole! Oh!

Please, please.

Similar to that clogged toilet upstairs,

you're full of [bleep].

Hey!

Oh! [all shouting]

Hello, Mom? I need you to come pick me up!

Mom, I can't take it! Mom?

Hello? I'm gonna have to call you back.

I'm going to school. Waiting for the bus.

[Ronnie] Wait, Mike. Wait, Mike.

Where's the bus stop?

'Cause didn't they take all your cars?

Oh!

Knockout! My man Ronnie takes the win.

Oh, man! Oh, man! Oh, man! Oh, man!

I'm telling you, one of these days,

this roast is gonna get serious

and these two are gonna fight.

We shall resist.

[laughs]

♪♪

♪ Everything that we touch

♪ Is alive and we're free

Okay, you dump that in. I'll give you a paper towel.

♪ Euphoria morning

♪ Be here with me now

We're gonna make a double cake and you're gonna frost it.

Just remember to put your finger right there.

[gasps] Good job! You did it!

And no shell!

I'm very excited to be back home right now.

This is the longest I've ever been away from my kids.

Like, it's not easy.

[Roger] Do you that where Mommy is...

She's staying with some friends in Miami.

Do you know that she's down there with Sissy's mom too?

[Jenni] Who's Sissy's mom?

Aunt Nicole.

Aunt Nicole. Good job.

Mommy and Nicole are trying to relive their youth

at years old in Miami.

First off, I'm .

It's called a midlife crisis.

Do you know what a midlife crisis is?

I don't know.

Oh, okay. All right, fine, so it's a midlife crisis.

It's like a quarter-life crisis.

Fine, it's a third. Third-life crisis.

Can I have a kiss? That's a blue kiss.

♪ We're calling for permission to... ♪

Remember the place we went racing? Was that in Jersey?

[Ronnie] That was you on the Garden State Parkway.

Got 'em.

[laughing] You pyschotic [bleep].

We did go racing in little go-karts.

In go-karts. That was here in Florida.

It was in Florida, right?

Yes. Those things were quick, too.

Yes, they were quick.

It's like an hour away from here, I think.

[bleep] your feelings. We're going to look at nice cars.

♪♪

Listen, we never get a guys' weekend,

so we're gonna do it right.

An exotic car in Miami? What's better than that?

Oh, [bleep], look at that.

It looks like a closed garage.

Mm-hmm. No, it really does.

♪♪

Pleasure. Nice to meet you.

This place is phenomenal.

You know, he's got vintage cars from old Ferraris

to Lambos to Jaguars. $ million cars.

Like, this is how life is supposed to be lived.

And this is probably the rarest car here.

There's only five or six of these in the US.

It's called the DTM Mercedes.

Vinny, this has got your name all over it.

Yeah, right? [laughs]

Bentleys, Lamborghinis. This is like...

this is my garage at home.

I'm just kidding. It's really not.

I have, like, a ten-year-old Mercedes.

So this is our members' lounge.

[Pauly] So cool. Like a man cave.

So what are the chances of us using something today?

Yeah, maybe test-drive something.

Cool. Yeah, of course, you guys, of course.

Let me check out what we have.

Thank you.Yeah.

This place is dope.Yeah, this is cool.

[Mike] Ooh, some cheeses.

Oh, my God, dude.

What do we got? Some che... oh!

I'll have your finest cheeses.

Every different type of cheese and mozzarella and prosciutto.

Got a little supersize in the areas.

[laughs]

Roasted peppers.

Oh, yeah.

Whew!

Mmm!

Mike, how many of these did you have?

I had a Ferrari, a Ferrari,

a California Ferrari, a Lamborghini Gallardo,

a Porsche , M Jeep.

Where'd they all go?

[laughs] "Where'd they all go?" [laughs]

This has definitely been a sweep for Mike

because a guy and his cars is like his toys.

Take those toys away, it's like taking toys away from a kid.

I had to downsize.Understandable.

Now I'm rolling deep with the Camrys.

[laughs] Humble pie.Was it an SE or...?

I don't roll that hard.

Does it have anti-lock brakes?

Yo, it doesn't even have AC.

Leather? Leather? No.

So Mike's excited to have these toys again,

but I think it brings back memories

of that he used to have nice cars.

I traded all that in for a beautiful wifey.

Hey, there you go. Money can't buy that.

Money can't buy that.

♪♪

[Nicole] So, what did you have to do for homework?

[Lorenzo] Read it.

"Bring in a collection

of things on attached paper."

Okay. These are things? Are you sure?

All right, tell me what you have on here.

So, what do you have? This looks like ronis.

What's this? My candy?

Mommy!

Dude, I'm a mom, I'm a wife,

so being here just gives me life.

Can I eat this? No!

Oh, sorry. What's this?

What's this? You destroyed my flowers?

Mommy.

You just picked random stuff in the house.

My kids are such hams, and I love it.

They're just so cute.

[laughs]

♪♪

[engine revs]

Oh! Ooh! Ooh!

Oh! Ooh!

I just cheated.

I hope this guy has got insurance on that Lambo.

We're driving exotic cars in Miami.

Like, this is "Bad Boys II," "Miami Vice."

Appreciate it, my man. Thanks a lot.

When you think of Miami, you think of

driving Lamborghinis and stuff,

next to the palm trees and the beaches.

We're doing it, we living, we out here.

♪♪

Yo, this is living life right now.

♪♪

♪♪

Yo, if you get girls, put 'em in the back of here.

We've got... we got room.

[laughs]

[Ronnie] When the girls are gone, the boys will play.

Slow down.[laughs]

♪♪

Your hottest weekend.

♪♪

The best day of my life!

You can't put me behind... [laughing]

I've had a lot of exotic cars in my life,

and this brings back good memories.

It really does. I've lived a very full life,

but what I have right now is priceless.

I'm happy where I'm at right now.

I don't want the girls to ever come back.

Me neither! [laughs]

♪♪

[Deena] So I'm thinking when we get home,

since we're gonna try having a baby soon,

we should go on maybe like a little vacation together.

You're on vacation right now, actually.

Babe, I'm gonna need a vacation from this vacation.

You need a vacation from your vacation? Yes.

I see Nicole and Jenni and I see how great of moms they are

and I see how cute their kids are,

and I just can't wait to have a baby.

And we'll have a little meatball walking around.

And then we'll go on vacation with the baby.

Yeah. It'll be nice.

They're gonna be the cutest little things.

Between me and Chris, they're gonna be, like, this big.

[laughs]

Love you. Love you.

So happy to be home.

♪♪

[Pauly] Mike's transformed into this nice guy.

He's almost like too nice.

[line ringing]

Us guidos, we like to [bleep] with each other,

so I have an idea to see if he really changed.

[Angelina] Hello? Angelina.

Who's this? It's Pauly D.

Prank wars!

What's up? Oh, my God.

What are you doing?

♪♪

[Pauly] I gotta talk to you guys, but I don't want Mike around.

[Vinny] Oh, hey, Sam. [Ronnie] Can she be part

of the conversation too or...?

[Pauly] Yeah. She doesn't got a big mouth.

So, are we coming out of the closet?

No, but I did not want Mike around,

'cause that boy cannot keep a secret,

and this is kind of like on him a little bit.

So, you guys have been roasting

the [bleep] out of each other, right?Yeah.

And your boy's been going low.

I have your mic drop moment where you can go even lower.

How can I get any lower than what I already say?

Hear me out. What if we...

surprise that [bleep] with Angelina?

What? What?

[bleep]!

♪♪

That's a prank on all of us.

Was that a knock?[knocking]

[knocking]Maybe it's the girls.

Probably the girls but they need help with their luggage.

The Staten Island Ferry is about to dock.

Oh, my God, I'm nervous.Me too.

Oh, yeah? You think I'm a dirty little hamster?

Oh, [bleep]!

♪♪

I have, like, the most epic prank ever.

I have you a mic drop moment.

What if we... hear me out...

surprise that [bleep] with Angelina? Epic.

What? What?

[bleep]! Am I being punked?

We'll bring her here. We'll fly her out here.

I had this idea of flying Angelina to Miami

to prank the whole house, but then, a little kumbaya.

We need to bring in a little villain to stir things up.

Right? You know how much...? [laughs]

Stop. Just hear me out.

[bleep] that. I'm leaving.Hear me out, hear me out.

I'm leaving, I'm leaving.Hear me out.

No, they didn't. No, they didn't!

You know how much he hates her?

You know how much she hates him?

You know what you're good at? You're good at being a h*.

Just shut the [bleep] up now!

You shut the [bleep] up!

Get out of my face!

So you bring that girl in, mic drop moment.

Roast that! Prank w*r champion!

This is a prank w*r, and Pauly is like a kamikaze pilot just...

[imitates expl*si*n] taking everyone out with Angelina's a*s.

Picture his face when you bring her in this house.

Picture my face when I bring her into this house.

That's what I'm saying.What are you talking about?

And actually, I've been talking to her. She's down.What?

We've just got to make a phone call, make it all happen.

We'll fly her out here tomorrow or something or whatever.

And then... [laughs]

Hey, yo, listen. Listen, wait, hear me out.

Bro, I cannot...

When you roast him...Do not, bro.

[Ronnie] This isn't a prank just on Mike or the girls.

It's a prank on all of us.

I don't think Pauly really thought this through.

That's why he's a DJ.

That's a prank on everyone.

Wait, wait, no, no, no.

It does k*ll a lot of birds with one stone,

'cause the girls... This is gonna be

an amazing prank. This is a prank w*r.

I totally have a love/hate for this prank.

Shut the [bleep] up, you [bleep], you [bleep]!

It's like setting off fireworks inside the house.

Bring it on! Bring it the [bleep] on!

Sleep with one [bleep] eye open.

I'm here to make you sweat it out.Okay.

It's the most epic prank ever, so I'm happy about it,

but I'm also terrified.

It's like throwing gasoline into a fire.

I'm just waiting to see if Jenni

knocks her the [bleep] out, to be honest.

Jenni wants to fight her, like...

Nah. They'll be besties.

It's up in the air as to what is actually

going to happen. Like, are the girls

gonna be so mad they're gonna want to leave?

Or is Mike gonna flip out? Like, I don't know.

There's so much that could go wrong.

There's so much that could go great.

Well, you know she's gonna come in here

and try to, like, redeem herself.

Yeah, she's coming in [bleep] flaming hot.Yeah.

Hey. [groans]

Whatever it takes to make a prank happen.

Prank w*r champion!

Yo, this is gonna get some real reactions, bro.

The girls feel a type of way about Angelina.

[Vinny] The best part about Angelina coming here

is seeing their reactions.

I mean, Mike, his jaw is gonna drop.

And then the girls, like, they always look surprised

because of their surgery, but Angelina

is actually gonna make JWoww's eyebrows move.

That's how shocking it is.

Oh, my God.Oh, my God.

I see this already in my head.

This is so crazy.

This is gonna be so [bleep].

This is so [bleep].Yo, [bleep].

I thought things couldn't get any weirder.

[laughter]

Enter Angelina.Oh, man.

Yo, the Rob Kardashian of Staten Island

is coming to Miami!

♪♪

♪ I'ma get my revenge

♪ I'ma get my payback ♪

♪ I'ma get my payback [line ringing]

♪ I'ma get my payback [Angelina] Hello?

Angelina, it's Pauly D. What's good?

What is up?I wanted to see if you

were still down to come. Oh, my God.

On a scale from to , I'm at ,

of how excited I am for this. This is gonna make history.

Redeem yourself. I mean, we did this

with you in the beginning."Redeem yourself"?

We want to do it with you now, so...

Yeah. I would totally do that.

I haven't seen you guys in so long.

That's what's up. I'm glad you're down.

Oh, this [bleep] house was so peaceful.

The girls are gonna be...

They're gonna be so mad at us, bro.

The last time in Miami, Angelina and Snooki

got into a physical fight.

Bring it on, b*tch!

Oh!

Her and Jenni almost got into a physical fight.

[Jenni] You can stay and get your [bleep] a*s beat.

You can stay and get your [bleep] a*s beat.Okay.

All right.You can stay and get your [bleep] a*s beat.

I think she even hit Pauly.

You just don't care. Like, seriously.

This b*tch is crazy.

See you soon. Bye.

Damn, dude, she's coming. [laughs]

[bleep] gonna get [bleep]. I already see it.

It's like a play. It's like watching "Hamilton."

It's gonna be [bleep] awesome. [laughs]

So if Jenni throws her in the bay,

she throws her in the bay. [laughs]

Stay, get your a*s thrown in the bay.

Stay, get your a*s thrown in the bay.

Or you could stay and get your a*s thrown in the bay.

Jenni's gonna k*ll her, bro.

Did you get good insurance on this house or what?

Oh, yeah. Okay, good.

Angelina is about to hit Miami. It's a category .

Tape up all your windows. Board up all your doors.

I don't care what you guys do.

Hide your wife, hide your kids.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut up!

'Cause the Staten Island dump is about to arrive.

It's always me! It's always [bleep] me in this house!

She's coming with her trash bag luggage.

Oh, she brought her luggage? I didn't know that.

[laughs]

Do you still think I'm a dirty little hamster?

I didn't even know you were alive.

Oh!

[bleep] you!

♪♪

[Angelina] Gonna go down there, gonna have fun.

It's been eight years.

Like, if they're not gonna be cool with me,

if they wanna keep, like, talking crap

and not letting go of the past,

then that's on them. Screw you!

Deep down, like, I really wanted this one day

in my life to happen and it's, like, actually happening,

so I'm really happy right now.

So long, Staten Island.

The new Angelina's coming for you, Miami.

♪♪

Wake up, Keto guido. Keto guido.

Wake up, you Keto guido. Skinny Vinny.

T minus eight hours 'til Angelina.

It is like Christmas morning, waiting for my presents.

I can't believe this is actually happening.

Yo, you want to go to Big Thing and get some food?

Sounds good to me.

All right. That's the plan.

Now let's get the real plan.

[laughs] [laughs]

Hey, guys.

[Vinny] Angelina, she kind of brings, like,

an eerie feeling about her. You know,

it's not like Santa Claus is coming to town.

It's like the opposite.

Like Jurassic Park, like when, like,

the cup of water is sitting there and then, like,

you just hear, like, dun, dun,

and you see, like the water shaking.

That's Angelina walking through Miami.

Let's go. I'm driving. The Designation is driving.

[Vinny] But the thing that's keeping me excited is just the fact that,

like, what's Mike's face gonna look like?

What are the girls' faces gonna look like?

And I'm so happy Pauly came up with this idea.

It's gonna be epic.

♪ CEO status, braggin' who's the baddest ♪

♪ The rickowap rad

♪ It's sad you want static

We're gonna dine like kings. Yeah.

Yeah, sounds good to me.

[laughs] Tight. This is tight, right?

Yeah.

Look at that Oreo cheesecake right there. Holy [bleep].

Oh, Mike's ordering cheesecake.

Wow! I'm gonna get my French toast.

Ah!The world's most epic prank is gonna go down tonight.

I hope she comes in with trash bags.

I want to see his face. That's all I want to see is his face.

I still think he's too dumb to realize it's for him.

I mean, I'd say the girls are gonna get,

like, the brunt of it.

I can't wait. Um, hello!

I feel like I'm dropping a huge grenade

in this house right now. With the Sammi doll,

I was just warming up. I'm the prank w*r champion!

I might have to romance myself sometime today

because it's about that time.

He said "romance himself."

I never heard that before. That's hilarious.

What does that mean? You buy your [bleep]

flowers or something? [laughs]

Take it out to dinner? Yep.

Tongue kiss it? [laughs]

Listen, to stay loyal out here in Miami...

We all know, guys, you know what I'm saying?

And we all do it, all right? So stop lying to yourself.

The girls come back today.

I wish the girls were gone for, like...

...way longer. Yeah.

[laughter]

♪♪

[laughs]Right?

I mean it. Let's hide behind this. Ow!

I feel like I have a refresh. I saw my kids,

I saw my husband. I feel like myself again.

Super excited to come back.

[groans] God, this is heavy.

Where's the bar?

I'm ready to start this vacation again.

I feel like the house is gonna be a mess.

A mess is right.I already [bleep] know it.

[duck phone quacks]

[whispering] Get it, get it. Hurry, hurry.

[duck phone quacks]

Hello.

Hey, guys, we just landed!Shh!

What's up, girls?

Oh, it's the girls.

We were delayed so we had a lot of wine.

Oh, my God.

[talking gibberish]

They're wasted.Oh, my God.

[Ronnie] Oh, my God.

And just when you thought the prank couldn't prank any more,

the girls are coming home.

We're gonna keep drinking on the plane.

All right. Well, we'll see you soon.

We'll see you soon. All right, see you soon.

Bye! Bye!

They're wasted, dude. It was all three of them.

Oh, my God, it's all happening.

We've all been so peaceful to each other.

We've had, like, a couple little catty fights,

but Angelina, the rules do not apply to her.

Like, if she starts busting our ba*ls,

it's gonna be madness and this could be the thing

that actually breaks the house apart.

Oh, I'm not ready for this.

Yeah, buddy. This is gonna be a movie.

♪♪

Wow. I want to bask in it. Just want to bask in it.

This is the prank of all pranks. Epic.

Wait 'til the girls get here [bleep] up.

That's gonna be the ill prank. Are you guys ready for this?

Are you ready for this? You set this whole thing up.

Mike has no idea what the [bleep]'s about to go down.

You are the dirtiest girl I've ever met!

Oh, well, you're a dirtbag

and your p*nis should fall off

'cause you're disgusting, 'cause you're disgusting.

This is the calm before the storm right now.

So, what's up?

Hey, yo, you gonna help with dinner or what?

Yes, yes, yes, Jesus.

All right, what are we making, boys?

We've got corn.This looks great.

And we've got the Kobe burgers.

We've got the Kobe burgers, got steak.

The grill's on.The grill's on?

All right, I'm gonna start setting the table.

Nice, low-key night, you know what I mean?

I have to wipe this [bleep] down.

Act natural. Natural, natural, natural.

I'm gonna get him all set up.

I want to make sure he answers the door.

You gotta help me sell that. [laughs]

Oh, candles?Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Wow.

The girls are gonna be really happy.

Make it all nice for the girls to come.

Candle it up.

It's almost like you haven't seen 'em

in eight years. [laughs]

Ron, shut the [bleep] up.

I didn't even say anything.

Yeah, there was no bar.

There's no bar down here. We passed all the bars.

Punch her in the arm. See what you do. Exactly.

I don't want to punch her in the arm.

Aah! [laughs]

You punched me in the forehead.

You hit me!

That was like a Mike hit.

I'm sober now.

Yeah, she's so sober.

♪♪

Team Tripod! Party two's here! Party three's here!

♪♪

All right, you guys ready to eat? Oh, yeah.

Hell, yeah. Salud. Salud.

Salud. Great job, Vin. Yeah.

Chop those up, chop up avocado, and put some goat cheese,

onions, and oil. It's so good.

[line ringing]

[Angelina] Hello? Yo, all good now.

It's all good. Come through.

All right, all right.

At home, it's gotta be like,

we're having steak and a vegetable.

[Ronnie] The girls missed a banging meal.

Do we know what time the girls are coming in?

They said their flight was delayed.

They'll be here soon.

It's a three-hour flight. Anybody need anything?

♪♪

The Staten Island Ferry is about to dock.

I'm excited. No, I'm not.

♪♪

We have a...[knocking]

Was that a knock?

[knocking]Get that, please.

Yo, what happened to... It could be...

Maybe it's the girls.

Oh, sh**t, it's probably the girls, brother.

They need help with their luggage.

Oh, my God, I'm nervous.Me too.

♪♪

Oh, yeah? You think I'm a dirty little hamster?

Oh, [bleep]!

Prank w*r champion for life.

Yo, who sent you?

[laughter]

♪♪[knocking]

Get that, please.Yo, what happened to... It could be...

Maybe it's the girls.

Oh, sh**t, it's probably the girls, brother.

They need help with their luggage.

Oh, my God, I'm nervous.Me too.

You got your popcorn for this show?

I got my popcorn. You got your popcorn?

I got my popcorn.

I got candy, too, and a can of soda.

♪♪

Oh, yeah? You think I'm a dirty little hamster?

What the [bleep]?

Get out of my face.

Yo, shut your mouth, you dirty little hamster!

Oh, [bleep]!

This is the ghost of dirty little hamsters past.

Yo, who sent you, yo?

[laughter]

[Pauly] Mike saw a ghost when he answered the door.

[Mike] Dirty little hamster.

I've never seen Mike so pale in my life.

Y'all did this? Mic drop!

Do you still think I'm a dirty little hamster?

No, not at all. I didn't even know you were alive.

Oh!

[bleep] you! Oh, my God.

Um, hello!

Damn, you're [bleep] tan, Ron.

Thank you.Holy [bleep].

Okay. All I have to say is,

what in dirty little hamster is happening here?

[laughter]

I could also call you [bleep] Popeye

on crack, if I wanted to.All right,

all right, all right. Oh!

Let's get past this. I think I won this one.

Let's get past this.

I mean, it's been [bleep] eight years.

It's eight years later. How are you?

Great. How are you?How are you?

I told you he's nice now.And don't [bleep] with me or else

I'm gonna cut your hair while you're sleeping.

Whoo! Damn!

Where are the girls at? Where are they?

They're visiting family and they'll be here soon.

I think the girls are gonna be like crazy, crazy freaked out.

They weren't expecting this.

But they don't know you were coming here either.

Oh, no.

These girls, they hated me. Who knows what they're gonna do?

But at the end of the day,

this is a chance to redeem myself with these people.

Are you engaged now?All right.

Yes, I am.Congrats.

For the third time.Third time?

Third time?Third time's a charm.

Is this one gonna last?

Yeah. He's a sanitation worker for New York,

so it's like good, you know?

Full circle, full circle.

It is so ironic and hilarious that Angelina

is engaged to somebody in the sanitation department.

She's gonna have free luggage for life, AKA garbage bags.

Oh, my God.

Wow, you guys really got me, bro.

I had no [bleep] idea.

He's still in shock right now.

Pauly. Dude, this is one of the craziest pranks I've ever seen.

He usually doesn't talk at the table

when there's food in front of him.

This is the most talking he's ever done.

Can I ask, why did you block me on Twitter?

I blocked you because there was an article

on one of the tabloids. It said something like,

"Angelina says she slept with Mike The Situation

and he's got a small piece."

I never said that I slept with you.

We hooked up, but we never slept with each other.

Exactly.But you did say he had a small [bleep].

I said that you... yeah.

Oh!

% I said it about you. I never said I slept

with you, but I said that you had, yeah.

I was like, listen, that's [bleep] up.

We had hooked up in the past, but she never [bleep],

you know what I mean? Therefore,

I didn't like the fact that she was making [bleep] up,

but I understand you were pissed.

Mike is getting so defensive that Angelina

is saying he has a small p*nis.

Now, if you said I had a small piece but you've never seen it,

how can you make such a judgment call?

This is a small issue.

Like, it's a tiny, tiny, tiny problem.

I didn't say that I hooked up with you or had sex with you.

Okay, okay, fine, fine, fine, fine.

It's miniscule.

You were just slandering my good name.

Oh, your great name that you had.

Yo, stay out of this.[laughs]

It's so small that you can't even see it.

Wait, how big is your [bleep]? No, I'm kidding. [laughs]

Prove it. Let's see.

Listen, um, I'll accept your apology.

He's like, I'll accept your apology, if you want to give one.

I'm sorry for saying that you had a small [bleep].

Okay, thank you, and I'm sorry for being immature

and, um, fat-shaming you when we were in our twenties.

Thank you.

Never did I ever think that Angelina and Mike

would ever be sitting down at the same table,

apologizing to each other.

I feel like I'm in "The Twilight Zone" right now.

I'm happy that you changed and I changed,

because you really kind of made me...

Like, it was kind of bad.

Yeah, no, but at the same time...

You've got to admit it. I was a d*ck to you.

You were. And you were a real d*ck to me.

Yes, yes, ,%.

Honestly, pfft.

Where is Mike and what have you done with him?

Because this is not the Mike that I remember. Holy [bleep].

Now, the real question is, how are the girls gonna be?

They'll be fine.Everybody grew up now.

[Jenni] We drank a couple bottles of wine.

You think they're gonna try to fight me?

If you have the same attitude you have now, they'll be fine.

Jenni, Nicole, Deena, they're grown up. They're more mature.

I'm sweating in my butt crack. Can you see it?

Ew, you're sweating?

[sighs] You really never know with them.

[Vinny] But I think Angelina has the power

to bring the JWoww out of Jenni,

Angelina has the power to bring the Snooki out of Nicole

and the "Mean-a" out of Deena, and it's gonna get crazy.

Oh, yeah! Angelina, yeah!

Back in the house.

Hello? Party's here!

[Pauly] Hey, girls. Hey!

Hey!

Hey, hi!

[laughs]

Why is she here?

Oh, my God, that's [bleep] Angelina.

Why? Why?

We love you.

Why the [bleep] are you here? Why are you here?

You're here because you're a [bleep] chew toy.

No, I'm not.Watch.

I don't really care, but I'm staying.