08x05 - Down to Farm

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ MTV

That chooch, Vinny

He's in his room right now because he has a fever.

We just got a new flash flood warning...

...for Charleston, South Carolina.

- sh*t. No South Carolinas.

- Yo, Mike just texted the group chat.

- "We are going farming, b*tches."

- Oh, what the hell? - Farming?

- What is this?

- We're going to an actual farm out here.

- Yeah, so you bring your golf cart with you.

- Yeah, exactly.

- I've been going to a program.

It's five days a week.

And I'm trying to just be more of a calmer Ange.

- It's so haunted in here. - Please don't.

Wherever we go, there's ghosts,

and then, like, my roommates enjoy, like, bothering them.

I'm out. No way.

- Oogity-boogity.

- He's getting ready to charge me.

- That is a nice c*ck. [laughter]

- I've never seen a c*ck so nice before.

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, buddy!

- Party's here!

- The Situation is under construction.

- We're so classy now.

- On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

- Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

- Um, hello?

- I'm still the sweetest b*tch you'll ever meet.

♪

[upbeat country music]

- ♪ Like cornbread and butter ♪

♪ Sweet tea and ice

♪ I was made to be hers

- It's so creepy.

- We're gonna be screaming tonight

if there's wind and sh*t.

I might sleep with Deena.

This is Mike's farm trip to Cape May.

This is, like, a classy, gorgeous farm, but, oh, b*tch.

Like, there's spirits here.

[tense music]

I'm not staying in no haunted houses.

- This thing have full self-drive?

- And that's the girls' house.

- This is the girls' house?

- That's the girl's house, yeah.

- This it right here?

- Yeah.

- Oh, hey, gentlemen.

- Hey, boys.

- Wow.

- Damn, they got the mansion!

Damn. - [laughs]

- They got the mansion!

- Did you see Angelina's house? - Did you check out the--

- No, she has her own house? - Yeah.

- She's in that house?

- The middle house right here.

- Hers is definitely the f*cking "Conjuring."

- Whose place is haunted?

- b*tch.

There's ghosts.

- I think the guys should leave.

[laughter]

- And, like, Ange loves that stuff, so she's like, no,

this is my place.

- We were scared.

- I feel bad for Ange, but I think she--

- No, she's thriving there. - No, she likes it.

- She didn't want anybody taking her room.

- Angelina thrives in the dark arts.

- She just went to see "Annabelle."

Of course she'll thrive in it.

Angelina Pivarnick.

So far, Angelina is actually very calm on this trip.

Like, she seems chill, she seems OK,

but, like, Ange's cottage is haunted.

- I like this. f*ck it. I need a little coffee.

Yay.

[pleasant music]

It, like, makes me happy. It's weird.

- I don't know how this beautiful

farm trip turned into fricking "The Poltergeist."

Can we not? Please?

- If there is a ghost in this room, please give me a sign.

- Give me a code word. [foot stomps]

- [laughs] So stupid. - What the f*ck?

Did you see that?

- Kick them out. - This is my worst nightmare.

- [chuckles]

- Where is this girl? - Ron.

- Huh?

- Why don't you go check on Ange?

- Yeah, go check on Ange.

- Ange is alone in the house, and I'm getting really worried.

All it takes is one spooky house to turn a beautiful farm

into, like, a haunted movie.

- Whoever doesn't mind ghosts.

- Oh, God.

[laughter] - He's scared.

[tense music]

- Ange?

Ange?

That's creepy.

Ange?

Yeah, this house is creepy.

♪

Ange?

- What if she got stolen?

What if a ghost got her?

- Ron is probably lost.

- All right, Ron's dead now.

- Ange?

Are you dead?

- What?

Where are you?

- All right, she's alive.

- Oh, you thought I got k*lled?

- Yeah.

- [laughs] Is it really f*cking haunted?

- Nah, just a little creepy.

It just gives off, like, Bloody Mary vibes, you know?

It's just like, if I sat in the mirror

and really said Bloody Mary three times,

would I die in this place?

I think the ghosts are upstairs.

- No, there's not, Ronnie. - There is.

- Don't f*ck with me.

- I swear to God. - What?

Look. - No.

- Look, that's where the ghosts are.

[laughs] - Don't tell me sh*t, dude.

All right.

- Hey, what's up, guys?

- Hey.

- We thought the ghost got ya both.

- I mean, there are ghosts in my house.

- Why are we talking all about ghosts?

- How does this farm compare to your farm?

- Well, this one's an actual farm.

- True.

- Yeah.

Listen, I did stop by their chicken coop.

- It's good.

It's legit.

- And they had a lot of chickens there.

Yeah, I'm sizin' them up.

- How many eggs you get per chicken, Mike?

- What?

- How many eggs per chicken do you get?

- I mean, I get eggs every two days.

- That's a lot. - Wow.

- That's a lot.

- And the one rooster, he is-- could be up for eviction.

- Why? Is he being a b*tch?

- Cluck Norris is very aggressive

when it to mating, I guess.

- Oh.

- Cluck Norris, my rooster at Situation Farms, has been,

um, quite the nuisance.

- Cluck Norris needs to go.

- As you can see, on the top of the chicks' backs,

he's being a bit, um, aggressive.

The reason why I didn't get rid of Cluck Norris

is because if you have a rooster,

then you can actually make more chickens.

- Is that your only rooster? - It's my only rooster.

- Did he mate one to death?

- I think so. [all gasp]

I think it was the Angelina one.

- Oh! - Angelina!

- The Angelina one got pounded out.

- You got f*cked, literally.

- I don't believe that Angelina the chicken

died for one second.

I don't even think you named one Angelina.

- This happened months ago.

- We don't need to bring it up then.

I think this is chicken sh*t.

Honestly, Mike.

Literally, no pun intended. It's chicken sh*t.

- I have eight chickens. - Eight?

Oh, wow.

- Eight chickens, and I'm getting more.

Angelina, I'm getting more.

- Why do you keep looking at me with these chickens?

f*cking get out of here!

I don't give a f*ck.

- I'm sorry about the Angelina chicken.

- He's just trying to replace you.

- I'm sorry.

Angelina seems to be very salty

that the Angelina chicken didn't really make it.

Ange, I'm getting more chickens.

- I don't care.

f*cking shove the chicken up your as*h*le.

- Oh, my God. - There she is.

- That's abrasive! - That's weird.

- There's the Ange we know and love.

- It took me how long m*therf*cker.

- There she is.

Oh, boy, here we go.

- OK, OK, OK.

I'm trying something different with you.

Come here, come here, come here.

[laughter]

- Oh!

- Come on. Gimme some love.

It's OK. It's OK.

- Aw. Gentle.

[camera shutter clicks] - It's OK.

- The tools that I'm learning in therapy

is definitely helping me to cope and deal

with things calmly and nicely.

- Did you get it?

Perfect. - Oh, God.

- You look like you're crying.

- It looks like I'm crying.

- Oh, it looks like you're crying.

- I'm dead. He's consoling my crying.

I can't.

- I'm trying something new now with Ange,

gentle parenting, patience.

- What's going on?

- You have something up your sleeve.

- You know how we were supposed to go to the South?

- Yes.

- And I had all these, like, things planned

and, like, super excited.

And I wanted us all to dress in, like,

these Southern Victorian outfits.

- OK.

- But then we didn't go to the South.

But I feel like-- like we're South now.

So I brought them anyway.

I want to show you the outfits that I got.

- Ooh, I'm excited. You know I love this.

- You got to present it with me.

- Let's see what you got.

- I need my meatball to, like, help me with this

because Deena is used to this.

I'm like, Deena, can you be the bad guy with me

and, like, present this?

We're going to a Victorian restaurant.

- Ooh, OK.

- And these are all Victorian outfits that we can wear.

- OK, let's see.

Oh, this is something I'd wear normal.

[chuckles] - And then the boys.

- Good luck.

I'm just saying--[blows kiss] Good luck.

Usually, I'm the one doing the outfits on trips,

and that never goes over well.

I would like to do a matching family photo.

I feel like it'll be really cute.

Jazz night!

Family fun day!

You know I love this. - This is what we're doing.

- I am down. - Victorian vibes.

Let's do it, meatball.

Hey, guys!

Remember we were supposed to go down South?

- Oh, no.

- Well, the Southern belles are here!

- No, I love Southern belles.

[all exclaiming]

- My word.

- Oh, this is stunning.

- Oh, wow.

- We're gonna go to a Victorian restaurant tonight.

- All right, cool.

- So we are going to dress in our Victorian Southern outfits.

[music slows down and stops]

- Oh, my God, I'm so happy.

- Oh, cute.

- This is probably the first time

I am f*cking excited to get dressed up.

- I have a full suitcase for you boys.

- Oh, nice.

- And then, wait. The fun part is

we can take golf carts to the restaurant tonight.

- Can I drive? - Ooh, nice.

- You guys can pick your outfits,

and then we'll get ready to go.

- Everybody loves it.

Everybody's like, whoo-hoo.

And I'm happy for my meatball.

But I'm like, why don't I get this, like, encouragement?

They're always like, ah, not another Deena idea.

- Ooh, they have a vest here.

- Ron. - Oh, wow.

- Ronald. - [chuckles]

- This is so fun. - There you go.

You might have made out. - That's cute.

I could see you in that.

- They were so much better with you than they are with me.

- ♪ Fat guy in a little coat

- I know. Nobody complained, I feel.

- They're such little dicks when I have--

- With you, we're like, ugh.

- But with Nicole, they're like, oh, we love it.

- [laughs] - Like, what the f*ck?

[laughter]

[upbeat banjo music]

[laughter and shouting]

- Angelina, give him a hug, give him a hug!

[all screaming]

- Ah! [laughs]

- I feel like the Wicked Witch of the West.

- You were born in Turkey? - Yes.

- What did your family do out there?

- They do the hair transplants and everything.

[laughter] - OK.

Mike's gonna think I was in on this.

I'm good, but I'm not that good.

[laughter]

- ♪ Here we go, yo

[upbeat music]

- Night on the town in Cape May.

- ♪ Just incredible

- I don't know if I exactly understood

the assignment with the outfit, but I'm gonna make it work.

- I feel like Dracula. - Oh, this is fresh.

- Look at me right now.

I look like "Beauty and the Beast."

- Mike? - Yo.

- How you making out?

- ♪ Your head's in the party

- The black and gold it is.

- It looks like your shirt from at home.

- It does look like I'm wearing Versace.

But I am not, OK?

- It looks like you're "Ver-say-cee."

- "Ver-say-cee."

- Ooh, I like this.

I'm actually loving this vibe.

I wish I lived back in the s and I was just

thriving in my farmhouse and just living on the land.

- How do these hoes wear this?

th century, b*tch.

Look like I do -hour shifts at the brothel.

Little h* Peep at your service.

- [Southern accent] Angeliners. - She's probably getting ready.

- I want to see if she needs help with her gown.

- We love it!

- Oh, my God, you guys look amazing.

[Southern accent] You look like a Southern belle.

- [Southern accent] You look like a Georgia peach.

- [normally] Angelina is not answering on her walkie-talkie.

[all normally] - Should we walk over?

- I want to see if she needs help with her dress.

- I'm a little afraid to go in the house.

- I'll go.

- Me and Jenni got to go over there and make

sure she's still alive.

[Southern accent] I'm gonna lose my cap.

- [laughs] - Ange?

- I don't know if the ghost took her out.

- What are you doing? - "Hocus Pocus."

- Oh, yeah.

[grunts]

- Wait, can we do it together? - Yeah.

- Ready?

Go.

[both grunting]

- I've always wanted to live in this era.

♪

[laughs]

I probably would have been m*rder*d.

You know, burned at the stake.

- All right, we're enjoying this a little too much.

- I know.

But it would have been a great years of living.

Total coven. Let's go check on Ange.

- Angela?

- Yeah.

- I knew that would look great on you.

Wait, you're not wearing the top.

- No, it doesn't-- it's too big.

- So you're not committing. - I tried.

I tried. It's a medium.

I'm an extra small.

- Must be f*cking nice. - Aw.

[sarcastically] I'm an extra small.

- [sarcastically] I'm an extra small.

- b*tch.

- This is a really cute freaking shirt.

- I know.

Put it on so let me just see how you--

you didn't even corset the back of it.

- We're all supposed to look ridiculous, b*tch.

- Oh. [groans]

What the f*ck?

- Yeah, bow. - Yeah, b*tch, it fits.

- Yeah. - Why, thank you, guys.

- Of course.

- Nicole and Jenni are actually making me want

to wear this Victorian outfit.

How does this look?

- You look great. You have to wear the hat now.

- The hat? How do you do it?

- Oh, come on.

- I've never tried this before.

It actually doesn't look as bad as I thought.

- Angelina looks gorgeous.

She looks like a freaking-- um, [laughs]

I was gonna say prost*tute-- back in the day.

I knew she was gonna be great in that one.

- Does this look like too much?

- No, we're going to the Southern ball.

- Ma'am, are you all set to go?

You're the rich one, and we're your grenades.

- The night is getting brisk.

- You literally look so hot in this dress.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Oh!

- I mean, if I was a Victorian man,

I would take you right up to my--

to my quarters.

- Oh, my goodness.

- Right up to my quarters, we'd go.

- Thanks, D. You're making me blush.

[laughter]

- Let's roll out, fellas.

Whoa, the frost is on the pumpkin tonight.

- Oh, damn.

- Oh, hello, the handsome three.

- Y'all look terrific.

- Hello, sir.

Holy sh*t, all the boys are dressed up.

When do you see that?

Angelina's the call girl of the Victorian age.

- Cute. [all exclaiming]

- Nailed it. - Pretty!

- I love it. - You guys look good.

- Everybody looks kind of, like, ridiculous.

- Let's go get the other girls.

- OK! Looking snazzy!

- Mike is wearing Versace.

- We look like vampires. - We're in the South.

all: South Jersey!

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Come on now

- Let's do this.

- OK, y'all, off to the Victorian mansion.

- All right, b*tches, let's go.

- Golf cart's here. The golf cart's here.

- Ooh, we got blankies.

Ron looks like a toddler.

- Let's go, girls.

- Spooky.

- I feel like the Wicked Witch of the West.

- You really are.

[all screaming]

- It's flying off.

[all exclaiming]

- This might be my favorite trip.

- I know. [laughter]

- Brake!

- I feel like the vibes are so freaking fun right now.

Like, this is the coolest thing I think we've ever done.

- Hold on to your pussies, b*tch.

[laughter]

- Look at Ronnie. - He looks dead.

- Oh, sh*t.

I'm gonna go flying off this thing.

- Is Ronnie still with us?

- I'm hanging on for dear life, but I'm here.

all: Whoo!

- I'm loving this vibe. - Same.

- I'm loving it.

- Yo, I need a fire and some s'mores now.

- All right, let's do this.

[all grunting]

[laughter] - What the hell?

- It's from "Hocus Pocus," I think.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ Old-schooler, the mic drop ruler ♪

♪ I'm a hot shot, cooler than an ice cream pop ♪

♪ I slide up, the whole house light up ♪

♪ And the whole roof fly up like an astronaut ♪

♪ Ooh

♪ He's the man

- Oh, my God, there's people in there.

- Oh, God.

- Oh, yeah, there are people.

- Everyone's looking at us.

Oh, my God, there's people here.

- I hate my life.

- There's people here. - Oh, well. Just own it.

- Everyone's in normal clothes,

and we're just these assholes in Victorian outfits.

- Hi. - Sorry, don't mind us.

- Welcome to Ocean . My name is Dotan.

I'll be your server tonight. - Nice to meet you.

- Where are you from? What's the accent?

- I'm from Turkey. - Oh.

- Oh, yeah? - Oh, wow.

- Cool. - Mike's been to Turkey.

- For what?

For what, Ron? For what, Ron? [laughter]

- You know, there's rumors going around that Mike

got on a plane to Turkey

and possibly has gotten hair plugs.

- Were you born in Turkey? - Yes.

- What did your family do out there?

- My family is doctor, my parents.

They fix hairs, actually. They do the hairs--

hair transplants and everything.

- Mm-hmm, yeah. - [laughs]

- OK.

- Nice to know. - OK.

- Nice to know.

I feel that I know a setup when I see one.

- Why everybody looked at him? What's wrong with it?

[laughter]

- Mike's gonna think I was in on this.

I'm good, but I'm not that good.

I'm not gonna fly somebody out from Turkey

that does hair restoration to wait on you, Mike.

His family does hair transplants in Turkey.

[laughter]

- Don't look at me, bro.

- Wow.

- If you need any help,

my parents are gonna take care of you.

- No, no. - No?

- I've never been.

I've never been.

These accusations are attacking my character.

- About what?

- Oh, this is pure speculation.

- Over what? - About hair plugs?

- The only thing I know about Turkey

is that I like a turkey sandwich with mayo.

- I never thought you needed those.

- Yeah, why'd you shave your head?

'Cause you're about to start getting them?

- Where is the f*cking hair plug?

There's no plugs in his hair.

- There's no plugs in his hair.

- Well, whatever he needed. - It's all rumors.

It's all rumors. - Oh.

- It's "hairsay." [laughs] - It's hairsay?

- I hair what you're saying, Jenni.

I hair ya. - It's hairsay.

- I didn't say anything about transplants.

- You need downtime, no?

- Yeah, you definitely need a lot of downtime.

- Seems like f*cking a lot of downtime.

- You need a lot of downtime.

I wouldn't know, but you-- you need

like at least two months downtime.

- [chuckles] I heard.

What I heard from a friend. - Yeah.

- Mike swears he doesn't get hair plugs,

but yet, he knows everything about them.

[laughter]

- Do I know anything about hair plugs?

No, because I didn't need hair plugs.

- Let's do a cheers to our Victorian Southern looks.

- Yes, yes. [all cheering]

Cheers.

- Who's your Victorian Southern charm belle?

- What did I say? Nicolette.

[Southern accent] My name is Nicolette the Vampire.

- Nicolette?

- Yes, b*tch.

Nicolette Vampire Witch.

I just felt like I wanted to be a vampire.

And I felt dirty.

- All right. Well, no.

- Where did that come from? - What?

- What the--

- She wants to be a dirty vampire.

[laughter]

- Where did that come from?

She's like, I get dirty with it.

- Dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty, dirty.

- I just want to be a vampire.

- [Southern accent] My name's Samantha.

And I'm still the sweetest be-yotch you'll ever meet

from the s.

- All right. - Whoo!

- Yeah. - My name is Miss Ruby Tuesday.

[laughter] - Ruby Tuesdays?

- You look like a Ruby Tuesday.

- Ruby Tuesday.

- And you know what I like to do every Tuesday.

I like to get spanked from the back.

- Oh!

- Whoa, Angelina!

- Ride em, cowboy!

- Little Bo Peep.

No, Little h* Peep.

But some might know me as Miss Jennifer.

- And why are you h* Peep? - Yeah, why are you h* Peep?

- It's the s, honey. Someone's got to pay the bills.

[all exclaiming] - Whoa!

- You know what that means. - Yo.

[Southern accent] I'm DJ Pauly D,

I DJ at all the hottest barns in town.

- All right. - Catch me at your local barn.

- [Southern accent] My name is Ronald.

And that's one shot, bro. - Oh, my God.

- [Southern accent] My name is--

[Southern accent] I'm Michael "The Situation."

- Ew!

- What the-- you just spit on my back.

- You don't come over to someone's house

and think you're gonna play checkers at : a.m.

[music stops]

- [laughs]

- All right.

- All right, let me, like, do it. OK, ready?

[Southern accent] Deena the Wiener Cleaner.

- [laughs] - What?

- Where are you from?

- [Southern accent] I'm Deener the Wiener Cleaner!

[laughter]

- Prove it! Prove it!

- Prove it! - Prove it!

- I thought it would be funny because--

- Cleaning wieners?

- It was--it was a nickname that you all gave to me.

- We did.

Yeah, work, Deena.

Deena Wiener Cleaner.

'Cause she was cleaning everybody's--

- No, I didn't! - No, I'm kidding.

- No, I was not. - Oh, my God.

- I have a toast to Deener...

all: The Wiener Cleaner!

- That's the name of this episode.

- Get it girls. [laughter]

- God bless Chris!

- Oh, my God.

- ♪ Just want to have a good time ♪

♪ Don't need no drama tonight ♪

- Deena the Wiener Cleaner.

- So the reason my last name is the Wiener Cleaner.

- Wait, so where did Deener the Wiener Cleaner?

- Just because it rhymes. It just rhymes.

- Where did it even come from?

- That was one time, and it was like a couple guys.

It was-- [laughter]

- No.

- Deena was a whole vibe back then.

- Deena! She's making out.

♪

- Oh, yeah, get it in.

The only reason why we called you that 'cause it rhymed.

- Half the time-- I barely brought men home.

- But also, she doubled down where she sucked for Skittles.

- Well, a lot of people did a lot of things.

- For a lot less.

- Taste the rainbow. [laughter]

- We were all together, just having a great time,

just being funny as hell, and I'm loving it right now.

- You doing better since you started the--

- Yeah. - Therapy stuff?

- Yeah, yeah.

- Is it every day? - Every day.

- Is it for how many hours?

- Five hours. - Oh, really?

- It's a lot. It's nice, though.

I like it.

- Honestly, like, I have to say,

like, I'm proud of you to take the initiative.

- Thank you.

- And do that to better yourself.

I think that's wonderful. - It's a group thing.

I love it.

- I'm happy that you have, like, decided to do the work.

- Yeah, I'm doing it.

- Is home life better?

- Yeah, it's good. - Yeah?

- I'm fine.

- Good.

I'm super proud of Angelina.

Thank God, because now she has a professional

that can help her handle these things.

- We've always been rooting for you, always.

- I mean, one day at a time.

That's all I can say.

That's all I can do.

It makes me very happy that the roommates are actually

seeing that I'm putting in the work for my mental health,

for my health.

- Good for you, Ange.

- Yeah. - It's a good start for you.

- Thanks.

- You guys should hug again. f*ck it.

- Come on. You need some loving.

It's OK, it's OK. - You can come over to me.

You can come over to me. - Oh, gentle.

- It's OK.

- She's like, what is this freak doing?

- I am beyond proud.

I never thought I'd see the day where Angelina does the work.

We love her,

and we will support her in her new therapy.

I think it's time for dessert.

- I have a sweet potato cheesecake.

- Sweet potato cheesecake. - Italian lemon cake.

- Italian lemon cake.

- Yeah. - Yeah, and a chocolate cake.

- I'll take the-- I'll take all three.

- All three? - Oh, my God.

- Holy sh*t, Mike.

- Look at that, man.

- Sweet potato cheesecake.

- It's like dark extra chocolate.

- [chuckling] Yeah. - Yeah, man.

- Cheers. Oh, my God!

- How was everything?

- That was the best chocolate cake I've had in my life.

- Excuse me, sir? - Yes, sir?

- It's a hair cold outside.

Do you think that you can transplant our golf carts?

- Of course. No problem. Not a problem at all.

- Oh, my God.

- I feel like we're in an alternate universe right now

because Sam just smiled at Ron at the table.

Like, I feel like hell froze over.

- Yo!

- You gotta lean into it, Mike, you know?

Go head first.

- So did he do it, or did he not do it?

- Ask him.

- Did you do it, or did you not do it?

- You did it already, didn't you?

- Listen, I know of people that have done it.

And, you know, I know a guy.

- You have one month.

- One month of what?

- You get better after one month, right?

- Oh, it's-- it's about two months.

- Oh, so you know?

Why are you touching it?

- Oh, no, no, I'm just scratch.

I was just like that.

I'm just saying.

- I got my t*ts done.

I get Botox.

I get my lips done.

Who am I to judge a hair plug?

- If you felt like you needed to do it, I support you.

- You did it, then.

- You look at me right now.

You're like, is he a shower or a grower?

And I'm here to tell you I'm both.

- So then you did do it?

- If it looks like a duck and talks like a duck,

then it must be a? - A duck.

- Quack.

- Mike neither confirms nor denies

that he's gotten hair plugs.

That means I got on a plane to Turkey,

and I got my f*cking hair done.

- You did it.

[upbeat music]

- Congratulations.

- Yeah, congrats. [laughter]

- Uh, congratulations to Mike!

[all cheering]

- Nothing is wrong with it. - Nothing wrong, Mike.

- Nothing with it at all.

- I like my hair.

- You look great.

- I am a plus-,.

You know what I'm saying? Mikey ,, you feel me?

You get that one?

- Three--well, I don't even call them that,

that stereotypical name.

But, um, but I'm plus-,.

Ronnie, so that-- that p*nis enlargement you said you got.

How was it? - Oh, my God.

- You got a p*nis enlargement?

- He did. - Oh, my God.

[laughter]

- Did you do it, too?

- I have a good friend.

I have a good friend who had let--

- I have a good friend! - Let me--

- Oh, here we go.

Here we go. He got a good friend.

- You know someone that knows someone?

- I got a good friend.

- What, did they give you a package deal?

- If they don't roast ya, they're not family.

That's how I feel.

They put, like, a--

what's the word? - What did you have done?

- In like, an extension.

- That's what they did to you? [laughter]

- And right now, I am being showered with love.

[laughter]

- Deena the Wiener Cleaner. - Deena the Wiener Cleaner.

- Where's Chris? He's getting some tonight.

- Oh, my God!

- To hair transplants and Chris.

- To hair transplants and Chris!

- He loves a nice cleaner.

I still got it. I'm just saying.

[snorts and laughs]

♪

[upbeat music]

- OK, guys, we're here.

- ♪ When you get a little older ♪

- Ooh, I'm a witch.

- OK, we're home.

- Hi. - Whoo.

- Oh, sh*t. Time to get in jammies.

What a good first night dinner.

- Yes. - Yes.

- So fun.

- We--we ate good. The boys had chocolate cake.

- million of them. [laughter]

- It was a great f*cking--

- Oh, sh*t.

Oh.

That's what I'm talking about.

- When are you gonna be done? [overlapping chatter]

- Enough, enough. - [screams]

- Oh, my God.

- Jenni and Nicole just fought. - Wow.

- I gotta get out of this dress.

- Let's get out of the dresses.

- Good night, girls.

- Good night, guys. - Good night.

- Good night. - Good night, girls.

- We love you! - Bye, guys.

See you tomorrow.

- Wait, where's our house?

- Your house is over here. - Oh.

And that's yours? - Yeah.

All right, guys. - See you in the morning.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Ooh, sh*t. - Oh, nice.

Look at that.

- We got our own little fireplace, boys.

- We should get some sch'mores. - Look at us.

- Look at us. A little fire for the boys.

- Well, thank you for tonight, meatballs,

because it ended up being, like,

one of my favorite nights ever with you girls.

- I had so fun in the golf cart.

- It was so much fun.

- That was like my best moment ever.

- This is probably one of my favorite days.

- Same.

- I'm gonna check for ghosts right now before I go to bed.

Is there a ghost in this room right now?

[ethereal chime]

It said, "I am here."

- You know, the rooster--

- The rooster be up.

- When the sun comes up, right? - : a.m., man.

- Wait, do they really go off, like?

- As soon as the sun comes up, yeah.

- Like in "My Cousin Vinny"? - Yeah.

- And Angelina looks like she's doing very well.

- I have to agree with that. - She does. She's doing great.

- Angelina looked like she had fun tonight.

- She did.

- She looked beautiful tonight, too.

- Wait, I'm gonna put the volume on.

[suspenseful music]

- I'm gonna get you.

- Bro, that was immediately. What the f*ck?

I don't like that.

- [indistinct]

- Tomorrow, I'm gonna show you about the farm, boys.

All right, get ready.

Get-- get a good night's rest. - All right.

- Good night, girls. - Good night. Love you!

- Good night, mamas. Love you!

- Love ya!

[suspenseful music]

- If I see something, I'll f*cking die in here.

♪

There's a ghost over there.

It's in my bag.

Whoa.

Bro.

Good night, ghosts. Sweet dreams.

Please don't bother me while I sleep.

Thank you.

♪

- Coming to get you.

♪

[rooster crowing]

- Oh.

How's it look?

We're in business.

The sun has just risen.

We're ready to go.

Early bird gets the worm.

My eternal clock-slash-rooster has awoken me.

I love the smell when you first wake up.

And the day has begun.

[chickens clucking]

♪

Farmer Andrew.

- How you doing, man?

- Nice to finally meet you. - Nice to meet ya.

Nice to meet ya. - Thanks for having us.

- Yeah, man. No problem, dude.

- I got a little bit of a-- a farm that I've been

starting at my house.

Got about eight chickens now and a rooster.

I wanted to live off the land and--

- Yeah, and you learn where your food comes from.

You learn how to appreciate your food, how it's produced.

- We're farmer-to-farmer, man-to-man.

- Come on in. I'll show you in the coop here.

- All right, here we go.

Mano y mano.

- This is where they lay. - Oh, wow.

They look good. Nice and healthy.

Now that I've been a chicken tender for the last year,

I'm a professional.

The squad's not even up right now.

You know what I'm saying? It's just--

- Not morning people?

- They're not into that farm life like myself and--

and yourself.

So let me get them up, and we'll get them going,

and we'll come back out here.

- Yep, absolutely. - All right.

- All right, man. - Thank you so much.

I'll see you shortly. - Yep.

- Since we are in Cape May,

BDS has got to throw on his cape, OK?

And I got to lead the squad into victory on the farm.

And that's just what we're gonna do today.

- ♪ Touch me, Jesus

- [Southern accent] If you're not, first up, you're last.

It just is what it is.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ You got the heart of a champion ♪

♪ Won't stop till the battle's won ♪

- Hi.

Oh, you have a cowboy hat on and everything.

- Good morning, ghosties.

I left the light on for you.

- I'm going downstairs. I'm starving.

♪

- [laughs]

[rooster crowing]

- Make this thing go louder.

[rooster crowing]

- Ready to go farming? - Yeah, man.

[rooster crowing]

- Mike? - Yo.

- You awake?

- I'm up. [rooster crowing]

What's up, boys?

Listen, welcome to my world. - What up, my guy?

- Today, we are gonna be on the farm.

It's gonna be farm life. - I knew it.

- I'm giving you a little taste of Situation's world.

- And I get you got chickens at home, bud.

But you're not quite there yet, Mike.

- You guys know about the dandelion root?

The little flower that comes out

that's yellow out of the grass? - Yeah.

- I think I like Mike as a Guido, not as a farmer.

- I heard like such a powerful herb.

- You really are a farmer. - Yeah.

- I like how Mike attributes him being

a farmer to owning a chicken.

Like, if you have a basketball, you're a basketball player.

[rooster crowing] - What the f*ck was that?

- Oh, my God. Stupid.

Imagine that's how we woke up. - Hi, guys.

- Morning. - Oh, look at those sandwiches.

- Leave some potatoes for me, man.

- No way. - Yep.

- You get any sleep?

- Wow.

- Diamond. Hmm.

- Oh, my God. - And I'm cold.

- Oh, my God.

- [laughs] And because we were all cold.

- And 'cause we're all cold.

- I always use a ghost hunting device.

An app, actually.

Everyone's like, oh, Angelina with the ghost app again.

Well, if you're in a freaking house

that's from like the s, s,

you're gonna have ghosts in it, sorry to tell you.

- Whoa. This place is haunted.

The guy at the restaurant said this whole town is haunted.

- I'm staying away from Ange.

- If she was talking to the ghost--

- Not with me. - No, but--

- How?

- Well, then how were you talking to it?

- It's with the house. It's there.

No, ghosts don't f*cking follow me, people.

The ghosts are among us.

So I like to use these devices to prove to myself,

all right, there is somebody here.

And I'm not scared.

No evil one.

If it's a kid, I'm good with it.

- But it had to have been--

- There's only one way to settle this, a séance.

- No! - Yes!

- Absolutely not.

[chanting] Séance! Séance! Séance! Séance! Séance!

- Deena, no.

- Dad, protect me.

- Angelina, when did you start to get into the dark arts?

- I mean, it's not dark arts.

It's-- where do you think you're gonna go after we die?

- I'm an eternal being.

- Listen, if it's not-- - Get away from me.

- Mike, I'm getting you first, m*therf*cker.

[laughter and shouting]

- Angelina, give him a hug, give him a hug.

- Transfer!

[shouting and laughter]

- That was a good tackle.

- Come to get you.

- Yo, you got the ghost on you, man!

[chicken clucks]

- Oh, I can't do it.

[retches]

It smells so--

[retches] It f*cking smells.

- Watch your step.

- [retches] - D!

- Jenni, where you at?

- I can't do it. Ugh.

I'm out!

- ♪ Roll in my sweet baby's arms ♪

♪ Around shack till the mail train comes back ♪

♪ Gonna roll in my sweet baby's arms ♪

- Today, we're going to be working on the farm.

We're going to be feeding the pigs.

[pig squeals]

- If Mike wants to think he's a farmer because he has

three chickens, let him be.

- You guys are gonna get a day in the life of Situation Farms.

- I'm not gonna rain on his parade,

but he's not really a farmer.

- I want to pet the pigs.

- Yeah, I want to play with the chickens.

- There's chickens? - I want to go home.

- Oh, there's chickens.

- Did you get Sissy's schedule for cheerleading yet?

- Oh, yeah.

I saw that Jen was trying to put Ariana somewhere.

- She has her first, um, competition in November.

- I feel like she's gonna be a really good cheerleader.

- She is. I have videos of her.

She's good. - Can I see?

- Yeah, let me see.

It's definitely funny being a cheer dad.

I definitely don't fit in with other cheer parents.

I'm in a cheer chat.

- Oh, my God!

Look at her go. - Oh.

- Locked legs and all.

♪

- Oh, she's gonna be a sissy.

Ron, get ready to be a cheer dad

'cause it's freaking chaotic.

I sacrifice my entire life.

You do. Everything is cheer.

- Who would have thought my boy, Ron...

[laughter and shouting]

- Whoo!

Eat all day!

♪

- Oh, my God. - Are you OK?

- Would turn into the ultimate cheer dad?

What time does Vinny get here?

If he comes here, he better wear a mask.

I ain't trying to get sick. - Give him a call. f*ck.

- Chooch, how you feeling, my guy?

- What time do you get to Cape May?

- I knew it!

- Is he really here? - I don't know.

I'm on the phone with him.

- Vinny, are you really here?

- Well, it worked. He played us.

All right, choocher.

Call us back. Well, he sounds better.

- He does.

- But I don't think he's coming.

He needs his mother when he's sick.

- What else did you bring?

- Just some ginger ale and some chicken soup.

- Totally. Definitely.

- ♪ Small town boy

♪ And I look the part

♪ Never been in near no Central Park ♪

♪ Stay away from the city

♪ I ain't no Yankee boy

- That sounds like that's our ride.

- Tractors are here.

- Oh, we have a hayride?

- There might be a wager on who performs the worst

and who performs the best on the farm.

- The meatballs are gonna do the best.

We like competition.

Give it to me! Give it to me!

And we don't mind getting a little dirty.

- Nice.

Nice, I said, nice!

- The farmer, the way that he likes to do it is sink or swim.

- Oh.

- Throw them in the fire and see what happens.

- I'm all right with that. - OK?

- Oh!

- Where is it?

- It's a hayride!

- Cool. - I love hayrides.

- Farmer Andrew. Good to see you.

- Oh, yeah. - Nice to meet you.

- This is my crew. - Hi, how are you?

- I heard you guys want to learn about farming.

I got a few hundred eggs to pick,

so it's a great learning experience.

You learn what real life is like,

where the food comes from.

Because a lot of people think

these things are being made in a factory, and it's not.

We'll get you guys picking them, cleaning them,

help me get them packed in the cartons for sale, so.

- Farmer Andrew seems like a no-nonsense kind of guy.

I'm scared.

- If you want to work on the farm,

you have to be one with the farm, hence the outfits.

I got a little get-up for the farm situation.

- Nice.

- Oh, wow. - I love it.

- What do we got here? We got a medium T-shirt.

- I'll take a medium.

- XL, XL. - Thank you, sir.

- I love that.

Thanks, Mike.

- I love how, like, you guys have no problem

with these outfits this trip.

The roomies just went right into

Victorian outfits last night.

And now, everybody's like, Whoo-hoo, overalls!

Why can't they be like, oh, yeah, Deena's T-shirts?

I got all of us matching tropical shirts.

- They are gonna love that.

- Are those matching clothes? - Yes.

- Guys, welcome to my life, matching outfits.

- Annoying.

- When we're done cleaning eggs and stuff,

we got some pigs to feed.

- Oh, fun.

- Got to put some straw down in there for their bedding.

- All right.

- That'll keep us tied up for a little while.

- Let's go, guys. - OK.

- I think I'm gonna struggle the most.

I don't do good with poopy.

I don't do good with the smell of farm life.

Get me away from the bees.

I like chic farm life. I like cute animals.

But do I like doing the dirty work?

We might sweat a little.

What? No.

- How the hell does this thing go?

- Like I'm going in the f*cking Catskill Mountains to hike.

- I'm just too big for this sh*t.

It's not fitting me the right way.

It doesn't stay.

I don't get why jeans needs to go over my shoulder.

- This is hard.

- I have the biggest wedgie.

- Nut huggers.

- They're tight in the crotch.

- Selling all your quotes and sh*t.

Sell this quote. Suck my as*h*le.

- None of us look hot. - I look like a thumb.

- I look like a potato.

- I look like a f*cking marshmallow.

- Yeah, we look like a boy band, man.

- ♪ Nobody can touch me like you ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh

- I'm Mike, the lead singer.

- ♪ And I can't get enough

- I'm Pauly, the heartthrob.

- ♪ Your beating heart

- I'm Ronnie, the bad boy.

- ♪ Your beating heart

- And we are-- all: DTF, down to farm.

- Look at me, man. - You guys look nice.

- You girls look nice. - Let's go, guys.

It's a great day to have a great day.

Let's go.

all: Situation Farms!

- I don't like the way these things fit.

- I know. It's like riding my nuts.

- Our chariot awaits. Here we are.

- Nice ride. - Ladies first.

- Such a gentleman.

- Take the civilians, all right?

- Yep, yep.

- A farmer, uh, puts duty first.

- Where's Mike?

[beeping]

- Mike, what are you doing?

- I'm tailing the goods.

- You're not coming in here, bro?

- Come on.

- I gotta watch from a safe distance

to make sure you guys are OK. - Come on, Mike.

- Wait, what do you mean watch from a safe distance?

- Everybody ready back there?

- Ready!

- You guys ready?

Yee-haw!

- I don't want to work. I'm a DJ.

- Yeah, I don't want to work.

- If this is work, that mean Nicole gonna show up late?

- So important to stay on time. - Right. I understand.

- Seven other people could show up.

- Yeah.

- I don't see why you couldn't show up.

- Oh, y'all were drinking on the job.

- Look who I found, Pauly. - Where were they?

- Where do you think they were? - Bar.

- You're cute. - Good guess.

- They're still drinking on the job.

- Cheers. [laughs]

- Hi, Mike.

Hi!

I forgot he was back there.

- I can't handle him.

- Let's pretend we're having a blast.

- Let's do a fake laugh like he's missing out on--

- And then everyone look at him.

Ready?

, , .

[laughter]

- Look at him, look at him.

- Mike hates to, like, miss out on things.

- What the hell?

Hey!

- Oh, damn!

Oh, sh*t.

[all screaming]

- What, is he a farmer or a freaking stuntman?

He's crazy pants.

- What the f*ck?

What are you, one of those Halloween people?

[overlapping shouting]

- You better hurry up and get that sh*t.

[chickens clucking]

[upbeat music]

- Damn, that's a lot of chicken.

- Oh, God, the chickens. - Where?

Oh, there's a ton. - Oh, they're so cute.

- This is not gonna be good for me right now.

Since I'm going through the IVF process,

I get, like, nauseous.

I don't do good with, like, yucky around me,

and I just know I'm like a germaphobe.

- Why don't you take a bucket?

Your buckets, there you go.

This coop has about hens in it.

- chickens.

- Mike, we're really doing this?

- Yes. - Hi, chickies.

Oh, my God, there's sh*t.

I don't care. There's sh*t everywhere.

- It smells so bad.

- [retches]

It f*cking smells.

Oh, I can't do it.

- The smell is so bad.

- Get your pukey breath away from me.

- I don't want your pukey breath on me.

- No. - I hate throw-up.

This is my worst nightmare.

I mean, I love animals, but I hate this.

- Watch your step.

- For a girl that's literally smelled

sh*t her entire life--

I just sharted my pants.

I'm so sorry.

This is impressive.

- [retches] - All right.

- It stinks back there. I can't.

[retches] - Oh, sh**t.

- [groans]

[gags] Open the door. I'm gonna throw up.

[grunts]

- [screams] Don't step on the sh*t.

- [retches] - D!

- Oh, eggs!

- Sam, don't go in. Stay out here with me.

- Oh, I can't do it.

It's like juicy dog sh*t right there.

I do not want to enter this thing.

I'm done with it. I'm gonna take the L.

- Sammi, where you at? Sammi!

- I can't do it. - I'm trying.

- I can't do it.

I'm out!

all: Oh!

- Who wants to volunteer and tell me who did it?

- It was Ronnie and it was Pauly.

- No one likes a rat.

- Somebody was blowing up the bathroom.

- Ew. I'm eating.

- It was Ronnie. all: Ew!

- Disgusting.

- I'm out! I'm out! I'm out! [screams]

- That's f*cking crazy!