02x05 - Frenemies

[bunniefuu]

[Vinny] I don't wanna forget Pauly, so I make, like,

a little voodoo doll of Pauly so I can take him with me

everywhere I go while he's gone.

Mike, Angelina's on her way.

This is the worst vacation ever.

I'm annoyed at Nicole for inviting Angelina.

This b*tch is annoying. Why are you doing this to us?

Are you gonna be nice to my friend?

We have things that we have to sort out.

[men shouting]

[Snooki] You could still say "hi" to her.

I am so [bleep] tired from Ron's [bleep].

Like, b*tch, don't try me.

Jenni, do you wanna make me a drink?

No, b*tch, I'm not making you a drink.

♪ Here I come ♪

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now.

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

♪ Here I come ♪♪

♪♪

♪ Hold up, 'bout to roll up ♪

♪ Uh-huh, stayin' on my grind ♪

♪ Man, I bet they know us ♪

♪ That's right, that's right... ♪♪

Where's the alcohol? I wanna party.

Jenni, do you wanna make me a drink?

No, I do not want to make you a drink.

Why?

Yo, like, I caught a back fist

in the first time at the Jersey Shore.

Face-- Ohh!

Angelina, you should proceed with caution.

Make it your damn [bleep] self.

Couldn't you make me a drink?

No, b*tch, I'm not making you a drink.

"b*tch"? Yeah, I'm not making you a drink.

[Angelina] That's not cool. [JWoww] No.

Gah! Maybe I shouldn't have invited her.

I hate myself.

[JWoww] No. That's not cool.

No. What? "That's not cool"?

You came in here acting all hard,

you smack Vinny, you said you're gonna take a dump--

'Cause he's putting me to the [bleep]--

He's putting me inside of a shower.

[JWoww] It's a joke!

I'm having a flashback right now to Miami.

I was able to be part of something that,

like, I always regretted and, like--

You came here, you redeemed yourself.

Yeah, 'cause you guys don't know me out of here.

We don't. At all.

And we wanna know you out of here.

We wanna exchange numbers with you.

I'm pretty sure I hugged it out with you in Miami, girl.

What happened?

You don't have to be mean.

Am I being mean or am I just clapping back?

Clapback season. What?

When you just walked in just now,

it was, like, very rough on your end.

Yeah, you came in hot. You came in not saying hello.

[Angelina] She doesn't know how it feels to be me.

She didn't even give me, like, a chance in Miami at all.

Did I come in hot? Yeah, but it's 'cause

I'm kind of on, like, the defense right now.

Like, I don't know what to expect.

[Mike] There's a bar right there.

You can go and handle something

and, uh, go from there.

I'm a good person.

I don't need to beg to be friends with anybody.

I know that I'm cool with some of them, but as far Jenni?

Like, oh, my God, no. We're not cool at this point.

My girl.Who says "make a drink"?

[Angelina] Maybe I should've said hi.

I don't know how to handle this right now. Well, you could've said hi,

'cause she wasn't ready to, like, start with you.

She was mean to me.

[JWoww] I feel betrayed

because Nicole's friends with Angelina.

She called me a "Jersey wh*re."

So I wanna be like, "Be careful what you wish for."

Be nice to her.

You want that as a friend?

Godspeed and good luck.

Not today, Satan.

Not today, Satan. Maybe tonight.

No. Yeah. [laughing]

Like, she's always giving me, like, attitude all the time.

[Snooki] Well, you know Jenni's my first.

So be nice to her, or it's gonna be very awkward.

I'm definitely stuck in the middle when it comes

to Angelin-er and Jenni, and that's not something

that I like to be.

I just like to be in a happy environment

and everyone's happy and friends, no dram-ur.

So, Angelina, you gotta fix your [bleep] with everybody else

so we can actually start chugging wine and getting drunk.

Pauly?She just smacked your boy, bro.

[knocking at door]

The [bleep] is that? Hold my beer.

This is just like, what else can go wrong?

Oh, thank God. [Snooki] That's Ron? Thank Jesus.

Angelina slapped me. [Snooki] She's here.

She slapped you already? In the face, yeah.

Yeah, she slapped him.

So I didn't miss everything?

Oh, [bleep]!

Hi!Hey! Hi!

How are you? What's up?

[Snooki] That was such a fake "hi." Phony [bleep].

[mocking] Hey, hi. How are you?

[mocking] Hello! How ya doin'?

You know with Angelina, she's gonna come in hot.

But for her to just come in swinging at Vinny,

I mean, that's-- I mean, it's very Angelina, actually.

I expect it. Don't expect anything more.

Yo, I heard, uh, Planet Hollywood has

a jump-in pool this time of the year.

[laughing] Jump-in pool?Yeah.

[Mike] We're gonna try to head straight downstairs.

[Snooki] Well, I'm ready to go.

Yeah. Are you changing?

Yeah, I'm gonna go look for something else.

Dear Jesus, where are you? Take the wheel.

Jesuses.

[Vinny snickering]

♪♪

Look at everyone outside.

[Snooki] Angelina!

Can we just leave her? She'll find it.

We gotta go!

So I'm hoping that, you know,

we go down to the pool, we have some drinks, relax.

Maybe she'll show everyone the Angelina that,

you know, I don't mind.

[Mike] Aww, [bleep]! Look who it is.

[Snooki sneezing]

You allergic to hamsters?

Ohh!

[Vinny] I'm allergic to hamsters.

I'm breaking out a little bit.

I have a little bit of a rash. [Snooki sneezes]

[Vinny] Maybe Nicole is too?

It's contagious. [Vinny chuckles]

[Snooki groans]

I've been dealing with a lot of [bleep]

from them for a long time.

Let's go, fam. Let's go! Let's go!

Pauly, come on! [Snooki] Pauly!

[Vinny, imitating Pauly] Oh, yeah!

Like, chill, because I wanna have fun.

But if you mess with me, I'm gonna mess with you back.

Where's Angelin-er? What? Oh, well.

[door slamming]

[Ronnie] You guys are leaving her already?

It's like a pet, you know where to walk.

♪♪

[Vinny] Pauly, you excited?

[Angelina laughing]

Yes, yes, yes.

No, I'm good, thank you. I like French fries.

[both] Ohh!

[imitating Pauly] Single Ronnie's back! Single Ronnie's back!

[normal voice] I didn't say it, Pauly said it.

Pauly, bro, you don't say nothin' all day, bro.

When I walked in, there was a cabana over there,

like, it had a couple girls in it, you know?

Oh, you're talking about me? All right.

Nah, I'm talking to Pauly.

They're in love. What do you want, you know?

Who am I to judge?

Did you guys meet Pauly?

[Vinny] Pauly is a great wingman.

It's so easy when we pick up chicks together.

He's a little quiet, you know,

but... try both.

So i-- you guys here just together?

You guys wanna hang out with us, let me know, all right?

[laughing]

[Vinny] Oh, man. I'm missing Pauly.

Like, I can't deal with it, you know?

Cheers. Cheers!

I'm trying! You have to talk to her.

[JWoww] I honestly have no idea who Angelina is,

because one minute she comes in hot,

the next minute she comes in happy.

Not lettin' it ruin me.

No code, no respect of the family.

Like, grow up. Who you got beef with, girl?

[Angelina] It's not really beef, it's more like...

You wanna straighten some [bleep] out. Yeah, that's it. It's not beef.

You just wanna clear the air.Yeah.

♪ Enjoy the [bleep] day ♪♪

Me and you had so much fun in Miami, right?

Like, we had a lot of fun? Yeah. Super cool.

That's why you thought it was gonna be okay. Exactly.

That's, like, the real me.

Right now, I'm a little, like...

I'm, like, taken back a little bit.

Oh, my God. I hate drama and fighting.

It just ruins my day.

I just wanna squash this once and for all.

[Snooki] She got upset, uh, you didn't cheers her.

She tried to cheers you.

Why would she, all of a sudden, say cheers to me?

She's trying to-- I don't know.

[JWoww] I don't know what the [bleep]

Nicole was expecting inviting Angelina.

If you wanna hang out with Angelina,

go hang out with Angelina.

I don't need to be friends with her.

You can't force friendships.

But like, either way, I'm not the d*ck in this circumstance.

Dude, I don't-- that's why I'm just trying

to [bleep] enjoy my last couple of days.

I'm a mom now.

If I'm gonna keep getting this bully,

like, dumb [bleep], I'm out.

Jenni, relax. Let's just enjoy ourselves.

No one talk to me. Let me just drink and listen to music.

[JWoww] I'm at the pool to have fun.

I'm like, yeah, well, I'm gonna put that on the backburner.

Like, b*tch, I just wanna get drunk and enjoy my life.

♪♪

Awkward!

Go over there and sit down, girl.

I can't! They're being awkward.

[Mike] They're not used to hanging out with you.

So, because you had an issue with JWoww,

JWoww's over there and then they're all over there.

And now it's like, you know, a little bit of a divide.

So you're just gonna have to confront it, that's all.

But when I hung out with Nicole by myself, there was no issues.

[Mike] Yeah, of course. Yeah.

And now it's like, when she's here,

it's-- Nicole's-- but that's her best friend.

I get it, I totally understand. Yeah.

But it's almost like,

I kinda need, like, somebody

that's on my side a little bit.

I told you before you came down here.

I said, try not to be a b*tch.

Just be yourself.

I-- Mike. I am so tired.

I had one hour of sleep, Mike. One hour.

[Mike] You don't have to explain to me.

You're gonna have to eventually get them in the house

and be like, "Hey, I came in a little hot.

You know, maybe I shouldn't have acted that way."

I came in hot because I need

to make sure that I defend myself.

I could not be a chew toy to Jenni any longer.

I don't know, I mean, like,

shouldn't they be trying to be friends with me as well?

Like, why does it always have to be one-sided?

I honestly would love to be friends with the roommates, but you know what?

If it's gonna be that hard, I don't know.

You have to, you know, convince the mob over here.

I did not come here to [bleep] argue.

You said "Jersey wh*re"...

I did! ...out of nowhere!

It's not like I'm sitting there lying.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, I literally said--

I'm a wh*re? Well, you were acting like a [bleep] wh*re.

Angelina, how?!

[Ronnie] I don't know what Angelina's thinking messing with Jenni.

Roger don't even do that yet, and he's been married to her for eight years.

♪♪

[Mike] You have to, you know, convince the mob over here.

I came here to have fun and party.

You'll be all right. Have fun.

You gotta stay in your lane

and run your race. You'll be fine.

I feel comfortable giving Angelina some advice

to let her know the vacation is definitely going to be

a long one if she keeps this up.

Do you know what I'm saying?

A hund-- a hundred percent.

I know everything he's telling me is coming from a really good place.

I will try my best, which is gonna be very hard.

Pool's closed. We gotta go upstairs.

Are we out? Yep.

♪♪

Let's go upstairs, shower, go to dinner at the Cromwell,

and then go straight to Drai's?

We're going to Drai's? Is that good? Yeah.

Ohh, [bleep]!

[both] Wangerz!

How did we do that at the same time?

I can't.

Angelina has failed with squashing beef with Jenni.

And I know Jenni's annoyed at me because I invited Angelina.

And I know she can be a good time,

but I just, you know, I wanna fix it with Jenni.

Oh, my God! I passed away!

My God! You're so--

What was that?! That was, like, solid pounds.

[fake Australian accent] What was that in the wild?

I'm getting attacked by a JWoww!

'Ello, we're in Australia.

And right now,

we're gonna watch some guidos brawl it out.

I'm getting attacked by a JWoww!

Please help!

And we're gonna watch the guidos.

Crocodile, or so-- Ow!

See how they enviorate-- "enviorate"?

The guido dragon gone crazy and black out!

And that's what's gonna happen tonight,

on this episode of "Jersey Shore Family Vacation."

[normal voice, laughing] This is why moms should not drink.

I'm gonna be out the whole day tomorrow.

Nicole is my ride-or-die. She's my best friend.

[fake Australian accent] The JWoww gave me a rug burn!

[JWoww] But, like, Nicole didn't tell me that she invited Angelina.

Every time she tries to bring someone else

into the group, that's not allowed.

[squealing] I fell!

[JWoww] So I don't know if being drunk will help that,

or make the situation worse.

[Snooki giggling]

Como? I don't know.

♪ Oh-oh, yeah-ah ♪

♪ Hey hey hey ♪♪

Vinny, do you want to die that I'm sleeping next to you tonight?

If I was like, "rooming with you" rooming with you, like...

You'd die. Probably.

Why?

It is kind of...

[Ronnie] Kinda rude that you slapped him as soon as you walked in.

Yeah. I'm sorry for slapping you.

[Vinny] Okay, but-- Can we let it go?

[Vinny] I'm letting it go.

But we have a history of you coming at me a little bit.

So I have to walk

a little bit on egg shells around you.

I think Vinny is very sensitive. It was a fun slap.

It wasn't anything crazy. But you know what?

I don't wanna have problems with Jenni and Vinny,

so I just wanna apologize to Vinny and just get that off my chest.

People make mistakes. I'm tired.

I didn't sleep. I'm not perfect.

[Vinny] I've been there, but no one in this house

has slapped me in the face.

If you could slap people every time you had a long day?

Like, you don't shake hands anymore.

You just slap 'em in the face. Like, yo, what's up, man?

[makes slapping sound] I had a long day.

I'm having, like, a little bit

of a crazy day right now, is what I'm saying.

Oh, aren't you always? Not saying it's--

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Just, you know, long day at the office.

[Angelina] I'm sorry. It's-- it's okay.

This has been the same way with you

since we first lived with each other.

You have a scarlet letter on you.

You know what that means?

You come in, and you, like...

again, like-- Tornado Angelina.

Yeah, like, you come and you [bleep] up.

Like, it's like a stigma.

I try and explain "Scarlet Letter" to Angelina,

and it's going nowhere.

Like, a little bit of, like, a stigma of being,

like, this shocking, nasty--

But that's funny! It's all in good--

I know! No one's saying it's not--

It's all in good fun.

She's just like, "Yo, who the [bleep] is Scarlet, bro?

"What the [bleep]? Tell her to [bleep] email me.

I don't want no [bleep] letters! Who uses letters anymore?!"

Bro, no one labeled it as "bad."

It just labeled it as "holy [bleep]."

[Angelina] I'm trying to, like, not fight with you.

I slapped you. I said I was sorry.

[Ronnie] You guys fight all the time. You're like--

You guys have, like, one more hate-bang to get out or something.

[Angelina] No, I'm not [bleep] DTF anymore, Vin.

Oooh! All right, calm down.

I mean, if Vinny and Angelina share the same room,

that-- that'll just be the smush room

since they smushed before...

...and you can tell they got

a little sexual tension still going on, you know?

Been there, done that with you. [Ronnie] Ooh!

[Vinny] Listen, me and Angelina are cool.

But I'm definitely not trying to hate-[bleep] Angelina.

Maybe if, like, the world was on the line.

Like, some Armageddon [bleep].

Like, if they were like, "Vinny, your mission is

to [bleep] Angelina", I would do it, you know what I mean?

Like, for the goodness of humanity.

[laughing]

I honestly don't remember your [bleep].

Ooh!

[Angelina] I do-- No! I'm not being mean!

I don't.Aah! Wait.

I'm not saying it's small. [Ronnie trilling]

I'm saying I don't remember!

Have you ever shopped for eggplant at the supermarket?

[Ronnie] Ooh!

Some of the cornerstones of guido math is,

like, comparing, like, things to penises.

Hey, you see that can of spray paint?

No! Come on. I don't believe you.

We gotta use a guido metric system.

She said, "What's bigger, your [bleep] or a Redbull?"

[Vinny] Nah, a Redbull's too skinny.

More like an Arizona iced tea!

It's more like a quart of milk.

[both laughing]

[Ronnie] I give it about...

[blows raspberry] hours.

I can't.

Like, Jenni, let her go!

[all exclaiming]

♪ I got that new thing that you might wanna hear... ♪

[Snooki belches]

Hat forwards? Get up. Ow!

Or hat backwards? I like it like that.

Let me pass for five minutes. Come on, no.

I think I gotta change your shirt.

Going to Drai's tonight, kid!

Nice T-shirt. This is a con-fresh-ional now.

Blowout got a touch up. That's my boy right there.

I love you, bro. All right.

Fresh.

Why, hello. Big Daddy Sitch here.

Due to the dry humidity out here in Vegas,

Big Daddy Sitch's skin has been a little off.

Oh, my God. What the [bleep]?

So therefore, today, I have decided

to have a little midday mask, AKA treat thyself.

I need an insane asylum after this [bleep].

[laughing]

All right, I gotta get up.

How'd you get ready like that?

All I did was put Madonna in and some red lip gloss.

You're high class, and I'm trailer trash trying to get by!

[JWoww] You need Jesus. Youneed Jesus!

Me and Jenni wanna go gambling,

but I'm not gonna invite Angelina

because we need to just break away for a little bit

and just be Snooki and JWoww.

Where are you going? Prom? I hate you.

Bye, everyone!

I'm drunk. [laughing] Let's go this way.

Ooh, let's watch that girl dance.

I like her rhythm. How do they concentrate on betting?

[fake Southern accent] I know, Marge, if I had a p*nis,

I'd be watching their vag*na instead of the chips.

[normal voice] Anytime you go to a casino, you see, like,

the old two ladies, they're best friends,

they're in wheelchairs, they can't even breathe.

It's talking to me.It is?

Yeah. What? Who's in there?

But they're gambling and they're drinking.

You just won!

Get it, girl! Yay!

That's gonna be me and Jenni when we grow up.

[fake Southern accent] Come on, Edna! Aah!

[normal voice] It keeps going! Yeah, girl!

You win? What'd I win?

A whole $. [bleep].

[Vinny] Ronnie!

Yo! Ready to go?

Where's the girls? They went to gamble.

We're gonna meet them. Ooh, look at you.

[Vinny] Looks like the start of a spiral.

[Ronnie] Nah, I can't.

Wait, wait, wait. Why you "lion"? Ha! [lion growling]

For some reason, this guy likes wearing the weirdest [bleep].

It's likely from "The Lion King" or some [bleep].

Oh, no, I forgot my boyfriend! Is it open?

Yo, you're a worse boyfriend than I am, bro.

Please forgive me. I'm so sorry.

[imitating Pauly] All right, elevators are here!

[fake Southern accent] Ooh, look at those booties, Marge!

[fake Southern accent] That used to be my booty, Edna!

I'm emotionally tapped out from this week,

so it's really nice to just be with Nicole.

There's Jessica Rabbit.

For that five seconds, I forgot Angelina was in Vegas.

Come on, guys, follow me!

[Snooki] What's in there?

Coffee. We are wasted.

I definitely think Jenni and Angelina need to sit down

and just figure out what the hell is going on.

They're definitely both in the wrong.

I don't know-- two wrongs don't make a right, dude.

You guys need to fix yourselves.

Maybe you should say your [bleep] before we drink.

All right, let's-- let's air our [bleep] out.

Don't make it dramatic.

Just, why did you call Jenni a wh*re?

After Miami and I thought I left on good terms with you,

and then I see you said, "She's a dirty hamster,"

and blah blah blah. That wasn't cool.

You said "Jersey wh*re"... I did!

...out of nowhere.

[sighing] k*ll me.

I did not come here to [bleep] argue.

Like, I just wanna have fun.

Putting "Jersey wh*re" out there really was the best option?

[Snooki] What the [bleep]?

This is not what I envisioned.

Jesus Christ, I feel like they're my kids.

I admitted to her, like, what the [bleep] I said.

Like, it's not like I'm sitting there lying.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, I literally said--

I'm a wh*re?

Well, you were acting like a [bleep] wh*re.

Angelina, how?!

♪♪

[Snooki] Angelina, how?!

She's a [bleep] mom of two!

She's not a wh*re! Not a wh*re like that, you a*s!

Like a freakin' b*tch! Like, you were acting like a b*tch.

There's a difference between a wh*re and a b*tch. b*tch and wh*re is a huge difference.

You're a mother so you're not a wh*re. A b*tch. There ya go.

I just don't understand. Like, Nicole can call you a wh*re, Jenni, but I can't?

Like, that's a double standard.

You're not friends like that to call her a wh*re.

You have to be in the inner circle... She's not a wh*re.

...to be dropping bombs. Well, I'm trying to, but--

If you're in an inner circle, and you call like,

"Oh, you're such a wh*re," to a friend, fine.

If you're on the outside and you call me a wh*re?

Explain yourself. Like, what are you trying to get at, b*tch?

Just say you're sorry and, "I shouldn't have called you that."

I'm sorry for calling you a "Jersey wh*re", okay?

If you wanna have a good time and us be okay with this,

just don't start drama, please.

We really don't want it, please.

Okay. Deal. Deal?

To be continued. We'll see.

Listen, I'm forgiving right now, but I'm not forgetting.

It really comes down to the next opportunity,

whether she will sink or swim, so, it's a wait and see.

[sighing]

♪♪

[imitating Pauly] Oh, yeah, Drai's, yeah!

It's happening!

Yo, Jessica Rabbit, you good?

I don't wanna break my Loubs!

She came like this! She's like-- It's happening!

Oh, let's be classy.

Tonight, we're going to dinner at Giada's.

Hola! Cómo está?

I love restaurants like this, 'cause everything

just looks so beautiful.

[Snooki]Yes!

[Vinny] Mike doesn't have to order, yes!

It's classy...

Yaass!

[Snooki] ...delicious Italian food, so it feels like Sunday dinner.

Ohh, yum.

[Mike] Oh, my God!

[laughing]

Pauly, eat your pasta.

[Ronnie imitating Pauly] Okay!

[laughing]

On a scale of one to ten, how much do you miss Pauly?

,. [laughing]

[Vinny] I have Flat Pauly.

I love him. You know, he's doing okay,

but it's not the same as hearing Pauly's voice.

[Pauly D, echoing] Oh, yeah!

[Vinny] I'm a little deprived right now.

Sucks that he can't be here.

[Angelina] Are you all right?

'Cause you're, like, not-- No, you're not all right.

No, I'm definitely not all right.

♪ I ain't no god, I don't... ♪

[Pauly D, echoing] Wake up, Keto Guido!

[all cheering]

There's my boyfriend!

[Pauly D, echoing] It's boat day, Keto Guido!

♪ And underneath it all I know you love me, too ♪

[laughter echoing]

It's definitely weird without him.

He doesn't know you're here.

He doesn't? [Snooki] Oh, so...

He doesn't know you're here. No.

And she's in his bed right now. Oh, no!

I don't wanna be a surprise on every vacation, come on!

No, it's gonna be funny.

[Ronnie] It's not the worst thing to be in Pauly's bed.

Ooh!

I mean, he's not ugly. He's cute.

Ohh! Is Pauly your hall pass?

No!

Vinny's your hall pass.

I already did you.

Ooh, she already did you. [Angelina] You did him too!

Yeah, but I don't say, "I already did you."

We're booby sisters and sex sisters.

Oh, God. [Snooki]Oh, God!

Oh, my God!

It's a joke.

Um, I need to die.

Angelina's being a raunch, and I love it.

I can't!

I have not shown you my boobs yet.

Since we got our t*ts done at the same place,

I just wanna see how he did on yours,

and I wanna compare them to mine.

And then I wanna feel yours.

[Snooki] That's cheating.

No, I'll do both at the same time.

We go from, like, "We're gonna be civil,"

and now you wanna touch my t*tties.

This is exactly the dinner I did not want.

[JWoww] I'm just apologizing for my friends and I.

Food, perfection.

Conversation, horrendous.

Show me your t*ts! Show me your t*ts!

[Vinny] Angelina, can you stop talking?

[Angelina] Show me your t*ts! Show me your t*ts!

I'm trying, man.

I take all their jokes. I literally deal with it.

So maybe if I, like, be funny, they'll actually accept me,

which that's what I'm gonna do.

Show me your t*ts!

All right, show me your boobs then.

Keep it at a minimum when the waiter's here so we don't get kicked out.

[Angelina] No, I'm serious. Can I show you my boobs?

[Snooki squeals]

[Mike] Oh, my God! Is that fried chicken?

Oh, God!

Any minute right now, I am gonna wake up...

Should I whip it out here?

...and this is not real.

Wow, this fried chicken's good.

[Angelina] Should I whip 'em out right now?

Oh, my God!

I just don't get it. How is Nicole such good friends with Angelina?

I'm serious.

Like, Whip It Out [bleep] Wednesday.

[Mike] Whip It Out Wednesday. [Angelina] Whip it out.

All I wanted was a good night.

There's, like, so many different things going on,

I don't know what to do.

Foods, t*tties.

Show me your t*ts!JWoww.

Oh, my God!

Show me your t*ts! It's happening!

Show me your t*ts!

I gotta get away from her. [Snooki squeals] No, stay!

No, no, Jenni! I'm out, I'm done!

[Snooki squealing] No, get back here!

Happy Bachelorette Day! She's cheating.

[JWoww] So over this moment.

I need to get myself new friends.

[Vinny] All right, guys, wanna go to Drai's?

Drai's it is. Let's go. I made friends.

You're ruining the [bleep] mood, stop.

Really, bro? Are you-- Are you serious?

Oh, and I'm being overdramatic?

Good night.

After dinner, I'm just hoping it's so loud

that I won't be able to hear Angelina anymore.

I'm, like, tapped out.

♪♪

[Mike] Yo, Drai's is so lit. There's so many people.

There is a sea of thotties everywhere.

And I'm thinking to myself, like,

I'm gonna have nowhere to go soon.

♪♪

[Ronnie] A lot of [bleep]'s been going down in this house, you know,

a lot of real-life stuff with Jen and the baby.

You know, usually I'm fighting with somebody or something,

but tonight, I'm like, [bleep] it. I'm gonna have a good time.

I'm not gonna scream it out, I'm not gonna fight it out,

I'm gonna dance it out of me.

♪♪

Ron is in an amazing mood tonight.

It's so good to watch him have fun.

He's, like, breaking out all his signature moves tonight.

Happy feet, salsa, twerkin', a*s shakin',

fist pumping, doing the serial k*ller.

All the classics.

[man] So, Happy Birthday tonight...

Whoo!

[JWoww] I don't know, it's like, I don't even know how to explain it.

Kind of looks like cardio workout/drunk Irish douchebag.

So, I don't know. It just-- It's not flowing.

♪♪

Having a great time for once!

[Angelina] It's obvious that Jenni still holds resentment towards me,

and I'm-- I'm to blame a little bit.

But I'm trying genuinely to be friends with her,

and maybe we could squash this eventually.

[Angelina] I just wanna, like, party and let loose,

and, like, have fun, and she's just not having it.

I don't know if my approach is wrong, but I'm trying.

[Angelina] At one point, Nicole puts ice down my shirt playfully.

So, I figured, why not put it down Jenni's?

Aah!

[JWoww] What the [bleep] is going on?

Angelina is trying to pull down my shirt and chasing me,

and since all this boob talk at dinner,

saying she wants to see our boobs,

I don't want your hands on me.

[Ronnie] I don't know what Angelina's thinking messing with Jenni.

Roger don't even do that yet,

and he's been married to her for eight years.

[JWoww]Stop! [Snooki squeals]

[Mike] Oh, oh, oh!

Jenni, let her go! Let her go.

[Mike] Jenni! Jenni! [Snooki screaming]

♪♪

Stop!

You're nuts. You're out of your damn mind.

What is wrong with you? Stop!

[Snooki screaming]

[Mike] Ohh! Jenni, Jenni!

[all exclaiming]

Yeah, my approach is just-- it's not working.

[Snooki] I feel like Angelina is not going about Jenni right at all.

Like, you need to talk to her so she feels comfortable with you.

You're very aggressive towards her.

You need to slow your roll a little bit,

and maybe tomorrow it'll be more positive,

and you won't end up in a choke hold.

[Vinny] Woke up to some craziness today.

My uncle has passed away.

My uncle was an amazing guy.

He was always the life of a party,

so I have a heavy heart right now.

It's just a sucky situation just to be in right now,

so I'm just-- just dealing with it.

Received some bad news from back home.

I'm gonna be going. Oh, my God.

[Vinny] I unfortunately have to go home.

I wish it didn't have to be like this.

I'm just a little... out of it.

I mean, we knew it was coming.

Less is more when it comes to personal stuff with me.

[Ronnie] You all right?

[bleep], yeah, I mean, I'm just depressed,

but it's not about me, you know what I mean?

So, it's, like, it's about my family.

[JWoww] Vinny is very emotional right now.

He doesn't show it, but he is.

He's actually introverted a little bit,

and he doesn't wanna show his emotions.

We're all here for him.

I have to go be with my family.

My family comes first, obviously,

but I definitely wanna come back, you know?

So, hopefully, that works out.

♪♪

Oh, Vegas finally hit me. I'm out!

I don't remember coming home.

You ate fries and a burger on the toilet.

Sounds like a Vegas story.

Mm-hmm. Hmm. Pauly missed a good night.

I am ready for him to see what's in his bed.

[chuckling]

[whistle blowing]

In Miami, Pauly pranked us with Angelina.

What if we surprise that [bleep] with Angelina?

Party's here!

[Pauly D] Hey, girls! [Vinny] Hi.

Hi! Huh?

Good night, Miami. Prank Wars Champion!

But now, we're pranking you, b*tch.

She's still sleeping.

Shh shh shh! [JWoww] Yeah, we should be quiet.

[Ronnie] Yeah, 'cause we're gonna wake her up.

Shh!

Let him just walk in and put his stuff in the room.

Let him find her. [JWoww snorts]

Pauly's gonna freak out. I think he's gonna burn the bed.

He's be like, "All right!"

[all] All right! All right, all right!

That's what's up. That's what's up. You got me.

[elevator bell dings]

Should we wake Mike up? No. Nah.

'Cause then he's gonna tell Pauly that she's in the bed like--

He's like, "I'm not supposed to say anything, but there's a girl in your bed."

You're right. "Angelina's in the bed and they baked you a cake."

He can't keep a secret for his life.

We baked you a Funfetti cake and Angelina's in your bed.

[Ronnie] I think this prank is better than his.

[JWoww] Yeah. [Snooki] For sure.

Because... He has no idea.

...he only brought her to the house that day,

and now she's in his bed, though, and she slept in there.

Yeah, she, like, marinated in his bed.

It's not like we put any-- She didn't even shower.

With no underwears. It was after we were dancing.

Eww! I was sweating and [bleep].

I'm home! Did ya miss me?!

Hey, buddy! Hi, Pauly.

I missed you guys. We missed you so much.

You missed such a good night. Yeah, we had a good--

We went to Drai's last night. Oh, nice!

It was turnt up. I missed you guys.

Where's, uh, where's Mike at?

Uh, he's still sleeping. He's hungover.

Yeah, right.Yeah.

Why it's so dark up in--

What the hell?

What the hell?!

That's my bed!

♪♪

[Pauly D] I'm home!

Why it's so dark up in-- What the hell?!

[thunder rumbling, woman screaming]

[Angelina] They told me to sleep here.

That's my bed! I was not gonna sleep on the floor.

Oh, man, it's disgusting.

This girl's hygiene is questionable.

I'm too OCD for that. So gross.

They made me sleep in this bed. I asked them.

Did you wash those panties from Miami?

[Snooki] She's not wearing any. Oh!

Now I gotta burn that bed.

Ew! Ew!

I pranked the Prank w*r Champion,

so now I am the Prank w*r Champion.

Uh, no.

But I don't want him to get me back because I hate pranks.

But now, the only bed open is...

[Ronnie] Vinny's bed.

[Mike] ...is Vinny's bed.

[Pauly D] Where's this Keto Guido?

You missed-- You missed a lot.

My boy Vinny's not here and I miss him already, and then bam!

The Staten Island Dump is up in Las Vegas.

[dance music playing on cell phone]

[Pauly D] How was Vinny? Not in good spirits?

[Ronnie] He came out for a little bit.

[bleep] just got rocky up in here.

I was gone for five seconds.

It was one day. I lost roommate, gained a roommate.

Yep. [bleep], I miss everything.

I'm never leaving again.

[Snooki] Yeah, you missed a lot.

I'm never leaving again.

His spirt is alive in this household,

and that's how we do it, Las Vegas style.

Yeah, buddy!

Is that string cheese? Mm-hmm, it's keto.

Oh, my God! It's keto cheese.

That's funny. I miss Vinny.

Vinny not being here is not sitting right with me.

It's like I don't have my right-hand man,

my partner in crime.

I can't go out like that.

Sorry, Vinny, it's gonna hurt a little bit.

Nice!

I done made myself a keto chain.

A Keto Guido chain right here.

There you go.

Boom.

You're like MacGyver.

Guido MacGyver.

Vinny made a Pauly out of hairspray,

and now Pauly made a cheese stick of Vinny.

They're obsessed with each other.

I wish me and Jenni were this cute.

We, like, hate each other.

I wanna call to get a turndown service.

The roommates got me with Angelina.

I'm the Prank w*r Champion, but they're trying to take my title.

Um, my bed was soiled last night.

There was a Staten Island Dump

that happened to occur in it last night.

I was wondering if I can get that one cleaned?

[Pauly D] Can they actually change the mattress out, too?

Thank you very much.

Bring the hazmat suits, some flamethrowers.

There's no way we're saving this bed.

Believe it or not, I'm starting to run out of outfits.

[Snooki] It's 'cause you change, like, four times a day.

You brought four suitcases. What are you talking about?

Mike had the same amount of suitcases

that me and Pauly brought together.

Well, I have-- I have a reserve suitcase.

Definitely think one of those luggages are for food.

[Mike chuckling]

[knock at door]

[Snooki gasps] Who's that?

The hell?

Yeah, buddy! Hey, how you doing?

Payback is a b*tch!

[JWoww] Oh, my God!

[Snooki] Wait, Pauly, what is this for?

Follow me, please!

[Angelina] What are you doing? What is this?

[Angelina] Pauly!

You can't prank the Prank w*r Champion.

[Angelina laughing] [Snooki]Pauly!

We gotta put my sheets in here.

[Snooki] Oh, my God.

What the [bleep]?!

There was a situation in here last night right in this bed,

so if we could just take these sheets, if you would.

[man] Yeah, we can take it all off, yeah.

Take it all off. Throw that one out and get some new ones.

Pauly! I don't know what went on in here last night.

Nothing! I didn't [bleep]!

I don't know. You've got a track record.

I [bleep] my pants.

[Pauly D] Look at that bag they put it in.

[Snooki] Oh, my God! The hazard bag.

[Pauly D] When it's red, it's-- it's bad.

[Snooki] No, that's like death.

Thanks, guys. [laughing]

Every hamster needs their cage cleaned once in a while.

Prank's on me... again.

[Pauly D] Hey, listen, we had to extract those sheets, know what I mean?

[Mike] Yeah.

♪♪

Where's, uh, Angelina?

We took a shot together.

We're having a meatball day.

I fee like we've been having a meatball week.I know.

Me and Jenni are not in a good place right now.

Jenni's mad at me because, obviously, I invited Angelina,

so I feel like we need a little pick-me-up.

Can we invite Joey here? It'd be such a good time.

So, my best friend Joey is, like,

a full-blown cheerleader good time,

and whenever I'm upset or down, he always picks me up,

so I feel like this is gonna be amazing.

Yo, you can have him come. He'll come. He likes Vegas.

That would be insane if Joey came, guys. He's such a good time.

Such a good guy. Bro, he's always asking me to come to Vegas.

He loves Vegas. Let's call Joey!

[Mike] Brace yourself.

Joey is extra as [bleep].

Hey, squirrel!

Hey!

Say hi to my friends!

Joey, what up, my guy? [Mike] What up, what up, what up?

Joey, I have a question. [Pauly D] Joey, are you shirtless?

Are you naked? Can I see?

Eww!

Course, he's naked and hungover. Story of his life.

So, I really miss you. [Joey] I miss you!

Do you wanna come to Vegas?

Yo, see if you can get on a flight right now.

Can you get on a plane? Yes!

[Snooki]Yay!

All right, I'm gonna get you Pauly's jet,

and you'll be here. [Pauly laughing]

Bye, squirrel!

Well, everybody, get ready for that.

Joey's coming! [screaming]

[JWoww] I'm annoyed at Nicole for inviting Angelina,

and now Joey's coming in.

I just want time with my roommates,

my family, on vacation.

I'm so excited Joey's coming.

[JWoww] Hmm. This is a family vacation.

This isn't a "third wheel friend" vacation.

And now, I'm a little bitter.

The vibe's changed so much this last hours,

I have decided to go home.

♪♪

You guys ready? The food's here.

[JWoww] Yeah. [Mike] Let's eat.

[Snooki] Thanks, Mike.

[JWoww] I'm stressed right now

because I decided to tell everyone

at dinner tonight that I'm leaving early,

and I don't wanna ruin the vacation.

But it feels very weird

not being in a good place with Nicole right now.

I did not expect Vegas to go the way that it did.

I also, you know, didn't expect the Mother's Day video

to go the way that it did.

[Snooki] I totally forgot!

On the real, I cried.

You're mad at me?

Between that, and then, like,

the whole inviting Angelina, so disrespectful.

If that's not enough,

all of a sudden, Joey's coming in.

Like, what? Come on.

How's everyone's "Deena"?

[Mike] Deena!

[Pauly D] It's okay.

Food brings family togethers.

I have an announcement.

♪♪

Well... I'm gonna go home.

Huh?

[JWoww] I have to go, but I think it's perfect timing

with Joey coming in, anyway, so...

Okay. When are you leavings?

Tomorrow.

Ooh!

b*tch, what the [bleep]?

Don't be sad. Don't be mad. Angelina's here.

[Pauly D] Hey! Right?

Not cool.

♪♪