01x13 - Future Mrs. Situation?

[bunniefuu]

[Jenni] I can't see.

[all] Awwww.

I am proposing tomorrow.

Hi! Hey.

[Vinny] This is, like, the most important day of his life.

What could go wrong?

[Jenni] I'm about to ruin someone's proposal.

Oh God.

What do you mean? ...throw a [bleep] pie

in my face the last day.

I don't wanna make tomorrow happen now.

Yo... I feel insulted.

Everyone else goes, and they [bleep] live their life

and they're [bleep] happy.

And, like, here I am. Same crying-a*s b*tch Ronnie.

♪ Here I come

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now.

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frick out of here, you crazy!

♪ Here I come ♪

[sniffling]

♪ I live on my own...

You're afraid that after she's no longer pregnant...

Then she's gonna go back to her old ways.

Like, you're nervous she's going to

cheat on you. To cheat. Yeah.

'Cause she did before? Yeah.

[tape rewinding]

I want you to be with me 'cause you love me.

Me and the baby, that's on you.

[Ronnie] I just wanna be the best that I can for her.

♪♪

[tape rewinding, tablet trilling]

I have no control. That's why I'm going crazy,

'cause I'm used to having control of my life.

And right now, I have no control.

[tablet trilling]

[tape rewinding]

This is not the Ron I know.

What the [bleep] happened to you?

I think I just miss the feeling of, like, security.

That's so [bleep] hard to find.

I love you. Love you. I miss you.

Do you not feel that with Jen?

No, I don't trust her. I don't. I just don't.

♪♪

[sobbing]

♪♪

Trying to figure out if I could just forget

about [bleep] [bleep] Jenny situation last night.

Bro, I was not expecting that.

I was not expecting that at all.

That came out of nowhere.

Hold on. I'm speaking. I'm speaking.

Just have a better energy...

No. I am speaking right now.

Seeing this side of Jenny

was definitely a little hurtful for me,

because she's like my sister.

I didn't expect her to come at me.

But when she did, it didn't even really make sense.

I couldn't even, like, talk to her

at the dinner table, 'cause she was drunk.

And-- and you know what phrase hit me in the face?

You cannot argue with a fool.

The only thing that proves? That there's two fools.

Yeah, so, whatever. [chuckling]

Exactly, so... [exhales]

[Nicole] I got so scared though last night.

Like, this is the table.

You got up and he got up

and were like... [mocking argument]

And you were screaming at each other.

When was the other opportunity that I would get?

No, you got your [bleep] across.

My friend wants to disrespect me

on the last [bleep] night of this house

after all the things that I'm about to do for you.

It is crossing the [bleep] line.

Okay, fine. Fine. Straight up.

[Jenni] It's really hard for me to be fake,

so I needed yesterday to happen for today to happen,

and me to put my all into his proposal.

Then Pauly had the eyes.

'Cause he never knows what's going on, so he was like...

[laughter]

[Mike]Yo... [Jenni] And feel insulted.

And I was like, "Oh my God ..."

[laughing] I'm so scared.

I was pissed I missed it.

Just between us, it's some really deep-rooted issues here.

So she's not even mad at me, she's mad at somebody else.

[Mike] I don't need this drama.

I just wanna propose to my girlfriend and move forward.

But wait-- she has the ring.

Sméagol has the ri... [laughing]

Has the ring.

Yeah... [clears throat]

So right now, it's time to make amends.

"My precious!"

Yo, I just wanna have an awesome engagement,

and then... you know? Nice little send off.

Send off, and then, if I need to handle something,

then I gotta handle something because it's just principle now.

The pie? You know what I'm saying?

[laughing] You still wanna do it?

[laughing] Oh my God.

You're savage. [chuckling]

Ruthless.

♪♪

[Mike] Good morning. [Jenni] Good morning.

[smooching]

I love you. I hope you love me.

I do. I don't like when we argue.

I don't either.

I love you.Same.

[Jenni] Lauren is Mike's ride or die.

She's been through the trenches with homeboy.

So, I really just want Mike's proposal to be perfect.

Are you excited, Lauren?

You ready to have Girl's Day?

I'm doing Girl's Day. All right, let's go, b*tch.

[Nicole] Lauren just thinks she's going to dinner with Mike,

but, dude, you're getting proposed tonight.

It's gonna be amazing.

Come on, girls. Have a good day.

[Lauren] We shall. Don't talk to strangers.

[laughter] [Nicole] Okay.

You guys, was I a hot mess last night?

[Nicole and Jenni] No! Not at all!

[Nicole] Today, we have to keep Lauren distracted,

because the boys have to get everything set.

So we're taking Lauren to Ocean's ,

we're gonna have a nice lunch, maybe a little drink or two.

I have a weird question though.

Since you drank a lot and it was, like, in your mouth,

can he get drunk off that? No.

[laughter]

Wanna hit these errands?

[Mike] Yeah. Is Ronnie coming with us or no?

[Vinny] We've gotta do a ton of stuff today.

We basically have to get all the things

that Mike needs for his proposal.

Flowers, dessert,

and, uh, some really cute matching clothes. Tee-hee.

Yo, you coming with us for errands or no?

All right.

You know, I'm very happy to see Mike in, you know,

such a good place that he is.

But it's hard to watch it, because I kinda have

my own situation with Jen,

and I just started to take it out on everyone.

And it's like, that's not something I want to do.

Me taking a nap would be the best thing

and the best solution.

[Vinny] Am I still your waiter?

[Mike] Yes, %.

It's one of the keys to the whole [bleep] thing.

Yeah, you need... Is garçons.

Somebody missing, though.

Yo, what is up with that?

[Mike] Ron is missing in action

on one of the most important days in my life.

I consider him a brother, and it's definitely, uh, disappointing.

He's obviously in a [bleep] dark place.

He could realize that reality is about to set the [bleep] in

and you're about to have a kid.

I'm not worried about that, so much as far as him

going back to face the baby mama

without all of us.

That's true. He could still be mad about that.

That is true.

Ronnie's dealing with a lot right now, he's overwhelmed.

He's getting to know his baby mother,

he's getting to know what to do to become a father.

He's dealing with a lot,

and he doesn't wanna ruin Mike's engagement.

That's something you can't do.

She's here for two days, my lady.

I'm gonna do a proposal, it's gonna be one

of the best times of my life.

Yeah, but he didn't come today for a reason.

At the end of the day, there's no excuses.

I'm disappointed.

♪♪

Is this your first time in Miami?

No.

I haven't been here in, like, three years.

But I love Miami.

Look at the drinks.

[bleep] it. Let's rage.

I don't know what I want to drink.

I'm gonna get Sex in the Bathroom.

That does sound... That reminds me of Ron.

I still stink.

[laughing] Stop.

[Deena] That looks so good, though.

I am so excited to get to know Lauren.

We love Lauren, we love Mike with her.

He has been going through a lot, and without her,

I don't even think he'd be where he is right now.

He's so lucky that you stuck around for him.

He got sober a couple times since we've been back together,

and I helped him through it all.

And, like, the sobriety only stuck

the first time he did it, like, for himself.

But then the court case started.

So it was, like, real-- a real [bleep] up time.

You literally saved his life, I feel.

You are literally a saint. You are a Godsend.

Super Woman. Sent from Jesus himself.

Well, he did all the hard work.

Like, I have, like, always supported him.Right.

And I always knew he could be the person that he is today.

And that's, like, what I say to him every day.

But it took him a long time.

Like, a long time to get to where he is today.

And a lot of work on himself.

If he didn't have you, I don't know

how his life would have turned out.

I don't think I truly would be friends with Mike

if he ruins that relationship.

If I had to choose sides, I'm choosing Lauren.

I'm happy he has you guys, too,

because he values all of your relationships with him

so highly, that it's so nice that he has you guys back,

and has, like, mended the relationships.

[Jenni]Me, too. Well, we love you.

Thank you. Cheers to Mike and Lauren.

Yes! Cheers.

Cheers to Mike and Laurens.

Lauren's report!

♪♪

[Vinny] My friend is getting engaged today,

so we wanna look really nice for it.

[woman] We have some shirts right here that are white linen.

[Mike] No proposal will be complete

without some shirts that are matching.

This is Jersey in the house, baby.

I think I'm a medium. Do you have extra "schmedium"?

[chuckles] No. Just kidding.

How are you?

I'm good. [laughs] What's your name?

Naomi.Nice to meet you. I'm, uh, Michael.

Nice to meet you. I know who you are. [chuckles]

We have to look uniform.

[Vinny] We all look like chooches.

I feel like a big chooch

in these white outfits, but he's my bro.

You look great.

And I will be there for him, so I'm gonna make it hot.

You can count on that.

Try this on. [chuckling]

So I found the perfect swimsuit for my bae.

[laughing]

He looks real cute right now.

Good luck. Thank you.

Hope it goes well. Hope she says yes.

Yes, thank you. If she says no,

we'll be back to return these. All right?

♪♪

[Nicole] Ooh, we're gonna get a blowout with champagne.

"Shamponya."

How are you? [woman] Good afternoon.

We're here for blowouts.

Okay, no problem. Okay, you guys can go follow me.

[Deena] There's champagne?

[woman] Of course. Oh, gee, you alcoholic.

Let's keep the party going, ladies.

I'm in Meatball heaven right now.

She has, like, thickness like my hair, but it's so long.

b*tch doesn't need extensions.

[laughing] Wh-what?

What?Nothing.

What'd you think I said?

I thought you said, "The b*tch needs to eat something."

I'm like, that's not nice.

I'm on my second thing of wine.

It's champagne. Or champagne.

This is gonna be a mess putting this together.

b*tch, do not [bleep] this up. Get it together.

You're getting drunk, but don't spill the beans.

What?

This is gonna be a mess putting this together.

We'll make it work.

We'll make it work, but we're all drunk.

Girl, don't even speak.

We're gonna [bleep] up.

We're gonna slip up and ruin this.

I do my best work... Thank God we have the boys.

It's very nerve-racking to trust all these guidos

with such an important moment in my life.

[duck phone quacking]

Yes!

Snookie to the main stage, please.

Snookie to the main stage.

I really hope this [bleep] is getting done right now.

[bleep].

♪♪

[Vinny] Wow. Those are nice.

[Mike]Yes.

That's $ right there?

$.. ?

[woman] They come from Holland.

Oh, I love Holland this time of year.

Really? [laughing]

[Mike] How much are the flowers?

$,.

Damn! $,...

For a proposal? ...for a proposal.

Could have got another karat on that ring.

Coulda got another ring. Oh my God.

Roses, rose petals, pianist flowers.

Whatever the [bleep] they're called.

I didn't even know they cost that much.

I guess I should, like, start saving up now.

Happy wife, happy life. Tell him. You're right.

[woman] Exactly. You have the money. Go pay for that.

All right. Here.

Insufficient funds.

Oh my God.

♪♪

♪ Shake the night and let it go ♪

[Ronnie] I just wanna be happy with somebody,

and I found that with Jen, and it's like...

She made me so happy, but then so [bleep] miserable.

You know, three months ago, you were conflicted

on whether you should leave me for your ex.

Now you're telling me you wanna keep my child.

And, like, I have a great heart, and, like, she knows

that no matter what happens between us,

I'm gonna be there for that kid.

No matter what. Thick and thin.

Fire, [bleep] cold ice. Like, I'm gonna be there.

♪ I was bitter bitter

You know, if she loves me for me,

I don't know if we're gonna make it after the baby's born.

I-I don't know.

Like, the feeling of the unknown

is the most scary thing in the world.

♪ Would you ever find your fight? ♪

♪ All I feel you're slipping

♪ Slipping from me [sobbing]

[sighing]

♪ Oooh, sugar

So this is my favorite part of this proposal, is the dessert.

This place gives the craziest desserts.

Exactly. The Sugar Factory dessert.

That's what's up.

I am actually hours away from getting down on one knee

and proposing to my girlfriend.

I'm, like, so excited and nervous.

I can't even eat.

We need dessert.

You have, like, uh, mini cupcakes?

I mean, The Situation? Not hungry?

What the [bleep] happening here?

I really hope you like sweet stuff.

[all] Whoa!

Oh, yeah. That's perfect.

[Vinny] It's all pink and romantic, too.

She gonna be loving this.

Ooh, mini donuts. This is my favorite. Yeah.

Oh, nice. Yes.

That's exactly what we wanted.

We got the linens, we got the flowers.

Now we're gonna head back to the house.

We need to move fast, before the girls come back.

How you feeling now, now that it's crunch time?

Oh, [bleep]. I think I'm starting to feel it right now.

[chuckling]

♪♪

[Vinny] Where the hell we gonna hide this [bleep], bruh?

[Mike] I have no idea.

[Pauly D] We get back to the house, and the first thing

we need to do is hide all this stuff from Laurens.

Yo, hide this [bleep] in, um, places she wouldn't go.

Very nerve-rackings.

[Pauly D] All this evidence.

We're loading the smush room up with flowers

and treats and all this stuff.

We're hoping that Laurens does not walk in the smush room.

♪♪

Oh, [bleep]. Ronnies.

Good afternoons.

What up, bro?What up?

Sorry for today, bro.

It's all right. Just going through my own [bleep].

I figured. What, are you nervous about...?

Just a lot of [bleep], bro. It's like...

♪ Nothing I could fear more than that fear right now ♪

What?

♪ Nothing I could fear more than this here right now ♪

Just the mixture of everything happening so fast.

I came in the house and I made this portrait

and this picture of me and Jen being this perfect couple.

Uh-huh.And, like, we're not.

And, like, I put on this front, 'cause, like, I don't know...

Uh-huh....actually where the relationship stands.

[Mike] I was a little disappointed

because Ronnie was not with the boys.

But listen, things have totally been switched up.

'Cause now I see my man on his bed,

all up in his feelings.

No matter what you do in life, the only opinion

that matters is yourself. If you have your own back,

and you're happy with-- with Jen,

then that's it, that's all that matters.

I just don't know if I'm happy with her, bro.

[Ronnie] I do love Jen, but I don't know what's gonna happen

in the next couple months, and that's a scary feeling.

'Cause I'm not married, and we're not engaged.

You know, there's not that sense of security.

You know what I mean? It's, like, that sense of like,

[bleep] anything can happen.

♪ Nothing I can love more than that lust right now ♪

Right now, I just feel like I have no control over anything.

Well, there's some things you have control over.

How good of a person you are.

How you react to things. What you eat in life.

[laughing] Yeah. You know what I mean?

I mean, listen. Me and you go at each other pretty hard,

but at the end of the day, I [bleep] love you.

Big brother, little brother. Yeah. Exactly.

I want you to know that any time that you need anything,

you call me about anything. I am there for you for life.

♪ Once upon a time when the sun still used to shine ♪

♪ I was young and innocent and I was free ♪

♪ Yeah, but now the skies are dark and grey ♪

♪ And I know I've lost my way ♪

♪ And I need to be redeemed ♪

♪ Seen it with no patience, I dreamed it... ♪

[Nicole burping] Oh my God. I'm so fat.

Let's go see the boys.

[Mike] Nice. [Ronnie] Look at all you girls.

Looks like Jersey's in the building.

You guys had a good day?

[girls] Yes.

[Lauren] What'd you guys do?

Uh, we ran around doing errands.

Gym, tanning, laundries. You know how it is.

We have to get showered, and we have to leave at :s.

Can you start to get ready and I'll be right behind you?

How come I can't come? I love you.

I love you. Okay.

[Mike] I'm gonna propose, and I'm using dinner

as a diversion so the roommates

can pretty much set up this house

and get everything ready for our return.

How am I gonna get the ring?

Do I sit her down and Vinny when I walk in?

[Pauly D] So I think Mike's having a hard time figuring out

how to do this proposal, because Laurens does everything

in this kid's life. She runs his whole life.

She might as well do the proposal.

I open the door, and then I come up from behind you, kinda... Stick it in his pocket.

[Nicole] So she goes first. And you're-- you're in front of me.

And you're in the pocket. Keep your hand behind you. Right now.

Come on, you know how to do a drug deal.

[Deena] Put it in your pocket. Yes.

Yes! That, I do know.

[Ronnie] Don't act brand new. [laughing]

Okay, we're actually doing this.

Yes, sir.

You're doing it. I know.

[laughing] This is your proposal.

[Ronnie] I'm in a funk right now. Got my own [bleep] going on.

But I gotta suck it up and [bleep] deal with it.

Because helping him right now is the most important thing to me,

'cause this is something that Lauren's gonna remember forever.

We have work to do. [Mike] I want a group hug.

[Nicole] You guys, I'm so excited!

[all cheering]

My dream was to have a proposal

with all my best friends around me.

And I have that. I just need them to focus

and help me get through this,

so I can do this proposal without a hitch.

Oh yeah! You're getting married, b*tch! Whoa!

Sorry.Got you.

♪♪

[Deena] Oh, pretty.

[Jenni] Oh, I love that.

Classy but sexy.

I like the Loubs. I don't like the other ones.

What time you got?

:.

Oooh. They didn't leave yet?

Nah. It's crazy.

[Vinny] As the minutes are ticking down,

I'm realizing we really need to get Lauren and Mike

out of the house so that we can start setting up.

Because we're looking around right now,

and nothing is set up.

Get your [bleep] pants on.

We gotta get this [bleep] rolling.

[Nicole] We gotta go.

C-can't I just wear this?

I don't mind that.

Mike takes forever to get ready.

You're good. Put 'em back. That's fine.

At this point, I am sorry, but get the [bleep] out.

You gotta, like, get your [bleep] together.

You got one minute. Mike, we have so many things to do.

Yo, it doesn't look bad at all.

[Nicole] All right. Cabs are here.

[Mike] Bye, guys. See you, guys.

[Ronnie] Don't fall in love. Oh, wait.

My God, I get you all to myself.

I know. I don't believe it.

Let's go!

Operation: Team Proposal must commence.

Operation: Team Proposal must commence.

You guys, we have legit two hours.

We're gonna make this [bleep] happen!

Deena, I need your help!

Oh!

[Nicole] Hurry, get up!

Oh my God.

Get the petals!

What do we do first? [bleep].

k*ll Deena. All right, I'm out.

[Deena laughing] You're the worst.

Deena! Get to work, you a*s[bleep]!

[Nicole] We have two hours before this proposal.

We got a carpet and rose petals, candles everywhere.

You almost took out the flowers.

Guys, stop it!

I wanna go above and beyond for Mike,

because he's going through so much frickin' [bleep] in his life.

So we are gonna k*ll this proposal.

My God, I'm outta breath

'cause I haven't gone to the gym in, like, five years.

Got candles up the waz.

♪♪

♪ Boom, boom-boom-boom...

♪♪

DJ Pauly D's in the building.

Balloons are here.

Thank you.

♪♪

Uh...

[bleep] door.

[sighing]

Holy [bleep].

[grunting]

[bleep].

Wow.

[mutters]

[bleep].

[sighing]

♪♪

Enjoy your dinner. Thank you.

They have the fishes, honnies.

They got all the fishes for me.

I am not even hungry right now.

And I wish that I can fast forward things,

so that I can get to the part

where I'm getting home and proposing.

Lobster Taco Bites.

Yes, we'll do that.

They have ceviche.Okay.

But in this particular situation,

we ordered a salad or two, an entree or so.

The oysters. [waiter] Okay.

With motive in mind.

The lobster appetizer one. These mini burgers.

All so that my roommates can get the house in order in time.

What about the lobster raviolis?

I mean, they got a lot of things to do right now.

That's, like, a lot of food. You know what I mean?

We'll do that last.

[Vinnie] When we land at the spot, we'll stop.

There's gonna be no cue. You're just gonna lower the...

Yes. The-- the walk-in music.

Yes.Yeah.

About to drop petals. Sweating.

Need a wipe down.

What the [bleep] are we doing?

This is Jenni's fault. We want a frickin' runway.

Lower the walk-in music, and on your--

And that's gonna cue me to cue them.

And that's gonna cue me. Yeah.

I'm gonna pretty much

be in charge of the projector screen and the slideshow.

Yup. Looks good.

The girls are gonna decorate with lights and candles.

Yo, I need my wine.

I'm sober now.

Oh, I'm not.

Pauly's gonna set up the DJ equipment.

[Pauly D] Yeah, so once I get my deposit, the music will start.

I'll give you $.

[Pauly laughing]

Ronnie's just gonna...

Ronnie around and help out.

[alarm ringing]

[groaning]

Excuse me, honnies. I have to go to the bathrooms.

Okay.

I've had, like, courses already

and I'm ready to come home.

I need to know are the things set up.

Oh my God. We have to put batteries in it.

Are you [bleep] kidding me?

[Mike] Are you guys dressed?

[duck phone quacking]

[Nicole] Wait, we have to do the centerpieces ourselves?

[Mike] Are you ready?

[quacking continues]

I could be walking into madness.

Oh!

[Nicole] Ron!

Chaos. Nothing.

I really hope this [bleep] is getting done right now.

Spider webs and spiders-- [screams]

[Deena] They're [bleep] coming! The spiders are coming!

I didn't know what happened to you.

I had to go to the restrooms.

I'm getting full.

We do have raviolis as an entrees.

Dude, I'm not gonna eat that.

Can you get us a dessert menu?

Thank you.

Sorry.No!

[Mike] I think Lauren definitely notices something's up with me.

She's known me for over years and I really don't get nervous.

But for this, it's very nerve-racking to trust all these

guidos with such an important moment in my life.

[dance music playing]

Yes!

Snookie to the main stage, please.

Snookie to the main stage.

[duck phone quacking]

[Deena] Hey!

Yeah, buddy. [Nicole] Yes!

[quacking continues]

[sighing]

♪♪

♪♪

Yo, dude, were these here?

What? No. Jenni's moving them.

Oh. These are awesome. [Jenni] I've been doing all this.

[duck phone quacking]

You like it?Yeah.

I'm stressed!

[quacking continues]

Hello? Ronnie. What's up, brother? It's Mike.

What's up, bro? What's the deal at the house?

I was getting a little nervous, I was calling a couple times,

nobody was picking up.

We're setting everything up.

So. All right, all right, all right.

What I'm gonna do is, I'm just gonna wrap things up

and maybe have a taste

of the dessert. Oh.

Well, we gotta get dressed, but yeah.

All right, all right. I'll be there in, uh, about a half hour.

All right, see you soon.

Bye. Bye.

Whew.

♪♪

[Ronnie] Yo, let's go, guys!

Mike's gonna be here in minutes.

Or less.

Ron! Stop.

[Jenni] Holy [bleep], minutes.

We have so much to do

to prep the house. We're totally [bleep].

[Pauly D] Holy [bleep], it's :. [Nicole] It's happening!

Who put a water bottle there?

My mom. [Jenni] Vinny.

[Deena] Vinny, with the [bleep] shoes as well? Oh, sorry.

All right, let's figure out what we're wearing.

[Nicole] We literally have, like, ten minutes to get ready.

This is Mike's engagement, but I feel like we're all just

freaking out because we want it to be perfect for Mike.

The ring, right?

Very important.

You look like a secret agent. Sexy.

Really? You look like Carmen Sandiego.

Like, sexy [bleep].

What are you? A yacht dealer?

[laughing] [snorts]

I look like I work at the laundromat.

[laughing]

I look like a [bleep] chef.

[laughing]

We look like we're playing seamen in the school play.

Me and Pauly look like S'mores.

We look like The Beach Boys. Yeah.

Guido Boys. Guido Boys.

The guido boys. [laughing]

♪ Guidos

♪ We may be tan but we wear white-a*s guidos ♪

♪ We got your proposal planned for you ♪

♪ With a runway and everything ♪

♪ You better say yes

♪ 'Cause we're white-a*s guidos ♪

Ch-chsh!

♪ We're the white-a*s guidos ♪

You guys look so [bleep] weird.

♪ We're the white-a*s guidos ♪♪

But handsome. [Pauly D] Thank you.

Yo, can we start this party?

I totally don't wanna go out tonight.

I know. Me neithers.

We'll get the check and then we'll go home.

Can we get the, uh, check? Yes, of course.

It's game time. However the roommates set up this house, or not,

I'm going through with this thing

and we're going full steam ahead.

♪♪

[Nicole] It's happening!

[Pauly D] Here we go!

Oh my God. I'm getting my wine. This is happening.

This is happening. Where am I going?

♪♪

This is, like, a moment for my boy.

I'm, like, so happy for him right now.

Everything needs to be flawless.

[Jenni] They're here. Nicole, are they here?

[Nicole] Yeah. [Deena] They're here, Pauly!

Two plates... Are the plates outside, too?

Mike arrives and this is the moment.

The biggest moment in Mike's life

is about to happen right now.

All right, it's happening!

Oh my God, it's happening!

[Nicole and Deena screaming]

[Mike] Ay-yai-yai.

I need tissues. I'm gonna cry.

I gotta get more flutes.

How now brown cow?

Okay, honnies. Come on.

I want this to go not good, not great, but [bleep] awesome.

Unique New York.

Unique New York.

I want my girl to remember this for the rest of her life,

and I have no idea what I'm about to walk into.

Is anything even set up?

I mean, this could be a disaster.

Come this ways.

[Jenni] Love you. Good luck. Thanks.

All right, it's happening. Oh my God, it's happening!

[screaming]

[Lauren gasping]

This feels like we're all proposing to Lauren,

because we're working as such a team.

So I'm nervous that it's gonna go well, myself.

[excited] Stop!

Oh my God. I'm gonna cry.

[bleep] me in the a*s[bleep].

[laughing]

[Ronnie] Yo! Mike's gonna be here in minutes.

Oh my God! I'm stressed.

It's happening.

[Pauly D] Here we go!

Oh my God. I'm getting my wine.

This is happening. This is happening.

Where am I going?

They're pulling into the driveway.

All right, it's happening. Oh my God, it's happening!

[screaming]

All right. We're here.

We're ready. It's happening.

♪♪

♪ Steal away Live for the moment... ♪♪

The past year, I've been wanting to propose.

I've had this court situation kinda holding me back.

[Lauren] Oh my God.

Come on, this ways. [Lauren laughs]

And now it's here. And I'm ready.

Aww. After you, honey.

This is so cute. Mm-hmm.

Good evening to the lovely couple.

[laughing] Garçon.

Lauren is Mike's rock.

She's the one that's been able to kind of

turn his whole life around.

This feels like we're all proposing to Lauren,

because we're working as such a team.

So I'm nervous that it's gonna go well, myself.

You can just proceed to follow the trail of love.

[laughing]

Oooh. Oh my God.

I love the pink heart balloons.

Look at this.

♪ Look into my eyes again

[cheering] Yeah!

She's coming. I see her.

Oh my God. I'm gonna cry.

[bleep] me in the a*s[bleep].

[laughing]

Oh my God, it's happening!

Oh my God.

Right this way. Garçons.

How did you get out here so quickly?

[Vinny, with accent] I am very, very sneaky.

[excited] Stop!

[laughing] Stop. Come on, honnies.

Come on, honnies.

[Pauly D] Oh my God, dude.

[squealing]

I'm a little teary-eyed.

I just see the happiness.

Like, it is such a great feeling tonight.

♪♪

Oh my God.

[Nicole] I'm already crying.

Oh God!

[Mike] Step into the centers.

[laughing]

[gasping]

So, Lauren, if you'll please

direct your attention at that screen.

Michael has a very, uh, big surprise waiting for you.

[Mike] Yes.

[Lauren chuckling]

♪♪

[Lauren] Oh my God.

Just hug me, please.

That was in Florida.

[sniffling] ♪ She's a thousand miles away... ♪

Oh my God.

[sniffling]

Oh my God.

Lauren is the light at the end of my tunnel.

Lauren is everything. Lauren is my best friend.

She is my soul mate. She is my better half.

And knowing that I found that,

I'm willing to face anything in life.

♪♪

Oh my God!

Aww.[laughs]

♪♪

I'm so emotional. I can't.

Oh my God. I wanna die.

[sniffling]

[Vinny] Guys, I always cry at proposals.

[Deena laughing] Come here, honnies.

You're my best friend.

My college sweetheart.

My better half.

[Nicole] Oh, God. Look at them.

You make me a better person.

Please make me the happiest man on Earth.

Will you please marry me?

[Pauly D] Oh my God, dude. He's doing it.

♪ Ooooh

[Lauren] Oh my God.

My God.

Yes.

Yes?Yes.

Yes? [sobbing] Yes.

[Pauly D] He nailed it.

[cheering] [Pauly D] Congratulations, guys!

[cheering continues] She said yes!

[music playing]

Love you.

Love you. Love you.

We've been through so much, and for us to finally get engaged,

um, it's really special.

Because it wasn't guaranteed.

Take your shoes off. [cheering]

We still have more surprises for you in store.

It's been very stormy for a while.

The odds were against me.

People bet against me.

But, against all odds, she's been there through all the ups

and downs, the good times and the bad.

For your first meal as an engaged couple...

[laughing] Stop.

A rainbow cookie.

Enjoy. My favorite!

[laughing] Oh my God. Cheers to that.

I'm gonna k*ll myself. [laughs] Yes.

[laughing]

Love you. Love you.

[cheering] I love proposals this time of year!

Let's go!

Turn up!

I've been wanting to get to this day for so long.

And right now, I'm feeling like all these bad times

that I've been through, it's all worth it

for this moment right here. I'm very excited.

♪♪

Mm.

[Pauly D] Let's go!

[cork popping]

[cheering]

That's right.

Sorry, ladies. The Situation's taken.

[cheering]

This is one of the best nights that we've ever had here.

♪ Ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh

This is a perfect night.

Laurens and Mike were made for each other.

They're like a little heart.

Myaah!

[cheering continues]

♪ Never stop believing...

This is such a special moment.

My man Situation hung up his player card,

and now he's engaged with such a wonderful woman.

What a night.

[cheering continues] [Pauly D] Hey!

Hey! Hey!

♪♪

♪ Every day is a different story ♪

[Lauren whispering] Honey.

♪ Gonna leave me feeling small

Look at that.Hm.

We have just woken up,

and now we are officially an engaged couple.

Yes. Uh-oh.

Waited a long time for this.

Wedding's coming. Wedding time.

Baby time. Uh-oh.

Yo, you guys look different now you're newly engaged.

[laughing] I know, right.

Real different. You're acting real brand new.

[Lauren] Stop. [Mike] We, we changed.

[Pauly D] Look at that glow. She's glowing.

That glow.

I didn't know you guys were changed this much.

I know, man. It's crazy. [chuckling]

All right, honnies. I'm gonna start getting some breakfastes ready for everyones.

Okay. I'll help you.

Breakfastes.

I am on top of the world.

It was one of the coolest proposals I've ever seen.

And this morning I said,

"Good morning, fiancées."

[chuckling]

Yo, it's getting smoky in here.

When you're cooking, it's always smoky.

[bell ringing] Ohhh.

Oooh.

All of the sudden, now they're engaged,

they're roasting each other.

They changed. Soon as you give her the ring, bro.

Better start cracking eggs for the scrambled eggs.

Cracking eggs. [Pauly and Vinny] Oooh.

Come on. Getting real bossy right now.

[bell ringing]

Gives you the ring, all of a sudden

he starts giving you orders.

Yeah, he made me breakfast yesterday. I did.

[bell ringing] Ooooh. Ooh.

First fight of the [bleep]...

First fight as an engaged couple.

It's just eggs, guys.

Honey, get me a plate for these eggs.

[bell ringing][Vinny] Oh... Ooh!

Damn! I'ma [bleep]. Boom!

Remind me not to give you a ring, Vinny.

[laughing]

How do you feel to be an engaged woman?

It feels amazing.

[laughing]

[Deena] Was it everything you imagined?

Oh my God. It was more.

I'm so happy for Mike and Lauren.

Mike deserves this happiness.

He's a fiancé now.

Honey, do you have all your bags and all your stuff?

Yeah, it's packed.

Unfortunately, Laurens has to go right now.

Congratulations again. Thank you.

I'm just very grateful that I got a chance to spend

a couple days with her.

And I can't wait to get home.

Bye.Be home soon.

I love you. Bye, honey.

♪♪

♪ Come fly away

♪ Come back to life... ♪

Where we trying to eat at?

I'm hungry.

I thought we was going Cubans.

All right, all right. Yo, Ronnie, we starving.

You wanna go to that Cuban place?

Since we can't have Cuban women,

we might as well have Cuban food.

Yeah, let's do it.

♪♪

Yo, you guys need a ride?

Where y'all guys headed?

♪♪

Oh, man.

I can't believe it's the end, man.

I'm hungry.

Salud.

Salud,fellas.

Oh yeah! [Ronnie] Cheers, guys.

[Mike] Vinny, what are you getting?

I'm looking at that sautéed ground beef.

What are you getting?

I'm probably gonna get the Avocado and tomato salad.

I would like to also try the empanada samplers.

And then, for my entree, I will get French fries.

Oh, you weren't done yet.

And, um, the beef chorizo mix.

[Ronnie chuckling]

♪ Give me wonder

♪ Fill me with fire ♪

♪ Reignite my senses

♪ Give me something to look for... ♪♪

Can't believe Mike just got engaged back here.

I know. It was so pretty, though.

We k*lled it.

[Jenni] My God.

I'm not ready.

I'm just being a nice.

Thanks. Is it water?

Water on the rocks? [Nicole] Yeah, it's water.

The boys decide to go out

and us girls, we're like, you know what?

We had a rough last two days.

Let's just chill out and relax.

I think I raged a lot more than I thought I was going to.

[Deena] She did. So proud.

I feel like we had fun...

and kept it classy for the most part.

[Nicole] I think we enjoyed ourselves.

Because, like, we're fulltime moms, b*tch.

This is out vacation, you know?

Honestly, I am proud of myself.

I can still rage, I'm a good time,

my hangovers last more than usual.

But at the end of the day, like, we lived.

What a vacation.

Damn, fellas. This vacation's almost over.

[Mike] I know, I know. [Ronnie] This is it, bro.

I didn't even think I was gonna make it out here.

So, what are you facing when you leave vacation now

and going home? Um...

What's the reality of everything?

The reality of The Situation is

that, uh, I have sentencing.

Like, they're gonna tell you exactly what the punishment is.

Uh, well, yeah.

The judge, 'cause she's the final decision.

You could always just throw a chair at the judge.

[laughing] No.

No, no. Be like, "[bleep] court.

Let's rage!" [laughing]

Would you be prepared to have to

do the worst thing? I am, I am, I am prepared.

That is another reason why I wanted to make sure

that I proposed to Lauren, that I locked down a good girl.

Will she stick around for that?

She went through the whole process of the,

of the past four years. Yeah.

Yeah. You know what I mean?

She could have easily left at any particular time.

He got himself a ride or die. Yes, I did.

[Ronnie] Lauren is a great girl. Great heart.

Mike's really [bleep] lucky.

And, like, I'm over here having a kid with someone that, like,

I don't even trust. It's really hard.

You fixed yourself first, and then look what happened.

Everything else fell into place.

So, I commend you.

[Jenni] I feel bad for Ron.

Do you kinda feel bad, like,

being so harsh on him in the beginning?

Yeah, I wish I knew.

No idea. But that's not our fault. He didn't say anything.

I'm sure Ronnie didn't tell us earlier that Jen cheated on him

because there's the embarrassment factor,

the insecurity feeling.

But I still wish he did.

Like, I wish he was just honest with us about, like,

what was really going on in this relationship in the beginning. In the beginning.

Yeah. So, like, we weren't like, "This kid's being a weird."

Judgy. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, why are you being [bleep]... We were all judgy 'cause we thought

he was just being an a*s. Yeah.

I wasn't very nice to him sometimes.

But I didn't know he was, like...

Going through some [bleep]? Yeah.

Like, we all kept calling him the new Mike.

Mike... He wasn't the new Mike.

No.He was just depressed.

Poor thing. I know. [Nicole] The worst.

♪♪

How do you feel now about Jen?

I think she loves me, you know?

But there's always that thought in the back of my head.

I don't know, you know, what her intentions are.

If you was driving a Camry, would it be different?

Exactly.

I don't trust her.

Like, I don't have anything in writing

that says once this baby comes out,

she's gonna go back to her old [bleep] ways.

I honestly feel like the baby brought us closer.

Yeah. 'Cause I think without the baby,

we probably wouldn't be together.

But, you know, only time will tell.

I support you either way.

Whichever way you go, you're still my brother.

No, of course. Always.

I love that. So.

All you can worry about is your actions.

If you are being a good person, then however it ends up,

you're like, "Yo, I did the right thing."

You know what I mean? I put my all in.

Seeing you guys and your relationships,

and hanging up your, your player cards and all that,

it makes me want to, too.

I can't believe we're having this conversation.

I know. [chuckling]

We're the same, yet grown up.

You look younger, but we're all grown up.

[laughing]

♪♪

Toast to the vacation...

It was amazing with you guys.

[Ronnie] To more future vacations. Oh yeah!

Vacation! Yeah!

I'm starting to realize that

this vacation is coming to an end.

We've had ups and downs and highs and lows.

[Mike] Y'all ready to roll?

But at the same time, I really feel closer

to this group of crazy people than I ever did before.

♪ You're never quite prepared

♪ When things do fall in place ♪

♪ No plan will work out...

[Vinny] All right, so what are we gonna shower?

[Ronnie] If not, I'm just gonna pass back out and just be a [bleep].

I feel like sweat and regret right now.

♪ And nobody knows

♪ What's around the bend ♪

[Deena] I never knew what that really was. Great art.

I think it's a porcupine, or...

Oh...

Or a hedgehog or something.

A kid's craft. [Nicole] Who does the art here?

It's weird.

Ronnie get out of the shower yet? Yeah.

I'm actually concerned for Ronnie.

I love him to death. But he's lost.

Full disclosures. You know what I'm saying?

I love RBJ, but his horrible decisions

stem from the drinking and the partying.

I think that, at one particular point,

I'm gonna have to really go up to him

and say, "Ronnie, dude, you're having a baby.

Get a grip on what's happening in your life."

When the baby comes, it's gonna be real as [bleep].

You need to have your [bleep] together before the baby comes.

[Jenni] Listen, me and Nicole both learned the hard way.

But we ended up being ready.

Even when you're totally prepared, you're never ready.

[Mike] All right.

He [bleep] crazy.

I think he's gonna continue to spiral

until he fixes his problem.

♪♪

I know Mike is like St. Mike and everything...

[chuckling] but, uh, let's not forget where he came from.

[chuckling]

He's gonna straighten his [bleep] out,

and he's gonna be the best version of himself.

All right.

[Jenni] You gotta be kidding me.

Like, Mike is not coming from a genuine place with this [bleep].

Because if he was coming from a place of concern,

he wouldn't be telling us.

He would have been going to Ron.

So the way he went about it, is [bleep] talking.

Mike's being a judgmental.

[Jenni] Mike, you can't judge. We've all been there.

I know. I know.

I just... I'm looking out for everybody.

I know. That's why I'm so concerned about certain people.

[scoffing] Oh my God. God.

If Ronnie finds out about this, he would literally destroy Mike,

so Mike needs to... zip it.

[Ronnie] It's so nice out today.

He's talking [bleep].

I am not. About what? You?

Or me? No, I'm not.

About me? No.

Bro, you wanna start right off the bat, like...

[Mike] What are you talking about?

Yeah.

Whoa.

You put people's dirt out there.

Your [bleep] is real news, and it's [bleep] on the papers.

Are you kidding me?

So don't ever [bleep] say I need help.

End of the [bleep] story.

Bottom line.

[dance music playing] [Pauly D] Let's go!

[Jenni] Oh my God.

That's Pauly's stalker from Seaside.

[crowd cheering]