02x06 - The Designation

[bunniefuu]

Woke up to some craziness today. My uncle has passed away.

I have to go be with my family.

[Ronnie] I don't know what Angelina's thinking messing with Jenni.

Roger don't even do that yet,

and he's been married to her for eight years.

[all exclaiming]

Do you wanna come to Vegas? Yes!

Joey's coming! [shrieking]

I have an announcement. I'm gonna go home.

Not cool.

♪♪

Yeah, buddy!

Party's here!

The Situation is under construction.

This might not have been the best idea.

We're so classy now.

On the seventh day, it'll be lit.

Get the frig out of here, you crazy!

♪♪

♪♪

[JWoww] I have an announcement.

I'm gonna go home.

♪♪

Huh?

[JWoww] I have to go, but I think

it's perfect timing with Joey coming in anyway, so...

[Angelina] I'm kinda, like, loving this right now.

Jenni leaving?

This is, like, the best thing that could happen to me.

Nicole and me could get closer over this.

[Mike] When are you leavings?

Tomorrow.

Ooh.

Mmm.

[Ronnie] She's like, "Hey, by the way, girl, I gotta go.

See ya!" She's like, door--

her foot was already in the car service.

She's like, "I'm out." I was like, what the [bleep]?

Don't be sad. Don't be mad. Angelina's here.

Heyy! Right?

Not cool. [bleep] that [bleep].

Oh, my God.

How the [bleep] is that fair? [bleep] that.

[JWoww] Nicole's hurt that I'm leaving.

But like, I'm hurt too.

She didn't go in my Mother's Day video.

She's a mom, she should get it. She's my best friend.

She's the godmother to one of my kids.

[Snooki] I totally forgot.

On the real? I cried.

Are you kidding? Oh, my God.

[JWoww] And then, like, the whole inviting Angelina...

Mike, Angelina's on her way. Get the [bleep] out of here.

Wait, what? [exhaling]

[JWoww] Come on, this b*tch is annoying.

So I don't wanna be in the house with her.

[Snooki] Jesus [bleep] Christ.

She only just cares about her [bleep] self.

What an a*s[bleep].

Godspeed, girl.

I can see a fight coming from a mile away

with Jenni and Nicole.

This thing's about to explode.

[Snooki] [bleep] that [bleep].

Not cool. What do you mean, not cool?

Leaving early. Why the [bleep] are you mad at me?

I'm only leaving two days before you.

But you never told me you were leaving early.

[JWoww] Oh, [bleep] my life. Nicole is way overreacting.

I honestly did not think this was a big thing.

She's like, beating me down at the fact

that I didn't tell her. Like, come on.

[Snooki] But why wouldn't you tell me?

That's annoying.

[shivers] Mm-hmm. It's chilly up in here.

[Mike] These girls have a little bit of beef on the barbecue.

When Jenni is fighting Snooki, it's like a Chihuahua

trying to fight a pit bull.

We all know how that ends.

Nicole?

Your friend Joey is coming, right?Yeah.

[Pauly D] So Joey's wild, he's like Nicole's right-hand man.

He's her best friend. He's, uh, very vocal.

And Joey's always doing the most, he's extra.

♪♪

I can't wait, 'cause I wanna meet one of your best friends.

♪♪

Where the hell is this?

You guys have all met Joey?

Yeah. Yep.

♪♪

Curacao... [all greeting]

[Angelina] Guys, there he is.

Hi! Are you a hot mess?

[Pauly D] Just in the nick of time.

[Snooki] I'm so grateful Joey's here.

He's my g*y best friend, my brother that I never wanted,

and he's just an amazing bad influence on me.

And whenever I'm upset or down, he always picks me up.

You're a hot mess.

[crying] I'm sad.

Jenni's leaving and she didn't tell me.

Party-[bleep]-pooper.

I thought we were gonna rage instead of [bleep] crying.

Sick time.I know.

[Joey gasps] Where's the bar?

I need to catch up. Should I drink out of this?

[all laughing]

What happens in here?

[Pauly D] Oh, you know what happens in there, Joey.

So you can get drunk in there.

Are you ready, Ron?

[Ronnie] Why not invite Joey when everything

is spiraling out of control in everyone's life?

And let's bring Joey!

Hi, hello, hamster.

When'd you get here?

This will never go away, huh? "Hamster."

It will never go away. Never.

[Mike] Yo, hurry up. We gotta get out of here, man.

Ugh! [Pauly D] Let's go!

Raging tonight, we're going to Drai's.

[Joey] Where's that? [Pauly D] It's...

Dr. Dre's? No! [laughing]

♪♪

Got my wingman with me tonight.

I'm getting [bleep] up tonight, boy.

It's, like, not a big deal, so...

It is a big deal. I need you.

Can you please liven up? I came...

I'm trying! That really [bleep] me up.

I hope they let me in with my skinny Keto guido.

[Mike] Let's go.

♪♪

[Pauly D] We're turning up in the club.

I got Skinny Vinny with me. He's dancing with me.

We're having a great time, and then, like, Angelina,

outta nowheres...

...kills my boyfriend.

Angelina taking a bite out of this cheese

is like a pin straight through my heart.

[shrieks]

[Snooki] This cheese has probably been

out of the fridge for, like, three days.

Poor Keto cheese is melting. Nasty!

♪♪

[Mike] Angelina, what are you doing?

Big Daddy Sitch wouldn't even eat that right now.

I'm hungry-- like, a girl gets hungry when they're in the club.

♪♪

[Snooki] Joey being here is like, the perfect time

because I need to laugh in this b*tch.

Joey!

Joey!

Anytime we're together, we just get drunk,

we do stupid [bleep],

and he just puts me in a good mood.

[Joey muttering incoherently]

[laughing]

[Mike] Listen, as a sober person,

having to deal with Angelina and then you add in Joey,

who's also extra as [bleep], it's like--

bro, it's like... it's a lot.

♪♪

Stop!

[Ronnie] Joey makes Angelina seem tame.

Every time you try to talk to someone,

he comes over and tries to talk to them,

or touching me, or-- you know?

It's just a little bit too much.

It's like, dude, you're in my space, bro.

Like, get out of-- like, this is me, that's you.

Don't put this here. Don't touch.

♪♪

Stop!

I'm not a piece of meat.

I have feelings and emotions.

[whispering] And a p*nis.

No, no, no, no, no.

Okay.

Salud!

Me, I can usually gauge, I can pace myself, it's great.

But sometimes I toe the limit.

So normally if I'm at a , this time I was at a .

Look to the person on your right side and say "turn up!"

Turn up!

♪♪

♪♪

[Angelina] I mean, listen.

I think Pauly's, like, a great guy.

I think he's cute. Um, I think he's tan.

He's got muscles. He's got tattoos.

And you know what?

If-If I was a single girl, I probably would bang Pauly.

Whoo!

[Snooki] Whoa!

[shrieking]

[chortling]

[bleep] is, uh...

[bleep] is, uh...

this "debaucherary" is just befuddling.

Oh, my God!

I definitely think Angelina loves her fiancé,

but she doesn't know when she crosses the line.

[shrieks] Girl, you cheated.

[Joey, imitating Angelina] Um, hello?!

Wait, Angeliners and Pauly. They might bang tonight.

Angelina, I'll be honest with you.

If you wanted to have sex with me, let me know.

[gasping] 'Cause we could do it.

What the [bleep]?

[crowd cheering]

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Ooh! She's cheating! She's cheating!

Oh, my God!

♪♪

I just feel like she needs a one-on-one lesson

on how to be a good fiancé.

Yo, let's go.

Let's go home.I'm out.

[Snooki] We're all wasted.

I need to keep Angelina away from Pauly.

She's like, "Yeah, I'd [bleep] him."

Like, no, girl.

Pauly!

[Joey] Wait, what?

Angelina! Oh, it's just you and me?

God, you are so [bleep] up.

Th-- this cab is spinning.

[slurring words] I'm [bleep] [bleep] up, bro.

[stammering] No, the Advil will k-k-- will kick in.

[mocking] Abba-ca-vick?

Angeliners and Pauly.

Did you see them dancing? Okay, you know what...

[laughing] She wrapped her legs around him.

They might bang tonight.

[Pauly D] Angelina, I'll be honest with you.

If you wanted to have sex with me, let me know.

[gasping] 'Cause we could do it.

What the [bleep]?

Can you take me to the Planet Hollywood ASAP?

Ready?

Can we get breakfast? You good?

Yeah. I'm drunk as [bleep], bro.

[giggling] I love when you're drunk. It's so fun.

[Pauly D] Yo, Mike The Situation. Yo!

[Pauly D] Can you hold my chain?

Can you get out, you tarantula?

Uh... what is happening here?

I love you. I'm good! I'm fine!

[Pauly D] I'm drunk as [bleep], bro.

[Mike] Yeah, yeah, what do you need?

[Pauly D] I need a r-- a responsible party

to hold my chain. [Mike] I got it.

[Pauly D] And, uh, get me to the room safely.

Big Daddy Sitch is officially on Pauly duty.

How did this happen? My man is-- is sleepwalking.

[laughing] Yo... Come on.

One foot in front of the other, come on.

This is like "Mission Impossible" guido style.

She sure was... Yo, I want to get these sconces for my house.

Oh, hell yeah. The Designation in the house.

I appreciate you takin' care of me.

Hell yeah.

I owe you my life.

I got you. You family.

[Mike] Pauly D is in the building.

The Designation has struck once again

to get his roommates home safe.

[chair dragging]

[chair clattering]

What the [bleep]... is going on here?

Oh, my God. The sun's coming up.

Look! There's a whole village. Where is JWoww?

[Snooki] Who cares? She's going home.

I'll have one c*ck and then we'll go to bed.

Vegas!

Your best friend. Your best friend.

Thank you for coming. Thank you--

'Cause Jenni's leaving me.

Let's go gamble. Let's go.

Do you have money?Yeah--

You poor b*tch.

Wanna do a cartwheel.

Do you have slutty outfits?

No. I'm classy now.

I'm riding a roller coaster. [giggling]

I'm on Pandora and I'm riding a dragon.

[imitating Nicole] Party's here!

Get it, Marge!

That's ver-- that's... that's lyrical.

I'm, like, so [bleep] annoyed

at the fact that Jenni's leaving.

Don't worry about it, don't cry about it

'cause I'm here now and I'll take care of you.

Thanks, babe.

[Snooki] I have Joey here, thank God.

Because I was literally so upset two seconds ago,

and I see him and it's just like,

I'm gonna be fine.

♪ This is true romance ♪♪

You're passing away.

♪♪

♪ In the middle... ♪

[JWoww] Nicole and I were keeping secrets from each other.

We were.

I didn't tell her when I was booking my flight home,

and Nicole didn't tell me that she invited Angelina.

So I'ma just tip-toe out of here.

I-I don't know. It sucks, but at the same time,

it's like we obviously have problems.

We're not as close as we thought.

I don't get angry anymore unless I'm, like, really, really hurt.

So, like, this is the end result

of me being angry is that I'm hurt.

Bye!

See ya later.

See you guys back in Jersey.

♪ Where do we sta-a-a-and? ♪

♪ Where do we sta-a-a-and? ♪♪

[JWoww] Going home!

♪♪

♪ Roll, roll, roll, then we ride, then we ride ♪

♪ You know you see us cruisin' down the block, down the block ♪

[Ronnie] It's good to have everyone around.

You know, I just wanna spend time with my roommates.

But I need to just deal with all my personal issues,

so I'm going to see the lawyer, so, you know, this way,

when me and Jen do fight, that the baby isn't involved.

♪ Every time you see me put on the line, put, put, put ♪♪

[Joey] Where's Angelina?

We're the only girls here this weekend.

The three of us have to hold it down.

[Snooki] Waking up this morning,

I look over at Jenni's bed and it's Joey.

Oh, my God!

It's legit all vodka. [coughing]

But I'm not gonna let Jenni leaving ruin my time.

I'm gonna enjoy myself, have fun with the roomies,

and I got my g*y best friend

and we're gonna be total degenerates.

Oh, JWoww left her boots!

Oh, my God! They almost fit!

I mean, they don't zip, but I can get in them.

Ooh, girl!

Mama's got a brand-new pair of shoes!

♪ We got young love ♪

♪♪

♪ We got young love ♪♪

[Nino] Oh, that smells good.

How's that? Is it good?

Hot. Is it hot enough?

Hot? There's no cream.

Mwah!

Why do you do that? "Mwah"?

Mwah! 'Cause I love you so much.

[Vinny] I am back home.

I always love going home, but it's like,

I didn't wanna be going home for something like this.

[Vinny] My uncle has passed away.

It's just a sucky situation.

If I sat down and thought about it,

I would be depressed.

In Vegas, I saw Ron's baby.

Oh, yeah? [Nino] Did you?

[Vinny] Yeah.

Oh, my God! She's going in my neck.

[Ronnie laughing]

[all laughing]

Pauly, let's go.

She was so beautiful. [Paola] Oh, really?

Pudgy little baby? So chubby, yeah.

Aww. She looks like him?

[Vinny] Yeah, she looks like him. She like this?

[all chuckling]

I mean, you sound like

you really liked holding that baby.

Oh, like for me to have a baby?

Hopefully I will do it

when I'm ready, and it happens--

'Cause it's a big responsibility.

Yeah, 'cause I still always use protection

and-- you know what I mean?

[Paola] I know you do. I find them in the laundry.

I found them yesterday in your pockets.

The gold wrappers. Yeah, damn right they're gold.

[Nino] Still doing his laundry, huh?

How's he gonna look for a wife if you do everything for him?

What's the matter with you, Paola? Why, where am I going?

Even though my mom, she would love a grandchild,

she doesn't want me to get married.

Did you see his wife? Girlfriend?

Yeah, his girlfriend was there.

Oh, yeah? How was she?

Get this [bleep] off me.

You text me at :, "sl*t, wh*re, liar."

You piece of [bleep]!

Uhh, it depends on what day it is.

I don't know. It's, uh-- The baby is a good thing.

It's just that he has to get himself together 'cause they're probably...

[Nino] It's a good thing with the right woman.

...came too fast.

[laughing] Even with the right woman,

there's always problems, you know what I mean?

Yep. There's always problems.

So when you start--

when you start like that, you know what I mean?

He did. He [bleep] too fast.

You're already starting with issues. Came too fast.

What are you guys talking about? Idiots.

♪ They gon' try and knock you down, but just come again ♪

♪ They gon' try and slow you down, but just run again ♪

♪ They gon' try and shut you down, but just get the win ♪

♪ Show 'em why you the one again ♪♪

Oh. My. God.

I found this, um, on the table.

What the freak?

"Hey, everyone, left to clear my head for a few.

I'll be back later. Love you all. Ronnie."

Hopefully he's okay, and I'm hoping

he comes back tomorrow and he's in a good mood.

Who wants to go to the pool? Let's go to the pool. I do!

[Joey] Is that the pool?

[Snooki] Oh, that's the surf thing.

[Mike] Who's gonna do it? Who's gonna actually do it?

Joey, you do it. Someone has to do it, you do it.

The jiggliest-tittied b*tch in the house?

Last I heard, Flo Rida was a rapper.

Have you ever surfed before? No!

Aww, you're doing it today.

♪♪

[Pauly D] Oh, my God. He almost died.

[Mike] You got this, brother.

I can't do that.

Yeah.

[inhaling]

[Pauly D] Come on, Joey!

[Mike] Come on, Joey! [Angelina] Come on!

Come on, Joey! Do it! Do it! Do it!

[Mike] Come on, Joey!

[all laughing]

Oh, he's k*lling it! Yes!

[all laughing]

[Pauly D] Yes!

Joey is k*lling it out there.

He's controlling it, controlling it, controlling it.

And then all of a sudden, boom!

[all] Ohh!

[Pauly D] That happened.

Oh, my God. His pants fell off. Ohh!

[Pauly D] Joey looks like a beached whale right now,

like, flailing around.

Waves are, like, ripping his bathing suit off,

and, like, everything's out.

Oh, he's naked! He's naked. He's naked.

He's naked! [Angelina laughing]

Ohh! Oh! He's naked!

[Angelina] I am so happy that Joey is here

because it gets, like, everybody off of me

because he really is crazy.

Joey, I just saw your p*nis.

Yo, and this is supposed to be family hotel, bro.

It was.

♪ I gave you reasons and you give back doubts ♪

♪ There's always something that won't work out ♪

[Ronnie] Everything that's going on with Jen is,

like, driving me crazy.

They say, like, if things aren't good at home,

then things aren't gonna be good in life.

Me and Jen, we're gonna be involved in each other's lives forever.

So it's like, we may be toxic forever.

♪ You've been fighting me all along ♪♪

[Ronnie] I have to make a change for my daughter, you know?

I have to put a stop to this for Ariana.

Like, something has to be done so that this way,

she has stability and foundation.

[Ronnie] That's why we need some kind of guidelines,

and to make sure that she's all right at the end of the day.

Thank you.

And I don't wanna make my roommates have a bad time,

you know, dealing with my [bleep].

It's like, let me deal with my [bleep],

and you guys enjoy your vacation.

♪♪

[Joey] We're going to Chippendales.

[Snooki] Let's get ready.

You have to hop on stage when we go to that strip club.

I'm not going on stage, you psycho.

Since it's our last night in Vegas,

we got tickets tonight to go see Chippendales.

I've seen the show before.

It's amazing. They're guy strippers.

♪ Yaaaass ♪

I'm just super excited for Joey to go insane,

because I know he will.

We walk in, and it's like,

we are here for the [bleep].

And Angelina will probably cheat on Chris.

I'm excited to go see penises in my face right now.

Come on, SmileDirect! Whoo!

Thank you, girl. Glad I--

Angeliner's gonna go on stage

and she's gonna be a little wh*re.

[both screaming]

[Snooki] Angelina! I'm coming!

We're leaving! You look like a g*y cowboy.

You look like a tr*mp. Let's go. Thanks!

I've never seen the girls so excited in my life.

[Angelina] I'm finally wearing underwear.

Oh, good.

[Mike] It's like Christmas right now.

Pauly, you're coming to the male revue tonight.

No, I am the male revue. [chuckling]

[Snooki] Ohh!

[Snooki] Come on, Chippendales!

[Pauly D] Mike, we got foods!

Ooh, yaass.

How you feeling today? You good?

I'm good now.

Let me ask you something.Yeah.

Would Laurens be okay with you staying in Vegas

for an extra day instead of going back?

I don't see why not.

This is the last night here together and I'm like,

holy [bleep], that went by so fast.

I wanna take advantage of Vegas a little bit more.

Okay.

I think we can get Vinny to come back.

We can get Ronnie to have fun. Yes!

We'll do, like, a boys' weekend.

Get the girls outta here.

We'll finish this vacation the way that we started it.

You feel me? You know what I mean?

That's what I'm talking about.A'ight.

Mike, you gotta keep it secret though. Okay, all right, all right.

If anybody's gonna let this secret slip, it's gonna be Mike.

He can't keep a secret to save his life.

[phone line trilling]

[Vinny on phone] Hello? Yo, my dude.

[Vinny] What's up, bae?

Checkin' on you, man.

I miss you out here, and I-- I wanna get you to come back.

Ronnie needs us. I got Mike here.

And I think we should do just a boys' thing, if you can come back.

So the first guys' night was kind of a bust.

[woman] Bar service only here.

Bar service only here. Oh, okay.

[laughing] It was a boring night.

But I don't wanna go home just yet.

[Vinny] I don't think that's a bad idea, just having the guys.

But hopefully that can help in some way, you know?

Yeah, absolutely. You're still a chooch.

[Vinny, laughing] You're still a guido.

Stay up, player. No doubt, one.

♪ Rock it up, unh, cut it up, yeah ♪

♪ Get 'em up, unh, put 'em up, yeah ♪

♪ Rock it up, cut it up... ♪♪

[audience screaming]

[Snooki] In Vegas, Chippendales, hot guys everywhere.

Chippendales is, like, the best show.

[audience screaming]

[shrieking]

I'm here for Joey and Angelina.

I'm here for moral support.

I'm gonna die!

Jenni would've loved this. She would've died.

But she's not here, so I'm super excited

for Angeliner to see, and Joey.

They are going to freak out.

[audience screaming]

♪♪

Sex!

♪♪

[laughter and cheering]

I'm hoping that my fiancé understands, it's just a show.

It's not really something serious.

♪♪

Oh! Oh! Oh!

As long as they're not on me, then I think he'll be okay with it.

[Joey speaking indistinctly]

Whoa! Whoa! Cheated! Cheated!

[Angelina] Holy [bleep], these guys are really hot.

I mean, really hot.

[audience screaming]

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Oh, my God!

She's cheating. She's cheating. Oh, my God!

She's cheating! Angelina!

She's so aggressive!

[audience screaming]

[shrieking] Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

♪♪

[Snooki] Thank you.

If Chris finds out that Angelina was all over Pauly,

and now the Chippendales show?

You're not gonna be engaged anymore, you're gonna be single,

because he's not gonna deal with that [bleep].

I mean, come on, girl.

Come on. Ooh!

[Angelina laughing] He's wrecked.

After this crazy male revue night,

we're going to the High Roller here in Vegas.

Pauly invited all of us.

Dude, you have to drink water. That's what we did last night.

[Angelina] I've never done this before either.

So tonight is just, like, my night.

Like, we're doing all these new things.

Crack, homey!

[sighing]

[Snooki] Joey, you need a water.

♪♪

[Pauly D] Sin City, baby. Look at this place.

It's nighttime. That's when I come alive.

[Pauly D] Yeah, buddy!

Before the Shore,

Big Daddy Sitch was at the male revue

from : to : in Jersey.

I remember 'cause you gave, like,

I don't know, maybe Jenni a lapdance...

Don't be afraid to tip the entertainment!

♪♪

[Snooki laughing]

I had very humble beginnings.

Had very humble beginnings.

I do remember my old moves,

but they are strictly for my fiancés Laurens.

I wasn't the greatest at, uh, my performances.

And then I... got demoted

to waiter/massage guy.

And you had to massage the guys?

No! No, no. It's-- no.

It's for the girls. It's for the girls.

[Pauly D] Yep. Sure it is.

Here it is, the High Roller.

[Mike] Oh, [bleep].

[Snooki]'Cuda.

Oh, [bleep], it's a Snookis. Oh, hey, guys.

[Pauly D] I wanna show my roommates the High Roller.

So cool! It's really dope.

You go up in these pods, you go up in the air, it's open bar.

I'll do a vodka seltzer.

It's, like, the best views in Las Vegas.

I'm gonna have my birthday party in this pod.

[Angelina] Um, it's moving.

[Pauly D] Yeah, buddy!

Oh, we're going up.

[Pauly D] Damn, this is cool.

[Angelina] Sick. I love this.

[Snooki] This is so cool.

We're almost at the top now.

You can see Seaside from here.

You can see the T-shirt shop from here.

They still owe me a paycheck.

[all laughing]

My God, we really are almost at the top.

Look how high.Oh, wow.

[Snooki] Oh, we're on top!

[Mike] Oh, that's dope.

[Angelina] Yeah, we are at the top.

[Pauly D] Holy [bleep], look down.

We should've done this when Jenni was here.

If my best friend was here, she'd be freaking out.

Overall, this was not what I was expecting,

um, our vacation to be in Vegas.

Me and Jenni are basically just not in a good place right now.

I thought it was gonna be like, oh, I hate you,

wake up the next day, oh, cool, we take shots.

No, this is, like, real-life drama.

Like..."Cops."

There's Ron! I see Ron!

[Snooki] Do you remember dancing with her last night?

At the club? No! You picked me up!

There's no way. Yes, you did.

[Snooki] Pauly, I remember. I was in the booth.

No. No, you came back.

You picked me up and you were like, "Eh!"

[Snooki] Whoa!

♪♪

I did? [laughing] Yes.

You cheated, I cheated.

#ICheated.

I'm single, and I cheated. And you loved it.

[Pauly D] I'm of course gonna have to tell my boyfriend Vinny.

♪ Awkward ♪

I can't believe I had sex with Angelina in the club.

Do you remember?

Mike, you were there. Pauly was rubbin'.

We had sex in the club. Yes. Yes. Yes.

[Snooki] Yes, that happened. [Pauly D] I remember.

Oh, my God.

[Pauly D] 'Cause I woke up and now it burns when I pee.

[Angelina] Oh, my God.

Angelina right now is getting comfortable,

and she's starting to feel like she's a member of the squad.

What'd she do? She showed her n*pples.

[Pauly D] Showed her n*pples. Farted in my bed.

Hazmat came twice.

You made a great impact in Vegas.

I definitely feel like me and Angelina got closer.

I like when she's not causing drama

and she's not being extra or disgusting.

I gave you a yeast infection.

Eww! Shut up.

[Snooki] It happens, but she's definitely a fun time.

So I'm glad she came.

♪ Feeling all right... ♪

So dope to have you guys in my city.

Pauly's hometown. Thank you.

Woo-hoo! We k*lled it.

"Jersey Shore" took over Las Vegas. Right.

[all toasting]

Yeah, buddy! To Las Vegas. Yeah, buddy!

[Joey] Yeah, buddy! [Pauly D] Las Vegas!

Hey, let's open the door and let Angeliner out.

[Angelina] Pauly!

[all laughing]

♪ Feeling all right ♪♪

♪♪

♪ Come on, let's go ♪

♪ Everything is fine, you know ♪

♪ In fact, it's better than fine... ♪♪

[Angelina] Last day in Vegas.

Pauly D, wake up!

[imitating Pauly] Oh, yeah! Wake up, yeah!

[Angelina] So today's the last day in Vegas

and I'm kind of, like, bummed out about it.

I don't wanna leave Vegas yet. I'm, like, having so much fun.

I can't believe it's our last day. [bleep] it!

Let's just keep drinking. [Joey] Oh, here!

[cork popping] Ah! Oh, my God!

Ugh, looks so fun outside.

I wanna stay in Vegas.

My skin is looking real right.

[Pauly D] Yo, Mike.

[Mike] Yo, yo, what up?

[Pauly D] Operation Boys' Weekend.

[Mike] Yes!

They have no idea. Do not blow this, okay?

They don't know about Vinny,

they don't know guys' weekend is here.

[Pauly D] I'm trying to pull a boys' weekend for Ronnie.

So the plan is to get the girls out of here,

let them think that we're leaving, but we're not.

The only problem is, Mike's horrible at secrets.

We're actually baking a cake for you right now.

Oh, yeah? Oh, nice. Funfettis and all.

[Vinny] What is wrong with you?! [Snooki] Ruined it!

[Deena] We're telling you zero things.

Didn't we say to wait for the surprise?

I told him we're making him a cake.Why?!

You weren't supposed to! No! Why?!

That was the surprise! We're g-- now he knows.

That was our surprise!

All right, let's go o-- let's go over the plan.

So we're on a red-eye flight.Okay.

We are leaving today. Okay. Okay.

Okay? I have a red-eye flight.

Mm-hmm. Are we sitting together on the flight?

No, I'm not-- no.

I live here. You're leaving.

[Mike] Listen, this is not easy for me.

Big Daddy Sitch does not lie or does not cheat, okay?

That's one of my integrity rules.

Who am I sitting next to?

I don't know. A stranger. [laughing] Oh, [bleep].

A'ight, a'ight, a'ight, a'ight, a'ight. Don't mess this up.

Um... one more tim-- wait, wait.

One more time. Wait, wait.

Okay, repeat after me.

You had an amazing time in Las Vegas.

I had an amazing time in Vegases.

I will see you soon. I will see you soon.

You are packing, you are leaving.

I am packing, I am leaving.

And you are staying here... Yes.

...because you actually live here.

I live here. In Vegases.

Mm-hmm. All right, all right, all right.

Can we get food before the flight? Me and you?

We can get food. We can get food. We can get food.

We can get food. Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Now, you with me so far? I think I got it.

Don't [bleep] this up.

Okay, Operation Boys' Weekend.

Operation Boys' Weekend.

[both grunting rhythmically]

All he has to do is play this cool

and we'll be fine.

Good morning. Mwah!

[Joey blows raspberry] Angeliners.

[Angelina] I can't believe it's our last day.

[Mike] Uh, yeah.

I had an amazing time, and I'm not staying here.

Wait, what?

Um... I'm leaving today, but you're not coming with me.

No.

What the [bleep] are you talking about?

[Pauly D] Yo, Mike, shut up.

Put food in your mouth. Just stop talking.

Ooh, a mountain is outside. Mmm.

[Joey] Ron! [Snooki]Ron!

What's up, guys? Where'd you go?

I had to get away for a bit.

I missed you.

[Ronnie] I went home for a day to just get away.

I'm dealing with a lot of different emotions with Jen,

not seeing the baby, and just everything that's been going on.

I needed to just be one with myself, you know?

And like, that's one thing my father always stressed

is peace of mind.

He's like, if you don't have peace of mind,

you're not gonna have anything.

It was just too much for me, you know?

I need to be in one level, so that's why

I just had to step out of here for a little bit.

Whatever you need to do, bro. [Ronnie] No, I know.

Now, I just gotta kinda... [Snooki]Mm-hmm.

...do the mature thing and step away, like, you know?

So... [Snooki]Yeah.

I'm super proud of Ron because he's growing up,

and he's adulting, and he's figuring out

how to handle situations better.

What do you guys wanna do today? [Angelina] It's our last day in Vegas.

I wanna go cray. Let's go to the pool. Last day.

Yeah.Angelina, you wanna get some of this?

I'd [bleep] die if I did that.

Why? How do you do it?

So step on it. Wait, wait, wait.

In the middle of your feet.

Yeah, get it. Go through ten times.

Ten times? What happened to GTL?

There it is. [bleep] gym...Gym--

...a tan by the pool... This is the gym?

And "L" is now lips.

[all chuckling]

All right, let's go get ready so we can leave. Come on, mama.

[Joey blows raspberry] [Mike] All right.

[Snooki] Are you gonna shower? You haven't showered yet.

[Joey] I showered in that stripper pole shower.

[clears throat] Yo, so, the girls, they have no idea.

They thought last night was the last night.

I extended the room.

Vinny's coming back. They have no idea.

We're doing a guys' night, and we about to turn up in Las Vegas.

Oh, all right. Just partying, the way it's supposed to be.

Just the guys. "Hangover" style.

[laughing] "Hangover" style. Yeah, I like that idea.

Cool. Nobody grabbing your junk.

[both laughing]

I definitely need some drama-free fun

more than anybody, you know?

I just need to be away from the drama,

which I think at this point is all of the girls in my life.

So, yeah, I need to get away from the girls.

I need that more than anything right now. Yup.

[chuckling] No drama.

That's how vacations usually are.

Except our vacations. [laughing]

♪ Gotta do what you do just to get your kicks ♪

♪ Hanging with the crowd, you can let it loose ♪

♪ It's not very far just to get your fix... ♪♪

May I have the avocado burger? Okay.

And I will probably take a juice and a water.

My liver is k*lling me from all the tequila in Vegas.

Oh, my God. You look so pretty!

Aww, thanks. Hi!

So I invited Deena for lunch, an organic lunch,

to catch her up on all things Vegas.

Have you been nauseous or di--

I was. I-I'm starting,

now that I'm hitting my -week,

it's starting to simmer down.

That's awesome. How was Vegas?

I was definitely having FOMO.

Um... so I'll be honest.

It was so much drama.

You, thank God, did not come.

Really? Mm-hmm.

Guess who showed up.

Oh, Angelina?

Oh, my God.

Get this girl a wine, somebody.

Did Nicole invite her? Yeah.

Oh, my God. How annoying.

Ugh, I left.

Wait, what? I don't know.

I wanted to finish out the vacation with everyone,

but I was so annoyed that Nicole invited her.

It was just--Yeah.

It was weird.

I didn't even, like, say good-bye-- good-bye to her.

'Cause when I left in the morning, I snuck out.

So we haven't spoke since.

I don't know if I'm in a good place with Nicole right now.

I did not expect Vegas to go the way that it did.

I really hope that when we see each other again,

we can have a real talk because it is a little weird.

It sucks.

♪♪

Cheers! Last day! Last day!

[Mike] Yes! Yes!

[Angelina] I wanna go in the pool.

[Joey] We're going swimming.

And then there were three.

PMS. Pauly, Mike, Snooki.

Yaaaass! Yaaaass!

Whoo! PMS, yes!

It's our time of the month.

[laughing]

So me and Joey are in the pool,

and I'm just trying to find this guy a man right now.

Chicago.

[squeals]

Perfect.

Oh, my friend's here!

[Snooki] Hi. Sit down next to my bro.

What's going on?

♪♪

So Joey found himself a friend,

and this person looks just like him.

Do you think I'm cute? You are.

It's weird.

Are you horny?

Not yet.

[shrieking] Joey, stop!

Joey, he looks like you. Like, what is going on?

Joey could be making out with his brother right now.

Do you realize you guys could be twins?

Stop!

Outta here! I'm hooking up!

[Pauly D] Joey hooked up with himself.

[phone ringing]

Yo. [Vinny on phone] Yo, what up, guys?

Oh, hold on.

Hang on, hang on. Mom?

My mom. Where you at?

Oh, perfect. So, listen, check this out.

I gotta buy some time right now.

'Cause I'm gonna have to get the girls outta here.

It's gonna be a minute.

All right, bye.

He's with it.

Let's roll out, guys. [Mike] Roll out.

Aww! [Pauly D] You guys gotta catch a flight.

We gotta leave this state.

Bye, guys. Say bye to my friends.

[overlapping good-byes]

I'm attracted to him. I think he's hot. He's you.

[Pauly D] This pool's a wrap.

Time to head home, get these girls packed,

and we can get boys' weekend started.

Can we go race vehicles tomorrow?

For g-- oh, I mean... not tomorrow.

I'm joking.

Shut up. Just shut up.

It's the last day. It's the last day, yay.

Oh, my God, we made it.

I can't believe this party's over.

All good things have to come to an end, my friend.

Joey, we gotta pack.

Kinda happy to go home to see my fiancé and my animals,

but at the same time, like, I'm gonna miss the roommates.

I had such a blast here.

I mean, me and Jenni, we still have problems.

But I feel like I'm actually starting to, like,

be friends with these people.

Oh, man, bittersweet, huh? Yeah.

Insane. You gonna miss us?

Yeah, you guys were freakin' amazing to me.

Thank you for inviting me. Yes.

I had so much fun. Did you have fun?

I did.It was very eventful.

It was... insane.

Angelina, you're one of a kind. Listen.

I had to make my mark.

Skid mark. [laughing]

Oh, my God! I have so much.

How did I pack all this in two suitcases?

'Cause I was sober and responsible.

Me and the roomies have lived a ton of places together,

but I feel like Vegas is, like,

the wildest place we've ever went to,

with the drama, the chaos, the partying.

I mean, we really went all-in.

And this trip was, like, insane.

I will never forget this trip. Unfortunately.

[phone ringing] Yo.

I'm just waiting, so just let me know.

It won't be much longer. [Vinny] All right, let me know.

All right, stop calling my phone.

[laughing] Bye. Let's go get him.

You better not say a word. Yo!

Keep your mouth shut, bro. Yo. Yo, son.

Keep your mouth shut, son.

Where did you get that idea from?

You're gonna be late for your flight, come on.

All right, almost done packing.

Do you want me to close the bag for you? Yeah, can you?

Angeliners, I'll help you carry your bags.

[slot machine beeping]

Oh, my God, you guys are gonna miss your flight.

I need help! [Pauly D] I got the bellhop ready.

Mike The Situation is the bellhop.

How is that gonna fit, Snooks?

Ugh, I'm such a mess right now.

We got it. We got it.

Thanks, Mikes. Let's head out.

We're gonna walk you guys downstairs.

Angelina, cabs are here! What?

Bye, Vegas! Bye, Vegas!

It's been real, but [bleep] off.

[Pauly D] Well, thanks for coming. Have a safe flight.

Text me as soon as you land. Love you, babe.

Saying good-bye normally is, like, bittersweet,

it's all emotional, but not this one.

I'm like, all right, girls, see you later.

You're good. All right.

All right, guys. We got the-- we got the next cab coming.

All right, love you guys. Bye!

[all saying good-bye]

Oh, yeah! Boys' weekend, yeah!

Where's this Keto guido?

[both] Heyyy!

Hey, hey, hey! I don't know that dance.

[Mike]Heyy!

I missed you. Oh, MVP. MVP!

What up? I am back in Las Vegas.

I cannot believe it.

Feels good to be back with my family here as well--

Oh, yeah! My Keto guido's back, yeah!

Woo-hoo! I missed him! Whoo!

[Vinny] Yo!

My Keto guido is back! Whoo!

Ron! Hey!

[Mike] Time to turn up.

[all] Las Vegas!

Guys' weekend! Oh, yeah!

[Mike] You hungry yet? I'm a little hungrys.