01x11 - Angelina Leaves Her Mark!

[bunniefuu]

Not once did you try to make amends in eight [bleep] years.

Eight [bleep] years. How am I gonna make amends to you?

Why the [bleep] are you here?

You're here because you're a [bleep] chew toy.

Is that your piece, Mike?

I love Funfetti, it's my favorite cake.

I don't drink, I don't drug.

But food, give it to Big Daddy Sitch.

Living my best life right now.

The storm has calmed.

Nicole and Angelina are getting along.

Oh, my God, Nicole!

Oh, God.

I would like to get to know you more.

We need to break the news to her that, like, you have to leave.

I just don't want her to spiral and be a b*tch.

But I don't wanna get to know you more here.

♪ Here I come

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now.

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frick out of here, you crazy!

♪ Here I come

You are a good person. But I must say

I feel like the seven of us came in together.

We started out strong. We have to end strong.

I like Angelina. But we need to break the news to her,

like, listen, you have to leave.

And I'm hoping she accepts it

and she's, like, "Well, thank you, guys."

And not be, like, "Um, hello!"

Um, hello!

I just don't want her to spiral and be a b*tch.

I would like to get to know you more. Oh, God.

But I don't wanna get to know you more here.

Oh, God. Starting tomorrow...

Oh, God. We need to stay...

Oh! Seven.

Holy [bleep].

We need to finish as a family.

And we hope that you're okay with that.

We really do.

I'm, I'm cool with it, like, I get it.

I totally get it.

So, you're not mad?

I'm not mad at all. I was able to be part

of something that, like, I always regretted and, like...

You came here. You redeemed yourself.

'Cause you guys don't know me out of here at all.

We don't but we wanna know you out of here.

We wanna exchange numbers with you.

Telling Angelina this was much easier

than I thought it was gonna be.

And actually shows a lot about Angelina as a person,

her maturity and who she is now.

We might even let you in one of our group chats.

Really? Let's not push it, let's...

No, you're wrong there, Vincent.

No, you're wrong, Vincent!

Slow it down!

You need to crawl before you walk!

Sorry.

Honestly, I've been wanting to be accepted

by this group for eight years.

Eight years is a long time.

Toast to Angelina!

And I'm just happy now that I'm finally accepted

and they finally are getting to know the me that I am,

and I can walk out of here with my head up high now.

It's Angelina's last night and we need to go somewhere.

Let's rage.

♪♪

I like you, Angelina.

[laughing]

♪♪

[Angelina] This is gonna be my last night, screw it.

I'm gonna have a freaking, epic night.

I'm gonna go crazy, let loose.

Nicole was getting drunk. I was getting drunk.

Deena was getting drunk. We were all getting drunk.

Yes, I love it!

Tonight is definitely a celebration, like, hey,

this is new beginnings for me and for them.

Everyone's getting along,

and it's a really cool last night for Angelina.

♪♪

She showed she's a nice girl and we're gonna celebrate her.

I like her. I do.

Oh, my God!

You okay? You okay?

It is nice that, like, the dirty little hamster's

stepping her game up.

And she's having a really good time here.

And I am enjoying her company.

I'm, like, mind-blown that she actually changed this much.

I feel like we're gonna give her a chance

and hang out with her outside of the house.

Who farted?

I swear I didn't fart.

I didn't either. Did you fart?

It was me. Oh, my God, Angelina.

Angelina, you farted?

I have to take a dump.

I'm so sorry, guys.

I think it's just the beach.

I sharted in my pants.

I'm walking home. You sharted.

No, I-- Not just a shart.

I [bleep] in my pants. I'm so sorry.

No, I really don't think you [bleep]. I think...

Can I show you my underwear?

All right, I [bleep] in my pants.

There's really [bleep] in there?

I can't...

I think it is on the seat actually.

Did you [bleep] on the seat?

Did you [bleep] on the seat?

Oh, my gosh, it's all over her.

Angelina is a literal [bleep] show right now.

I [bleep] on the seat.

Where?! I'm not moving.

Get me the [bleep] out of here.

Wait, wait...

She farted again. Open the [bleep] window again.

Pauly! Pauly!

He cleared out that booth for a hot minute.

That was a strong...

The radius on that blast was...

It does smell like that.

[crosstalk]

Oh, my God, it does.

I'm sorry, Angelina, but it stinks back there. I can't.

Did she really...

It smells like poop back there.

[all laughing]

I gotta get out.

Yo, poor [bleep], I gotta get out right now.

[crosstalk]

I'm gonna throw up. I'm going to throw up.

Oh, my God!

I have to shart again, hold on.

Open the door, I'm gonna throw up.

[screams]

She's leaving on a good note. Yes.

Angelina?

Yup.

Let me change my [bleep] panties, please.

Angelina [bleep] herself. She is frickin' nuts!

I'm a meatball, but this is the most bizarre thing

I've ever seen in my entire life.

I'm gonna put 'em in a bag so I can bring 'em home with me.

[laughter]

Who even says that?

Angelina [bleep] her pants!

Stop it! Stop.

Yo...

[Nicole] Angelina [bleep] her pants.

Angelina [bleep] her pants. On the [bleep] ride back.

Nuh-uh.

Swear.

She used to be known, to be called, what,

the Staten Island dump. Staten Island dump.

[both] And now she took a Staten Island dump.

I'm going to take my "shoeses" off.

Going to the bathroom. She did, like, a shart. Where is she going?

She did a shart. Is she in my room?

She's right there.

Angelina! Did you poop your pants?

No. It was, like, period [bleep].

Period... I'm gonna throw up.

[laughter]

It was period [bleep]. It's girl's [bleep].

[all laughing] It was period [bleep].

[muffled chatter]

Angelina's like, "No, no, no, no, no,

it's fine, it's just a period [bleep]."

What's a period [bleep]?

Like, I don't understand what this means.

You guys want me to be real. I'm being [bleep] real.

No, it's not. This is not real, though. No, don't, please don't.

Be fake as [bleep]. Be-- [laughing]

It was period [bleep].

I would love to know what a period [bleep] is.

What is it, girl?

I farted and I thought it was, like, something else.

But it wasn't something else. It was, like...

I would squeeze my cheeks...

Period, it's, like, period, period.

[imitates expl*si*n] Like, what?

You stepped up your hamster game, bro.

You really did.

You made Ronnie look [bleep] clean as [bleep] right now.

I [bleep] like in a, in a toilet.

[laughter]

Even say I did shart, whatever, okay? I would...

No, you don't say it.

You just [bleep] go to the bathroom.

I would just be super quiet and be, like...

Well, the good news is at least no one's gonna find out.

Like, absolutely, no one will ever know...

Angelina...

[both] ...took a dump.

I'm not gonna tell anybody. I'm not telling anybody.

Between you and I-- I'm not even gonna tell you anymore.

Pinky promise.

What? Anything.

No one's gonna find out. It's not gonna leave this room.

I'm stress eating.

Wait, what just happened? Have you not been here?

She [bleep] in the cab.

No, you did not.

We like you. We're not, like, saying we don't like you.

We just don't want your [bleep] on us.

[laughter]

Mike, if I [bleep] in the cab,

you guys would all know I [bleep] in the cab.

All right, all right, all right, all right.

Guys, you wanna see my [bleep] pants right now?

I will show you my underwear. No!

[laughter]

[Nicole] Oh, my God!

Angelina, back here taking a [bleep]!

I ain't gonna tell nobody else, man. You got my word.

Angelina [bleep] in her pants.

All right, I [bleep] my pants.

[shrieks]

Did you poop your pants?

It was like period [bleep].

Angelina's like, "Nah, nah, nah, I didn't crap my pants.

It was a period [bleep]."

I'm like, ugh, what the [bleep] is that?

You guys, you wanna see my [bleep] pants right now?

No!

[slow-motion yelling] No!

[slow-motion] I'm out!

[slow-motion yelling] No!

[slow-motion yelling] Taking fire!

Did I [bleep] in my [bleep] pants, Deena?

Let's see the underwear.

Deena, is there [bleep] [bleep] in it?

[overlapping shouting]

Angelina, what happened?

I didn't [bleep] my pants. Did I [bleep] my pants?

No, you wanna show Nicole them?

Please?Sure.

What-- Where-- What the [bleep] world am I living in right now?

[laughing] Is there [bleep] [bleep] in my pants?

I've never in my life seen a woman take out her underwear

and show people if there are skid marks are there

just out in the open. Like, what the [bleep] is going on?

She's still showing her skid marks.

Why, though? Why?

This is-- This is really happening in my house.

A girl [bleep] her pants.Why?!

The Staten Island dump took a Staten Island dump.

I didn't [bleep] shart in my pants.

I had period [bleep] in my pants,

so that's all that matters.

You're the DLH.

I'm a dirty little hamster. You know, Mike, it fits me. That's too clean.

That's all I know. Eww.

All right. What the [bleep] is going on?

And Vinny, you took a-- You farted real bad in the club.

I know I did. So let's not even go there.

Yeah, dude, you farted, bro.

Angelina, you can't compare me farting in the club to,

"Look, do I have [bleep] [bleep] in my underwear?" Vinny--

"Oh, wait, guys! It's not [bleep], it's period [bleep]!"

Girl, what the [bleep]?

Like, you could've ended on a high note.

[laughing]

Like, a lot of weird [bleep] happens in this house.

But this [bleep] is really [bleep] up [bleep].

[bleep] happens. I'm done talking about it 'cause I can't.

[bleep] happens.

I'ma prank w*r champion! I'ma prank w*r champion!

I'ma prank w*r champion! But...

Pranked yourself.

I done, I done pranked myself.

♪♪

[gasping]

Stop! Fine.

♪♪

It was supposed to be, like, a girl thing

in the cab, like, as a joke.

Like, I don't know. We changed the subject already.

It just didn't happen the way I expected it.

Like, I just thought it was like funny.

We changed the subject, it's okay.

♪ [bleep] it up, [bleep] it up, [bleep] it up ♪

♪ [bleep] it up, [bleep] it up, [bleep] it up ♪

Why are you mad? Oh, I'm not mad.

I'm a little grossed out, I'll be honest.

[boys laughing] There we go. Very good.

I'm gonna change.

[boys laughing, chattering]

I feel like everything was going smoothly,

and then this happens.

It's like this can't get any worse, like, great.

And I'm just like, so bummed out.

I'm thinking that all the guys think I'm a pig and I'm gross,

and everyone in this house is gonna think I'm dirty now.

[sighs] I'm gonna leave this house like this?

Like, I didn't want to leave like on this,

with, like, this going on.

All right, I'm going to sleep.

All right, I'm gonna go to sleep.

♪♪

Oh, God. Everything was so great,

and then I feel like I ruined it because

everyone in this house thinks I [bleep] in my pants.

[whispering] You good?

[whispering] I'm upset. I'm upset.

I just feel stupid.

I figured, let me go talk to Nicole

out of everybody because she, out of anyone in this house,

has had a lot of drunken nights.

So she definitely will know how I feel.

[sighs] I look like death.

Why are you crying?

'Cause it's, like, embarrassing like,

that I [bleep] whatever on the cab ride here.

It's like, and now everyone's gonna judge me, I feel like.

But it is what it is. Like, I'm embarrassed.

We're not judging you. The guys are.

The girls, whatever. The guys are the guys,

they bust our ba*ls. That's what they do.

No offense, but you don't get that

because you haven't lived with us.

But like, I get that-- Why are you upset then?

'Cause I-I just--

If you know how Pauly is, why are you upset?

'Cause I just feel like I didn't want--

I don't want to leave like this.

Like, looking like a pig.

We're talking about sharts.

[sniffling, chuckling]

You're crying over a shart.

I know. [sniffles]

I fart always in my sleep.

And I'm like, "Oh, my God, I hope they didn't hear."

But am I leaving on a bad note now

because they think I'm a pig?No! No.

I'm sitting here, I'm so [bleep] tired

and I'm sitting here with you because I feel bad. Thank you. Thank you.

You're the best. And I don't like seeing people cry.

You're, like, arguing over a fart.

Nicole definitely felt bad for me,

so she's trying to make me feel better.

Like, not many girls can be open about them farting,

burping, this and that. Like, hey.

I can't believe I cried over a fart.

I know. How embarrassing.

That was an emotional [bleep].

[belches]

I just want a vacation from this house.

Like the Bahamas? Bimini and all that? Yeah.

Vinny! Yay!

[all cheering]

Okay, Vin, pick up the phone.

How come you don't pick up?

Now I'm gettin' worried.

♪♪

♪ She

♪ She's in love with the band ♪

♪ Now she's riding her bike ♪

♪ Without any hands...

Last night, like, I remember bits and pieces of it,

but I don't remember all of it. But I just-- I had fun.

What the [bleep] happened with me last night?

Um, lots of things.

All right, I [bleep] my pants.

[shrieks]

Well, listen, I was having fun.

It was my last night here. I was having fun.

You had-- You had a blast, girl.

Oh, hi, Pauly. Literally.[yawns]

That was an eventful night. I had fun.

I was trying to explain-- I just told them,

I haven't had a bottle to my mouth in years like that.

It was fun, right? It was fun.

Good. Staten Island dump took a Staten Island dump in Miami.

Oh, my God, guys. I don't know what to say.

I'm literally [bleep].

Years ago, I was insecure.

Now I'm like, I don't even give a [bleep].

Like, I'm just, like, who I am.

And if somebody doesn't like me, too bad.

I don't give a [bleep].

How was your time here? Fun. A lot of fun.

We all think you changed for the better. For sure.

Um, we still think you gotta work out a couple kinks, but...

[all laughing]

I did want a chance to come back and not leave them again.

Get outta here! Peace out, fake people!

Bye! Yo, you look like you're . Get some [bleep] Botox, bro.

I fought with these people.

[bell rings]

Bring it on, b*tch!

And like, I was just drama and negative.

All of you's in this house are [bleep] fake!

And I want you all to know that I can't stand any of yous!

You know, I've grown up a lot. I wanted to show them

that side of me, and that's what I did.

All right, you wanna help her with her bags?

Yeah, let's do it.

When I leave here, I'm gonna show them

that I'm not just here for a free vacation.

You know what, I hope that our relationship

progresses outside of all this, it would be great.

Let's see if they unblock me.

Somebody get some trash bags.

Angelina's luggage just doesn't look right.

We need to dress it up with some trash bags.

She'll think it's funny. It's a joke.

We put her luggage in some trash bags.

We give her the royal, royal carpet,

and it's trash bags as well.

And then we also seal it with some toilet paper on top.

♪♪

[laughing] You guys are so [bleep]!

Aww! See, she can take a joke.

Come here, come here.

I kno-- Listen.

I cannot confirm or deny who did that, but--

Who is it? Was it you?

Not necessarily. It was definitely you.

No, no, no, it wasn't.

Like, I'm so fortunate,

like, to be here, you know what I mean?

Like, I waited so long for this opportunity.

Like, years. Oh, my God. Hold on, hold on.

'Cause like, it ate away at me for like years.

Cabs are here. Cab's here!

All right. Bye, Angelina.

Bye.

And it's just, like, crazy 'cause, like,

I actually got a chance to come back,

which I didn't think...

And make sure you call me when you get out of here.

Definitely. Good seeing you. Bye-bye.

♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh, no

♪ I don't wanna fight no more ♪

♪ Oh oh-oh oh oh, no...

In Miami the first time, I didn't let my guard down

so people thought I was, like, just a b*tch.

They didn't see the funny side of me.

Now it's like... Like I have,

like, a weight lifted off of me.

Like, it's like, good, you know?

[laughs] What the [bleep] did you guys do?

They have a carpet.

Just in case you didn't know

how to get to the taxi cab.

I feel part of the family now 'cause I'm disgusting like them,

I'm dysfunctional like them.

I've actually always been like that, but like,

now I feel like definitely part of this family.

Bye, Vin. Bye.

Bye, Pauly. Safe travels.

Don't [bleep] in this cab.

I'll try not to [bleep] in this cab, I promise.

All right, thank you.

If this, like, never happens again,

at least I get to say, like, like, damn.

Like, I had fun there.

♪ I don't wanna fight no more ♪

♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh

♪ I don't wanna fight no more ♪

[sighing] Oh, my [bleep].

We got our room back, kid!

Yeah, buddy!

Yo, as nice as I am,

we wouldn't have made days out here with her.

No, no, no, no.

We're our own savages on our level, we sure are.

%.But she is just another level.

Yeah.

I, like, legit love you guys.

Like, I appreciate you so much more after, like, having...

Love you guys too.

This is the crew right here.It is.

Look what happens when you bring another outsider in here.

How stressful was that, though?

That was, like, dumb stressful.

Girl, I was-- You seen me last night.

When did you see me like that? Eight years ago?

I gotta call Jen up and find out what a period [bleep] is.

I don't think it's an actual thing. It is now. Oh, my God.

Like, we need this house [bleep] disinfected.

I just want a vacation from this house.

I'm sick of cleaning it, it's gross.

And these literally--

If we could hire a [bleep] cleaning lady or some [bleep].

Imagine that. We need a vacation from our vacation.

Angelina has finally left.

I need a vacation from this vacation.

You can take both.

Like, there's so many, like, little islands and [bleep].

Like the Bahamas? Bimini and all that, yeah.

Never been to Bimini.

I never been there.

And we come down here all the time, like,

I never, like, took a boat to another island.

And I feel like it's so close. It's like minutes.

That would be sick, you guys.

And literally just like, hours to air out this house.

Let's do it. I'm down. I'm down.

That's awesome. I'm down.

We takin' a vacation from our vacation,

'cause I love a vacation this time of year.

We goin' to Bimini.

Bahamas, baby, here we come.

I'ma get myself a real tan.

Bimini! Cheers to the Bahamas.

Yeah, buddy! [all cheering]

♪♪

[phone line trilling]

[Lauren]Hello? [Mike] Hey, honeys.

Hi, I was just thinking of you.

I've been telling everyone, honeys,

that I'm living my bestest life these days.

[Lauren laughing] Yep.

You are. You are living your best life.

I'm going to the Bahamas.

Well, that'll be fun. A fun trip.

And as soon as I get back,

the 'Bayna is coming to visit me.

[Lauren giggling]

My girlfriend Lauren is coming down here to Miami.

I'm so excited that I can finally propose

to my girlfriend the way that I dreamed.

I'm gonna have lots of surprises when I come home

from the Bahamas for the 'Baynas.

I can't wait.

All right, love you.

I love you too. Bye.

Bye.

♪ I feel good

♪ I feel, feel, feel, feel good ♪

[alarm clock beeping]

♪♪

Morning, Pauly.

Bimini today, yeah!

Good morning!

Today's the day we go to Resort World Bimini!

We takin' a vacation from the vacation.

Resort World Bimini! Resort World Bimini!

Resort World Bimini, we on our way.

Cabs are here. No, they're not.

Yeah, they are.

Oh, yeah!

Oh, God, I gotta pee again.

♪♪

Bimini!

Oh, I love it this time of year!

I have a heavy flow right now.

I don't know if I want to go in the water.

With sharks? They're gonna eat me.

♪ I feel good

♪ I feel, feel, feel, feel good ♪

[duck phone quacking]

This is our one night only here too.

I'm not being extra, Mike. We can't leave without you.

Come on, bro, let's go.

Mike needs some tough love right now.

Come on, let's go. It's ridiculous.

♪ Ain't no stoppin' us

♪♪

This reminds me of daddy's yacht, you know?

My sugar daddy.

[boys laughing]

♪♪

We get to Bimini, and the water is beautiful.

It's just a gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous place.

Thank God we're here. Resort World Bimini.

Welcome, guidos. Where's the drinks?

Oh, there they are. Beautiful.

This is your suite.

[all exclaiming]

Pretty! This is the life.

This is beautiful. I could DJ right here.

Love this.

I love Bimini this time of year.

[all shouting]

Wait, why?

I only wanted to spray a little--

Bro, my Yeezys.

[duck phone quacking]

[classical Italian music playing]

Okay, Vin, pick up the phone.

Before you left, you showed me how to use the phone

and you don't pick up. Now I'm gettin' worried.

I don't understand.

Oh, yeah! Vacation after the vacation.

Some people don't even have one vacation, we got two.

Pauly D positivity. Yeah.

Oh, my God, there's stingrays!

[all shouting]

♪♪Cheers.

Eww. k*ll me.

Look, it's a Ronnie.

Don't pet the Ronnie or get too close.

Look at that! Yo, my guy. My guy, right here.

Yeah, yeah! He ate me, yeah!

[all laughing]

I never thought in a thousand years I'd be feeding stingrays,

it's crazy.

He ate it! That was cool.

How do we know they don't eat Italians?

[shrieks] Oh, my God!

They're like dogs of the sea.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.

Come on. [shrieks]

From what I understand, stingrays do not like meatballs.

We're too little for them.

They want something bigger, something like Mike.

I'm happy where I'm at right now.

Yo, he's charging you.

Yo, come at me, bro!

I haven't seen anything this hungry since Mike.

I'm gonna be living my best life

and ordering room service very soon.

You're hungry again?

[classical Italian music playing]

Talk to Vinny yet? No.

You don't understand what a mother feels

when she can't get in touch with her son.

Pack some clothes, pack up a suitcase.

I'll pack up my little suitcase, go and surprise him.

Come on, we'll surprise him.

It's not a bad idea. You think he'd get mad at me?

No! Paula, remember eight years ago, we went down there?

[all shouting]

Paradise! I'm in heaven!

Don't embarrass me.

We're going there to check on Vinny--

And we'll have a little fun.

We're gonna check on Vinny-- And relax.

Book a flight, make sure he's all right,

and then we'll come home. All right.

♪♪

[all shouting]

Ahoy, matey. I see a ship.

Whoa, are we allowed on it?

We can explore it and [bleep].

♪♪

Going in, b*tches.

[screams]

Oh, my God.

I slipped!

[all laughing]

Pauly, you're in.

I'm not sure the blow-out can handle snorkeling,

so I'ma keep it above the water.

Whoa, like, what lives under here?

Yo, be careful, Vin, I don't got insurance for this.

I am not doing that.

Yo, that [bleep] was hard to climb.

I'ma sit that one out.

No, thank you!

Vinny! Yay!

Bimini!

Let's go back to the hotel.

Yes!

And I didn't even get my blow-out wet.

I'm out here living my bestest life now.

You didn't want to go in?

No, I didn't. I don't like the cold water.

Maybe I'll go in if they have a wet suit.

Mike used to show off his abs if someone looked at him.

♪♪

Now, no one has seen The Situation in a long time.

The Situation right here is currently under new management

and will be open for tours in the latter part of .

So I had to spectate this particular activities.

Hmm.

[classical Italian music playing]

Think we have enough cheese? I think so. I think so.

This is his favorite, the prosciutto with the mozzarella.

And you got the olives.

His favorite olives.

Hey, look. My Speedos are done.

Ew, gross, get that thing outta here.

I just washed 'em. I just washed 'em. I'm not touching that thing.

Oh, I just wa-- Here, look. Wait, wait.

I had 'em dry cleaned. Okay, we're good to go.

Let's get the [bleep] outta here.

Stop yelling at me.

Miami! Here we come, Miami!

Stop screaming.

Nice sunny, sunny weather.

The only thing I seen you do good in this house

is destroy toilets and destroy relationships.

Ohh!

Damn!

I told you, don't come for me.

Oh, [bleep].

Better say that in jail when you drop the soap.

Ohh!

♪♪

[phone line trilling]

Could I have room service please?

I would like shrimp c*ck.

I also would like a chicken fingers and fries.

A bacon cheeseburger deluxe.

Is there anything that you recommend for desserts?

I need to eat every couple hours.

And can I get, uh, two Cokes please?

I like a breakfast, and I like a mid-morning breakfast.

♪ My mojito in the morning sun ♪

And I like a lunch.

Room service.

Mid-day lunch, and then have dinner.

♪ La, la-la-la-la-la

This is great.

♪ La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la

And then a snack.

♪♪

Maybe a midnight snack.

I like my foods.

[sighs] Oh, my God.

Hey, Mikes. You got some foods?

Yep.

Bro, you know we're going to dinner

in like minutes, right? What did you...

Mike's stuffing his face, he ordered room service.

We're gonna eat in a minute.

What is this?

Like some cheese plate they brought in.

Hmm.

I think Mike's eating his heart out right now

because you know what? He knows that if [bleep]

goes south at trial, he only gets three meals a day.

And I hear it's not that good.

Well, I think I ate enough for now.

[Ronnie laughing]

♪♪

Mother[bleep] got two orders of French fries.

♪♪

We about to leave. We're ready to go.

[Mike snoring]

My dude. Hmm?

We gotta wake it up. We finna--

Yeah, the girls are pretty about, about ready.

And then, uh, yeah, they told me

to come grab you and then we'll go.

We're going to eat, and Mike's in a food coma.

So Mike needs to hurry his a*s up.

Where's Nicole?

She doesn't feel good.

I'm not sure if she's gonna come out tonight.

I think she's just gonna chill.

I am so sad Nicole's not coming to dinner.

You know, I get she was sick from the traveling,

but we only have one day in Bimini.

♪♪

He should be down any minute and then we'll be ready to go.

We ain't going anywhere. Mike's still shaving and [bleep].

Is he really shaving?

Yep. In his underwear.

I don't understand.

He doesn't even have any hair on his face.

♪♪

I do not like t*rd.

Mike, we are leaving right now.

I want my [bleep] dinner! Thank you.

Oh, my God, he's still in his [bleep] underwear!

Bro, what are you doing?

We've been waiting for minutes. It's been minutes

since Mike's last meal. He should be ready by now.

You have no consideration for your roommates, dude.

None. It's been [bleep] minutes,

you have no consideration.

This is starting to feel like déjà vu.

♪♪

Oh! What're you doing?

Can't walk me home from the [bleep] club?

[all shouting]

Oh! See what I'm saying?

Like JWoww did to Mike's face...

This is our one night only here too.

I'm not being extra, Mike. We can't leave without you.

Everyone? Come on, bro. Let's go.

Mike needs some tough love right now.

Come on, guys. Mike, we're leaving.

We're leaving with or without you.

Come on, let's go. It's ridiculous.

He's still in his [bleep] underwear.

♪♪

We were hungry, so we left Mike.

Sorry about that, one of roommates is just... Don't worry about it.

He's a lazy... unappreciative [bleep]. He's the worst.

♪♪ Oh, my God.

We can go. Just go. Shut the door. Nah, he's wal--

Nah, it's [bleep] up. He's right there.

Don't do that to him. All right, fine, let him on.

He literally just made it by the skin of his teeth.

I was not being inconsiderate,

so I took offense to you coming at me like that.

Ooh! Mike, I'll be honest,

and I just like being honest at this point. That's fine, that's fine. That's fine.

I do feel like sometimes

you are inconsiderate to the big group. Ooh!

What?! And the timing, and you hold up a lot of things.

I really wasn't, like, wasting time.

I was just waiting my turn. Ron was in the shower,

he did his thing. Ooh!

Soon as Ron was done, I went in there

and I had a little bit of a stomachache so I was like,

I wasn't, you know, wasting time or anything.

Duhh. There's a price to pay for eating all the food,

and this is it. Like, you know?

Is this it? Ooh!

Oh, this is it! How pretty. Thank you.

Ooh! Look at those lights.

This is awesome. Yes!

[Jamaican accent] Feel like I'm on a vacation.

[Jamaican accent] All right, see you on da beach.

This is legit a vacation from our vacation.

I love vacations this time of year.

This place, Luna's, is amazing.

I'm from an island, I'm an islander.

So I relate to the locals, you know what I'm saying?

Like: [Jamaican accent] "What up, man?

You're from Bimini Island, I'm from Staten Island."

Yeah, buddy! Resort World Bimini!

This is like a legit vacation.

So I'm gonna drink my wine and enjoy it.

Get it, D. Me too.

I'm finna have dessert too, probably,

if it doesn't take too long. Yes!

Are you on a vacation?

Are you living your best life?

Why wasn't The Situation out today?

Big Daddy Sitch has a dad bod.

You look amazing.

You look amazing, Mike, you should not be ashamed.

Thank you. I'm not, I just...

I just wanna see you one day take off your shirt and go...

Yes!

[overlapping chatter]

I wanna see that, and go like this.

Yo, the dad bod's in right now.

Girls like it. Cheers to dad bods.

Cheers to Mike and dad bods.

Yes, cheers. Salud. Cheers.

Under construction or not,

I am the ultimate package, baby.

The Situation, aka Big Daddy Sitch.

Mike, when are you popping this question?

Oh, yeah. Couple days.

Oh, wow. That's awesome.

Nice.

Soon as Lauren comes down here.

Wow, that's exciting.

Let's hear your speech.

My speech is... It's gonna be, like, um,

"You're my best friend, my soulmate, my better half.

"You make me a better person.

"Can you make me the happiest man on earth?

Can I please have your hand in marriage?"

Get on one knee.

Beautiful.

I almost shed a tear.

I [bleep] deserve happiness, man,

from all the [bleep] I've been through.

Oh! [drumming]

Ooh!

[drumming]

This is awesome.

There were so many obstacles for me to get here.

The past year, I've been wanting to propose,

I've had this court situation

kind of holding me back a little bit.

But now, I decided that I've found my soulmate.

I wanna bring my girl down here,

bring Lauren down here, and propose.

Let's go. Time for bed, b*tches!

♪♪

[Mike] And we're on the move.

[breaking wind]

Ohh... Eww, Mike!

Mike, get out of here, please! Eww!

♪♪

[overlapping chatter]

Get us out! Get us out!

Ah, [bleep] pulled an Angelina.

[Vinny sighs] Good night, guido.

Bahamas was good, bro.

Bimini.

♪ Hey, bae

♪ Did you hear I'm coming home? ♪

Here we go. We're gonna stay here.

Gonna go see my son. Here I am.

Gonna stay here. I hope so.

I don't know. I haven't heard from him in...

I hope so too. What the [bleep]?

Oh. Lotta houses.

Make sure we get the right house.

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Baby

Hi.

I got, like, pounds worth of sausage in this bag.

[classical Italian music playing]

Vinny!

You just blew my eardrums.

Pauly! Shh!

Michael! [knocking on door]

Ronnie! Where the [bleep] are you guys?

Vin?!

♪♪

Open the [bleep] door.

Yeah, but they can't be there-- Come, push the--

Did they leave it open?

Eh, what the [bleep]?

They leave the door open.

Oh, my God. Vin! Vinny!

There's [bleep] dirty laundry all over the [bleep] place.

Do a load of laundry-- Oh, my God.

You don't pick up the telephone.

Vin, what the [bleep]? You go, tell-- tell him. All right.

Vin, I came down to see you and you're not here.

I don't know where you are. I can't wait to see you, Vin.

And by the way, I love that doll.

And I don't know why you don't pick up the phone, Vinny.

We took a walk around the backyard.

I call you, nobody-- Can you let me talk?

Go, go, go. I'm trying to--

Um, I don't know why you don't pick up the phone, honey.

I gotta put everything in the fridge, Nino.

Oh, you got it?

Yeah, I got it.

♪♪

[Jenni] I think this was needed, though.

Yeah, I had a really good time.

The Bahamas was fricking awesome.

Some people spoke Bohemian.

Hello. Hey. Hello.

It sounded like a cool language.

I didn't learn any Bohemian words,

but I know I'm gonna come back.

Bye, paradise.

I loved the dinner last night.

Mike did, too. Three meals.

Wait a second.

[all laughing]

That's okay, 'cause Ronnie right now

wants to stop at the gift shop

and get a bumper sticker that says

"I love to cheat on my baby moms."

Ohh! Oh, [bleep]! God [bleep]!

He had that one in the chamber.

The only thing I seen you do good in this house

is destroy toilets and destroy relationships.

Ohh!

Damn!

The whole vacation, Ronnie had no idea

why I was calling him "fusillis."

Because your life is spiraling out of control.

Ohh!

Fusilli pasta is, like, very inconsistent and squiggly.

Not like a straight line. Similar to Ronnie's life.

I told you, don't come for me.

Oh, [bleep].

Better say that in jail when you drop the soap.

Ohh!

Another "drop the soap" joke.

Holy [bleep].

Mike got love handles now for [bleep] Bubba.

[all laughing]

Oh, my God.

They're taking it below the belt.

Excuse me, do you have any tissues?

[laughter]

He-- He cries a lot.

Ohh!

I'm just like, holy [bleep].

I don't know if we can take this roast on the yacht.

I wanna get this all out now

'fore somebody throws each other over.

♪♪

Keep coming for me, son. I got a really mean one.

I don't wanna come with it.

I'm sure I've got meaner, believe me.

♪♪

Vacation is officially over.

♪ Come on

♪ Good to be tonight

♪ And in my room Miami nights ♪

♪ It's oh so beautiful

♪♪

Well, I'm gonna call. The house might not

be clean when we get home, so...

Let's all chip in $ for a cleaning lady.

[classical Italian music playing]

Messy Vinny's room.

Vinny's not messy. Vinny's perfect.

♪♪

You never leave your house without making your bed.

Thank you. All right, you guys have a good day.

Yeah, you too. Thank you.

I got a good cigar and a glass of [bleep] wine.

Look at these [bleep], they're gorgeous.

Where the [bleep] is my nephew?

We gonna do things later, me and you.

Either in the dark in the pool,

or in that guest room upstairs that's--

In that "squishy room", whatever they call it.

"Squishy room"? "Squishy room"?

[sighing] What're we gonna eat when we get back?

That's what I'm trying to figure out.

♪♪

I wish there was, like, a mad Italian place

we knew of for cheat day.

But, like, real, like, off-the-boat mother[bleep].

[bleep] named Luigi and [bleep].

♪♪

Today, I'm gonna treat myself.

Pasta, cutlets, [bleep] cheese, bread, wine. Lotta wine.

♪♪

Whoa. I think the house was cleaned. Is it clean?

Yeah, it looks like it. Oh, it smells clean.

[gasping] No way!

Oh, wow.

Oh, my God.

What is this? What're you doing here?

My mom was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner.

Right now, I'm in shock.

I've been calling you for a month,

you don't pick up the phone.

I said, what's the next best thing, right? How are you?

I swear to God, you look like [bleep] Jackie O from here.

Hey-o! Hey-o! Blast that music!

Play some [bleep]...

Uncle Nino's in the back!

God bless Miami!

Oh, my God. Are you [bleep] kidding me?

♪♪

How's my girl? How's my girl doing?

I'll see you later, baby, okay?

Paula, that food ready, Paula? I'm starvin'.

Can't see. Aww!

I am proposing tomorrow.

Hi!

This is, like, the most important day of his life.

What could go wrong?

I'm about to ruin someone's proposal. Oh, God.

You threw a [bleep] pie in my face last night.

I don't wanna make tomorrow happen now.

Yo... I feel insulted.